Boxing Day, Prosecco Pops & Selfies

Goodness me! So much is going on! But i’m having a blast and feeling like the luckiest girl in the world…armed with a diary and maybe a bit of a wink.

 How you all doing? Good?

Well Christmas is now over. It was the most wonderful time of the year. But now let’s pack up the tree and get on with the last few days of 2017. (These last few days are like ‘no mans land’ where you have no clue what’s going on, what day it is, or how to wear anything other than pyjamas anymore? I don’t wear pyjamas…I just wear diamonds. 😉 )

I need to make sure I blog every day. I keep getting caught up in the art of ‘good times,’ that I forget that I’m actually a writer and the whole point is that I tell you the story…That’s the part that I adore the most!!  But whatever, i’ll get into the swing of it. I always do. It’s just been a crazy bit of time!

*Giggles..Hip Bump.*

So, i’ve been spending a lot of much needed time with Ruby & Junior. We’ve had the most amazing chunk of ‘family bonanza’ ever. I guess everyone has! We’ve laughed. We’ve cried. We’ve ‘all sorts.’ It’s been great! I might have pulled my hair out a few times! It’s a single mum’s way. J However, I always look for the love in their eyes. And there’s been a million moments, over the last two weeks where they’ve been so filled with utter glee, that the world has been their absolute oyster. Ruby’s now decided she’s a vegetarian and Junior likes my boobs.

Junior: Can I give you a massage?’

Me: ‘Yeah. That’s so sweet.’

Junior: ‘Good. I’ll start with your boobies.’

Me: ‘No…Junior…Lol.’

I’ve had my LAST 2017 blow out!

I met up with the girls, Fairytale Blond, Double B and Mel on Boxing day.

This was after I had bumped into one of my good friends Jenna at the bar in Ego. I don’t know what happened? But I’m waiting to buy my drink. I’m stood there with my card out and a smile. Jenna rocks up to wish me a ‘Hiya’ and a ‘Merry Boxing Day’ (as I was about to do late lunch with my Mum, Dad and Brother) and as we got chatting, a guy to our left.. in a flat cap stated he would’ve bought my drink for me…THEN the guy to the right of me…DID! I know? How bizarre? He just said I looked really ‘patient,’ and wanted to buy me my drink? I’m the luckiest little shit! Little ‘Patient face’ Me! 😉

Me: ‘How did that happen? What’s gone on?’

Jenna: ‘It’s just Wunna innit. It’s just you. He bought you a drink and then lovingly went back to his wife. Lol. I’m meeting up with Danielle later..’

After the loveliest dinner with my family…(I ate crazy carbs, I never eat crazy carbs,) I tinkered my little self to The Carleton to meet the girls, where we popped open Prosecco bottles, drank fruity  gin, shared *clinks* and told stories to each other that would burn your unholy ears, as fairy lights surrounded us and post Christmas bustle *busied* its way through the crowds.

I love the girls. They’re great. But as always…it got messy. They told me that we were DEFINITELY not going into town.

THEY LIED!

Fairytale: ‘We’re off into town!’

We ended up in town…and I hate going out around Pontefract! I always try and sneak off. Lol. But I didn’t, this time. I’m SO GLAD that I had those ‘earlier carbs.’ I did shots, like I was 20. (What am I even doing? I hate shooting anything. ;))

Drinks were guzzled. Dance floors were shimmied upon. Fairytale got brassy. (I love drunk Fairytale. She is the  most innocent one out of the group, but give that girl a prosecco and she is  SASSERILLA!  Mel might have fallen over on the dance floor in a beautiful beige faux fur…She kinda popped back up, with her hands in the air with an ..

‘I’m alright! I’m up. I’m alright!’

…and Double B, who was my Team Companion for the evening, kept trying to BEG ME to stay out to the crack of dawn, whilst telling me she loves me and squeezing into my loo.

Double B: ‘Staay out!’

Me: ‘NO. I’M 37. I’M GOING HOME!’

