People called ‘Toby,’ Tamagochi’s & Life…

Today just feels wonderful. I’m  feeling really giddy, really girly and super alive. It’s swirling me about, in a tizzy. I’ve got nothing new to be excited about really. There’s lots going on, but nothing ‘brand spanking.’ I must’ve just got up on the right side of the glamour sheets. I’m clicking my heels in the air, I’m skipping to the sound of tweety birds. The suns in my eyes and it’s making me ‘beam.’ I’ve even fitted into my ‘too tight for me jeans,’ which means my ‘Dragon Fruit’ diet has accidentally gone to plan.

Chick Friend: ‘You can’t be on a Dragon Fruit diet, if you’re still having Sunday Dinners..Haha.’

Me: ‘Oh? I’ve MORE ADDED IT to my diet because it sounds so exotically bouji.’

Chick Friend: ‘I think the fact that your body only runs on coffee, wine and handfuls of olives, is why you’re jeans fit.’

Me: ‘OoooR because the Dragon Fruit FLEW IN and terrified my fat away?’

Dragon’s are ferocious! Why doesn’t’ she get it? Some people are so behind…? 😉

Ah! I’m glad to finally be back to normal. Everyone in Wunna Land has been ill. Yet, we’ve all still had to be ‘out and about’ due to work commitments. It doesn’t make anyone better. Running on empty gives you wrinkly bits. I’ve actually been the only one WELL. So i’ve unfortunately had to take on the duty of being nurturing. It’s not a forte of mine. (Ruby my daughter, has ‘MILKED’ this moment., with GLEE.)

I haven’t been able to smash or check my ‘socials’ properly, as i’ve been running about with cough syrup, parcels to influence, bags filled with Greggs, sick people, a cocktail in my hand and like a maniac in glitter heels. I’m meant to be ‘F’ jazziling my messenger bag and I haven’t even had time to do that! (‘F’ is for Fashion.)

Chick Friend: ‘You still had time to do that slutty silhouette dance, on your wall though…’

Me: ‘Haha. Well, yeah. Anything for a panicky Insta Like moment…’

Chick Friend: ‘I thought you only did marriages for Insta likes…?’

Me: ‘You do know, I could just swap you out for a different friend…’

All I learnt yesterday is that I enjoy ME time (lol,)  I love my work, I can laugh in the face of misery, I’m more selfish than I thought and that I should NEVER EVER buy my children Tamagochi again!!!. FFS. I must be sucker for punishment. Why would I do that to myself…???? Haha..

I bought them these little Digi Pets, that they now have to love, nurture, feed and take care of...ALL OF THE TIME. (Which they have.) YET, when they’re at school, they have DEMANDED that I watch both of their tamagochi’s  and look after them, so they don’t die. Meaning, MID ‘REALLY IMPORTANT’ showbizzy meetings, i’ve had to look down, *pause* and clean up a digital poo!!

Me: ‘Hi. Yeah, I’d really love to be part of the show because….Oh! Sorry….Junior’s bloody Digi Panda has POOED itself and it’s now hungry again.’

WHEN DO I GET MY BIG BREAK!!!!!

Whoever invented DIGITAL PETS is some kind of ‘ruin my life’ genius. Haha. You’re great! I need to shake your hand! I’m putting you in the same box at Cupid!

Like I haven’t been through enough already!?! Like I haven’t had life, chuck an obstacle in front of me, with every step i’ve taken through the years! Haha. I mean GOSH, if someone slid a banana peel my way, i’d slip on it!

But the JOY of it all is…THAT I LEARNT LESSONS. I learnt everything the hard way, yet FAST!

If you slid a banana peel at me now, it would look up, scream and roll itself away….

Don’t be a working single parent and buy two tamagochi’s for your kids, unless you are ready to drive yourself insane, for kicks. If you can handle it…Get to it!( If i’m being truly  honest, I’m TRYING to be sassy, BUT i’ve looked after  BOTH Digi Pets, ALL day so far, and i’ve actually loved it so much,that I might be addicted. It’s just not in my nature to ‘give in’ like that! That’s why Mr.Digi Pet inventor is a genius. My heart won’t let me stop! Lol. )

But back to ‘SASS…’

I stood in a puddle, in the terenchal rain yesterday afternoon, which filled the inside of my glitter, kitten heel , with puddle water. It nearly tipped me over the edge, however, I got on with life, with a smile. Lol. No wonder, i’m single!

