That Moment Before Halloween Did Me Over ;)

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What a night! What a time! I’m talking about Saturday. It’s now Tuesday, and i’ve only just pulled myself together. If there was living and then there was L.I.V.I.N.G…this Halloween…I smashed it.

Right! Let’s go…

I have been the busiest kitten in all of the glitzy land and it’s not as easy on the old body, as it was when I was 20 something in Hollywood. That’s the truth. Yet, I’m so lucky. I’m enjoying it thoroughly and something tells me that I’m much BETTER at being a 30 something, than any other decade. It kinda suits me well, because i’m tougher now. I was even tough then. I was a confident , yet wild 20 something, moulded by LA life, as I tinkered a career in entertainment. I went through an awful lot. It hasn’t been easy.

That was the first time around…Things happened after that!

This time around I’m NOT 21, i’m 37. I’m wiser, I’ve learnt and things are always better, the second time around.

You take a better shot, because your soul is filled with the correct ingredients. Your life experience radiates and powers over and people open doors for you, with more respect and utter grace. I don’t just mean this in work, but also when it comes to love. Your second shot, is always much stronger, because you’re adjusted yourself and you know what you’re dealing with.

MMmmkay…

(I actually told a guy called ‘Nathan’ that things were better the second time around, as I ate a spinach and pear salad, whilst hungover at Gino’s, in Leeds. My favourite salad ever. I love salads with pears in. I love that I can walk into Gino’s and be treated with absolute love by the staff. I love that I can simply state that i’m so hungover and without me uttering another word, they baby me and know exactly what I need…Lol) 


Anyway. I don’t know how old, ‘Nathan’ was, but I reckon around fifty? He’d run a massive business, that set him in the high money stakes. Then he *ballsed* it all up, by going wild, leaving his wife and spending all this money, before almost going bankrupt.

Yipppeee!

He randomly told me that this was his second time around. (I don’t even know him at all?) But I assured him, that if he concentrated, and wanted it more than anything, y’know, did everything the right way….he would smash it.

Me: ‘It’ll be even bigger the next time around…’

It’s how life works. It’s not about what happens, it’s about the kinda human you are and how you handle that ‘what.’

Okay….

Things are changing for me and it’s a really wonderful feeling. I’m steady away and i’m doing okay. I’m not in a race for success. I love my present and i’m enjoying my time. I’ve got a long way to go. But I don’t look over my shoulder to see what or how everyone else is doing? I just stay focused on my own world, my own version of life and i’ll ‘hit’ my goals, when i’m meant to… Y’know, when life cuts me some slack. 😉

It’s important to refrain from comparing your current chapter to someone’s else’s chapter.

Anything can happen at any time! I’ve watched it and lived it.

Mum: ‘Career first, Chrissie. You can have anything or anyone you want, afterward. Don’t get distracted. I believe in you.’

I’d sailed off a very busy week of meetings, work and bustle. I was exhausted. I hadn’t been sleeping much. My mind wouldn’t let me. Last week, I met so many people. In fact that week, I did so SO much, that it kinda all feels like a blur.

I was still excited for the weekend though!

I woke up and the babies, ‘Ruby & Junior’ jumped on me in bed, with laughter and cuddles. They were bursting with joy! We made OUR Saturday morning, all about Ackworth Garden Centre, because they wanted to go fancy dress Pumpkin Carving, with Peppa Pig. and Mummy.

It was wonderful. It was wonderful because I TREASURE family time. I’m a real family girl, even though I have an independent soul. The moment I saw their faces light up with excitement, my heart was sold. I’m a softy. I love making people happy. It fills me with glee. I’m so proud of them. I’m so proud of how well they’re doing.

They’re literally my world.

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We giggled. We carved. We did Halloween. It’s times like that, when I love being a single mum. When there’s just us…doing life, because no idiots can distract us. Our bond is too strong. We’re so close. Nothing else matters when we’re together as a team.

BLISS….

But oh my gosh, I am so properly SHIT at carving pumpkins, because IN LIFE,  i’m not good at the niggly tasks, the little tedious bits, that you’d usually hire someone to do or have a husband for. Lol. I know that sounded LAME. But I am. I don’t have the patience for the niggly bits. Haha. Yet, on THAT day, I don’t know what happened to me? I did! I got on with it, because I was motivated by love. (It’s the key to success… 😉 )

Jenna: ‘Look at Wunna…’

Me: ‘I can’t do this sober. It’s like wrapping presents on Christmas Eve, you need to be tipsy.’

Let’s say, it was an achievement.

Anyway,

We had the most amazing family time…and that’s what I love about my life right now. It’s feels pretty balanced.

I actually feel like a really decent human and it’s so hard on me at times, when people (as in guys,) forget to see how lovely the ‘whole picture’ is and not just how great I might be in the ‘sack.’ I’d really appreciate a man, who appreciated me for the ‘whole picture,’ they don’t come around that often in my world…and i’m not saying that I don’t get attention. We all know I do.

But, every single time I look at a guy, after he makes his move and smoozes on in, I always think that he’s ONLY after one thing…and potentially nothing else…because that’s what always happens to me. I don’t think many guys have proved  to me, that I’m more than JUST THAT.

Don’t get me wrong, i’m a grown up girl. I love sex. I’m single. I’m okay. I’m happy. I do hope to find my one. I say that all the time. Yet, I don’t want to comprise my heart, or sell myself short . So being sexy and naughty and flirting is great! It’s part of being a grown up and certainly part of being a single 30 something. It’s hot and i’m sensual by nature.

I love it.

It’s sexy and I love a bit of ‘filth.’ Yet, if nothing more develops from it, other than ‘nookie’…and because i’m a girl, I kinda just think that it was ALL, a waste of my time?

Men don’t like to tell me or show me that I could be more to them than that….

I never know why?

Anyway, back to the story….

Where were we…Oh Yeah…PUMPKINS*Deep Breath*

I will tell you that, the last time I carved a pumpkin, was over a decade ago. It’s not my forte. It never has been. The last time it happened,  was out of force.