Double B: ‘Well if you’re going home. I’m going home!’

Me: ‘GOOD!!’

Double B: ‘I don’t wanna go home!! Staaaaaaay OUT!’

Me: ‘GET LOST.’

Anyway, we drank at the Green Dragon, we danced in The Malt Shovel…We ginned it up at Tap & Barrel…We even wiggled around the Barley Mow for a bit.

Me: ‘Why is everyone old in here?’

Double B: ‘You’re not even the oldest one! Guess how old she is?’

Me: ‘Why do you always play the Guess How Old I Am Game???’

We even bumped into one of my old friends Benny P. He’s straight, but like you’re ‘Gay Best Friend.’

Benny P: ‘I’ll go to Biggies, if you’re going..’

Me: ‘I’m not going….’

Benny P: ‘I’m off home then…’

Then Gary’s Mel called ‘Fairytale.’ Prince Jonathan…Fairytale’s Boyfriend, showed up at the pub, AFTER a call…and I looked down at my phone..ofcourse hours later… and Gangsta J (Double B’s boyfriend) had Facebook called ME!

You know you’re all in trouble when that happens. Lol

But it was such a great night. We all just had a final 2017 blow out

The taxi home cost a flipping BOMB and Double B made the executive decision to start pretend fights with everyone in the queue…before buying chips.

Me: ‘Stop shouting things at them…cos you’ll get away with it, but they’ll turn around and have a go AT ME! Lol!’

*REWIND*

Earlier in the night, we had sang our personal rendition of the beautiful song..

‘Move Bitch Get Out The Way’

…on the patio at The Carleton, for the night stars to enjoy.

It really was a treat. There are certainly Grammy Awards in our future. I should’ve plonked a stiletto out on the floor in front of us, for tips.

We were lost in a world of girl!

Such a fun night.

HOWEVER NOW….that’s it. I’m done. Party season is OVER. The corks are back in the wine bottles.

*Cheeky Sip. Cheeky Sip. Wedges Cork BACK IN*

The tinsel has been bundled away until next time.

And being a kitten who DOES NOT DO ANYTHING for New Years Eve…(People are always astounded by that, as i’m obviously meant to be one to be waving the flag of ‘party’ like a hooligan in heels and diamonds.) But i’m not. I can’t be bothered.

If you are out…I KNOW that you’ll have an AMAZING TIME. It’ll be fun! Many moons ago, in LA, where I did my 20’s…I rolled into some New Year? I can’t remember which year I rolled into? But it was at 10am on Jan 1st, in a taxi, with my then roommate Justin, with some pornstar in the back, that he had found and utterly fancied. They did actually date for a while. (We were both even in sunglasses because it was SUCH A BRIGHT Hollywood morning. )

At that point, I decided that I would never EVER rock into a fresh new year…UNFRESH.

I don’t mind a few drinks at home with friends, or AT friends, or with family and spirit. I’m fun. I love celebrating.

But for me…the clock strikes twelve and I will sail freshly and peacefully into 2018, like some kind of  Oriental Goddess. (Something like that anyway? You get the picture!)

I’ve had a great year and i’m gonna take you back through it soon. I kinda like staying in the present, as you just don’t know what lies ahead and the past is just a chipper memory now. If you stay in the moment and enjoy it, you’ll always be happy. We still have a few days left of 2017. Don’t let life slip through your fingers. You’re a long time gone. Enjoy it!

Love! Live! Celebrate Being You! It’s the only thing you can do BETTER than anyone else!

I have an exciting 2018. Everything’s NEW. Everything’s Snazzy. I have everything crossed!

You are going to be shocked!

Thank you for all the love you’ve been giving me. I adore it, with every inch of kitten soul! Thank you!

I’m getting a ton of messages from people who are wanting to meet me, or be part of the blog.

I will tell you that I have a TON of ‘Meet & Greets’ next year, where you will have the opportunity to ‘selfie take’ and embrace a bit of Wunna Land. And yes, you will also have the opportunity to be part of the blog and come play ‘Diaries’ with me.

