Girls Night, Back Bends & Things In Our Mouths

Image may contain: 1 person

Happy Monday! What a weekend! I’ve had a really busy time and I’m absolutely appreciating all the love that you’re sending my way. It honestly makes me *beam,* as quite frankly, it makes me feel like i’m doing my whole ‘shimmie’ well. So thank you for that!

I was meant to be on an early morning shoot this morning, yet it is chucking it down…raining like a beast…(not that ‘beasts’ rain?) So, due to ‘not very dandy’ picture taking conditions,’ the shoot has had to get postponed. Plus, jiggling outside.. with no top on, in the freezing rainy cold, may look glamourous once posted, however, believe me….IT WILL BE THE MOST UNGLAMOUROUSLY FREEZING TIME!

It also takes an army of people rushing around, throwing warm silver blanket things over me, whilst someone puts up a gazebo to make sure my hair doesn’t get wet and others are on shoe watch to make sure my heels don’t sink into mud. It’s that fussy. I once had to get CARRIED onto set, so my shoes didn’t ruin and then had to get re lipglossed, because I was chewing gum and they didn’t know. A lady had to remove the gum out of my mouth carefully, like it was some kind of ‘don’t touch the sides of my mouth’ game…and then re lip gloss me. Lol I’m not sure why I couldn’t have just spat it out myself…Yet, it was LA…and in LA, your gum will be removed for you.

So yeah, no shoot today.

I had an amazing weekend with the kids. Ruby had a ‘play date’ then we shopped until our kitten feet couldn’t take it. Junior was by my side like my trusty little soldier, lunching and laughing…and being treated to all kinds of ‘goodies.’  I’ve been going through a difficult time with the art of co parenting with his Dad Keiran. I usually co parent well, because i’m quite laid back. But Keiran and I are really different humans and every so often he attempts to get ‘narky’ with me, in order to feel a sense of control. Then remembers that i’m sassy, not his, the better parent and extremely sassy when it comes to the happiness of my baby boy. Every day i’m grateful that I have Junior…and I am extremely grateful that I am no longer married to his Father.

Yippppeeeeeeeeee!

(I’ve just remembered that I have a Skype audition at 3pm. Totally forgot. And if you’re in the same sort of position…know that one day you’ll meet someone who will make you realise why it didn’t work out with everyone else.)

Anyway, my schedules been busy and I haven’t really had much time with ‘the girls.’ Obviously, I tinkered into a new chapter and I no longer get to see them as often…So Saturday night was really great because we all went around to Mel’s or an at home, prosecco and nacho filled evening of ‘catch up,’ drinking  games, banter and love.

I always try and make time for the people that have my back, the people who I care about because I think it’s really important. We do everything for each other….and we’re all so different. I wrote about them daily last year and mainly because these girls are my truest chick besties…. I’m about to go through a very different thime…and something tells me…I’m gonna need them in order to ground Wunna Land and stop me from going insane.

You never go insane if you have good GOOD people around you, be they family, friends or lovers.

I don’t know what happened, but we drank. We drank loads. We’re drinkers.

It didn’t seem like we had drank too much, but once the games were out, the gossip had been exchanged. (Girls are girls, if we’re not talking about men, our sex lives,  life in general or other girls we know..be it in good favour or just for an evil  laugh..then it’s not normal.)

Here’s some conversation snippets…

‘He just never wants sex and i’m like, i need all the dicks…’

‘I love it because i’m not answerable to everyone… I can do what I want..’

‘She’ll do it when she’s ready…’

‘But honestly….how many pies?’

‘Pass me that wine bottle, so I can drink the last bits out the bottle.’

‘I really NEEDED tonight because Men are awful..’

‘Watch me do a back bend.’

‘I like your Vegan thing…I think it’s a good niche.’

‘Did I eat meat? I’m a Veggie? I can’t remember if I ate meat?’

‘But do you actually like anal?’

‘You really need to buy a rose gold bullet.’

Games were played. MORE DRINKS WERE CONSUMED..(and might I add in the poshest prosecco flutes ever. Mel’s a super great host! She really takes care of you, like a Mum…..That gets drunk. J )

We had a little go at ‘Speak Out,’ which I hate because I usually refuse to put something in my mouth that hasn’t been sterilised because I hate that it’s been in everyone else’s mouth. Lol. (There may be males from the past who disagree….LOL..But honestly, i’m a proper germaphobe.)

Me: ‘I can’t play that!’

Hustle: ‘It’s not been in anyones mouth.’

Then they didn’t even put me on a team, so I had to sit there, for no reason with this THING IN MY MOUTH, like a tool, just having normal conversation as they played ‘guess what i’m saying..’

Do know, that I am accidentally really good at drinking games. Everyone, including myself will think i’m going to be shit, because I never care, then something like ‘prosecco’ happens…and BOOM, i’ll win everything…LIKE BEER PONG....and then everyone wants me on their team.

Hahahahaha!

We were acting things out, slagging people off….drinking, drinking and then, after a moment of chatter with ‘Double B’ in the shed and sort of sauntered back in, sat down and Mel just looked at me and said,

‘Are you okay?’

‘No…I feel like I need to be sick..’

(I’m that pathetic.)

So being the ‘Hostest with the Mostest’ Mel finds a giant bowl. It’s all in flash back to me, so it appeared by magic…and I venture out into the garden, with my bowl…(It’s now pitch black)

‘I have to go outside. I can’t have you all watching me…’

And I puke in her washing up bowl and then venture back in filled with smiles, like nothing has happened and I might have won a Beauty Pagent en route, waltz straight through her patio doors gracefully and shout…

‘I’ve just done a massive sick…LOOK!’

Mel: ‘You’ve puked up everything you’ve ‘et’

They’re all pissed, so they find it funny for a second and then just get on with life like a washing up bowl of sick was ‘the norm.’

I felt much better and MEL, again the ‘Hostest with the Mostest’…takes my bowl of sick from me ..and just like that it magically disappears.

Then we talked sex, around a kitchen table…and ‘Fairytale’ decided to do all this back bends in front of an oven. I’m too old to do back bends…Plus, they terrify me because, well…that’s how I ended up having Ruby. J Back bends at Park Plaza, Leeds. (All my children were conceived in hotel rooms. Hahah.  Junior’s was the most grandest, executive ‘four poster bed’ suite at Oulton Hall. Lol. Why am I even telling you this? Whatever…it’s just life. I’m sure you’ve got up to similar.)

Just the most brilliant night, with the girls I hold closest. You should always try and make time for the people who actually make the effort to make time for you. That way you’ll never be alone…and always have true friendship a phone call, or a whatsapp message away.

Felt like shit all Sunday and you know you feel rough when all you can stomach for lunch is a Vimto Slushy.

They all felt shite.

Double’s B Boyfriend was so lovely. He drive every single one of us home, to our doorsteps, to make sure we got home safe. Double B almost puked in a bag and i fell asleep in the back.

Fairytale: ‘Why have we dropped Hustle off first. I was two stops away and now we’re in LEEDS. I could’ve been in bed right now.’

I got out the car and strutted to my door step, as ‘Double B’s’ boyfriends ‘J’ wound down his window and said,

‘Where you going??’

Me: ‘This way…’

Such a fun time….Life is there to be enjoyed.

Enjoy it!

I’m off to go meet ‘Firmonnell’ now. She’s my chick bestie and well couldn’t make it to ‘Girls Night’ on Saturday.

I actually better go..I’ve got to be there at 10.30am…

Love you,

Chrissie x

Ps/ Follow all my ‘socials’ for behind the scenes ‘Wunna Land’ vibes.

