What Chu Know ‘Bout Me? Part Uno!

As I cocktail, lunch and spend time with my little ones, dipped in a diamantee haze and shimmied over in a festival of winks, here…my sassy little heros is a ‘What chu know ‘bout me’ blog…I asked for your questions…you gave me them…I’ve answered them…

Cue music… (Before I start, do know that a bundle of gentleman did try to use this opportunity to get to ‘inappropriately’ chatter with me. I didn’t reply, because I only asked for your questions. I don’t need to get ‘hit on’ right now, just so you could enjoy a bit of a boner. Then there were other guys who were strange and sent me messages simply reading…‘ANYTHING?’ Again, I didn’t reply……because obviously I DID SAY ‘ASK ME ANYTHING.’ Read it, ask a question…get an answer, Simple process. 😉 Glad we got that cleared up….

Cue tune…

Q: Do you date Larger men?

A: Large where? 😉

Q: You’re a blogging hero…How did you turn your everyday life into a business…?

A: I think the blog ended up doing well because I stuck at it. It’s the only thing that I’ve ever been disciplined enough to do throughout 10 years…almost every day. It happened by itself & is a success because I love it so much. I’ve worked really hard.

Q: Will you get married again?

A: Yes. I’ll get it right this time.

Q: Favourite Book?

A: ‘My Booky Wook’ by Russell Brand

Q: Favourite thing to eat?

A: Sashimi

Q: Is being a glamour model as great at is seems?

A: It depends on what YOU love to do. To me…yeah. It’s been the best job in the world. You kinda have to be savvy, stay safe, be emotionally tough and not get lost in the bullshit that comes with it. Just focus on it being work…and nothing more.

Q: Does the ‘Casting Couch’ still happen?

A: In LA…yes massively. In England…well…not as much, but YES…definitely.

Q: How was Paris Hilton in real life?

A: She was great and a smart girl. That show served me so well…I learnt so much at the same time as entertaining. I love reality tv. I love being on it….It’s such a buzz.

Q: Chocolate bar or bag of crisps?

A: Bag of crisps every time!!

Q: Favourite cocktail?

A: I love all cocktails. I can drink anything. Literally. I can drink most humans under the table…but only when it comes to cocktail drinking. I love a Bloody Mary when i’m hung over. I love a salted rimmed margarita at Ego. I adore a good mai tai. I’m a creature of habit…I will always get the same drink/food in a particular bar or restuarant EVERY time.

Q: What don’t we know about you?

A: I’m soft when it comes to love and matters of the heart. I also built a brand on being glamourous and wild…when I’m really quite together and sensible. Still fun though…Still glamourous…just chilled and not lost. Lol. I’m funny. I have an ace sense of humour and i’m way more down to earth that people imagine. I’m allergic to nuts. I’m great at keeping secrets.

Q: What do you find unattractive in men?

A: Bad manners. Lost boys. Bad sex. Men who don’t know how to love, protect or look after a woman. I’m traditional in the most unconventional way.

Q: Can I take you out?

A: Everyone asks me that. I’m a rubbish date. 🙂

Q: What sex toy did you create for Ann Summers?

A: Lol…an anal vibrator or beginners called ‘The Learning Curve‘ 🙂 There was actually a whole range.

Q: What’s your favourite sex position?

A: I love all sex ….I’m playful in the bedroom. Yet not promiscuous. Meaning, if I’m WITH a long term partner…we will be having the best sex ever. Lol

Q: How do I become a blogger?

A: Start one. Mine started in LA via a barista in a coffee shop, who thought it would be an online hit one day….;) Being a blogger is the best job i have ever had and personal lifestyle blogging is hard, as the only thing you’re blogging about is yourself…so you have to hope it catches on..it’s not like writing a parenting blog, or a beauty blog, or a restuarant review. Yet if it does catch on, you’re onto a winner, as no one can write about YOUR LIFE better than you.

Q: Key to writing a great blog?

A: Be honest. Nothing in my blog is fabricated. It all happens. Everyone is a real person…if anything i leave things out…I could do with being MORE honest. Yet since it’s got bigger, i’ve weirdly become more careful…which i don’t like.

Q: Worst thing that has ever happened to you?

A: So much has happened. Homeless in New York was pretty bad. Yet i aced it. I felt cheery through the whole thing and survived it. Anytime i have my heart broken is always the worst. I hate that feeling…..I hate it….and i always try and brave face it, which sucks.

Q: Northern or Southern?

A: Northern.

Q: Best time of your life?

A: I am so lucky to have had SO MANY ‘BEST TIMES IN MY LIFE’ to the point where I can’t even believe all i’ve achieved. Kinda everything i’ve wanted to do, i’ve managed to do somehow? I don’t know how? It’s been utterly surreal. I guess, you get what you’re mean to get? Sometimes you can work really hard for something and it doesn’t materialize and other times you don’t and it’s delivered to you with bells on? I cannot believe some of the things that have happened to me!

Q: Finer things in life or to slum it?

A: Right, I always say i’m chilled and I am…yet I am bouji by nature, so I enjoy the finer things in life. I’m well balanced. So I can sit in your comfies and smash a nandos on your sofa, or dine in the finest places in all the land. I’m happy either way. Weird innit?

Q: Do you think you’ll win the Diversity in Media Awards?

A: No. I want to though.

Q: Where do you hope your blog end up?

A: Where? I hope it takes over the entire world, but MADLY. I’m half way there. 😉

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Boys, Emojis & Fire Talk

Y’know when you just can’t find your way out of a fricking carpark!! No? Just me then. 😉 FFS.

Lord knows what happened, but I got into the carpark with a shimmie, hair toss and maybe even a wink….yet getting out the fucker was like some kind of comedically trippy maze. I drove round and round, up and down, parked up, waved at concerned people, like I totally knew what I was doing, pondered, adjusted my bra, glossed my lips and finally after about 17 minutes, I found my way out. 🙂 Welcome to my world. I’ll definitely make someone a good wife one day. I CAN’T EVEN GET OUT OF CARPARKS. (However, do note, there are other things i CAN DO and well…so bare with me.)

Life is great otherwise. Ruby, Junior and I have a new kitten, after many name changes (Sammi/Beckham/Harry/Sprint…) and after I felt bad from taking it from a weeping child,

Mel: ‘Chrissie…just leave with the kitten. Take it…NOW.’

… we finally all agreed on ROCCO. So Baby Rocco, full name ‘Rocco RoMEo’ is our new kitty addition. Hurrah! He’s amazing. We love him. (We don’t know how to look after pets, so it will be a challenge. I mean how hard can it be? I raised two humans on my own.)

But yes, I’ve been a busy glamour puss, but a chilled one all at the same time. I’ve nothing too hardcore other than posing and pouting for a camera to endure, after a stint of secret filming…until the 21st…so i’m just enjoying the downtown…until i have to step it all up and write a book and tend to a lash line relaunch.. without wine.

I had a chat with my guy friend ‘Marbles’ the other day…and it’s weird how men think? We’re wired so differently….He adores this girl…that he kinda knows…and well this is how our convo went down..

Me: ‘So you fancy her, she’s single, but you’re not gonna tell her?’

Marbles: ‘Yes.’

Me: ‘Hmm…? I can see how that works? NOT! Lol. Girls hate that. We want you to be all masterful..well brave..It makes us feel femme…all of us want some hero, you know that. What was the last message you sent her?’

