London Business Trips & Brambles

Busiest weekend!

I glamorously fluttered from a full week of work, juggled the babies, winked wit a wine and then after a few hours sleep, I was up, getting changed and headed to London on Saturday for a really important meeting. I had another really important meeting that I ended up having to Skype whilst en route to Platform 3A to Kings Cross. It’s always weird doing a work Skype call in really public places, as you feel like a dickhead whilst you’re trying to sell yourself. Everyone glares at you likes you definitely have the lergy. But at least I had gin and tonics in my handbag. I kept shit bouji. It got me over the ‘pretending that I didn’t notice everyone glaring at me.’

Right, I’m just going to skim everything, as far too much has happened and I don’t have time to fit it all in. Plus, I have work in an hour.

Got to London in one sassy stop, was two hours early for my meeting, so I took my blue pin striped self to The Plum & Split Milk (which is one of favourite ‘by a train station’ cocktail joints. It’s delicious and decadent, with good looking waiters and chandeliers. But more importantly..the food and cocktails are DIVINE and made with love.)

This American guy started talking to me at the bar. He had always wished to go to LA, but spent his time in Philly. His sister was getting married in Scotland, which found him in London sat by me at a bar. He was smart and new lots about news and current affairs. Y’know, stuff that I’m shit at. However, I got him talking about men, sex and love…just in general 🙂 and after his eyes kept wandering to my boob line…I knew my time in his world was done and that I had stamped my mark on his life path for probably ever.

‘I feel like i should know who you are?’

‘I’ve got 3 minutes to get to my meeting…Nice meeting you. See ya!’

(I look to the bartender…)

‘Where is the Karpo Grill?’

Shot across the busy London streets by Kings cross, in my mini skirt and shirt, with 1 minute to go and a really big meeting ahead of me. I didn’t bring a coat..I was freezing, but as soon as I got almost outside the ‘Karpo’ door, there was a guy, a fun, warm business guy waiting for me with a smile..

‘Chrissie?’

‘Yeah, yeah…HI!’

‘It’s just straight down there…All the way down…’

Karpo Grill is a great place to chill and have a meeting. As soon as I tottered down, I felt cosy and comfy…Two other members o the team were there, so I ordered a wine and we got chatting…(I LOVE THESE PEOPLE. Their project is amazing…and if it’s done right, it will BLOW UP.)

Obviously, I can’t tell you anything about my meeting, other than banter, maybe naughty natters, a look to the future, sexiness, wine and agreeing business collaborations. There may have been talks about chimps, lovers, chips and peeky train rides. AND I DEFINITELY randomly started CHOKING on my burger, because I kept getting excited and talking with my mouth full. I really did choke. It was embarrassingly hilarious..and they were so polite that they didn’t make my embarassing choke festival a ‘thing.’ It was great! 🙂 More wine!

But yes, four very different people sat at a long Karpo table…yet the perfect elements to help smash one of the biggest projects about to infiltrate your lives…Were all very smart in our own areas of expertise.

I’ve signed and NDA, so that’s all I can wink at ya. But I am SO excited to be part of one of the most exhilarating projects that you WILL BECOME ADDICTED TO. It’s sexy, sassy, so creative and has never been done before! You will be hooked! As like I said, I have never been so excited for a project before, the way I am with this.

STAY VERY TUNED!

Then with five missed calls from my fabulously camp Liam. (He was in London overnight to get ready for filming the next morning for a TV show,) i had to dash off as fast as my kitten feet to take me.

I air kissed everyone goodbye, thanked them…and in a whirl…I swooshed away, out of one glass door, across more busy streets and into another…which lead me to a corner table, in a swooshy cocktail bar, as Liam sat there with a smile, a drink already ordered for me…and a sparkle in his eyes, which meant that we were going to have the best gay/girl banter that you could only have on a Saturday night, over Brambles in London…

That night I agreed to get kidnapped by the Gays…

To be continued…

I need to get to work.

 

 

 

Don’t look like a sausage roll…

I’ve just been living. So my apologies for the ‘no blog.’ I kept meaning to write one, then I’d opt for a beautiful fruit gin instead, as I hovered the dairy in’pending’ before another gin tinkered in.

I’ve worked through the weekend, so I pretty much only had Sunday to *kapow* it. As usually I’d KAPOW Saturday and take a massive luxury chill on Sunday. It’s like i had to *binge* fun into a day with friends, cocktails, family and love. I don’t like *binge* fun, cos now…it’s Monday and I feel fucking shattered. I’ve also decided that anything that begins with the words ‘ALL IN….’ is shit. 🙂

Lots is happening. My world is spinning, it’s a really exciting time and I feel like i’m about to wink my way to everything i’ve  always dreamed of. I had a few last minute glitches at the end of last week work wise. Some people kind. Some people… RUDE as hell. (Don’t be rude, i’ll think you’re a dick. I don’t know where people get off being ‘no reason’ rude…especially when they look like an ice goat from the Narnia cupboard. You can’t be a goat, have poor shoe game and then try and spit out bastardy behavior. It will not work for you…even if you’re wearing my Little Mistress faux fur.

Saturday was ‘work Saturday.’ And it was rubbish. I hated Saturday because I could’ve thought of 900 other things that I would rather be doing, than what I was having to be doing. I kept looking at the window sighing for more eventful times. I wanted to karate kick out my cage. Lol.

If my chick friend ‘Double B’ didn’t state that some looked like a… (wait for it..)

‘…a sausage roll with a wig on..’

Hhahahah! Life would’ve be shit. And because it was THE ONLY funny thing to have happened, I clung onto the thought for hours and it tickled me all day.

‘What are you laughing at?’

‘I’ still not over the sausage roll thing..’

‘It’s because she does actually look like one…lol.’

I LOVE ‘Double B’s insults because they’ll always be the most comedically odd, bitchy bits of ‘hoo haa.’ Like if ‘Mean Girls’ was Yorkshire and dipped in a silly whore sassiness…you would have what my ears hear on daily, from this chicks mouth. And then she’ll always top off the worse bits of insult off with her, ‘PAY THE FEE’ cheerleader dance.

‘Pay the feeee. Pay the feeeeeeeeee. Peace out. A Town.’

Firmonnell’s still happily married to ‘Big D’ and he’s totally stepped up his game. First he introduced a sex step, THEN he got a promotion…AND NOW he obtains these bags of jelly babies for free.

Big D and I used to go ice skating when we were kids at The Dome…as that all you could do in Doncaster… or ‘Dancing School.’ I mean who on EARTH gets to be married to Willy Wonka. AND SHE CAN’T EVEN ICE SKATE. I did the polite thing and told her that I might love or feel up her husband now that he has jellies.

She told me to ‘BACK THE FUCK OFF‘ Hahaha!

‘What? the dude’s got sweets and shit?’ 🙂

I’m loving this new ‘nothing to lose‘ outlook on life that i’m totally A* ..ing. I’ve got the reins to my world now and i’m flying baby, FLYING! Yes, i’m being a bit sassy, a bit annoying, a bit of a ‘doo daa’ at times…but i’m loving it and it’s ace and this is my patch of cyberland…so there! Prosecco for everyone!

(Hustle Barbie says it’s MY fault that she didn’t tidy her house because she went to do a blog catch up and ended up on this blog for hours. I assured her that there would be hot toyboys who would offer to clean her home for her…and that she could then leave her beau to date Gino D’Acampo. Great solution! I should have a therapy show!)

I’m in a swirl. God! This guy, ‘the swirl’ has got me going CRAZY!

Me: ‘I can’t hake you out my head. You’re in there. Always. I like it.’

‘Yeah me too..it feel ssoooooooo good.’

It’s thrown me a bit as you know how much I distrust my own judgements on anything ‘love or lust‘ related. This weekend, i just thought ‘fuck it’ (as I just can’t quit swirling about him) and with the whole ‘nothing to lose‘ mantra strapped onto my dildo…:) I WENT FOR IT.

