Dares For A Date, Road Beef & 21 Days..

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Today is ace. Sunday is always my favourite day. It’s like a peach and Malibu cocktail, with a tangy thong of ‘ooh.’ There’s a chilled sweetness to it, isn’t there?

I’m feeling wonderful. I’m looking better than I thought. ๐Ÿ˜‰

*Purr Here…*

I can’t remember if I told you? But i’ve been breaking a bad habit? I might have said it on my Insta Story instead? But, without me going into it, because I’m weird like that (lol.) I’m SO open, about everything, all sorts, literally enough to make you blush and call a Doctor. HOWEVER, if I NEED to ‘conquer‘ something personally, that i’m gonna find a bit of a ‘TASK,’ I’ll always do it privately, under my ‘hush hush‘ brolly, like an insecure, oriental pixie.

(I’ll only tell a couple people, who I know won’t nag me about it. I hate ‘naggers.’ I’m too rebellious, once I hear a ‘nag.’ They get me all guns blazing, with my knickers in a tight, diva twist.)

Anyway. I’ve just passed Day 10, of my ‘breaking’ of bad habit & I’m really proud of myself, because I really didn’t think I could even get this far! Haha. FFs.

First Week Smashed. Ping off that bra and shout a Hail Mary!

I’ve said it before, it takes 21 days to break a habit…COLD TURKEY. (Use this when it comes to anything emotional, physical or mental. It’s a game of will power.)

21 DAYS!

I’m not far off now. So when I get to Thursday Sept 20th… I’ve done it. I’ve hit it. I’ve smacked it’s little booty and winked at it on the ‘naughty step.’ย 

I’m actually going to treat myself after that. Like a reward for conquering a ‘glamour pussy’ demon.

What do they say?

‘Strength doesn’t come from doing what you can already DO! It comes from accomplishing the things, you never imagined you could conquer…’

Something, i’ve done all the way through my life. I always say, i wish you could see into my head and witness, all that i’ve seen all through my life.

(Currently getting a Flashback or riding down the escalator, outside Crunch Gym, on Sunset Blvd, in West Hollywood, with Joseph Fiennes, who was in town to film a movie. I think it was ‘Running with Scissors?’ He had a baseball cap on and was telling me he was Irish? Weird time to flash back THAT moment??)ย 

I was only a 23 year old kid. We’d been flirting for about a day…Lol.

You know what I’m like. I was all a flutter…He just probably thought I was fit…or cute…or whatever? ‘Road Beef’ is what I used to call my LA chick friend Jen. Hahah. (She used to always date these sportsmen. These athletes.ย  These American football players & Baseball Players.)

I’d always date an Actor, or a model…Yet, only because they were the ONLY guys around me, really….

Jen: ‘I’m driving to Anaheim today..I’m gonna go see him. He’s BBM’ed me.’

Me: ‘Haha. Don’t do that! You’re totally Road Beef. Lol’

(Even though I would do the same. I just wear my little heart on my sleeve and I always have. I like that about me though.ย I’d rather be that, than be incapable of loving. To me, that’s a travesty. A life without true love, is no life at all.)ย 

She’s finally happy, settled (Girls settle down much later in Hollywood)ย  and she’s just had her first gorgeous baby. I’m still…well..probably ‘Road beef’…But with a family…Haha.

I’m headed into a lucky time. A juicy time. A good time of work, excitement and new adventures. You know how much I love an adventure. My spirit is wild. I never want to feel tamed. There’s a lot of opportunity a brewing for us all and it’s making me feel delicious. I have a lot of news and I’ve changed everything around ‘personally,’ for it.

There’s something in the air, in Wunna Land, right now. The babies and I can feel it.

Even Ruby has a glint in her eye…

(She’s like a machine of magic, that girl…She’s grown straight into being….Lil’ Miss.Wunna, I guess? You wouldn’t think, but it’s kinda by accident, because I always encourage the kids, to simply BE THEM. But hey..If the crown fits? ๐Ÿ˜‰ )

I will tell you, that I thought I was gonna have a quiet Sunday of putting my Depop store together. Yet, I got side tracked, because during my ‘Ask Me Anything‘ on Insta…a guy propositioned me to a GAME OF DARES….

I’m up for a dare. Why not? It’s life…

I came straight in…with a…

‘If you get my initials tattooed on you..’ (fyi, I don’t know this guy personally, at all..He’s a big Wunna Land Fan and I love that!)ย 

He immediately took the challenge,

‘I’m next in Thursday evening for ink, so I’ll film it being done, then send it to you…’


Then he came back and challenged me…

‘Ok, no problem…But then you’ll have to do my dare…’

If he went through with it….(Do know that it was just banter…I just said it to terrify him…But he wasn’t scared. Lol) I told him he’s win a date, if he did…and he will, if he does…

However, he would have to chose between DATE or Dare.

His Reply…

*Hit Play…*

SO, IT’S ON!!!

I love a challenge. I’m not backing down. If he wins, he’ll WIN A DATE. (Something that as a Wunna Land Fan, he’s requested for months.) If I win, he pretty much said…

We’ll see! Let’s play! I love that he had a sense of adventure. It’s yummy. More guys are scared of me, than they are bold, with me. I like it. There you have it. I’m playing ‘Dares For A Date’ with a Wunna Insta Story Fan.

Makes sense to me! Lol. Yay! SUNDAY!

