When I did Issho & East 59th Bar

Firmonnell: ‘ I wish you would stop spraying that fucking awful spray. It makes you smell like an old lady…a nan….I hate it. I hate it when you spray it. Fucking stop.’

Me: ‘Just because you’ve said that, i’m going to spray it continually to wind you up.’

Firmonnell: (Who remembered to change her knickers this time) ‘Well I hope it RUNS THE FUCK OUT.’

That was yesterday! Well aside from the inbetween bits where ‘Double B’ did nothing but swear repeatedly due to stress. She did it in a Vogue ‘top knot.’ The ‘top knot’ always makes her feel angst. I wore flats….my wonky feet felt like bliss after a Sunday of utter enjoyment in the sun on every roof top terrace bar, in Leeds that would have me.

Leeds is CRAZY right now for new great spots. It’s flourishing with class, style, life and business….and as a blogger….it smells like fun, it’s smells like content and certainly smells like money.

Anyway, I’ve been dying to try out the new Issho restuarant in Leeds. I adore everything chilled, stylish, beautiful and Japanese, so to this me sounded like bliss. I never had time because time kept being scheduled up! But I have time now! So why not right?

Inadequate Chris (who won the ‘Best Newcomer on Snapchat ‘award…remember that we have a video collabo shortly. Take yourself back to when we did coffee at La Bottega Milanese..) well he surrendered to a bottomless brunch at Issho…and as we discussed work, life and lessons…we were greeted by gentle kind smiles, the most impeccable service and the most beautifully creative food and drinks…in the sun.

Even the walk through Victoria Gate to the restuarant was delightful. I had to sit outside some bakery and change my flats to heels, as they rubbed. I also smelt a bit like German sausage, as they had some steamy market on outside Harvey Nics…where German sausages where being cooked on the street, next to a woman begging me to promote her new Opticians outside Michael Kors. ( I didn’t. I’m a Specsavers Girl. I also felt rough. AND, well…isn’t there a fee? *Wiggle..wink.* 

Anyway, like I said, the walk up to the restuarant was a calming joy, as I slowly tottered up the most architecturally grand and elegant stairway then took a lift to the kori bar on the 3rd floor.

The service in that place is untouchable. It’s great.

Me: ‘I’d like a cocktail that’s pretty please.’

Waitress: ‘I can absolutely recommend one for you…’

Me: ‘No, I want one with flowers in it…’

Chris: ‘We’ll just get the pretty Bellini and the other Japanese cocktail.’

Me: ‘I totally came across as high maintenance then, when i meant to come across as low maintenance. HAHAH. Just any pretty one is fine.’

Then we started chatting about his tragic love life, which he’s told me not to tell you about…so obviously i’m unable to spill the sake. UGH! And it’s so juicy tooo! (Boys. *Rolls Eyes.*) But yes, his love life is quite complex. However, I liked hearing the stories, as i got to sit back in my little red dress and gloat, whilst blurting out inappropriate blunt bits of HONESTY…

Me: ‘WHAT??? IT’S THE FUCKING TRUTH!’

Chris: ‘I like hanging out with you…you literally just tell it to me straight.’

Then we went bonkers and he ordered the bottomless brunch which was the most beautiful looking brunch I had ever seen. I actually didn’t order the brunch and instead ordered the ‘Prosecco Free Flow.’ (For two hours straight and for £15 you are poured unlimited prosecco until you cannot see. It’s a marvel and done with such panache. They don’t even wait until you’ve finished your glass, as soon as it looks like you need a top up, BOOM, there they are with your bubbles.)

I saw staff walk by with precious bowls of the most creative looking fresh Japanese delights ever. It was absolute bliss.

Me: ‘I want a Japanese house and a Japanese Zen Garden and a Japanese Roof Terrace and a Japanese Chef. NOW!’

Chris: ‘I don’t know what’s happened, but i feel really really pissed now. ‘

More talk of work, collaborations and his tragic love life (that i’m not allowed to tell you about) were discussed. It’s hard isn’t it, as over the past few months, he hasn’t really dedicated himself to being some kind of future ‘Social Star’ due to his rocky love tale. I guess this is why picking a great partner for you matters. Everyone’s version of perfect is different. So as long as you pick a girl or guy, who is on the same wave length, when it comes to love, life, friendship, beauty, sex, work and commitment…then you’re dandy. The best partners will bring out the best in you. They’ll love and support you madly and you’ll never have to prompt them to love you the exact way you always wished for. They just know how. (It’s all that wedding talk at Piccolino that must have got to me. Lol. But yes, i’d be quite happy to be settling down now…To me togetherness is bliss. People often never think that of me…but i’m a love bunny. I’m quite traditional when it comes to true love. I just play it sassy. 😉 )

But anyway, I’m not really going to go on about my love life….yet.

*She changes the subject*

On the whole, in all areas right now, I feel quite lucky right now. Infact, right now I AM the luckiest girl in the entire world. I don’t even know what’s happened to me over the last few weeks, (probably My Mother Feng Shui’s my house,) but all this lucky shit keeps flowing into Wunna Land like the Issho Prosecco free pours???? I can’t even believe it? I definitely deserve it. 🙂 Good things happen to good people. I live by that! IT’s TRUE!

Anyway after the most magical time at Issho, I decided that we tinker next door to the brand new East 59th bar next door. It’s the new trendy New York style restaurant and roof terrace bar in Leeds and in the sunshine, it was GREAT! The DJ was playing, the cocktails where are delight and as I sat down in the sun with my raspberry infused drinky poos, I looked around me and the ‘Bustle’ in the place was divine. It almost made you feel as though you were on holiday. There’s even an open air bar, surrounded by stylish humans. The atmosphere was great for a stop off, but I need to go again, as we did only tinker in for a chilled drink.

I’m actually going to do both places again at some point….I want lunch at Issho and the bottomless Bloody Mary’s and food at  East 59th bar. I couldn’t of had a more chilled Sunday. It was wonderful.

Right, i’ve got to go. I’ve got a lot on today. I have some exciting things happen in work and again it’s not for ears to hear yet. But it’s exciting! I’m in Yorkshire all week, aside from Thursday when I have to head to London for a day of filming, but that will bring me straight back to Doncaster by 9pm…so it’ll all be in a days work.

YET, last night, I sent someone love via Whatsapp and I found out some news, only little news that would mean so much tome and maybe not so much to you, but it made me beam with excitement. I was literally jumping around my room. I couldn’t even believe it. But it’s made me believe in fate and also made me appreciate the Speedo Spoof Video that he sent me to the Despacito song.

 

That Good News Phone Call

I got a ‘GOOD NEWS’ phone call today. I looked down at my phone twice as it simply rang ‘Unknown’ ( I never answer an *unknown* call as the last time I did was weirdo who wanted  to tell me about his penis demanded my attention) and then like a *whoosh* and a *wonder,* I checked my email, as my voicemail currently doesn’t seem to be working and with an *OH* they quickly gave me a call back.

Just like that, as I stood quietly in an office, after looking left at Firmonnell and saying ‘I really need to take this…’ in a yellow turtle neck jumper, as I rushed up a flight of stairs, I JUMPED UP AND DOWN with excitement. I love excitement and I love it when dreams magically tinker into reality.