I was pissed, in West Hollywood, doing Tequila shots, dressed as a Playboy bunny, by a dining table. What I learnt is that, you should never ever carve pumpkins, stone cold sober, if you are a glamour puss. (And when I say ‘Glamour Puss’, I don’t mean a chick, who just wears too much lippy. It’s more of a manner than a look, to me.)  Do remember to  ALWAYS add tequila. Pumpkin carving is harder than you think…until you put ya back into it.

I actually loved every minute. It made my babies smile. They just looked up at me, and wee’d themselves laughing, whilst shaking their heads, as I struggled in my ‘Little Mistress’ faux fur…

Ruby: ‘Look at Mum trying to cut out pumpkin eyes. She needs a wine. Haha…..’

Then we walked over to ‘Ego,’ (I’m actually blogging from ‘Ego’ now with a wine,) for pasta, salmon dill fishcakes and mocktails, before I grabbed all my stuff, tried on my Ann Summers Devil’s outfit, sipped a quick ‘get ready’ vino, kissed the babies ‘good bye.’

I then *blinked* and found myself on the train to Leeds City Centre.

I checked into Park Plaza…

I love checking into Park Plaza, simply because it’s easy, styish, comfy and SO WELL LOCATED. Nothing’s a bother. Plus, you can’t really beat being *slap bang* in the middle of the city centre. It’s a ‘dolly’ strut distance from EVERYTHING. It’s in the most perfect spot. I’ve stayed there a lot. I always try to stay there when I need to

I don’t know whether it’s just me? But I LOVE that moment when you check into a hotel, get through all the pleasantries..

Reception: ‘Good Afternoon, Miss Wunna….You’re on the 14th floor..’

Man at bar: ‘Hi, how are you? You’re stunning. Where are you going tonight?’

… and then you finally *whoosh* yourself up to the 14th floor, slide in, shut the door, turn on the lights, turn on the tunes and BOOM! BLISS! You’re there! You’re done….You chill and sip your wine, in peace. (But then Insta Story, the hell out of it all. Haha.)

Within moments of hair doing, face doing and wine sipping… I was here…

I felt so alive. I felt so fun. I usually hate Halloween. But this year I was excited. I don’t know why I was excited? It’s something that I don’t bother celebrating often.  I was just in a really good mood. So after a couple facetime calls, I was out!

(Well technically, I had to go find Aaron &Stephen the Paps, because they couldn’t find parking and didn’t know exactly where they were, for the Zanetti bash.)

Steve: ‘The Sat Nav, says it’s literally just around the corner…’

Aaron: ‘We’re parked outside this building…It says GVA on it?’

(Sends me a picture.)

So, being me, I walked up to find them…within the city streets of Leeds, at night…dressed in my slutty devils outfits…in stockings & horns. Haha.

Dude: ‘Are you not scared?’

Me: ‘No. I’ve lived. I’m not scared of a 2 minute walk, dressed like this. I’m more concerned that i’m COLD. I hate the cold. Lol’

I don’t think i’ve ever got hit on as much in my life!!??!

And the sad thing was, I was strutting through the streets, with my head held high, like I didn’t even know I was dressed like a slutty devil. I was like Beyonce….but shitter.

The funny thing was that, when I got into the lift on the 14th floor, it stopped at the 10th.  The doors open and a poor handsome guy, who was waiting to jump in, must have got the shock of his flipping life.

Imagine your lift doors opening and I’M THERE, laughing, dressed as Devil, with all my boobs pouring out and with a sequinned pokey stick, tapping against my thigh!

Hahahah.

Guy: ‘I can’t tell whether this is real or a prank? Lol’

Me: ‘I’m so sorry. Haha. Don’t feel awkward. It’s real.’

Guy: ‘No. No. I don’t feel awkward. You look beautiful! Where we going? Hell?’

Me: ‘Yeah…Probably…Haha..’

Guy: ‘Honestly….Where you off?’

Me: ‘Just some party. I’m actually going to find my friends..’

Guy: ‘What you doing afterward?’

Me: ‘I’m going to sleep…’

(This was our convo from the 10th floor to reception, in our lift.)

Anyway, I managed to find ‘The Boys,’ Aaron & Steve, snuggled warm in their Audi, on King Street. (A life of a pap is certainly rewarding, but must so hard. It was a freezing cold night and to think that they had travelled from city to city, having to wrap up warm like lil’ snuggly bears, to take pictures of celebs, whilst being stood outside in the cold for hours… is not easy.)

But they do it and they don’t even moan. Plus, it must be shit having me sat in the back of your car, poking you with a Devil’s stick, and moaning because I want booze.

They got ready to shoot, I stepped into a bar named ‘Box,’ just on the corner. I’ve never been there before, but fire eaters where outside and I knew that Tattu & Blackhouse wouldn’t let me in in Fancy Dress…so I headed in and it was fun.

It was actually filled with loads of people who were headed to Zanetti’s Halloween party…I ordered a wine, talked to a clown, Catwoman told me she thought I was ‘stunning’ then this business man, from down south, hit on me…and tried to make me stay with him for the night…

Me: ‘I’m going next door now..’

Guy: ‘What time are you done? Can I not give you my number. Call me afterward…’

Me: ‘I’ve godda go…’

I show up at Aspire, which is where the ‘Zanetti/Sleepin is Cheatin’ night was being held.  I check in with the boys…who were waiting outside, freezing cold, but camera ready…

Security are lovely to me, Amy (Zanetti’s PA) showed me straight in, a wrist band was strapped on me and I was guided upstairs to the VIP.

Then the night began….

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Scare Kingdom & Sex Dungeons

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You probably spent your Friday, planning out your cocktail mixers & putting together your outfits, for a jolly lil’ weekend of debauchery. A weekend of blissful safety, under a bouji umbrella of frosted prosecco pours. A weekend where in which you *winked* at strangers and placed your heart on your sleeve, as you stalked your ‘findings’ on Instagram.