He might have sent me a *spacky bum bum* emoji at one point. Lol.

I like this guy (but i’ve been treading cautiously..of previous)…We already get on well, so we don’t really need to try at that, as it’s just the way our personalities jigsaw. That part is a biggie, so we’re lucky like that.

So after picture taking, messages and him having a mild moan that they wasn’t much video content…Lol

‘Work your magic. 🙂 xx

‘You work your fucking magic. I’ve deleted every single SELFIE IN THE WORLD!!!!!’

We pissed ourselves, he went off on his night out and I got dressed, went to the bar and asked a guy to delete all my read emails so that I could video. Hahahaha! And he did! Very grateful!

Video galore was made on Sunday. It started sweet and just turned x rated. I couldn’t help it. The guy gets me going like that. Then like a magical flowing trail of saucy digital content…I proved that I had ‘nothing to lose.’ 🙂

It felt liberating. It felt sexy.

It was received with the upmost appreciation and messages to assure me that it was divine. Lol

I should get trophies for it! Yet, the art of sexy and seduction is knackering. I needed a warm bath and a ‘straight to bed’ afterward. Knowing my luck, I probably got him all juiced up and filled with spunk, so he could go bone some ‘first girl there’ chick because his willy couldn’t help it. Hahaha! I DID ALL THE FUCKING LEG WORK!!!! 🙂 Whatever, I’m Miss Wunna…ain’t no girl gonna beat my sauce. 🙂

Joking aside. I’m happy and like i said, you have to cling onto those moments of happy, don’t you? They keep things exciting and we (I hope) have exciting times ahead. The swirl is good because it weirdly has a magic to it, a magic that i’m labelling ‘substance.’ Like it could go really well..if we wanted it to.

If I could give you any advice from what I’ve learnt from my weekend, it would be to GO FOR IT. Express yourself. Be loving. Be open. be honest. Don’t give two shits about fear and get what you want…or at least have a go at trying…

‘Once upon a time..Mummy sent Daddy Nudes….and they lived happily ever after! 🙂 ‘

Oh and try not to look like a sausage roll..

Shit, i’ve got to dash…

Working ALL DAY.

 

 

Wunna Dolls, Rum & Banter

My kitty eyes shot open at 2.47am this morning. YES! At 2.47am…THIS MORNING! I’m totally gonna feel it later when work kicks in and my brain decides to not work. I need a morning mimosa. *Gimme Gimme* Ugh! Cupboard is bare! 😉

When you can’t sleep, you have a troubled mind. That’s exactly what I have. There’s SO much swirling around it, that I pretty much swear that my forehead is ready to curl forward and *boink* the imaginary panic button. Hurrah!

It’s good, because everything is about work & opportunity..and there’s a lot. Yet, bad because i’m obviously not ‘on top‘ of it all. This blogging malarky isn’t as easy as I thought..when it turns into a business. I can’t even sleep. I think i’m gonna go with the ‘i’m a genius and can’t sleep’ line, yet really i’m just human and right now I THINK I ‘can’t do this all by myself ‘ line. BUT I CAN. I mean fuck it. I’ve done everything else by myself…including raising children.

I got up at 3am and worked. I worked. I whopped out my little pink laptop and worked. I planned my entire week and month out, to set Wunna Land into confetti hero showers. Now I just need to execute and not worry. Yet, I’m a creative and what i’ve learnt is that creatives need to JUST BE creative and have someone else deal with the harsh reality of business and building. Their two different things. Two different skills. I want to just be creative and tell my sassy little story. Plus, I learnt from one of my previous bosses ‘The Mighty’ that when one person does too many things, they fuck it all up and give a ‘lot of things 20 percent,’ instead of one thing a juicy 100 percent. IT’S TRUE!

Anyway, enough of all that. It’s boring me. I’ll quit being a walking ‘Sad Act‘ now. (The words of ‘Double B.’)

Yesterday was an ace day,  filled with good times, friends, work and sass. It made Monday less shit. I didn’t even have time to curl my hair in the morning and it didn’t even matter! 😉 I know! Wow wee!  *Wink*

We decided that I should create ‘Chrissie Wunna’ dolls, so that Firmonnell can give them to her children.

Firmonnell: ‘As soon as the Chrissie Wunna doll comes out, I’m buying them for my kids.’

But honestly, how fabulous would my ‘Chrissie Wunna’ doll be!! It’d have boobies and be all glamourous and when you pressed it’s stomach, it’s shout things like…

‘Fuck it!’

‘Where’s my prosecco…’

‘This is bouji!’

Firmonnell, Double B and Hustle Barbie literally DIED over this idea for a good…well minute… 🙂 , as then we got distracted because Mel started sauntering in with her ‘stress face’ asking our advice on tidying…Don’t know what happened but…

Mel: ‘How the HELL have I started a conversation about how to find the time to clean my house properly and it’s turned into a conversation about THRUSH???’

Me: ‘I’ve never had thrush.’

Double B: ‘I’ve had thrush and that thing where you have to drink cranberry juice.’

Firmonnell: ‘Y’know you can get nipple thrush from breast feeding.’

Me: EWW!

Mel: ‘Whatever Chrissie. I would’ve thought you would’ve had a a cocktail of STD’s in your time.’

Fairytale Blond: ‘I’ve had thrush in my belly button..

Me: ‘Lovely’

Hustle Barbie: ‘Did Prince Jonny put it in the wrong hole?’ Haha’

Fairytale Blond: ‘I need to take these shoes back, I bought them for Monte Carlo tomorrow..’

Me: ‘I wish my belly button looked more SHOCKED and less smiley.’

Firmonnell: ‘Yeah mine looks like it’s just chilling…

Then ‘Double B’ decided to remind me that her beau’s willy looked like..

‘…one of those fun scrubby things you can get to clean dishes with, y’know in your sink….with a fuzzy afro on top.’

He never gets a blowie and she really doesn’t care. Lol. She’s just laughs in the face of blow jobs, adjusts her bra and asks for a pork pie, as she tosses her blond extensions everywhere.

‘Taylors Butchers was shut. I tried to get a pork pie there yesterday!’

Then I’m not sure what happened…But we started taking about old people and how weird it would feel to be a granny and how if I was ON MY OWN and 80, i’d be alright because, I’d

‘…definitely smell of rum and sex.’

Much better option over moth balls. You either smell of Marks & Spencers, Cats, Toffee, Wee or Moth Balls when you’re a granny. That’ll be me one day and I’m gonna make sure I smell of rum whilst being wheeled down the corridors to…. (I have no clue where i’d be wheeled to? Lol) I’m gonna be a RUMMY granny.

Anyway, ass…ass? Lol. AS!!!

As much as I love you, I do need to dash. I have school runs and a full day of work to jolly onto. I have great boobs and a wink in my think, today. I’ll definitely be knackered later on. I swear this blog is like therapy for me. One day you’ll be covering my meltdown…BUT JUST NOT TODAY.

Work hard. Do well! Love lots!

Oh and follow me on everything, so I feel extra adored. Lol.

Snapchat: chrissiewunna1

(I don’t know who chrissiewunna is..but it’s not me and i’m sure she is far more naked or chatty…lol So do make sure you add the right one.)

Tweet me: @chrissiewunna

Instagram: chrissiewunna

Like my Facebook Fan Page: http://www.facebook.com/chrissiewunnadotcom

 

Sassy, Bank Holiday Sexiness…

I’M HAPPY!

I’m sprinkled in a confetti fun, dazzled with a giddy charm. I’m feeling flirty, fun rebellious. I’m enjoying my life to the max. I’m laughing with my chick friends, tinkering in the art of business and winking at strangers who deserve a bit of love from Wunna Land. Right now this weekend…even though i’m feeling a bit chubby, I’m totally on top of my game and DOLLS it feels FUCKING GREAT!

