Hormones, Dull Folk & I Just Don’t Like Festivals

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I’m feeling amazing today! I’m back on work mode and it feels good. It feels ‘OOoh Laaa.’ Yet, because i’m an old bird, I  was quite terribly knackered yesterday, after being blessed with  a really EARLY work wake up call. So, I just chilled and enjoyed family time, after a bit of picture taking and a rather important meeting. But I couldn’t keep my little kitten eyes open. I kept nodding off, like a granny, then shocking myself up. Lol. Only a Desperado could help me. 😉 (Any excuse, I know.!!! In case you DIDN’T KNOW A Desperado, is my favourite ‘slum it and chill’ go to drink.)

Yeeehah!

I’m in an updo today, and it’s great because it’s making me look like i’ve had botox.

(Snapchat Msg)

Chick friend: ‘You’ve properly stepped up your game Wunna! Your holiday pics and this whole Wunna Land blah, blah, is on fucking FIRE! You need a hose down.’

Me: ‘I’m getting there. I’m a long way off yet. But cheers, Baby boo. Hose down? Sounds rude. I think i’ll just have a 9am wine.’

Anyway, last night, I popped into a ‘Go Local’ in Ackworth to grab the Desperado and two ginger beers. (Love it there.) I’m craving ginger beers at the moment. And I  just love them because they remind me of my childhood. My dad and I would drink them and dance around to UB40 songs. A moment filled with love. 🙂 I get my drinking habits and my creative talent from my Pops. I don’t think he had a ginger beer though? His moves were too good. 🙂

Walked in. Saw the back of a guy, who looked moderately attractive. I only saw his back and his gym bum. But he had a Essex accent and was bantering out loud to the two middle aged ladies behind the counter. When he left, I slowly walked up an isle with a smile on my face…

Me: ‘Look at the state of you two! You’re beaming! Calm yourselves down! Hahaha!’

Lady: ‘Here you! Lol.  Just because we’re old doesn’t mean we can’t see a good thing, when it’s in front of us!’

Me: ‘You look love struck. Lol. I’ve never seen you so happy!’

Lady: ‘He’s moving down here….’

Me: ‘What? With his beautiful wife & kids? Haha.’

Lady: ‘Well SHE (points at the other cashier) definitely knows how to pull’em. She was stood there, chatting to the hottie, eating a bloody Shepherds pie! Hahaha!’

Me: ‘HAHAHAH. You couldn’t even BE any more northern if you tried.’

I mean, what is life without a bit of gravy on ya face, eh!

Anyway, the reason why i wanted to blog about that moment, was simply because it made my heart warm. It was so innocent and flirty and showed me that no matter how old, how young, sassy, quiet, how rich, poor, small or tall….a lady is..? She STILL always has that giggly little ‘playground’ girl inside of her… when it comes to boys.

It was such a cute moment. Glad, I destroyed it with by sick witty banter…and a ginger beer in my hand. 😉

Then I checked through the magazines,and papers, to see who had made all the covers.

Anyway, everything’s great! I’m really busy. The kids are back at school and i’m gonna miss having them around me all the time.

Being a ‘lone parent’ and raising them by myself, and having to work SO hard to give them a great great life, has always meant that I haven’t really ever had the option of just chilling. Y’know, what I mean, I never could just stay at home with them, mummy them, make teas, etc etc…. I never even managed to do that when I was wife…and that was ANY of the times, I was a wife. Lol. My life has just never given me that apple to munch on…However, it’s been wonderful.

I managed it all with happiness and I managed to be a NORMAL mum over their Easter holidays from school…(Well as normal as Wunna Land gets, because I did audition a lot and then fly to Spain and do days and days of pap shots.)  Bottom line, I love being with them and the cheeky little ‘Coconuts’ (which is what I call them) love it MADLY.

I sort of fantasize about times like that. I’m gonna miss them heading back to school…for about an hour. 😉 I’ll just swish back into work mode then and probably do it in stilettos.

I’m trying to tell you what’s going on work wise right now, but I because there’s just so so much, going on.  I have auditions zooming out my ear holes, a bunch of modeling gigs, i’ve had to turn down another trip to Spain, due to being ‘booked out,’ and turn down a show, because I didn’t think It was the right fit for me. It’s not something that I thought i’d enjoy….and I didn’t think i’d make much impact on a show of that sort. Well…no, i’d make impact, but not benefit from it AND…It involved a lot more of Wunna land than just me.

So I just said no.

But regardless, I’m back on the telly shortly (I again, can’t tell you anything about it yet) and I’m unfortunately eating everything in sight….when i’m meant to be on a Herbalife plan.

