PJ Skating, My Insta Pics & Ghost Pirates

I’ve just got done shimming alongside a bit of ‘Dancing On Ice’ where I skated around my living room laminate flooring, in my socks and pj’s, under the distinct misconception that I WAS some kinda ice Goddess. (I can’t skate for celery sticks.) But it puts you in the mood, doesn’t it. Makes you feel all wonderous and elegant. All divine and glamourous. Did it all with a Desperado in my hand. I think I made it ‘swag.’

I’ve had a weekend to myself with my family. It’s been weird, because with all the family ‘stuff’ that’s been going on, with my Grandma etc……(it was the funeral Friday,) my system took a shock.

No not a shock? How can I describe how I’ve felt…? I’ve felt like i’ve mentally been rummaging through the bottom on my handbag, trying to find that five pence piece, that you really need for the parking meter, that you definitely know is in there somewhere, yet you can’t find it anywhere.

(Wait…some strange guy has tagged a picture of himself on my Facebook wall…and also tagged 39 other humans in. Why do that! I hate it when people do that! Would you ever? I mean, I get self promo..but Jeeze…don’t do that. It’s bad manners..and I hate poor social etiquette. Lol)Β 

Anyway, I needed two days of ‘losing my mind’ and filling myself with anxiety…Lol…and now…I’ve come through the tunnel and i’m back to my positive self. I’m feeling great again.

YIPPPEEE!

Which means…when you have a case of ‘da blues‘…in may case it was bereavement….FEEL IT because you’ll get over it much quicker ..but then ‘snap out of it’…take the time that you need, but try not to dwell on it…I started to see the positive in everything…and it feels so wonderful…should I say ‘WUNNA FUL’ to be back. πŸ™‚

My bounce back ability used to be much faster than two flipping days! Must be my age. Lol. In LA, it would be around 14 minutes. πŸ™‚

(All your messages and comments have been great. i’ve read them all and replied to every single one i’ve managed to catch. It’s really made my kitten soul feel dandy! I thank you so much for that! Oh and if you won a video message/personalised photo with my SCREENSAVER COMP…I shot them today, so you will have them soon..)Β 

So today, I posted this pic…on my Instagram, my Facebook Fan page, my stories, my Snapchat…my everything…Not on my Twitter though for some reason?

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And I love this pic. I think it’s sexy, it tells a story and it kinda makes you use your imagination…evokes your inner ‘creative.’ That’s something that I hope to inspire in others. I want to encourage people to EXPRESS. I want to encourage the entire world to keep a diary…and if not in written word, or a blog, a vlog, or anything inbetween…an Instagram profile, still…to me…counts as the ‘picture diary’ of your life…

Obviously ‘Wunna Land’ is doing pretty alright now…;) (thanks to you.) However, I’ll tell you that I TRULY believe that something does well out of love and passion, hard work and dedication. What makes me feel good about writing this blog, isn’t about a bit of fame and a little bit of fortune…(maybe a bit of fortune πŸ˜‰ ) it’s the simple fact, that I LOVE documenting my life, telling you how I feel…I have a genuine love for ‘diary writing’ (everyone in my family, even the kids, keeps a diary.) I’ve done it for almost 10 years now, all over the world…and done it out of love.

I love that it connects people…and that humans, from all walks of life, from all over the world (like you NOW)…. I like that you all *click* on chrissiewunna.com and for that second, you’re all connected via Wunna Land.

It’s a trip! It’s crazy!

Anyway, one of my chick friends, who was with me early today, before meetings, sat on my bed and watched me post the above picture…and said…

Friend: ‘It’s so weird, to see you post that pic right now, when you’re sat here sat in a bra and pj bottoms, with a poached egg sandwich..’

Me: ‘Why? Lol. It’s still me…’

Friend: ‘Haha…yeah, I know you idiot. It just that, I think that if people didn’t actually know you in real life…Like if they haven’t met you, or they …I don’t know, you’re personalities just really different to that picture…’

Me: ‘What? In a bad way?? Pass us my coffee…It’s on my dresser…’

Friend: ‘Like in a pictures…you look all sassy and moody and sexy…Y’know…all stuck up and high maintenance…and…’

Me: ‘Awww! Cheers! Lol.’