The best chick that i’ve met recently, was a girl by a bubble gum machine in Doncaster, who not only had a huge stem of brussel sprouts sticking out of her posh handbag, but also asked me for change to buy sweets. Lol. She wasn’t a child. She wouldn’t tell me her name. She was a grown up and hilarious. A bit odd. But I do like the odd ones, don’t I. 😉 She was SO odd, that my Mother became a little alarmed, SO ALARMED that she followed me for the next 40 steps, incase I got GOT, my a lady with brussel sprouts. Lol. (Mums eh!)

I look forward to seeing you all.

All the loves….

Chrissie x

Thank you for following my life!!

A Little Bit Of Inspiration…

I don’t want you to forget how important you are. How important life is. Your life. Your version of it. We’re all different. We’ve made alternate choices. Some of us believe we’ve been dealt a decent hand. Some of us believe that we’ve been boomeranged a raw deal. Some of us are young. Some of us are old. Some of us are great at work and shabby at love. Others champion romance yet can never seem make their financial dreams come true. Most of us are balanced.

It doesn’t matter who you are, what you are, what you stand for or where you are in the world..Y’know… what stage you’re parked at in life..because we’ve all cried through parts, laughed through moments, told the truth, told a pack of lies, felt brave, been filled with fear, we’ve all loved, we’ve all lost, we’ve all won at some point…Yet, if you’re sat reading this right now, know that so far, you’ve done an alright job, simply because that heart is still beating and you’re still ticking along nicely and you can change the tempo of your world to make all of your dreams come true, at any point. You’re in charge of that. No one is BUT YOU.

And ALL of the above pretty much makes us the same. It’s what we all have in common. So like I always say, billions of people are doing life, this is JUST my version of it..and more than anything, as thousands of you scroll and ‘click’ onto CHRISSIEWUNNA.COM today, tonight, wherever you are in the world….I hope that one of you, at some point, whether you’ve met me or read a blog, be it from now, or from 10 merry years ago, I hope that one of you, somewhere around the world….has felt inspired.

Everyone always asks me what I reckon a ‘life soldier’ is all about and from what I know and what I’ve learnt, its always the people who aren’t scared to be bold enough to push forward who become the greatest version of themselves. When you fall down, you pick yourself up. You’ll fall down again. You pick yourself up. Don’t give up on anything that you care about. It’s not worth it in the long run. Don’t give up on what you believe is right. Don’t give up on YOU. Have faith in life but have faith in yourself. Roll with the punches. Keep ya head above water.

I’ve lived an extremely colourful past. We know this. I know this. I’ve lived it. I’ve danced through chapters and chapters of all different paths, all different worlds and around all different people. Some of it it is really clear. Some of it is just a blur. I’ve always had this uncanny way of making the shitty times look glamourous and the WONDERFUL times look simple and played down. But I’ve never told anyone HOW to live. I’ve only ever told my story. I didn’t get that from a text book or a University degree. I got that from actually living life and experiencing it to the core, experiencing people and situations. I don’t know how anyone can read a text book version of life, get a stamped piece of paper and then be some champion at inspiring others, by making you follow their rules. It makes no sense. It’s robotic and bizarre. Life is about emotion. How people feel…and that changes by the minute.

I will tell you that i’m going through a wonderful time right now. At the end of last year. It was actually around this time last year, in October. I secretly changed and decided to make myself a priority. I decided to try harder and hit pause of the things that weren’t right. I felt like I had been selling myself short…I stopped, redirected and it was in November of last year where I became focused on what I wanted and began to go for it.

It worked.

This year, things kept changing for the better. I was still scared about my changes. But I did them anyway. You have to, or you just don’t get anywhere. Well you don’t get where you want to be. I’ve been juggling everything and yeah there are time where I haven’t given everything my all. Yet there are times when I HAVE. I noticed that when I did…amazing things and I mean amazing ‘dream come true’ things kept happening as a result. This is in work and love.