I’m enjoying every waking inch of my Bank Holiday weekend. You only live once. I’m loving it.I’m living it and doing everything that I want, when I want. I think there might even be sunshine! I’ve loved, danced and done candy flossed ‘toy store’ openings with my GORGEOUS little Wunna babies. They rinsed me. I didn’t care. If you work hard and can’t spend your money on the people and things that you love, then you’re doomed. I’ve lunched with family. I’ve drank salted rimmed margaritas at Ego in Ackworth. I’ve Pornstar Martini’ed it at city centre pitstops ( I LOVE A POP UP BAR) and over the finest wine, the most delightful lunches and VIP tables that I couldn’t turn up to, I’ve had fun. I’m happy and the great thing is that this weekend, I’m not suffering fools. I’m taking not shit. No nonsense and embracing every part of me that feels powerful.

IT FEELS SOOOOOOOOO GOOD!

I’ve had lots of my chick friends ask me a great deal about love and how it all works, how men work, how life works with them etc…and FIRSTLY…I’M DEFINITELY NOT YOUR BEST BET. I don’t win stars in that category. I’ve had my heart break and heal so many times that nowadays, each time new love comes striding into Wunna land, I smile, go with it and just keep my fingers crossed with hope good intentions and laughter. That’s all you can do. I know girls like to ‘fuss.’ But i like to keep things simple. If a dude likes you, he’ll like you..and he’ll come get you and if he doesn’t…he won’t. You don’t have o put your life on hold, or worry for nothing. If he adores you…he won’t lose you. Yet, I will say that I have noticed from some of my closest chickdaees that once a guy does ‘get you’ and feels all ‘slipper comfy’…which don’t get me wrong is lovely…sometimes…they forget that to make sure their girl is feeling adored, appreciated and loved. We’re weird ones, us girls. It’s something we always need to feel. Even when we feel it ourselves. When we love, we love whole heartedly, don’t we? We come shooting out that canon head first, in a swirl of love madness. It’s nutty. But hilarious.

Men aren’t the same. They’re growers. *Wink wink* They grow to love…after an initial infatuation..which is pretty sensible, on the whole..Lol. My LA friend Dylan, once explained this to me whilst chucking pasta to a wall, in strips, to see if it was cooked,as a really rummed up Magician decided to get really drunk because no one loved him? Anyway he told me, that men where like trains… and that they needed to *chug* along merrily, with no pressure before they eventually decide to THEN go through the tunnel… slooooowwwwwwlllllllyy…. and once they do and the come out the other end…. they’re apparently hooked, ready and at that point will love you more than anything? He must’ve been pissed? What the fuck was she on about? Dickhead? And that pasta wasn’t cooked. Lol.

Yet, anyway, we as chicks have become so independent, that we’ve cut the guys so much slack when it comes to making them BE MEN. We’re all self sufficient and bouji and can do love, business and life all by ourselves now, can’t we? All that’s great, as I wave the flag for a hard working kitten. I am one. BUT I like to keep love ‘old school’ in a modern day world. It’s hard isn’t it? I’m unconventional, fun and wild, yet i’m a sucker for a guy that knows how to love, goes for what he wants and as he beams, makes her beam like there’s nothing in the world more precious. Like a whirlwind of sensual, magical, yet innocent stars swirl around you both…it’s filled with  trust, loyalty, fun, sex and romance. It pisses all over Tinder. I hate all that shit.

But enough about love! It’s Bank Holiday Sunday! YEAH DOLLS! 2 for 1 cocktails for everyone!

Y’know why i’m feeling so great? It’s because i’ve pulled my kitty socks up and got shit done. I’ve had fun, met up with friends, lunched, drank and had the most divine time with my babies…BUT THIS WEEKEND, after a long week of work (and I did feel sorry for myself all last week) I’VE MANAGED TO GET BE SO PRODUCTIVE AND ACTUALLY GET SHIT DONE.

I’ve smashed it and loved it. No feeling is better to me than that feeling of actually committing to being productive and seeing the results from it. I know!!!

I’ve made sure that i’m all over your news feeds, i’ve replied to all of my messages, I’ve drawn you to fan pages, instagram pages, Tweeted my way into your lives and Snapchatted bits of life, to beckon you into Wunna land like I have Haribo in my pocket or something. 🙂 It’s worked and right now, you’re being a great audience. It almost turns me on. Lol. I mean, I only put in a BIT OF WORK to see what would happened. So if I got my glitter elbow grease out….I’d nail it. I’m feeling really confident. It’s crazy. I’m on FIRE! It’s sexy. I’m feeling sexy. 😉 I mean, I might have even felt so sexy that I Googled Porny Gifs to utilize my feeling of ‘sexy’ into ‘expression. LOL. Just me. No one else. Keeps you out of trouble. What? It’s good for you! 🙂 I’m like a dog on heat right now. I don’t know what’s up with me? I need 24 cold showers…and a seat belt. I’m feeling ‘more than usually’ kinksville. I need to slow my libido roll down.

I love these moments where I put down my daiquiri and make hay whilst the sun’s still shining. I’m ambitious so when I see results..I love it. I’m brimming over with this cheeky prosecco bubbliness. I feel amazing and I hope you do to!

My mind works weirdly, so as Jack Parson’s had told me I’m getting ideas, jotting my them down, whacking them on my walls on Post It’s and slowly putting together a plan. I’m NOT business minded. I’m a creative. I’m really creative. I’m an entertainer. So its almost like I have to approach business creatively or with more thought…OR just work with/hire the right people.

I hope you’re going to enjoy today?I have a few errands to run, before cocktails in Leeds. My friends are either out or doing date night, home life lunches or babies….I mean ‘The Mighty’ (who has managed to produce a second child) text me last night determined to FIND FUN in Leeds, when we were all at home. Lol. I knew that Mel was out, as I met her, Alex & Esme at Ego whilst they lunched and I handed them Garden Centre soap. Lol.

‘Are you trying to say I smell?’

‘Does Esme want a Mocktail. Ruby’s getting one?’

Anyway Mel went off and did hotel night with ‘Her Gary.’ I want a hotel date night. They’re always so much fun. There’s something so sexy sounding about them, right?

But yeah, I’m tired of typing now….

Enjoy the sun…as i’m definitely sure that I want to be laid on some inflatable cactus lilo right now, with a fruit umbrella drink in my hand, about some sunny pool, in a hot pink or leopard string bikini.

I have a shoot tomorrow…I boudior shoot so to speak with Claire Pritchard. She’s an AMAZING photog. I can’t WAIT to be a ‘fallen angel.’ What could be sexier? AND as you may tell…I’m feeling somewhat sexy right now. I’m embracing it as it’s my thing. It’s how I feel and where I feel most comfortable. I love sensuality. I love sexiness…in all forms. More than anything I love being a girl…We should embrace our womanhood more. It’s so powerful, it’s scary. I’m looking forward to filming my Vlog.

Ps/ I’ve spend the morning being obsessed with David Beckhams Instagram page. It’s amazing. You can’t help but love The Beckhams can you? I adore them. They’ve smashed it.

Ppps/ I love that someone actually Googled ‘Sumo Porn’ yesterday and found themselves here on this blog. You dirty bastard. Hilarious.

 

 

I’m in a SWIRL….

I’ve had the most AMAZING weekend. To be fair aside from a shoot cocktails and chilling with family and friends…It’s been pretty chilled. Yet it’s how I’ve FELT this weekend, that has glitter glided Wunna land with ‘ooh laa.’

I’m in, what I call…’a swirl.’ 🙂 🙂 🙂 A Wunna land ‘swirl’ is that slow motion moment of absolutely glee that you experience, when you’re radiating happiness, a beam from your heart and you just can’t stop smiling and all because of a current ‘romantical’ 🙂 encounter. A swirl is always in the present, it is a ‘moment’ of now and that is what makes it magical. (Oh! And I have new flooring down in two rooms, after late night workabees with tool boxes came and sorted it all. I cocktailed under the evening stars, to get out and let them get on with it. I came home to new floors. SOOOOOOOOOO GRATEFUL. That’s made me smile also…Lol.)