Robot Husbands, Sex & Miracles..

Image may contain: 1 person, standing, selfie, phone and close-up

Today has been one of those ‘miracle‘ kinda days. I haven’t been able to believe the luck that i’ve had, but i’ve been so grateful for it. I was little galloping around, doing *happy* dances, to no music and total strangers…who definitely now think i’m a lunatic.

I kinda started being positive, after a couple days of feeling worried (cos we do get worried don’t we?) Yet, just like magic, with a *wangle* of a wand and a little bit of a *wink*CONSECUTIVELY amazing things just started to happen….one at a time…ALL morning and hopefully. I even had a prosecco and let my eyes ‘fill up’ a little with glee.

Things aren’t always shit. Remember that. So if you’re going through a case of ‘da blues’ and I really hope you’re not…always remember it IS TEMPORARY. 

You’ve got a whole life to live and no one to answer to.

LIVE IT!

So, I’ve got a lot of shoots lined up and it’s all really exciting. I’m writing. I’m loving the blog and well i’m a ‘show girl’ at heart, meaning shoots are my forte. I love them. I live them…I just find it really fun.

(Hang on a second…I’ve just sat on a pocket rock. No…not a ‘pocket rocket,..’ 😉 that’s a whole different blog post… Junior..The littlest Wunna in all the land…my 4 year old son…Well, he gave every WUNNA in the family a rock , a stone each. They’re ones that he had found on his journies of being Junior. We all actually carry a rock around with us, at ALL times for good luck…I’ve just sat on mine. It’s jiggery jaggery and it KILLS!) 

This morning, I posted a whole bunch of photos and a video on all my ‘socials’ on me waking up…I’m not gonna lie. I did film it yesterday to post out today. I even sent it to someone last night before it went ‘live.’ Lol.

Image may contain: one or more people and close-up Image may contain: 1 person, smiling, selfie, phone, indoor and close-up

Image may contain: 1 person, selfie Image may contain: 1 person, selfie, phone and indoor

Anyway, before 11am (it’s now noon) on my Facebook Fanpage the video had 13,000 views. And the thing that’s been so hilarious about the video is the simple fact that it weirdly shocked people?

I post a lot of pictures…sexy ones…because they’re MY favourite. I post them…People seem to like them, they certainly engage with them and I spend my entire day replying to comments (mainly to gents) around the merry world.

I put my pictures up first and the viewers of Wunna Land, went ahead and ‘liked‘…they ‘commented…’ they ‘engaged.’ It’s always pretty fast on my Facebook..almost like fire….which leads them to a ‘click’ onto my diary, this website…so they can find out more.

But as I posted my video, it was like everything *paused* for a second…Everyone tucked their ‘willies’ back in… put on their Sunday bests, got terrified, realized that I AM actually a REAL LIFE human. and not just a picture on their news feed, or a paragraph on a blog post, that they ‘maybe’ place as some kind of ‘social fantasy….’ (Hahaha. Listen to me talking about myself like i’m some kinda Queen of the world 😉 )

…AND THEY PANICKED.

It all became very real, very quickly…and my inbox has been inundated with the weirdest messages, from people who were shocked that i’m real???

I’M SO CONFUSED?

Who’dya think writes this blog? Lol

I post my own selfies…IT IS ME?

I just thought everyone was going to adore me…Lol…Yet, everyone was more shocked, than anything. And the video’s just morning ‘wake up and stretch’ video? It’s chilled. It’s glamourous. It’s me. (It’s also on my ‘Instagram’ so you can go see it there. 🙂 🙂 Follow me too, because growing an instagram following is harder than...(‘I’ll let you fill in something hard, I can’t think of anything right now…’

But yes, record straight. I’m actually a real life person. I know! How scary! No ones even talking to me today on ‘Insta’...like Twitter…. I’ll just have to wait until the American’s wake up and throw me some..

‘Hey Honey, Love the pics.’

I don’t really have anything else to say, other than the fact that you should totally believe in miracles. I’ve had the most remarkable morning. Eat clean. I’ve been eating ‘fresher than fresh’ and it has served my body delightfully. It’s the cleanest, sexiest rush of goodness. I’m glowing.

I’m also getting really worried because y’know I told you about that woman who married the ghost pirate because he didn’t believe she would ever find a good man….Well, last week i read an article that Robot Husbands were going on sale, so we can purchase and program our futures as women.

Now, I love all social development and I adore the amazing things that the world delivers,

YET, LET’S NOT BE IDIOTS.

Let’s find our *SWAG* a second. (Yes guys, there’s Robot Wives also.)

Surely everyone knows that love isn’t about robots and programming? Surely everyone believes that in the end, they’ll find their perfect match.It’s all about fate, timing and true love. Some find it faster than others…but it’s definitely not a race. Surely everyone in the world is NOT THAT LONELY!!!

I mean can you imagine ME, in my flipping living room listening to some Robot Husband, that i’ve had to get dressed and plonk on some chair, telling me that he ‘loves’ me, whilst we enjoy a homemade skinny cocktail together and watch ‘Dancing on Ice,’ as the kids look at me like i’ve finally COMPLETELY LOST THE PLOT. I mean they’re already like..

Ruby: ‘Can’t wait until I’m married and move to LA, so you don’t moan at me for not going to bed on time.. When are we gonna have a proper family…’

Junior: ‘If you ever get a Prince…Like a real daddy…don’t let him touch your boobs, cos they’re mine.’

And then even worst….when it comes to the ‘nookie’ part of the relationship…The part that as a 37 year old I actually adore. I’m sensual by nature…

CAN YOU IMAGINE ME, HAVING TO UNDRESS MY BLOODY ROBOT, DO SEXY EYES AND BECKONS AT HIM, (whilst he just sits there spewing out his..‘yeah baby you’re hot’ lines that i’ve programmed into him

… AND THEN HAVING TO CLAMBER ON TOP OF HIM FOR SEX. YES WITH MY REAL LIFE ROBOT HUSBAND…

WHAT THE ACTUAL…

Wunna land says it’s a no go….

I even had a conversation with my chick friend ‘Jilly G’ about it..

Jilly G: ‘It’s just like a man shaped dildo.’

Me: ‘No it’s fucking not. It’s not a dildo AT ALL. It has eyes. Creepy ROBOT EYES. My dildo’s don’t have eyes? Do yours?

Jilly G: ‘No..Lol..They don’t speak either..’

Me: ‘Oh? I might have one that speaks? Haha.’

Bottom line…I’ll wait it out, marry a ghost pirate, order 100 cats and cry myself to sleep before I EVER INVEST IN A ROBOT HUSBAND.

Love you,

Chrissie x

 

Image may contain: 1 person, standing, selfie and phone

 

 

 

 

In the Name of James…

I’m back! Sorry! I’ve been so busy working. Luckily towards the end of the year, it all pans out beautifully and I will finally be able to delight in having more time to do what I love…which is to tell my story…and blog!

I don’t even know where I ended up last. But since then my fabulous gay friend Liam ended up on my telly and I watched him tinker his looks on ‘Body Fixers’ on E4, to change a look that the masses believed resembled ‘Alan Carr’ to just ‘Being Liam.’ The thing about Liam (and I am quite close to him) is that he is a really talented entertainer. He plays it down well. But when I once went to watch him do his Cabaret type shimmies in Blackpool, I was astounded at how talented an entertainer he actually is. I guess, it’s always a surprise when people play things down. But as we know. I adore a talented human. It doesn’t matter what they do, I’m delighted by talented beings.