Ruby: ‘Mum, you just need a wine…It’ll be fine. ‘

Hahah….I got over myself quickly and we as a lil’ family enjoyed MOVIE NIGHT, together. (It’s our Monday thing.)

Anyway….

Away from that…

I was chatting to Toby Olubi the other day. (Via DM, not in person.) You need to Google him, because I think he’s one of the most inspiring humans ever. He’s incredible and his story so far is movie worthy. I like people who tell their story freely. People who aren’t afraid to give life, a proper good go and create opportunities for THEMSELVES, even when they’re terrified.

Anyway, he’s on the Great Britain Bob sledding team for the upcoming 2019 Winter Olympics and his journey to that point, which is really only the beginning has been remarkable. He missed out on making the cut last time around. He never let that happen again.  He funded HIMSELF there by going on every tv gameshow that would have him. (Deal or No Deal, The Cube etc…All Sorts..)

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He even got shot out of a human canon ball, for crying out loud!!!

I watched him on ‘The Big Audition’ on ITV…Where he WON, the role as the new Fitness Presenter for ‘Ideal World,’ and it wasn’t the ‘WINNING’ OF THE MOMENT, that moved me. It was his face, his reaction…when they just looked at him and said, ‘Welcome to the team…’

It was really real…and when I read his story….I was in awe. That’s a great guy! He’s a POSITIVE BEING. There’s a likeability to him.

A phenomenal athlete.

‘1/4 of the fastest sled in history!!!’

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He used to be a teacher….

Toby: ‘ I like that you use correct grammar.’

Yet more importantly, he’s a go getter. A life trooper.He took HIS version of life, into HIS OWN hands, when it could’ve ALL  gone ‘doo lally.’ He never gave up….and HE SMASHED IT.  He’s a fun, determined soul.

I like people like him!

So, if you do anything today, please do take a moment  to Google him ( TOBY OLUBI) and read his story online. You’ll feel pretty inspired…and he’s only at the beginning of his life game…He’s done really well at bringing attention to the GB Bob Sledding team. I’m impressed.

Being me…I told him all this.

Chick friend: ‘Here we go…’

(I might have slipped a ‘handsome’ in also. Haha. I’m Northern. I’m human. What can I say! Let’s hope he doesn’t keep his shirt on for too long, in the Winter Olympic cold. I’ve never been more about Bob Sledding than I am now, in my entire life!! Before i’d be like, ‘Who’s Bob? 😉 )

The reason why I want you to remember him, is because you’re gonna hear a lot about him soon. I can feel it in my bones. Yet, the wonderful thing is that he deserves it and when people deserve a ‘pat on the back,’ it makes me smile.

(A friend of mine, who is doing well, and drilling his way into the limelight, recently decided to use his voice ‘for evil,’ as I call it. Y’know….when they start hating on everyone and everything for attention and making really drastic judgments upon people and groups, for a bit of ‘look at me.’I don’t like all that. I don’t think it deserves a ‘pat on the back,’ ever. It upsets me because the guy is actually pretty decent, in real life…However, when you are given a voice, surely you should try your best to inspire…not hate.)

I might be sassy, or sarcastic at times…Yet, I do it with a cheeky, cocktail dripped humour…a raw warmth. I’m not a harsh person. I’m candy coated..Yet my candy tastes like prosecco. Lol. All i want to do is inspire others, by telling my story. 10 years of CHRISSIEWUNNA.COM this year!

AS IF!!!!

Go check him out…

Toby Olubi….

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(Wait…my phones ringing… It’s an 020… number)

OH MY GOD!!! FINALLY!! I’VE JUST GOT THAT GOOD NEWS PHONE CALL!!!

EEEEeeeekkkkkk!!!!!

Dec 3rd…I’m back on the telly!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I Did Santa’s Grotto…

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Saturday was a magical. It was divine. I adore Christmas, it’s my favourite time of year. I want us all to pour a Bailey’s and get on with it now. Is it technically still Autumn, but I’m classing it as Winter now? It’s winter as soon as I put my Pretty Little Thing ‘Cheetah Bikini’ away in August. Either way, the earlier I can *whop* out a bit of merriment, a bit of tinsel and wrap it in a ‘warmth’ of happy beams,’ i’m happy.

I love it when things in life make people *beam.* It’s contagious, like the art of  the ‘we’ll just have ONE MORE drink,’ syndrome.

Beam’s make my entire world glow. I kinda need MORE of them. Lol.