But i’ll cut the crap.

There’s this guy…

I don’t even know how to tell it or say it, as my ‘swirl’ has got the better of me? I’m a kitten, it’s what happens. But i’ll try my best, right? Obviously, my weekend of fun had to get postponed to next weekend due to ‘circumstance’ yet bizarrely, I have had the most surprisingly fulfilling time of ‘chitter’ with this guy, that has helped us to get to know each other, so much more closely. It’s crazy.

I WILL tell you that I woke up Saturday morning and accidentally smashed my face on the corner of a wall…Lol…I’M THAT GLAMOROUS. There was blood everywhere and it was all very dramatic for a good 3 minutes. 🙂 Then wet wipes and Estee Lauder came to my rescue and *POP* I looked brand new…fresh out of a glamour pusses rescue box. Then swarmed with a Glitterati Army, a glam squad, beauty brushes flying and fresh white dressing robes…I shot for a new campaign for one of my favourite brands, that you will all here about shortly.. because what I do is tell everyone about it. 🙂 I guess that’s why i’m such a trendy cyber tool for brands right now…KEEP THEM COMING! I’m loving life!

Anyway, all morning and right until the last part of the night, where we both committed to  ‘shut eye’…the guy in question and I had been back and forth messaging all day. We got on with our own version of life, whilst inviting the other in…This guy is really attentive, so like myself really, if you message him he’ll message back straight away, he’ll remember to check in always and without being prompted. He’s hilarious. He’s sweet. He’s sexy…but he’s loving? I say it with a question mark, because i’m surprised. He’s extremely expressive, which is what I adore in people. I’ll tell everyone exactly how I feel always and I’ve always found it hard to find gents who do also. Not with this one…he’s on it. I tell him everything. It’s almost like having a ‘bestie’ that isn’t remotely in friend zone because I want him so badly sexually.

Then he had a few hours where he had to concentrate on the ‘football’ part of his life. (Stereotypical isn’t it. 🙂 One went to a glammy shoot, the other went to play footy.)

I tottered out to grab early dinner and keep myself busy with cocktails at ‘Ego’ in Ackworth. my fave local spot and mainly because yesterday when i tottered in, the bartenders there all looked so happy and busy. They were having the most hilarious time ever, making fun of each other, laughing out loud…the energy was good and with a..

‘HEY CHRISSIE…Cocktails?’ *Wink*

I felt right at home. They love me there. I love them there. It’s how it works and I Tweet my love for them always. Lol. I sat at the swanky bar and laughed along with them…next to some middle aged guy and his milfy wife. They were great! I loved her. Milfy wives are usually evil, but she was sweet and funny. I find that sexy, so i ordered another drink to celebrate…

‘I want something that’s not crazy boozy..?’

‘I’m making you a Miami Ice tea…Lol…’ (The most boozy.)

He just kept pouring this mixture of shots in an trying to disguise it all with ‘fruitiness’ and smiles. We were all pissing ourselves.

‘WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT! WHAT ARE ALL THOSE SHOTS!!! What is that mystery *no label on it* bottle? Haha. Why does that look like man juice??’

‘If you don’t like it, you don’t have to pay for it. it doesn’t have ruffies in it! Lol’

‘Here’s a free strawberry daiquri Chrissie..’ said another voice and a hand that poked around the bar. JEEPERS.

The cocktail was delicious…So once again THANK YOU EGO for making me cocktails that tasted like deliciously fruity, sex without protection….:) You’re may favourite bartending team. I’d give you an award if I could be arsed. 🙂

So it seems that I was so in the Ego cocktailing moment…but I wasn’t. I swept away in my swirl.

The guy had finished up and got home and we were chatting the whole time…as I was finishing my drinks…and let me tell you, we literally just beamed and laughed out loud the whole time. There’s a buzz about us. A chemistry. But not an irrational ‘all over the place’ chemsitry. It’s more a well balanced, lively, yet sexy chemistry that is sponged over with a friendship and a cuddle blanket of peacefulness..a happy. 🙂 I don’t think we can actually believe that we on so well. and it’s just great because like I said to him…

‘Everyone would think, that we’d be out being absolute total knobs, when really we’d be home watching The Voice in our slippers..I love a good sing song show! Lol.’

‘Haha…Me too! I know!!! I love it! You’re stunning y’know. You’ve got me smiling, we get on so well..I can’t wait for Date Night…a nice meal a few drinks.. I’m hooked..’

We’re quite misjudged people…so it’s lovely to know each other personally.

I literally tell him everything…I sat back on my bar stool, comfortably against the wall, in my knee high boots..absolutely beaming and I said..

‘Look at us two!!! Lol. We should’ve done this earlier. But i guess, you end up talking to people when you’re meant to. I’m hooked too…I’m sprung. I obviously want you. Madly. I’m SO attracted to you and at the same time I love that we get on so well. You make me happy. We’re going to be THE BEST. It’s perfect.’

‘You are making me smile from ear to ear here! 🙂 🙂 You’re gonna make me a happy man. This is worth the wait. I want to make you feel like a million dollars. x’

‘You already do.. I want you to wake up every morning and feel like the greatest man alive.’

Then…..as the ‘look at us being lovey’ swirl, had obviously taken flight and magically ‘Gone fucking Ape’ around our two lives…

He sent me a Snapchat… Not a naughty one. But a Bunny Eared, Voice Changer one of him singing along to The Voice intensely…

HAHAHA! See! That’s why he’s ACE! Dying!

Not only did I die with laughter, but as soon as I opened up my *snap* and watched it, my PHONE FUCKING DIED, so it looked really bad like I hadn’t responded. Lol. So I had to get random people to charge my phone for me, just to reply.

I got home. We chatted all night. My floors were finished. (Thank you so much!) I showed the boy..in my voice changer, bunny ears.

Then the rest of it is far to dirty for me to tell you about…:)

What? We’re sexy people? We’re both that way inclined and just crave each other all the time..I’m sprung.

Therefore, like he responded with Bunny Ear songs…which makes him ace. I responded with ‘send nudes’ material. Lol. I really did…and a flipping ‘let me just have this wine first’ video..which in his world…makes me ACE. LOL.

‘You ARE going to make me a very happy man… I’m just beaming!!’

Shush you lot. We’re grown ups.

Then back in snapchat bunny ears and jumpers…

‘As if you’re just laid their in your jumper after i’ve done all that shit!!LOL’

…we chatted some more and laughed the rest of Saturday away…

‘Hurry up Next Week!’

And as Saturday was over, but not yet turning into Sunday…we chilled out and tuned out…

‘Night. Night Wifey xx’

‘Love you Hubbster… xx’

The thing about life is that it’s there to be lived and it’s the moments like my Saturday night, that make you feel alive…It’s those moments that you should treasure…as it doesn’t matter if that moment is temporary or forever…it’s ALIVE and it’s NOW! It’s always about how someone makes you FEEL. Everything is about how you FEEL. When someone MAKES me feel great…I always treasure them.

And so no matter what…on Saturday April 2nd…I felt alive….because of this guy…

Hope you had the most AMAZING WEEKENDS!

Thank you for following my life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We Should ALL Send More Flowers

I’m shattered! It’s a good shattered. But oh my pansies, I need a trip to the forest, to chill in a champagne twinkled hot tub, away from ‘the bustle’ of ‘all sorts‘ where I can just work quietly and do the things that I love, without drowning in my OWN freshly created work load. Lol. Becareful what you wish for, as you just might get it dolls! 😉 I just need peace and what could be better than the ‘hidden away in a the calming depths of the forest’ effect ..AWW! That would be BLISS.