Things changed. I bloomed. I became really confident in myself. I trusted myself. Had faith in my talent. My world. Love. My own version of life. I didn’t expect anything, I just hoped for the best…..and knew that I’d worked really hard…well taken the necessary baby steps without fear. This year I grew. And no one can take that away from me.

Everything is still changing and everything is still wonderful. I’m not there yet. I’m still stepping. I don’t have my perfect career. yet I’m nearly there. I’m not married and settled with the white picket fenced but something tells me that that will all be alright. Right now, I feel at my STRONGEST…and as ‘changes’ are happening…and i’ve always let changes jiggle with me, even without my consent. It’s not my favourite. When changes come as a surprise, it shocks your merry system and you fumble it a little, until you’re totally comfy.

This time for the first time EVER….I’m ready….

WATCH. THIS. SPACE.

I ain’t dropping any ball this time. 😉

 

 

Wunna Dolls, Rum & Banter

My kitty eyes shot open at 2.47am this morning. YES! At 2.47am…THIS MORNING! I’m totally gonna feel it later when work kicks in and my brain decides to not work. I need a morning mimosa. *Gimme Gimme* Ugh! Cupboard is bare! 😉

When you can’t sleep, you have a troubled mind. That’s exactly what I have. There’s SO much swirling around it, that I pretty much swear that my forehead is ready to curl forward and *boink* the imaginary panic button. Hurrah!

It’s good, because everything is about work & opportunity..and there’s a lot. Yet, bad because i’m obviously not ‘on top‘ of it all. This blogging malarky isn’t as easy as I thought..when it turns into a business. I can’t even sleep. I think i’m gonna go with the ‘i’m a genius and can’t sleep’ line, yet really i’m just human and right now I THINK I ‘can’t do this all by myself ‘ line. BUT I CAN. I mean fuck it. I’ve done everything else by myself…including raising children.

I got up at 3am and worked. I worked. I whopped out my little pink laptop and worked. I planned my entire week and month out, to set Wunna Land into confetti hero showers. Now I just need to execute and not worry. Yet, I’m a creative and what i’ve learnt is that creatives need to JUST BE creative and have someone else deal with the harsh reality of business and building. Their two different things. Two different skills. I want to just be creative and tell my sassy little story. Plus, I learnt from one of my previous bosses ‘The Mighty’ that when one person does too many things, they fuck it all up and give a ‘lot of things 20 percent,’ instead of one thing a juicy 100 percent. IT’S TRUE!

Anyway, enough of all that. It’s boring me. I’ll quit being a walking ‘Sad Act‘ now. (The words of ‘Double B.’)

Yesterday was an ace day,  filled with good times, friends, work and sass. It made Monday less shit. I didn’t even have time to curl my hair in the morning and it didn’t even matter! 😉 I know! Wow wee!  *Wink*

We decided that I should create ‘Chrissie Wunna’ dolls, so that Firmonnell can give them to her children.

Firmonnell: ‘As soon as the Chrissie Wunna doll comes out, I’m buying them for my kids.’

But honestly, how fabulous would my ‘Chrissie Wunna’ doll be!! It’d have boobies and be all glamourous and when you pressed it’s stomach, it’s shout things like…

‘Fuck it!’

‘Where’s my prosecco…’

‘This is bouji!’

Firmonnell, Double B and Hustle Barbie literally DIED over this idea for a good…well minute… 🙂 , as then we got distracted because Mel started sauntering in with her ‘stress face’ asking our advice on tidying…Don’t know what happened but…

Mel: ‘How the HELL have I started a conversation about how to find the time to clean my house properly and it’s turned into a conversation about THRUSH???’

Me: ‘I’ve never had thrush.’

Double B: ‘I’ve had thrush and that thing where you have to drink cranberry juice.’

Firmonnell: ‘Y’know you can get nipple thrush from breast feeding.’

Me: EWW!

Mel: ‘Whatever Chrissie. I would’ve thought you would’ve had a a cocktail of STD’s in your time.’