Anyway, on Monday, he invited me down to Viva Blackpool to be part of raising awareness and raising funds for the James Bulger Memorial Trust. It’s a charity really close to my heart, as being a Mum…I honestly can’t imagine how Denise (who is the mother of little James Bulger,) not only stays so strong, yet has managed to turn her personal experience, that the ENTIRE world would regards as heart breakingly tragic, into something so selfless and positive, in order to help others who may go through the same. I met Denise that night and she beamed at me with a smile and a warmth that was nothing short of true compassion and strength. It was such an honour. It was humbling.

The event was star studded! I’m a huge music fan. I’m a huge musical theatre fan also. So a gigantic show was put on, filled with the most heart racing talent…I mean I watched Lydia Lucy from The Voice (words cannot even describe how amazing her voice is), Connor Mckenna from Pitch Battle, Gary Barker who is currently on this years XFactor and The Jersey Boys, who you can’t help but fancy…You couldn’t even pick one NOT TO FANCY! Those boys can harmonize around me ANYTIME, in those fitted red blazers and squeezy tight dress trousers.  It was just a star studded swirl of Viva magic…Dinner, drinks…and an ambience that sizzled with life, love and sequins. (I totally had Pina Coladas. It felt very Pina Coladary.)

Anyway, the trek to Blackpool (even though I’m Northern) seems quite lengthy, it took hours. But I ended up getting there in time, working out on the promenade and dolling up to glamour puss in it in the name of James Bulger.

I was meeting Lisa (as in Appleton) there, who I’ve known for quite a long time now. In 2009, we were on TV shows at the same time, so we also know the same people. (We all did the circuit at that time) I am actually really good friends with Rex who was trapped in the Big Brother House with her during that time.

Her tyre busted en route to the event, so she ended up being late, so I totally stole her room at the New Osbourne, which was beautiful and laden with fluffy fresh sheets, champagne and a teddy bear! I know! How cute. I love it there. The service is impeccable. I’m a service girl. 😉

But when she arrived, and ‘Aaron the Pap’ had *papped* away during our entrance, we had the best time ever.

Image may contain: 4 people, people smiling, people standing and indoor

We’re both Northern, we both know fun and how to have it,  we’re both the type of gals who see life as the ‘big picture.’ I remember speaking to her in the loos, as she produced a sassy bottle of cider from her handbag. (You know you’re northern when that happens.) Infact she chose the size of her handbag based upon it’s ability to hold cider. Lol. Anyway, the thing about Lisa is that she’ll talk about anything openly and I love that about her. She’s a really good soul and a person that never takes advantage of anyone. She’s giving. She gentle. But certainly not a push over. I like her a lot…and she delights in my glamorous HONESTY. 🙂 I had some of that cider and laughed along with her. I mean, a lot of people say a lot about her. She’s in the press almost every day. Yet when she’s 80, she’ll be able to look back upon her time and laugh, knowing that she lived and that she had the best time on Earth ever.

Liam, Lisa & Ryan Mira (who is her PR,) infact the lot of them…all shimmied off to ‘Peek a Boo’s’ after the event for a night of absolute ‘Drag Queen ‘ debauchery. I love a Queen. I used to ‘Piggy Back’ them outside The Abbey in LA, in my 20’s. Useful form of transport really. I was dating one of the bartenders at the time…and it was strange because my ‘Queen’ transport fancied him too. Lol. My transport secretly hated me. I thought she was a bit whippy around the corners.

As per usual, like everyone does, they tried to make me ‘Peek a Boo’ it with them, with a ‘We’re only going to be another hour, come on!’ (I’m lame now. I love to do cocktails etc and wink the night in luxury and glamourousity…But I don’t stay out. I like to go home, go back to the hotel and just go to bed or chill. Lol. I’m awful for it. Even my friends know…Once i’m done…and it’ll always be earlier than everyone else…I’ll just leave to put my comfies on.  Haha.)

Yet away from that, I’m so wise to the ‘we’re only gunna be’ line, that I should have it embroided onto my frillies.

Straight away I called my own taxi back to The New Osborne, because I knew I had a really early start in the morning and had to be up and on a six o clock train to Leeds for work. I went to bed around midnight….Snapchatted everything. Set my alarm for five o clock in the morning….(I kinda woke up every hour and didn’t sleep that well. But you do don’t you, when you know you’re away from home and need to be somewhere early. When you need to catch trains and all that jizzle.)

AAAANNNNNYWAY….Team ‘We’re only going to be an hour’ ROCKED BACK TO THE HOTEL at FIVE O CLOCK IN THE MORNING, as my ALARM went off for ‘Wake Up.’

It actually sounded like they had the best time…They were laughing out loud and I was sliding out of my fluffy sheets with this random teddy bear, to get showered and do my face, after a nights sleep.

I was at the station and on the train as soon as their heads hit a pillow. Ofcourse my train got cancelled and I had to get on the 7.11am one instead, so I just sat, on my own, at a train station in Blackpool at six o clock in the morning chilling….

By 9am, I was back in Leeds and off to work. Lol.

I actually scrolled through Twitter quickly and saw that we were in The Mirror… and infact the Daily Star…

Image may contain: 2 people, people smiling, people standing and text Image may contain: 2 people

Great times! Good fun! Amazing people. And more than anything, an evening dedicated to such an important and such a good good cause, the James Bulger Memorial Trust!

My heart honestly goes out to all Mums, children and families, who are going through or have been through the same….There was a lot of talent there and the place was celeb packed, but what an absolute honour to meet Denise Fergus, (James’ Mum) who couldn’t be a more positive soul. Watching her strength, gives you an immediate reality check and inspires you to reunite with your own inner Hero.

 

 

Inboxes, Romance & Donkies…

So, i’ve got a calendar shoot, an audition to present a music show for MTV, i’m contracted to a traditionally well known enterprise for a bunch of glamour shoots, i’m on a show that airs next year, I have a few snazzy brands that have ever so kindly asked me to blog for them and i’m currently writing my book.

I’m doing all this whilst working constantly and being a mum…but i’m loving it because something feels right this time around. Something just feels right….

Mentor: ‘How do ya know you’re about to set fire to the place?’

Me: ‘…because this time…I can feel it. It’s not a dream anymore…I can feel it.’

‘Firmonnell’s’ just text me a picture of my girl crush…who if you didn’t know is Ellen DeGeneres. Lol. It really is! If I was a lesbian…The only woman I would ever want to date is Ellen. I love her, that much. I don’t even know how her sending me a picture of Ellen even occured, as I’ve kinda just forced Firmonnell (who’s pretty much one of my best chick friends) to read an extract of my book, to make sure it’s not ‘too much.’

Firmonnell: ‘OMG, just read your extracts and fucking laughed out loud. It’s fucking hilarious. Love it!’

Me: ‘…but is it too much, because i’m really open, so to me it’s fine, yet I don’t know how other people will react to it?’

Firmonnell: ‘I think anyone would see the funny side to that! Honestly…it’s great.’

And she wouldn’t lie to me, because she’s a bitch like that. One of those good friends. However, Mel did make me a lasagne for my lunch today and I adore her for it, as LORD KNOWS how anyone can figure out how to make a lasagne…So technically, they’re in competition to be my bestie. Lol. It’s getting tight. They’re both too great. Approach me with honesty or pasta and you’re onto a winner. I’m that easy.

