Writers Block, Jiggles & That Little Bit Of Saffron

Dear Diary,

I have CRAZY WRITERS BLOCK! It’s awful! I mean, so much has gone on in the last few days, the last few weeks..that I don’t even know where to begin? I’ve been through changes. Great changes and i’m exactly where I want to be. Yet, I guess changes are always alarming on the old kitty system at first, aren’t they? Well until you get used to them.

It can be new starts, new chapters, new cities, new jobs, new relationships, new friends, new anything…They’re all great…Yet your soul jiggles about a bit, until you feel settled. Once you do settle…you become alive…you’re on fire. So, like myself, if you’re experiencing anything NEW, know that you’re fine, it’s good for you and when the ‘Jiggles’ settle, you’ll be dandy as prosecco pour!

HURRAH!

I have writers block.

I don’t know if it’s because my heads a bit of a muddle, like I said so much has gone on, all wonderful, yet still alarming? But my brain needs to *bloom* and hurry up with the blooming process…Lol, as right now it’s a bud and it’s closed tight!

All I know is that i’m happy. So that’s good going, isn’t it! And I haven’t done Dry January..and that’s also good going. 🙂  Everyone seems to have committed to it. Yet, I can’t strap myself ‘down’ to ‘don’t.’ My will power is amazing. It’s a gift from the Girl Gods. Yet, if I fancy a vino at 7pm after a long day, I’ll have one, be it January, Wednesday or Life.

Dry Jan IS GOOD FOR YOU. So, if you’re tinkering along with *can can* kicks…WELL DONE! Enjoy being healthier. It’s fantastic.

Oh and if you still have you Christmas Tree up..TAKE IT DOWN (I’ve just seen that my chick friend ‘Hustle Barbie’ hasn’t bothered to move her ‘tinsel tree’just yet. She should. Or at least get her buff boyfriend too!

I’ve got so much to tell you. Good news arrived on Thursday. Really great career news. I have all the most wonderful collaborations, that you’ll slowly see *oozing* through Wunna Land, but I have writers block…and it’s CRAZY! I HATE IT!

BLOOM BRAIN, BLOOM!

I still haven’t even told you about my time in London with Top LA Chef Ronnie Woo. (He’s one of my best guy friends, we grew up together in LA and when he flew out to London in December to shimmie in ‘she ma bestie bestie‘ Wunna Land, we literally had the BEST time together…even though his executive suite had a random ‘cage like’ upstairs level.

Ronnie: ‘I don’t see the point to it? There’s not even a view?’

Me: ‘It’s like a bouji cage. I love it. I’m stuck in a bouji cage.’

Ronnie: ‘Let’s go take selfies and get lunch…’

[Passes me a pink champers that he had brought back from Vienna.]

But, I’ll get around to that blog.

If I go back to that evening… when I left his suite around five o clock in the evening, so he could spend some quality time with his beautiful husband Doug…. I remember being stood outside Le Meridien (the hotel,) in Piccadilly, at the busiest time possible, on the other side of the glass revolving doors, as London traffic bustled by and the skies were now navy as they turned our world to night. Stars littered the skies above me. Taxi headlights and horns flashed by and *beeped.*

I was on my phone (what a surprise) and there was a guy, who I guessed was here on business from New Jersey stood to my left..just sort of wandering around and in front of me was a random 20 something, lost, Spanish girl, who had stopped to see if I could call her also ‘lost’ boyfriend, because her phone had run out of charge.

IT’S ANNOYING WHEN YOU HAVE NO CHARGE.

Of course, I helped. I’m helpful. I try to be anyhow. Sometimes, I’m shocking at being helpful. But most of the time, I help. I had to take his number down, add it to my Whatsapp contacts and then message him, before calling him, to tell him where his girlfriend was. Lol.

She’s Spanish, lost in London and needs help. I’m a glamour puss, found in London and helping.

A bit of a ball ache, but nonetheless, I’d hope someone woud help me, if I needed help?

I’d also ordered an Uber..So I waiting for my car to arrive. That’s why I was stood outside. Of course, my Uber driver called..and the Spanish girl, her name was Carmen, thought it was her boyfriend, so answered my phone…

In fact now I remember..the Uber driver said the word, ‘Car’….and we assumed that he said ‘Carmen.’ He had called from some weird number. She spoke to him in Spanish…whilst walking away slightly… on my phone. See, i’m SO TRUSTING!

When she got back, I read a text stating that my Uber had got cancelled because I wasn’t at my pick up point, I got charged for that…and Her boyfriend magically appeared out of nowhere…

YIPPPEEE!