Fairytale Blond: ‘I’ve had thrush in my belly button..

Me: ‘Lovely’

Hustle Barbie: ‘Did Prince Jonny put it in the wrong hole?’ Haha’

Fairytale Blond: ‘I need to take these shoes back, I bought them for Monte Carlo tomorrow..’

Me: ‘I wish my belly button looked more SHOCKED and less smiley.’

Firmonnell: ‘Yeah mine looks like it’s just chilling…

Then ‘Double B’ decided to remind me that her beau’s willy looked like..

‘…one of those fun scrubby things you can get to clean dishes with, y’know in your sink….with a fuzzy afro on top.’

He never gets a blowie and she really doesn’t care. Lol. She’s just laughs in the face of blow jobs, adjusts her bra and asks for a pork pie, as she tosses her blond extensions everywhere.

‘Taylors Butchers was shut. I tried to get a pork pie there yesterday!’

Then I’m not sure what happened…But we started taking about old people and how weird it would feel to be a granny and how if I was ON MY OWN and 80, i’d be alright because, I’d

‘…definitely smell of rum and sex.’

Much better option over moth balls. You either smell of Marks & Spencers, Cats, Toffee, Wee or Moth Balls when you’re a granny. That’ll be me one day and I’m gonna make sure I smell of rum whilst being wheeled down the corridors to…. (I have no clue where i’d be wheeled to? Lol) I’m gonna be a RUMMY granny.

Anyway, ass…ass? Lol. AS!!!

As much as I love you, I do need to dash. I have school runs and a full day of work to jolly onto. I have great boobs and a wink in my think, today. I’ll definitely be knackered later on. I swear this blog is like therapy for me. One day you’ll be covering my meltdown…BUT JUST NOT TODAY.

Work hard. Do well! Love lots!

Oh and follow me on everything, so I feel extra adored. Lol.

Snapchat: chrissiewunna1

(I don’t know who chrissiewunna is..but it’s not me and i’m sure she is far more naked or chatty…lol So do make sure you add the right one.)

Tweet me: @chrissiewunna

Instagram: chrissiewunna

Like my Facebook Fan Page: http://www.facebook.com/chrissiewunnadotcom

 

Pink Pens, Dance Offs & Girls

G: ‘I’m just a bit distracted because someone’s stole my pink pen?’

Me: ‘I stole A pink pen, but it’s mine now…’

Fairytale Blond: ‘I just found a pink pen in my drawer….’

Pink Pen Purchaser: ‘I have loads of pink pens here….’ *Opens drawer.*

Me: ‘Nooo….That’s how we all have them….We stole them out of your drawer.’

See, it’s the littlest things that mean so much to a girl. Pens that write pink. As simple as that. The most sought after pen on the block. (Listen to this bit Gents…) It looks good. It writes well. It caters to our everyday girly whims…We’re so subconsciously obsessed with these pink pens, that WE STEAL THEM from one another.

It means so much to one girl that she will question it’s whereabouts. Another is so polite that she will simply state that one seemed to have accidentally landed in her personal space. I simply made it clear that I had found one, liked it, stole it and therefore it was now mine. 🙂 And inbetween the casual pink pen debate, there was a ‘giver,’ the girl who thought there were more in supply, having not yet noticed that they had all been stolen. 🙂

That’s kinda how life and being a female works, as soon as guys learn it and learn more about the type of ‘pink pen’ chick he is dealing with…the more successful he will become in the pursuit of winning her heart.

I’ll just leave that piece of ‘juicy’ there for you.

Anyway, i’ve had a busy day. Monday’s are always busy aren’t they? And you can either decide to hide from it, deal with it, or just go with it and get drunk afterward. I’m not quite sure which one I did? But i started early and finished late and still didn’t managed to get everything done. Yipppee! Lol.

I also had a working lunch, where I found myself running (well, I don’t really run do I? I sort of slowly tottered up three flights of stairs as glamourously as I could, with my flipping waist trainer on and my pink laptop under my arm?

