Influencing Lip Balms, Nudey Balloons & I Fainted

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Mornings make me happy and they’re such an important part of the day because each time you wake up, (whether you’re fresh as a daisy, off to work, rolling some eye candy out of our bed, hungover, happy, worried, or dashing off with the kids,) you get another shot at doing life! It’s a whole new start! It feels good! We kinda take it for granted.

Just like that… everything could stop…So it’s important to remember to treasure and enjoy the things that you have… while you still have them.

Only do the things that make you happy, fall in love, take your chances, look good whilst your doing it and make your wishes and dreams come true. Build your career, build your family, never feel judged by what people think or say and live it with every inch of your soul.

(Why am I trying to sound like some life guru right now? 🙂 Let’s be real, I fainted last last whilst on the actual toilet at around 1am in the morning. Lol. Am I the only ‘glamour puss’ to ever do that?)

Now, before we all start getting in a tizzy and ringing all these panic bells. It was a comedic faint, not a ‘Call the Doctor’ faint.

My drunk chick friend had been snap chatting last night, before ‘shut eye’ and charger ‘plugins.’ 

Chick friend: ‘I’m only on 11 percent battery life now. I’m pissed. Mof sleep.’

Me: Don’t you dare wake me up, start all this *look at me, look at me, pay attention to me* thing and then just be like, fuck it i’m off to sleep, once i’m here! Lol’

I was laid in bed, fast asleep…happy as can be….and then my stomach started to kill….It hurt SO much, that I was trying to ignore it. I tried to pretend that it wasn’t actually happening, because ofcourse, when you do, and you close your eyes, whilst hiding under the duvet…it’s not! 🙂

IGNORANCE IS BLISS!

When I was 19, the guy that I was dating cheated on me and I’d walked into his home and seen him in bed with a girl…that he had ‘boned’ all night.

Yippppeee!

At the time I was devastated…OFCOURSE! But now, at 37 and after doing moderately well in life, 😉  I look back on that memory fondly, like it’s a juicy, yet comedic little burst of Wunna life memory because HE DID the ‘close your eyes, hide under the duvet and pretend it’s not happening’ thing…and in that moment, he must have REALLY shat himself. Poor sod.

He went on to try and win me back. I moved to Hollywood and married a ‘movie star.‘ 🙂

Hurrah!

How have I got this distracted!?! I’m meant to be telling you about my flipping tummy ache.

Hurt so bad (like that cramp you get in your leg that is uncontrollably painful, but just like ouchy bits of life, you have to go through it anyway…Lol.) I was trying to *swag* it out. When you *swag* something out, when no ones watching you, it’s really awkward and uncomfortable. 🙂

Got up, did a giant naked SPRINT to the loo, sat on the toilet and I don’t know what happened, but my whole body did this hot, cold, flush thing, all these yellow blurry dots, *fuzzed* over me, and I kinda just remember keeling over for a moment, losing m mind and feeling all hot and sweaty…

I woke up on the floor, after about a minute or so, right as rain, like i’d just watched a bit of telly, or had a ham sandwich…

Then I ‘naked’ walked back to bed and immediately fell asleep.

Why am I so WEIRD! THAT IS NOT NORMAL. No wonder I’ve been married so many times!!!

Dear Future Husband,

Please just love me anyway…

Look!! I look really good half naked with balloons….

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OOoooh Balloons…

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Sold? Good! Thought so! *Wiggle Wink*

But away from all that….Yesterday was a great day!

I was at a catch up meeting with ‘Big A’ from ‘House of Solo’ Magazine, minding my own business, rambling on about my life, going on about how i’m going to be getting this new amazing body….

…and as I scrolled through my email, I received a message from ‘Amy’ in regards to the Lypsyl Mirror Compact Lip Balm, that I had loved and therefore ‘influenced,’ on my socials.

I loved it so much and like I always say, when you’re an influencer you receive and try out a lot of things, be they products, places, or people….and it’s hard to fit everything into your socials….

However, I genuinely loved my mirror compact madly and was so grateful to Lypsyl, that I basically featured it on my Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat and Facebook immediately…

ALL MY SOCIALS (which you should all be following)

Yesterday….My Lypsyl Mirror Compact and I were featured in The Sun…and Fabulous Magazine…

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How good is that! I literally *SCREECHED* in the middle of Ego, at my meeting….