Friend; ‘No. Hahaha! In real life, you’re all funny and warm and giggly and I don’t reckon people would think that…They wouldn’t know that about you… They’d either get the wrong impression and if I was a guy and looked through your pics…I’d find you intimidating…’

Me: ‘Good job I don’t have to date you then… Why are you not passing me my coffee?? Yeah, I get what you mean…I get it. I did used to be a properly good glamour model….Lol’

Friend: ‘Shut up Wunna…’

Me: ‘It’s like being an actor…Just because you play a role for a picture, doesn’t mean you ARE that role… I love my pics. Tomorrow, I’ll post a dead smiley one just for you…’

Friend: ‘Really?’

Me: ‘No. I’ve already shot it. It’s sassy. Haha. Stop trying to make Wunna Land about YOU. πŸ™‚Β  Get your own land.’

Then we bought more coffee and did Sunday. I love Sundays, they’re my favourite day ever, because for me, I associate it with ‘chill time. I love to relax. I handle ‘busy’ with panache…But gosh, I adore the art of ‘chilling.’

I’ve just read a story online about a woman who had MARRIED A 300 YEAR OLD GHOST, of a PIRATE??? She apparently committed to such wonder, because she was absolutely sure that she would never ever find a decent man to love her, the way she truly wished.

That is TOTALLY a much SEXIER version of the ’80 year old, lonely cat lady’ tale…

I say..

‘Good on ya!’

I mean if she wants to marry a PIRATE GHOST then go for it. I actually think there’s probably thousands of people in a lot WORSE normal marriages than that! Lol.

I might try it…

(I love that someone has just commented on my Facebook Fanpage…Tried to compliment me by tagging my name in the ‘comment’ section, before his sweet words…BUT INSTEAD, he’s tagged the wrong name and it says the name of an entirely different ‘Chrissie.’ )

HAHAHAHAH!

All he’s typed is..

‘Oh my *insert the wrong Chrissie here*…’

And then followed it up with all the best emojis. There’s a kissy face, flames, a rose, heart eyes…everything…

The other ‘Chrissie,’ who spells itΒ  ‘Chrissi’ has responded with a

‘That’s not me… Lol.’

Nothing is better than the wrong tag…Like when I accidentally tagged a half naked picture of myself as ‘Chrissie Hynde’ instead of myself…But forgot to remove it…. and when I accidentally sent my Mum a naughty text…:)

Ooops!

Let’s all marry GHOST PIRATES.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Inbox Poems, Diets & Showbusiness

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Let’s at least try and start the year positively, right? I’m currently sat in a local pub blogging with a freshly bubbled prosecco and i’ve been scrolling through all my feeds.

Ooh wait….I have a message…

Firmonnell: ‘Why didn’t you come in then??’

Me: ‘You were talking to someone in neon and just looked busy. I’m at the pub now.’

Anyway, I’ve been scrolling through my feeds and gosh….HOW MUCH drama can every human in entertainment shimmie into 2018 with.

If you’re not in entertainment, I’ll tell you, during THIS TIME of the year we all (and I say ‘we’ as I am certainly included in all of this,) but we all hit the *panic button* because we all need to find attention, build attention and push the career a fresh…make our mark and make our money. We worry that we’re going to tinker through the year without making all of our merry dreams come true and we wrongly think that we have to SLAM IT in January to prove that we can start the race well.

ALL THE PANICS

In my ‘older and now wiser’ mind, it’s not a race. It’s not about where you start, it’s where you finish and your journey to the finish line is essential, as that is what makes you. Everyone tends to see the ‘success’ part of the ‘hoo haa,‘ yet forgets to see the journey it took for that person to get there. (We won’t you to see both.)

So as I scrolled I saw the ‘flashes,’ the ‘go getters.’ (Which is all fine, as it’s what the business of ‘show’ is about. There are the ones that play the ‘fame game‘ the ones that only focus on doing the one thing that they love and the ones that capitolize on both.)

But gosh, everything from Logan Paul already having to apologize for his behaviour and we’re only three days into 2018. Whey didn’t he just sit in a bar with a prosecco and chill a second?