Marbles: ‘A thumbs up emoji. Lol. And Nah. She might turn me down…I’m flirty but she’s way out of my league…’

WHAT!!! WHAT IS GOING ON? WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MEN! We’ve terrified them. There isn’t leagues. (Well maybe there are leagues.) But there isn’t any leagues. Lol. Nothing is hotter than being brave and expressive regardless. A ‘thumbs up’ emoji is odd to a girl. To us, it means you either didn’t know what to say, didn’t have time to say or even worse couldn’t be bothered to say…

You have one life to live, one honey to woo, a wifey to maybe commit to in the end. And I do know that ‘steady treading’ is always very sensible, as I do believe that the guy or girl that stands the test of time, is one that is worth all your love, if you fancy them and they have a snuggled a cosy spot in your heart.

Yet love isn’t sensible, it’s an emotion, it’s not something that calculated logically. It’s something you feel and can’t help but feel, even if you’ve going through a bumpy run or an easy peasy ‘slip n slide.’ I’m always expressive, too expressive…so expressive, that I have zero qualms or fear when it comes to  delivering how I feel about anyone or anything…it’s how I’M wired. It makes me a good blogger and a decent telly personality. 😉 Yet, it’s just struck me that some people are quite willing to forget that they one shot to ‘go for it’ and instead will go for ‘nah, she’s out of my league.’ EH?

Then ‘Marbles’ (and i’m referring to him as that because he’s certainly lost his) went on to say…

‘Like you. Wunna land is a pretty daunting place to approach..’

Me: ‘No, it’s not, not if you have your OWN LAND going on. Then you’re comfy, you feel all confident. It’s normal. I hate it when people are daunted by Wunna land because it makes me feel like they’ve judged me. Aww no. It’s not me is it? HAHAHA… I’m not your Woo Woo am I…cos I don’t..’

Marbles: ‘Hahah…Nope you big headed bitch. Lol. Men aren’t like that. We’re always a bit sketchy, until we fall head over heels and that happens when we know we can trust the girl. When we feel safe.’

Me: ‘That sounds very girly to me. It’s like a Backstreet boys track. Yeah she might not fancy you, but you’ll know if she does….she’ll tell you, or even better show you… YEEeeeah!’

Marbles: ‘I hope you die an old lonely cat lady…’

Me: ‘Hahahaha. Not only did my friend Kate TELL ME that i now have a Cat Lady starter pack with Rocco, but fuck you because my love life isn’t even that shit right now. 😉 ‘

Marbles: ‘You’re in a swirl…’

Me: ‘It’s pretty good. Infact so good that I might need a wine to celebrate…’

At the end of the day, you work hard, you play hard and well you’ve kinda just godda have that good old faith in love. If someone adores you, no matter what, where or how, they will always still be stood there..even when the mist has risen. If not, you’re sat in your tight t shirt playing the ‘shoulda woulda coulda‘ game (which is shit) or crying into your Louboutin wearing fruity gin sessions. Faith in love (without you realizing) gets you through shit and I MEAN IT. I mean god my time in LA was so emotionally INSANE that it was almost a work of art. I was happy through it and I sailed it with flying colours unscathed. It was only when I got back home to Yorkshire, did a tv show with Hilton, looked back and reflected on LA and thought shit, how the absolute hell did I get through all that smiling. But I did. And yeah I might be thirty six now…and yeah i’ve shimmied with the best…but let me tell you i have NEVER in my entire life felt as empowered and I do now.

The time i’m going through right now is probably the best time of my entire life…and that’s saying something. Like I don’t have to look back and hold onto my ‘misty watercolours’ wistfully as i’m currently SMASHING IT. Someone close to me always whatsapps me and says, ‘You’re on fire, babe’ and makes me feel good because I never would have imagined it.  Y’know, a lot of hard work, glitter and ‘fingers crossed’ has gone into this year and it will continue until the end of the year. I’ve kinda winged it. But i’ve done it. I’m doing it. You can do anything. Remember that! Just go for it. If people don’t like it, fuck’em.

On the whole…I’m buzzing…and not even needing to do it in a Wonderbra and anytime that happens you know you’re winning at life.

Ps/ I’m up for Blogger/Podcaster of the year for the Diversity in Media awards…I kinda wished i tried harder to make everyone vote for me now. Voting has closed and I tinker to the event in September. There’s hit loads of people up for awards like Graham Norton, Rio Ferdinand…some other folk…I keep needing to blink and think and realize that life is all ace!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Time, Family & A bit of Shania in Weaves

Yesterday ‘jazzed’ up a bit. I mean fair enough it wasn’t the height of utter excitement. (I’m beginning to think, you have to create your own. Lol) However, it was mildy more ‘buzz’ like.

There was definitely a moment where in which ‘Double B’ and I glamourised an outside corner by some church steps. Is it a church or a castle? Who knows? Nice steps though. Far too nice to do your prayers on. Anyway, she’s sat there with her bootilicious derriere, newly plumped lips, big eyelashes and fresh blond extensions and I’m stood by her, (i like to stand, it makes me feel dominant…lol) with my boobies, dark black weave, cougar lips and exotic tan. How we didn’t burst into flames, I don’t even know? 😉

Anyway, most people on steps by churches, would probably ponder life in a normal, more educated fashion…we decided to get ourselves confused over a girls ‘This is how I woke up top,’

Double B: ‘I thought the whole point to wearing that top was the fact that you’re meant to look glam in it, not like a scruff. Not like you really have actually JUST WOKEN UP’ like that.

Then we chatted more shit, ridiculed our good friends and sang Shania Twain tracks that we forgot even existed. We went with ‘That don’t impress me much! 

Double B: ‘What are you even singing? WHAT A BANGER THAT SONG WAS.’

Me: I’ve kinda jumbled all her songs into one and they’re all coming out my mouth at the same time???

Then with a hair toss, a pout, an adjustment of the old bra….we strutted away and back to business.

Not much else happened, apart from making fun of my friend David, who needs to man up and learn the art of ‘the chase.’ He’s about to go on a date with a girl we both know, who’s a great sassy fit for him…and he’s heel clicking to love songs and everything ALREADY. Lol. The sweet thing about it, is that he’s happy. I love happy people. The other sweet thing about it all is that it’s lovely to see a GUY so excited about a girl.

David: ‘I just haven’t been this excited about a date in a long time. ‘

I think it’s lovely, but even ‘Fairytale Blond’ had to tell him to calm down a bit.

Hustle Barbie: ‘David! You need to keep her on her toes. Girls don’t like that full on stuff….’

I’m ALL for a bit of full on. Lol. So i’m with him on that mark. I think he should move with his romantic foot forward! It shows BALLS.

But then talking about balls, we all got distracted, as Ms.White tinkers up to us all mid banter, whops out her phone and shows us a video o a naked dancing man, with a semi on, dancing….

Me: ‘WHo’s that!?!’

Ms.White: ‘My boyfriend, I took it of him last night. Not really…HAHAHAHAHA. IT’S ACE.’

Ms.White’s actually quite funny because she got so burnt sunbathing on holiday, but only ON ONE side, so she kinda looked like an Drumstick lollipop. She said, she had to run away from people all holiday because they kept trying to ‘lick her.’ Hahaha.

A fun day. Good times. I’m mentally chilling before I set off for exciting stuffs, that I can’t tell you about.

I’ve actually been having a few Mummy problems with Ruby and Junior, as they’ve been fighting a lot of recent and when you’re a single mummying it…things aren’t easy, because there’s just you. I have to work hard. I have to make a living. I have to balance it all with love and time. Two nights ago they FOUGHT like they hated each other. That’s never happened before. I never let that happen.

Last night, they couldn’t sleep and I could sense a fight coming. Even Ruby sat crying to me saying, ‘I don’t want anyone to love me ever, but you. Why are you even not married! Why don’t we have a normal life.’