(I hope The Gods are hearing me!!! I’ll even take ‘Two For One’ Bargain beams, please.)

Hang on one second. I just need to check someone’s Insta Story.  I heard a song on their story, early yesterday morning…Well…the lyrics to a song, which made me pause and ‘revisit.’ Y’know, it made me remember everything. I even Googled the words…just so I could get lost in the notion of romance for a second…

Yes, I’m that tragic. (Shush you, they’ll be writing memories on me when i’m frail, in an old people’s home with my 99 pet cat.)

Anyway…every Saturday is my big DAY with Ruby & Junior. I always give us something to look forward to. Excitement is important to me, so I plant it in their lives constantly. The excitement for Saturday, also makes Friday night’s magical. Plus, often on Sundays (or late Saturday night’s) for Junior, they  have to ‘tango’ off to their Fathers.

I felt bed for Junior, because had such a GREAT Saturday with me, that he begged me not to take him… (It’s always difficult. But for now, ‘until i’m big’ he says…It’s kinda how it is.)

I get along with Keiran, when it comes to the co parenting situation. We do it well. Yet, we just ‘parent’ so differently, because he’s hyper religious right now..I worry that it effects the babiest baby of Wunna Land. (But I would, wouldn’t I..)

Junior: ‘I’m going to nap…so when I get there i’m asleep.’

He tried. He couldn’t. He whispered…

‘I love you Mama. You’re the bestest Mama I ever had.’

It was 7pm, Saturday night. The streets were dark as I drove to do the ‘drop off.’ . My eyes filled up…but they were happy tears. It’s strange how when you care about a being so much, their gratification of your existence, simply means the world to you, doesn’t it? Lol.

He made me feel like the best Mother in the entire world. I’m certainly not. I’m doing it with ‘L’ Plates on. But if I was judged on unconditional love and fun, like most Mums….I’d pass with flying colours.

Ruby taught me strength, patience & purpose. Junior put the ‘cherry on top’ when it came to LOVING being a single mum.

I’m sure growing up in Wunna land is not that easy, but I KNOW it’s probably the most magical experience ever. Lol.

Anyway…

That’s not what I wanted to tell you about.

Saturday was a dream. The kids and I decided to ‘deck the halls’ and go see Santa’s to ignite our Christmas Spirit. He was arriving at Ackworth Garden Centre (which is known for having one of THE BEST Santa’s Grotto’s in all the land) and when you’re given free mulled wined and mince pies, on demand, upon launch day, it’s literally a parents dream! (We go to this Grotto every year…So it’s kind of a tradition.)

‘Tis the season, Baby!

I want elves with trays of free mulled wine to live in my HOUSE & roam freely ofcourse….until i’m parched.

We got there early for breakfast. We always do.  I mean that’s the great thing, because you can rock up to the Garden centre and have a coffee, speciality teas, breakfast, salad…You name it…They’ve got it. And the coffee shop is lovely! You’re surrounded by Christmas.

The kids were so excited they could’ve BURST. They were up at six o clock in the morning, harassing me and jumping on my bed, madly, because they couldn’t wait to see Santa.

Me: ‘It’s NOT YET! Lol. Santa’s not up yet!!! LEAVE ME ALONE. Haha.’

I laid there half naked, with no face on, rollers in my hair, trying to swallow swear words, in some kind of ‘what the *&*&*&$£”!!8* ‘ wake up, shock.

It was literally like an Asian Earthquake had erupted, in Boobie land. Lol.

Ruby had puked all night, yet seemed to make a recovery come ‘Santa’ time. 

(It’s the magic of Christmas.) 

I’m close to every one at the garden centre. I mean ‘Jenna’ one of my closest friends BUILT THE GROTTO! Can you even believe it! And she loved every single second of it! I certainly couldn’t build a Grotto, but I guess we all have our strengths! Lol. I once saw a pile of logs in my friend’s back garden at 11pm one night. I think we were in London? I tried to convince them to throw some fairy lights on the logs, get a Santa suit and start charging children to come visit.

Friend: ‘I’m sure we can get arrested for that, Chrissie.’

My children have literally grown up at the garden centre. They’ve watched Ruby & Junior tinker through the years and have gone out of their way to adore them always, even when they’re nuts. So, it couldn’t feel more wonderful to go celebrate Christmas and visit Harpin’s Grotto. J It’s my safe place. I have so memories great memories within those walls.