So yes, she was safe and I had to order another Uber back to the station. (During this time, I had my agent and my London friends all calling my phone continuously to try and meet up..)

Me: ‘Erm..Hi…Yeah, I’m kind of a little stressed out right now…I’ll call you back.’

Other end of phone: ‘But when are you back in London?’

Me: NEVER! Lol.’

Agent: ‘Hi, it’s me..I’ve submitted you for this and I need you to go meet…’

Me: ‘I need a gin.’

Then the New Jersey business man to my left, had noticed that I had been somewhat thoughtful, decided that I was ‘kind’..

‘I saw that you were kind..’

…and had also decided that I was definitely the girl of his dreams. He offered to buy me gin at the hotel bar. He plays ice hockey also, or something? It was just moment, upon moment of ‘craziness.’

YET, the best part of that whole day, other than seeing one of my oldest friends from LA, was the fact that there was a moment outside Le Meridien, where I was stood on my own, just looking through my Snapchat story.

I was WEEING MYSELF at how funny Ronnie & I had been all day!

(I actually really can’t tell you many Ronnie stories, as they’re secret secrets and his brand is much ‘cleaner’ than Wunna land. Lol. He was sick. I wasn’t. He’s back in LA now and just cooked for a whole bunch of celebrities, across the pond in Hollywood and on the telly. There you go.)

But yes, the best moment, was the moment, when I stood outside the hotel, immersed in the  busy London life….(Everyone dashed passed me, like they needed to be home immediately) and well I must’ve looked really HAPPY, because I had accidentally been LAUGHING OUT LOUD, at MY OWN Snapchat Story and I must’ve been laughing so hard (YES, i WAS BUY MYSELF AND LOOKED LIKE A LUNATIC..A GLAMOUROUS LUNATIC) because two middle aged gentleman, both business men, both dapper, both gay, both looked really important….walked up to me, like they had known me for years, saw me, stopped their ‘busy’ and said,

‘LET’S HAVE A LOOK….What are you watching?’

And just like that, we were all STOOD around my phone, for a good fifteen minutes, pissing ourselves and watching my Snapchat story.

It was a really good moment and it shows that laughter brings people together. All of us together. It’s contagious. And yeah, I know that sounds cliched, like I make cherry pies in dodgy gingham pinnies and sell them for tuppence, over the magical ‘pot of gold’ rainbow…But i’m not that way, I’m sassy. So, what i’m saying is…I mean it. 😉

Me: ‘It was total Cage Life!!’

Business Men: ‘Hahah….You are the cutest thing ever! We should grab a drink! Who’s he? He’s HOT. How do I know you?’

Moments make memories…

I’m doing alright for Writers block right now!

ANYWAY…

I’m currently sat in my car with a pink laptop on my knee, in a Little mistress Faux Fur, typing this blog out on WORD. I’ve been trying to blog for days! So any opportunity that I get to AT LEAST attempt to ‘chitter…’ I embrace.

It hasn’t worked until right now.

I have going on this week. I’ve been reading about little Saffron Drewitt Barlow, who is celebrating worldwide headlines, due to being the FIRST EVER little lady, to be registered as having TWO FATHERS and NO mother, in Britain…and I LOVE IT!! She’s 18 now and is the luckiest girl in the world.  She’s owning it! She has a wardrobe worth a million pounds, thanks to her Dads…who couldn’t love her and all her brothers and sisters more.

Image may contain: 7 people, people smiling, shoes

She gets an allowance of around FIVE THOUSAND POUNDS A MONTH, to spend on anything her heart desires. There’s a dream and she is living it! I’m loving it!

But away from that, what her Fathers Barrie & Tony have achieved is SO IMPORTANT, as they’ve fought their cause, worked hard and now made history! They’re filled with love…I adore them..madly!

Image may contain: 3 people, people smiling, people standing

It’s almost like a bouji, modern day fairytale. (There’s a magic to it! A ‘glitter.’)

Surely they adopt me? I’m marvellous! 🙂 Honestly…I am!

Can you even believe that only a few years ago, it was actually  ILLEGAL for adults, who loved one other, to ‘marry’ if they weren’t straight…let alone have a family!

It’s crazy, isn’t it! I love how much more open the world is becoming. I love that people are celebrating love, themselves and their own version of life.  I don’t think there’s anything wrong with telling the world your story. I do it every day….(When I don’t have writers block. 😉 ) 

I’m behind them all the way! The family is great! They’re so interesting! And yeah, we should absolutely celebrate a bit of Saffron! I love her! It’s magical!