Shush! We all do it.

I spent my Friday, doing a morning school run, (Single Mum Alert,) before hopping on a train to meet my gay friend Liam…Once I arrived, I found a Bacardi in my hand, as station security guards stood by my side. Then after a moment in a beauty salon, followed by wine in a Casino, at Blackpool, Pleasure Beach. I found myself getting changed in his living room, with more wine in my hand, after chatting to his agent Zoie and making a really poor shoe selection.

Liam: ‘Honestly, you need to wear trainers.’

Me: ‘I’ll be fine.’ 

Aaron & Kyle showed up and…

BOOM….

We were headed to Blackburn, where I pretty much had to…

RUN FOR MY ENTIRE F****** LIFE.

(I’m a glamour puss. I don’t run for anything, but diamonds. Sistas! I RAN! I ran SO fast, I tripped over my own feet, fell and rolled myself back up again. I felt like a rubbish Vin Diesel. Haha.) 

The UK’s Top Rated ‘Halloween Attraction.’

Yeah that’s where I ended up…

I was invited to Scare Kingdom, Scream Park, to celebrate it’s VIP press launch. It’s opening night. If you know me personally, you’ll know that I can handle, real life scary stuff. I’m good with all that.

But when it comes to fear, tight spaces,mind games, Halloween, horror, ghosts & goolies…(Wahey! 😉 I said ‘goolies’... )

..I am awful for it. I’m terrified of it all. I don’t even like to celebrate Halloween. I close my eyes and pretend it’s not part of the year.

OH MY LORD! 

I got there. It was fine. (I’d already fallen backwards, on my arse, in Liam’s living room, with a wine in my hand, because of my shocking shoe choice.) I was ready for anything… I already had a graze on my arm.

Liam: ‘I swear you’re getting pissed because you’re terrified!!!’

Once, in Blackburn…It started like this…

Which was fine. It’s always great to see ‘Aaron the Pap,‘ in action, who’s actually a really great friend of mine. I love Aaron. He was in our car up…with Kyle. (Who I THANK the GOOD LORD for!)

Next, came another drink…and then this…

Again. I can handle the creepy dude on the red carpet. I even asked him out on a Sushi date. He declined. He obviously has poor taste in women.

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Then…

OH MY ******* KITTENS!!!!

It was time to enter the creepy Scare Kingdom, farm land and go through the TERROR, that awaited our juiciness. We had to go first, because Liam (who’s a singer) had a ‘later on’ gig to get to…Which was delightful, because of course, if you go first, they’re all flipping energized and excited. Lol

Cheers love!

I mean anything that says…

‘Hold on tightly to the rope that guides you, it is your only hope of escape from the hooded hell hole, known as Flesh Market.’ 

Hmm…? Lovely. Something says i’m not at Angelica’s anymore? 

I couldn’t even walk up there because of my shoes. Haha. fell over twice, with Liam and Kyle holding me up on either side. It hadn’t even started yet!! 🙂

Aaron: ‘She’s off to a farm to be chased by zombies and she chooses to wear those shoes!!!’ 

We’re wandering around. All’s calm. It’s raining a little. I hate the rain. We head inside, things turn dark…and then absolute tight spaced, TERROR begins….

All I remember was forcing my friend Kyle, go first (lol), whilst holding his back, (Liam was behind me) and just ******* SCREAMING, FOR MY WHOLE LIFE, into his hood, because I needed my eyes to just stop seeing. Haha.

I don’t even know how Kyle was so brave!?! God, did not make eyes for what we were forced to see…Haha. 

Imagine being tipsy, being shoved into a tight, dark maze, then HAVING to get yourself through it all, simply for your own pride, whilst you wished for the torture & horror to stop.

Imagine doing all of that, on a dark farm in Blackburn (lol.) You knew awful things were about to happen, every time you were being greeted by creepy humans. Human’s that made you feel uncomfortable on every level. Imagine being chased THROUGH some death cage, by them…blind and…

..IN ****** heels.

We got through the first maze. Don’t know how?

I now couldn’t talk, after screaming so madly…We started walking towards the ‘next bit’ of utter terror. I fell over around 7 times, en route, because a mixture of bad shoe choices, wine and fear, kept making me.

Liam: ‘We can’t go through the next maze. It’s too scary and you’re falling over your own feet!’

My trousers were literally covered in mud. My shoes were battered. My makeup had smeared. I had tears in my eyes…I was laughing, in shock. But then I went with…

Me: ‘I can just take my shoes off and of through the rest of us…’

EH?

Liam: ‘Fuck off. You’re not allowed to do that…’

Kyle: ‘She can’t get through it…’

We get to the next maze (i’m determined to ‘muscle’ through, but then Liam, makes the executive decision to kindly ask the ‘greeting ghoul,‘ to call a manager, & get us back to the bar. She came and got us and we were walked straight OUT of the terror, to immediate safety….I had baby ‘panic & dash’ bruises all over me, my knees were covered in soil and yeah…I was still in my shit shoes.

I ruined everything. Haha.

(Saying that, both boys were filled with utter fear anyway. It’s not like, we were okay. Haha. We were drained of utter life and filled with complete fear…and I knew they weren’t okay, because they were trying to ‘swag‘ it out, like were we all safe and dandy.)

WE WERE PANICKED!!!

If ANY HUMAN, ran up to us, at that point (she could’ve been a flippin’ lollipop lady)…..I tell you, I would’ve probably passed out or opted for dying, because it would’ve been a less traumatic. Haha.)

But that’s what Scare Kingdom is about! It ain’t Disney Land….unless you’re a twisted F****.

We’re walked away to safety, back to the bar…which was now filled with ‘newly arrived’ celebs, ready to take on, the terror mazes.

(I just drank because I couldn’t deal with life, at this point.)