House of Solo, ‘Big A’ kept doing these ‘being jealous’ faces at me. Lol.

But it felt really GOOD, to have teamed up with Lypsyl (which is a huge glorious brand,) influence something and then to see it in the national press…

It felt really good!

(They’re such a wonderful team…)

I was jumping around a cocktail bar, they were jumping around their office.

Everyone was filled with excitement…

I felt like the luckiest girl in the world….and when I’m excited, i’m like a little girl. I beam!

I WILL tell you, that things in my life right now, are kinda wonderful, in ALL areas…..I know! Can you even believe it?  And whether I am or not, right now, I feel like the luckiest girl in the world…

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The Real Picture, Love & 100 Years

I’m meant to be a Baby Shower right now, but i’ve only just got home and even though Baby Junior has trotted off with Grandma, after Keiran got busy, I have a Baby Ruby almost en route home…so now…there’s no chance of me making it. (But I did get my nails done inbetween, whilst waiting. 🙂 What? I needed a treat! Hard working women and mums must always take time to spoil themselves. Lol. It’s vital. It’s sexy It’s what being a girl is all about.)

I’ve gotten all these Snapchats from ‘Double B’ and ‘Firmonnell’ moaning at me with moan selfies with tag lines that read ‘Worst friend ever’ and ‘middle fingers.’ Hahahah! But sometimes a chick’s just got to waist train and have a wine, after a stressy day. (Dear, ‘The Mighty’ please blame Keiran. 🙂 )

Lots happened from my trip from destination A, which was Doncaster to my journey to the ‘didn’t get there’ Baby Shower. I got heavily distracted. Firstly, a stranger stopped me (I get stopped a lot) and told me that her husband had left her and she was now a single mum of two and had no one because she had moved over from Vietnam and life was a struggle. I was getting my nails done and I just looked up at her and promised her that it was going to be okay…

‘But I don’t have anyone???’ (This has all JUST happened to her.)

Again, I just looked up at her, knowing that I had been in her exact same heels, with a new born and a 2 year old at the time….and promised her, that as long as she didn’t panic and she held her head up high, saw what was ahead and got on with it, she would be more than fine.

‘The three years on.. version of you, is really different to the right now version of you, I promise & I know that isn’t helpful at all because it seems so long away and i know that you’re going through a lot of pain, but I promise you, the worst thing you could do right now, is let yourself down.’ 

Then she walked away to deal with her own life path, as I had my nails dried off and I sauntered up, after payment and tottered quickly to get to the Baby Shower.

Distraction occurred.

‘Chrissie, I love your blog, I’m reading it every day. Please pop in here with me and let me buy you a drink..’

I had a Desperado. Oops! But it’s just so hard when someone stops you to tell you how inspired they are by you, to just say ‘Hi’ and leave and when they THEN offer you booze. Lol. What! I had to go chatter to her for a little bit. 🙂

The funny thing about the moment was that, as we sat down…some old guy started shouting over…

Bloke: ‘Ere, you. What would you do if I told ya, I fancy you right now?’

Me: ‘I’d say, you have a wedding band on…’ (First thing a girl looks at boys..and secondly, do not beckon a girl with the words ‘Ere you.’ Haha.)

Bloke: ‘It’s just a ring though, just a ring. I’m single all day long.’

I mean, why bother being so stupid? It was like some bravado show of numptiness.

Yes. It is just a ring, but it’s a ring that symbolizes the love that you have, for the girl that you’ve chosen to build your life with. If it’s just a ring, then don’t do the whole ‘vowy thing.’  You should NEVER be turning around in a bar telling some glammy chick from the Orient, that you’re ‘single all day long,’ with a wedding band on.

It doesn’t make me scorn you, or brand you a cheater, like i’m a teen or a young twenty something. It simply makes me think that you’re lost…and when I’m looking for my Mr.Right, he’s NOT LOST. He has the map, printed directons AND his emotional Sat Nav turned on. He sees me across a crowded room, he’s done his research, he makes a bee line for me and then he makes me HIS, with a click of the old charm and  just like that, I’m swept off my feet.