We’ve all shared secrets, had our hearts heal, our hearts break, laughed out loud, bitched, bickered, but most of all LOVED. I’ve made friends for life in that place, over the years.

Just before 2pm, Santa’s big arrival… Ruby, Junior and I went on a ‘Reindeer Hunt.’ I’m rubbish at games like this, because i don’t have the patience or the ability to look enthusiastic or to feel warm, during the outside bits. Haha. I hate the cold. Yet, weirdly, I went with it anyway…and yes, with a smile.

The Christmas Spirit is all around this year!

I hunted for reindeers around the store, inside and out. I loved it. (Even though the first reindeer I found was ‘Cupid’ and as you know, Cupid and I are not always mates. 😉 It’s a rough ‘reindeer hunt’ start!

‘Hey, just to remind you…no dude will ever truly love you…’

Yipppeeee!! Merry Christmas!

Anyway, out of nowhere, like some kind of whirl of a swizzle, I looked up for a second to screeches of joy, as giant Pikachu, Peppa Pig and Paw Patrol Chase appeared from nowhere, as gaggles of joyous kiddie winks, burst with joy…(I’d lost mine by this point, as Pikachu obviously trumps Mum.) And before you know it, Christmas had started…

Santa made a GRAND superstar horse and carriage entrance, outside the garden centre, to children, cameras, selfie mania, characters, mulled wined mums and mince pies.

At this point Ruby & Junior just froze.They froze when they see Santa, because they see him as a figure of authority (lol)…The guy who’s gonna decide what ‘list’ their on, and upon that list picking will hand out presents accordingly. Plus, even though they’re nuts, they’re the politest human beings when it comes to respecting their elders etc…(School taught them another level of class, as let’s face it Wunna Land certainly didn’t. Haha)

It was jolly! It was mesmerizing.

It was exactly, where I wanted to spend my afternoon. I wouldn’t have wanted to be any where else int he world, but there, at that precise moment. My world was complete.I loved watching their hearts flutter….

Then like lighting, they zoomed to the Grotto entrance, to try and shimmie in first…(They went in second lol) and forget the kids, OH MY GOSH, I WAS IN ABSOLUTE AWE, of how amazing the Grotto was!!

It’s always good at the Garden Centre..But this year IT IS UNREAL.

It wasn’t the usual, every Christmas day, shopping centre, give up the ‘be grudging’ pences, walk behind a curtain, get a gift and leave in 3 minutes, after a piccie, kind of thing.

It was…well IS… AND ADVENTURE.

If I could describe the moment as anything…I’d say it was discovering Narnia, at the back of your wardrobe…Yet, instead of lions and witches, you found workshops and happy penguins….I was lost in the magic of the North Pole. That’s where you get your ticket to…and the FIRST THING you can do, (if you wish) is sit and write Santa a letter, IN a mini elves workshop, that you POST.

ALL LETTERS POSTED, GET AN ACTUAL REPLY FROM SANTA!!!!

(That’s even BEFORE, you enter the red garden gates, which is guarded by an elf…as the beginning of the Grotto adventure, lies right before your very eyes.)

You follow a red painted trail, through the snowy North Pole, where you are surrounded by ice skating polar bears, snow balling penguins, the Polar Express train, fairy light cabins…It’s like an never ending adventure. Ruby and Junior discovered a magical moment, with every step they took. They couldn’t have been more stimulated. They couldn’t have been more excited to see Santa.

When we got to his cabin…an Elf stopped us…I didn’t realise, because I was still enthralled with my North Pole journey.

Me: ‘Oh! Sorry! Lol. Have they run in?’

Then as I entered the cabin, to my left was Santa, in a white glowing light…and to my right wasa workshop, sky HIGH with GIFTS!

(I left the kids to secret Christmas whispers with the most nurturing Santa, I had ever seen, as I selfied. 😉 )

He even remembered them from being tiny. My little heart melted. I remember just looking at them and thinking, ‘this is what life is about….’

(Then I thought, ‘shit, I better Insta Story it.’ 😉 )

Now, because it was the launch, both children received TWO GIANT GIFTS FROM SANTA EACH!

If you go to the Ackworth Garden Centre Grotto, you know that the gifts they give out are THE MOST SUPERIOR gifts, in all Grotto history. For the last 7 years, i’ve been to EVERY GROTTO, in all the land…and i’m kinda always disappointed with the gifts that the kids have received (lol) FROM other GROTTOS. (Mainly because you kinda pay a lot for your children to visit Santa, no matter what Grotto, you venture to. So you kinda want the experience and the gift, to be worth it!)