What did you get up toooooo?ย 

I’ll be seeing ya! I’ve got work to do…

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Ps/ Junior got a ‘Special Mention Certificate’ on Friday at school. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Miss. Murphy (who I love,) sent me a message, after reading my blog. (Our babies are in school together…) Her baby son Ray, told her, that Junior got called up for his mini certificate, but was too terrified to walk up and receive it. His best, school buddy friend, saw this and walked him up there, to help him feel bold. Awww! How magical! It melted my heart. It gave him all the confidence he needed. I love Miss. Murphy…He’s like the liquor in your cocktail..Not just the garnish. ๐Ÿ˜‰




I Should Own Theme Parks…

Holy Moly! Hope you’ve had your version of the perfect Sunday. If you’ve woken with the worst hangover on Earth, or steadily made your way to church? If you’ve treated yourself to a hard work week lay in? Or if you’ve looked to your right and had to roll some dude or chick out of your sheets, because beer goggles got the better of you…? ๐Ÿ™‚ Maybe you just shopped or went to gym? Either way, thank you so much for *tapping* into Wunna land and no matter what you ended up doing, know that that was what you were supposed to end up dong, I guess?

I got up at the *crack* of dawn. I swear cockerels could’ve crowed. Early Birds sang at my cloudy windows. Wunna land switch the *on* button on at soon as daylight began to peek through into Sunday and my Mum, my Dad, my brother, Ruby, Junior and I..all showered, glammed and dressed ourselves for a day out at Sundown Adventure Land, in Retford. Is it in Retford? I’ve been as a child before it spread it wings and developed into a childs theme park and OH MY GOD, let me tell you…I have happy kids, they are the happiest kids in all the land, BUT I HAVE NEVER, seen them AS HAPPY, as they were today at Sundown Adventure land.

It has just reopened for the season, Ruby chose to celebrated her birthday there with her family and honestly, if you have children under the age of 10…(and I have two) it is THE BEST LITTLE HAPPY PLACE to adventure them to. It was AMAZING! WHAT A SWIRL! Just seeing their faces burst with this overwhelming excitement *shocked* me. I had to fast totter behind them in thigh high heeled boots, this giant white faux fur, and skinny jeans pissing myself because I couldn’t catch up! My entire family of Orientals had to *tag team* these kids like a game of British Bull Dogs…on tequila.

So, I guess..’The Wunna Babies,‘ is a thing now? As i’ve noticed that I have an inbox filled with ‘come play with my brand’ requests for ME…Yet now…there are teeny tiny dashings of…‘We’d like to offer Ruby & Junior…’

So before anything THANK YOU SUNDOWN ADVENTURE LAND FOR HAVING US. The most amazing time, with the most amazing staff, service and childhood memory magic. You made my little giblets smile. I’ll probably not do it in heels next time. ๐Ÿ˜‰

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Today…I was nothing but MUM…and Oh Lord….before noon, I had swung on monkey bars, gone on a Robin Hood horse journies, been shot at in the Wild Wild West by cowboys (the last cowboys I met in Wunna land were strippers, so obviously, this was an odd change ;). ) I had crept through a witches caven and controlled their evil Tom Foolery, had fudge….lived Christmas again on their sleigh ride, gone on some Gold Diggers (no jokes ๐Ÿ™‚ ) western rollercoaster train, flown on pigs with The Angry Birds, danced in Liquorice labs in Lollipop castles…chilled for some time on the sand in Captains Cove, had tea at Goldilocks’ house in Storybook land…Met the Three Little Pigs, fell off the wall with Humpty, followed the Yellow Brick Road, tinkered in Toy Town, let the kids ‘drive me for wine’ in a tractor and loved every single WAKING MINUTE OF IT. The wind was in our hair, life was all around us and we loved it. We sort of felt life today.

The day ended with Ruby asking if I could buy the entire place, so she could live in it forever. IF ONLY. If Dolly Parton an have a Mini Theme park, I can have a Wunna Land. It’d be ace. I could name the worlds after my favourite cocktails. ๐Ÿ™‚ The ‘Prosecco Log Flume.’ (There’s no point to it, you just get to float around in diamond encrusted glasses, smash down the bottom of the flume and land in Prosecco. Lol. My ‘Tequila Slammer’ ride would be great. You just have a lick of salt, shoot a wormy tequila, go on the ride that just *shakes you inappropriately* until you’re ill and then suck the lime once done. ๐Ÿ™‚ *DaaaDaaaaaaaaaaaa!* ย My stop offs would be massage parlours, pap shoots and contour lounges. Let’s call the Disney Clan and tell them to shut down immediately, as they’ve no chance once I open.

We’ve honestly had THE BEST FAMILY DAY EVER. Infact, so great, that we all passed out in the back of the car….aaaaall the waaaay home. ๐Ÿ™‚

Hope you venture to Sundown, as The Wunna Babies and I will be spending a lot more time there this year! ๐Ÿ™‚

However, if you think my Sunday *pauses* here… you’d be wrong. You have another blog coming this evening…as I’m about to get everything ready to shimmie down to Manchester tomorrow, as I will be taking a cheeky, peeky into the world that we know as The Social Chain.


Girls in Business, Fun & Mr.Rights….


Just one of those good old, fun days, where in which you work so hard, yet play hard with it, that laughter, sass and good times simply fill the air like magic.

Today was magic!

And like i’ve always said, we kinda have to hold on to those moments of happiness, because as humans they mean so much to us. It’s those euphoric moments of ‘life is great’ that play over like a happy, slow motion, glitter flurry, that we very rarely get to experience in our lives. Those moments are like gold dust that slips through your fingers. You have to remember to open your arms and embrace the good times in work, life, love and family….whenever you experience ‘magic.’