If you are unaware of what he did, well…that’s a good thing. I do feel sorry for the poor boy, yet when you push the line, for attention…there is always backlash. I don’t think he expected it to backfire the way it did and I do think that he knew and still knows what he was and IS doing. It was in poor taste and well he ran on an excited energy, for a lot of ‘look at me,’ rather than using his nogging. It worked…negatively.

SIX MILLION views later…and Logan is forced to ‘say sorry’ and attempt to make it right to save his career.

We’re THREE DAYS IN! Rein it in!

Then all sorts happened, Paris (as in Hilton)…I am a product of the Hilton Brand, after tinkering off her ITV2 show, she is now engaged, with her $2million dollar ring and her ‘looks really happy to have found her soulmate’ video…The Jena Frumes/Lingard story….popped out of nowhere…(I can’t decide if it’s a PR stunt or a real life bit of pokery?) If it’s real…then he’s pretty stupid, young, far too horny or blind. If it’s a stunt…then it worked.

And just last night….Celebrity Big Brother began…filling the news with the opinions of showbizzy types…Katie Hopkins made her usual ridiculous remarks about transgender ladies, just to play her role of the villian…and already in that world, a couple days into 2018…Showbusiness has gone ‘cockaleaky,’ and i’ve already been called a ‘bad role model’ by a lady on Twitter who makes machines for the NHS…incase she ever found me on her CBB screen.

Hurrah!

It’s made me need a chill and a wine…and search for a wink of normality. I even messaged all the normal people that I know this morning, just to make sure I was still safe and sane. If anything, I adore peace. I adore the business of ‘show’ yet it’s all about balance for me. I can do both. Lots of people can’t.

So i’m going to use my little bit of kitten voice for all that is positive! 2018 is all about good vibes, love and that cosy bit of energy that leads you to your happy place. A place where you love what you do, adore what you have and believe in what you stand for…and what you stand for..INSPIRES.

I’m gonna start off with this..

I woke up this morning, still in my nighty, checked my inbox email and found the most beautiful poem from a fan…What I love about this person is the simple fact that on Instagram the evening before, he had commented, stating that he would write me a song or write me a poem. The next morning, it was in my inbox.

I LOVE IT WHEN PEOPLE STAND BY THEIR WORD.

It’s so attractive, because so many people, say SO many things and don’t actually mean what they say at all. You know they don’t mean it, because they never ever ‘action’ it.

(Oops hang on..I’m getting distracted. I’ve got quite a lot of things to promote and i’m trying to get through everything over the next couple of weeks. The powers above keep messaging me and dumping parcels infront of me with smiles…)

Anyhow, Here is the poem: (How Thoughtful, right!)

‘Chrissie Wunna

Always believe you’re worth it

Practice makes perfect
So beautiful but yet hardworking
Not a dumb blonde that’s only interested in twerking
Chrissie Wunna
Such a stunner
Light up anywhere like the sun in summer
You’d look good in any number
I feel you have sharp intellect
I wonder what is your main interest
When you die that’s the time to take a rest
Remember to save n invest
Towards your future will leave you feeling truly blessed
Don’t take no disrespect
Never expect
Think carefully what you accept
Stay away from fuck boys
Who try play girls like toys
You’re special
Got the right credentials
Very essential
A man would be proud for you to have their last initial
Wife material
Imagine waking up in the morning chilling drinking tea whilst you eat your cereal
Nice smile
You got alot of style
Dress elegant
Manners are excellent
You run a tight ship within your own regiment
Like a veteran
Chillin wid the folks counting benjamins
Celebrate life cause all you do is win.’

That is one of the first things I read today and it filled my soul with delight. What a lovely person. It made my day! (AND he rhymed ‘Wunna’ with ‘Stunner’ and referred to money as ‘Benjamins.’ That’s double points. I have the best fans! πŸ™‚ AND all my chick friends are accidentally blond, so I like that he called them a bit ‘dumb.’ Hahaha. (If you’re my chick friend and a brunette… My apologies..I’ve forgotten about you of recent. :). All the points! Yes I win…..

You are SO THOUGHTFUL.

Thoughtfulness is so sexy. From the bottom of my kitten heart.

THANK YOU.

(Oh!! AND TO ALLEN, who sent me the flowers! THANK YOU.)