The gorgeous Marlie Weekender’ tinkers up to me. (I love Marlie, she makes me smile. I met her at an event in Leeds, in the Summer.) I feel a flick of my hair from behind and there she is, with her ‘Off Big Brother’ boyfriend Sam Chaloner, a cute blond girl, who I think was his sister and Callum Weekender, who’s about to hit our screens on ‘Celebs Go Dating.’ 

I think I was pissed by this point, as everything just seems to be in ‘flash back.’

I talked to the owner? I talked the bartender? I talked to Aaron? I saw tons of people from ‘Lucky7 PR,’ who I watch daily on Instagram …Like Sean Pratt, his girlfriend Jordi, Glamour Model Grace Teal…(He’s fit. They’re beautiful..) I saw Saira Choudry, who’s currently on ‘No Offence.’  I remember her from Corrie.

Then I flipping got pulled over, to what we all called ‘The inside sex dungeon.’ (It’s the epitome of terror, which overrides any terror you’ve experienced so far on the farm…Oh and it’s niche is twisted, psycho sexuality.) 

Kyle’s already headed in. (I love how brave he was. I love brave dudes.) He was the first one in…ever! All these ghouls, who you couldn’t see, where slamming shit and screeching…

‘Come in, little boy, we’re waiting for you…’

..behind a small metal door.

I’d ONLY agreed to go in IF I was able to be photographed/ filmed. Lol. I’m such a diva. Haha. But whatever…I was terrified.

Me: ‘It’s optional. I don’t really want to do it, for the good of my own health. I’m scared. I want a bit of ‘look at me.’

Staff: ‘Wait here…’

Of course, knowing my luck…It was all fine and dandy…and before you know it, i’m stood at the entrance of a horror, SEX dungeon.

Yipppppppppppeeeeee! Happy Friday!

All i could see were my friends stood behind a barrier. A metal doorway, with a flap that had been opened. I heard screams, screeches, evil voices, beckoning me in and saw a creepy looking barbie, human, was looked naked, but was wearing nothing but tights, a blond wig, with sewn on eyes, nose and lips…that didn’t move.

I was not okay. I F****** SHAT MYSELF.

I just stood at the entrance, with my hand over my face shouting..

I CAN’T DO IT. I’M NOT DOING IT. I CAN’T ******* DO IT. 

Everyone’s now *egging* me on…Liam’s shouting…

‘It’s NINE MINUTES CHRISSIE. ONLY NINE MINUTES TO GET THROUGH.’ 

Me: ‘Nine minutes. Nine minutes…’

I looked at Kyle…and said…

‘Was it okay…?’

Kyle: ‘No…It’s…’

Liam: ‘Don’t tell her that!’

Kyle: ‘9 Minutes… You’ll be okay. I did it. It’s harsh. But just do it..’

I’m causing such a delay, that the amazing staff had to tell some of the ‘horror actors’  to ‘calm down, back up and clear the door way…’

Yes, I was that pathetic. Hahah.

A lady then says…

‘You have a SAFE WORD (She tells me it.) You shout it out. Everything stops. We’re all watching.’

Don’t know how it happened?Yet, as life goes…I ended up on all fours, about to crawl through the entrance. (Yes, you had to CRAWL THROUGH IT.) I *paused* but they were already sick of me, I’m sure because I felt a *push* on my bum (lol) and that was it..

..the door *slammed shut* behind me…

The only way out, was to get all the way through the dungeon or shout my ‘safe word.’ (Which of course my northern pride wouldn’t let happen.)

Now, I’m not going to tell you what happened in the psycho, sex dungeon and Scare Kingdom. All I will say, is that I SCREAMED for my life, NON STOP.

Liam: ‘All you could hear for the first minute was Chrissie, screaming her head off, whilst trapped in that dungeon & I was outside.’ 

I went from room to kinky room, madly. Infact almost reluctantly. It felt so fast. So energized. Everything around me was ‘non stop’ and so real. It felt really real, like i’d been kidnapped. I fell over, TWICE.

It was intense. It played with my head. It was a nightmare and all I wanted was for the madness to end. I was in a torture chamber. I didn’t have a gin. My eyes saw the most terrible things…and when 9 minutes must have been up, I found myself running out of a curtain, back to safety…and finally without a mini sack over my head. 🙂

WTF! Hahah. OH MY GOD!!!

As soon as I ran out, I felt an entire RUSH of utter bliss flow through me. I could breathe I was free. It was like I had conquered the world, in 9 minutes. It was the best feeling of achievement. I faced my fear.

I flipping did it.

I could’ve done it again. Funny that? It was THE MOST TERRIFYING Halloween moment EVER, It was SICK. It was twisted. It was naughty! But that’s what it’s there for, so it in my mind, it was done INCREDIBLY WELL. It was created beautifully, by the kings of utter horror.

You just can’t miss this, you have to say you’ve done it….

As I walked out, I saw ‘Real Housewife’ Christine McGuinness (Paddy McGuinness’s wife) on the red carpet, doing her pap pictures, before the run… It ended up in the Daily Mail.

Something tells me, she was about to find out, that she wasn’t in Cheshire anymore…

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As soon as I got back to The New Osborne Hotel, in Blackpool, I drank a bunch of wine, chatted to a guy named Lee, drank loads at a Casino with Liam, Matt and his beautiful girlfriend…and then passed out, in my bed sheets.

That’s how my weekend started…

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Leeds, Life & Cocktails

My weekend’s been great! Right from the ‘get go,’ it’s been filled with life. I feel like the luckiest girl alive and to be honest, I have no clue why? There’s just such a buzz that’s swirling around Wunna Land that is nothing short of ‘juicy.’ It’s contagious. Good luck seems to be pouring in (I almost typed ‘pouring gin,’ ) my confident is soaring and…well i’m just feeling great about myself right now. Just like anyone, I go through the ‘ups the downs’ and the dodgy parts that I find the WORST…which i label the ‘inbetweens.’ I’m ALL or NOTHING, always SOMETHING and never chilling in ‘grey.’ When I feel stuck in a rut, (and i’m talking about work) I make positive changes with ease. I don’t find changes, especially positive ones difficult…No one should. So many people are so scared to indulge in the things that they adore? Doing that goes against human nature. It goes against the natural grain of what your soul is made for. Right now…I’m feeling on top of the world and boy, I hope you are toooo!