…Then i walked into a little corner room filled with happy people, sat on cushioned window sills and comfy seats that didn’t swivel. As I did, ‘Styley B’who looked like a ‘Ken Doll’ had lifted up a chair, that was about to hit a skirting board *boingy* thing. ย The leg of the chair grazed it and as I tottered in, like a Glamour Puss Extraordinaire, the *boingy* thing had been struck, making it sound like I had let off the BIGGEST, most SATISFYING *FART* in the entire Universe, on entry. Hahahah! WHAT IS LIFE! THIS IS WHY I’M SINGLE!

Everyone just pissed themselves laughing and I stood there looking a *happy* sort of puzzled and moderately concerned because I didn’t actually know whether that *sound* had come out of Me or not??? HAHAHA.

If it did, I was going to style it out! ๐Ÿ™‚

And this was AFTER I had been asked about having my children and the ‘Paradigm’ of it all??? I didn’t know what to say and my mouth just opened as words fell out… BUT THESE WORDS….

‘Well I don’t really know?? They weren’t really planned. They kinda just happened in hotel rooms after vodka. ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ But now i have them…Yeah….It’s great, I couldn’t imagine my life without them!’ LOL.


‘Fairytale Blond’ did a jaw dropping giggle and comforted me through the pain as I sat next to her on a black and white striped, window sill cushion.

Then ‘Hot Sarah’ who once dreamt that she gave birth to a roast chicken, talked to me about a Chinese New year calendar, that I wanted her to deliver to me via the fine art of contemporary dance OR in Chinese.

‘You’re not even Chinese Chrissie!’

‘Noooooo. No words. Let your body do the talking!’ Lol.

‘Hot Sarah’ has decided that for her ‘New Year, New Her’ she’s going to dye her hair brown and wear pretend glasses, so she looks older and smarter. Haha. This is because someone said she looked 19 when she’s in her late twenties. I think?

As she said this, to my left I heard ‘Double B’ (My other chick comrade) saying,


HAHAHAHA….I Literally wet myself laughing. WHAT IS THIS TEAM????? How do I even know these people! ?! They’re AWESOME! It’s nuts wrapped in bonkers. I spend over 300 days of my year with them! No wonder i’m a tool. They’ve rubbed off on me.

‘Does anyone have a pen…?’


‘Does anyone have pain killers?’


You’d THINK headed into important meetings WE’D HAVE PENS.

‘Double B’ had a FUCKING SATSUMA. ๐Ÿ™‚

‘If i eat this, will you peel it for me Chrissie?’ย 

‘You’re 21 years old! You can peel you’re OWN fucking Satsuma!’

‘I’ve just never learnt how!’


All jokes aside…WE SMASHED TODAY. ๐Ÿ™‚ So busy! So much fun! Loads of hard work! Totally NAILED IT!

When girls do business WELL…We are SO SEXY! ๐Ÿ™‚

You know, I always think that you really need a good group of friends that you seem to accidentally spend a lot of of your time with, due to work. They keep the passion in you alive. It’s that mixture of energies, that playfully tinker alongside each other, that helps your own personality grow.

In fact it kinda makes you a better girlfriend or boyfriend. It makes dating and your people skills MUCH easier when you have a good group of friends because you firstly learn how to meander with & around different personalities and secondly you have support.

I mean we all work hard together, we go through ups, downs, boyfriends, girlfriends, Snapchat filters and all sorts. ๐Ÿ™‚ But we tell each other everything. But, I reckon the people who have a decent bundle of work buddies, who they spend a lot of time with….make better partners and better ‘other halves.’

We understand what ‘busy’ is. We’re too busy to be naggy and during our free time, we know how to unwind and have a GREAT TIME with whoever we’ve chosen to date!

Today on Twitter I was asked if I ‘had time to fall in love?’

I don’t want you to think that i’m some cold hearted ‘no love for me, too busy‘ chick. I’m not that at all. I’m warm. I’m bubbly. I love, love and like I said on Twitter, I DO HAVE TIME to fall in love and I also do hope to fall in love….You need love to iron out the stressy crinkles you go through with work. You need that one person you trust and team up with. That person you build an empire with. I completely believe that!

And YES, i’m going solo right now, but because I don’t want to ‘just settle…’ I’ve dated a lot of people who i’ve ‘just settled’ with…and it just wasn’t right, as we didn’t have the same passion for work, life or each other….really. We didn’t see the world through the same eyes, or even enjoy the same things.

When a man has found the right partner, he feels on top of the world, like he can conquer anything. He gains the heart of a lion. You can even see it in him! ย When a women achieves and feels cherished, she owns this glow of utter power and love, with a warmth and strength that can rule the entire world. You can feel it when she’s near you.

That’s what i’m waiting for….

And like i’ve said EVERY SINGLE DAY, THIS YEAR, SO FAR….

I’m not the slightest bit worried..

He’ll find me. ๐Ÿ˜‰ He’s close…






We Should All Move To Manchester & Do ‘The Robot’


YOU HAVE 34 DAYS LEFT OF 2016! Yes you do! Yes you do!ย And it is SO important that you make the MOST of these last 34 days that we have. If you’ve worked hard all year, embrace the last jolly days of the year with fun, silliness and rummy cocktails. Give yourself a break. If you’ve been a total waster all year :)…take this time to maybe put together a better and more productive plan for the year ahead. If you’ve suffered from breakups, enjoy love. If you’ve been loved up…commit to independent good times. WE WILL ALL START NEW CHAPTERS in 34 days!

