Glitter Storms, Love & Haters…

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So much has happened over the last few days. I don’t even know where to begin? *Jeeze.* I’ve actually started to write a blog every single day, yet abandoned it half way through, knowing that I wouldn’t ever post it? *No clue why?*  Then I’d pour a wine, ponder and just get on with my life.

Life is wonderful right now. I’m feeling pretty blessed.

This lil’ kitten has come a long way…

I’ve been enjoying family time, with Ruby, Junior & the rest of The Wunna’s, away from any drama. I need time with the people that love me and know me, better than anyone else in the world. It’s my ‘safe’ place, where life feels cosy. I’ve loved bumping into you all though and I’ve loved meeting and greeting you. I’ve met some ‘Wunna Ful’ characters.

But as always, drama found me.

Hideeho!

Yipppeeee! Hurrah! Drinks for everyone! Glue sequins on ya *ta taas* and shimmie hell for leather.

(Just so you know, i’m currently blogging from the ‘Ego Mediterranean, Beverly Arms’ restaurant in Ackworth. Again…another ‘safe place’ that I love. The staff are wonderful to me here.)

Okay…

Things in Wunna Land are a changing. I can feel it. I’m chilling but excited?

There’s a swirl of magic meandering through my land. It’s a FEEeeeEEEELING. It’s sexy. Yet it’s both confident and cautious at the same time. It’s flirtatious and filled with ambition. But it’s loving. It’s fun. It almost as if this meandering swirl is prepping me for ‘things to come.’ It’s light, but it’s dark and if I could describe it as anything, it would mirror the ‘tick tick, tock’ before you hear the big…

‘BOOM.’

It’s a good *boom,* though. I’m in a really good place. I’m happy. I’m 10 percent nervous.. for no reason, because life has made me that way. But, on the whole. I’m happy! I’m 90 percent all good.

Flashback: 

I once sold myself to a guy LA, with the line,

‘I’m awful and insensitive. I’m 98 percent bad.’

He replied with…

‘That’s 2 percent good to me. 😉 ‘ 

Right now, I’m feeling pretty confident and confidentially pretty.

It’s weird because a lot is going on. A LOT. It’s very busy and i’m feeling all sorts. In all areas of my life..A LOT…is a happening…. and i’m enjoying it, while I can, away from the madness. Y’know, before there’s a Wunna Land glitter storm. 😉

There will be a Wunna Land glitter storm…

(Well, i’ve worked so hard for one…So we’ll see. Lol) 

I will say that, I’m expressive by nature, so I do feel a little suppressed. It’s not a fun feeling for me. But i’m lucky. You will always here me say, that i’m one of the luckiest girls in the world.

There’s a ton of things that I can’t talk about just yet, which I always find really hard. I’m not one to favour the ‘bottle it up,’ or ‘keep it a secret’ kinda tip toe. But, obviously…I do it anyway, because I have to.

I don’t enjoy it though.

It gives me a rash and jittery anxiety…and there isn’t a cocktail that goes well with either. Lol.

The good thing is that i’m feeling inspired again….Once you lose your inspiration you’re jiggered. Well, I am anyway. I always need to feel it. I find it sexy, as I do thoughtfulness.

I always pick work, and men, who inspire me. It’s literally my favourite feeling, in the world.

I guess, that’s why I always hope to ALSO inspire. If I do nothing else, from this point on….I know that there’s people around the world, (and i’ve found myself in some rather sticky situations, crossing Mexican borders, at The Playboy Mansion, in horror sex dungeons, on shoots, in giant jail cells in LA, on sets filming tv shows, homeless in New York, on red carpets…all sorts. Lol. )  I know that there’s people i’ve touched (lol, that sounds rude,)…People who i’ve meant something to, made better, or ignited some kind of thought or feeling of ‘happy,’ ambition, passion or ‘love.’

That makes all this worth it.

I took a couple days off to to ‘not concentrate,’ to sack some part of my work off, to rebel, get a little lost. Embrace the naughty part of me. I do that BRIEFLY because when I do, i’ve learnt that it helps me appreciate THIS part, the part where i’m at now!