‘Chrissie, I have good news…’

Life became bubbled over with a glistening ‘joie de vivre’ and from that point on….and probably because my life energy was bursting at the seams….GREAT THINGS began to consecutively happen to me…almost like some glitzy domino effect. I don’t even get it? But I’m so happy! Everything’s changing and I feel like the luckiest girl alive. I’m an excitable girl. I love good news and good times that peak a shimmie and infact it’s a great way to get me to listen or pull me, if you fancy a try! Lol. I love adventure and my good news call offered me that. From that point on Wunna land was tinseled up with VA VOOM.

(I mean even at the start of the day before the phone call, I won a decent Malbec and a certificate for being ACE, all before 9am…so life wasn’t so bad. But yesterday….on the whole was a great day!)

The evening ended delightfully as I messaged someone via the fine art of picture taking 🙂 who I can’t help but adore, (what a great human) and whilst sipping the wine that I won…out of the bottle in a fuchsia bra, because I couldn’t be bothered to get a glass. Hahaha!

Everything just worked out merrily yesterday and it made my little Oriental heart beam. This is a really good time for me. I swear it’s because I have a decent tan, yet my Mother assures me it’s because yesterday, as I tangoed through my work day she Feng Shui’s my entire home, so bring me luck. Maybe it did work? I’m quite spiritual by nature…so I delight in the idea of a bit of Feng Shui.

What i’m going to go with is the simple old ‘I worked really hard, went for it and seized all opportunities’ excuse….Seems to work for me.

Other than that, Firmonnell is now being glam even with a ‘dragon rash.’ Mel is off to Disney Land Paris and adoring every inch of being a Mother to kittens. Fairytale seems chilled, like her life is plodding along exactly how her text book read wants it too and Hustle Barbie is demanding that we pay her attention and adore her Baby pictures. (Her day ended with a stranger buying her a really expensive bottle of gin and a gorgeous bouquet of lillies. I love it when gents are just lovely for no reason other than being a ‘darling.’ The funny thing is…before she went she was sure he was a ‘stalker.’ But hey, you can be stalkery and whop out the flowers and we’ll all love you anyway for being so cute.)

Anyway. i have to set off for my work day now. I’ve double booked my tomorrow, so I’m gonna have to work all that out….

Things are just wonderful and even though i’m only on what feels like the first step to many, I’ve come a long way…and more importantly…i’m done it all by myself. 🙂

Remember that dreams come true…but only when you have a good tan. 😉

 

 

 

I Smashed A Bit of London Pride.

I had so much fun in London! I smashed Pride. I only did one night, due to Mummy duties and Jenna’s ‘come around to mine for drinks’ night.

But Lord, nothing is better than meeting Theo,  your LA best friend, who you haven’t seen in 11 years and then accidentally realizing that it’s Gay Pride in London (He’s gay. Not straight. And so much fun. We’re really similar.) Anyway weirdly, as soon as I tottered through the ‘Double Tree’ hotel doors in the West end and rushed up to his suite, on the warmest day that I have ever experienced in London, he swung open the door AS I KNOCKED, and it was really really emotional. I didn’t even know what to say!!! I was in shock.

A rush dashed through me and I had to blow out, like I was in labour. But then…within  minutes, everything just went back to how it was 11 years ago….which was GREAT! It was easy! We picked up exactly where we left off….and that’s how you know you have a true friend. He missed me. I could tell by the way his eyes smiled.

Theo:’ OH MY GOOOOOOOOD! YOU LOOK AMAZING!

Me: ‘Gosh! I don’t even know what to say. I can’t believe it. I can’t believe you’re here!

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I’d accessorized with a golden clutch and a handbag that had ‘overnight stuff’ shoved in it. (I always pack light, because I hate carrying shit.) Theo out accessorized me, as he had no golden clutch, yet instead brought ‘Jenny from Paris.‘ Yes, an entire American human from Paris. We chatted, we laughed and she napped as Theo and I tinkered to ‘Hercules Pillars‘ for pints and snacks in the sun…and then with a wink we were met by hot gay Daniel from Wimbledon’ in tight white shorts and from the point on, where in which life made us revolve out of those ‘Double Tree’ glass doors….the city was our oyster. AND WE LIVED IT!

It was a heated swirl of London party magic. It was Pride. It was Soho. It was alive. It was a glamourous blow out of testosterone, laughter, new fun with old friends and warm air in a new city. We stopped at ‘Balls & Company’ a cute little date spot where you can grab tapas like balls (all the food is ‘ball’ shaped’) and alfresco dine, in the middle of London as the busy streets and people bustle by you. We ordered every ball on the menu and enjoyed wine, banter and cocktails, as we told stories of our present, relived stories from our past and style watched as we shared our balls. Lol. (I actually just drank the whole way through.) The food was OKAY. It wasn’t superb. But it was a great bouji spot of ‘coolness.’ I mean God, even a homeless guy tottered up and asked to try a ‘ball.’ This was after we offered him a tasty gourmet potato wedge. He shunned it and said, ‘No, i just want that ball.’ I loved it! He then went to try to empty find prosecco bottles for dregs. If I was homeless…I’d be him…but with better hair. Then I forgot about it all and just had more wine whilst refusing to eat. (I don’t like eating when i’m on a drinking mission.)

Dan: ‘I love how well Chrissie just KNOWS her party process.’

Me: ‘Dan! I even know how your night ends. You’re going to stop drinking water, have a few wines and get super sassy…’

Dan: ‘I’m giving my body a break….’

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He ended up giving in and getting really drunk on gin and then letting hot men grind on him to hip hop tracks in Freedom bar, before ‘leaving early‘ for sex. Lol.

It was such a fun night and glamour and warm shimmies, in the evening air, under the stars, as the streets just filled itself up with ‘good time’ folk and characters.

It was great for us because we were such a good click. A great team of ‘night out.’ We’re all the least judgmental humans on the planet…all a bit hot…:) ….and all know how to just have a good time without being high maintenance. I honestly felt like I was on holiday. It was that great! It was magical…. Even though my feet killed on the fucking cobbles. They fucking killed. I couldn’t even walk and they ruined my world.

‘Paris Hilton gave me these shoes for getting naked on the telly….they KILL!

We went from bar to bar and drank ourselves silly with love. We danced, we chatted to strangers….we lived. One gay even did my hair outside Circa. My favourite thing is someone playing with my hair, so secretly it was BLISS. Touch my hair always. I love it. Especially when it comes with grooming advice.

Once we got to Freedom bar, I did notice that everything turned testosteroney. Gay dating is REALLY different to straight dating. It is men and heated hormones….It is CRAZY. At this point, all the gay men in London had ‘gone for it‘ and this was their hour to pull!

‘Jenny from Paris’ and I just danced and let them do their do. The odd straight boy would find us and come gyrate around us or try to hip hop tracks, whilst trying to feel our bums…but I couldn’t be arsed with it really. I just wanted enjoy my time with Theo and friends and this was the latest I had stayed out in AGES!

I am a cocktail bar and ‘chill it’ kinda girl. A good balance of both. I love fun. I love that flirty wild energy. I’m a lot of fun. But i’m a glamourous soul, aren’t I! After a certain hour, nothing is glamourous anymore…that’s when the real pissheads are out. And yes, that night…I was out. 🙂 We all got so drunk. And for the first time ever…I ordered water at a bar to sober up. Lol.

Early hours, we jump in an Uber. Everyone around us in London now seems to be wasted, hooking up or falling out with each other, around us at this point. I’m shattered by this point. I had an early start to my day with Mummy duties etc, so I fall asleep in the cab and shock myself up when we get to the hotel…and just like that, whilst Theo and Jen tried to banter free cookies out of concierges…I passed out in tiredness in a giant hotel bed. I’m too old for late nights. Lol. I need and LOVE my sleep. But I had so much fun!