The wonderful thing about the Garden Centre, is that it is FAMILY RUN, business…Not a corporate ‘money hungry/get them in and out’ shindig. Simon and Fiona (who own the garden centre) have children who were once tiny…and did the whole Grotto thing…So THEY know, as parents…and by watching their own children grow….They know what everyone wants!)

For my children, I always lust after ‘the experience’ of it all. I’m a service girl, aren’t I! Nothing is classier, than this Grotto. I could LIVE IN IT! Haha.

Everything from beginning to end, was remarkable.

Junior’s TWO current favourite toys, are ‘Tractors’ and Dustbin Lorries.(He opened his huge boxes…Inside he found a ‘Tractor’ in one…and a ‘Dustbin Lorry’ in the other.

Ruby’s artsy….and she received a beautiful ‘string art’ maker and the cutest vanity treasure chest box, which came with various stationary.

The gifts were crazy. You’d pay so much for them in stores. I was shocked!

Our hearts were filled with joy. Our lives were filled with Christmas. I even had to go thank the owners and Jenna afterward because it was done so incredibly well…that I couldn’t wait to tell everyone about it!!!

Ruby and Junior can’t wait to go again. I asked them both to describe the Grotto for you, because let’s face it, that’s why we do it….

Ruby said, ‘It was magical. It was gorgeous. It felt precious. Can you get Jenna to build one in our house?’

Junior said, ‘It was filled with happiness!!!! Santa knew my NAME!! 😉 I got the dustbin lorry that I saw at Toy town!! ‘

So Mums, Dad’s and everyone in between…between your mulled wined sips this Crimbo….Please DO take  a moment, to visit Harpin’s Grotto, at Ackworth Garden Centre.

It’s your ticket to the North Pole!

 

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FRINALLY, BOO!

Happy Friday Feeling EVERYONE! You made it, you delicious treats of ‘ooh laa.’  I hope you can feel the excitement jiggling and I hope you embrace every inch of your own kinda weekend bliss!

You deserve it. We all do.

I LOVE FRIDAYS!

(It just always seems like an achievement. Y’Know one where you can either stick on ya nipple tassles or pull on a jumper, in celebration…Yet still know everything is going to be okay. Well, for the next couple days anyhow. Lol)

FIRSTLY…

Thank you for taking a moment, to click and find yourself here.

It means the world to me. You’re sexy and have excellent taste in bloggers.

Hurrah! Porn star martini’s for everyone!

No matter what you’re doing, whether you’re planning your outfit for a weekend of debauchery, running around after kids, pouring 40 wines, keeping your fingers crossed that ‘date night’ goes ahead, working, or working ‘it,’ crying into a gin, swearing because your friends have let you down, or simply taking advantage of a big old chill, where doing nothing at all, is your comfort…..

KNOW that tonight, you have The Wunna land ‘magic’ by your side and I wish you ALL the best, you kittens.

(Don’t get into trouble though, because knowing my luck, i’ve sprinkled you with the ‘take it too far,’  fun bug. I always intend for calm, but get myself into some kind of accidental predicament and live a morning of ‘post cocktail’ regret. Once I took my friend out in LA, and sold him for chewing gum. Then I got a call from my other friend, you id managed to lose, who woke up having accidentally changed his sexual preference, for the night. 🙂 )

OOPSIE!

‘Post Cocktail’ regret is always the worst kind of regret. Drink steady. Live large.

Oh fuck it. Do whatever. I’m starting to sound like Mother Mary. I’m sending MYSELF to sleep.

Okay, so i’m a bit bored and i’m on the hunt for excitement. This is always dangerous for me. But i’m having to ‘wait’ on something, which will cause excitement and to be far, i’ve been pretty patient, to say i’m not at all, a very patient person at all.

I get bored VERY easily.

I had a guy (well friend of mine) moan because I’m apparently ‘the sexiest woman he’s ever seen,’ yet he couldn’t even think of dating me because i live too far away. (I’m an hour’s train journey away. Lol Which to me, isn’t that far?) 

So already, if a guy is concerned over a small journey, then the chemistry, or pull isn’t strong enough for him…which is a sexy lil’ shame because he hot. ( I know people who lived in different flipping countries, who dated…and two of them are now married.)

Chemistry always overrides distance, if it’s real, right? 

But that’s that story. It feels like ages ago now. 