Right, so Friday night is usually my chill night. I love my ‘Chill Friday,’ as I’ve usually Frisbee’d off a stunningly busy work week, making Friday all about home life, relaxing and refuelling to rubbish telly and take out, in over sized frillies and tshirts, with the kids.

This Friday, straight after work, I ventured off into Leeds with one of my girl besties ‘Hustle Barbie’ to enjoy a chick ‘Mate Date’ at Issho, where we delighted in the finest sushi and raw salmon cuts of ‘over ice’ sashimi, with large delicious ‘prosecco pours’ with bamboo mats, wasabi winks and really magical lighting in one of the most glamourously trendy new spots in Leeds.

I love Issho. It’s always great! Through the day, on an evening. It’s wonderful. The food is divine. The vibe is peaceful, sophisticated, yet stylishly cosy. And as the staff tinkered around us, pouring us fresh bubbles, and making sure our dinner was delightful, we chatted about life, love and where we thought we were headed over the next few months….I adore a good chick dinner out. A bouji one that is. 😉 It was great because I’ve never really hung out with JUST ‘Hustle Barbie,’ over dinner before. There’s always been everyone there. And when you hang out with someone on a ‘one to one’ basis, a layer of them peels away…and you become much closer, share secrets, enjoy laughter and learn about them away from ‘the show’ of life.

I had a really great time and I hope I do a hundred more sushi dinners with her, over prosecco, in great lighting.  I love getting to know people more closely and yeah…Friday was brilliant. We’re more similar than we ever knew and I admire her for it. She’s a really smart, ambitious yet gentle girl. She’s impressive because she’s thoughtful, fair and kind, yet someone who seeks more from life. She wants her happy ending…and we all deserve it! ( I mean GOSH, I even got to see her boudoir. She has a boudoir..

‘You’re making it sound like I own a brothel!’

Her home is spotless, almost like a ‘show home.’ As soon as her front door opens, it smells DIVINE and radiates style and simplicity. There was definitely a point where she came out of the shower however and thought I was sat on her cat Lol. I was knelt in her boudoir, bronzing my face in her big mirror, with my mini fur bag laid by my side. She walked in wrapped in a towel and thought I was sat on Rufus. Lol. Rufus is her glamourous ‘fur ball’ cat. )

Anyway, back to Leeds….

We had a whole bunch of gin in cocktail form, looked down at our phones and saw that ‘Firmonnell’ had found herself into Leeds with her chick friend bestie. She had no clue where she was, so kept sending us selfies and photos of her whereabouts and signs, after giving ‘train prosecco’ to a homeless person out of kindness.

So Hustle and I tinkered out of Issho, walked through the bouji Victoria Gate…and after the delightful elevator gentleman let us out to play under the Leeds night stars…(He couldn’t possibly imagine us walking up or down stairs, so demanded that we took the lift. Yet, i enjoy that there’s an elevator to the entrance of Issho, it just keeps life elegant…and easy. After gin, you want shit to be easy.)

Then we went to find ‘Firmonnell.’

Finding ‘Firmonnell’ was like an episode of The Crystal Fricking Maze. It was like the Matrix, where we were following photographed signs and voicemails across central Leeds, in order to be delivered to her whereabouts. And yeah, okay, we may have taken detours like a cheeky delicious Manahatta stop off, where we ordered Pornstar Martini’s, appreciated attractive humans and danced for Snapchat to the best tunes in all the land.  That might have happened, on our journey to find ‘Firmonnell.’  And we might have tried to stop of at the new ‘Neighbourhood’ bar, yet couldn’t because it was reservation night only. But in the end, we found her….at ‘The Roxy’ where the lager is poured and the beer pong is a played.

My feet KILLED by this point, THEY BURNED LIKE WITCHES GROINS and when we finally got there, turned around and saw her at the back bar all smiles and drunky, all innocent and light…it was almost a relief.

‘OH MY GOSH! FINDING YOU HAS BEEN A NIGHTMARE. MY FEET KILL BECAUSE I’VE TOTTERED AROUND THE WHOLE OF FLIPPING LEEDS TO FIND YOU!!!!!’

We danced, we drank, we laughed, we giggled. Hundreds more people showed up. I think ‘Hustle and I’ tried to go dancing with ‘Firmonnell’ who ended up staying for Beer Pong.’ The Roxy is cool. I’m just a Victoria Gate girl. My feet stuck to things and we didn’t have change for the photobooth and I saw all these empty red plastic cups, all squashed and squished all over a beer drenched ping pong table, that might have had stains on from 1992. It kinda made me gip a little, so ‘Hustle and I’ went off to do dancing….and agreed to meet ‘Firmonnell’ later.

We never ended up meeting. But I knew that would happen. I know ‘Firmonnell’ well and I adore her because we just do our own thing. Lol. We’re ace and just get on with it. It’s how good friends are! Phone tig occurred and ‘Fibre’ was Hustle and I’s choice of jiggle. We had a dance we let loose for a bit, I remember some guy coming up to me because he had me on Snapchat. Then whilst ‘Hustle Barbie’ I were sat downstairs in the cave like toilets, across from giant walled mirrors, we knew Friday was done. She simply said, ‘shall we go?’

Just like that, with our feet a killing, a missed all from ‘Firmonnell’ and earlier than expected, we were in a taxi home. ‘Hustle’ got dropped off first and then my Taxi driver, who ha dno clue where he was going tried to drop me off IN BARNSLEY!

‘You needed to get off at Junction 32!!! WHY ARE WE AT JUNCTION 38!!!’

