All Hot. All Bothered…..

Image may contain: one or more people, sunglasses and close-up

I am BOILING! It is RED SEXY HOT and we can’t even handle it. We moan when it’s freezing. We moan when it’s roasting. So I guess, we as jolly little humans, like with everything that we fancy, prefer it when things are just ‘alright,’ as anything too extreme gets to us. Lol. It must! 🙂

Now, I like it hot. I’m exotic. I’ll always prefer to be warm than cold. I have the ‘Burmese’ running through my veins with a dash of the West Hollywood sun tan. I can take a whole lot of sunshine and wink at it for more.

I’m in Yorkshire. (Which is where I was born and raised until I was around 19) and even I can’t take the heat right now….I’m a glamour puss. I glow. I don’t sweat. And I KNOW something must not be quite right, as I am certainly looking for a breeze! I can’t find one anywhere. I might melt into toffee at this rate. AND I WORE A DRESS THAT SQUASHED MY BOOBS IN ALL DAY. In heat…you need free fun boobies.

Nothing has really happened if i’m honest. I have a chilled out June and a busy July. ‘Firmonnell’ was naughty. I got done for swearing. Mel committed tot he executive decision of being hormonal and ‘Fairytale’ blond got her leg out. ‘Double B’ also decided to dress like she was going to a FUNERAL in the middle of our heatwave.

‘What you never know when you might need to pop over to one? I’m dressed and ready.’ 

Other than that, I literally have nothing else to report because i’m far too hot and bothered. I’m sat on my bed NAKED, with my boobies chilling out, my hair tied up on a scruffy ‘up do,’ with every window in the entire home open and no breeze in sight. I even have someone coming to read my tarot cards in a second. She better come with Pina Coladas or ice packs.

Everything’s going well. Life is pretty good. I’m just sweaty. 🙂

I will tell you that I AM SWIRLING.  Oh, LORD I am in a mad, mad, crazy swirl. A perfect swirl of utter deliciousness. I can’t even believe how lucky I am. I feel like a little girl, but one that finally grew up and after a ton of really rubbish times where Cupid had super shit aim….he finally cut me some slack, felt bad for me and pulled his diaper together. I don’t think I will ever, in my life, be this lucky again. That’s how great I feel. And it’s okay to tell everyone that you feel that way. I mean fuck it, right now, i’m telling the world…because it shows people that you aren’t afraid to be you, that you aren’t afraid to be human and that you bloody do care! Nothing is lovelier than that. I watch so many people be terrified to say how they feel about things…and it makes me CRINGE. That is not the way to live life, i’m sure. It’s certainly not the way to BE YOU or to embrace the things that you love. Go with it! YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE. No matter what.

I’m an expressive girl. I’m an open girl, but I’m a picky girl. But you’re a long time dead, so you need to enjoy everything that makes you beam, without fear. I’m all for that. And if you just keeps things simple, it’s amazing how far you can get.

I’m off now, I’m too hot and bothered to write. Plus, if i don’t wear a bra, i’m scared my boobies will go dangly. I’m definitely sure I can’t rock the ‘spaniel ear’ look.

Love you,

Chrissie

 

 

When Love Terrifies Me & I Get All Inspirey

I cannot even tell you how important it is for you to see the big picture. The big picture is that we’re all just performing our own version of life and doing it the best way we can, as we shimmie upon a giant Earth Ball, as were suspended in the snazzy old universe orbiting the sun.

What I mean is that we only REALLY have one life to live, so fucking live it. You literally have nothing to lose, as at the end of the day, who cares…(and this blog has been inspired after wataching the ‘Everyday Steve’ Vlog,) you should shout the loudest, live the way you’ve always wanted to, say what you what, when you want and behave without fear…

Love who you want, choose work that suits you best and just flipping GO FOR IT! It doesn’t fucking matter who you are, what you are, where you are…? In the end…we all end up at that same junction…shuffling off that jazzy mortal coil… six feet under, passing in our sleep and with no life left to enjoy.

We all end up that way. REGARDLESS! Rich, poor, young, old…? Regardless. So really GO for anything you want without doubt, fear or anxiety…because that’s what life is about. Find your happy. LIVE IT. Don’t give two shits about what other people think of you…as again…you have nothing (if you look at the big picture) to lose. GO FOR IT. Express yourself boldly. Or do nothing and when you’re 80 look back and realize how unhappy you are because you forgot to enjoy your time.