I’m doing well. I’m doing really well. Yet, my mind is really busy. I’m almost doing too much for me to handle by myself now. Part of me thinks that I can’t juggle it, but my drive just tells me that I can…and I end up doing it anyhow. But gosh, THANK GOD FOR GIN AND COCKTAILS….I love you like I love Jimmy Choos, Diamonds and Sausage Sandwiches. 😉

I’m in a giant work swirl. It’s madness and on overload. I told you i’m shattered. But i’m a really lucky girl, as I have brands campaigns, collabos, marketeers. agents and all sorts flying in with opportunities galore right now. Well I always say I’m ‘lucky’ because i’m grateful for any person, who sits in their office and just has a…

 ‘Hey, that Chrissie Wunna, she’s amazing, let’s work with her,’ moment.

Yet if i’m being honest, i’ve worked my kitten SOCKS OFF for those moments to occur…I’ve been up since five o clock this morning, I’ve worked all day and i’ll be up until the early hours still smashing out press releases, potential business proposals, whilst replying to all that is incoming. (Thank you for all the incoming opportunities. I honestly appreciate it madly.)

Do know that all this is at the same time as being ‘Mum.’ I LOVE BEING MUM and I make sure that I have those simple moments every day, where in which I can keep grounded and still be in touch with life. The people who get lost in the work swirl, lose their soul. They forget their purpose and you can see it in their work, their manners, their blogs, vlogs and all sorts. You can see it in their eyes, their smile, their mind.

I’m lucky because i’m surrounded by great people every day who keep my glittery soul alive, BUT REAL. Lol. There’s no ‘pampering of the star’ as I like to call it in Wunna land. Hahah! I mean for fucks sake ‘Take Me Out Nick,’ (he’s pretty much one of my besties, even though he keeps offering me imaginary cups of tea, maybe his body and can’t be home when he tells me to pop over,) certainly referred to me as a ‘gimp’ today…and I’m definitely sure that ‘Double B’ told me to ‘fuck off’ just because I looked at her. 🙂

Yet at the same time, other humans (who are just as ace) called me things like ‘beautiful’ and ‘thoughtful’ which again reminds me that I’m not an absolute buffoon after all. 😉  I sent a girl (well it was Katie at Social Chain) flowers the other day, to thank her for being so lovely to me..and she received them yesterday, on International Women’s Day, with a message that read,

‘It’s the smallest things that make a girl smile” Thank you for having me. Love you, Chrissie x  www.chrissiewunna.com’

And I didn’t do the standard ‘call the flower shop, at the last minute’ bouquet thing. (Even though I love that too 🙂 because it’s the easiest way to get yourself out of trouble in an emergency. Are you listening boys???)  I went with my favourite flower delivery service ‘Bloom & Wild’ and because nothing is more delightful to me than hand picked, fresh cut flowers, that are specifically chosen for the person in question, boxed up and presented beautifully with grace, love and thoughtfulness. To me, it is the most simple, yet elegant way to say ‘Thank you’ and I personally think that MORE girls should be delivered surprise flowers. People don’t seem send flowers enough these days, do they? I want to see more of it in 2017.

I love great people and I love brands and ideas that are ‘old school’ with a champagne misted twisted of modern… I share them an awful lot with others. Pretty much because brands of that sort represent who I am.

Anyway…

I really wanted Katie to be sat at her desk, at work in Manchester and to ‘out of the blue’ recieve a surprise box that contained my fresh cut flower choices, for her and not just to say ‘thank you’ but to also make her smile at the same time…That’s what Girl Power is about.

She Tweeted me earlier this afternoon to thank me and as I read the Tweet out to ‘Hot Sarah’ (whilst complaining because someone had dropped cookies all around me) it genuinely made me happy just knowing that I made her smile. Even for just five seconds, she would’ve have cut away from her own version of work day ‘bustle’ to simply feel a moment of extra appreciation. 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

More people should send people flowers. It’s lovely.

Right, it’s 10.30pm and I have what feels like a 100 emails to send out before I can actually get some shut eye. So I’m pouring a gin and tonic and getting on with it.

I forgot to tell you that ‘London Business Man’ (who I whatsapp weekly, we’re good friends now) had a car crash and ended up in hospital. He lost control of his car on the M1 and crashed into everything, as his car swirled around and smashed his head into windows. I’m in SHOCK. I can’t believe that happened!!! Yet he’s on the mend. I should send him rum.

‘Eton Mess’ (who is lovely, but I haven’t chatted to him in months) has found himself in The Maldives…He’s a natural adventurer and well one minute he was in Manchester, coming out of a stressful time romantically and the next minute he was enjoying life the way he always wanted to, swinging from palm trees and bathing in the sun.

You never know where life is going to take you….but enjoy it! I always always say …that I never know exactly what’s going to happen to me…All I do know is that it’s something wonderful.

 

 

 

Don’t Mess With A Brother & His Chicken

‘Hey? Are you by yourself? Lol. What you never know? So what’s the plan today?’

The next morning in Manchester had sprung and before I had even managed to roll over in my fresh white Macdonald  Manchester Hotel sheets and rub my kitten eyes…my phone was already throwing Tuesday at me with a ‘Hurry the glamourous fuck up…’

It was snowing outside my executive suite windows, in Manchester that day! I nibbled on ‘Welcome Chrissie’ chocolates that had been left in my room, I dipped into the warmest most bubbliest bath…I LOVE A BUBBLE BATH in hotel rooms, as it’s means I must have ‘chill time.’ Showers are for rushy times and even though ‘rushy times’ are great, because they wave the flag for ‘busy,’ which means opportunity is in the palm of your hands…Nothing to me is better than those moments where you look after yourself….in bubbles…with massages….with love…or with a fresh cocktaily treat. That one moment sorts you out for the rest of the ‘dash.’

Then there was mad grooming, hair clipping, pouting, slefies, (…I mean selfies…) snapchats, last minute room checks, the gathering of goods and as I shot down out the door, down FIVE flights of stairs (I didn’t take the elevator), with a warmth, a smile and a ‘Thank you so much, you guys have been amazing,‘ I checked out my the Macdonald Manchester, swung through the revolving glass doors and WALKED to the train station (that’s why I stay there, as you can chill in bed longer and take warm baths, simply because it is moments away from your train…) and before you know it…BOOM, I was headed back to Leeds…followed by a train to Xscape, to meet good friend Abeiku Arthur (who owns the High Fashion ‘House of Solo’ Magazine) to grab lunch… and well fill him in on a  quick mountain of gossip…that I KNEW he was going to try and cleverly drill out of me.

So, I was stood outside Xscape in Castleford, it was Tuesday…and I saw him strolling up, so with the biggest smile and the loudest shout and maybe even a joyous booty dance, to not rub MY ACE LIFE in his face… I glamourously yelped…melodically ofcourse,

‘I SAW STEVEN BARTTTTTTLEEEEETT! I SAW STEVEN BARTTTLLEEET.’

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He grinned with pride…we sort of *knuckled punched* a greeting and ran into Nandos to chow down on a bit of Peri Peri Chicken (Extra Hot) with a side of ‘catch up’ banter.

Big A: ‘Are you getting extra hot?’

Me: ‘Dude, I’m ethnic. I do extra hot.’

Now, in life…I’ve swanned around some of the most glamourous lunch spots that the world has to offer, with tiny plated savory treats, that is misted with flavours of  five star dining…BUT sometimes a chicks just got to sit with a brother and smash a bit of grilled chicken with hot sauce.

‘So, go on then…what happened at Social Chain…’

‘Everything they’re amazing. I was there for about an hour and a half…and yeah I definitely want to work with them.. I definitely fancy Steve and Katie is great…’

‘What’s Steve like then? Is he really all that or is it..?’

‘I’ve got a blog coming on this…’ (That moment where you don’t tell you friends things so that they HAVE to read your blog. :))

‘Do you want chips?’

