Girls Are Mental & I’m Feeling Frisky

If I wake up with a cat on my head again, i’m going to be fuming. I’m a glamour puss. I need to wake up calmly….not with something eating… *wink, wink, nudge, pout*……..my head. 😉 Any other form of ‘eating,‘  of course.. with my consent….is fine.

And do know, that i’m not being intentionally meaning to be smutty….I firstly, really do have a pet kitten named ‘Rocco’ who ate my head this morning…and secondly…right now, I feel like i’m on heat! Haha. I’m a proper ‘old aged’ horn ball.

I don’t know what’s wrong? (What’s right!!! 🙂 ) What’s wrong, with me? Maybe i’m wearing too many faux furs, or eating too much protein? Who knows? But my libido button, has certainly been switched to….’WORKING.’ (And i’m naturally excited by sensuality anyway…so you can IMAGINE how i’m feeling right now.)

*Takes the faux fur off. Puts down the chicken drummer.*

HOSE ME DOWN.

Oh and here’s a quick memo for ya….The above paragraph doesn’t mean you all have toslide into my DM’s’ immediately…At least give it an hour. Lol. I might have calmed down by then….

I’m joking. I really am. I might not be a Virgin Princess, yet just because i’m heated doesn’t mean i’m gonna come running, across fields, with my ‘frillies‘ down by my ankles. (Across fields?? Who do I think I am? It sounds so ‘Sound of Music’…if it was a porn?)Even though everything in Wunna land is done with a wild panache. Do know, that I’m the utter Queen of Self Control. I’m good stock, me 🙂

Mwahahaha!

So, it’s maybe five o clock in the morning, I’m in some satin dressing gown, getting my face done, getting ready to shoot and I look down at my phone and I see 44 Whatsapp notifications. 

When I see this, i know it’s from a group chat, something dramatic and 100 percent from the girls. Boys aren’t like that. (Apart from that one time in LA, a million years ago when Corey called me 22 times in a row for kicks. He even sang on one of the voicemails….Voicemail 22 was simply…’This is call 22, Wunna. Let me in.) I actually kinda liked it. I found it funny. He owns a huge Real Estate company in LA now…So I won’t gobble on about it anymore… in case it gets him into corporate trouble. As that would be shit.

Anyway, so I figured the ‘drama’ couldn’t be too dramatic because I only saw two of them for a wine lunch on Friday?

I was wrong.

My chick friend ‘Hustle Barbie’ left her boyfriend, packed a suitcase and is now officially single. (She’s headed to stay at her other chick bestie’s home and has packed a suitcase, containing ALL her life necessities…. which only consists of bikinis and Himalayan Salt Lol… )

I love her for that. I mean, even though it’s probably a really difficult time. The wonderful thing about it all, is that she took a chance and committed to a ‘new chapter.’ She wasn’t scared to find her own piece of happiness…She wasn’t scared to live… and I respect that.

Always go with your gut instinct, Always stay loyal to what makes you happy.

I mean I go on about life all the time and how important it is to fully LIVE IT, enjoy it and take those chances…and people sometimes put fear in your soul, to stop you from finding your own piece of ‘happy.’ They’re own insecurity makes them do that to you.

Don’t be part of a couple that doesn’t fit. If it doesn’t make you smile. If you can’t feel the *spark*… It’s just not worth it…for either party.

Always go with your gut instinct. Always stay loyal to what makes you happy.

To be honest, I don’t actually know what’s going on with the girls right now? I love them madly. But I don’t get to see them so much anymore, because I’ve been SO busy with work. Entertainments got a good *grip* of me right now…and i’m working really hard, things are going great…

Mel: ‘Chrissie? If she’s still alive…Where are you?’

We did have lunch on Friday. (They all seem to be breaking up with their boyfriends for Summer Lol. They’ve labelled it ‘Divorce Club.’)

Here’s snippets:

Me: ‘Honestly, you need to stop. You’re making yourself look crazy. Don’t send him a crazy message, get no reply and then justify the crazy message with an *i’m not crazy, honest* message. Hahaha. JUST STOP TEXTING!!! STOP! TEXTING…NOW!’

‘She’s right, just vent on me instead. Tell ME instead.’

Me: ‘Yeah. I vent on her all the time…It works, then you never send that crazy message! You’ve relieved yourself of the stress.’

‘Remember when you went mental over that golfer!’

‘Was she even hot?’

‘It wasn’t about hottness.. Lol.’