AND WEIRDLY I HAD THE BEST NIGHT’S SLEEP EVER.

I slept like I had never slept before, so deeply and for hours straight without a wink or wiggle, for a whole EIGHT HOURS.

We all did.

The next morning Jenny from Paris woke up hungover, to the point where she was unsure as to whether she could participate with the rest of the day. I felt fine, but wished i had brought flat shoes. Theo was fine. We went to brunch and had wine for breakfast. He smashed a whole PIZZA in a cafe for BRUNCH Lol, i had humus and Jenny looked at her soup….then looked at it again before feeling sick because we had ordered wine.

Me: ‘You really should eat that. You will feel so much better in an hours time for doing so. I used to do it all the time in LA before work after nights out.’

Jenny: ‘I love how you just KNOW the party process…’

AGAIN! Another human who said the exact same thing. I should write books on it.

The sun was out. The sunglasses where on. Then due to Mummy duties and because Junior was distraught because his new pet caterpillars hadn’t arrived I had to sweep up my handbag and jump into an Uber to the Kings Cross station. I messaged my mum all the way, after saying my ‘good byes’ and then jumped on the 14.08 train from Platform 0 to Doncaster.

Got home, felt shattered, played with the babies who i’d missed so madly and whilst telling my mum stories of my evening. I can tell my mum anything, she’s great like that. Then as Ruby and Junior settled  and laid to sleep for the evening, now utterly content that Mama was home, I then tinkered over to see Jenna, Danielle and my old work friends, for casual night time drinks on the terrace, with a whole bunch of close beings, who i’ve known for years, again under the evening stars but this time on chilled Yorkshire soil.

It was again the most brilliant time, filled with laughter and memories. We’re like one big happy family, who can just sit and take the piss out of each other over cocktails.

Jenna was kinda proud that I made it. I’m a good friend. I’ll fit an entire work week in, and bloggers schedule, mummyhood and travel, even party the night away in the capital with the gays and STILL make it to your chilled drinks on the terrace.

To be fair, it got a bit rowdy. Lord knows who her neighbours are, but they are ‘da bomb.’ I mean GOD, imagine listening to us lot singing really badly… to every old school 90’s pop song, by every boyband imaginable, at the top of our voices, after midnight, like we were auditioning for the Xfactor. We loved it. We lived it. We went for it. People were being sick, taking naps, crying and sliding down stairs on their bellies.

I simply sang and danced to Blue and Backstreet boys.

Then I took my pretty ass home.

Again! I slept better than I ever had and weirdly today, i felt great. I think it’s because i had championed a really busy time, a stressy time, where in which I just needed a blow out. We all did. Everyone working alongside me, needed a blow out. I got that and it made me feel free. It made my weekend feel like a holiday, I mean I did so much…and as a result…it sort of made me a better human because I felt like a refreshed happier human.

Today was great! Everything’s been great! I’ve chatted to the girls and loved it. ‘Double B is back, and everythings back to normal. They all seem chipper, but probably because we all just did our own thing at the weekend and went for it. We drank loads and blew out ALL our stress balls. I definitely came back to work feeling better. It proves that you need balance. You can never be a successful human without a little bit of everything in your life. Even if you think you are…you’re not. Constant work stress killed me….I just needed a break…and once I got it…I felt free again on my return.

I really wish I had a foot rubber.

Who wants to be in charge of Wunna Land foot rubbing?

Right, I’m shattered now. I’m going to bed.

Hope you’ve started your week well. If not, you’ve got plenty of

time left to fix it. 😉

Love you!

Chrissie x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That Crazy Little Thing Called Happiness

If I could teach anyone anything about life right now, as I wink in at the mild age of thirty six… it really would be, to just always remember to only do the things that you love. Life is so glitzy and so short. It runs out in a blink. There will be a moment where in with you have a minute left and in that minute you will be helpless. That’s why we have this whole juicy life right here for us now and it is SO important that you don’t take the things that don’t really matter seriously and that you prioritize correctly. Enjoy it! Pop open the bubbles to it!

I sat in a room yesterday, full of glamourous girls. I love these girls! But I looked around that room and every single human in there was miserable. Not one person in that room wanted to be there and every single person in that room hoped for better times or could think of something else or somewhere else they’d rather be. We all get days like that and days like that are fine. We all pull faces and delight in a moan. Yet do note that only ‘Days’ like that are fine and a lifetime of such is quite seemingly dodgy! 😉

It made me think.

I’ve done a lot in my life and i’ve achieved a lot. I feel good about that. I’ve had my dream job and worked all over the world. My love life has always been shit. Great times. But not necessary paper perfect.  Yet, I guess that came with whatever time my career threw at me and i must’ve have been more insecure than I thought when I was younger also. That’s always hilarious. Yet, i’m older now and wiser. I’m confident. I’m beaming. To me love is everything…and i’ll get it right in the end. (Can you applause when I do!) If I’m honest, I get everything that I care about right…in the end. Lol

But yes, I looked around the room and not one pretty face was smiling….that’s how I knew that no one in that room was doing anything that they loved. It wound me up, because i’m an advocate for life, loving everything until it bubbles and just enjoying people, positive energy and the world. I’m not sure if it’s important to be grateful for what we have or to really go for what you wish for?

So I’m gonna go with this….Remember to only do the things that you adore. The rest will work itself out. When you do the things that you love, magic happens because you’re at your most powerful…because you’re no longer living in fear or doubt. You’re happy. Go for it. Why not? I’ll pour you a rum!

Anyway, away from the preach festival. *Hair toss…Pout* . I have the busiest weekend ahead of me. I’ve had to reschedule a lot, mainly because I over booked and well being a single my of my two ‘adorables’ isn’t easy at times. I have a lot of help and i’m so grateful for it. But still, now that i’m older and even though i’ve had success…I look back and remember all the times I didn’t make a ‘Sports Day’ or I couldn’t get to that ‘school show’ for Ruby. But I didn’t have an option. That makes me feel shit. At the time i was running on determination to succeed….there was just me and I had the babies….now that i’m in a good place….I’m trying to make it all right again. Don’t get me wrong, the babies and I are really close….it’s my own head that tinkers and then retinkers.

But yes, this weekend, I have baby graduations, then I have to hop onto a train to London to go meet by LA bestie Theo for afternoon fun and an 8pm dinner at Cafe Monico on Shaftsbury Avenue. Drinks will occur and i will be blogging and snapchatting my whereabouts. Then i’ll be home….I have pet caterpillars arriving..and i think i have a Liverpool stint if i fancied it, but i’ll probably just end up in Leeds for lunch, as I need to stop off at the Mercedes dealership.

The following week I have Manchester, good times and cocktails. Followed by the VIP Piccolino party in Sheffield and then the divine new sushi bar Issho in Leeds, I guess for the weekend.

All of this whilst blogging, working and being mum.

The idea is that I don’t stress out and just take it in my glamourous stride. I haven’t done anything about not getting stressed. I need to book a massage but keep forgetting. Instead, I threw one of my legs up on my bedroom window sill and did these weird pilates stretches…TOPLESS. 😉 You can get away with that when you’re an oldie. I couldn’t be arsed finding a bra.