Okay, i’m bored of being sat in my car now…

So, just a quick note to say THANK YOU for all the love, that i’m receiving on my ‘socials.’

I say it everyday…THANK YOU. If you’re not following my ‘Socials’ and you should be…Here are some of the pics, that you’ve missed…

No automatic alt text available. Image may contain: 1 person

Image may contain: 1 person Image may contain: 1 person, indoor

Image may contain: 1 person, standing Image may contain: 1 person, phone, selfie and close-up

It means a great deal…as i’m obviously attempting to build Wunna Land to it’s finest and your ‘love..likes…follows and website clicks’ make a HUGE IMPACT. What am I on about? MAKE ALL the impact! That’s the truth!

A thousand MORE of you ‘liked’ my Facebook Fanpage this week and in the business of blogging, that means a lot! So yes, THANK YOU, from the bottom of my kitten heart. (Glad you’re liking my pics. 😉  You’ve got some good ones tomorrow… Oh and the ‘fitting room’ situation…Is it deliberate? YES! And you, my little ‘winks’ will found out why shortly!

Right, i’m off to deal with my now ‘moderate’ writers block, to ‘food a little‘ with my Mother. The Great Wunna before me.

Hope you don’t start your juice cleanse with a Mimosa like did. Hope you don’t drink too much coffee (which is what my body lives on…) as it makes you do stupid things….faster….

Love you all. Thank you for following my life. I need to get my bloggers flow back.

Kisses,

Chrissie x

 

 

But Baby it’s Cold Outside…

;

It’s cold kittens, isn’t it? It’s ‘nippy…nippy…dooo…daaa’ and I am FREEZING. If I hate anything, I hate being cold. I’m all about the heaters being blasted on ‘FULL’ and a warm bowl of comfort food.  I can’t even DEAL with the chills of jiggery pokery, tinkering up my kitty spine. I’m far too EXOTIC to function under such circumstances.

Rubbish Friend: ‘You were born in DONCASTER, Wunna!!’

But whatever, that’s beside the point :)…. like anything ‘Ninja,’ I’m sure  IT’S IN MY BLOOD. I’m 100 percent Burmese. I spent 10 years growing up in LA! It’s all ‘warm, warm, give me some.’ It was the coldest day in all of the land, in Yorkshire today and I braced it in a Little Mistress faux fur. (I’ve over worn that Faux Fur, but it’s such a goody, that I just have to keep the roll going.)

I can’t even MOVE, when i’m cold, let alone BE USEFUL. A number of people attempted to force me useful today.  If you want me to be useful…don’t make me cold. Simples! (Radiators R’US. Live for HEAT. Let’s hang with the Fire Brigade, to make us feel warm. 😉 )

As you can imagine, I froze and pulled faces all day and….it rocked. I didn’t even do it for attention. Lol. I might have completed the COLDEST WALK IN ALL THE WORLD, with a chick named Beth.

‘Why is it so ******* COLD! I might die!!’

YET, f i’m being honest, even though the temperatures are dodgy, I kinda LOVE WINTER.

It’s more magical than Summer, isn’t it? Summer’s a fun season, but it’s a SELFISH season. In Summer, we’re all about ourselves. It’s flings and flamingos.

Winter is my favourite because, we commit to knitted jumpers, crackling fires, Gucci scarves, one more mulled wine, * pom pommed* gloves and surrender to kindness, merriment and reflection.

We cant help it.

It’s cuddles, it’s family traditions, it’s ‘Santa magic’ and glass *clinks* with your dearest friends. I love Winter. It’s my favourite. It may be cold, but whocares…I have a BIRTHDAY In 19 DAYS! I love Winter. 🙂 (All gifts appreciated. Just *volley* arm them into Wunna Land.)

So, I haven’t been able to blog over the last couple of days because I haven’t found the time. Time hasn’t found me. I’ve been working all days, most days and then being Mum, with a jolly side of sorting out the good old career. 🙂 I’m gonna shock ya.

I hope to have a really GREAT next year and if i’m gonna do that…I’m gonna have to put in the work. I have juggled and jiggled and worked my ‘pattooyi* off THIS year…and more than you would think.

NEXT YEAR, I finally get to fully celebrate life. Even though i get moments of second guessing myself, I’m feeling quite ‘swag’ about it all. It’s human nature to have doubts at times. People do make you feel bad for having doubts at times….But don’t. It’s normal. It isn’t that deep. All that matters is that you make the nerves temporary, and stiletto kick them out your way. I’m good at that. I’m really good at that. I’m really good at helping OTHERS do that!