‘Yeah, Peri ones…I’m getting a wine too…’

‘Aww, grab us a cider…You know that I met that chick from Vogue at Fashion week right…So what’s Steve like then….’

Then we smashed Peri Chicken and chips, guzzled wine, laughed about life and how it makes paths cross. (Remember at the end of last year, I told ‘House of Solo’ that I would get to meet Steve at Social Chain…AND I DID IT. Lol) We talked career, business, the future. I told him where I was headed with Chrissiewunna.com, he’s developing ‘House of Solo’ better than expected now. I mean GOD, you can buy your copy in the Eurostar VIP section, as you’re travelling to Paris fashion week…that’s a great new step. (And I don’t mind rambling on about it because I’M IN IT. BUY THE SPRING EDITION NOW! Lol)

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Then I suggested that we roll on to Burgers & Cocktails and grab a few drinks. Well I said ‘just one…’ But we know how that nifty slogan pans out…:)

Plus, I Love ‘STILL DAYTIME’ cocktails. They often feel funner than nighttime cocktails and we had a lot to chat about.

Lord knows what happened. But I ended up smashing 4 …’with sixty percent proof’ bits…’Flaming Mon’s,’ that had flamed flying out of my passion fruit and all sorts. I’m surprised naked dancing man didn’t pop out of my drink and slap my booty. It was a fruity tooty show piece.

I guess, people are similar to the cocktail that they choose to drink, or it depicts your mood. ‘House of Solo’ had a shandy. A Red Stripe Shandy. (An improvement on the ‘evening before’s’ company who simply drank water. Lol. Yet, Come on now…let’s jazz this up a bit…FUCKING RED STRIPE SHANDY with a ‘Can I have more lemonade please.’

We got the best seat in the house, which if you are following this blog, you will know that the BEST seat is wherever I’M sitting 🙂 and it’s referred to as the ‘Power table.’ Lol. In this case, it was AWESOME because we chose to not face each other and instead have seats that where onlooking the passerbys through a big glass window. We watched every single one of you and made up our own renditions of how your life goes..:) and mainly because we’re bastards. Lol. But whatever, I had had a bunch of cocktails by this point and was sneaky phone charging, so the staff couldn’t see.

We BELLY LAUGHED at life, he talked fashion, I talked Social Chain…He stupidly believes that there are actually still VIRGINS over the age of 20 in Castleford. *DYING WITH LAUGHTER HERE*

‘What the fuck are you on about? She’s not a virgin. Virgin’s are like UNICORNS…they don’t really exist…only in your deluded mind.’

Big A: ‘When I was in college in Castleford, this girl asks me out, and I thought it was weird because she asked if she could *start seeing me* and I didn’t know what that meant…cos in Africa, well…we’d just…’

(Then he does a mucky face with laughter. Lol. Do note that ‘Big A’ is African…and moved fresh from those exotic lands to Castleford. Lol.)

‘So why is it that men of the African Variety like chicks with booty?’ (As in a good bum and curvy bits…not as in what Pirates find in treasure chests.)

‘Well it’s all we see there and yeah I love a curvy girl. A big girl. That’s why it’s weird that I do High Fashion, as I have to see creative beauty in chicks that I don’t fancy at all…’

‘Why are guys scared to approach me..?’

‘Cos you’re Chrissie Wunna…’

‘No I mean really? Like really… You KNOW ME…Would you personally be scared to ask me out, if you fancied me…?

‘YES.’

Then we both PISSED OURSELVES LAUGHING, I recieved zero love life help and then out of the blue like the world had popped ‘crazy pills’ of joy, ‘House of Solo’ JUMPS UP with excitement and screeches, in his Big Black man voice…

‘Nando’s has liked our Tweet!!!!’

Honestly, it was like the world had decided to fuck up and chose us to be The Gods, for the rest of your time here on Earth.

I looked at him *blank*…not quite getting why he was that excited?

This is a guy who has VOGUE ‘like’ his work and that doesn’t phase him. Yet Nandos’ likes ONE TWEET..and he’s up in arms, screaming and shouting at how Nandos is so much bigger than Vogue and he needs to screenshot the ‘like‘ and post it everywhere. Lol.

Now, not to blow my own pink trumpet or anything 😉 But, I’m quite used to brands ‘liking’ stuff that I do. 🙂 I’m just this little kitten, who writes some blog and it’s all got carried away and now i’m (cue: Tabloid Titles:

‘..Making blogging cool again/ I’m the best thing to happen to Cyberland/ I’m the UK’s Carrie Bradshaw, / I’m Social media’s Newest IT Girl/ I’m an Sassy Inspiration..I’m everything, they say I am. 🙂 Honest!

So Nando’s ‘liking’ a Tweet, is GREAT (if you want to work with me 🙂 ) But until then…it’s kinda just a ‘like.’

Get it? Good!

Me: ‘You have three more trips to Nandos, three more posts, 3 more ‘likes’ and a Retweet until you get some Nandos attention. Let alone a flipping Black card dude.’

‘You have Black Cards to every glammy venue ever, but you don’t have a Nando’s Black Card..’

‘Yeah. They’re not going to give ME  one. People like David Beckham get them..Ed Sheran has one…I’m just this chick who writes a blog..’

‘We need one…’

‘Don’t put YOU needing a Nandos Black Card on ME. Lol. Okay, fine…let’s do Nandos every day.’

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He *beamed* with happiness….and as time flew and life went on…(I had a busy work day the next morning, so I had a lot to prep for), I waved ‘bye’ and he hung out of a window and shouted…

‘YOU DON’T MESS WITH A BROTHER AND HIS CHICKEN’

 

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I Should Own Theme Parks…

Holy Moly! Hope you’ve had your version of the perfect Sunday. If you’ve woken with the worst hangover on Earth, or steadily made your way to church? If you’ve treated yourself to a hard work week lay in? Or if you’ve looked to your right and had to roll some dude or chick out of your sheets, because beer goggles got the better of you…? 🙂 Maybe you just shopped or went to gym? Either way, thank you so much for *tapping* into Wunna land and no matter what you ended up doing, know that that was what you were supposed to end up dong, I guess?

I got up at the *crack* of dawn. I swear cockerels could’ve crowed. Early Birds sang at my cloudy windows. Wunna land switch the *on* button on at soon as daylight began to peek through into Sunday and my Mum, my Dad, my brother, Ruby, Junior and I..all showered, glammed and dressed ourselves for a day out at Sundown Adventure Land, in Retford. Is it in Retford? I’ve been as a child before it spread it wings and developed into a childs theme park and OH MY GOD, let me tell you…I have happy kids, they are the happiest kids in all the land, BUT I HAVE NEVER, seen them AS HAPPY, as they were today at Sundown Adventure land.

It has just reopened for the season, Ruby chose to celebrated her birthday there with her family and honestly, if you have children under the age of 10…(and I have two) it is THE BEST LITTLE HAPPY PLACE to adventure them to. It was AMAZING! WHAT A SWIRL! Just seeing their faces burst with this overwhelming excitement *shocked* me. I had to fast totter behind them in thigh high heeled boots, this giant white faux fur, and skinny jeans pissing myself because I couldn’t catch up! My entire family of Orientals had to *tag team* these kids like a game of British Bull Dogs…on tequila.