I’m not sure it relieved much stress. But I certainly had a blast. Well I think I did? No Infact I might have put my back out? I may have broken bones. I mean GOD, If i’m going to end up married to a Toy boy one day I better get in shape. 🙂 Topless Pilates is surely a great way to destress?

But whatever…my boobs look good today! Do yours?

Have a good…Wait? What day is it?

 

 

 

 

Business, Bloggers & Dual Action W******

I’ve ‘quadroupley’ booked myself out. No! That’s a lie. I’ve ‘booked’ myself out six times, in one go. No SEVEN! And yes, that sounds great because it means you’re all glamourous, you’re doing well and popularity is tickling at your tender kitten toes. HOWEVER, it’s a little more complex than that! I mean,  HOW the absolute jolly BALLS am I going to be in or at SEVEN DIFFERENT PLACES, all across the nation AT ONCE??? It’s humanly impossible and certainly my own daft fault. Ofcourse! Yet, I don’t think boobies, cocktails shakes or charm is going to get me out of my predicament and more than anything that curdles away at my glittery soul. My charm should ALWAYS WORK, even when i’m dead. (And no, I’m not going to have a glamourous death. I’m just going to be 100 years old exactly, take a kip and rest peacefully. Knowing my luck, I’ll be tootling along, in my leopard print faux fur, on my granny mobile, in sunglasses at 100 years old, with a rum in my hand and some Morris Minor will come and run me over, outside a newsagents or something? My LA guy friend Ryan once said that i’d die by being ‘Savaged by Thieves!’ Lord knows why it thought it would be that exciting? I can’t even ‘book’ myself out appropriately for a weekend, let alone let thieves savage me to my death.)

Why am I talking about death, before 7am?

ANYWAY! Let’s get cheery!

So, yes this weekend i’ve said YES to everything, managed to get all my dates a muddled and now SEVEN DIFFERENT PLACES are expecting me to show up, this weekend. IT IS THAT BUSY!

I’m doing really well and people are ‘signing me up’ left, right and centre, to sexily tinker down to their event, new bar, office or restaurant, literally EVERYWHERE, where one can ‘Socialite’ to deliver my dainty little view of life from their glitzy venue. (This is definitely because I went to Gino D’Acampo’s new joint and didn’t wear knickers on the glass floor. It’s pushed me up that lofty ladder of ‘popularity’ overnight. Lol Now everyone wants me on their glass floors in bars. 🙂 )

But from a real point of view. It’s a really exciting time for me, i’ve worked really hard for this, I’m going for it. I’m feeling SASSY, ON FIRE, UNSTOPPABLE and moderately invincible. I kinda feel like I am the Queen  of ALL KITTENS. Y’know, totally ‘sought after’ now. The word on the street, via other infamous and rather successful beings in the same field or media is that….

‘Chrissie’s smashed this personal brand/influencer thing down this year.. She picked up the ball and ran with it…’

So there you have it, it’s amazing what a little bit of glamourous street game, a blog, the ability to express via written word, a rummy soul, a case of candid banter, good humour, boobies and a lifestyle can do! I’m not scared of it anymore. More than anything, I’m feeling at my most powerful and it’s only just the beginning. I have lots planned and i’m GOING FOR IT. So strap in… (I love it when i feel like this, it makes me want to bathe in champagne like a ‘Girl Boss’ and shout at people for no reason.)

But… honestly I can’t organise myself for shit. Lol. How am I going to be in SEVEN places at once. This isn’t including my normal ‘non worky’ social commitments. Unfortunately, they get put on the back burner. Lol. Such a great friend. But at the end of the day, you have one shot to grab a bit of ‘opportunity’ and if you drop the ball…well….you lose. The people that care about you, love you, understand what you’re going through, I think you’ll find will always be there.You’ll be in a mad rush, or battling your career, but you’ll pause weeks later, look to your right and their still there, smiling, supporting you and letting you know that everything’s okay.

I’ll sort it all out. I just need to prioritize and get my ‘rejiggle’ on. My guy best friend Theo, who I grew up with in LA, (he’s an actor, model and has created his own TV show. I Know.) Well, he’s coming to London, all the way from LA to see me this weekend, whilst he’s en route to Madrid, so he get’s a priority ‘tick.’ PLUS, I’ve missed him being my bestie. I’ve missed all my LA besties. Yet Theo takes the biscuit! He’s the only male human (and yes he is gay, but buff as hell) to THROW ME OFF HIS ACTUAL ASS IN A GYM, so he could lean on a counter and other gents could ADMIRE HIS BOOTY. Not sure why I was sat on his ass now?

But Theo and I have been through a lot together. In LA it’s hard to ‘make it’ but we did, we’re doing it. And that’s something you kinda treasure in your careers. No one can take that away from you.

Theo: ‘Just ignore her….she’s crying over a penis.’

That was his quote the time we both ended up following boys to other States of America because we thought they loved us. I went from LA to New York, for some hideous boy named ‘Tommy’ and He went from LA to …where the fuck did he go? Florida?? I dunno? But yeah, for some other hideous boy…named ‘Eric.’

We both ended up homeless and had to get flights back to Los Angeles immediately. Hilarious. It was all in the name of love. 🙂 Theo is the most manly gay man you will ever meet. He’s a DIVA, but he knows how to take care of you. Lol.

Can’t wait to see him.

Other than that, I have the British Style Collective in Liverpool, three restaurants, Issho, Leeds, Manchester…..and London….fuck! Just lots.

It’s not the busy part that catches me out. I thrive on it all as it’s exciting and fun. I just hate organizing the busy part. I just like to show up and do my thang…and do it well.

As if I’m Social Media’s Favourite (Kitten Esque ) IT Girl!

I’m accidentally building an empire via just being ME and writing about it. I must have learnt more off ‘Hilton’ than I thought! 😉

Anyway, I’ve godda go. I’m sat in Flamingo Sheets writing this with no bra on.. before work starts. I have ‘droopy boob’ fear.

I forgot to tell you, but I was The Carleton the other evening and ran into my old school friend Kate. We went through our entire schooling lives together at the private school in Ackworth…and as we were sat around a table, was the stars shone down on us and ‘Harrys Mum’ was feeling down trodden because her husband had cheated on her, ran off with the other woman and left her holding the baby. She was quite upset about it emotionally, because obviously, it’s not an easy thing to go through and it’s fresh. Breakups are always hard on the heart, when they’re fresh….Yet you do always end up finding the girl or guy of your dreams in the end….

So in her moment of desperate need and support….Kate turns around, completely ignores what she’s saying, fights over who is drinking who’s wine and says…

‘Wouldn’t it be great if all guy’s penises, were like dual action cigarettes and you could just CLICK a button on the side and all of sudden their cum would just taste of mentol, or strawberries.’

HAHAHAHAHA! I love my friends!

I honestly know the best humans!

Ps/ Go check out  one of my close LA besties Theo Breaux!

 

 

 

 

When I Tinkered to Gino’s Harrogate….

Last night I did Gino’s in Harrogate.

I mean, everyone knows that I am a regular adorer of the Gino D’Acampo restuarants. The Leeds spot is one of my favourite haunts. You can always find me at the Prosecco bar, with a hair toss, a wink and that good old saucy banter.

Infact, I love everything that is going on in Leeds right now, as it seems the city is being sprinkled with new life. We are hosting some of the most stylish and creative bars in the North. And when you’re Blogger/Socialite nothing could be MORE DIVINE. My niche is ‘bouji’ and bouji is now right on my kitten door step.