So when all was heated and they were both in their own beds, glaring at ceilings and filled with frustration…ready to take it out on each other….I simply, got changed, put my coat on, walked into each of their rooms and said,

‘Put your coats and shoes on…’

‘What?’

‘Get up! Get coats and shoes on…we’re off out. We’re night owls. Let’s go have some fun, as a family, just us…together…right now.’

And you should have seen their faces. They beamed and dashed and scurried for shoes and giggled with madness.

Last night, when it felt (to them) like all the world was asleep, we enjoyed a late night park session. No one but us…love..and memories being made.

Last night, I had the HAPPIEST CHILDREN IN AL THE LAND. It meant so much to them. They felt loved. They felt excited. They showed loved. They showed excitement.

Under the night stars, as we slid down slides and raced around on merry go rounds….we felt free….

 

 

 

Love, Gin & Learning Things The Hard Way

I had gin last night, after watching the back of a bald man’s head for a while, during the afternoon, during a moment of ‘by myself’ chill. (I love a ‘by myself’ chill.) Not sure why I was so mesmerized by the back of his really bald head? I just like the way it folded and wiggled whenever I looked up, from Googling myself. 😉 Went well with a rhubarb gin and tonic…It sort of added humour and stability to a moderately emotional time. 🙂

Yesterday was both busy and chilled. I had an amazing time with Ruby & Junior, we played, we lunched, we loved. I knew that Junior had a great day, simply because whenever he does and I lay him to sleep at night, he always wraps himself around me, cuddles me in bed and whispers…

‘I love you mum. I love you so much.’

(I’ve trained him well. 😉  Hair toss, wink.)

Love matters to me. Love matters to me massively. It does to everyone, even when they don’t believe it does. It’s weird because i’m always confident when it comes to love and i’m really comfortable in my own glitzy skin….Yet, I crave love, but only the true kind, so when it comes along, I always want to treasure it and save it forever.

Some people see that as lame.  I see it as beautiful.

Gin was great last night. I managed to have chitters with my old school friend Kate who switched us to wine. Yet, the reason why it was all so great was because after such a great day, I really really thought about everything. I’m a passionate girl, but an expressive one and sometimes I don’t express as well I should. I get scared to, And no one should feel scared to express. It’s our life, we have one shot…and we’ve got to do it boldy.

So, I expressed yesterday evening, after a really great day, after a couple of good gin and tonics and really chilled times and the thing about my expression was that it was true, it was honest, it was loving, but most of all, it was Me. When it comes to ‘things’ or situations…and when something matters to you deeply, i always think that it’s really important that you’re able to just say how you feel and when you do, whether it’s been listened to or not (and usually if you’re honest, people DO listen) you feel liberated. I felt liberated and today as I woke up and look down at my phone everything felt like bliss. I felt like I had a best friend, who just gets it.

It made me really productive actually. I’m powered my humour, good times and true love. That’s where i get my energy from..and tequila. (Loved the West Hollywood Tequila dance that I used to do probably about 10 years ago now. Hate that I cried afterward because this dude named Ryan didn’t care about me. But loved that drag queen carried me home, like i was a Queen. Lol)

But yes, i’ve got a lot of things going on in work and it’s making me pretend that the little niggly things don’t matter. I don’t like the little niggly things. I leave them and they accumulate and then they terrify me because i’ve left myself a mountain to sort through. Like voicemails. I HATE going through my voicemails, unless they’re all ‘good news’ calls. My emails…this morning I had 79,329 to go through, that I had let accumulate. By noon, I had gone through them all…and now my inbox is chilling at 0. YEAH BABY! (This is why I’ve always said that I need to marry a really organised male, one that’s good at the niggly things. The things that demand organisation. Lol. The big things i can conquer with panache and glamourousity. I’m ace at the big things. I’ve been married three time and people always always message me asking me about my love life. The most common question from women, that I receive weekly is one that asks me if i would ever marry again. And GOD, ABSOLUTELY. But only if the guy was RIGHT! I’m not just gonna high kick gleefully down the isle to anyone. Lol. (I’ve done that before. 😉 )

I believe in love (i’m a sucker for it) and yeah, I’ve shared some interesting chapters, that didn’t quite fit. Yet it doesn’t EVER make me feel as though I couldn’t do it again. The great thing is, this time, i’ll get it right. I’m not someone who doesn’t KNOW what I want or what i’m looking or. That’s sexy in itself. I tend to learn the hard way, which to me, is always the BEST way. Nothing like a bit of good old raw experience. Beats the ‘Once Upon Time’ books.

(My good friend Inadequate Chris is just messaging. Remember weeks ago, before I did Ginos, i wrote a blog about his love life…well I was right. He has just waved ‘good bye’ to a 9 year relationship, that maybe wasn’t right anymore for both parties and well, it’s been tough, but he is happily moving forward. Y’see, to me, that 9 years was simply a young chapter and it’s what you do when you’re a grown up that makes impact, because as grown ups, we think wisely and know how to love properly. There’s a stability to us oldies. It great. It’s sexy. Nine years isn’t that long when you have a hopeful 100 years to do love in. Yes, we all hope to get it right the first time, but if you haven’t and in the past I haven’t….obviously….I’ve been hilarious and half of you have followed it through the decades. Do know that it’s right around the corner and that guy or that girl who makes you feel utterly COMPLETE…will find you and adore you…forever. )

But away from my preachy keeness, WUNNA LAND is WONDERFUL right now. I’m working hard, i’m making things happen, i’m feeling really lucky and really positive. All areas are fantastic. I even have to pinch myself to believe it’s true. It’s almost like a dysfunctional Cinderella Story. There’s a lot going on and yes, as always with work, i’m unable to wink it out there, until it’s time. However, it kinda feels like i’m BACK. (Well en route anyway, my Uber must have been delayed. 🙂 )

In sat in the Mallard in Doncaster blogging this…and two lesbians are talking about dildos infront of their children. Lol. I’m also looking at a picture of Jeremy Clarkson, because they have framed photos of people who grew up in Doncaster, who became stars…On and cycling is on the telly.

I’m off now to do a prosecco and buy hair.

FILL UP ON GOOD TIMES….

Love you,

Chrissie x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I did Issho & East 59th Bar

Firmonnell: ‘ I wish you would stop spraying that fucking awful spray. It makes you smell like an old lady…a nan….I hate it. I hate it when you spray it. Fucking stop.’

Me: ‘Just because you’ve said that, i’m going to spray it continually to wind you up.’

Firmonnell: (Who remembered to change her knickers this time) ‘Well I hope it RUNS THE FUCK OUT.’

That was yesterday! Well aside from the inbetween bits where ‘Double B’ did nothing but swear repeatedly due to stress. She did it in a Vogue ‘top knot.’ The ‘top knot’ always makes her feel angst. I wore flats….my wonky feet felt like bliss after a Sunday of utter enjoyment in the sun on every roof top terrace bar, in Leeds that would have me.

Leeds is CRAZY right now for new great spots. It’s flourishing with class, style, life and business….and as a blogger….it smells like fun, it’s smells like content and certainly smells like money.

Anyway, I’ve been dying to try out the new Issho restuarant in Leeds. I adore everything chilled, stylish, beautiful and Japanese, so to this me sounded like bliss. I never had time because time kept being scheduled up! But I have time now! So why not right?

Inadequate Chris (who won the ‘Best Newcomer on Snapchat ‘award…remember that we have a video collabo shortly. Take yourself back to when we did coffee at La Bottega Milanese..) well he surrendered to a bottomless brunch at Issho…and as we discussed work, life and lessons…we were greeted by gentle kind smiles, the most impeccable service and the most beautifully creative food and drinks…in the sun.