THE FOCUS.

It’s given me drive, it’s filled me with excitement and reined me back in, y’know to CONCENTRATE on what i’m MEANT to be doing. I’m a ‘good time’ gal. I’m easily distracted by a fun looking ‘beckon’ and beckons come from every corner, in my world.  New ‘beckons,’ old ‘beckons,’ big ‘beckons,’ small ‘beckons.’ ‘Beckons’ you didn’t even know existed. I have a great friendship with fun. But it always wins, every time.

It’s my kids and my Mother, that keep me grounded. If i stuck to my own rules of discipline, i’d go delightfully bonkers. 🙂

But yeah…

I’m loving all my questions, that you’re sending me on my Insta Story. They’re fun. I have scroll down pages and pages FULL of them, so I can’t get through them all,at once. But I try to do as many as I can…at random.

I love it.

I’m noticing a lot of focus on my love life, my sex life, my ‘tell us what is going on’ life? Lol. My merry little ‘MOJO’ seems to be on FIRE. I have no clue why and I never really have had any clue why, at all? Yet, I guess my ‘milka shaka’ is bringing ALL the Boys, their Brothers, their Son’s, Uncle’s, Father’s and next door neighbours pet hamsters, to my yard. Lol.

What can I say? It’s a hard old life! Haha.

(But I did receive a question from a chick, who thought I was so lucky, because she couldn’t get a guy to message her back, let alone catapult himself at her.)

And like I always say, I’m very very flattered (and for once there’s some really good choices, lol,) yet please do realise that all these guys, are thinking with their willies and not with their hearts. It’s the one that gives me BOTH, that i’m gonna go for. The one that actually, truly loves me. The one who ends up being my best friend. My life partner.

Everyone has this giant misconception that I can Wunna *Wink* and have any guy I want.

NOT TRUE AT ALL. I DON’T KNOW WHY PEOPLE THINK THAT?

Just like every girl in the world..I have cried into my wine, millions of times over guys. It’s what we do. J I’ve been pretty good at it, over the years.

But if you know me personally (and that’s why I love doing my insta question because it lets you get to know me personally,)  you’ll know i’m shit at choices, and when there’s too many, I run, hide and bury my head into the sand, until Mr.Right calmly beckons me out, with a warm heart, smile and wine.

I’m a hopeless romantic, with a naughty twist. Dudes, must like that? I should write a book on it..

OH SHIT! I AM! 😉

Away from that, a lot f people messaged me regarding some boring ‘girl drama’ that I had over the weekend. The reason why I haven’t chatted about it in depth, is simply because I thought it was so pointless and the chick involved wasn’t and isn’t not worth the air time. But I don’t want another message about it…So…listen up..

I went on my Facebook profile, went down the my birthday list and wished every single person on that list, ‘Happy Birthday.’

(I know, how insane of me. *Rolls Eyes.*)

Three of those people on that list, I actually knew personally. The rest were fans.

The girlfriend of one of the guys, I sent Birthday  love to,  was lovely…and sent me kisses.

A different girl, who I dates one of the OTHER guys I sent ‘Happy Birthday’ to….WENT MENTAL. (Yeah..I know.)

She went  MENTAL because I had a friend ‘Happy Birthday’ on his Birthday, because she is so incredibly terrified that he might secretly want me. She doesn’t know me personally at all. She knows OF me. He doesn’t even know me that well…Yet all my friends and I have chatted to him loads of times at the pub. Nothing major. Nothing too interesting. Just banter.

For some reason, I make this woman feel uncomfortable. My existence unlevels her security. But it’s all in her head though and that’s what bothers me. ( I mean let’s be realistic here. I don’t need to chase HER man, nor do I wish to. It’s almost like a joke! What is her problem? Honestly, if you placed our lives up against each other, they couldn’t be more different. Thankfully, WE couldn’t be more different. You’d laugh. )

Regardless, she goes out of her way to be horrible to me. She makes general rubbish up about me. She apologises to me…and then goes mental again. I don’t think it’s okay for girls to blame their own insecurities on other girls, who they don’t even know personally. It’s makes you less beautiful.