I’m blaming it on the ‘You only life once’ line, because I have to blame it on something, right? But if i’m honest, I kinda feel sexy anyway, whether I have a shake OR a burger in my hand…and I think that’s what confidence and VA VOOM IS!

Shaking‘ was and IS great because it kinda made me realize that I’m happy anyway…. Plus, I did lose weight for my Spanish snaps, which helped me out tremendously. So, I’ll be back ‘shaking’ shortly. yet because my schedule is about to get tighter and when you’re on the go, it’s absolutely brilliant.

No Faff. Easy Going. Just the way I like things.

I think i might have a wine to celebrate!

I also think, it must nearly be my ‘time of the month’ soon, because I’m going through THAT week, where in which EVERYTHING annoys me. Lol. (You’ll only get it, if you’re a girl.) People are really annoying me right now and i’m being much sharper, much sassier…much more uncensored. 🙂 I seem to have put down my ‘rosie tinteds’ for a decent set of RAGING hormones.

I’m quite ‘tell it how it is‘ ..of course with charm…by nature. If people can’t take a bit of banter or the odd home truth, then they’re not yet comfy in their own skin. Right now, i’m finding everyone quite…….What’s the word??

Dull?

I keep reading people’s posts and listening to conversations and thinking…

WHY BE SO DULLSVILLE? WAKE UP. ENJOY LIFE.

And the thing about ‘The Dull’ ones, is that they’re ALWAYS the first humans, to get their slow moving, ‘JUDGEY *never pointed at fun* FINGERS‘ out…. They’re all..

‘I’m too good for this./I’m too good for that./I would never this…I cannot believe that…/I am the most boring, unexciting human in the entire flipping land. Let’s buy tins of magnolia paint and just watch it dry upon already magnolia walls.’

Lighten up. Chill out. You don’t have to be wild. You just have to switch the beige mindset, for a better one that’s swirled in LIFE, COLOUR…OR EVEN JUST RUM?

YOU BORING SODS. (Can you tell i’m hormonal? Lol)

I love being a girl. We’re bonkers. Staying sane, is our official life goal.

My news feed got so frustrating that I started looking at all the ‘festival fever because it’s everywhere, isn’t it. It’s all gone ‘Coachella mad!

Now, Coachella.. at least looks fun. It looks sunny and alive.  I just NOT a BRITISH festival kinda girl. I’m not one to want to camp in a tent, wee in a plastic cup and refrain from showering for days… in the name of anything. I’m a glamour puss. And i’m not really bothered about having Unicorn hair, rainbow glitter on my face and adorning my arm with endless wristbands, that aren’t made of diamonds. 🙂

I’m a kitten, who enjoys a ‘cocktail and a wink,‘ and yes I can slum it. I love to chill more than anything. I mean, chilling is my favourite thing. If you have ever dated me, ever…you will know that about me.

I’m too old to ‘festival’ or camp about.

I mean, Glamping in the forest , in my giant mansion of a cabin was about as far as my camping skills go…and even that had to include a massage, a hot tub, room service and the option of an ‘in house’ chef. 😉

My chick friend even once stated that..

‘Camping to Chrissie, is like staying in the worst room in some Five Star Hotel.’

I love that! I’m not a dick. I just don’t like things to be a struggle during my down time. I work really hard, even though it may not look that way. I work really REALLY hard. ALL THE TIME. My work ethic is incredible. I’m fun but i’m professional and most successful people are, I reckon? I simply play it like it’s all a jiggle and a winkl…because that’s what my job needs to look like…

I just prefer calm, easy going peace, or quiet luxury…that comes ready made with love..Festivals are a Wunna Land ‘no go.’ None of this waiting in line for a shower… in a tented field, filled with ‘drama’ boys, and girls with Unicorn hair because i’ve  paid extra pences and booked ‘Vanity.’

I’ll pass…

So, yeah, I enjoy fun. But a festival is just not my cuppa…gin.

I don’t have anything else to say….I’m off to meet ‘Big A’ from ‘House of Solo’ Mag later I think….

I haven’t caught up with him in ages….

 

 

 

 

When the going gets tough…The tough do a Malbec….

Wow. Today got busy! One minute I was chilling by cake, discussing sex and homes with all the rooms blue and the next minute everything turned into  ‘boom…boom…rush…ring….stress..stress…need wine’ mode. It was almost as if, ALL the problems, ALL the questions, ALL the worries, in ALL the jiggly world, decided to shot out of a glittery nonsense canon and *FIRE* itself all over Fairytale Blond, Mel and I… in a second. Cheers life! You’re a dickhead.  I like to busy, Just as much as I enjoy a chill. However, I do not enjoy it as much when it *POPS* out of nowhere and shocks my system with a KAPOW….and I’M GOOD at *KAPOW* moments. But fuck it…Life is life. I need more excitement. At least Mel got extremely expensive mucky sex toys for her birthday from her beau and ‘Fairytale Blond’ still managed to *piggy ear* snapchat me a photo of the current state of our lives…whilst I was living it with her….MADLY.