Even the walk through Victoria Gate to the restuarant was delightful. I had to sit outside some bakery and change my flats to heels, as they rubbed. I also smelt a bit like German sausage, as they had some steamy market on outside Harvey Nics…where German sausages where being cooked on the street, next to a woman begging me to promote her new Opticians outside Michael Kors. ( I didn’t. I’m a Specsavers Girl. I also felt rough. AND, well…isn’t there a fee? *Wiggle..wink.* 

Anyway, like I said, the walk up to the restuarant was a calming joy, as I slowly tottered up the most architecturally grand and elegant stairway then took a lift to the kori bar on the 3rd floor.

The service in that place is untouchable. It’s great.

Me: ‘I’d like a cocktail that’s pretty please.’

Waitress: ‘I can absolutely recommend one for you…’

Me: ‘No, I want one with flowers in it…’

Chris: ‘We’ll just get the pretty Bellini and the other Japanese cocktail.’

Me: ‘I totally came across as high maintenance then, when i meant to come across as low maintenance. HAHAH. Just any pretty one is fine.’

Then we started chatting about his tragic love life, which he’s told me not to tell you about…so obviously i’m unable to spill the sake. UGH! And it’s so juicy tooo! (Boys. *Rolls Eyes.*) But yes, his love life is quite complex. However, I liked hearing the stories, as i got to sit back in my little red dress and gloat, whilst blurting out inappropriate blunt bits of HONESTY…

Me: ‘WHAT??? IT’S THE FUCKING TRUTH!’

Chris: ‘I like hanging out with you…you literally just tell it to me straight.’

Then we went bonkers and he ordered the bottomless brunch which was the most beautiful looking brunch I had ever seen. I actually didn’t order the brunch and instead ordered the ‘Prosecco Free Flow.’ (For two hours straight and for £15 you are poured unlimited prosecco until you cannot see. It’s a marvel and done with such panache. They don’t even wait until you’ve finished your glass, as soon as it looks like you need a top up, BOOM, there they are with your bubbles.)

I saw staff walk by with precious bowls of the most creative looking fresh Japanese delights ever. It was absolute bliss.

Me: ‘I want a Japanese house and a Japanese Zen Garden and a Japanese Roof Terrace and a Japanese Chef. NOW!’

Chris: ‘I don’t know what’s happened, but i feel really really pissed now. ‘

More talk of work, collaborations and his tragic love life (that i’m not allowed to tell you about) were discussed. It’s hard isn’t it, as over the past few months, he hasn’t really dedicated himself to being some kind of future ‘Social Star’ due to his rocky love tale. I guess this is why picking a great partner for you matters. Everyone’s version of perfect is different. So as long as you pick a girl or guy, who is on the same wave length, when it comes to love, life, friendship, beauty, sex, work and commitment…then you’re dandy. The best partners will bring out the best in you. They’ll love and support you madly and you’ll never have to prompt them to love you the exact way you always wished for. They just know how. (It’s all that wedding talk at Piccolino that must have got to me. Lol. But yes, i’d be quite happy to be settling down now…To me togetherness is bliss. People often never think that of me…but i’m a love bunny. I’m quite traditional when it comes to true love. I just play it sassy. 😉 )

But anyway, I’m not really going to go on about my love life….yet.

*She changes the subject*

On the whole, in all areas right now, I feel quite lucky right now. Infact, right now I AM the luckiest girl in the entire world. I don’t even know what’s happened to me over the last few weeks, (probably My Mother Feng Shui’s my house,) but all this lucky shit keeps flowing into Wunna Land like the Issho Prosecco free pours???? I can’t even believe it? I definitely deserve it. 🙂 Good things happen to good people. I live by that! IT’s TRUE!

Anyway after the most magical time at Issho, I decided that we tinker next door to the brand new East 59th bar next door. It’s the new trendy New York style restaurant and roof terrace bar in Leeds and in the sunshine, it was GREAT! The DJ was playing, the cocktails where are delight and as I sat down in the sun with my raspberry infused drinky poos, I looked around me and the ‘Bustle’ in the place was divine. It almost made you feel as though you were on holiday. There’s even an open air bar, surrounded by stylish humans. The atmosphere was great for a stop off, but I need to go again, as we did only tinker in for a chilled drink.

I’m actually going to do both places again at some point….I want lunch at Issho and the bottomless Bloody Mary’s and food at  East 59th bar. I couldn’t of had a more chilled Sunday. It was wonderful.

Right, i’ve got to go. I’ve got a lot on today. I have some exciting things happen in work and again it’s not for ears to hear yet. But it’s exciting! I’m in Yorkshire all week, aside from Thursday when I have to head to London for a day of filming, but that will bring me straight back to Doncaster by 9pm…so it’ll all be in a days work.

YET, last night, I sent someone love via Whatsapp and I found out some news, only little news that would mean so much tome and maybe not so much to you, but it made me beam with excitement. I was literally jumping around my room. I couldn’t even believe it. But it’s made me believe in fate and also made me appreciate the Speedo Spoof Video that he sent me to the Despacito song.

 

That Good News Phone Call

I got a ‘GOOD NEWS’ phone call today. I looked down at my phone twice as it simply rang ‘Unknown’ ( I never answer an *unknown* call as the last time I did was weirdo who wanted  to tell me about his penis demanded my attention) and then like a *whoosh* and a *wonder,* I checked my email, as my voicemail currently doesn’t seem to be working and with an *OH* they quickly gave me a call back.

Just like that, as I stood quietly in an office, after looking left at Firmonnell and saying ‘I really need to take this…’ in a yellow turtle neck jumper, as I rushed up a flight of stairs, I JUMPED UP AND DOWN with excitement. I love excitement and I love it when dreams magically tinker into reality.

‘Chrissie, I have good news…’

Life became bubbled over with a glistening ‘joie de vivre’ and from that point on….and probably because my life energy was bursting at the seams….GREAT THINGS began to consecutively happen to me…almost like some glitzy domino effect. I don’t even get it? But I’m so happy! Everything’s changing and I feel like the luckiest girl alive. I’m an excitable girl. I love good news and good times that peak a shimmie and infact it’s a great way to get me to listen or pull me, if you fancy a try! Lol. I love adventure and my good news call offered me that. From that point on Wunna land was tinseled up with VA VOOM.

(I mean even at the start of the day before the phone call, I won a decent Malbec and a certificate for being ACE, all before 9am…so life wasn’t so bad. But yesterday….on the whole was a great day!)

The evening ended delightfully as I messaged someone via the fine art of picture taking 🙂 who I can’t help but adore, (what a great human) and whilst sipping the wine that I won…out of the bottle in a fuchsia bra, because I couldn’t be bothered to get a glass. Hahaha!

Everything just worked out merrily yesterday and it made my little Oriental heart beam. This is a really good time for me. I swear it’s because I have a decent tan, yet my Mother assures me it’s because yesterday, as I tangoed through my work day she Feng Shui’s my entire home, so bring me luck. Maybe it did work? I’m quite spiritual by nature…so I delight in the idea of a bit of Feng Shui.

What i’m going to go with is the simple old ‘I worked really hard, went for it and seized all opportunities’ excuse….Seems to work for me.

Other than that, Firmonnell is now being glam even with a ‘dragon rash.’ Mel is off to Disney Land Paris and adoring every inch of being a Mother to kittens. Fairytale seems chilled, like her life is plodding along exactly how her text book read wants it too and Hustle Barbie is demanding that we pay her attention and adore her Baby pictures. (Her day ended with a stranger buying her a really expensive bottle of gin and a gorgeous bouquet of lillies. I love it when gents are just lovely for no reason other than being a ‘darling.’ The funny thing is…before she went she was sure he was a ‘stalker.’ But hey, you can be stalkery and whop out the flowers and we’ll all love you anyway for being so cute.)