NOT…

He’s really pissed in a bar, probably just has a fight with his wife and then hits on the nearest girl because he feels it will make him mighty again…yet as he still has his wedding band on. Lol

I left then…and said ‘thank you’ to the blog reader.

But then as I looked down, on my totter, I saw that one of my best LA life friends had posted on Twitter. Brandon and I go back decades and I love him dearly. We’ve done so much together and we’ve been lost and found in Hollywood all at the same time whilst growing up. I adore Brandon. But boy has he been going through some shit.

Brandon Perkins was travelling to JFK Airport, New York from Aeroporti di Roma – Roma Fiumicino.

3 hrs · Fiumicino, Italy ·

‘My life story, especially in the last year, would be a dream for Hollywood writers. Watching italy disappear below the clouds, my life chapter in italy slams closed… and I have no idea what is next, but I KNOW it will be better…’

He had sent me a Facebook message to come see him in Italy, but I just didn’t have time and then he sent me another message which delivered the stress and pain he had been going through…I replied to that….

Today he made a decision….and with ALL OF MY KITTEN SOUL, I back you ALL THE WAY ON IT. I want you to get back to LA and as soon as i’m free, i’ll come see you. I promise. (Like when we were kids and I climbed ontop of that roof with you, just to make you smile on Halloween, as we sat and drank Mango Margaritas on your apartment roof, under the moon. Hahaha! I like that I was dressed as a Slutty cave girl and I liked that we *kissed* to decide if you were absolutely gay or straight! Lol.)

That kinda  made my mind take a detour from the Baby Shower. I got to a point where my totter just stopped and I just paused…Kinda like when Forrest decides to just randomly stop running….

You know, there is SO much going on in this world and this is YOUR LIFE. Your tiny dot on this planet matters…and you really can do whatever you want with your life without fear, as it’s all you actually have, without it everything stops. Be who you want, say what you want, work hard, but love harder. Be true to you, be a success, yet manage to smell the roses. I say that all the time and because I need to remind myself.

FALL IN LOVE. It’s so important. But with the right human who enchances your soul. Build a world. An empire. A family. But enjoy every second of it. The moment you don’t enjoy something, change it.

I always say to people, even Ruby my own little girl, that we are given 100 years (if we’re lucky) to live the best and most happiest version of life, that we decided for ourselves.

Don’t sweat the little things that don’t matter and make sure the big things make you smile.

There are gzillions of us on this massive Earth Ball trying to do life….

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…and we life all different versions of it.

No matter what version you choose to live, make sure that version of life makes YOUR SOUL feel at peace and fills your world with happiness.

Lots of love,

Chrissie x

 

 

 

 

 

 

Love, Sausage Rolls & Fox Onesies

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Well the Fox Onesie Selfie got out of hand didn’t it! My Facebook inbox went a bit silly and my comment list got a bit ‘excited.’ My Twitter tweeted and my instagram message box filed in all sorts. It was kinda meant to be fun, funny and a bit slutty. Lol. Not a way to beckon in madness. Yet whatever! I loved it! i was in a Fox Onesie. Some of you were lovely. my Ponte guy friends jumped to my rescue and you’ll always know who they are during mass ‘comment’ parades as they will be the boys that I always reply to beause i actually know them in real life. Haha. They’ve known me since i was 17, they see me all the time, we’ve all been out loads at some point about town. They’re great!They’re hilarious and will either make fun of me, themselves and well as it was today…YOU! But only if you’re being pervy or if you accidentally set yourself up to be mocked. Even my mum *jumped* in with ‘yadda yadda’ today. I think she called someone a ‘pervert’ because he’s Father’s friend and typed something that was moderately inappropriate! Lol. My inbox kinda made me ‘withdraw,’ as it terrified me off. My own doing…so whatever i can handle it. *Wiggle…Giggle.*

Anyway! IT’S A GREAT DAY TO BE ALIVE. I’ve been at work all day and Monday’s are hard for everyone. You kinda just have to get on with it don’t you and hope for the best. There’s no silver linings, other than being grateful that you made it through in one piece. Like i said, it’s a great day to be alive!