And i’m also saying this because currently my Snapchat stories on my feed seem to be filled with pornstar martini’s, private jets, luxury holidays, helicopter rides, beautiful holiday homes and just my friends doing their version of life. And they’re not doing it to be boasty, as I know each and everyone one of them closely. Well, one of them is doing it because their brand is to ‘show boat.’ However, the intention is to inspire.

But yes, one is ‘Fairytale Blond,’ one is a successful DJ, another a footballer, another business man…and they have ALL worked SO hard, almost every single waking moment of everyday, sacrificed shit loads to make their own dreams come true and it has..So it’s less about the ‘stuff’ and ‘things,’ as I know everyone reading this is emotionally grown up enough to KNOW that ‘stuff‘ and ‘things’ don’t matter. They’re lovely, but they don’t really matter when you’ve found unconditional happiness. We like them…we just don’t live for them or determine our worth by them.

If you’re young and reading this and aspiring for better times…’stuff‘ and ‘things‘ will still matter. I get that…I’ve been there and there was no worse place than Hollywood to be ‘striving.’ But once you have them and have enjoyed them continously…after working hard to get there YOURSELF…without the easy bus ride…I promise you that ‘stuff and things’ will just become ‘stuff and things,’ 😉 Sitting in a luxury five star restaurant, having everyone wait on you, is the same to me as ordering Peri Peri chips in a Yorkshire Nandos. Crying on your own, in an executive suite, is more lonely than trying to figure out how to cook smores by a tent in the woods with a bestie and no fire. (Real life experience. 🙂 )

I’ll be honest and tell you that the only part that I always struggle with, is my love life and it’s because that part scares me. I’m scared of it because i’m sure that I won’t get loved the way I want to be loved. I want to get it right. I don’t know why I keep getting it wrong? I always get it wrong and out of fear, because i’m exceedingly able to love wholeheartedly. I love, love.

Last night, I figured out what I wanted…and this morning…I made the other party aware, because I wasn’t terrified anymore.I decided to just fucking go for it, win or lose. You’ve got to. There’s no rules. If they care they are. If they don’t they don’t? There is nothing you can do. You only live once and I want to live, love and enjoy my time.

I’m an independent girl, you know that. I’m used to saying what I want and when i’m naughty, I’m used to getting applauded for it.  I’m used to getting what I want, when I can be bothered to try. Yet sometimes I lose my confidence over nothing and we shouldn’t because again WE HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE. It’ll be that one thing that throws you. Yet, don’t feel bad if you experience a ‘blip,‘ as it reminds you that you’re not lost, you’re just human.

But the emphasis of all my snapchat story feeds, is the fact that these people are celebrating the hard work that they’ve gone through and these people have worked their SOCKS off to provide themselves with a life that they have always wished for. Their version of ‘happy.’ It’s about living the life you’ve always wished for. They didn’t ‘get lucky.‘ They just worked hard and succeeded on purpose. That’s the formula. You can have whatever you want. Don’t be SCARED of it because there’s loads of people who aren’t terrified and they’ll *steam roll* over you.

I don’t just mean that in regards to’ stuff and things.’ I mean it with anything that you want, be it in love, just life, or with opportunities…Anything. Say your piece and stand by it. Say whatever you want, as long as you believe it. Work hard. Play hard. Enjoy it.

Know that you’re not going to have it forever

..and that it doesn’t matter where you ‘scale’ on the ‘what makes you happy’ charts…All that matters is that you get there.

Last night I gave an American Rabbi advice on Twitter, after he DM’ed me and asked me for the ‘jollies’ on how to perk the interest of brands. He’s a popular one. I found it great and exceedingly hilarious all at the same time, that someone like me… ‘Titty Blog Fest’ was giving a Jewish Rabbi ‘personal brand‘ advice. 🙂 I still find it funny. He was so sweet.

Being ‘Social’ is the future. No matter what job you have, if you want to make dollar, you need to make it ‘social’ for the big bucks. You know that thought, right? You can see it. When i was messaging the Rabbi work advice, I had also guzzled a bunch of wine and had Beenie Man playing in the background. Lol. It’s the smallest things that make my life ace…

YES TO FUCKING WUNNA LAND.