Anyway. i have to set off for my work day now. I’ve double booked my tomorrow, so I’m gonna have to work all that out….

Things are just wonderful and even though i’m only on what feels like the first step to many, I’ve come a long way…and more importantly…i’m done it all by myself. 🙂

Remember that dreams come true…but only when you have a good tan. 😉

 

 

 

I Smashed A Bit of London Pride.

I had so much fun in London! I smashed Pride. I only did one night, due to Mummy duties and Jenna’s ‘come around to mine for drinks’ night.

But Lord, nothing is better than meeting Theo,  your LA best friend, who you haven’t seen in 11 years and then accidentally realizing that it’s Gay Pride in London (He’s gay. Not straight. And so much fun. We’re really similar.) Anyway weirdly, as soon as I tottered through the ‘Double Tree’ hotel doors in the West end and rushed up to his suite, on the warmest day that I have ever experienced in London, he swung open the door AS I KNOCKED, and it was really really emotional. I didn’t even know what to say!!! I was in shock.

A rush dashed through me and I had to blow out, like I was in labour. But then…within  minutes, everything just went back to how it was 11 years ago….which was GREAT! It was easy! We picked up exactly where we left off….and that’s how you know you have a true friend. He missed me. I could tell by the way his eyes smiled.

Theo:’ OH MY GOOOOOOOOD! YOU LOOK AMAZING!

Me: ‘Gosh! I don’t even know what to say. I can’t believe it. I can’t believe you’re here!

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I’d accessorized with a golden clutch and a handbag that had ‘overnight stuff’ shoved in it. (I always pack light, because I hate carrying shit.) Theo out accessorized me, as he had no golden clutch, yet instead brought ‘Jenny from Paris.‘ Yes, an entire American human from Paris. We chatted, we laughed and she napped as Theo and I tinkered to ‘Hercules Pillars‘ for pints and snacks in the sun…and then with a wink we were met by hot gay Daniel from Wimbledon’ in tight white shorts and from the point on, where in which life made us revolve out of those ‘Double Tree’ glass doors….the city was our oyster. AND WE LIVED IT!

It was a heated swirl of London party magic. It was Pride. It was Soho. It was alive. It was a glamourous blow out of testosterone, laughter, new fun with old friends and warm air in a new city. We stopped at ‘Balls & Company’ a cute little date spot where you can grab tapas like balls (all the food is ‘ball’ shaped’) and alfresco dine, in the middle of London as the busy streets and people bustle by you. We ordered every ball on the menu and enjoyed wine, banter and cocktails, as we told stories of our present, relived stories from our past and style watched as we shared our balls. Lol. (I actually just drank the whole way through.) The food was OKAY. It wasn’t superb. But it was a great bouji spot of ‘coolness.’ I mean God, even a homeless guy tottered up and asked to try a ‘ball.’ This was after we offered him a tasty gourmet potato wedge. He shunned it and said, ‘No, i just want that ball.’ I loved it! He then went to try to empty find prosecco bottles for dregs. If I was homeless…I’d be him…but with better hair. Then I forgot about it all and just had more wine whilst refusing to eat. (I don’t like eating when i’m on a drinking mission.)

Dan: ‘I love how well Chrissie just KNOWS her party process.’

Me: ‘Dan! I even know how your night ends. You’re going to stop drinking water, have a few wines and get super sassy…’

Dan: ‘I’m giving my body a break….’

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He ended up giving in and getting really drunk on gin and then letting hot men grind on him to hip hop tracks in Freedom bar, before ‘leaving early‘ for sex. Lol.

It was such a fun night and glamour and warm shimmies, in the evening air, under the stars, as the streets just filled itself up with ‘good time’ folk and characters.

It was great for us because we were such a good click. A great team of ‘night out.’ We’re all the least judgmental humans on the planet…all a bit hot…:) ….and all know how to just have a good time without being high maintenance. I honestly felt like I was on holiday. It was that great! It was magical…. Even though my feet killed on the fucking cobbles. They fucking killed. I couldn’t even walk and they ruined my world.

‘Paris Hilton gave me these shoes for getting naked on the telly….they KILL!

We went from bar to bar and drank ourselves silly with love. We danced, we chatted to strangers….we lived. One gay even did my hair outside Circa. My favourite thing is someone playing with my hair, so secretly it was BLISS. Touch my hair always. I love it. Especially when it comes with grooming advice.

Once we got to Freedom bar, I did notice that everything turned testosteroney. Gay dating is REALLY different to straight dating. It is men and heated hormones….It is CRAZY. At this point, all the gay men in London had ‘gone for it‘ and this was their hour to pull!

‘Jenny from Paris’ and I just danced and let them do their do. The odd straight boy would find us and come gyrate around us or try to hip hop tracks, whilst trying to feel our bums…but I couldn’t be arsed with it really. I just wanted enjoy my time with Theo and friends and this was the latest I had stayed out in AGES!

I am a cocktail bar and ‘chill it’ kinda girl. A good balance of both. I love fun. I love that flirty wild energy. I’m a lot of fun. But i’m a glamourous soul, aren’t I! After a certain hour, nothing is glamourous anymore…that’s when the real pissheads are out. And yes, that night…I was out. 🙂 We all got so drunk. And for the first time ever…I ordered water at a bar to sober up. Lol.

Early hours, we jump in an Uber. Everyone around us in London now seems to be wasted, hooking up or falling out with each other, around us at this point. I’m shattered by this point. I had an early start to my day with Mummy duties etc, so I fall asleep in the cab and shock myself up when we get to the hotel…and just like that, whilst Theo and Jen tried to banter free cookies out of concierges…I passed out in tiredness in a giant hotel bed. I’m too old for late nights. Lol. I need and LOVE my sleep. But I had so much fun!

AND WEIRDLY I HAD THE BEST NIGHT’S SLEEP EVER.

I slept like I had never slept before, so deeply and for hours straight without a wink or wiggle, for a whole EIGHT HOURS.

We all did.

The next morning Jenny from Paris woke up hungover, to the point where she was unsure as to whether she could participate with the rest of the day. I felt fine, but wished i had brought flat shoes. Theo was fine. We went to brunch and had wine for breakfast. He smashed a whole PIZZA in a cafe for BRUNCH Lol, i had humus and Jenny looked at her soup….then looked at it again before feeling sick because we had ordered wine.

Me: ‘You really should eat that. You will feel so much better in an hours time for doing so. I used to do it all the time in LA before work after nights out.’

Jenny: ‘I love how you just KNOW the party process…’

AGAIN! Another human who said the exact same thing. I should write books on it.

The sun was out. The sunglasses where on. Then due to Mummy duties and because Junior was distraught because his new pet caterpillars hadn’t arrived I had to sweep up my handbag and jump into an Uber to the Kings Cross station. I messaged my mum all the way, after saying my ‘good byes’ and then jumped on the 14.08 train from Platform 0 to Doncaster.

Got home, felt shattered, played with the babies who i’d missed so madly and whilst telling my mum stories of my evening. I can tell my mum anything, she’s great like that. Then as Ruby and Junior settled  and laid to sleep for the evening, now utterly content that Mama was home, I then tinkered over to see Jenna, Danielle and my old work friends, for casual night time drinks on the terrace, with a whole bunch of close beings, who i’ve known for years, again under the evening stars but this time on chilled Yorkshire soil.