I got home. I crashed. I woke up the next morning bright and early and spent the entire day shopping, lunching and hotel nighting with my gorgeous little babies Ruby and Junior. They had an audition for a commercial, which they absolutely loved. They loved it as much as I loved chilling in Prosecco Pit Stop waiting for them to finish. J It made me smile. It seems ‘The Wunna Babies’ are actually a ‘thing’ now and like I’ve said before they’re getting offered a lot of opportunities, that I am NOW letting them enjoy. You only live once! Embrace everything that comes at ya! Plus, I believe that NOTHING is better than doing things with the people you love. So whilst I have ‘Opportunity Central ‘ going on in Wunna Land…which i’m really truly grateful for, they actually have THEIR OWN THANG going down….which I guess, on the whole, makes us lucky.

HOTEL NIGHT was wonderful. The kids LOVED IT! I loved it.  I mean, all we did was dinner, chill in our undies, snuggle in our beds and watch telly as a family, but it was BLISS. It was amazing. It was PERFECT! Almost a novelty because I treasure ‘down time.’ Time where in which I can all chill and relax without any worries, or stress. Time where no one can bother us or know what we’re doing. The kids loved it so much. That night, we had the best sleep EVER.

‘I love you mum.’

‘I love you tooo.’

Then as sod’s law kicked in, my phone rang, schedules were put in place. I had a last minute Sunday audition, They had a last minute Sunday audition.

We had to wake up at 7am, for Junior to get picked up by 8.30am…and Just like that…everything went back to normal…..

 

I did The Clothes Show

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So i’ve been at The Clothes Show! The last ever Clothes Show to be held in Birmingham, as it will move to Liverpool for the coming years. (Yay! Northern!) I am a regular haunt at the event…and blogged it for a jazzy while. I’ve presented it. Smoozed. I’ve shopped! I’ve celebrated the event with love, as i genuinely find it divine.

This year has been the best year that I have ever has the pleasure of being invited to. Oh my GOD, I could LIVE at The Clothes Show this year. You should go, as it is ever girly girls DREAM LAND. There is no where on earth where you can literally shop until your little kitten heart is satisfied, smooze with your fave reality tv celebs and when you need a ‘pick me up’ saunter into some kind of ‘Lounge’ for a lift up! Jesus! There were the MOST GLAMOROUS Pop Up lounged everywhere. The ‘Diva Lounge,’ the ‘Pamper Lounge,’ the ‘Lambrini Bubbles Bar,’ the this lounge, that lounge, get your hair did and teeth whitened whilst you ‘chill for ten’ spots. It was AMAZING and pretty much catered to everything that I’d build shrines for. I snapchatted my Clothes Show Story for all of you to see and let me tell you IT IS MARVELLOUS. I mean GOD, i’ve done Lambrini proud. Lol. I don’t think anyone has made as much impact in a ‘Bubbles Bar’ in their life. If i can do anything, i can kick back, meet new people, selfie pout with folk and drink in glamourous ‘pop ups.’ It’s the new thing innit, ‘Pop Up’ Wine bars and they are my favourite. i guess with Lambrini, i sort of just represent eerything that they market, so i was a great ‘Bubbles Bar’ choice. Lol. I’ve sipped and sampled every single new Lambrini Flavour and I can you Strawberry is my fave.

 

 

 

I even had my fortune told by accident via a crystal ball and I tried not to take it seriously, as you don’t do you. But holy shit, when i got beckoned behind a curtain and asked to hold this ball, (I’m good at that. 😉 ) THE THINGS THAT GYSPY  Margaret Rose Lee were telling me were things that NOT A SINGLE BEING in this entire world, but myself and my family would know! It was crazy. I was kitty shocked being this little red curtain…as she looked through my past, present and future. BANG ON, she was! And i guess as always my future is charmed…I can’t wait to get to the ‘charmed’ bit of my future (haha)…as even though i’m a positive soul, who has it pretty good, I’m heavily ambitious when it comes to work, love and family….and well this waiting around and working dead hard at it stuff can sometimes be a draaaaaaaaaaaag. When i have success, love and everything with bells on, then i’ll be able to do things like have a quiet drink in a bar, by myself and not stress and lay in bed at night, without a busy mind. I can’t wait for that bliss.

Okay away from that! Let’s go behind the scenes, as in life i have the best of both worlds at such events, where i’ll get booked to, what i call ‘be a face’ and entertain, yet at the same time GET TO BE PRESS, with my pass for chrissiewunna.com and venture through the back stages, the press calls and get all the behind the scenes gossip. I know, it’s awesome. So, for those of you who love a bit of Pop Culture, a bit of ‘Celeb,’ a bit of reality tv, i’ll tell you that i got to share time with Joey Essex, Alex Mytton and Jamie Laing! Reality at it’s finest. I watched them, studied them and listened to everything going on around them. I always kinda look smiley, boobied and giddy…but i scan and watch EVERYTHING!! The little things a opposed to the big things.

 

This is what I can tell you…

I’m not about to hear anyone call these boys ‘famous for nothing,’ as people tend to say that about Reality show personalities, don’t they. I’ve experienced reality show life and not even nearly close to the popularity that these boys are going through and that alone was HARD.

These boys must work almost every hour under the sun and then some to build and maintain a profile and do what people with ambition do, make money! I mean Jamie Laing had just got back from travelling for fifty hours, back from Australia after his ‘I’m a Celeb’ Extra Camp gig, to come and present a fashion show in Birmingham. Plus he had his brand ‘Candy Kittens’ at The Clothes Show, so he was making sure that was running smoothly also. I watched him present a fashion show and he’s just a natural entertainer, he sort of looked like a veteran in comparison Alex, who also shimmied on Made in Chelsea with him. Jamie’s warm hearted, talented, a great entertainer and ‘human’ not fakey. There’s nothing stuck up about him and he’s just a joy, you can see it in his soul. There’s an energy.