But wait, yesterday I decided at the very last minute to tinker away from the darlings of Leeds, where life is laid back, yet wild and filled with what I call ‘Heels & Handsomes.‘ And instead, have a car drive me into Harrogate to celebrate the launch of the new D’Acampo restaurant, for their opening weekend. I like new. I like different towns and cities, fresh lifestyles, all social situations. (However not today because I feel rough. 🙂 ) Plus, I kinda wanted to just be somewhere different.

As soon I pulled, up, tottered in, adorning my little red dress and heels and as security pulled the door open for me….

WOW!

The atmosphere of that entire place was filled with live bustle and laughter and a stylish, yet devilishly delicious ambiance of ‘busy.’ It was glamorously packed and I was greeted with a smile, poured a Prosecco immediately and well like I said, I go to the Leeds Gino’s a lot, so I saw a lot of familiar faces who took a moment to show me around the new digs and introduce me to everyone and everything. I’d gone on my own. (I love going places on my own because it prevents you from being ‘cut away’ of everything and everyone and invites people to cross life paths with you. When you’re in a ‘click’ you stay within that ‘click’ and sometimes don’t see all that is going on around you.) It gave me the opportunity to mingle and chitter and really see, taste and hear all that was surrounding me.

To start with the place is huge, but filled with stylish excitement. From open kitchens to roof top terraces, where you can actually dine, look upward and have the sky blanketing over you. The DJ was playing. The upstairs prosecco bar was full of GQ looking Harrogate men and women who had either married well or made something of themselves. It was really bright on the roof terrace and I loved it. I felt free. Harrogate is a very different crowd to Leeds, everyone is distinctly more ‘showey’ and posher. Lol. They adore bouji but expect it. Things is not ‘laughed’ off in Harrogate….(I was stood next to a 20 something lady in the loos, who was moaning because she had to ‘wait for the loo’…There was literally no one infront of her…LOL..so she was kinda waiting for no reason at all, but forgot to check. Hahah! What an idiot! I simply smiled and opened up a door…She blushed and well I assume, went forth and wee’d. 🙂 )

Regardless, the staff at Gino’s that evening won everyone’s heart over with their impeccable service and Italian charm. Plus, they kept giving everyone prosecco. That helped. In fact that was HILARIOUS, because I was stood at the top of the stairs, in the bouji GAMES area, (yes it has one) which is right next to the glass windowed Private Dining room, which you can ‘curtain off‘ so the ‘riff raff’ can’t watch you ‘Lady & The Tramp‘ your pasta.

But OH MY GOD, I was chatting to people and watching Ladies and Gents play table football…well I watched an actual real life footballer  ‘Adam Clayton’ play table football against his ‘soon to be’ wifey and another guy, who was determined to win the game by impressive table football wrist action…

Sorry, i got distracted….

Anyway, whilst sitting at the top of the stairs… ALMOST FOUR TIMES IN A ROW, I watched a different glamourous human (HAHAHA, I’M DYING, IT’S HILARIOUS, YOU HAD TO BE THERE) walk up the first level of stairs towards me, SKID and SMASH INTO THE WALL (HAHAHAHA) because they had accidentally got SO DRUNK and the utter giddiness of all that was going on around them, had just got the better of them. Lol. It was so hilarious that it was almost like a PRANK STAIRWAY.

I started weeping with laughter…and funnily enough, when I did..they did to.

THEN OFCOURSE….The Gods got me…

When I tinkered up that glamourous baby blue lit stairway, I got onto the next level and realized the flooring was PURE GLASS. YES, a glass floor! YES. An absolutely delicious idea. Yes. You can watch all that is going on below you.

YES! I DIDN’T FUCKING HAVE ANY PANTS ON!

UGH! Lol.

I took them off because no one likes VPL line. Visible panty lines are weird and 90’s. So I had my little red dress on….heels…an espresso martini in my hand, a glass FLOOR and no knickers. Hahahah!

To be honest…I’m a confident girl. I’m not terrified of such a treat. I was almost delighted. It was a game in itself. Lol. I turned around and told every managerial looking body that I didn’t have any pants on….I told anyone who would listen and laugh, just for banter and then I committed to the cause and EMBRACED IT.

It is the funnest and most sauciest flooring I have ever seen. You should all go in short dresses and no pants and see if anyone catches you. 😉 After a few Prosecco’s, it’ll work wonders for any stale marriage. I was snapchatting and posting my entire time there and I got a HUGE Snapchatty/Twitter/Stagrammy repsonse to this picture…

Image may contain: one or more people

It got retweeted over five hundred times. Imagine if he looked up! Hahahaha! It’s a game you can all play. Don’t tell Gino I told you that. We’ll just keep it between us. 😉 Giuseppe won’t mind though. I’m sure he’d let me get away with a Wunna Land game.

Great night. Such wonderful staff. Strange Men kept coming up to me and asking for Selfies with me. But it was weird because they wouldn’t know much about anything ‘Chrissie Wunna,’ I wouldn’t think. Yet for some reason they kept wanting selfies? By this point I was sat at the downstairs bar, chatting to the the bartenders, who couldn’t of been more polite during what must have been such a stressful time.  The place was all ‘alive’ with ‘busy’ and to still be able to charmingly banter and whiz out every cocktail order under the sun with such panache…I mean LORD…How they coped I don’t even know. But they did and well! What a dynamic team!

Then…and now it’s almost 11pm, some guy struts up to me to try his luck with ‘The Glamour Puss.’ I wasn’t out looking for love. I was out to swirl madly in a glorious ‘D’Acampo bubble and just enjoy my night, in a new town before the clock struck midnight. (That’s when my car was picking me up.) I KNOW!! SO CINDERELLA OF ME.

He struts up all confident and like he thinks he’s got this in the bag…and simply starts telling me i’m beautiful and that he’s going to take me out and show me a good time in Manchester. (He said it like I has quite possibly never been out anywhere in my entire life before…) Infact, this was went down…(You’ve got the ‘beautiful’ blah, blah introduction lines…)

‘Where do you like to go. I’ll show to the best places in Manchester. I’ll take you out. Show you around. What places do you like? You’re beautiful.’ (Tries to hold my hand.)

‘I’ve done Manchester quite a lot. Yeah. I love it there. And well it’s less about where I go and more about who I go with…’

‘I LOVE THAT YOU’VE SAID THAT. You’re a DREAM. Give me your number.’

‘No. Nice try.’

‘I can give you the world.’

‘Why are you just pouring out line after line…’

‘Come to Manchester with me…’

‘Nah..’

By this point, he’s trying to ‘barmy smarmy‘ all the way around me, whilst trying to flirty touch me and impress me with ‘money talk.’ He does marketing and all sorts of things. Lol. Runs a company. Knows Steven Bartlett. Lol. He sort of resembled everything that I dislike about men when they try it on….and well…after drinks..I’m sassy one. I’ll let you know that i’m not interested.

AND let me tell you how good the bartenders where…I had been talking to them all night, so they knew I was there and why I was there…and as soon as they saw him ‘smarming’ about me personal space they clocked it to make sure the situation was okay. That’s sweet. Even the women next to me, where like..

‘Who is that dickhead.’

Anyway, he writes his number down and tells me to put it in my phone. I’m not even listening now and just flicking through various Snapchat stories. He’s so pissed he can’t even tell. Lol. But tells me that I can do whatever I want with his number. The ‘balls in my court.’