I don’t know what else to tell you, other than I had frantic business calls yesterday, I received a wonderful email from a brand that I am so lucky to be SOON working alongside. (We’re just going to be discussing the important parts and getting deals signed. I love hearing that they’re Chrissie Wunna fans. It makes my happy. It makes me feel like i’m actually making some sort of impact. Lol I LOVE THAT they had actually done their research. They knew a lot about me, to the point that they thought my entertainment CV was hilariously packed.

‘I don’t think i’ve ever been chased by an elephant. Your CV, tops my CV and i’ve done a lot in my life.’

(GOD! I must have been knackered because i’ve just woken up laid on my bed, with my knee high boots still on my phone in my hand and my laptop laid half on me, half off by my side. I’d fallen FAST ASLEEP and didn’t even realize!!!!! I’m such a granny. Who takes a nap MID BLOG.!!??!)

But anyway, I need food now. (I’m on a diet.) I thank everyone who has taken the time to read this. I hope it’s inspired you in some form. OR made you need a rum.

I took control of my love life today and it made me feel really great. Some times you’ve just got to set fire to your kinky boots, throw caution to the wind and with a bit of sass…go for it. Do things your way! Save a horse, ride a cowboy!

As if I just fell asleep!!! Hahaha!

And as if ‘Firmonnell’ has just sent me a message reading..

‘..she just came in and cried…naturally I just looked at my computer screen and pretended it wasn’t happening.’

(Firmonnell, who is one of my BEST CHICK friends and I are RUBBISH when people cry near us. We are not skilled enough to be able to make you feel better. And we don’t want to because we don’t care enough and can’t pretend we do. Lol. I think it’s because we’re ‘no sulking‘ kinda girls. We want you to ‘Man up.’ Once she saw ‘Double B’ crying and politely asked her to leave the vicinity and go make herself a coffee…cos coffee makes pain go away? Lol. What she meant was, ‘remove yourself from opposite me and do tears where it doesn’t make me feel awkward.’ Lol. I love her!

I can’t tell you the rest of what she said, as the intense laughter that you will experience will make you keel over and die and that wouldn’t benefit me, as I totally need blog hits. 🙂

Speak soon,

Chrissie x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wunna Dolls, Rum & Banter

My kitty eyes shot open at 2.47am this morning. YES! At 2.47am…THIS MORNING! I’m totally gonna feel it later when work kicks in and my brain decides to not work. I need a morning mimosa. *Gimme Gimme* Ugh! Cupboard is bare! 😉

When you can’t sleep, you have a troubled mind. That’s exactly what I have. There’s SO much swirling around it, that I pretty much swear that my forehead is ready to curl forward and *boink* the imaginary panic button. Hurrah!

It’s good, because everything is about work & opportunity..and there’s a lot. Yet, bad because i’m obviously not ‘on top‘ of it all. This blogging malarky isn’t as easy as I thought..when it turns into a business. I can’t even sleep. I think i’m gonna go with the ‘i’m a genius and can’t sleep’ line, yet really i’m just human and right now I THINK I ‘can’t do this all by myself ‘ line. BUT I CAN. I mean fuck it. I’ve done everything else by myself…including raising children.

I got up at 3am and worked. I worked. I whopped out my little pink laptop and worked. I planned my entire week and month out, to set Wunna Land into confetti hero showers. Now I just need to execute and not worry. Yet, I’m a creative and what i’ve learnt is that creatives need to JUST BE creative and have someone else deal with the harsh reality of business and building. Their two different things. Two different skills. I want to just be creative and tell my sassy little story. Plus, I learnt from one of my previous bosses ‘The Mighty’ that when one person does too many things, they fuck it all up and give a ‘lot of things 20 percent,’ instead of one thing a juicy 100 percent. IT’S TRUE!

Anyway, enough of all that. It’s boring me. I’ll quit being a walking ‘Sad Act‘ now. (The words of ‘Double B.’)

Yesterday was an ace day,  filled with good times, friends, work and sass. It made Monday less shit. I didn’t even have time to curl my hair in the morning and it didn’t even matter! 😉 I know! Wow wee!  *Wink*

We decided that I should create ‘Chrissie Wunna’ dolls, so that Firmonnell can give them to her children.