‘And if you’re going to send a crazy message…commit to it. Don’t justify it.’

Me: ‘STOP TEXTING.’

‘I just don’t want him to think i’m creepy. I’m not creepy.’

‘But don’t text him *i’m not creepy* Haha.’

‘Well, yeah, because it obviously makes me sound creepy. But I’ve done it now though.’

Bottom line, girls can’t help it. Whether they’re stalking your ex, pining for your attention…creating fake Facebook profiles…Whatever it is….It can’t be helped. It’s hormones…I think?

I mean, we can’t find a hair bobble, when it’s around our flipping wrist…but we know what you did in 2011, with your Dad in Paris. Lol.

And before you all start…I’m not part of the ‘social stalk club. And the reason why I’m not is firstly because people do it to me ALL OF THE TIME…and CREATE ALL OF THE WRONG JUDGMENTS, before they even know me.

I guy once sat next to me in a bar, a few months ago… when I was with my friends…(he was trying to make me go for a drink with him,) but Googled me, whilst I was STILL SAT THERE and went through my whole entire bits of ‘news,’ out loud, with me…in the weirdest sort of fashion? Didn’t try to get to know me at all? Just read out my life to me…in a CV like fashion.

Now, I don’t mind people looking people up. I do it, ALL the time. We ALL do it, when we meet someone new. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s handy, innit. 😉

BUT I’m polite, so I do it behind your back, 🙂 which makes it okay.

Hahaha. Plus, I was sat right there. He didn’t think to just talk to me, or chat to me, or ask me questions? I liked the attention, but didn’t like the guy. Bad form. Make convo. I mean, men are men, they should know how to win over a girl. It’s human nature.

The second reason why I don’t ‘social stalk’ is because I like to live with my ‘rosie tinted’ specs on, thinking all is okay, fine and dandy. I play the ‘ignorance is bliss‘ game. I don’t look for trouble. Meaning, I won’t ever find it. I’m therefore *blind* to it. Blind and happy, as can be. I don’t wanna know. I also don’t like the sound of a breaking heart. I like an easy life. No stress. Just ‘good times.’

But yeah, chicks are mental. It’s not like you didn’t know that anyway.

I did have a laugh with the girls though, even if they asked me where I sloped off to sometime last month, when we all went to Nat’s birthday…

Me: ‘ Oh, I felt tired…so I said I was looking for you, but just walked out the door and left. Hahaha.’

Hahaha. I ALWAYS DO THAT! Yet, I always tell ONE person…then just slope off quietly. I just needed a sleep. I’d been at fittings all day.

However, I’m glad I did leave now, because they all woke up at my chick friend ‘Double B’s’ house.

One.. found joggers…

‘Who’s random joggers are these?’

One… in the dirtiest crop top ever..

‘What the fuck have you got on? Why does it look like you’ve picked it out of a bin. It has rips and disgusting stains on it.’

‘Double B’ (the hostest with the mostest) apparently woke all the girls up, at the crack of dawn, with her FULL FACE on and in a KIMONO.

Hahahahaha. I’M DYING. I LOVE IT. I WAS SO PROUD. THAT IS SO ME.

Then she had to move her car, so she put joggers on, UNDER HER Kimono and moved her green gangsta Mercedes, so people could do the ‘walk of shame.’

That’s friendship.

I’m glad i went home early and missed it all. Lol.

Cya,

Thank you for following my life. x

 

 

 

Reflective, Rummy, Right, Wrong Life Coaching

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I thought today seemed somewhat average, until I got myself home, slipped into the comfiest pj’s, had a quick phone chat with a good friend, who  motivates me, tied knots at the end of a few business bits, welcomed my Mum and poured myself a fresh gin and tonic. Once i had sat on my bed and hit that ‘starfish’ relax mode button…i sort of reflected back over my day and realised how great it actually was..and i think it was because it ended on a moment, where in which i found myself getting to know someone, who i’ve known is great and known for a short while, yet didn’t realize HOW great. It was sort of moment where in which your rapport/relationship with another being, (in my case a work chick) steps onto a new level of closeness and ‘getting to know.’I love expressive people and i love learning, understanding and sharing life experience and it seems that in that moment, time didn’t matter and we could have sat and chatted for hours over wine. We seem really different, but we have similar values and i respected her with laughter and love, simply because like me, she’s a being who no matter what will tend to whatever life chucks at her, find a solution, love and get through life with bells on…because you have to..and at the same time understand how important is it to ENJOY life. Cherish them.