But more importantly, YOU ALL HAVE MY BIRTHDAY TO SAVE UP FOR, ๐Ÿ™‚ so start emptying those piggy banks and gathering those coppers, as i have me a list that could roll out and blanket half the entire universe with glitter. Lol. (The fact that i’m actually kidding hurts me. If ONLY life was as simple as a ‘get me’ list. It’d make things so much easier. I guess i don’t focus as much on ‘stuff.’ Don’t get me wrong, I do love ‘stuff.’ I have a lot of stuff and i adore it all. But now that i’m in this certain position that i’ve found myself in life, experiences are important to me, as they create memories, thoughtfulness i always find sexy, so you can go far with me with that one…and well the things that i actually want or need for my birthday, if birthdays were magical and THEY ARE, are things that people wouldn’t be able to buy for me, as they are things that i’d have to work for and find….myself.) BUT DO SEND ME STUFF. I LOVE STUFF. It makes me think you care.

I’ve done so much this weekend that i don’t even know where to begin. Swung out of work on Friday, after we all decided that we all have everything else, in life be it babies, love, or whatever it is that ‘tree huggers’ harp on about, that matters…and that the only things we all have missing is SHIT LOADS OF CASH. I work really hard and i’m grateful for the little things, the big things, family, love, life and all sorts, but don’t you get me wrong, i am a girl who strongly BELIEVES that money matters. It makes life better. Not just easier. Yes you need balance. But with the money that you’ve made, you can do all of the things that you WANT to do in life. You can LIVE without having to make sacrifices. And in this current day and age…being able to do that, is down to an accumulation of dosh. IT MAKES A BIG DIFFERENCE. Then i remembered that i promised a girl that i’d be her lesbian girlfriend, if i didn’t find love by 40 and left to start the weekend on a high note.

Anyway. This weekend i was in a random bar in Manchester, (i’ve been going to Manchester a lot, spend almost half my time there. ) I can’t even to this moment remember what this bar was called? It wasn’t one of the usual popular cocktail bar haunts, that i’m quite the fixture at, yet just some place that you run into to stay out of the cold, for one quick one, before your get to your bouji destination.

Now, i don’t know what happened? But one drink ended up being loads and my chick friend seems to be able to guzzle drinks down like some kind of booze baboon. Everyone was around us, everyone wanted to chat to us, it was like a fun, Christmas blur of the best good times ever. People, laughter, music ATTENTION. ๐Ÿ™‚ I’d been explaining to her that she wasn’t an alcoholic, because my friend Sarah and I had come up with the conclusion over salads, that even though we have a drink every night, we are DEFINITELY NOT alcoholics, because i once met a guy who opened his door to me in cold sweats, pj bottoms, looking like he was about to die, with his ENTIRE BODY SHAKING from withdrawal symptoms, to the point where he couldn’t speak for shaking and she once saw a guy falling about drunk at 8am one morning, who then went on to take off his shoe and puke in it. I’ve never puked in a shoe, or shook in pj bottoms in a sweat…Means i’m not an alcoholic. ๐Ÿ™‚

Long story short, i let my rubbish tool of a personalityย and good timesย get the better of me and before you know it i had gotten myself involved in this comedy dance off, with some random dude who was trying to make me commit to such foolery. The way my friend tells it is like this:

‘She sort of just started giggly moon walking backwards into a crowd, with her boobies and BOOM she turned around, the crowd had parted and she found herself involved in this bizarre Manchester dance off. YET unlike a normal human being, she didn’t just politely walk off with a smile, SHE FUCKING COMMITTED TO IT. And i couldn’t piss myself more.’

From my point of view, i knew i was going for it mid moonwalk, as fuck it, we need silly fun times to feel alive. I only have 34 days left of the year. ๐Ÿ˜‰ I just didn’t realize how intense my opponent was. Lol. I thought it was going to be a laugh! Not the flipping ‘Britains Got Talent’ finals. Then my Pride kicked in and i couldn’t be shit, even though i was laughing it off…so i went for it. I went for it like a dickhead who over tries on the karaoke, when they can sing a bit, but ย can’t actually sing that great, however, they think the can. That was me…in some bar…in boobs…in my House of CB dress…in Manchester.

He was popping and locking and busting and thrusting. He was all over it, but kinda shit too. So it made my job easier, as the crowd focused on looks and the funnest being and i totally won that war. ๐Ÿ˜‰ I went for it. Then i had him, because there’s only a point where in which a guy an actually contain himself, around a girl who has all her focus upon him and is BEING EXTREMELY SEXY & FLIRTY TO WIN infront of him, in the form of gyratey dance moves. ๐Ÿ™‚ After that point, testosterone kicks in and all sorts happen to their ‘parts’ and their minds and BOOM they become weak.

I could see him thinking it through mid body pop…

‘Does she fancy me? Would i actually be able to get my end away? Nooo, she just wants to the win the dance off? Wait? Does she fancy me?’ย 


He lost his cool, he ended up falling to pieces, I WHOPPED OUT ‘THE ROBOT!’ Yes, i didn’t even know i could DO ‘The Robot’ but i committed to the basic yet fulfilling art of it, like a demon.

Everything *paused* and like i was Rocky Balboa, the crowd cheered and I won the Dance Off. He even offered to buy me a drink afterward, but I smiled, patted him on the back and tottered off. Then I tickled away to Tattu as it was so much better than hooligans and boners in bars. LOL. I’ve done lots this weekend. I’ve been everywhere, Manchester, Doncaster, Leeds. I hit The Botanist the other evening in Leeds with friends. I feel like i’ve lived a little.

It’s weird, as even though there’s this very apparent ‘up for a laugh’ adventure streak in me…there’s an odd swirl of sophistication that dances around with that…I’m a hard chick to read. Most people get it wrong. But i hope you don’t.