Firmonnell: ‘As soon as the Chrissie Wunna doll comes out, I’m buying them for my kids.’

But honestly, how fabulous would my ‘Chrissie Wunna’ doll be!! It’d have boobies and be all glamourous and when you pressed it’s stomach, it’s shout things like…

‘Fuck it!’

‘Where’s my prosecco…’

‘This is bouji!’

Firmonnell, Double B and Hustle Barbie literally DIED over this idea for a good…well minute… 🙂 , as then we got distracted because Mel started sauntering in with her ‘stress face’ asking our advice on tidying…Don’t know what happened but…

Mel: ‘How the HELL have I started a conversation about how to find the time to clean my house properly and it’s turned into a conversation about THRUSH???’

Me: ‘I’ve never had thrush.’

Double B: ‘I’ve had thrush and that thing where you have to drink cranberry juice.’

Firmonnell: ‘Y’know you can get nipple thrush from breast feeding.’

Me: EWW!

Mel: ‘Whatever Chrissie. I would’ve thought you would’ve had a a cocktail of STD’s in your time.’

Fairytale Blond: ‘I’ve had thrush in my belly button..

Me: ‘Lovely’

Hustle Barbie: ‘Did Prince Jonny put it in the wrong hole?’ Haha’

Fairytale Blond: ‘I need to take these shoes back, I bought them for Monte Carlo tomorrow..’

Me: ‘I wish my belly button looked more SHOCKED and less smiley.’

Firmonnell: ‘Yeah mine looks like it’s just chilling…

Then ‘Double B’ decided to remind me that her beau’s willy looked like..

‘…one of those fun scrubby things you can get to clean dishes with, y’know in your sink….with a fuzzy afro on top.’

He never gets a blowie and she really doesn’t care. Lol. She’s just laughs in the face of blow jobs, adjusts her bra and asks for a pork pie, as she tosses her blond extensions everywhere.

‘Taylors Butchers was shut. I tried to get a pork pie there yesterday!’

Then I’m not sure what happened…But we started taking about old people and how weird it would feel to be a granny and how if I was ON MY OWN and 80, i’d be alright because, I’d

‘…definitely smell of rum and sex.’

Much better option over moth balls. You either smell of Marks & Spencers, Cats, Toffee, Wee or Moth Balls when you’re a granny. That’ll be me one day and I’m gonna make sure I smell of rum whilst being wheeled down the corridors to…. (I have no clue where i’d be wheeled to? Lol) I’m gonna be a RUMMY granny.

Anyway, ass…ass? Lol. AS!!!

As much as I love you, I do need to dash. I have school runs and a full day of work to jolly onto. I have great boobs and a wink in my think, today. I’ll definitely be knackered later on. I swear this blog is like therapy for me. One day you’ll be covering my meltdown…BUT JUST NOT TODAY.

Work hard. Do well! Love lots!

Oh and follow me on everything, so I feel extra adored. Lol.

Snapchat: chrissiewunna1

(I don’t know who chrissiewunna is..but it’s not me and i’m sure she is far more naked or chatty…lol So do make sure you add the right one.)

Tweet me: @chrissiewunna

Instagram: chrissiewunna

Like my Facebook Fan Page: http://www.facebook.com/chrissiewunnadotcom

 

Men, Past Puddles & Work

Hiya! How’s Sunday going! I’ve been busy!

I can’t even tell you the whole shabam, if i tried. But i’ve worked hard, i’ve travelled, i’ve smashed ‘Bingo’ for booze, i’ve slotted in working with some huge brands that have decided to ‘dolly’ along with Wunna land, as apparently my words and face are a ‘good fit.’ 🙂 (It’s funny because if i do anything i ‘perform.’ But right now, i write about life, MY life..and important folk will tipper tapper at my door with opportunity, asking me to write a bit of this and jiggle a bit of that….which i adore because I find it easy…THEN they realize that i’m apparently aesthetically pleasing and a  bit of a ‘wonder’ when a camera is placed infront of me…THEN then realise that i have this ‘whip’ of a personality…and before you know it, i’m all signed, sealed, delivered and with bows on! It’s great! Life is good. By this time next year, i will have rinsed it. Lol.)