So, I guess..’The Wunna Babies,‘ is a thing now? As i’ve noticed that I have an inbox filled with ‘come play with my brand’ requests for ME…Yet now…there are teeny tiny dashings of…‘We’d like to offer Ruby & Junior…’

So before anything THANK YOU SUNDOWN ADVENTURE LAND FOR HAVING US. The most amazing time, with the most amazing staff, service and childhood memory magic. You made my little giblets smile. I’ll probably not do it in heels next time. 😉

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Today…I was nothing but MUM…and Oh Lord….before noon, I had swung on monkey bars, gone on a Robin Hood horse journies, been shot at in the Wild Wild West by cowboys (the last cowboys I met in Wunna land were strippers, so obviously, this was an odd change ;). ) I had crept through a witches caven and controlled their evil Tom Foolery, had fudge….lived Christmas again on their sleigh ride, gone on some Gold Diggers (no jokes 🙂 ) western rollercoaster train, flown on pigs with The Angry Birds, danced in Liquorice labs in Lollipop castles…chilled for some time on the sand in Captains Cove, had tea at Goldilocks’ house in Storybook land…Met the Three Little Pigs, fell off the wall with Humpty, followed the Yellow Brick Road, tinkered in Toy Town, let the kids ‘drive me for wine’ in a tractor and loved every single WAKING MINUTE OF IT. The wind was in our hair, life was all around us and we loved it. We sort of felt life today.

The day ended with Ruby asking if I could buy the entire place, so she could live in it forever. IF ONLY. If Dolly Parton an have a Mini Theme park, I can have a Wunna Land. It’d be ace. I could name the worlds after my favourite cocktails. 🙂 The ‘Prosecco Log Flume.’ (There’s no point to it, you just get to float around in diamond encrusted glasses, smash down the bottom of the flume and land in Prosecco. Lol. My ‘Tequila Slammer’ ride would be great. You just have a lick of salt, shoot a wormy tequila, go on the ride that just *shakes you inappropriately* until you’re ill and then suck the lime once done. 🙂 *DaaaDaaaaaaaaaaaa!*  My stop offs would be massage parlours, pap shoots and contour lounges. Let’s call the Disney Clan and tell them to shut down immediately, as they’ve no chance once I open.

We’ve honestly had THE BEST FAMILY DAY EVER. Infact, so great, that we all passed out in the back of the car….aaaaall the waaaay home. 🙂

Hope you venture to Sundown, as The Wunna Babies and I will be spending a lot more time there this year! 🙂

However, if you think my Sunday *pauses* here… you’d be wrong. You have another blog coming this evening…as I’m about to get everything ready to shimmie down to Manchester tomorrow, as I will be taking a cheeky, peeky into the world that we know as The Social Chain.

 

Birthdays, Chill Mode & Manchester on Monday

I think i’ve just let my body embrace ‘chill mode’ and this isn’t any normal kind of ‘chill mode,’ this is the ultimate, soft landing, let your world sink into deep relaxtion, as a release mode.

I feel like i’ve just jollied in from the LONGEST work week ever. I can feel it all in my back, all tense. All knotty. It was just one of those work weeks that just kept going and going, with early mornings, late nights…and not even nearly enough wine.

When my body is still ‘running’ it does the job and gets on with it. YET, there was just a moment, on Friday night, where in which I tip toed away from the bustle. (I’ve worked A LOT over the last week, but i’ve felt it? Friday was also Ruby’s birthday…She’s now SIX :)..so even at home, it’s been ‘go, go, go.’ People, plans, giddiness, all sorts.) But yes, I looked around me, at the bustle and I snook away for a second, to have a chill, just a little old lay on my good old bed. (Total Granny. 🙂 ) And as my utterly glamourous head, hit that extra soft, feathery pillow, almost as if it had happened in slow motion, my ENTIRE SOUL felt a strong *clench* relax and slooooowly release me from a lofty height of tense stress. It was BLISS. From that moment on, I was in a euphoric state of kitty chill and I think you just need those moments to recoup. It’s the balance. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty about relaxing. If you work hard, you deserve it.

I have Ruby’s birthday weekend to delight in for the rest of the weekend…and to be fair the babies have been wonderful. Their little faces are lit with glee. Ruby’s so happy to be six and Junior’s so happy to skank extra pressies, because it’s his sisters birthday and he’s the baby, so we can’t leave him out. Lol.

All sorts happened last week. ‘Fairytale Blond’ and I pissed ourselves laughing, as we ventured out to what I’d call ‘foreign lands,’ lands that I had never been a part of before to collect awards. TWO AWARDS. Lol. We won the lot! Yet, we had to ‘copper up’ to afford to buy booze, because they didn’t accept card and we didn’t have any cash on us. Well, we spent the cash on being charitable, which although lovely, and Little Miss Fairytale won Daffodil biscuits :)…kinda annoying when it comes to feeding my alcoholism. ‘Lady Shizzle’ who went with us, (I did vino with her, the red sort, before the event,) had to leave us to it, to journey home and dumped a handful of 20 pence pieces in my hand, which i was tremendously grateful for, as I could then afford a Sol. Lol. ‘Fairytale Blond’ got a CUPPA TEA at the pub before and then a JUICE Lol…at the event thing. I was filled up with wine, probably up to my little squinty kitten eye balls.

The rest of my chick friends, are all on ‘time of the month‘ vibes, so everything is all a little stressy or a littler tender. It’s delightful. It’s all hair extensions, blond bits and grumpy faces, with stress.

We’re all eating out of that FILTH DRAWER like desperate chimpanzees on the look out for….(Lol…sorry, just giggling at the time Firmonnell kept carrying around this banana with her, like her utter LIFE depended on it, like it was her weird BEST FRIEND. HAHAHA!)

‘Why do I constantly have this fucking banana in my hand?’

‘What’s that on my desk?’

‘Firmonnell’s banana!’

I am eating like a fat Oriental pig. It’s disgusting. I mean, you KNOW you’re not in Hollywood anymore, when you’ve gone out of your way to HIDE a fucking BACON SANDWICH from Greggs, in a drawer, that you can easily access, with one, left hand swing, if you fancied a bite. I’m not even left handed, so it’s my emergency arm.

I DID that!! That is what I have become! Waist trainer? I’ve probably eaten it, with a side of pork dumplings? 🙂

And there’s me thinking, ‘Ooh, I have a bunch of events and shoots that start in March, so I’ll get in shape, eat well and get skinny for them…’

Oh yeah, totally smashed that goal…

I mean I head to Manchester in Monday to go have a cheeky peeky behind the Social Chain walls. I snapchatted Steve…Steven Bartlett and asked if i could go…and he agreed. So I get to meet him to! Couldn’t be more excited for Monday! Can’t wait to meet everyone. Can’t wait to blog about it all….BUT I’M GONNA BE THE CHUBBY VERSION OF MYSELF. GREAT! I’m mean to be some crown wearing glamour puss for crying out loud!

I bet they don’t hide bacon sandwiches in drawers! No! They’re decent human beings….all creative and hard working….all….

I hope they have cocktails?

The funny thing about all this, is that when I made my Gino’s appearance, remember that blog….at the end of last year….I had made a bet at the Prosecco bar with House of Solo Magazine owner Abeiku Arthur….I had started watching Steve’s Vlogs every night and getting into them and then began Tweeting about how much I loved them. ‘House of Solo’ Abeiku Arthur then decided to Tweet Steve…and I correctly predicted that he wouldn’t get a reply, yet Steve would ‘like/favourite’ my Tweet.

What I didn’t tell you, was that I also predicted that I would be IN THAT OFFICE in a couple months. 🙂 Lol. AND *BOOM*….Monday, I check in!

Like, I said, I’m really excited. I can’t wait to tell you about my time there…I go on Monday and I even kept my Diary completely empty for Tuesday, whilst I’m still in Manchester, so that I can blog it all accurately…when it’s fresh….

Facebook Msg: (PE teacher from Malta) ‘Heeyyyyyyyyyyy, not out living the high life this evening? *Add kissy face emoji’s here.*

Whatsapp Msg: (London Business Man)

‘Your obviously too in demand these days x

It’s so bizarre, because both of those guys are from my ‘last year’ and they both decided against pairing up with  ‘Wunna land…’ I hadn’t spoken to them….Just got on with doing life….It all *zoomed* into the beginning of ‘dreams come true’ and then just like that, they’re back *tapping* on my Cyberland door. Both lovely humans. I wouldn’t date either of them. But they make good friends. Men must like women when they are headed to success? Well no…it either makes me more attractive to some OR makes other guys just feel defeated, like there would be no point in trying I’d never go for it….