It was again the most brilliant time, filled with laughter and memories. We’re like one big happy family, who can just sit and take the piss out of each other over cocktails.

Jenna was kinda proud that I made it. I’m a good friend. I’ll fit an entire work week in, and bloggers schedule, mummyhood and travel, even party the night away in the capital with the gays and STILL make it to your chilled drinks on the terrace.

To be fair, it got a bit rowdy. Lord knows who her neighbours are, but they are ‘da bomb.’ I mean GOD, imagine listening to us lot singing really badly… to every old school 90’s pop song, by every boyband imaginable, at the top of our voices, after midnight, like we were auditioning for the Xfactor. We loved it. We lived it. We went for it. People were being sick, taking naps, crying and sliding down stairs on their bellies.

I simply sang and danced to Blue and Backstreet boys.

Then I took my pretty ass home.

Again! I slept better than I ever had and weirdly today, i felt great. I think it’s because i had championed a really busy time, a stressy time, where in which I just needed a blow out. We all did. Everyone working alongside me, needed a blow out. I got that and it made me feel free. It made my weekend feel like a holiday, I mean I did so much…and as a result…it sort of made me a better human because I felt like a refreshed happier human.

Today was great! Everything’s been great! I’ve chatted to the girls and loved it. ‘Double B is back, and everythings back to normal. They all seem chipper, but probably because we all just did our own thing at the weekend and went for it. We drank loads and blew out ALL our stress balls. I definitely came back to work feeling better. It proves that you need balance. You can never be a successful human without a little bit of everything in your life. Even if you think you are…you’re not. Constant work stress killed me….I just needed a break…and once I got it…I felt free again on my return.

I really wish I had a foot rubber.

Who wants to be in charge of Wunna Land foot rubbing?

Right, I’m shattered now. I’m going to bed.

Hope you’ve started your week well. If not, you’ve got plenty of

time left to fix it. 😉

Love you!

Chrissie x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That Crazy Little Thing Called Happiness

If I could teach anyone anything about life right now, as I wink in at the mild age of thirty six… it really would be, to just always remember to only do the things that you love. Life is so glitzy and so short. It runs out in a blink. There will be a moment where in with you have a minute left and in that minute you will be helpless. That’s why we have this whole juicy life right here for us now and it is SO important that you don’t take the things that don’t really matter seriously and that you prioritize correctly. Enjoy it! Pop open the bubbles to it!

I sat in a room yesterday, full of glamourous girls. I love these girls! But I looked around that room and every single human in there was miserable. Not one person in that room wanted to be there and every single person in that room hoped for better times or could think of something else or somewhere else they’d rather be. We all get days like that and days like that are fine. We all pull faces and delight in a moan. Yet do note that only ‘Days’ like that are fine and a lifetime of such is quite seemingly dodgy! 😉

It made me think.

I’ve done a lot in my life and i’ve achieved a lot. I feel good about that. I’ve had my dream job and worked all over the world. My love life has always been shit. Great times. But not necessary paper perfect.  Yet, I guess that came with whatever time my career threw at me and i must’ve have been more insecure than I thought when I was younger also. That’s always hilarious. Yet, i’m older now and wiser. I’m confident. I’m beaming. To me love is everything…and i’ll get it right in the end. (Can you applause when I do!) If I’m honest, I get everything that I care about right…in the end. Lol

But yes, I looked around the room and not one pretty face was smiling….that’s how I knew that no one in that room was doing anything that they loved. It wound me up, because i’m an advocate for life, loving everything until it bubbles and just enjoying people, positive energy and the world. I’m not sure if it’s important to be grateful for what we have or to really go for what you wish for?

So I’m gonna go with this….Remember to only do the things that you adore. The rest will work itself out. When you do the things that you love, magic happens because you’re at your most powerful…because you’re no longer living in fear or doubt. You’re happy. Go for it. Why not? I’ll pour you a rum!

Anyway, away from the preach festival. *Hair toss…Pout* . I have the busiest weekend ahead of me. I’ve had to reschedule a lot, mainly because I over booked and well being a single my of my two ‘adorables’ isn’t easy at times. I have a lot of help and i’m so grateful for it. But still, now that i’m older and even though i’ve had success…I look back and remember all the times I didn’t make a ‘Sports Day’ or I couldn’t get to that ‘school show’ for Ruby. But I didn’t have an option. That makes me feel shit. At the time i was running on determination to succeed….there was just me and I had the babies….now that i’m in a good place….I’m trying to make it all right again. Don’t get me wrong, the babies and I are really close….it’s my own head that tinkers and then retinkers.

But yes, this weekend, I have baby graduations, then I have to hop onto a train to London to go meet by LA bestie Theo for afternoon fun and an 8pm dinner at Cafe Monico on Shaftsbury Avenue. Drinks will occur and i will be blogging and snapchatting my whereabouts. Then i’ll be home….I have pet caterpillars arriving..and i think i have a Liverpool stint if i fancied it, but i’ll probably just end up in Leeds for lunch, as I need to stop off at the Mercedes dealership.

The following week I have Manchester, good times and cocktails. Followed by the VIP Piccolino party in Sheffield and then the divine new sushi bar Issho in Leeds, I guess for the weekend.

All of this whilst blogging, working and being mum.

The idea is that I don’t stress out and just take it in my glamourous stride. I haven’t done anything about not getting stressed. I need to book a massage but keep forgetting. Instead, I threw one of my legs up on my bedroom window sill and did these weird pilates stretches…TOPLESS. 😉 You can get away with that when you’re an oldie. I couldn’t be arsed finding a bra.

I’m not sure it relieved much stress. But I certainly had a blast. Well I think I did? No Infact I might have put my back out? I may have broken bones. I mean GOD, If i’m going to end up married to a Toy boy one day I better get in shape. 🙂 Topless Pilates is surely a great way to destress?

But whatever…my boobs look good today! Do yours?

Have a good…Wait? What day is it?

 

 

 

 

Business, Bloggers & Dual Action W******

I’ve ‘quadroupley’ booked myself out. No! That’s a lie. I’ve ‘booked’ myself out six times, in one go. No SEVEN! And yes, that sounds great because it means you’re all glamourous, you’re doing well and popularity is tickling at your tender kitten toes. HOWEVER, it’s a little more complex than that! I mean,  HOW the absolute jolly BALLS am I going to be in or at SEVEN DIFFERENT PLACES, all across the nation AT ONCE??? It’s humanly impossible and certainly my own daft fault. Ofcourse! Yet, I don’t think boobies, cocktails shakes or charm is going to get me out of my predicament and more than anything that curdles away at my glittery soul. My charm should ALWAYS WORK, even when i’m dead. (And no, I’m not going to have a glamourous death. I’m just going to be 100 years old exactly, take a kip and rest peacefully. Knowing my luck, I’ll be tootling along, in my leopard print faux fur, on my granny mobile, in sunglasses at 100 years old, with a rum in my hand and some Morris Minor will come and run me over, outside a newsagents or something? My LA guy friend Ryan once said that i’d die by being ‘Savaged by Thieves!’ Lord knows why it thought it would be that exciting? I can’t even ‘book’ myself out appropriately for a weekend, let alone let thieves savage me to my death.)

Why am I talking about death, before 7am?

ANYWAY! Let’s get cheery!

So, yes this weekend i’ve said YES to everything, managed to get all my dates a muddled and now SEVEN DIFFERENT PLACES are expecting me to show up, this weekend. IT IS THAT BUSY!