I just reeled off a mega bunch of extremely sassy ‘no thankyous.’ But he just found it more appealing. He must have, as most boys would then get it, right?

What he chose to do in that moment was

GO IN FOR A KISS!

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!

HAHAHAHA!

He tried to snog me and before he reached my face, I performed the most delightfully graceful version of the

DUCK AND WEAVE.

It was hilarious. He totally missed because I weaved around him..whilst still on a barstool and then his friends found him and took him home. Lol.

His friends: ‘I’m so sorry about that. We’re grabbing him now and getting him home.’

First of all, If I don’t like you, you probably shouldn’t try and smooch me in PUBLIC, without my consent. Lol. I will duck and weave and you will look silly. I mean, GOD I never kiss boys in bars. EVER! NEVER! Let alone strangers who I don’t fancy. LOL. At least he was confident. I’m always moaning that men hardly make the first move and chicken out. He certainly was no ‘chicken.’ He just chose the wrong ‘dream girl.’

Told ya, Gino’s got the better of everyone last night. It swirled into souls with magic and fun.

Then I got the..

‘Your car is outside ready’

text…and BANG ON MIDNIGHT!

And just like Cinders…after the best night ever….I thanked everyone for having me, cuddled staff ‘bye bye,’ left a gin and tonic on the bar, but ate the cucumber…(You know you’ve had enough to drink when that happens…) and with both ‘glass slippers’ in tact (Cinders leaving a shoe at the ball is beyond me, no one does that, she wasn’t in a rush, she was probably just really pissed and recovered from smashing into the upstairs wall ) and yeah…

…I left the ball.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

. I felt for them last night. It was a busy one! That operation was run like a dream. You saw headsets and power strutting, but not once did they ever refuse to *pause* and help someone who maybe looked lost. Lol.

All I remember seeing amongst the divine bustle was lots of gentlemen in tight white trousers and blue and white pin striped shirts, that was swirled amongst glamourousity and women who were waiting to see Gino. (He had been in Harrogate, went to Leeds and was due back in Harrogate that evening. He must’ve been SHATTERED. He’s currently at his Manchester restaurant. So shoot down if you want to catch him quickly. I left Harrogate at midnight last night and he was still going strong…and I feel as rough as a donkey. But saying that i did treat my delicate system to endless cocktail shaken espresso martinis and bubbly proseccos. I went for it. You only live once.

 

 

Banter, Geordies & Life Skills

I’ve had a snotty nose all day and nothing is more unattractive on adults than a snotty nose right? It’s ran all day and i’ve had to have tissues at the ready to hold onto some form, any form of glamour pussiness. I don’t like runny noses…they’re not very Gucci. 🙂

I’m still working hard and i’m sorry that I haven’t managed to blog as much as usual. Yet when there’s a lifestyle blog, there’s a life…and sometimes you’ve just got to live it. I’m a writer and I love it more than anything. I’m creative. But when I have a snotty nose…shit goes down. I was sassy. It put me in a mood and mainly because it kept rubbing off my foundation…

‘I’ve forgotten my bronzer brush and I keep blowing my nose! I can’t have an exotic face and a white persons nose.’

I did lunch with ‘Hustle Barbie’ today as we looked over the town from a giant glass window with a salad. During that time, after she had bought herself an emergency dress for the York races, she was so happy that she contemplated throwing herself off a giant building. Lol.

‘This isn’t life. It’s shit. I’m sat here with you, doing lunch. I’m looking out the window and nothing out the window that we can see is beautiful or exciting. LOOK! It’s all shit! I mean God, you’re losing your touch! You don’t even get those creepy videos from that creepy guy with the tiny penis anymore! I feel like I should just throw myself off that tower…Hahaha.

However, because she’s so hot, if she did, some kind of weird Prosecco angels would fly by gracefully and cradle her fall, whilst turning it into some beautiful soft landing, that ended in rose petaled bedding.When you’re hot that happens. It does. Even in an bouji invisible brace.

Right now, I’m all about living life and loving it. I’m sick of people spending time on the things they don’t love. You should all be working jobs that you were made for and adore. I’m also sick of folk refusing to express how they feel about the things or people they do love. There’s nothing wrong with that, so be terrified of it. If I care about someone, regardless as to how they may feel about me, I make sure I tell them that I care about them almost every day. You’re a long time dead and anything can happen. So…it makes me feel good to let the people I appreciate know that I do. You should do that to. It’s good for the soul…like rum.

A thing that’s made me smile today..is my chick bestie ‘Firmonnell.’ She’s travelled to London with her hubby ‘Big D’ today and they’re celebrating their Anniversary. She’s 30 now…or thirty something i can’t remember? They’ve been together since she was 19! I know!!! And to this day, after all that time, they’re still happily married, now with two babies, love, a to die for friendship and they still even have sex regularly! It’s a dream! Big D ‘gushed’ about how wonderful she was today and that made me beam. I love it when guys can openly declare how wonderful their wife is! It’s so sexy!

Y’know, it’s weird as Firmonnell and I have the exact same sense of evil humour. We are absolute BANTER! However, we’ve walked such different lives. And in a way, even though i’ve done the whole everything I ‘Hollywood’ wished for in work and ‘modelled’ my way through life with telly stints, glamour ‘do daa’s’, celebrity this and and excitement…part of me wishes that at the same time, I managed to hold onto to love. I’m thirty six and haven’t managed to stay in love since being 19. I’ve been married three times. (Firmonnell liked my first husband and decided to LAUGH AT ME for the divorce because I was foolish. Hahah! What a cow! Lol.)

LET ME TELL YOU.

Don’t fret, if you’re in my glitzy position. Lol

Love comes to people at different times and i’m not talking the average kind of love. I’m talking that LOVE that people have written about over centuries. That true love that whisks you off your feet. That guy who is your ‘hero.’ That girl who makes you feel like the greatest man alive. It comes to you when it’s meant to. So for Firmonnell she was lucky because when she turned 19, he found her, he loved her and they did ‘happily ever after.’

My life’s been a bit different and mainly because of my choice in career, i’d say. Then my stint in Hollywood. Then my telly bits….It kinda made finding true love, somewhat more difficult. Not just because people saw me differently. Yet because my view or standards on what I wished for in a dream man were also raised. Infact there were times in my 20’s when i didn’t even know what I wanted, or had too many options or just felt lost and instead committed to work. But not now. I know what I want. I may have got what I want.

But yes, how lucky is Firmonnell. I’d like to have an anniversary, where my hubby declares how wonderful I am. And at the same time, years down the line, she adores him just as madly. That’s sexy.

Not much else has happened today other than a surprise visit from one of my new Geordie mates ‘Potter.’ He made a random appearance in Wunna land. Infact, after Lunch with ‘Hustle Barbie’ I found myself walking out of one door and walking through to the other side where I was immersed in a group of Geordie boys, all banter, all fun, all down to earth, all in suits and all talking football….with chicken. I’m northern, so I love a Geordie. When I was a teen, an American boy or a Geordie boy was my favourite type of crush. We all chatted shit for a good fifteen minutes in the name of banter. What i noticed about the boys is that they’re scrappy, but they’re loyal. They are passionate about the things that they care about. Banter was fun. They got a bit heated.

I’m Yorkshire and we’re chilled…we live our life by the leave it and ‘It’ll be right‘ phrase. We don’t really get too bothered about things, we just have cups of tea or 40 wines, whilst letting the world take a turn or having a ‘sleep on it.’