Over the last week, i’ve been ill, yet i’ve been everywhere and done everything. But mainly worked my kitty glitter socks off. I’ve had great moments with good friends and been understanding with people that might need to me see the world from their point of view, for the time being…which i’m good at. I’ve drank a lot of Prosecco. But i earnt it. And i’ve found the simple pleasures, like being Mum and typing the word ‘BOOBIES’ out on a calculator uplifting. (The kids and i have been closer than ever recently and it makes me smile because even though they’re five and three, everyone will tell you that it’s like they are fifteen and thirteen. They know SO much for being kids and i’m really not joking. I went to Parent’s Evening the other night and Ruby’s teacher, who told me that she was excelling beyond her years, said that he just couldn’t fault her because she was that much of a delight and that to be honest speaking to Ruby was like speaking to ‘an adult.’ Lol.  I mean, last night  when she went out to dinner with her Dad, she said she couldn’t WAIT to just get home, so she could ‘let loose and chill out with Mum.’ That made my heart smile. Not really for any proper reason, but just because It kinda made me feel as though I was doing a good job and when you’re a single mum, you collect those moments with pride. I’m having a funny moment with ‘The Dads’ right now as Keiran thinks Pete is trying to windle his way back into Wunna land and Keiran…well Keiran if he could, he would windle also. I however, have jumped over four fences, run a marathon, leap frogged over souls, danced under the stars and scissor kicked in heels and poll vaulted so far forward from those times, that there’s not looking back. I’m not one to  rewind, it’s pointless. I’m a forward mover, as i know how much life has to offer. I hate it when people, stay stuck, treading water in the mucky puddles of the past. I’m happy to have them in my life as Baby Daddies and respect them both. Yet, they can ‘windle’ all they wish..it won’t work. 🙂 )

What else did i want to tell you? So much has happened!

I have new friends moving to Leeds. I’m doing Pontefract, Leeds and Manchester right now, as a juggle. A Psychic told me that i would marry again. And i’m in a mode of fun, where in which i feel like i’ve worked so hard and done quite well, that even though it’s only the beginning, i deserve to ‘fun’ the rest of the year out. If you don’t have balance you don’t have anything. Plus, it’s my birthday in a month.

I was also told by one of my guy friends who knows me pretty well that i’m too daunting for a man to want to date me? To the point where in which a guy will like me, but shit himself because he’ll think that i’m not a safe bet, as i’ll one day i’ll leave him or rocket off with some amazing future career and he wouldn’t be able to sustain me?

Eh?

Am I? I’m not! I may seem daunting to the gents who don’t actually know me in real life. The ones that follow a stream of selfies, Facebook news feeds, a Google search or a blog. Yet, in real life…when there’s just me in my skin and bones, and a smile, and i’m right in front of you…i don’t reckon i’m that daunting at all. In fact, i’m ace when it comes to love. You couldn’t have a better team mate, to do life with and i’m confident of that. I’m quite a loyal, calm, stable romantic, who’s dipped in a sense of adventure. I’m fun. I’m stable and loyal because i hate uncertainty. But i value love and like i said, i’m never really worried, as the right guy will know i’m his soulmate…because he’ll feel it and he’ll not be bothered about the ‘what ifs,’ the ‘buts’ or the fear. It won’t be in his nature and i know that. He’ll take the time to get to know me, until he feels all comfy, as at first it’s always weird…and once he’s comfy…he’ll know and he’ll go for it, with his best shoes on and his quiff as high as the sky. Lol.

‘There are some people who could hear you speak a thousand words, and still not understand you. And there are others who will understand you without you even having to speak a word.’ 

Away from all that, i’ve put the Christmas tree up and whatever i’m not about hearing the ‘it’s too early’ bullshit. It’s never to early to embrace the merriment. It’s fucking Christmas. Get with it. If i want the tree up and to guzzle Bailey’s, I WILL and if anyone tells you that this time of mulled wine and Bailey’s is bad for you, cut them out, you don’t need that kinda negativity in your life. You need support and like minded fun others. Lol. Fyi, I’m going to look AMAZING during the Christmas season, as i have bought was astonishing sexerilla outfits for the art of cocktailing!