Today I held sausage rolls in the back of taxi as throwback hits from the 90’s played in the background. I also sent ‘Eton Mess’ a picture of the Lego Version of himself. I ate nuts by accident and i’m allergic to nuts, so that hasn’t been fun this evening. An alcoholic version of Santa, who was on the streets of Doncaster sat on a chair, with a rubbish beard on and sack full of cheaply wrapped £2 presents, gave my kids toy GUNS. (They’ve shot me all night, whilst i’m dressed as a fox, by a Christmas tree.) But i have a gin and tonic…and that makes me smile. I’ve actually done lots in this Fox Onesie. Lol. I even took a big blog business call with some executive…whilst I was on the other end of the line, dressed in a giant fox onesie. Life is good! I even have a fucking fur tail.

My facebook newsfeed has been filled with girls and guys rambling on about how awful their love life is and gosh i know that i definitely do that on occasion, but at least i’m funny with it. (And i’m funny with it because i’m REALLY not that sad about my love life. Lol. I’m not emotionally young, i’m kinda okay with being me and being single. They’re are fun parts to it and like i said, i’m one to wait until i find the right match, rather than waste on a mismatch. You’ll know when you find your match, as the connection will grow with ease. ) Young girls should concentrate on ambition and succeeding at what they want to do in life. Not crying over some tragical 20 something year old boy. Lol. Have fun! Lighten up! Enjoy Christmas. Be sexy! Own it.

I read this piece today stating that we apparently fall in love three times in our entire lifetime. It already put me off, as i had previously read that it was twice, years ago in some book about soulmates. But it says that we need each of the 3 loves for a reason…

The first love is the young teen love. It plays out in an idealistic fashion. It’s ‘fairytale’ and in this day and age, you’re definitely not going to stay with them forever. Lol. But the magic is that you ill believe you will. My first boyfriend at school was Dan (Danny) Shaw Town. He’s actually an amazing and popular artist now. Look him up. Great work. I loved him and cried on a loo when i was fifteen when we broke up. Haha.

The second love is supposed to be the hard love, it tests us, teaches us and makes us stronger. It shows us who we are, when it comes to matters of the heart, what we want and what we need in order to feel loved. (And when i’m talking love, i’m not talking about the people you end up in relationships with, only the ones that you have TRULY LOVED.) It’s usually unhealthy for us in the end, unbalanced and well the article said ‘narcissistic.’ Yippppeeee!  It’s the love that we wished was right, but deep down know it’s far from perfect and ‘ouchy.’

The third love is the love that we don’t see coming. It comes as a surprise, packaged all wrong, destroys the norm of what we thought would be peeking around the corner. It changes everything and fills our soul with ACTUAL love. That person that you never thought would happen, but did and you deep down love it. You try to avoid it, yet you find yourself right back there because it just feels right. It’s the one that lasts forever.

Now i don’t know how true all this is….and i never really overthink it, as i simply believe that if a girl goes about enjoying life, herself and the world, Mr.Right just finds her, falls in love with her and that’s it…sorted. I do however find the art of love interesting, yet never understand why people complicate it so much…as it’s the simpliest thing in the world ever.

I’ve had a great family night tonight. The kids are amazing. They make me so happy. I came home, to find that Ruby had got mad with grandad and therefore in a moment of rebellion opened every single one of her Advent calendar ‘doors’ and thrown the contents all over the floor. This year i had bought the children the calendar’s that have Playmobile toys in them instead of choccies and SHE KNEW that she wasn’t allowed to even start opening the calendar.

When i walked, in she was hiding on the stairs and i saw the mess, didn’t say anything and simply started putting each piece back in the box. My calmness confused her…so she poked her head around the door and said ‘Grandad said i could do whatever i wanted.’ (Then RAN off.)

I beckoned her back in and told her that i had put everything back in the calendar, like it was new. She looked at me sheepishly. Yet i didn’t have to tell her that she had done something wrong, because she already knew. She knew that I trusted she wouldn’t do what she did. I didn’t HAVE to say anything. I wasn’t even angry with her or ‘off.’ I just carried on.

She got on with her evening, we were all fine, playing, laughing, joking and then an hour later, she slowly snook up to me, when she was alone, gave me a cuddle and whispered ‘i’m sorry’ in my ear.

In life, you just have to understand people, what they do, why they do and deal with situations and in a calm, positive manner, before immediately coming up with solutions. If you trust people, you’ll find that they don’t always let you down and will in the end, whisper that ‘sorry’ in your ear.