But right now….I’ve got to go back and tend to organizing the rest of Ruby’s birthday weekend…

Love you all!

Chrissie

 

 

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All The Cock*****, Baby Jesus & Some Lovey Bits

Me: ‘Why are you mixing a witches potion…?’

Double B: ‘Why does the water cooler jacket smell like it’s been out for a cheeky cig?’

(Note, that’s actually much better than it’s natural smell of B.O.)

Utter ‘pissing ourselves’ occured…

Then ‘Double B’ follows up with a..

‘I need to go to Boots to get a scrub, my hands look like they’ve got gonorrhea. I have gonorrhea hands!’

(She had what I call ‘fake tan tiger hands.‘ But they still looked ‘bling.’ But yes, they needed a scrub. And even WORSE I got left having to mop up a bright blue floor. *Major Weeps* I’m a glamour puss. We should stick to our strengths in life. My forte is standing in cocktailed, spikey heels ON bright blue floors. I’m not blessed with the ability to MOP THEM UP effectively. *Wiggle…Wink.*Lots of swearing occurred at this point!)

Today was an easy day, where work was accomplished and it just sort of sorted itself out. I quite easily knuckled down and got on with it merrily. There was laughter, tears, and just a devastating amount of luxury biscuit scoffing. I even had to take my fucking waist trainer off to let the biscuits have a home. Get in my belly!

You do know Chrissie, that you’re only supposed to Waist Train for a couple of hours a day. Not 100 hours in one go.’

Fuck it, i’m an all or nothing girl.I’ll pour every inch of Wunna Land into everything, or do nothing with it at all. Lol.

It’s been making me grumpy and certainly ouchy. I’ve got scars and weird toilet habits now. But because it’s squashed my entire insides, I haven’t been able to eat properly at all, meaning i’m skinnier. Lol. Hurrah! Hurrah! Give me gin!

I popped that thing off privately, like Speedy Gonzales, in a frosted glassed windowed loo and then *breathed* for our Queen and Country. In the words of ‘Double B’…

‘Thank Baby Jesus and the orphans!”

I love Waist Training, but sometimes a girls godda kick back and eat a..

Mel: ‘Do you want some of my rice and curry for lunch?’

Me: ‘I can’t I’m waist training.

Mel: ‘Fine, I’ll just have to eat this big portion to myself then.’

Then we pissed ourselves laughing because ‘Firmonnell’ keeps getting a raw deal when it comes to the blog mentions.

‘Why am I the chick who has worms and privates that smell of fish!!!!!’

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Anyway, along with hard work, it seems love is in the air. Not for me. I told you, Cupid is a dick. But ‘Fairytale Blond’ is in the ‘steady away’ part of her relationship…where they’re doing the ‘looking for a house’ thing, yet it has to be fairytale perfect. She’s working hard and going through a lot of changes and will probably have twin boys because we’re forcing her to. (It’s part of the Fairytale.)

Mel’s swooning about with smiles and wine and tulips from Gary ..

Fairytale Blond: ‘Does that just happen why you’re older, cos I don’t get tulips!’

Me: ‘Don’t worry, I don’t either..’

Even Lynne (who’s in her sixties) after a bit of an office weep today, turned around and said,

You know, if I broke up with Tony, i’d never be able to start again, because there’s no one that could ever compare to my Tony.’

AWWWWWWWWWWWWW! HOW SWEET IS THAT!

‘My Tony.’

I want to feel that flourish! I want to wake up every single morning, look to my left (I always sleep on the right hand side now,) see the guy I’ve chosen to be with and say, ‘No one could ever compare to my….*whatever his name is…* Lol. I’ve ruined the moment haven’t I? I never thought i’d want that feeling so much, until I sat and saw her entire soul light up, having been with her husband since she was 17. She’s now sixty and you could see the love  that she had for him*oozing* from her like magic….even when she’s crying.

Now, I feel bad for saying *BLOW JOB, BLOW JOB, BLOW JOB* at her on repeat, whilst trying to describe a Valentines card poem, that I read. :

‘Yes Chrissie, I know what one of those is… I’m not that old!’

Mel pissed herself and went back in her cupboard.

Today I noticed how close we all were. We will literally tell each other everything.  We’re in this magical bubble that’s ‘just us’ and we can laugh, cry and swear at each other knowing that everything will be okay.

It was of those days were in which you just needed to add posh tapas and Sangria. (And maybe handsome Abercrombie and Fitch models.)

On the ‘entertainment’ front. I have a lot to be excited about. This Saturday I have an audition. I finally completely my interview questions for one of my favourite digital magazines. I woke up this morning to a Twitter DM from another editorial/magazine, (a big one) who told me that the editor would be getting in touch with me shortly, as they would like me to feature.

‘Can I have the cover?’

The great thing about each of these articles/editorials is that they couldn’t be MORE DIFFERENT from one another. They have very different audiences, they’re all doing really well… YET weirdly, I appeal to each one of them and their markets. Crazy isn’t it! And the tag lines to each of them are all quite ‘social’ yet all very different from the other. I’m excited for you to read them all. I can’t even believe how much my life is changing. If i do it well, I’ll champion 2017. I’m taking fruitful and somewhat glamorous baby steps.

‘You’ve got this on lock down right now girl!’

PLUS, I’m in the Spring Issue of ‘House of Solo’ magazine which you can pre order now. Its out next week! So I get to be all ‘high fashion’ at the same time. Even though i’m naked in it. Hurrah!

I’m looking forward to the events I have coming up and I have a few and also a bundle of ‘live blog’ spots that I’m going to be winking in, yet with wit, boobies, charm, love and intellect. After seeing all the pictures this morning, from the bloggers preview, that happened last night for the upcoming ‘Cocktail Experience,’ in Leeds, I couldn’t be more excited!!! I was excited anyway to be trying the finest, most creative concoctions in all the cocktaily land. I’m a cocktail SNOB. Don’t get it twisted. Shaken not stirred? I’m all ‘Shimmied with a hair toss, please.’

I know that some of you went to the preview last night and were wondering why I wasn’t there? Well, I never go to a preview of an EVENT. I’m there for the action, the show. It’s the atmosphere that gets my juices flowing. Plus, they’d prefer me to be at the actual event. 🙂 It IS something that I  do ask organisers.

Don’t get me wrong, for sneaky fashion previews…I’ll go and have a tinker. Yet events are all about THE NIGHT aren’t they. The prepping for it is stressy and jumbled and something like the Cocktail Experience is better for me to experience in the moment. I want to be around the bustle. The charm. The mood lighting. The fun. I might even take a Plus 1. IT COULD BE YOU! Sometimes bloggers get so caught up in the ‘going to the preview’ that they forget to have fun, live and write a decent, real blog, that’s filled with emotion and juice.

I’m not a review site. I’m simply a girl who tells the story of my life and that is all….I’ll do a moment of my life at your event, bar, office, in your world…And yes, i’m in a great position now, where people are filling up my inbox, with ‘come to ours’ emails…Yet their world is mixed in with my world..(like a cocktail) and that’s where the magic happens. I love it! And that’s what makes a good lifestyle ‘diary’ type blog.

I love that I had unfortunately *cropped* a picture today, so instead of it saying how much I was LOVING all the ‘Cocktail Experience’ preview pictures it read,

‘LOVING ALL THE COCK’

HAHAHAHAHA!

Obviously the story of my life.

I need to quit drinking red wine and listening to hip hop at the same time because it makes me do Wunna *tings* that get me into glamourous trouble!

*Take that rewind it back.*

(We learnt that the next bit was..

‘Lil Jon got the beat to make your booty go (clap) ‘)

Ryan in LA always used to say that red wine was my ‘truth serum.’ I wondered why he was always plying me with it! Lol. I need to stop, it’s making me feel foolish in the mornings.

Night kittens. x