I don’t think it’s okay to hate on someone, name call, bully, or violently threaten a girl. I’ve just joined the ‘Blend out Bullying’ Campaign, in Glamour Magazine. I think it gives ladies a bad name in general. Especially, during a time of girl empowerment. I think it’s messy. I think it sets a bad example. I also think it’s disgraceful that a grown up woman, and her friends (lol) feel the need to send me almost ’17 year old girl’ like, threats, ending in ‘slag/tramp…’ blah, blah, blah.

So I guess, I wanted to tell the story, just in case any of you find yourself in such a position. (I mean things like this never bother me, I’ve grown a thick skin over the years. I’m used to it.) However, if you’re NOT, do know that all THEY’RE DOING is showing THEIR OWN WEAKNESS. No *noisy* reaction, leaves bullies powerless. It kind of makes them irrelevant. It ‘blends them out.’

And the thing is, they could’ve messaged and slagged me off ALL NIGHT. All it would’ve done, is motivate me to do EVEN BETTER, than I already am.

Success is the sweetest revenge. Use your energy wisely.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Blend Out Bullying with Glamour Magazine

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I have the busiest October. But i’m SO happy. I haven’t been this happy in a long time. I’m beaming. I’m brimming over with a ‘rushy’ swirl of glee. It’s not even cocktail infused. It’s bubbling from my lil’ kitten soul.

I have so much going on. I stiletto stepped out of a big audition yesterday. One that came out of nowhere, via an instagram message. (Do not underestimate the power of social media.) I’m influencing a lot. I’m leaving my *Wunna* glitter stamp, wherever I journey. I’m living. I’m loving. I’m still very single. My love life is unfortunate. I’m still the eligible bachelorette.  I’m feeling 37 and sexy. But most of all, I’m using my voice, now that I have a voice…to inspire.

The only reason why I write this blog, is to inspire other humans, via my own ‘colourful’ story. You’ll probably do things differently to me. Yet, you’ll feel my story, my journey…and remember.

I’ve documented my existence for 10 whole years on THIS website, (it started on Myspace, but got deleted by a grumpy,) via a diary. This year is my 10th anniversary. I can’t believe i’ve stuck it out.

So…Yesterday…

If you didn’t know, I’m a massive Glamour Magazine fan. It’s a delicious edit of work, that has been my companion on many a train journey, shoot, quiet moment or hotel stay. It’s a written ‘show’ of utter bliss and excellence, to me. It’s glamourous, yet comforting. A somewhat young & modern, *twist* of excitement, that not only makes you see, but FEEL. It’s a magazine that will take you from ‘girl dom,’ to WOMAN hood. It’s a glamourous ‘prep school, ‘ that will give you a solid, yet fun insight, as to ‘what happens next.’

I bought this month’s edition…

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I treasured it with my life, because it just felt so good, even before I turned a page. I skimmed through it, because that’s what I always do at first. I need it to ‘flutter,’ through my mind.

YET, mid ‘flutter,’ I *paused.* I stopped a second. I really did stop..and I absorbed.

The ‘Blend Out Bullying’campaign.

Okay, so we all know that i’ve lived a life. If I have nothing else, I have a story to tell. I’ve documented it all, from life as a model, living all over the world, Hollywood nights, being Asian, with a Yorkshire birth, marriages to actors, break ups, time as an actress, my failing love life, motherhood, my ups, my downs, m crushes, my stints on TV and well…my last 10 years has had you follow my existence…daily.

When this happens…people talk. I have my own lil’ patch of Cyberland…and yes, NOW, I have SO much support, it’s incredible. I mean, if ‘Sex and The City’ & ‘The Osborne’s’ was Asian and had a baby…it would be me.