Saying that, i do know some properly mental Yorkshire folk who need therapy, so I take that back. I’M JUST CHILLED. I swear it’s the rest of you lot that are loopy! 😉 I’m perfect.

Right, i’m going now. I an hear singing in the house and I don’t know who or where it’s coming from which is alarming?

Love you,

Thank you for reading my blog.

Chrissie

 

 

 

Everything Chills & More Awards

Right now, in June 2017, i’m all about ‘chills.’ I’ve had a dramatic and simply fun life. It’s been complicated at times, it’s been great, it’s been hard, but  i’ve loved it. The stories I could tell you who shock the frillies off you. I’ve felt every emotion under the sun that one little girl from the orient could go through. But i’ve achieved so much that I could pour a bubbly prosecco and *cheers* to life with a ‘thank you,’

Hasn’t June zoomed by? Infact, we’re jiggling in that time of the year, where from this point onward everything *swooshes* by at the speed of light and before you know it, we’re sat with the people we love by log fires, letting Christmas, Baileys and festive spirit, magic it’s way around us. (I’m a Christmas Baby. I have a Christmas Birthday. It’s my favourite time of year. I could take or leave Summer.I adore the warmth of it. Yet, there’s just not the same kind of magic to the season.)

My chick friends and I have been shit at dieting. I say shit. But to be fair, we have been salad eating. Yet every single time the weekend comes, we guzzle pizza and scoff cocktails 😉 like ‘plus size’ is life. Lol. If i’m being honest. I’m quite happy right now and the twenty six year old ‘Hollywood’ version of ‘model’ me would’ve died before she touched a carbohydrate. She would’ve weeped for ‘donkies’ over a pretty boy that didn’t love her.

The thirty six year old version of me is COOL. I am the most comfortable I have ever been and the most emotionally stable kitten that you could ever cross paths with. I couldn’t be more glamorously comfy with who I am and what i stand for. And that took a long time. Haha! I’ve mellowed out. I’m chilled. Don’t get me wrong, I’m passionate. I’m spicy. You don’t mess with me or anyone I care about. Yet, at a time where everything couldn’t be going better for me in life…A time where you’d think that i’d totally lose the plot….I haven’t. I’m not. I’m delighting in peace, laughter and eradicating anything or anyone stressful from tinkering around me.

It’s bliss.

‘She’s literally the most Down to Earth girl you’ll ever meet, cleverly disguised as a DIVA.’

As I said before, I have busy times ahead and i’m really excited and lucky for having them. Yet i’m aced it now, when it comes to balance. Nothing seems to stress me out any more. I have it down. I focus on the things that matter to me. I express how I feel and I live. You should too! Make your choices and then what will be will be. That’s life.

I mean I just had a convo with this amazing guy about life and how we should always blame it. Lol. (This is after he found ‘first date’ hamsters on Facebook)

‘You only live once. I could die tomorrow happy, or you could be stuck with me until I’m 80 and that’s life’s fault.’

I guess, I’m just saying go with it and enjoy it.  Leave stress to the foolish.

But anyway away from that ‘Fairytale Blond’ wants a Cockapoo. (She’s going to have to do a lot of ‘COCKapooing’ to get what she wants.)  ‘Hustle Barbie’ has an Invisalign brace. (I want one to. I hate my wonky bottom tooth.) Double B is getting ready to Baywatch swimsuit it in Greece. (Jealous.) Firmonnell had a new face today. (She smashed work today.) Lady Shizzle opted for ‘wine is the answer’ and Mel has kittens!!!!

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

(In a shed.)

‘The pregnant cat adopted me and has now had kittens in my shed!!’

I’ve got a sore throat…and no I don’t need ‘Penis..cillin’ for it. If I could do anything right now, I would be setting off to the luxury log cabin in the forest. I love it there. It’s my happy place.

Although i’m all about ‘chills’ i’m looking for excitement. I enjoy bursts of *surprise,* yet I am very rarely shocked by anything. It would be nice to be shocked by something. It would be nice to feel a *burst* of excitement.

I will say that, I’m super honoured to have been nominated and then shortlisted for the Diversity in Media awards….I know! For ..

‘BLOGGER OF THE YEAR.’

Crazy! I’ve gone form ‘Content of the Year’ to ‘Blogger of the Year’ in a wink. And i’m not one to focus on awards, as win or lose my blog is about my journey through life….It goes on….

Yet unlike the other awards…I want to win this one. Diversity in Media means a lot to me. I adore what it represents.

The Awards are in September…And you can vote for your favoruites NOW.

Here’s the link to VOTE for me DIRECTLY.

https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/DIMA2017 

But if you want to see all those shortlisted you may. But still VOTE FOR ME. 😉

Scroll down to BLOGGER OF THE YEAR and click VOTE NOW, UNDER MY FACE  Simples. LOL.

http://www.diversityinmediaawards.com/shortlisted-individuals.html 

Hope you have a wonderful evening.

I love you,

Chrissie

 

 

Sunday Banter & Glamourous Rose Smelling

Happy Sunday! Hope the weekend is serving you well.

I had a Friday of watching blond chicks try to ‘competition’ one another via the fine art of ‘picking up bottles of water with their bare feet,‘ followed by exceedingly creative ‘sent to me’ pictures of ‘apples,’ dashed with a moment where in which ‘Double B’ described another human..like this…

‘Well, imagine sausage meat.. being squeezed into the skin…..that’s what she looks like.’

Hahaha.

Even though it’s bitchy and disturbing on most levels. Lol. I’ve got to admit that it couldn’t be more creative! I love her for her ‘one liners’ and descriptive terms of endearment. (If ‘endearment’ meant abuse.) She comes out with the most hilarious verbal glints of sassiness ever.

Life just *paused* at that point and Firmonnell, Hustle Barbie, Double B and I literally wee’d ourselves in absolute hysterical LAUGHTER! I’m telling you, it’s those moments that make life ‘alive.’ The way I see it, if you’re not laughing your way through it, then you’ve got no hope at all. 🙂 Firmonnell tried to explain this to me whilst we were sat in a cupboard, yet about love and how ‘beauty fades.’ I got the ‘jist’ of it, yet she delivered it like it was a cheesy American ‘life coaching’ infomercial, had to stop herself to piss herself laughing and then cried because she found herself so funny!

HAHAHA!

Then it was the weekend.

I’ve kept it ‘family’ and just spend it with The Babies, but as you know, this is Wunna land, so there’s no regular twiddling of thumbs to church music. We have been and done EVERYTHING. It’s been one magical, glittery family blur.

We committed to park pinics, we shopped, we smashed up Toys R Us, followed by a bit of bouji lunch at Cosmos. (Ruby’s favourite place to lunch.) We then tinkered to the local Gala, where pretty much every human I knew, along with their loin fruit, did ice creams and bouncy slides with stunt shows and fair groundy treats. Followed by that, it was all cocktails, cups of tea and balloon bursting at Ego in Ackworth. I go there a lot, it’s my ‘Where everybody knows your name’ spot. I go there to think. I go there to drink. I go there to pass time.

Infact, one of the girls that works there had told me that someone at another table has spotted me and was trying to take a photo, as I winked at a cabonara. Do know that you can come up to me…I don’t bite and I will happily selfie with you. I’m an attention whore. I love it. 😉

Then Junior decided that he was still hungry, so as Ruby sauntered off with her Dad (she’s a Daddy’s girl) I then had to take Junior to ‘The Carleton’ just so he could have Mac & Cheese..and he smashed it.