I need a sunny holiday and 22 gallons of wine, poured into my mouth by hot Greek Gods in togas. NOW. I said NOW. I need someone to be my side ALWAYS, whilst stroking my hair, drawing on my back and telling me everything’s going to be alright. 🙂 I need less carbs in my diet and…have I said wine yet? Shit…yeah. Fuck. 🙁 I have a rich and fruity Malbec by my side, so all in all..I win.

In life right now, I don’t know where i’m headed? I’m headed in a rocket to the stars, don’t get me wrong..yet where it lands…I have no cluey??? All this stuff is going on, great stuff…things that could make Wunna Land even more WUNNAFUL…Yet, i’m right back in limbo…with choices and decisions. I don’t like limbo because i’m not a fence sitter. I’m a direct ‘get on it and go’ girl. I’m all or nothing. So you’ll only ever find me sat on a fence , unless there’s millions of pounds attached to it, or there’s an offer of a juicy pina colada on tap. I’m kind, yet i’m hardly a push over…so mulling around the decisions that have been frisbeed over to me, is difficult. (And i’m talking about work. I’m talking about the opportunities that being this apparent new blogging starlett are bringing me. I have lots of great work offers…and lots of great collaborations being presented, which I adore. Then there’s the cheeky human’s that think collaborations aren’t about BOTH PARTIES benefiting from the cause. That’s the art of the collabo. The concept isn’t that wacky. When it comes to love, i’m as soft as a fool. But when it comes to business, I’ll just look at you with a ‘What will I get out of this?’)

*Slurps the Malbec.*

I definitely need a jolly, drenched in peace ‘time out.’ A holiday. Away from everything stressy. Around all things calm. All my friends are at Coachella…and all of me..is absolutely at work. I’ve worked non stop this year so far and i’m finding that when you have what i call a snazzy ‘Social presence’ where everyone knows everything about you or what’s going on in your life…(and I DO LOVE THAT) you need a moment…a moment that’s just yours. I need to prioritize that more. And yes, I don’t tell you everything. I tell you what I want to tell you. But still. In the most positive manner ever…I kinda just want some time to blog like I did in the old days, when I could put anything I wanted, whenever I wanted, without a concern, a worry…and without the stress of having to be aware of brands or ‘the brand’….people…or…you get it. I’m rambling. I remember sitting on my West Hollywood balcony in the sun, on Kings Street, with my purple diary and a peppermint tea, writing out my life in PAGES. No one read it but me…and it as raw. It was truthful. That’s what I want this blog to be…AND IT WILL…Yet that little purple diary, that i left in a fucking supermarket by accident…is now a business. AS IF!!! Haha. I remember reading a bit of it after tequila, once in LA and crying because this boy called Ryan had stood me up and had a girlfriend that he forgot to tell me about. LOL. I’d made the room really romantic…and he fucked me over…just like that. Lol. What a dick! 🙂 We’re actually friends now…but only because he’s kicking himself in the hairy knacker drills. 😉 Becareful which girls you hurt, cos one day they may grow up to be Starlets! Lol.

*SLURPS THE MALBEC.*

I’m currently hunting for the finest representation all the land…and all it takes it someone who gets and understands and believes in WUNNA LAND…and pretty much knows what THEY’RE DOING, as they instruct and guide me forward and at the same time just lets me do what I want, whilst trusting me. 😉  It hasn’t been an easy hunt, as you can imagine. So If you know someone fabulous, Uber them to me. Immediately. (Shit, I need to email that guy to schedule the filming of my Vlog! You didn’t remind me. I’ll enjoy the Vlog…as I pretty much come from a reality tv background. Innit. I’m a showman. I’ll smash it. 🙂 I want to film it NOW!!)

I had stuff to say, but I kinda can’t remember it all now. Plus Baby Junior needs cuddles and I find that more delightful than rambling.

You it doesn’t matter what you decide to do in life, you can make the BIG TIME, if you just do it FUCKING WELL.

Give it your all! Go for it! Don’t sweat the small stuff and in the end….good things, great people and miraculous situations will come to you. It’s human nature. It’s written in the stars.

I’ve booked back in to see  the delightful Jack Parson’s in July. (Yourfeed UK.) And now also really excited to meet Paul Frampton of the Havas Media Group soon also!

I think i’m at Angelica Leeds tomorrow night also? Are you?

Follow me on Twitter @chrissiewunna