Then I stalked ‘Runnings’ on Instagram, who i’d been following anyway…because I adored his story.  I’d watched him have a ‘happy’ moment on tv one night and it made me smile. I openly told everyone that I woke up at 3am and decided to stalk profiles. His was the best kinda stalk. Lol

Being me, I tagged him in it, so he knew!

Anyway, he ‘thanked me‘ (because he’s kind) and when I went in with comedy and sass, he replied with laughter and a…

‘My only questions is why it took you so long to Instastalk? I did my stalking ages ago!’ 

SMOOTH! I like it!

So we’ve had brief banter and he’s concerned that he may smell like brocolli, yet quickly assured me he was made of chocolate?

I like both, so either way’s a win for me. Haha. 

He’s meeting me in Vegas at six o clock in the morning, one time, at the chapel for the wedding…which will be our first date.

I’m good at weddings in Vegas (lol,) so i’m sure i’ll smash it.

Then he said..

‘Well, we’ll see if our stars align and we bump into one another…’

Is that romantic, or a blow off? Haha. I’m so out the loop, I can’t tell?

But he followed it up with asking my permission to ‘physically pick me up, if our stars do align.’

He’s built like some kind of GOD. So hey, why not give the lil’ Asian a ‘lift up.’ 

I’d be like an angry, sarcastic chihuahua. He’ll love having a pet.

(Oh,shit! That sounds rude!  can make anything sounds naughty!) 

Yesterday morning, I managed to catch up with a friend of mine ‘Sailor B.’ It felt like I hadn’t seen him in ages, so it was really really good, to see him, walk passed a window, spot me and beam.

I like making people happy. 

We chatted over morning wine and caught up…and the thing I like about ‘Sailor B’ is that he’s so easy to get on with. We’ve become good friend. He’s hard, but he’s soft all at the same time. Lost and found. Just a little bit of everything really… He’s honest…WELL…with me, he’s honest.

It was good morning….

But I just had a niggly feeling in the back of my mind, that something wasn’t okay…?

Something wasn’t sitting well with me?

Anyway,

We said ‘bye’ before lunch time., so we could get on with life…This was after we chatted to my chick bestie ‘Firmonnell,’ (who has used her Friday to pour wine on shit.)

YET…I STILL HAVE that ‘niggly’ feeling with me. I still have it now?

I wonder why??

But anyway…

Whatever, you get up too…

Just have the most wonderful weekend.

I love you,

Chrissie, x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Panic, Sport, Sexting & Co Parenting

I’m definitely not at the Dior counter anymore,’ said the puzzled Asian Glamour Puss, to herself, like a lunatic, in the middle of Sports Direct, at Xscape, Yorkshire.

Right! So. This morning, I dropped the babies off at school. Well..just Ruby, because Keiran (my ex hubby) dropped Junior off. We saw each other but said nothing, because Keiran’s turned all weird.

Anyway, this term, in P.E (not my favourite subject) Ruby, has football and I’m loving this equality thing, because 20 years ago when I was in school, in the ye old glamour pussy days, girls would NEVER be playing a game of footy, would we? Ruby’s exactly like me, so she’ll hate every minute of it. Haha. But whatever, at least for others, there are now opportunities.

However I’ve decided I hate equality, when i’ve not read the memo and forgotten to buy her football boots, shin pads, socks…and well..everything, she needs for the day. Lol.

I had about an hour to dash off, find the goods and return them to school, so she could at least have a bit of a ‘footy’ go.

I walked around Sports Direct today, like I had been blown in from Kansas, to Oz, in a house that just squashed a wicked witch.

I was lost!

I just looked destroyed and confused.

Anyway, being the drama queen that I am, 😉 I must’ve done it well..because within seconds really helpful, sporty looking, life savers *popped* out of nowhere, to save my soul, from isles that I didn’t even know existed, like fairy godmothers, in tracky bottoms, with ‘happy to help’ name badges.

They probably thought I was stealing. Haha.

Anyway, I simply stated what I needed. My face looked forlorn and within minutes, they whizzed around and..

BOOM..

I paid and was not only out the door, but back at school, like a champ, with the goods, for the loin fruit.

If you were raised a Wunna, you would know that during moments of utter joy, you spank other Wunna’s on the booty, until it jiggles repatedly, out of love and excitement. She couldn’t really do that during playtime, in front of her crew and various teacher, but I saw the ‘Mama Spanky’ Glee, in her eyes.

In that moment, I felt VICTORY.

(Even though I did get distracted and buy breakfast at Starbucks mid rush.) 