It actually put me in a really positive mood and after reading all the rest of your messages….(and I couldn’t thank you enough for all the love I’m receiving, as you really are making me smile, you really are making my day..) I sorted myself out, made a few phone calls and got back on the deliciously clean ‘straight and narrow.’

Well..that’s after I watched the trailer to ‘Fifty Shades Freed! It looks amazing.I’m totally obsessed. Yes to Mrs Grey!! I can’t wait for February to go watch it with my ‘NO DATE. ‘ Ugh! Why can’t Christian Grey be real? Even if he was…he’d probably opt for not dating me, which would be somewhat awkward. πŸ™‚

I thought everyone loved the Orientals?

I am starting my fitness plan next week. There’s an inappropriate ‘jiggle’ to my wiggle’ right now. I adore my body. I do. Don’t get me wrong. But at 37, after two babies…and a delightful Christmas of cocktailing and eating everything, my body is far too ‘playground’ as I like to call it. There are far too many juicy bits, that should be a little more… tame.

So yes, the diet starts now…The fitness plan begins next week…and who have I gone with to get my kitty self into shippy shape…The one and only, cheeky chappy Joe Wicks…The Body Coach. Millions of you are already following him, so I really don’t need to tell you to. We had a Twitter ‘Morning/Morning’ this morning…meaning I am now read to go.

In 90 days…He will be responsible for any ‘good’ that my body goes through. So, if i look banging…I’ll let him take the credit. On a less funny note…I am sincerely inspired by him….and I really hope you are too!

Wish my sorry ass LUCK.

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Nothing Like A Wonderbra…

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Ah! This is my FIRST DAY of ABSOLUTE 2018 BLISS! I’m giddy and filled with kitty excitement. The New Year has officially *kicked* it’s pretty self IN and I am *PURRING* WITH A DELICIOUS SWIRL OF READINESS. I feel GREAT TODAY. I feel Wonderful! And luckily for you…like the lurgy, it’s contagious. However, absolutely and of COURSE, it is far MORE glamourous!

I’m feeling great! Wunnaful! You know when you just get that rush…that CRAZY rush of excitement that *zooms* through your body and bursts out of your seams. That’s how i’m feeling today. There’s a *buzz* about this land that I call ‘Wunna.’

To say i’m so excited, I’ve had a simple morning really…Woke up, cuddled the babies, stroked my kitten ‘Rocco,’ nibbled on breakfast, (I’m still being rubbish at dieting) and sipped my black coffee.

The rest of the day was spent at Wonderbra, being fitted into every delicious bra, in all of the mighty land.

In my mind…You can’t start the year without a decent ‘strap in’ bra, which will act as your ‘go to’ Battle Wear, through times of trial and trouble. That’s a fact. It’s a glamour pusses rule. It’s the bra you will always pick up, when you need that bit of comfort…The bra that will ‘party’ with you, go on ‘date night’ with you and keep you cosy, when you just feel like a duvet day.

This is what 2018 is about. Planning ahead. πŸ™‚ Life isn’t gonna get me this year. I’m ahead of the game. I’m all prepared for any sort of ‘rug pull’ or dodgy surprise, that might decide to *pop* up out of nowhere and cause me any stress…OR EVEN WORSE heartache.

I mean, I’ve always played along with life and that’s why it’s been good to me. I’ve bounced back so many times, that it’s now either terrified of me or just cut me some slack.

*Air Kisses…Winks!*

This year, I’m armed with preparation.

Before..and for many years, life would frisbee a ‘bonanza’ at me and I’d let it whack me in the face, pick it up and then i’d mould it correctly, with tears in my eyes, before throwing the Frisbee back. (The process was long.)

This year. Oh yes Dolls! I’m all over it. Life will frisbee a ‘bonanza,‘ completely miss me and whack the person behind me (with lessons still to learn) in the face..so that they can mould, or just let the plug hole swirl them in.

Bottom line…You need a good bra for all this! πŸ™‚

(I’m literally the best blogger in all the land. I even crack MYSELF UP. Poor brands. Haha!)