Alex…extremely good looking, not a telly newbie, but seemed a bit more quiet that Jamie. However, non the less, sweet, got on with it and was fun, fun, fun with it all. I did notice that whilst he was in the ‘pap pen’ and saw a camera man and I stood taking piccies, that he clocked the camera man straight away and like the sexy boy that he is, rolled up his sleeves a little on the sly to make sure we got a good view of his ‘gun show’ on pictures. Lol. Now, i’m not one to complain. I say ‘Good boy!’ But it’s interesting isn’t it, as to how people feel the best way to market themselves is. I love how his mind ticks. Interesting guy! I was on the same train as him on the way back. He had his girlfriend with him, who was all skinny, blond and..well…not every smiley. Haha. I don’t know how these guy’s hold proper loving, long term relationships. It must be difficult.

And Joey….The whirlwind that was Joey Essex! It almost felt as though every teenager in the entire world had decided to stand in one spot in Birmingham, at The Clothes Show  and as he quickly paced out, guarded by security, cameras and all sorts…they ALL decided to get their New Look knickers in a twist and go ABSOLUTELY MENTAL, like Michael Jackson had trumped gold on Justin Bieber or something!! And to the loudest screams ever, they elbowed and tripped each other out the way, clambered on shoulders and rushed, dashed and fell with camera phones…They lost their entire teenage MINDS! (I got elbowed and kicked a bit, as I was stood right next to him, but i had a Press Pass and Celebs love People with Press Passes, so i was sorted. Lol)

Now, this is what you didn’t know (or did gather) about Joey…who makes his ‘dollar’ by maybe selling himself as maybe not the ‘brightest berry’ in the bunch. And God does it work. He’s rinsing it. Well done!

But let me tell you, if you were to watch him talk to his manager during a ‘madness moment’ like that or behind the scenes, he is LITERALLY one of the most savvy, intelligent and ‘in the know’ guys on reality tv. He’s direct. He knows what he’s doing. He knows what he represents and he is all ambition and work. He knows it’s work and he smashes it! I heard him talking to Dave his manager with this power house voice of ‘this is what i want you to do.’ He had guardian and cameras filming the madness, on his instruction…(clever, clever) and he got through his Pap Pen session, with less heart than Jamie, but with the biggest career mind out of the BUNCH!

They work really hard and they have to, as the world of ‘Reality Celeb’ isn’t easy anymore is it. As it’s become more and more about being really savvy at the old marketing and winning popularity ‘doo dah’ than anything and now EVERYONE has become really really good at it. I’ve always thought there is room for everyone and as long as you have talent, a creative flair and or a business mind….I mean, as long as you’re good at your craft, no matter what it may be…and you work the hardest you have ever worked at your passion or goal…you’ll get there!

The great thing about these boys is that they made so many people happy that day…and when you do that…it kinda makes it all worth it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Leeds Lifestyle Awards: Part Deux

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Image result for leeds lifestyle awards 2016  Image result for leeds lifestyle awards 2016

So, the Awards began and straight away ‘Bam’ everything turned glitzy, live and ‘behind the scenes’ serious, we could see all that was going on within the main room, yet also watch what the viewers could see on the Made in Leeds LIVE broadcast!

I was sat next to The ‘House of Solo’ Magazine creator, another blogger ‘Kellie Dawson’ who had green hair and had brought a friend named ‘Lucy.’ Refreshing, funny and gobby. I loved her. And she fancied the ‘Barber’ guys who were nominated for an award…We stalked to see which table they were sat at for her…and luckily enough they were sat at the The Maven & La Bottega Milanese owner’s table…which made peeking easy. I also had Ruth Whiteley, who was on The Apprentice at my table, with her stunning blond bestie and they have a top secret, skin care product coming out shortly, that i can’t wait to try out.

Announcements we’re being made, drinks were going down a treat, giggles, selfies, presenting and winners were being spotlighted! It was a super *buzzy* feeling, as everything got really cheery and applaudy and celebs handed out awards to the best business owners that our city of Leeds had to offer. Achievement makes you feel good and it’s also highly contagious.

The awesome thing about award ceremonies is that you can ‘swan’ about. So on TV it always looks as though everyone is sat politely nodding and gracefully wine sipping, yet really everyone is ‘in and out’ downing cocktails, having a laugh, chatting to others, smoozing with eye candy, getting to know the people around them and as the crew and production team, in this case the Made in Leeds folk, are rushing around with clipboards, cameras and schedules making sure that all the right people are in all the right places, that filming is going correctly and that the show is nothing short of amazing..and they were good at it! They made me feel really welcome.

After the first award (and a bunch of selfie taking and texting…I messaged ‘Eton Mess’ and was asked about him loads) i dashed outside for a bit of ‘rec carpet’ air. Bumped into the owners of The Mustard Pot, who were hoping to win ‘Best Pub’ and chatted with a guy, who is a new presenter for Made in Leeds. I forgot to ask him his name, but he was quite Russell Brand esque, and had what he referred to as a ‘matching mermaid’ shirt on.

‘What’s that you’ve got? A Vaper?’

‘Yeah, I’m not smoking?’

‘Are you drinking?’

‘No, i’m doing that Sober October thing…nice and boring, then i’m going home to my wife. But hey we have matching mermaid outfits. You want some?’ *Pushes vape towards me*

(By now, i was already pissing myself because his voice was ace and he was unconventional and witty.)

‘What flavour is it?’

‘Punch..’

‘That is SO camp, hahaha, i love it!’

‘CAMP! I’TS PUNCH. What? Just because i didn’t say Carlsberg Flavour…and anyway what is it that you do again…?’

Great guy. I wish i knew his name? We rushed back inside to go back on air for the next award, from the chandlier draped, red carpet, under the Leeds night stars, to the main room where we were immediately plunged back into a dark, magical and exciting, buzz of affairs.