The Babies adore me at the minute Being Mum feels great. It’s made single mumming it worth it. Ruby hasn’t been to her Dad’s in ages out of choice and it’s not his favourite, but he doesn’t force her to do anything she doesn’t wish to.

Junior just doesn’t like his dad. He loves him. But he doesn’t like him, because his Father is now a massive Jehovah’s Witness…and with that, comes all this ‘not fun’ stuff. With that comes having to lead a double like at five. With that comes learning how to lie & judge others. Learning how to hide things from his Dad. Learning how to….

You get it. I don’t like it and I don’t like it because i’m so laid back and open about life.

Keiran’s driving me mad with it all. Yet, at the end of the day, I’ll stand up for what I believe is right for my baby boy…He’s a good Father, he just gets lost in bullshit, before he wakes up and realizes, what he’s doing.

But anyway…I’m not here to go on about that…

So big thanks to Sports Direct, for saving my soul. I know nothing about football, at all. Well, maybe a couple things about footballers? Lol.

I’m feeling cheeky and outspoken right now. I’ve got a lot going on. I’m about to shimmie onto your telly. I have anxiety about a lil’ something that is about to happen and in 8 days I quietly celebrate something personal.

I definitely think I have a ghost in my house that cross dresses, because AGAIN, whenever the kids and I are out of the house, I come home and it looks like someone has tried on all my clothes and they smell like a boy’s locker room.

This happened to me before in LA! So I know something’s not right. I just don’t know what?

I’m a glamour puss, if I pick up another, freshly washed garment, that has been mysteriously worn and now smells of B.O, i’m going to go mental.

Anyway, this is just a quick one. All is well. I’m happy. I’m single. I’m living.

I’m still loving answering all your questions daily on my Insta story! It’s actually gone mad. So many people have tuned in and that makes me smile.

I always get asked about guys, dating, sex and all sorts in between and today I got asked about Sexting.

I do enjoy sexting, when i’m having a moment with a guy, that I really fancy. I think it’s hot, in that paticular moment. However, there’s only so much ‘sexting’ you can do, isn’t there? I don’t want them to be all ‘sext’ and no substance. I’m looking for a hero…not just a penis. I’m not just a piece of Oriental that only wants to get ‘pork sticked.’

True love, friendship and loyalty is what i’m looking for.

(Although, I did once cry over a penis, on a mattress in LA. But that’s a whole other story. Lesson learnt.)

Chrissie x

 

Last Two Months, Singledom & Living

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I’m literally having the most amazing time, dipped in ’30 something’ year old fun, glamourosity and life. I’m single, but i’m crushing, and i’m whole heartedly delighted that we’ve strapped all other festivities under our belts and we’re now getting armed in sequins and getting our ‘shimmie’ on into Christmas.

My absolute favourite time of year!

(And not just because I have a December birthday! Hint Hint! No wonder i’m mental, if I was birthed during a time, when penguins sang songs about reindeers, whilst wrapped in tinsel, by elves, who worship a dude with a giant white beard and have an after work mulled wine!) 

Yippee!

It’s just a great time of year, where nothing but tinsel and celebrations matter. Cocktails are poured. Events are a plenty. Cuddles and laughter, meander around cosy city streets & hearts are filled with love, MORE than they are broken at Christmas. You can choose to stay in, or choose to play out. Either way, it is always sweet rum drizzled and delightful!

Memories are made during this time of year.

Memories are also treasured….because we all kinda grab our lip gloss, after a Bailey’s…or look through our ‘ye olde’ phone pics and remember. Your favourite tune will play on the radio, just as you had it in your head. You’ll walk past a restaurant, that will remind you of some guy, or some girl, you once dated. Someone will totter past you in a hurry, in a busy shopping centre and they’ll smell just like the crush, you’ve always wanted to score. Memories are great. They’re not there to dwell on though. Don’t get caught up with memories, until it’s time. Until you’re old and ready. Until you’ve done your absolute back in and you can’t possibly dash, in your glitter heels to ‘Tattu’ on time, for a ‘smokey cocktail’ without feeling the pain.

Until then…just live.

Just LIVE and don’t apologise for doing so.

Guy friend: ‘See, Wunna! It’s THIS shit that makes you beautiful. The tits and all the rest of it, come second fiddle to all this shit.’

Me: ‘I thought you said you loved my boobs?’

Guy Friend: ‘Fucking hell. Haha. Take a compliment.’