The next morning i was back with the babies, doing Santa’s Grotto’s at The Frenchgate shopping centre in Doncaster, we did Toy R Us, lunches, we did the Prosecco Pit Stop ๐Ÿ™‚ , lights, rides, fun, CHRISTMAS and I pretty much gave them the most wonderful weekend that we have probably ever had as a family, in a really LONG time. I spoilt them rotten. I let them have whatever they wanted, do whatever they wanted and just live. (They’re not crazy, so it wasn’t so hardcore.) But they loved it so much because they’re eyes beamed when they smiled at me and their little Wunna hearts beated with excitement. You could just SEE that they felt so special, which made so happy.

The evening was spend in pj’s cuddling up, by the Christmas tree, watching telly and eating popcorn.ย BLISS! Even though i’ve been out and about, i’ve been blessed with so much of the very best family time.

This morning, i had ‘Daddy drop off’s.’ Like I’ve always said, Pete, Keiran and I co/parent so well with one another. We have our ups and downs, but the thing we have in common is the one thng we focus on and that’s the love of our children. I mean this morning, Ruby, Junior, My Mum, Keiran and I did breakfast at Ackworth Garden Centre, which was a place that was filled with love and Christmas. The kids LOVED IT. I loved it as i got to banter with old friends.ย And Keiran loved it as he felt part of a family. There was something about him today that made me want to care for him, as i guess when you’re the Dad part of the ‘separated parents’ malarky, Christmas isn’t as fun. On my end, it’s busy and joyous, exciting and wild. The babies are everywhere and we’re enjoying it loudly with bells on. Today he was happy, we got along great, but he had something missing from his soul…and that was everything that i had…The family. He misses it. I know him better than anyone…he misses it. He’s watching the kids grow up and that’s hard on him. He’s watching me grow…and that’s hard on him. He’s not a bad guy, bless him.

Always one to make people cheery, with smiles and laughter I looked at him and said,

‘Gosh! You’ve got to put a tree up Keiran. You don’t hate Christmas. You LOVE Christmas. You love getting gifts! You have Ruby and Junior! You can come spend Christmas with us. It’s not just another day. You’re not alone!!’

After that we laughed, chatted, played with Ruby and Junior and did the baby exchange. Then Ruby, my mum and I, met my dad and brother for lunch together at The Mallard. Where i did wine. Yipppeee!

Right now, i’m in a Fox Onesie and i don’t even know how that’s happened?? I was moderately moany about it at first…Yet now that my boilers broken and not getting fixed until tomorrow, the Fox onesie is a marvel.




Last Night, Respect & Boys


Worked all ย day, which was fun but oddly difficult, seen as I’m on this utter and complete mode of ‘I only have to do this 7 more times’ doss! I’m silly by nature. Naughty by nature…for humour and innocent, playful kicks…not for the bad of mankind. I’m far too lazy to be evil. It’s takes too much squinting and really…as we know, it totally gives you wrinkles. I’m actually a pretty decent gal, which again shocks people magnificently. LOL. (The package is good. A guy once described me as that, in Hollywood, whilst we were sat in some black car.) However, yes…when it comes to work and when it comes to bowing out gracefully from one chapter and strutting through that glass revolving door, into a new chapter, in pinstripes…your fingers crossed and an excited, yet sassy smile in your eyes…you’ve just got to let your bun out and have some fun for the last few pages. (My boobs are feeling funny? It’s Tuesday night. I’m sat blogging braless on my sofa…and i’m definitely needing a boob top me up. They’ve gone normal after babies.)

Simple day. Fun banter with Chloe about boys. Still have hurting calves from wearing heels all Saturday, meant to be planning a leaving do and thanking God for this Mojito in a can. I’m feeling like i want to prank people, but i can’t. I NEED A MASSAGE. I mean GOD, everyone wants to fly me out to Bermuda and all sorts…but no one wants to treat me to a fricking rub down. Lol. I would literally let anyone, even your pervy Uncle, rub me down at this point. Massages are a Godsend and i used to have them every week. The reason why i find them so sexy is not simply because they are therapeutic…y’know and they keep your blood circulating. BUT when a guy…a guy? Lol. A someone…anyone…(apart from that evil Chinese woman in Camden, London, who broke every bone in my body to calming pan pipe music lol..bitch)…yes…anyway…when a being touches your skin and beings to massage an area of your body, ALL the nerve endings in your body, directly under the palm that is massaging you, come ALIVE! Hoe sexy is that! Hoe? HOW!! You can tell i’m sexually frustrated!! HAHA. I find that exhilarating.

I need that….now.

So yeah, pay for a video message from me, a this, a that, a flight to Bermuda…or just don’t and instead massage me…pronto…and bring a skinny cappuccino with you ‘bitch.’ ๐Ÿ™‚ (Private joke.)

It’s life simple pleasures that I enjoy…and diamonds. ๐Ÿ˜‰ I enjoy simple with extravagant luxury. LOl. It’s ย tough one.

Got new nails, they’re amazing. Life is good! I spent the evening chatting to Cloughey the evening before last. (I don’t know why people are in a huff about that, as surely we as humans can chitter to anyone we choose? Lol. Well i can anyway. I’m a swine for doing what i think is right for me. But shouldn’t everyone!!! I’m good at listening. But good at taking advice…when i respect the person. If i don’t respect you…i’ll just do my thang…but still politely listen, nod and smile. ๐Ÿ™‚ Quite rude actually. HAHAH. That’s how Ben, Keiran…all of them lost their fight with me…when i stopped respecting them….even though i totally respect Keiran now. Yet years have passed. We’re tight now!)