I’m doing really well and people are ‘signing me up’ left, right and centre, to sexily tinker down to their event, new bar, office or restaurant, literally EVERYWHERE, where one can ‘Socialite’ to deliver my dainty little view of life from their glitzy venue. (This is definitely because I went to Gino D’Acampo’s new joint and didn’t wear knickers on the glass floor. It’s pushed me up that lofty ladder of ‘popularity’ overnight. Lol Now everyone wants me on their glass floors in bars. 🙂 )

But from a real point of view. It’s a really exciting time for me, i’ve worked really hard for this, I’m going for it. I’m feeling SASSY, ON FIRE, UNSTOPPABLE and moderately invincible. I kinda feel like I am the Queen  of ALL KITTENS. Y’know, totally ‘sought after’ now. The word on the street, via other infamous and rather successful beings in the same field or media is that….

‘Chrissie’s smashed this personal brand/influencer thing down this year.. She picked up the ball and ran with it…’

So there you have it, it’s amazing what a little bit of glamourous street game, a blog, the ability to express via written word, a rummy soul, a case of candid banter, good humour, boobies and a lifestyle can do! I’m not scared of it anymore. More than anything, I’m feeling at my most powerful and it’s only just the beginning. I have lots planned and i’m GOING FOR IT. So strap in… (I love it when i feel like this, it makes me want to bathe in champagne like a ‘Girl Boss’ and shout at people for no reason.)

But… honestly I can’t organise myself for shit. Lol. How am I going to be in SEVEN places at once. This isn’t including my normal ‘non worky’ social commitments. Unfortunately, they get put on the back burner. Lol. Such a great friend. But at the end of the day, you have one shot to grab a bit of ‘opportunity’ and if you drop the ball…well….you lose. The people that care about you, love you, understand what you’re going through, I think you’ll find will always be there.You’ll be in a mad rush, or battling your career, but you’ll pause weeks later, look to your right and their still there, smiling, supporting you and letting you know that everything’s okay.

I’ll sort it all out. I just need to prioritize and get my ‘rejiggle’ on. My guy best friend Theo, who I grew up with in LA, (he’s an actor, model and has created his own TV show. I Know.) Well, he’s coming to London, all the way from LA to see me this weekend, whilst he’s en route to Madrid, so he get’s a priority ‘tick.’ PLUS, I’ve missed him being my bestie. I’ve missed all my LA besties. Yet Theo takes the biscuit! He’s the only male human (and yes he is gay, but buff as hell) to THROW ME OFF HIS ACTUAL ASS IN A GYM, so he could lean on a counter and other gents could ADMIRE HIS BOOTY. Not sure why I was sat on his ass now?

But Theo and I have been through a lot together. In LA it’s hard to ‘make it’ but we did, we’re doing it. And that’s something you kinda treasure in your careers. No one can take that away from you.

Theo: ‘Just ignore her….she’s crying over a penis.’

That was his quote the time we both ended up following boys to other States of America because we thought they loved us. I went from LA to New York, for some hideous boy named ‘Tommy’ and He went from LA to …where the fuck did he go? Florida?? I dunno? But yeah, for some other hideous boy…named ‘Eric.’

We both ended up homeless and had to get flights back to Los Angeles immediately. Hilarious. It was all in the name of love. 🙂 Theo is the most manly gay man you will ever meet. He’s a DIVA, but he knows how to take care of you. Lol.

Can’t wait to see him.

Other than that, I have the British Style Collective in Liverpool, three restaurants, Issho, Leeds, Manchester…..and London….fuck! Just lots.

It’s not the busy part that catches me out. I thrive on it all as it’s exciting and fun. I just hate organizing the busy part. I just like to show up and do my thang…and do it well.

As if I’m Social Media’s Favourite (Kitten Esque ) IT Girl!

I’m accidentally building an empire via just being ME and writing about it. I must have learnt more off ‘Hilton’ than I thought! 😉

Anyway, I’ve godda go. I’m sat in Flamingo Sheets writing this with no bra on.. before work starts. I have ‘droopy boob’ fear.

I forgot to tell you, but I was The Carleton the other evening and ran into my old school friend Kate. We went through our entire schooling lives together at the private school in Ackworth…and as we were sat around a table, was the stars shone down on us and ‘Harrys Mum’ was feeling down trodden because her husband had cheated on her, ran off with the other woman and left her holding the baby. She was quite upset about it emotionally, because obviously, it’s not an easy thing to go through and it’s fresh. Breakups are always hard on the heart, when they’re fresh….Yet you do always end up finding the girl or guy of your dreams in the end….

So in her moment of desperate need and support….Kate turns around, completely ignores what she’s saying, fights over who is drinking who’s wine and says…

‘Wouldn’t it be great if all guy’s penises, were like dual action cigarettes and you could just CLICK a button on the side and all of sudden their cum would just taste of mentol, or strawberries.’

HAHAHAHAHA! I love my friends!

I honestly know the best humans!

Ps/ Go check out  one of my close LA besties Theo Breaux!

 

 

 

 

When I Tinkered to Gino’s Harrogate….

Last night I did Gino’s in Harrogate.

I mean, everyone knows that I am a regular adorer of the Gino D’Acampo restuarants. The Leeds spot is one of my favourite haunts. You can always find me at the Prosecco bar, with a hair toss, a wink and that good old saucy banter.

Infact, I love everything that is going on in Leeds right now, as it seems the city is being sprinkled with new life. We are hosting some of the most stylish and creative bars in the North. And when you’re Blogger/Socialite nothing could be MORE DIVINE. My niche is ‘bouji’ and bouji is now right on my kitten door step.

But wait, yesterday I decided at the very last minute to tinker away from the darlings of Leeds, where life is laid back, yet wild and filled with what I call ‘Heels & Handsomes.‘ And instead, have a car drive me into Harrogate to celebrate the launch of the new D’Acampo restaurant, for their opening weekend. I like new. I like different towns and cities, fresh lifestyles, all social situations. (However not today because I feel rough. 🙂 ) Plus, I kinda wanted to just be somewhere different.

As soon I pulled, up, tottered in, adorning my little red dress and heels and as security pulled the door open for me….

WOW!

The atmosphere of that entire place was filled with live bustle and laughter and a stylish, yet devilishly delicious ambiance of ‘busy.’ It was glamorously packed and I was greeted with a smile, poured a Prosecco immediately and well like I said, I go to the Leeds Gino’s a lot, so I saw a lot of familiar faces who took a moment to show me around the new digs and introduce me to everyone and everything. I’d gone on my own. (I love going places on my own because it prevents you from being ‘cut away’ of everything and everyone and invites people to cross life paths with you. When you’re in a ‘click’ you stay within that ‘click’ and sometimes don’t see all that is going on around you.) It gave me the opportunity to mingle and chitter and really see, taste and hear all that was surrounding me.

To start with the place is huge, but filled with stylish excitement. From open kitchens to roof top terraces, where you can actually dine, look upward and have the sky blanketing over you. The DJ was playing. The upstairs prosecco bar was full of GQ looking Harrogate men and women who had either married well or made something of themselves. It was really bright on the roof terrace and I loved it. I felt free. Harrogate is a very different crowd to Leeds, everyone is distinctly more ‘showey’ and posher. Lol. They adore bouji but expect it. Things is not ‘laughed’ off in Harrogate….(I was stood next to a 20 something lady in the loos, who was moaning because she had to ‘wait for the loo’…There was literally no one infront of her…LOL..so she was kinda waiting for no reason at all, but forgot to check. Hahah! What an idiot! I simply smiled and opened up a door…She blushed and well I assume, went forth and wee’d. 🙂 )

Regardless, the staff at Gino’s that evening won everyone’s heart over with their impeccable service and Italian charm. Plus, they kept giving everyone prosecco. That helped. In fact that was HILARIOUS, because I was stood at the top of the stairs, in the bouji GAMES area, (yes it has one) which is right next to the glass windowed Private Dining room, which you can ‘curtain off‘ so the ‘riff raff’ can’t watch you ‘Lady & The Tramp‘ your pasta.