News presenter Mark Levine was on stage with my good friend ex pro sportsman Alex Simmons and i started downing wine, as adventure had got the better of me, i love a good old knees up of me and…we love it when that happens! I’m fun loving my nature, so i’m literally the BEST human to have at any event. 🙂 In LA i’d get invited to EVERYTHING, simply so the next morning they could hear my take of the whole ‘doo daa.’ People kept giving me wine, running over to take selfies with me and filming me drink things fast for kicks. It was a blast! Hahaha. I did notice lots of sexual tension in the room. Everyone in Leeds is a fittie. There were tons of naughty sideway glances from table to table…and that’s what turns an event from ‘yeah good’ to DELICIOUS! In Yorkshire, we don’t play! 🙂 Everyone goes for it! 🙂

Anyway, AWARD WINNERS EVERYWHERE, COMING FAST AND PLENTY and the crowd was young, fun, on the booze and alive.  It was fabulous, as surely nothing is better than feeling super nervous, drinking loads and then suddenly in a mental slow motion haze, hearing your business being called out as a WINNER and going up to collect your trophy from a glitzy celeb, in a euphoric state of ‘live broadcast’ yeehaa, as everyone cheers and claps at how awesome you are! Lol.That’s a much better Wednesday night in Yorkshire, than being sat at home, in ya pants, trumping to background telly noise, with a cuppa tea.

Sexy Nino smashed it and The Maven won BEST COCKTAIL BAR! La Bottega Milanese smashed it and WON BEST COFFEE SHOP…I saw them after THE WINNING and ran up to them madly for hugs, kisses, pictures and selfies with their trophies! Love those boys! There’s a cool swiggedy edge about them.And the ever so glammy ‘Apprentice’ Ruth Whiteley’ had handed out one of their awards.

Jack Schneider (owner of Accent Clothing) smashed it and won BEST INDEPENDENT RETAILER. There’s a styley ‘posh boy’ vibe to Jack…and i got to chat to him later on the dance floor, for hugs and well dones! 

Everything was great, the whole place was alive and the ‘live broadcast’ and awards had come to an end, cameras went down, the buzz kept going and we did what we in Leeds do best and that is drink shit loads of cocktails, flirt and party with each other!! *Yeeah baby.*

ALL of us, the winners, the celebs, the crew, the everyone, chinned up, let loose, let the DJ hit up some tunes and we turned The Royal Armouries into a club! 🙂

Being a lifestyle blogger, i’ll have a good time, my niche is good times, cocktails, hotel rooms, dates, fabulousity and just life itself, but i will SCAN an entire room for blog fodder…ALWAYS. I’ll usually know exactly who i’m meeting, why i’m meeting and have a good old chitter with a drink and a bum wiggle. Yet everyone in that room, even though pissed was like minded, they’re all successful people, who have things they pretty much need or want to promote and what better way to do it, then in a fun, social, ‘non formal’ cocktaily, ‘good time’ kinda way. I met some really great new acquaintances that evening.

But the good thing about it all, although busy ans business, was that it was laid back, fabulous and real, as sometimes you can go to events that end up being far too formal and all about business, almost fakey. Yet in Leeds, being lifestyle and with ‘Made in Leeds’ still filming…we’re FUN LOVING and warm. We know how to both get the job done and have a great time…and we all had 8am work starts int he morning. Lol. Work hard, play hard, function like the pros!

I loved going around everyone and saying ‘well done,’ and we were all scampering around to try and find the people we hadn’t met yet, who we had stalked as eye candy on other tables. Lol. I had a sexy grind dance’a than with X Factor Bupsi Brown! Her debut single comes out soon. I cuddled ‘AquaRiva Tequila’ Cleo Rocos, I wiggly shimmied with Nino ‘Won the Best Bar’ Lopes, I gossiped with Ruth Whitely and her beautiful blond besties…It was all fun and madness. That’s when i met handsome Jack Schneider on the dance floor for a hug and a ‘well done’ and we were drunk chatting for a wee bit. Then one of the other presenter girls strutted up and we weirdly turned from properly drunk chatting to being quiet and a bit more formal. Lol. *Boys.*

Life was great, everything was fabulous…I sauntered outside for a bit of fresh air and was handed a goodie bag with the line ‘Chrissie it has booze in it.’ Lol. VICTORY. By that time in the evening and it was still early, but we had been at it since six o clock, you love handheld booze in your goodie bag.

My feet were killing and Bupsi Brown was trying to make me natter more to her, but i saying’ Babe, i need to get outside and sit down’ like it was a mission. lol. So i did..i ouchy foot tottered onto the red carpet, and sat down on a Royal Armouries perch…holding my sequin mermaid dress up and bumped straight into one the PR guys for The Fenton (who didn’t win best pub) but were still having an awesome time. As let’s face it, to get shortlisted is pretty damn good. He was fun, young and sweet and must have been trying to smooze me as i did notice that all his friends told him that they were headed to ‘Yates’ and left him behind like he had pulled. Lol.

Everyone was filtering out now, still filled with life and excitement…and almost every 3 seconds someone would say to me, ‘AFTERPARTY…AT THE MAVEN, COME ON.’ The Made in Leeds guys were headed off, and I think Vicky shouted it at me. Loads of people shouted it at me, even Nino *paused* life for second to shout it at me…and i’m a keep the party going kinda girl.

But i remember turning to the Fenton Guy and saying,

‘I’ve booked a car to pick me up at midnight (like i was a sassy version of Cinderella.) I have work at 8.30 in the morning…’

‘When?’

‘Midnight!’

‘Well you’re fucked, it’s 10 past now.’

Then in that moment, i swooshed away from The Lifestyle Awards and swished into my cab, where Rob the driver greeted me with laughter. (He was on the phone and ended his convo with an ‘i’m off now mate, i have a much better looking person to chat to now.’ Lol I love Rob because he always says that i’m the ‘hardest working human he know’ when i’m obviously not, i just like the sound of it. Lol. 😉

I was at work for 8am the next morning, fresh as a daisy and that is what good times, business, love and life is about!

That was a GOOD Wesnesday Night!