I’ve also got to film the advert for my blog…I’m setting the dates for it now and I have to shoot for the website also…There’s just so much, but i’m really grateful for it all and really excited. Everything is changing and it’s weird because the more everything changes, the more I keep flash backing to my LA days.

They say that when you ‘flash back,’ like when you hear a song that suddenly reminds you of something in the past…it hasn’t got anything to do with a THOUGHT (it’s not a mental process) and  instead apparently has EVERYTHING to do with how something made you FEEL. So when something happens…like for example, I received a personal message today…It wasn’t a good message, it was a shit one…but immediately within seconds…my mind shot back to a past memory that made me FEEL the exact same way. It’s crazy how life works…and how the past triggers back in little blurs. What i’m good at is moving forward. I’ll have a moment, privately and then i’ll decide to not dwell on it and keep on merrily moving. 😉 I don’t bottle things up, which makes me healthy, I’m expressive, I let it all out. In fact, have for years and you’ve been following it. Writing this blog, even when it was simply on Myspace and it didn’t have a home…has always been my therapy.

LA Friend: ‘Remember that time on Sunset when you went to see that psychic for a laugh and you thought she was a weirdo…’

Me: ‘Yeah, she was weird…I didn’t like her at all. She tried to make me sing for her, for no reason…’

LA Friend: ‘Well she TOLD YOU that you would end up writing something for a living that would be HUGE and take the world by…’

Me: ‘I DO remember that. I know that. I was there. I was just modelling at the time, so i couldn’t imagine it…But yeah, I remember everything…I remember that exact moment… ‘

LA Friend: ‘Do you remember walking down Hollywood Blvd, drinking Malibu out the bottle, telling Catwoman to not be a druggie and stalking that weird break dancer with me..Lol.’

Me: ‘I remember everything. Haha. Kinda makes me glad that i’ve balanced all that shit out with a bit of Yorkshire. 🙂 ‘

I’ve kinda had a good night as I’ve been chatting to a whole bunch of my friends and simply reminiscing. I love a good tinker down memory, yet i’m not ready to delve into it all just yet. I’ll save that for when i’m 80 years old, when that’s all i have left…I’ve still got a lot of life to live, a lot to look forward to, work, love…family…the works. I’m excited for what lies ahead, in ALL OF those areas…So right now, the past is the past and even though i’ve had a colourful one (and I don’t regret any of it, as it established who I am today,) more than anything, i’m enjoying right now and looking forward to the future.

One of my chick friends scrolled through my Facebook Inbox this evening just to see what some of you were saying…and I guess, knowing me personally, she was SHOCKED at how men approached me.

‘It’s like they don’t know you at all?’

‘Well they don’t. They just see a picture of me or follow a social profile and think they do… Then they guess how i am and get it wrong…But i’m not bothered because…’

‘You’re not bothered because you’re all a flutter about *The Swirl.’

‘I don’t feel fluttery. I feel pretty stable.’

I guess what people don’t imagine or don’t know is that i’m a hopeless romantic and I adore a romantic partner…so whilst men believe that filling a girls inbox with pictures of genitals etc will work in the art of ‘the pull,’ when it comes to me…it never ever will. I’m a romantic girl, but my romance is dashed in fun.

Yeah, I may have dated a lot in my past and been married three times, but each time I did marry and all three men are completely DIFFERENT to one another….they had ONE THING IN COMMON and that ONE THING was that they approached me romantically. I must like that…

Yet like my friend said, right now my heart is all about ‘The Swirl.’ (I’m rubbish like that. Lol I just have a one track mind. It’s hilarious.) But like I’ve said to him…I’m quite embarrassing, yet ah well, i just wear my hear on my sleeve. There’s nothing wrong with that in my book…

Talking about books, my old LA roommate sent me a message today saying..

‘Please don’t tell the story of the donkey porn…I’ll die…’

‘You mean that time I went through all your drawers for no reason, after you had had sex with that random Farrah girl and found your secret stash of Animal porn. 🙂 ‘

‘Fuck it…Tell the story. It’s hilarious. But give me a good nickname.’

‘You have to earn a good nickname dude. LOL.’

And just like that, it went out globally… 😉

Love you all,

Thank you for following my life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Saturday, Leeds Games & Glamourous Trumping

Me: ‘But sex is a big part of  relationship…’

Chica: ‘Yeah but he’s rubbish at it…’

(Sips Cocktail)

Me: ‘Yes, but have you only had sex once…because sometimes it takes a few goes, to get in line with each others ooh laa…?’

Chica: ‘No…it’s just awkward and not in sync. I’m doing these bedroom faces that aren’t true to his work..?’

Me: ‘HAHAHAHAH! Are you good at sex though? As I reckon loads of girls must be shit at sex, because so many men are always on the look out for it. They take really good ‘i’m good at sex’ selfies, but are shit when it comes to the art of it all. Show him what to do?’

Chica: ‘Show him what to do? He’s a grown ass man. Plus, i’m too shy…’

Me: ‘If you’re shy with the man you fancy in the bedroom, then you’re shit at sex.. There’s only you and him there…It’s not like i’m watching on and judging your thrusts??? Lol.’

Then to our disgrace a guy in a group of boys, who were at the bar also watching last night’s Leeds game does the LOUDEST, most GIANT TRUMP, in the history of the world ever…HAHAHAH….Properly.. with no shame, he just lets it blow. It shattered the mirror of stress, everyone paused and then with ‘throw head back’ smiles, laughter burst through the airs…It didn’t even smell of egg….Kinda smelt like Jean Paul Gautier. Impressive.

Random Guy: ‘Steady on Paul! FUCKS SAKE!’

I love trumps when people don’t care. Hahahaha!

Leeds won. Life was great. I admire my friend Kate’s new kitten hair. I had spent the whole day with the children at the fair in Doncaster. (If you didn’t know, Doncaster is my home town…I go there a lot, so The Wunna Babies and I are a hit down at the old Frenchgate. Lol)

They fun housed, rode motorbikes, hooked ducks and then won fucking fish. IF YOU’RE A PARENT….you get how awful this is! We already have a NEW KITTEN. I’m like flipping Noah’s Arc or something? How can I go from nothing, to a kitten and  fish in days!! Then I had carry these fish around in a tank, with people awwing at me, a security man following me, two bags of Lush bath bombs, 2 bags of books from Waterstones, a bloody whistle, emoji cookies and with my hair stuck on my freshly lip glossed lips. Devastating. It should be a children’s book..‘When Mummy is a glamour puss and had to carry your shit home.’ 

I couldn’t take it any more and demanded that we go to Ego for new steak sandwiches and 2 for 1 cocktails. We’ve had lunch there about 4 times this week. To be honest, at the request of Ruby. Yesterday…I needed Ego and I smashed that salted rimmed margarita like a champion, as Junior made me a car with sparkles on, which looked like a clay poo with sequins and brought me a tiny buttercup. I love the ‘Arts & Craft’ table at the restaurant….You’re kids can make clay things, as you recover and drink wine. It’s creative and educational…honest! 😉

Long, but great day! Ruby decided to be a lawyer and Junior decided that be wanted to play football just so he could kick a ball into my boobies all day?  He laughed about it for about 3 hours. (I’m doing everything with a kitten in my arms.)

I then got home, striped down to my bra and frillies, chilled and sent a message to the guy that I ‘heart’ and the world swirled down to a happy magical ending, as day turned to night…and Saturday turned ‘lights out.’