She made my day worth it.

On a funnier note, and much earlier on…There i was all perky, just chatting about psychics, my humourous failed marriages, my love and everything inbetween, with all the blonds, in all of the land, as I stalked people on twitter on my lunch break and didn’t get a salad like i intended.

There was back ache and chicks wishing for ‘Menopause for Christmas.’ It got so chirpy that i listened in and belly laughed at  friends who had chosen a to theme the upcoming months with vibes of a distinct smoggy tone. LOL. It was so joyous, you could’ve slit your wrists to Adele songs…

‘It’s like Desperate December, Dry January, Fuck All February, Moody March, Awful April… IT NEVER ENDS.’

You kinda had to be there, to appreciate the moment, but it ended up being so hilarious, to the point where the life *pause* button was hit and giant laughter filled the room. (I loved ‘Fuck All Feb!’ Haha.)

I’ve got a lot going on right now. Day job, babies, blog, social stuff and this whole showbizzy magic that suddenly sprouted from nowhere. I’m being offered a lot of opportunity and to the point where i’m even having to pinch myself.

There’s a lot of interest in the blog right now, which i adore because it about life, well my version of life in general. Some people love it, some people think it’s pointless, some people live for it, read it when bored…or hate it. Yet the people with their own blogs, who waste their time hating on it, or the ones who are far to evil in their sense of competition, are usually the people who aren’t doing as well. 😉 So i’m laughing. When YOU wake up to your ‘blue tick,’ then that’s when you can sort of ‘size your blog up’ against mine. So SHUSH. *Selfie here.* Be positive and concentrate on your own delicious life content, instead of picking holes in mine. Have a RUM cocktail. (They do great ones in Tiki Bars in Manchester. 😉 )

Rant over. Bra adjusted. Can you tell i’m ‘due on.’ 🙂

I had a great convo today about love and breakups. Y’know when people hold onto the past after breaking up with someone that they may have been with for years, like say…three or four years… Or whatever it is?  Yes it is a long while to spend & share with another human that you love. However,  you shouldn’t be glum after breakups that are meant to happen, because if you look at the BIG PICTURE… FOUR YEARS, in comparison to the amount of life that you have left on this planet..as in DECADES AND DECADES AND DECADES AND MORE DECADES (if you’re lucky) isn’t that long. It’s like mulling over 3 little years, when you have 4o somthing or more years LEFT of your life. That’s a lot of life to fit a lot of new beginnings or true love in. Those 3 or 4 years really ARE ‘just a chapter,’ of your story, until to finally end up with your soulmate.

If people just looked at things more positively…then they wouldn’t hold onto the ‘ouchy’ parts. Everything happens for a reason, so take the time to see what’s currently great in your life and why it is! By all means feel pain. It’s healthy. I’m an emotional, yet glamourous soul and i’ll feel everything. (Even you. 😉 ) Even if there is a sense of bravado that is displayed. Yet don’t dwell. Just remember. Experience is essential, be it good or bad, as it forms you. SAY ‘YES’ TO MORE THINGS, learn to say ‘no’ when you’re selling yourself short and create ways positively to adapt to life, when things have maybe changed permanently.

I’ve had a lot of change this year. But it’s been a great year for me. It’s been eventful, alive and champagne dripped in moments, filled with good times and laughter. Right now, if i’m honest, i’m going through a healing time, because so much has happened all at once and yeah it has been wonderful, but ofcourse a shock to my system. Change shocks me, so i need these reflective moments of ‘heal.’

I’m such an ego maniac that i know all the great things about myself. Lol. But i have noticed that i don’t always take credit where credit is maybe due and by nature i’m great at BEING generous to others, be it in work, play or love. However, i need to make sure, moving forward that others are being generous towards ME also. I need to  make sure that things are fair and that i’m never being taken advantage of…and it’s those moments of ‘heal,’ that’s what I need to work on.

It’s a happy time of year for me. I’m lucky. But i am noticing around me that it’s a strange time of year for others. As like i said, this time of year is reflective and ‘togethery.’ People tend to be reminded of the year and memories (good or bad)  and they over what they could’ve had, or should’ve done…It sort of all gets replayed, doesn’t it? Don’t feel bad if you’re going through that phase, as it really is a normal part of being human. Just don’t let it control you and instead try to simply ponder the moments, rub out those sandy footprints and make a point of moving forward with a positive outlook and that first strong,’after a long day’ cocktail. That way you CAN’T go backwards…and can only march forwards.