Long story short. Lots of fun had. Lots of ‘smelling the roses’ and not getting stressed about what lies ahead. I have massive changes going on in my world, that it’s almost turning ‘fairytale’ by accident. It seems that ‘fairytales’ keep happening to me. I guess because i’m lucky? Yet, if you were to look through the archives of my life or just see into my mind, my life story, things haven’t really been so ‘fairytale,’ i’ve just managed ot get up, dust myself off and with laughter keep moving forward. It’s that ability that has sort of made any Wunna Land success happen. I’m not a sulker. Life’s too short.

BUT YES….

You don’t know what’s going to happen and I agree that the most successful people DO PLAN OUT  a magical future and work hard to get there, yet in my mind the most successful HUMANS are the ones that see what they have, are able to make the most of it, enjoy their present moment with all their soul and just look forward to whatever lies ahead…happily…and without fear.

Good things happen to good people.

I have lots lined up. I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow. I’m about to go meet ‘House of Solo’ for a catch up. I’ll just drink gin and listen.

I had a great brunch with Baby Junior at ‘Shake & Burger’ at The Frenchgate, Doncaster this morning. It was all milkshake floats and diner vibes. He was simply desperate to go. So I got up at the crack of dawn, to get him there.

All babies are now with their Daddies. It’s Sunday. We’re Yorkshire. They’re all doing Sunday dinners.

I’m feeling rebellious, yet my inner glam will kick in and prevent nonsense from occurring. I’m good like that.

Lots of blog lunches, and cocktail bars are ahead of me in July. Let’s hope my body can handle it.

It’s doing alright so far.

Have a fun Sunday.

 

 

 

 

Frupples, Footy & Martinis

Did you even know that a ‘FRUPPLE’ is the term used for when THREE PEOPLE are in some kind of sexual or romantic relationship! I didn’t either! Fact of the day alert!!!! Wait! I’ve just been told it’s actually ‘Throuple’ not FRUPPLE!! Hahahaha. I like ‘FRUPPLE’ better. I used that instead!

‘Dipper,’ who’s one of my guy friends. Well, he’s just got back from somewhere sunny and decided to tell Firmonnell, Double B and I abut some creepy two part program he likes to watch on ‘Netflix and chill.’ Lol.

Dipper: ‘AW! It’s so good! Two married people are shit together and sex has gone stale, so the husband goes off and has sex with an escort, but falls for her. The wife then finds out and needs to go see who this escort is and then falls for her ….’

Me: ‘Are you sure this isn’t just a porn. No wonder you like it so much.’

Dipper: ‘Honestly, it is the BEST thing on Netflix EVER. They’re all in this weird three way frupple…where they’re all having secret sex, but they’re married.’

I love the word ‘FRUPPLE.‘ It makes something so weird and creepy, so cushion cosy. I’d hate to be in a ‘Frupple.‘ It’d wind me up. I’m not good at making the best out of a bad bargain without just leaving and making cups of tea. Haha. Can’t even remember what ‘Dipper’ said that flipping show was called now? Let’s just go with ‘Something Porny.’ And who even knew that ‘Netflix and chill’ actually does mean ‘Netflix and chill’ and not ‘just some guy trying to invite you over under the false pretences of chilling, when he’s really going to attempt to bone you.’ 

I knew the day would go this way as it began with a series of really shit jokes. Shit jokes are only great when delivered well. When you’ve built up your crowd for just long enough and then BOOM.

We’re all sat in this room…all girls aside from three guys and one of them in a pair of leopard print ‘business’ socks and Lady Shizzle decides she’s going to tell us a really good joke she heard the evening before over drinks. One of those ‘English man, Irish man, Scottish man’ jollies. (DO NOTE, I am AWFUL when it comes to listening to the ‘English Man/Irish Man’ jokes because they just get too long winded and I zone out. So i’ve already mentally prepared myself…which was difficult, as I had definitely had a conversation about ‘wanking’ approximately 4 minutes previous.

Anyway, Lady Shizzle begins her ‘English Man/Irish Man’ joke…something about them being on death row…and having their last meal? Then she changes it half way through, because she forgot the joke…lol (YOU CAN’T DO THAT) and now they’ve been captured by Tonto and  the Indians or something? People had ale, got scalped…You get the jist. The joke was delivered in the same wishy washy fashion. Haha.

Long story short, it ends with the Scottish Man being set free by the Indians because for his last meal he wanted to ‘pieces’ of bread to cum in. I got the joke. I got the jist of what the joke was meant to be about anyway. Lol. Due to the delivery of it…there was sort of dead air and everyone looked puzzled???

‘What’s pieces?’

‘It’s bread in Scotland.’

‘What’s happened?’

HAHAHAHAHA!

Then we have ‘Fairytale Blond.’ Little Innocent won’t get a naughty joke or ANY JOKE (lol) in the world ever. (UNLESS SHE REALLY PISSED AND THEN SAYS RUDE WORDS AND STICKS *TWOS* UP AT EVERYBODY.) Like her Dad used to say that she must have been ‘raised in a cupboard’ because she was so immune to understanding a good bit of ‘joke.’

Lady Shizzle told the joke and ‘Fairytale’ just looked Professionally BLANK. Hahaha.

Fairytale: ‘I don’t get it?’

Me: ‘He’s cum!!’

Fairytale: ‘Well why would he not get scalped for that?’

Me: He’s cum in bread. It’s a joke.

Fairytale: ‘My Dad always said he thought i was raised in a cupboard. I don’t get it at all?

That’s how my day began. Yet whatever, I’m not the joke was delivered that badly now…I mean, how can I put it? A glass of prosecco thrown at you… is just as exciting as a glass of bubbly prosecco poured for you, from a luxurious great height by a hot waiter, because both moments are ‘alive.’

The moment was ALIVE. Lol. YET, GOD why do I have such thick friends. 🙂

I love being Yorkshire because you really can just turn around and say,

‘You’re thick you…’

..and it’s completely acceptable.

Anyway, i have to go get ready for work.

I’m moderately hormonal, but i’m really excited to tinker on down to the new Japanese Issho Restauarant that has just opened. The launch night was 2 days ago…However, I will be going privately and i will be blogging my time there for you.

I’m also excited for the ‘British Style Collective’ in Liverpool, is it next week or in two weeks? Who remembers? It’s over four days, But i’m only going to be doing one…as EVEN MORE EXCITING NEWS, one of my BEST BEST BEST BEST LA FRIENDS ‘THEO BREAUX‘ (he’s an actor, I named a set of my eyelashes after him) is flying out from LA to LONDON for a few days.

I’m really excited. I haven’t seen him in years. We pretty much grew up together in West Hollywood. He’s MODEL hot, black and GAY….and I can’t WAIT to shimmie on down to London to see him. He couldn’t be more excited!

Anyway, I’ve got to go and listen to ‘Double B’ ramble on about how her extensions feel like a ‘Blanket of joy’ and then listen to my guy friends go on about football. (They apparently played Seven/A/Side last night in Leeds. *Wait i might fall asleep.* And let Webbo out because he had to work. LOL)  The chick part of my circle of friends are fun….we waste hundreds of pounds on cocktails..and moderately regret it.

David: ‘Whatever, you lot are dickheads. You spend £90 bar tabs on Pornstar Martinis.’

I think we decided that all men were selfish yesterday, whilst being hormonally imbalanced?

Which reminds me…’Hustle Barbie’ is back today!!!