I’ve ended up in newspapers and magazines, which again…made people talk. A lot of wonderful things have been said about me…However, i’ve taken a lot of *FLAK* over the years…and that ‘FLAK’ used to affect me massively, in my 20’s. In my 30’s, now that i’ve graduated to ‘WOMAN,’ it’s ‘shaped’ me beautifully and glamorously. I’ve never let myself be a victim of cyber bullying openly…but I have been ‘labelled’ and named everything under the glitter sun and back.

After the life I’ve lived…It’ll take a lot more than ‘a few words’ to get me down. 

But here are some of the NEGATIVE words that people have called me…

Fake. Fat. Ugly. Ching Chong. Gold Digger. Chubby. Old. Wannabe. Nobody. Disgusting. Talentless. Dumb. Bitch. Whore. Slut.

I’ve even received ‘death threats.’

‘You should DIE because you’re so ugly. I will kill you. You should get raped. ‘ 

All this was luckily mingled in with ‘I love yooou’s’ which made all the difference. It balanced it out for me emotionally.

I lost two close friends of mine. Both appeared on reality shows. Both took their own lives, because of cyber bullying.

I was just someone who ‘took it on the chin.’ I was surrounded by love. I hoped, I had a purpose. I still do. It kept me going. Infact being a Mum and having an audience…kept me going.

I heard…

‘You’re too old to do this…’

I’m not too old. I’m actually doing it. It’s like i’m in my prime.

I’m delicious.

I saw what Nabela had done. (Please DO make sure you’re reading your editorials in magazines. Being a blogger, I KNOW that they’re not JUST written for kicks. They’re there to INSPIRE you. You’d hate it if you wrote a piece, an article, a blog, or a diary and everyone said that, they ‘only looked at the pictures.’ )

Every inch of me wanted to be involved…

Just like that, (i’m a doer, not a talker…So many people have ‘talked’ at me and done nothing…I’m not that. I’m too ‘sizzle.’)

I JOINED THE ‘BLEND OUT BULLYING’ CAMPAIGN with Glamour Magazine, to help make a difference and strip all bullies of their power.Every day a ‘keyboard warrior’ reckons they’re getting the better of me, I almost become stronger.

How many of you bought Glamour Magazine, this month, read the article, thought it was great, but didn’t bother to do it? Y’know…take action?

JUST SAYIN’

No matter what, I honestly believe that every single human, has had someone, somewhere say something negative to them, or about them, at some point, that has hurt them emotionally. Right? Sometimes we bite back. Sometimes we can’t, or we don’t.

HELP DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

I’m 37 and grown. I’ve lived a life, where i’ve heard  all sorts said about me. It bounces off me, like a bee sting…and ends in total glitter. I don’t even feel it anymore.

However, being immune to the problem, doesn’t make it better…does it?

Yesterday, I chose 4 hurtful words, that others had labelled me…and I wrote them on my face in concealer.

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Then I *BLENDED* them out…into my face.

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As I was doing it, I felt EMPOWERED, because I knew I was brave enough to ‘Middle finger’ the peeps who had ‘labelled’ me AND because I felt that I had the backing of my favourite magazine and of those who root for Wunna Land.

Hang on a second…

Right, so…

I’ve just this second, uploaded a video to youtube of my ‘blend.’

After all that, I then posted a picture of the result…Which was this…

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I never felt so beautiful. I don’t feel old. (I embrace my time and my age.) I don’t feel fat. (I’ve always felt good about my body.)  I don’t feel ugly (I love my lil’ Asian features,) and I’m certainly not fake. (There’s a whole lot of TV to prove it. Haha.)

To anyone who takes the time to red this blog..I firstly THANK YOU, as it’s not like a usual ‘cheeky’ Wunna blog. I have a message today. It’s kinda like ‘The Bible’ but bouji. 😉

It takes ONE MOMENT to simply write a word on your cheek and blend.

Join the ‘Blend out Bullying’ campaign today.

Make a difference…

You could even save a life.

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Thank you for following my life…

Chrissie,

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