All was well and we were about to plonk cherries on it all..then I drove to the local car garage, Autoserve in Ackworth, (Love James) to get air pumped into my tyre. (He gets that i’m a bimbo when it comes to car knowledge. He respects me for that, with a ‘you’re just a girl’s girl,’ and he gets on with fixing my car. There’s no point in him telling me the car jargon, as i’ll just blank stare him and he knows it.) Anyway, he pumped air into my tyres…I booked to buy two new ones for tomorrow. I realized that i had run out of petrol. I drive to the nearest petrol pump and ‘BOOM,’ with a ‘WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT,’ from a guy.. stood pumping fuel on the other sideย of lifeย ๐Ÿ˜‰ …my tyre burst!

I ended up having to make Autoserve come get it, love it, nurture it and do me new wheels tomorrow whilst i’m at work…and drop it off. I went to The Angle to have a wine, as I waited for my Mum to pick me up. The Angel’s lovely. I haven’t been there in ages. I must go lunch there sometime. I’m such an ‘Ego’ whore. (As in the restaurant…and not my massive head.)

All my LA friends are making me jealous, as they’re snapchatting their lives at me. They all also have no clue as to why i’m even single? I’m on little news comments, blogs, feeds and radio stations…because i’m single. At least they don’t get why and are blaming it on the UK boys. ๐Ÿ™‚ HAHAH. Could be worse!

I know exactly what i’m looking for in a guy and i know when i’ve found it and when i haven’t. And i also believe in not changing a human to fit your ways and letting them be them…you’d love them regardless, right?

Guys are now offering to pay me to take me out on dates? I have an ‘i’m ignoring them’ inbox full. Save your dosh. If i don’t fancy you, i won’t go on one. If i do..then i’ll chat to you about everything and meet up with you when i should. I’m too lazy to chat to a hundred boys at a time. I can’t be arsed. I need a connection and i think i’ve found one? Plus, even though you’re not doing it rudely…i’m not escorty at all. I want to find the man of my dreams here…Innit! You’re meant o come striding in with all Knight like and romantic…not with a boner and a wallet. (Does help though. HAHAA.)

I have the whole weekend off and i can’t wait.

Right, back to bed with the babies…They’re both in mine, after the ‘double bangs’ last night. They’re terrified. I have great kids. Ruby’s a mini me. She’s a tough cookie, but filled with love. Junior’s the playful version of me…he’s soooo kind and filled with laughter. For example, the other day when both Dads brought them into my work…Ruby said, ‘Look at all this stuff that I got Daddy to buy me!!!’ Junior saw me carrying a bunch of breakable things at once and said, ‘Daddy, let’s help her carry them.’ ๐Ÿ™‚

Single mummying rocks!







Growing Up, Saving Up & Diets


Gosh! I’ve been eating like a piglet, a ‘chubba’…a Hungry Hippo on a period. I want it to be Summer and although i’m enjoying this Spring weather…(light nights, brisk, bright mornings,) as it leads us into a super hot June…my body is just not ready for it. It’s all kebabs and burger meat. I need fruit, salad and watching my weight to occur.

I’m just being a girl, but I am one, so i have an excuse…but the back of my thighs are all wibbly and orange peely. They’re having a giggle and my expense…literally whilst I walk. And even though I find it funny, as now that i’m old, i’m far less body conscious, as you just have to let nature take it’s course, you can’t be thirty something, with babies and expect to have the body of a 19 year old and men who expect that are tools. Women shouldn’t feel under pressure and if you’re in the right relationship, with the right guy, you won’t. He’ll love you anyway. Isn’t it gross when you hear boys boast about it their ‘young girl or cougar’ bonks. Like they’re willies are much bigger now. But whenever you see a fifty year old man with a 20 year old girlfriend….it shows you his level of insecurity and her level of ‘need dosh.’ ๐Ÿ™‚ It also show the exact same, when you flip the coin! Don’t get it twisted.

Women are beautiful anyway and when their beauty or body fades, you better hope to God that her personality is worth it, as that’s all your left with when you’re growing old together. Lol.

Diet starts today, though, so forget all that!! HAHAHAH. Why do we always want to look good? Or at least look the best we can??? So bizarre???

I’m saying all this, but i’m finally at a stage, like I said in a previous blog where in which i’m actually so content and peacefully happy that i couldn’t give a ‘monkies’…and that’s not like me. I’m competitive, ambitious, annoying and thirsty for life, achievement…great bodies, love and all sorts.ย So, i’m either old and losing my touch, or growing up and sensible now.

You decide? (I need to snap out of it and make bras out of coconut shells.)

I love that exactly a year today…as in LAST YEAR, I was doing this….

Like this..


My little Emily Woodcock. (Who’s now moved to Bermuda, to live with her handsome partner Mark. THEY MET ON TINDER. I know! Amazing!)

And now i’m all chilled and calm, being ‘Mama,’ handing out my knitting needles and giving out good advice to randoms who think i chat shit. ๐Ÿ™‚

I like it. It’s makes me smile. Fun is only good, when you’re with the right people. Fun with the wrong people ruins everything.

How are you all doing with your money saving goals? I’m still doing my savings chart thing… It was my New Years resolution, lots of people are doing it, or a versionย of it, where in which you put ยฃ1 into savings on week one, ยฃ2 on week two etc….I’ve now saved up around ยฃ40 (lol) whoopppeee! (Some are doing it with a penny isntead of a pound and that’s still great!) It’s a good feeling, as by the end of the year, I would’ve conjured up an extra ยฃ1300 or something near that?

I’m budgeting. I’m not spending nearly as much and i’ve had things like ‘do’s,’ birthday parties…all sorts. I’m giving myself a weekly budget and i’m loving saving up. Once it’s in there, you CANNOT TOUCH IT.

Life is much easier when you accumulate first,before you spend. That way you’re never living from paycheck to paycheck and having to go back to zero each time. If you can take time out of ‘fun’ or spending for a while…and gather your fine earned pences….(yeah life is a bit dull for a bit, but worth it in the long run,) then your plain sailing…aka HAPPY!