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Business, Bloggers & Dual Action W******

I’ve ‘quadroupley’ booked myself out. No! That’s a lie. I’ve ‘booked’ myself out six times, in one go. No SEVEN! And yes, that sounds great because it means you’re all glamourous, you’re doing well and popularity is tickling at your tender kitten toes. HOWEVER, it’s a little more complex than that! I mean,  HOW the absolute jolly BALLS am I going to be in or at SEVEN DIFFERENT PLACES, all across the nation AT ONCE??? It’s humanly impossible and certainly my own daft fault. Ofcourse! Yet, I don’t think boobies, cocktails shakes or charm is going to get me out of my predicament and more than anything that curdles away at my glittery soul. My charm should ALWAYS WORK, even when i’m dead. (And no, I’m not going to have a glamourous death. I’m just going to be 100 years old exactly, take a kip and rest peacefully. Knowing my luck, I’ll be tootling along, in my leopard print faux fur, on my granny mobile, in sunglasses at 100 years old, with a rum in my hand and some Morris Minor will come and run me over, outside a newsagents or something? My LA guy friend Ryan once said that i’d die by being ‘Savaged by Thieves!’ Lord knows why it thought it would be that exciting? I can’t even ‘book’ myself out appropriately for a weekend, let alone let thieves savage me to my death.)

Why am I talking about death, before 7am?

ANYWAY! Let’s get cheery!

So, yes this weekend i’ve said YES to everything, managed to get all my dates a muddled and now SEVEN DIFFERENT PLACES are expecting me to show up, this weekend. IT IS THAT BUSY!

I’m doing really well and people are ‘signing me up’ left, right and centre, to sexily tinker down to their event, new bar, office or restaurant, literally EVERYWHERE, where one can ‘Socialite’ to deliver my dainty little view of life from their glitzy venue. (This is definitely because I went to Gino D’Acampo’s new joint and didn’t wear knickers on the glass floor. It’s pushed me up that lofty ladder of ‘popularity’ overnight. Lol Now everyone wants me on their glass floors in bars. 🙂 )

But from a real point of view. It’s a really exciting time for me, i’ve worked really hard for this, I’m going for it. I’m feeling SASSY, ON FIRE, UNSTOPPABLE and moderately invincible. I kinda feel like I am the Queen  of ALL KITTENS. Y’know, totally ‘sought after’ now. The word on the street, via other infamous and rather successful beings in the same field or media is that….

‘Chrissie’s smashed this personal brand/influencer thing down this year.. She picked up the ball and ran with it…’

So there you have it, it’s amazing what a little bit of glamourous street game, a blog, the ability to express via written word, a rummy soul, a case of candid banter, good humour, boobies and a lifestyle can do! I’m not scared of it anymore. More than anything, I’m feeling at my most powerful and it’s only just the beginning. I have lots planned and i’m GOING FOR IT. So strap in… (I love it when i feel like this, it makes me want to bathe in champagne like a ‘Girl Boss’ and shout at people for no reason.)

But… honestly I can’t organise myself for shit. Lol. How am I going to be in SEVEN places at once. This isn’t including my normal ‘non worky’ social commitments. Unfortunately, they get put on the back burner. Lol. Such a great friend. But at the end of the day, you have one shot to grab a bit of ‘opportunity’ and if you drop the ball…well….you lose. The people that care about you, love you, understand what you’re going through, I think you’ll find will always be there.You’ll be in a mad rush, or battling your career, but you’ll pause weeks later, look to your right and their still there, smiling, supporting you and letting you know that everything’s okay.

I’ll sort it all out. I just need to prioritize and get my ‘rejiggle’ on. My guy best friend Theo, who I grew up with in LA, (he’s an actor, model and has created his own TV show. I Know.) Well, he’s coming to London, all the way from LA to see me this weekend, whilst he’s en route to Madrid, so he get’s a priority ‘tick.’ PLUS, I’ve missed him being my bestie. I’ve missed all my LA besties. Yet Theo takes the biscuit! He’s the only male human (and yes he is gay, but buff as hell) to THROW ME OFF HIS ACTUAL ASS IN A GYM, so he could lean on a counter and other gents could ADMIRE HIS BOOTY. Not sure why I was sat on his ass now?

But Theo and I have been through a lot together. In LA it’s hard to ‘make it’ but we did, we’re doing it. And that’s something you kinda treasure in your careers. No one can take that away from you.

Theo: ‘Just ignore her….she’s crying over a penis.’

That was his quote the time we both ended up following boys to other States of America because we thought they loved us. I went from LA to New York, for some hideous boy named ‘Tommy’ and He went from LA to …where the fuck did he go? Florida?? I dunno? But yeah, for some other hideous boy…named ‘Eric.’

We both ended up homeless and had to get flights back to Los Angeles immediately. Hilarious. It was all in the name of love. 🙂 Theo is the most manly gay man you will ever meet. He’s a DIVA, but he knows how to take care of you. Lol.

Can’t wait to see him.

Other than that, I have the British Style Collective in Liverpool, three restaurants, Issho, Leeds, Manchester…..and London….fuck! Just lots.

It’s not the busy part that catches me out. I thrive on it all as it’s exciting and fun. I just hate organizing the busy part. I just like to show up and do my thang…and do it well.

As if I’m Social Media’s Favourite (Kitten Esque ) IT Girl!

I’m accidentally building an empire via just being ME and writing about it. I must have learnt more off ‘Hilton’ than I thought! 😉

Anyway, I’ve godda go. I’m sat in Flamingo Sheets writing this with no bra on.. before work starts. I have ‘droopy boob’ fear.

I forgot to tell you, but I was The Carleton the other evening and ran into my old school friend Kate. We went through our entire schooling lives together at the private school in Ackworth…and as we were sat around a table, was the stars shone down on us and ‘Harrys Mum’ was feeling down trodden because her husband had cheated on her, ran off with the other woman and left her holding the baby. She was quite upset about it emotionally, because obviously, it’s not an easy thing to go through and it’s fresh. Breakups are always hard on the heart, when they’re fresh….Yet you do always end up finding the girl or guy of your dreams in the end….

So in her moment of desperate need and support….Kate turns around, completely ignores what she’s saying, fights over who is drinking who’s wine and says…

‘Wouldn’t it be great if all guy’s penises, were like dual action cigarettes and you could just CLICK a button on the side and all of sudden their cum would just taste of mentol, or strawberries.’

HAHAHAHAHA! I love my friends!

I honestly know the best humans!

Ps/ Go check out  one of my close LA besties Theo Breaux!

 

 

 

 

Love, Life & Hero’s

I’ve had a really great day. Yeah, gosh there were parts that felt extremely looong, (and you know I hate ‘loooong’ anything. Be it stories….queues…..I even don’t get why sausage dogs are long? They creep me out.) Yet after a *blast* of ‘sat next to each other‘ sarcastic banter with my deliciously darling chick friend Firmonnell….and I LOVE A GOOD DASH OF BANTER, my faith in life, good friends and good times was not only restored, but heightened. (We’ve planned ‘doing drinking’ when everyone does worky social things. Lol)

‘I should be due on soon?’

‘I should be too? But i’m not..’

Firmonnell is utter GREATNESS when it comes to girl banter because I can…well WE CAN …HONESTLY rip each other, everyone else and the world to absolute hysterical, glittery shreds, in the name of absolute good humour, without a single censor and you need that, otherwise everything’s all ‘fakey’ and ‘smiley’ and not very hilarious at all. You know you are good friends or lovers ( I look for that in guys when it comes to romance) when you can handle a good old banter see saw! She can say whatever she wants and I will never judge her. I can literally say WHATEVER I want…and she will be the last human on Earth to judge me. That’s what I adore about her.