Ps/ I was watching Xfactor last night and i’m loving it. I don’t watch it all, but i only watch it for ‘Five After Midnight’ and ‘Honey G.’ I adore ‘Five After Midnight’ as like Schery says, when they perform it just does something to me and i get all giddy and delighted. 🙂 To me they’re amazing. So they’re my WINNERS. Fingers crossed. I could watch them for days. And ‘Honey G’…i just find her funny…so when there’s laughter, there’s always my support. So last night, after the boys performed i Tweeted my adoration for them and straight after they got off stage they retweeted it and my favourite one followed me. I loved it as for the first time, i felt like a proper fan. Hahaha. It made me feel really good! So from now on, when people send me adoration and Tweets, i’ve decided to show them some utter love back, rather than ignore them lol (i’m so polite) as it really does make you feel good.

 

 

 

 

Goolies, Newspaper Interviews & Peppa Pig

l (8)

Dolls! Gents! Kittens!

Happy Wednesday! (Well, I think it’s Wednesday? Is it Wednesday?)

I’m currently en route to work and i’m already as busy as a bee. My days are filled with work and my nights are filled with babies, and in between i’m blogging, vlogging, filming bits, errand running, auditioning and interviewing. It’s a lot, but i’m loving it. And, i’m getting lots and lots…and LOTS of messages from all of you, with your own fabulous Blogs, Vlogs and internet shows, who are wanting, well politely asking me to ‘share’ and Retweet, your links to Wunna Land followers…and I will, don’t worry….I’m just being busy and spending my free time with the babies…. (Plus, this week, i’m on promo for my New Vlog and this blog also) so it’s hard to wedge it all in. However, I haven’t forgotten…just so you know. )

Thank GOD, i did wine last night!

So, yes, I worked all day. Ben and I have pretty much gone onto work and promo mode, where we’re filming our own little things, constantly, editing and plonking them up for you to enjoy. *Add children. Add day job.*

But, no matter what two nights ago, he still managed to find the ‘executive’ time to find Ruby’s blue balloon pump, sit crossed legged next to me and in the name of ‘his own sense of humour,’ wedged it by my nipple and pretend *pump* up my boobies. I’d never seen him so flipping happy. Lol. I’m quite well humoured by such, so it was actually a hilarious moment. Until, and like boys do, (they take it too far) and well he started pumping up my *Lady part* (I don’t have a willy) at that point…laughing hit *pause.*

Then he got shouted at.

Yesterday, most of the day was dedicated to winding people up with Danielle, for kicks. It worked. We ended up accidentally making people cry for being bitches. (We think we’re funny. But we’re obviously just evil.) But whatever, they cried by champagne truffles, so life can’t really be that bad. Then smores (that got messed up) were made and the world turned back to ‘rosy.’

The late afternoon, was dedicated to talking about goolies and how some boys may have a ‘smelly set.’ It must be odd being a boy, and strutting with a pair of *hangers* in between your legs? When we reached the part of goolies, being stuck to legs, the conversation had to stop and we returned to being lovely once more..and continually smelling of ROSES.

(This was even sober talk.)

Great night with Junior last night. He’s such a gem. I adore him. Ruby is my Mini Double and although she waves the flag for ‘Diva Independence,’ she’s still my bambino and i couldn’t love her any more than I do.

Whatever happened on Celebrity Big Brother last night, must have been a hoot, as everyone was talking about it, but i missed it as Junior was watching ‘Peppa Pig.’

All I know is that Tiffany and David Bowie’s Ex Wife, Angie..we’re Tv Gold. I need to *Plus one* it and see it all over again. (Gay Adam sent me snippets of it, to my phone. Love Gay Adam.)

But yes, I actually did a interview with ‘The Sun (if you’re not British and you do not know,w hat that is…it’s a Popular, UK newspaper.) They text me, whilst I was at work yesterday and asked if I’d do one of their features. I agreed. It’s only tiny…but i’m happy.

When I got home, I was stood in the kitchen, doing my ‘Sun Newspaper,’ interview, as Ben watched ‘Peppa Pig’ with Junior upstairs.. Then once I was done…and it only took half an hour in my kitchen, I rushed upstairs to watch ‘Peppa Pig’ with Junior, whilst Ben thundered downstairs, to quickly film the rest of his Vlog, so he could upload it that evening.

Madness! But we did it.

See, how productive, we’re being this year!

Anyway, have a great Wednesday! You’re all pretty sexy! x