But OH MY GOD, I was chatting to people and watching Ladies and Gents play table football…well I watched an actual real life footballer  ‘Adam Clayton’ play table football against his ‘soon to be’ wifey and another guy, who was determined to win the game by impressive table football wrist action…

Sorry, i got distracted….

Anyway, whilst sitting at the top of the stairs… ALMOST FOUR TIMES IN A ROW, I watched a different glamourous human (HAHAHA, I’M DYING, IT’S HILARIOUS, YOU HAD TO BE THERE) walk up the first level of stairs towards me, SKID and SMASH INTO THE WALL (HAHAHAHA) because they had accidentally got SO DRUNK and the utter giddiness of all that was going on around them, had just got the better of them. Lol. It was so hilarious that it was almost like a PRANK STAIRWAY.

I started weeping with laughter…and funnily enough, when I did..they did to.

THEN OFCOURSE….The Gods got me…

When I tinkered up that glamourous baby blue lit stairway, I got onto the next level and realized the flooring was PURE GLASS. YES, a glass floor! YES. An absolutely delicious idea. Yes. You can watch all that is going on below you.

YES! I DIDN’T FUCKING HAVE ANY PANTS ON!

UGH! Lol.

I took them off because no one likes VPL line. Visible panty lines are weird and 90’s. So I had my little red dress on….heels…an espresso martini in my hand, a glass FLOOR and no knickers. Hahahah!

To be honest…I’m a confident girl. I’m not terrified of such a treat. I was almost delighted. It was a game in itself. Lol. I turned around and told every managerial looking body that I didn’t have any pants on….I told anyone who would listen and laugh, just for banter and then I committed to the cause and EMBRACED IT.

It is the funnest and most sauciest flooring I have ever seen. You should all go in short dresses and no pants and see if anyone catches you. 😉 After a few Prosecco’s, it’ll work wonders for any stale marriage. I was snapchatting and posting my entire time there and I got a HUGE Snapchatty/Twitter/Stagrammy repsonse to this picture…

Image may contain: one or more people

It got retweeted over five hundred times. Imagine if he looked up! Hahahaha! It’s a game you can all play. Don’t tell Gino I told you that. We’ll just keep it between us. 😉 Giuseppe won’t mind though. I’m sure he’d let me get away with a Wunna Land game.

Great night. Such wonderful staff. Strange Men kept coming up to me and asking for Selfies with me. But it was weird because they wouldn’t know much about anything ‘Chrissie Wunna,’ I wouldn’t think. Yet for some reason they kept wanting selfies? By this point I was sat at the downstairs bar, chatting to the the bartenders, who couldn’t of been more polite during what must have been such a stressful time.  The place was all ‘alive’ with ‘busy’ and to still be able to charmingly banter and whiz out every cocktail order under the sun with such panache…I mean LORD…How they coped I don’t even know. But they did and well! What a dynamic team!

Then…and now it’s almost 11pm, some guy struts up to me to try his luck with ‘The Glamour Puss.’ I wasn’t out looking for love. I was out to swirl madly in a glorious ‘D’Acampo bubble and just enjoy my night, in a new town before the clock struck midnight. (That’s when my car was picking me up.) I KNOW!! SO CINDERELLA OF ME.

He struts up all confident and like he thinks he’s got this in the bag…and simply starts telling me i’m beautiful and that he’s going to take me out and show me a good time in Manchester. (He said it like I has quite possibly never been out anywhere in my entire life before…) Infact, this was went down…(You’ve got the ‘beautiful’ blah, blah introduction lines…)

‘Where do you like to go. I’ll show to the best places in Manchester. I’ll take you out. Show you around. What places do you like? You’re beautiful.’ (Tries to hold my hand.)

‘I’ve done Manchester quite a lot. Yeah. I love it there. And well it’s less about where I go and more about who I go with…’

‘I LOVE THAT YOU’VE SAID THAT. You’re a DREAM. Give me your number.’

‘No. Nice try.’

‘I can give you the world.’

‘Why are you just pouring out line after line…’

‘Come to Manchester with me…’

‘Nah..’

By this point, he’s trying to ‘barmy smarmy‘ all the way around me, whilst trying to flirty touch me and impress me with ‘money talk.’ He does marketing and all sorts of things. Lol. Runs a company. Knows Steven Bartlett. Lol. He sort of resembled everything that I dislike about men when they try it on….and well…after drinks..I’m sassy one. I’ll let you know that i’m not interested.

AND let me tell you how good the bartenders where…I had been talking to them all night, so they knew I was there and why I was there…and as soon as they saw him ‘smarming’ about me personal space they clocked it to make sure the situation was okay. That’s sweet. Even the women next to me, where like..

‘Who is that dickhead.’

Anyway, he writes his number down and tells me to put it in my phone. I’m not even listening now and just flicking through various Snapchat stories. He’s so pissed he can’t even tell. Lol. But tells me that I can do whatever I want with his number. The ‘balls in my court.’

I just reeled off a mega bunch of extremely sassy ‘no thankyous.’ But he just found it more appealing. He must have, as most boys would then get it, right?

What he chose to do in that moment was

GO IN FOR A KISS!

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!

HAHAHAHA!

He tried to snog me and before he reached my face, I performed the most delightfully graceful version of the

DUCK AND WEAVE.

It was hilarious. He totally missed because I weaved around him..whilst still on a barstool and then his friends found him and took him home. Lol.

His friends: ‘I’m so sorry about that. We’re grabbing him now and getting him home.’

First of all, If I don’t like you, you probably shouldn’t try and smooch me in PUBLIC, without my consent. Lol. I will duck and weave and you will look silly. I mean, GOD I never kiss boys in bars. EVER! NEVER! Let alone strangers who I don’t fancy. LOL. At least he was confident. I’m always moaning that men hardly make the first move and chicken out. He certainly was no ‘chicken.’ He just chose the wrong ‘dream girl.’

Told ya, Gino’s got the better of everyone last night. It swirled into souls with magic and fun.

Then I got the..

‘Your car is outside ready’

text…and BANG ON MIDNIGHT!

And just like Cinders…after the best night ever….I thanked everyone for having me, cuddled staff ‘bye bye,’ left a gin and tonic on the bar, but ate the cucumber…(You know you’ve had enough to drink when that happens…) and with both ‘glass slippers’ in tact (Cinders leaving a shoe at the ball is beyond me, no one does that, she wasn’t in a rush, she was probably just really pissed and recovered from smashing into the upstairs wall ) and yeah…

…I left the ball.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

. I felt for them last night. It was a busy one! That operation was run like a dream. You saw headsets and power strutting, but not once did they ever refuse to *pause* and help someone who maybe looked lost. Lol.

All I remember seeing amongst the divine bustle was lots of gentlemen in tight white trousers and blue and white pin striped shirts, that was swirled amongst glamourousity and women who were waiting to see Gino. (He had been in Harrogate, went to Leeds and was due back in Harrogate that evening. He must’ve been SHATTERED. He’s currently at his Manchester restaurant. So shoot down if you want to catch him quickly. I left Harrogate at midnight last night and he was still going strong…and I feel as rough as a donkey. But saying that i did treat my delicate system to endless cocktail shaken espresso martinis and bubbly proseccos. I went for it. You only live once.