*I swing the door open.*

‘You’re not actually gonna blog through your lunch are you?’

‘No. I’ve just godda get these interview questions done and I’m not gonna have the time.’

‘When do they have to be in for?’

‘Today…’

Then ‘Firmonnell’ and Mel chipped in as we all conferred and discussed how WE EACH believed a first date should run. (This is why you need your chick friends. Mine are more than helpful when it comes to Wunna land.)

Now we’re really different from one another and all in three different situations. ‘Firmonnells’ married. Mel has a brand new ‘love swirl’ and I’m completely and utterly single. We all like different things in men. Will make different date choices. BUT, after a table chitter chatter, as we overlooked the town, behind a giant glass window, in the middle of our day of business…I actually realised that when to comes to a FIRST DATE, WE ALL WANTED THE EXACT SAME THING and it had nothing to do with the type of guy. Nothing to do with what he’d look like, or how much a date would cost, or where we’d go….?It had nothing to do with the any of the superficial bits of a ‘first date’ and had everything to do with his manner….How thoughtful and creative he would or could be…..SO THOUGHTFUL and I say it all the time, is the new sexy…Yet only to the girls who are emotionally grown.

I can’t tell you anything more about the conversation, as well…you’ll be able to read my answers in the digital feature when it comes out.

We got so engrossed in talking about it, that I only answers ONE of the questions, so I have the rest to do now. But i’m excited because at least everything i’m saying is real and true to what I honestly believe. It’s always based upon my own life experience and not some well PR’d drivel. I do always ask others about their own opinions and life experience, but so I can see something from every angle. Teams are better than going it solo. If your ream is correct. be it in love or business. (I say that ALL the time also.)

Anyway, ‘Firmonnell’ had to dash off after we chatted about Valentines Day cards..

Mel: ‘Is there a card that just says I LIKE YOU? Y’know, so I don’t have to do the whole I LOVE YOU thing?’ 

Firmonnell: ‘I’d really like an I LIKE YOU card. It’s hilarious. You know that there’s now a dating site, where you find your perfect life partner by matching ALL the things you HATE? We’d be good at that!’

Hahaha!

Then as Firmonnell swung out the door, Mel and I discussed the ‘Chrissie Wunna’ brand. (I’m single. Have I told you that i’m single? Lol. So, I don’t have to fuss over the whole what ‘valentines card do i buy’ muddle. I can just buy myself a cocktail and wink at my own mirror image. 🙂 I’m fine with that because Cupid is quite obviously a twat OR saving me for something awesome? See, how I tried to be positive then…Lol.)

But yes, obviously this whole ‘Chrissie Wunna’ thing is turning into a brand…by accident and like i’ve said, there’s opportunities a knocking always, yet for me finding the correct team to work alongside when it comes to brand management, isn’t easy. I’ve had investors ask to meet me and I like that they sort of believe in ‘this little girls’ blog and think that i’m onto something great. That makes me feel warm…

So Mel and I discussed paperwork, business deals and futures…

Then I don’t know what happened, but we then decided, whilst boiling a kettle, that instead of having a bunch of business types and solicitors fight over or *barter/back & forth* it into Wunna land, we should just gather them ALL into a room and make them have a DANCE OFF. Haha.

Whoever wins, gets Wunna Land. Deal Done!

YES! I totally know geniuses. I’m sold. I Love it! I’m in! Yes to ‘The Robot.’

Then we realized that time had got the better of us and had to get back to work…

That door swung straight back open and we dashed out, with a tea and a phone in our hands, to make good shit happen….

The day flew….but I remember hours late, as I had flounced on my ‘Little Mistress’ faux fur and grabbed my bag, ‘G’ was stood at the top of first flight of stairs…

I absorbed it all really quickly, as I had to dash off madly, but she looked down the flight of stairs at ‘Fairytale Blond, who was sat down working, and with the biggest smirk on her face, she twizzled a pink pen, that she effectively stole and with a warmth of evil victory, simply said,

‘Look what I’ve got…’