Yet saying that, I’m astounding LUCKY because all of us girls, in The Wunna Land circle are so SO close…yet ALL SO entirely different…that we just get along swimmingly. There’s a lot of real love between us. We’ve laughed together, we’ve cried together, we’ve lied for each other. 🙂 And it’s having that wonderful circle of genuine support that not only keeps me grounded, as do note, that I am going through a bit of a showbizzy time right now. I have a lot of dazzling’ bits and bobs’ a going on…and I feel really lucky. Yet having the girls around me every day, makes me focus on the things that matter..and not get lost in a egotistical flare of ‘look at me’ idiocy.

I’m a REALLY confident girl. An honest girl. A sassy one, yes, but a warm one. I’m tender. I’m fun. I’m kind. I’m not a dick. 🙂 I grew up being a model, ended up on a reality show and found myself being doing life as an infamous blogger and a business woman. (How hilarious. LOL.) I’ve worked hard. Yet still…it’s crackers.

I always say that my decade in Hollywood taught me how to ‘hustle.’ How to survive. How to celebrate glamourisity, yet be tough emotionally. That’s both in work and in love.  I’m soft, but not stupid. Even if I play it. I learnt EVERYTHING the ‘Hollywood’ way, so i’m probably one of the most savvy chicks you’ll ever meet. I just do it with charm and a smile. It was a great time and in that time I again made some close close friends for life. Note, that in m circle of LA friends…we were all flipping struggling…and now…right now…we are ALL doing superbly in our fields of entertainment. Two of them have their own show. One is a movie producer. One is a movie star. The other a famous rapper. It’s crazy! We were roommates and we all used to piss ‘before they were famous’ Maroon Five off (who also said they were going to be stars 😉 ) by being drunk neighbours.

But anyway, I learnt focus and making ‘dreams come true’ there, in one of the most toughest places of all, where everyone was out for themselves….It served me well. I smashed it. I can now smell bullshit in a second. But i’d never embarrass you. I’d just nod and let you get on with.

However, I will say that I learnt values, morality and unconditional love…y’know…true respect…all that good stuff, from my family. I LEARNT ALL THE THINGS THAT MATTER. The things that give you worth as a human. I have the best parents and had the most loving upbringing….and even though i’m 100 percent Burmese, (which makes me exotic and magical and very Oriental,) there’s this good old ‘down to earth‘ simplicity to me, that you could only learn in Yorkshire. I’m grateful for that. That never left me. I don’t get lost in showbizzy nonsense.  I control it. I’m a really stable chick. Even when i’m wild. Don’t get me wrong. I am a bit of an EGOMANIAC. A sexy one. I know i’ve done well…or that i’m doing well…I’m aware of the buzz. I don’t like to be treated badly be it in work, just in places, or in love. I’m cocky. I’m playful. I’m not beige. I hate beige. YET, at the same time i’m weirdly so chilled and together.  I could out glam a the finest luxury in all the land…then just kick in my my comfies, whilst sharing a Nandos with ya.

ANYWAY …this is where my friends come in…AFTER MY TIME IN HOLLYWOOD….and during THIS TIME where life for me is changing massively…I AM REALLY LUCKY, because I don’t think that many people in my current situation can actual sit down and say, I have THE BEST CIRCLE OF CHICK FRIENDS EVER. They could say they have ‘Alright Acquaintances,’ or ‘Usey Friends‘ or not very many real friends at all. I have the opposite. They’re ace. They keep me focused when I need to be, as they remind me of how lucky I am. YET, all that keeps me grounded, so i’m not an absolute dickhead…because let’s face it…there’s hundreds of ya’ll. 🙂 I don’t suffer fools well. But i’ll tell you with such grace whilst offering you a cocktail that you’ll forgive me and courtesy. Lol. I know some really great people. Not just the girls. I have really good friends all over. I mean, I asked one of my closest friends advice today and she’s in Bermuda. I love her. I remember all that time when I was going through my divorce and I was brave facing it. She could see through the ‘royal wave’ and the forced smile…and the next morning I received something in the post from her…that to this day means SO MUCH. (Thank you EMS!! 🙂 )

‘I don’t think she’s used to people actually caring about her, who don’t have to…be it friends or guys…..70 percent of them fall for *Chrissie Wunna* ….and not just this Burmese chick from Donny, named Christina. When she finds friends or guys who adore both…she treasures them.’

By nature, I’m someone that cares about people, lives and others…a lot more than they maybe deserve…and when I say ‘deserve’ I mean these are the people that haven’t done good by me…The good thing is that i’ve grown out of that. I’m thirty six and raising my own family now. I never focus on the bad past bits. It’s unhealthy. Instead I’m excited for all the good that I have to look forward to in the future. I’m beaming.

Today, if I learnt anything I learnt how important love is to everyone. I asked every single one of my friends around me about their love lives…and they delivered their versions. Each one of them *glistened* with glee as they reminisced and told me stories of how they met their husband, boyfriend, or just boned a date. Lol.

I’m a sassy one. But i’m a hopeless romantic and let’s face it, life hasn’t served me well in the love department at all over the years. But i’ve always been hopeful. I think i’m a bloody good catch. Lol. I’m sure guys have always understood me incorrectly. They’re approach is always odd. I’m someone that believes men should be brave and chase their hearts desire and do it with their romantic foot forward. I’m a girly girl. I LOVE ROMANCE. Yet i’ve had years of just idiots, with a operate their ‘wooing’ via a ‘think they know’ version of me. It came to a time that made me believe that I would never get swept off my feet by some Knight in Shining Armour.

It doesn’t matter who or how the girl is….every chick wants a ‘Hero.’

 

 

 

 

Life, Swirls & Connections…

Today…if I looked at the positive and pick out the bits that matter, even though it rained all day in Yorkshire and parts of work were a draaaag, it was a GREAT DAY to be alive. I’m noticing when i’m happy. I’m embracing the things that I have going on that are wonderful and even though I’m all *winks & banter,* with sassy little stocking shimmies….I’m warm…If you know me personally and infact most of you actually don’t. But i’m grateful that you’re following my life. Know that by nature i’m quite playful, I’m quite soft…but i’m loads of glittery fun….

I looked around me today as I walked across the cobbles in the rain….with the weird blue ‘Lifeboat’ umbrella that I found and yeah…life wasn’t so bad. It was great day to be alive. (Still fucking wished it was Friday though! AND still fricking wish that it didn’t rain all over my hair.)

I have a lot going on right now from book deals, to tours, to modelling shoots, to business meetings, to brand deals and being mum…It’s the best thing EVER and on the whole  a super exciting time..BUT it’s relaxed because i’m feeling really in control of it all and these days, I don’t care about stressing out. It’s a pointless thing that we do when we’re scared. More than anything, I’m flipping lucky! I’ve got this shit down, on a calm easy, hair tossing breeeeeeeeeeeze!

But yeah, I had a conference called this morning. Edited a bit of my new book that’s out this year. I watched ‘Firmonnell’ enter holiday mode and pretty much toss the day off with glee. (I love her on holiday mode. She kept randomly talking tripe to people, like some ‘clingy on’ friend, just to kill time, so she wouldn’t have to do anything. Lol. It worked! Hahah!)

‘Oh hey Dipper…’

‘Oh hey Webbo!’

Double B must have called me a ‘BITCH‘ approximately 13 times today, but I let her off because lets face it, she’s a loon, but she’s fucking hilarious. We talked ‘my future‘ over lunch today, as we discussed life overlooking the town with her Rapunzel hair, whilst she ate super noodles.