I’m not sure who died and made me ‘Queen of Life,’ but they did.. SO THERE. 🙂

GIVE ME WINE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

But a second hand emotion….

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I don’t even know what’s up with me, but i’m feeling on top of the world. I’m all bubbled with this positive *ooh* ness….and dancing in mirrors with pouts, to tunes from the 90’s, as my babies gallop around me and lip sync along like we’re some kind of failed pop band. I even woke up this morning, IMMEDIATELY grabbed my phone to use the ‘selfie’ mode as a mirror ;)…lol…just to check my teeth, (remember that i’m going through a whitening process that specialist Afsar Hussain at Hatfield Dental has put me on…i still have another week and a half of it, as i’ve been super busy…so i’m on a bit of a delay.) I had no face on, was half naked…with a white quilt appropriately draped across me, at six o clock in the morning and I didn’t even think i looked bad. I thought i looked good! AS IF! What is even happening? I’m just trampoline bouncing, on the spot, in a happy place, where in which i feel really lucky, really positive and emotionally balanced within the world….in eyelashes and boobies. Hurrah!

I’m still single and i’m feeling great! I’m warm, but super independent by nature. I can do togetherness and ‘my own thing’ with ease, without being naggy. It’s mainly because i’m used to it. I’ve been single and worldly long enough enjoy me, myself and I and also in plenty of loving and ‘not quite right’ relationships to get what togetherness is all about.  In my mind, until you have the exact right connection, (and ladies you will know where you stand because guys are pretty good at making it clear via both words and actions…or no words or actions lol,) then you’re wasting your time and in that time you just need to get comfy with yourself and cheer up. He’ll find you and come get you. If a guy likes you, he will not be so stupid as to lose you to some other dude with a quiff. Lol.

I see so many happy couples (like Vicky and Guy…Happy Birthday Victoria, they found each other late in life and are about to get married. Same with Emily & Mark..they did an online Yorkshire/Bermuda relationship for ages, each randomly flew to New York to go on their first date and have been happy ever since.)

But at the same time, and almost more of….so many stressed out chicks, who stress out over, what i see…as nothing. And so many dudes who feel all trapped in the ‘doo daa’ that they’ve chosen to be in. That’s not what love is about…and i’m only rambling on about this because I had one of my close LA guy friends message me yesterday with an ….‘I’m super sad.‘ (I’m am the chick all my guy friends and exes come to for chick advice, because i’m not doo..lally…most days 😉 .)

Now, i’m not going to tell you all about it, but i will say that he’s trapped in a shitty relationship, where in which love is chilling and has taken a back seat and control, mistrust and arguing has decided to shimmie on forward. YIPPEE! To the point where there is no love left..not even a drizzle of ‘yeah baby.’ When that happens…and you don’t have rum…you are doomed. Bottom line, he’s been offered a work opportunity in LA, which is away from where his partner is, yet when i say opportunity….(and LA is where we all grew up, …he is American by the way… so it’s kinda like home) it’s his own TV show opportunity, that he has aspired and work towards his whole entire life. Like this would be his dream come true. Got it? Good! Yet Instead of cheerleading him forward, (as that’s a wacky concept) his chick has turned completely bonkers, she doesn’t want him to take part in his ‘dream come true’ job lol,  she’s emailed his manager & employer a letter, stating how disgusting they are for employing him, because he will have to move away from her, for a bit and basically tried to ruin it. Hahah. (Like, i guess that is okay….like…NEVER! THAT IS NEVER OKAY! LOL!!)  She has fully committed to going down route crazy balls (haha, sorry i shouldn’t laugh, it’s a really stressful time for him lol) …and although i am quite partial to dedication…and Route ‘crazy balls’ is definitely fun if you enjoy a bit of drama… But it’s not like it would’ve been forever. Infact, if she didn’t go nuts, he would’ve just been going to LA to film it, before returning. Now, because of her nuttiness…he’s about to run off, do the show and never ever return. It’s done. He’s not super sad for leaving or the breakup, he’s super sad because he’s still stuck there until he gets to go to LA. Lol.  (Do know that i would never refer to any human as crazy unless i have seen substantial proof of utter irrational nuttiness and i’m the most open minded human on the planet.)