I spent my entire morning to afternoon in the delicious arms of Wonderbra. Now, incase you didn’t know,Β  I adore Wonderbra simply because it reminds me of my childhood. My teenage years. Their campaigns were always fun and we all needed a Wonderbra to feel sexy.Β  It’s such a classic old school brand, with a fresh, new modern day twist. And as we know…that is my specialty.

I spent my morning there.

So, yes, I’m meant to be some Glamour Puss extraordinaire…Yet let me tell you, I had the most HILARIOUS TIME. You do not even KNOW what has to go on, to get fitted into ANY lingerie or bra.

Wonderbra is a GOOD QUALITY brand, so the bra’s themselves are made so well and fit almost perfectly like a corsets, for your boobs. You can feel the quality of that bra, when in one and it’s that quality (like anything in life) that makes you feel SEXY. It made me feel so glamourous, so dignified, so filled to the brim with feline POWER.

So, this is what will happen when I go to bra fitting. I’ll saunter in, pick around four bra’s off the rails, that I THINK are my size?Β  I’ll always get it wrong, but nonetheless I’ll get the bra in every colour and all styles, to see what suits me best.

In the fitting room, all the clothes fly off and like today, the most adorable and warmest Yorkshire lady, almost like a cuddly, loving Mum sauntered into my fitting area and began fitting me into these bras.

It was hilarious. She was amazing. At one point I was completely topless, still in my jeans and knee high boots, bent forward like a juicy Burmese ‘plank,’ as she tried to strap me into my Wonderbra of choice… like it was my new sassy suit of armour.

She knew exactly what she was doing, as her giant tape measure dangled around her neck and we laughed every single minute of every single moment. If anyone was to walk past my fitting…you’d definitely question what ON THIS EARTH was going on!

Fitter: ‘This is too big…It’s far too big on your back. I need to grab you a different size.’

Me: ‘Yeah, But i like the black one better! How can it be do big? I’m a 34 E.’

Fitter: ‘Here, try this one. Bend over, let me fasten you in, cos you need to FALL your chest into it…Lean forward….It’s a 32 F.’

Me: ‘Can I try it in beige also? I like the strapless classic look..’

Fitter: ‘Your back’s small, your cups big. Let me fasten you in and grab you 3 more bras to try on..’

Then as a million bra’s swung around me…

( It was the actual height of utter glamourosity. Nothing was more ‘kitten like’ or spectacular. All it needed was a confetti shower…and a butler pouring us champagne.)

Anyway, as a million bras swung around me and I delighted in the comfort of femininity. But let me tell you, during ANY Wunna Land fitting, when I find the bra or lingerie I like, I will then prance and pose in front of the mirror, for a good 10 minutes per outfit. (WHEN I LIKE THEM.) Then after that 10 minutes, I will then pull out my phone and selfie in my outfit, until I get a good photo. πŸ™‚ I’ll even warm up and do test shots. Lol.

Β  Β 

I’ll forget that anyone else is there. Then i’ll realize and apologize sincerely. (I’m well mannered. πŸ˜‰ )

Me: ‘I am SO SORRY. Look at me. I’m in this mirror thinking i’m Pamela Anderson or something. Haha.’

Fitter: ‘Shush you, you’re alright. I wish I looked like you in that bra. Prance away, you look so happy!’

(Fitters are always AMAZING, because they WILL ALWAYS make you FEEL BEAUTIFUL. They’re job is to make you feel good and FIT YOU. πŸ™‚ )Β 

Then i’ll moan that my hair wasn’t right and take more selfies… do more poses…

Before finally agreeing that the world is now a safer kitten place to live in and that I’ll now FEEL GREAT in my bra/lingerie.

(Incase you didn’t know, when it comes to the art of modelling…of the glamour variety…it is how an outfit makes you FEEL, that makes a great picture, not JUST about how you look in it. Nothing is worse than ‘dead eyes.’)

Anyway, done! Dusted! Happy as can be!

One of the best brands. One of the best services. One of the best bras that I have ever at the honour of wearing. I honestly couldn’t have FELT SEXIER. I could wear my strapless Wonderbra, all day, every day and feel like a absolute QUEEN! I felt ‘regal’ yet sexy! I felt powerful and we women love a bit of power don’t we! πŸ˜‰

They’re like treasure.

Buy yourself a Wonderbra.

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