‘Hustle Barbie’ had itches, which i’m sure she said were crabs? 🙂

Me: ‘You’re passing your itch onto me…’

Hustle B: ‘Do you have a pen? A black pen. GOD! I can’t reach my ITCH and it kills!’

‘Fairytale Blond’ (who has just got back from helicopter rides to hotels in Monte Carlo,) just looks like she’s going to fall pregnant soon….

‘Honestly! I can see it in your face! You’re gonna end up preggo.’

(She smiled like she liked the idea…)

Mel is on her military diet and smashing ‘weigh ins’ so she doesn’t have to pay to ‘jolly in’ with the slimmers..

‘It’s giving me headache…Where are those Jelly Babies..?’

and Lady Shizzle is showing us group selfies that resemble the cast of TOWIE in Marbs?

‘Did I show this selfie? Look…’

And then there’s me….

Just me…

And if I could tell you anything, I’ll tell you that i’m in a swirl. There’s this guy. The most amazing guy that I could ever know and I cannot even tell you how lucky he makes me feel right now…

When it comes to guys…or girls infact and the art of finding a great match…One of those soul connections that make you *BEAM* because you just can’t help it…you sort of need to gel on every level…don’t you!

With this guy…I have that…and i’ve never really felt like this before…

We can be besties and kick it…lovers and ‘filth it,’ take each other lightly, take each other seriously…express…trust…and just BE! We’re easy going humans….and I’m loving every single minute of ‘right now.’

I’m in a swirl and i’m beaming. He makes me feel really happy. He’s an AMAZING MAN and I don’t think my path would or could ever cross with a better one.

I’m someone who lives in the present and I never stress out about the ahead. People stress out too much about needing to know the outcome of something whilst forgetting to enjoy the ‘right now.’ When you embrace the ‘right now’ magical things happen, Infact  life, love and all sorts develop from those moments and much faster than you expect because you’ve embraced them without fear. We think and analyse things too much, instead of relaxing and really enjoy those moments with love.

For anyone of you IN stressy love life situations know that the development of it all is great, as it’s sort of like receiving a pink gift box… undoing the big bow… slooooowly unravelling the wrapping away, gently opening the box and reaching into it… to see the gift. You pick the gift up and play around with it for a bit…then you hold  palm of your hands and treasure it close to your heart because it’s ended up meaning so much to you, without you realizing. It’s magical. 🙂

But yes, i’m in a swirl.

He’s dynamic, but there’s a peaceful gentleness to him. We’re really similar like that. There’s a playfulness to him, but he’s a stand up guy! I’m really lucky. Anybody who gets to cross paths with this guy is lucky. I trust him.(That’s big) I trust him.

He totally deserved the bunny tail thong picture this morning. 😉

Anyway, I need a cheeky little wine.

Thank you for reading this…you actually mean the world to me. You are reading this with THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE, across the entire globe on every single continent of the world, That in itself IS CRAZY! I can’t even believe it.

So whether you’re a mum in Yorkshire, a business man in New York, a teenager in Japan, or a Doctor in Australia? Whether you’re a model in LA, a party girl in London, a husband in Africa, a teacher in Asia….Thank you all for reading…I’ve accidentally connected you ALL, by writing this little online diary… 🙂

Chrissie x

 

 

 

 

 

My Easter.

I’ve had the most amazing Easter. The most AMAZING Easter. I hope you’ve delighted in celebrating those extra days off, including the Bank Holiday, also! I actually worked today, so I don’t know what I’m on about? But hey ho, you can’t win’em all. But I hope you’re well. And yeah, I know that the the whole Easter thing, like Crimbo isn’t just about an abundance of choccie eggs and drinking ginny cocktails and more about a story regarding the sassy Good Lord. However, I don’t really know if The Good Lord and I are really that tight…So I’d hate to promo him for no real reason. 😉 However, whatever you’ve chosen to do with these last couple days…as long as it’s brought a smile to your face, then that’s cool with me. You’re exactly where you’re meant to be right now. You did exactly what you were supposed to do.

This Easter I went to see ‘my swirl, the most amazing man I’ll ever know. So with an,

‘I’m coming to see you today…’

and a reply filled with utter excitement and appropriate emojis..

..Three platforms, two trains, selfies with numerous teenagers and a Polish lady who said I was ‘nice,‘ with messages all the way, back and forth with ‘my swirl’ that were filled with a bubbly excited joy….

There I was, tottering out of the train station doors, in my dress, heels and faux fur, as he drove up to the curb *beaming*…and I hopped it lie the happiest little girl in the world.

And right from that moment, EVERYTHING was so naturally wonderful. I dunno? It just clicked and we were off doing Easter together like we had known each other for decades. From the moment I got into the car, it was filled with *beams,* banter, laughter and a simple ease. That never happens? It never happens? But at 13.02 this Saturday gone, life brought two people together…and we couldn’t have got along better. We spent our Easter together and it was AMAZING.

So, the thing about ‘my swirl’ and I is that we’re both really attracted to each other, yet we weirdly already have this friendship where we can just be us and tell each other everything about anything, yet at the same time, learn about the other, understand one another, make fun of each other in play and enjoy each other in moments of lust. It’s like this automatic balance of being able to be really sexy with one another, yet be best friends filled with a relaxed, yet fun banter, it’s an openess. However, at times we almost play ‘husband & wifey,‘ yet it’s all still glistened over with that excitement you get, when something is new. But what i’m getting at, is that it all happened so naturally, without us even having to try. It’s just how we ended up operating. I couldn’t have spent my Easter with a better man. He’s amazing and almost on every level. I learnt a lot about him this weekend….and well he learnt a lot about me.

Everything about our Easter Saturday was chilled and that’s exactly how I like it. I mean, to me, you have to be able to chill with a guy, easily…at the same time as being able to be yourself. We smashed a Nandos, we chilled, he looked after me so well, like he was the perfect gentleman. We got ‘sexy.’ We snuggled on the sofa, we chatted about our lives and then got absorbed with telly watching,

WE WERE GOGGLEBOX. Infact, no…WE ARE GOGGLEBOX. Let’s call casting and make it a deal!

I have never PISSED MYSELF LAUGHING AS MUCH WITH A GUY IN ALL MY LIFE. It was the funniest time. He was hilarious.  Yet he’s actually quite savvy, he’s really smart, really particular, really organised. I’m wild, but sensible. However, I have this respect for him.

But GOD, we watched The Kardashians, a Dinner Date marathon, the Football, Britains Got Talent, Britains Got more Talent, Take Me Out and then cringed at ‘Celeb Juice.’ We ight have referred to someone as an ‘Egg’ and we may have referred to someone as ‘Lurch.’ And we may have taken the piss out of everyone in the history of the world, including ourselves, yet at the same were baboozled by beings who were great.

We’re both chatty, we’re both open..we both think we’re funny. We’re both quite sassy yet well mannered, principled yet gobby. Independent yet stable. We’re ace!

Infact, there was a moment, when we were just sat ‘arm in arm’ on the sofa and I looked at him without him seeing me and we were BOTH in a fit of ‘throw ya head back’ hysterical laughter. And it’s those moments in life that matter. I remember those moments…even if they don’t last forever. You’re life is treasured by those moments.

‘But he had a fucking boat on his head! I’m obsessed!’

‘I’m not choosing what you want to eat!’

‘Surely, she won’t choose the EGG! He’s an egg!’