Get Saving!!!



Work ‘it’ Wednesdays, Fairy doors & Family


Happy Wednesday!!!

This is the part where i get all my days muddled up, as my Tuesday is my Monday, which totally throws me off track.

But yes, last night was great. It was quiet, but it was great! The rubbish part was that i felt fluey (don’t we all, so I won’t whop out a ‘pity party’ ) AND my ankle is well and truly busted. I honestly can’t walk on it when i get home, to the point that I have to make like i’m in the Bahamas and walk around my home in FLIP FLOPS, the entire time. And WEDGE flip flops at that! It’d be alright if i wasn’t all hibbly. I don’t strut at all and we all know how much that devastates me.

For tea, I ended up having handfuls of bombay mix. Tragic. But only because i used my time chitter chattering with Junior. I work so much that I never get as much quality time with the babies as I want. (Hence why i need to win the lottery, so i can stay at home and be a normal Mum.) Yet, we laid in bed, watching Peppa Pig and then we chattered all about his day. He’s a cheeky one, so he cracks me up, as his world is just filled with laughter and beams. He’s so random and so hilarious. Ruby is obsessed with her fairy door right now, so the fact that we have fairies living in our home, that write and leave her magical notes or little gifts every single morning, makes her world complete. Nothing is better than that sort of ‘magic.’ I secretly get really into it, as there hasn’t been a day YET, where in which I have forgotten my ‘fairy’ duties. I mean, just watching her be so excited and feel a sense of purpose each morning, because of this magical fairy door, makes me giggle, but makes me feel alive.

Don’t just have bombay mix for dinner. It’s shit and I swear i’m getting my stress rash.

Anyway, I hope you have a decent Wednesday…Tuesday…whatever day you want it to be. ๐Ÿ™‚

Get to it, enjoy it….LIVE.

New Vlog, Blogging, Love or Money


So, I heard on the radio today that around 82 percent of people in Yorkshire, would rather have a lottery win, than find their true love. Can you believe it? I mean, I’m in a solid relationship, so i’d never place a donkey of dosh in front of it. (I don’t think? ๐Ÿ˜‰ Lol. ) But there are times, probably in every single moment of every day, ….where in which i say ‘I wish I won the lottery.’ So I completely and utterly get it. Yet, how messed up have we become? It’s surely meant to be love that makes the world go around…and not little bits of printed paper that can buy us things like freedom, a fast car, a girl, or our dream house? Money definitely makes the the journey much easier, as it reduces the normal stress of life, it oils the cogs and relieves us of panic.Yet when that becomes the focus…and we’re wishing it grew on trees because of fear…then we’re fucked. So, if you do anything today, don’t worry about any financial stress you may have and just enjoy love. Tell the people you’re meant to care for, that you do. We forget to do that always. I mean, I posted the Lady Gaga ‘i’m quitting music’ speech to my Facebook wall today…and everything she said was right and mattered. She’s living proof that you can have EVERYTHING financially and not be happy, until you see life for what it’s for and the things that truly matter.

Okay, away from that. I’ve filmed my Vlog and it terrified me. This time around, it’s a little long, and i shook like a leaf all the way through it. It’s just so weird, because i’m really good when i have a camera in my face, yet when it’s Vlog time, I panic and get all nervous. Blogging is far less terrifying. (Ben is currently annoying me by AGAIN, trying to talk to me ALL THE WAY THROUGH my fricking blog. He pines for attention when he doesn’t think he has it. Lol. It’s like having a puppy, an annoying one, that’s just had a ‘Harvey Wallbanger’ in a can and wants you yo play with it. ๐Ÿ™‚ )

Hope you enjoy it though and hope you all start showing ‘cocktails in a can’ some love.

Here you go…Take a peeky..

Tonight, we’ve had a fresh coconut juice night! Remember that I blogged about how shite trying to crack open a coconut was…well Marks and Spencer have come up with a plan…and it’s a real life coconut, that you can ‘ring pull’ open like it’s a can of pop! I know! You then just jab the ‘given to you with the coconut’ straw in the top and Bob’s your Uncle, Mary’s you’re Aunt. You have fresh coconut juice on tap. (Ruby loves it. Junior hates it.)

The babies have actually been amazing tonight. Junior came back from nursery a bit feisty. Yet he always comes back from his Dad’s a bit more feisty, i never know why, yet i’m sure he’s fine? His speech has come on threefold though. He’s so chatty now, that i can’t believe that i’m actually watching him grow right before my own little Asian eyes. Amazing! I love it. It makes Mama happy. Ruby’s just a Mini Me, so in my eyes, a doll. Lol. To be honest, I couldn’t be more proud of her, as she is soooooooooooo keen on school and learning, that it sort of makes me feel like i’ve done an alright job and being Mum.

I’m currently having a Pina Colada and Ben’s listening to ‘Top Five Worst Singers’ on Youtube and every single one of them are my favourite artists and songs! HAHAHA. We’re giggling and right now life just seems soooooooooo lovely. (I want to win the lottery. Lol.) ‘Your cock or mine’ was again my top search today for this blog. Ugh! I’m really not a tranny. I’m a real life girl. (Honest!)




Goolies, Newspaper Interviews & Peppa Pig

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Dolls! Gents! Kittens!

Happy Wednesday! (Well, I think it’s Wednesday? Is it Wednesday?)