Right now, i’m feeling pretty ‘gangsta,’ with a sophisticated, ‘Dior’ dripped strut. (Definitely did TI’s ‘You don’t know me’ video in my bedroom mirror, with a Desperado in my hand, this evening…and i don’t even CARE.)

Let’s have some fun now! It’s Christmas.

Over the last few days, i’ve been with the girls. Mel’s had a bird poo on HER ACTUAL FACE….Oh the glamour!

Me: ‘What? It’s lucky.’

Mel: ‘It pooed on my actual FACE!!’

‘Fairytale Blond’ bought burgundy jumpsuits, ‘Hustle Barbie’ received surprise and somewhat romantic Vegan packages at work, ‘Double B’ froze and referred to old peoples privates as ‘crusty bacon’ and ‘Firmmonell’ did my favourite place with ‘Big D’ via Snapchat!

‘We’re in your favourite place!!!’

Everyone else is ill. 🙂

Yipppppppppppeeee! Don’t come near me with your lergy!!

I’m going through a massive change in my life and I’m really excited. It’s weird because it proves that even when you’re old, greta things can still happen. Don’t give up hope. Age means nothing. It’s not about how many YEARS you’ve strutted, and more about HOW YOU STRUT….Make impact…it’s sexier.

At thirty six, i’m feeling really together,  but a whole lot of fun. It’s snowing outside, I have a contract beside me and I’m looking forward to Christmas.

If you didn’t know, for my birthday week I am away at the luxury Forest Cabin, with Forest Holidays. I always go there, because it’s a place of HUGE sentimental value to me. It’s one of the only places that I find peace and before a big next year, I’m gonna need that. I’ve had a great 2017. But 2018 will be much easier. I’m ready now.

I’m lucky.

This weekend I have WARM fun with Ruby and Junior planned, ‘Hustle Barbie’s birthday dinner in Leeds at Bar Soba and on Monday one of my BEST LA FRIENDS, Ronnie Woo is coming to London to lunch with me….

He’s a marvellous celebrity chef in LA and i’ll be telling you all about him soon. I can’t WAIT for Monday. I love Ronnie. He’s like a little brother to me. I’ve known him since he was 19 and at the time, we were both working a  part time job at a gym, scanning people like ‘before they were famous’ Nicole Scherzinger and Perez Hilton in for a work out. That time was such a great time in my life. Young Hollywood rocked.

But I waited a long time…and it was only now that SO MUCH is happening to me! So much, that I don’t even know where to start???

There’s lots I CAN tell you. Lots that  I CAN’T . And so much that I NEED to tell you…. BUT, right now, all  I WILL say is, that on the work front, things are really great in Wunna Land. I’ve got lucky.  It’s about to heat up…and you’ll be invited on my journey with me. ( I don’t know how this little diary got so big? Yet, I’m grateful. I don’t take anything for granted. I’m not like that. I really do thank you for reading it…even when it’s rubbish.)

I guess, I feel like i need to say that, as everyone always thinks that i’m really ‘pr’ driven and i’m not. I couldn’t be more different to that. It’s almost humourous. I mean, I’m not an idiot. I know when to ‘turn it on.’ I’m an entertainer. It’s what i do. I love to entertain. But i’m not one of these ‘robots,’ who doesn’t have a soul. I’m not a slave to it all. My soul is filled with Prosecco bubbles and brims over with winks, love and a natural ‘joie de vivre.’

At thirty six, I’m pretty much stuck in my ‘no nonsense’ ways. I’m not easily swayed. I stick to my guns and go with what I believe is morally right. I don’t play. I’m grown. And you’d know that if you met me. I’m the salt of the Earth.

And YEAH…I’m a bit glammy, sprinkled in boujiness and dashed in ‘swag.’ And YEAH, there’s a weird elegant dignity about me, with a cheeky upfront charm…. I enjoy the finer things in life and the world in general…

Yeah…i’ll agree that i’m  sassy….But unlike most, i’ll sit with you in a bar, treat you like you’re human and share a drink with you over banter.  I won’t even have to know you. I’ll love you, before I judge you….and that’s what makes me real. If i like you, i’ll smile. If I don’t.. you’ll feel it.

I’m someone who will say ‘sorry’ and not because I always think i’m wrong and that YOU’RE always right, but because I’m someone who will value my relationship with you, MORE than my ego.

*Slurps Desperado.*

People never know that about me.

I need to go…

I HAVE LOTS TO TELL YOU…

RIGHT NOW, I just can’t get it out….