‘He missed the fucking ball because he was too busy shouting YOOOOUUU RAAAAaaaaaAAAAAAG!’

‘That was so impressive! How have they done that? It must be some kind of contact video thing?’

‘I always need a wee after…’

‘The trick is to not go on the date and stay on the show until the end…’

‘Do you want another water? Or some pineapple?’

‘You are literally SO HOT.’

There’s a swag about you…’

‘It couldn’t have worked out better..’

‘Money is why all marriages break down.’

‘Shall I order the spicy nuts?’

‘I need a 30 minute nap…’

‘We’ve actually been talking for AGES now…’

‘Aww! I take that back. I wish I never said that about him now.’

So after the best, most chilled Easter Saturday, at around 11pm, we both got showered and I got into bed with one of the most amazing guys that my life path has ever managed to cross with. He made me feel lucky. He actually made me feel feminine and I liked that.

But that night, as we both laid tucked up in the sheets, as we had an early start to the next day….we chatted because I don’t think we could believe how easy it was to just be around each other and get along…without any remote awkwardness or weirdness…It was just,….well…..easy….and in life GOD, do you have to cling onto the things that are naturally simple without complication that make you happy. They don’t come to you enough. When they do….I pay attention. This guys is not only incredible, but he’s actually a really great influence on me. He’s really organized and really well planned, but fun and I find that sexy.

That night, after we chatted, we fell asleep holding hands.

I hope I know this guy for forever….But if I don’t…as we all know how lucky I am in the love department….I’ll always remember the time we fell asleep holding hands and the best Easter Saturday ever.

‘I’ve loved having you here with me…’

‘I’ve LOVED being here..’

 

 

 

 

 

 

Every Second Counts….

So, there I was on Sunday evening, about to fly off an email to Social Chain and JUST BEFORE I hit *send*….almost on some weird *cue* my phone *winks* at me with a Twitter DM.

Now, I’m on my phone a lot, yet when i’m working or blogging, I sort of ignore it and check it occasionally, because as right now, it’s kinda like a revolving digital, never ending, screen fountain of Instagram picture ‘likes,’ Twitter ‘favourites’….Messenger notifications..You know the score…

Anyway, at this precise moment, before I hit *send,* I just so happened to look to my right, down at my phone. It was laid on my bed next to me. I had Juvenile ‘Slow Motion’ playing in the background and I was sat in my bra, wishing that I didn’t EAT my way through February…and with a…

‘Hi Chrissie,

Just came across the work you’re doing! Love it.. You in London much…Let’s set up a date for you to come over to the Yourfeed offices in London..Drop me a note and we can set up…I’ll have my executive assistant have a car sorted from the train station to the office for you. Looking forward to it!’

And just like that…another life ‘side street’ was presented to me.  You never know what’s going to happen at any point. I’ve learnt this always through life. Good things. Bad things. All things! I have opportunities coming from everywhere right now. Some are *zapping* in from above at the speed of light, some are some moving like a tango, other’s are friendly and easy going and there are the ones who are to the point, without ‘faff’ and direct. It’s all money, brands, meet me’s and ‘work with me’s.’

I don’t know what’s happening? Yet the Chrissie Wunna glitter train is no longer *chugging* along on steady yet rickety tracks . It’s now being picked up by giants, sprinkled over with opportunity and flown to the stars like magic…fueled by this little thing called hard work. Well I say ‘hard work’…yet it feels like fun. My previous boss once told me to ‘WORK SMART NOT HARD.’ That stuck with me…The idea is to utilize yourself appropriately to make the most impact.

AS IF THIS FLIPPING ONLINE DIARY HAS GOT THIS CRAZY!

I remember being a kid in West Hollywood, walking into that bookstore every morning, on La Cienega and 3rd, talking to DK who made me coffee every morning and telling him about what I’d got up to the night before. He told me to start a blog on Myspace..and i refused to because I didn’t know what one was…Lol. But I did it…and 10 years later…I’m apparently a ‘sensation.’ 🙂

LORD FUCKING KNOWS, HOW I’VE MANAGED IT???

Yet, the great thing about me, even though i’m really aware of all that is ‘going on’ right now in my career…is that i’m STILL just that girl, who started to write an online diary because some dude at a coffee shop told me to.

Right now, i’m taking ALL the opportunities that I can…because it’s really just the beginning. I hope to build an empire. Did I always think it would happen? Honestly…Yes. Did I doubt myself…at times..yeah. But this year is the actual year where in which I have in my hands…I have it here…in my hands..I can feel it..and it’s happened because at the end of last year I began to knuckle down and focus…I spent my last year chasing boys and after selling myself short, realizing that there was a whole career that I wanted to pursue…and that I was wasting time on things that I didn’t really WANT…my mindset changed…I grew 10 feet tall…I hair tossed, I got my *game face* on, I slipped on a sassier set of heels and I fucking WENT FOR IT.

I’ve only knuckled down for about 3 months and so far SO MUCH HAS CHANGED. In six months….it’ll be even better…by the end of the year…even YOU’LL be shocked. Just so you know, I’m always shocked. I mean I stood infront of my chick friends today with an egg sandwich..

‘Ewww….as if you got egg that’s disgusting. You’re disgusting!’

…and with a shake of my head in confusion, in my faux fur, I just looked at them with a…‘I don’t even know how this has all happened’ face?

I feel lucky. Thank you for following my life. Thank you so much!

Everyone’s asking me about the UK Blog Awards. They’re in April. I’m going to them…OBVIOUSLY. Yet not one part of me believes that I will win it. They’ve already picked the winner…and I don’t know…something just feels like it’s not me. Infact, i had a conversation about this with Abeiku Arthur the other day, after getting back from Manchester that time we did Nandos and went for ‘after chicken‘ cocktails.

Big A: ‘You’ll win it.’

Me: ‘I won’t. I know I won’t.’

Big A: ‘I’m going to the Awards y’know. Are you staying over?’

Me: ‘Yeah. You do know that you’ll have to spend your awards evening listening to me BITCH at you repeatedly because I haven’t won. ..and i’ll be dripped in champagne.’

‘Yeah…and I’m fine with it. Lol. You’ll win it.Why don’t you think you will?’

‘Well…because everyone else’s blog is a serious factual, advice type blog…and well mine is just the story of my life…it’s a diary…’

‘That’s why you’ll win it. There’s not many chicks who just write a  diary that people all over the world READ every day…’

‘If I thought I was going to win it…I’d tell you. I’m not like that. I just know I won’t. But I deserve to. 😉 ‘

So, what i’m saying to you all is to hope for the best yet EXPECT nothing…because from what I’ve learnt in life so far, ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN at any point. I’ve almost become immune to under feet ‘rug pulls.’ Embrace changes. Don’t be scared of them. Don’t get stuck in a rut. Look around you…Take a moment to look around you. Do you have everything the way you want it? Is this how you want to spend the next few years of your life? Do you want it to develop? Are you selling yourself short? Obsessing over the wrong things?Are you working your perfect job? In love with the right human? Are you being you? Do you feel AMAZING!!!?!!

If you do ANYTHING tomorrow, I want you to just take that *moment* where in which you *pause* look around you and monitor if you’re living life the way you utterly wish to be…

If you ARE…You’ve nailed it! 🙂

If you’re not…than things can only get better…YOU ARE the driving FORCE behind that change…Commit to it. Go for it! Make your dreams come true! Every second of everyday, someone, somewhere has had a dream come true. Why can’t it be yours?

Okay preach over….

Have rum and splash it in victory winks!

I love you.

Chrissie x