Now i’m a pretty good person to ask about things of this nature, as i’m a ‘you don’t mess with peoples dreams. ambition and careers’ kind of girl, it’s not fair to ‘ultimatum’ people, so i’ll see it from the girl and guys point of view and although warm, i’m honest and positive about the future.  PLUS,  my LA guy friends will come to me for advice on this, as when i was with Mike and he had nothing but a dream….he auditioned for everything, all day, everyday and finally got his break….He was ambitious and wanted to do well…and was an actor. Successful actors are away for ages. They could be flying to another state or country for weeks or months if they’ve booked a movie. It’s normal, it’s part of the job. It’s like with anybody in entertainment. And during that time, instead of being selfish, i supported him all the way with excitement…I was excited for him, it never really bothered me, as i wanted him to do well and i knew how much it meant to him…which showed LOVE and because he felt that he had a stable home life, that guy who couldn’t afford Burger King, with a headshot in his hand, at audition number 702…ended up feeling like he could conquer anything…and did. Three years ago he filmed a movie with Tom Cruise, he’s been on every tv show ever and has lots in his pipeline, with dollars in his bank. Now he could buy a million double whoopers. Lol.

And i don’t say it to sound one sided, as the LA guy friend who asked my advice is close to me. But people don’t ask for my advice unless they want a laugh, a power pep talk, positive honesty or to hand hold them through the tunnel into their next chapter, because they have already made up their mind.  PLUS, I have LEFT men, who have been negative in regards to support of any success that I may have had or want to have. Y’know what I mean, the ones that try to *squish* it, so that you won’t do well, out of their own insecurity, because if you do well, you might run off and leave them. Whereas it’s more, if they were confident, supportive and trusting…then they would now be building an empire with me. But hearts heal so much faster then they break. Break ups draaaaag. New love is quick and inspiring.

Anyway, he’s voted himself off the island and headed for pastures…Hollywood. Lol. And I don’t one bit blame him. He hasn’t done it yet…but he’s about to. ‘I’ll just leave her a letter that she can contemplate.’ (Oh Lord.) They’re not bad people, they just no longer understand each other…and once he hits LA, he’ll easily meet a completely different girl, with utterly different views, who understands his ambition, the nature of his work and more than anything…him. It happens all the time. I mean, i did tell him that it wasn’t going to be easy, as when you’re with someone that…how do we put it…’passionate’ lol…you better strap in, as that rollercoaster of ‘bye bitch bye’ isn’t going to be fun. He just laughed and said that he was good at getting away from things. Hahaha.

I guess guys need to achieve their goals, yet be more loving along the way, so their chicks know how much they mean to them. And girls need to be less controlling and have more faith in ourselves and our men. Love doesn’t have to be roses and chocolates, as it seems support, trust, loyalty and positive blessings go much further. And even though i’m girly, i’m quite ambitious and masucline when it comes to work, i’m a workaholic, i enjoy to make money, so i can see both sides of the coin .

Away from that, the BOTOX that i had done at Hatfield Dental has been AMAZING!!! It worked right away, first time and now i can’t frown. No wrinkles, nothing. I did feel my muscles paralyzing and it was odd. Yet now i’m used to it, it is quite frankly a remedy sent from the good Lord himself. So now i know, when i’m super old, BOTOX is the answer. Honestly, I swear, it is a miracle. I have never been more amazed in my life, aside from that time i actually woke up with a traffic cone parcel taped to my head. I was impressed and amazed that morning for sure. Lol. I’m surprised i even Goddamn woke up.

I have lots going on right now. The babies, work, Leeds Lifestyle Awards, Made in Leeds, a photoshoot and my NSPCC Tshirt campaign that i’m going to tell you about in my next blog. So get your piggy banks out and get ready to feel charitable. Nothing is going on in my love life….no one fancies me….

(Wait Keiran’s calling and he has Junior…one sec…)

I’m back, it was just about the dentist.

I’m feeling super chipper, super sexy, happy, but clumsy because i’m having to wear my glasses all day, as i forgot to order my contact lenses on time. I don’t know how anyone does anything in specs. They’re a nuisance. I’ve tripped up 40 times and got scared whilst driving everywhere. Such a girl. Lol. The last time i wore them, i was too busy looking at myself in a shop window that i tripped over a grate and fell on my face. A PROPER GOOBER. Lol. I’m a geek wrapped in tits. AND they keep falling down my nose. I don’t even look smarter. I walking around over cautiously like an absolute moron. Like the floor is about to open up and swallow me whole. 🙂