I’m currently en route to work and i’m already as busy as a bee. My days are filled with work and my nights are filled with babies, and in between i’m blogging, vlogging, filming bits, errand running, auditioning and interviewing. It’s a lot, but i’m loving it. And, i’m getting lots and lots…and LOTS of messages from all of you, with your own fabulous Blogs, Vlogs and internet shows, who are wanting, well politely asking me to ‘share’ and Retweet, your links to Wunna Land followers…and I will, don’t worry….I’m just being busy and spending my free time with the babies…. (Plus, this week, i’m on promo for my New Vlog and this blog also) so it’s hard to wedge it all in. However, I haven’t forgotten…just so you know. )

Thank GOD, i did wine last night!

So, yes, I worked all day. Ben and I have pretty much gone onto work and promo mode, where we’re filming our own little things, constantly, editing and plonking them up for you to enjoy. *Add children. Add day job.*

But, no matter what two nights ago, he still managed to find the ‘executive’ time to find Ruby’s blue balloon pump, sit crossed legged next to me and in the name of ‘his own sense of humour,’ wedged it by my nipple and pretend *pump* up my boobies. I’d never seen him so flipping happy. Lol. I’m quite well humoured by such, so it was actually a hilarious moment. Until, and like boys do, (they take it too far) and well he started pumping up my *Lady part* (I don’t have a willy) at that point…laughing hit *pause.*

Then he got shouted at.

Yesterday, most of the day was dedicated to winding people up with Danielle, for kicks. It worked. We ended up accidentally making people cry for being bitches. (We think we’re funny. But we’re obviously just evil.) But whatever, they cried by champagne truffles, so life can’t really be that bad. Then smores (that got messed up) were made and the world turned back to ‘rosy.’

The late afternoon, was dedicated to talking about goolies and how some boys may have a ‘smelly set.’ It must be odd being a boy, and strutting with a pair of *hangers* in between your legs? When we reached the part of goolies, being stuck to legs, the conversation had to stop and we returned to being lovely once more..and continually smelling of ROSES.

(This was even sober talk.)

Great night with Junior last night. He’s such a gem. I adore him. Ruby is my Mini Double and although she waves the flag for ‘Diva Independence,’ she’s still my bambino and i couldn’t love her any more than I do.

Whatever happened on Celebrity Big Brother last night, must have been a hoot, as everyone was talking about it, but i missed it as Junior was watching ‘Peppa Pig.’

All I know is that Tiffany and David Bowie’s Ex Wife, Angie..we’re Tv Gold. I need to *Plus one* it and see it all over again. (Gay Adam sent me snippets of it, to my phone. Love Gay Adam.)

But yes, I actually did a interview with ‘The Sun (if you’re not British and you do not know,w hat that is…it’s a Popular, UK newspaper.) They text me, whilst I was at work yesterday and asked if I’d do one of their features. I agreed. It’s only tiny…but i’m happy.

When I got home, I was stood in the kitchen, doing my ‘Sun Newspaper,’ interview, as Ben watched ‘Peppa Pig’ with Junior upstairs.. Then once I was done…and it only took half an hour in my kitchen, I rushed upstairs to watch ‘Peppa Pig’ with Junior, whilst Ben thundered downstairs, to quickly film the rest of his Vlog, so he could upload it that evening.

Madness! But we did it.

See, how productive, we’re being this year!

Anyway, have a great Wednesday! You’re all pretty sexy! x

Playboy, Horror Feet & A bit of Sex & the City


I’m currently watching Sex and the City 2, in my comfies, with a wine and my sexy (hideiously awful) feet.

Honestly, my ankles and feet are busted and no not from heels…girls can do anything in heels…apart from go to the seaside in them, as once there Nick (who took me to the seaside out of boredom,) forced me to wear flip flops and it was the purest bliss in all the land. Heels and sandy British beaches, followed by cobbles, don’t at all go. It’s like trying to walk on top of jelly, in stilts. My feet are *ouchy ouchy* right now, to the point where you could honestly film a horror movie on them and win some kind of Academy award. *Trophies all around.*

The babies are in bed. Ben’s out celebrating Dodge’s ‘happy birthday,’ I’m at work in the morning…and well…I think i’ve watched Sex and the City soooooooooo much in my life, that it’s played itself out on my soul. (But I do prefer the movies to the shows, now…as the show seem to only last 3 seconds.) For any Glamour puss…it totally makes excellent background noise. (As does ‘House Bunny.’)

I’ve just read that The Playboy Mansion is up for sale for 200 million dollars, or something? Apparently it’s classed as a ‘tear down’ because it’s condition is shabby, but because of it’s history….the price goes UP. The hilarious thing about it, is the fact that if you buy it, for 200 million, you have to allow Hef to still live there? Lol. AND when people are touring the mansion, in order to see if they fancy buying it….they’re allowed to see every single piece of this Mansions history, except Hef’s bedroom. So LORD KNOWS what he’s got in there. Or maybe, everyone’s just being creepy, as really when you’re 80 something years old and a bit of a big deal…you kinda wouldn’t want people to be mooching around your knicker drawer, would you? He should downgrade and move to one of the bungalows in Pontefract.

I’m definitely loving every inch of this bombay mix, i have. I’m craving sushi and now, as i’ve watched Ruby go to bed…I fear for her future Lol and simply because she’s just like me. I mean, GOD, if I think of all the things that i’ve had to go through in life, when i’ve had to be brave, savvy or lucky…and all of those moments were highly dodgy situatons, that were dipped in luxury…it terrifies me, because not one teeny piece of me, would ever, ever EVER want her to have to go through the same. (I’m guarding her with my life.)

Ugh, my toes kills and are awful.

Right, nothing more to say!

I’m at work tomorrow. So more wine for me and a chill fest!

Thank you for following my life!

*Wiggle, giggle, hip bump, pout, hair toss, strut.*