Anyway….

Something great will happen to us all, which will make our kitten soul’s beam, before we wave off 2018. Something will also make us cry. But that’s life and that’s why it’s wonderful.

We’re given a story to create. A life to live…and if nothing else, we are giving the opportunity to FEEL. For 10 years this year, i’ve written CHRISSIEWUNNA.COM. It actually started 14 years ago, on Myspace. All I’ll have at the end of the day, as i’m swaying to Britney in my rocking chair, are my memories.

Go get what you want. Don’t let anything, especially fear stop you. You might not win. Yet if you don’t try, you won’t have lived. That’s what we’re here to do.

Don’t get it twisted.

(I can’t believe i’m writing this in a play area. Haha.)

It doesn’t matter whether you spend it with good friends, family, boyfriends, girlfriends, the people you shouldn’t be playing around with, lovers, old spirits, new crushes or with your next door neighbours cat?

You’ve only got 2 more months LEFT on 2018, so make sure you LIVE IT. Make sure you enjoy it. Do what makes you happy. Find you inner life love and make the end of this year (which has had it’s ups and downs for everyone) WORTH IT.

Create magical moments.

You’re here for a good time, not a long time.

Over the last week, i’ve probably done everything. I’ve cocktailed with old friends, which found me sharing fireworks with them, as we cheered on our favourites on Strictly, discussed my tragic love life and enjoyed time with family, over wine.

Helen: ‘You’re just so pretty.’

Me: ‘Aww! That’s sweet. But everything is literally pinned, sewn or glued on. I mean, let’s face it, you couldn’t put me through the wash, could you!

Helen: ‘Hahah..

Gina: ‘I fucking love you…

I’ve talked to strangers, with cucumber drinks at The Botanist, Leeds. (I love The Botanist, Leeds, because it’s so  hidden away and freshly cosy. ) Inspired people at Restaurant Bar & Grill. I’ve whizzed and whirled and eaten pear salads, with a fruity umbrella drink in my hand and with my own laughter filling the rooms.  I’ve shopped. I’ve loved. I told Matt Goss, that he’s my celeb crush. He pretty much liked it 😉 which made my heart swoon. Lol.

I’ve been a great soul, an even better Mum. But most of all, loved telling you my story. (Your questions have been amazing.)

I don’t know what happens to me in the end. I just know it’s something wonderful.

I don’t ask for much. I just ask for peace. (And the man of my dreams to share life with me. I have everything else, I need.)

Everyone keeps going on about how single I am because it’s apparently so unbelievable?

‘How the hell are you…’

‘YOU’RE Single?

‘How are you, even nearly single..’

I certainly am, and I certainly don’t know why? Haha.

Firmonnell (My chick best friend) : ‘She’s single by choice!’

If I had the answer, I wouldn’t be strutting around with a neon ‘Going Solo’ arrow above my head, would I? I’d be building my white pickett, rum stained fence, to Disney classics.

If you’re a 30 something singleton too. Don’t worry! I hear so many of you worry!

DON’T.

The worrying alone is not seductive. Lol. It’s awkward. It’s thumb twiddly.

In this day, being a single 30 something year old woman (I’m 37,) three marriages down, doesn’t make you rubbishy, like no one wants you. To me, it makes you powerful because you now KNOW what you want and instead of standing at the side of the dance hall, waiting for some guy to ask you to boogie, you’re confident enough to just make your OWN fun, with your gent of choice and leave the party whenever you wish.

I’ve never been so chased by boys in my life, than I have in my 30’s. That’s the honest truth and it’s because i’m much more wiser, comfortable and THAT ALONE IS HOT. It’s sexy. I know how I want to feel. I know how I want to look. I know what will make me happy.

Be interested in yourself and others will take interest in you. Give people something of value and they will jump on board. (My LA balcony buddy taught me that, over balcony tea….as we walked the drummer from Maroon Five, do life, through a window. He was our ‘across the way’ neighbour. He once lifted me back into my condo, when passed out drunk, as a gaggle of gay men surrounded me…not to help, but to perv on my hot laywer roommate. Lol

I was in a lime green fedora. Haha. That’s all I remember. I love West Hollywood nights. I got into a state outside ‘The Abbey’ in West Hollywood because Ryan, my crush didn’t love me. (Turns out he secretly did, but treated me badly because he had a girlfriend?)

Ry: ‘I was crazy about you. I didn’t know what to do? So I made a weak decision because i’m a pussy.’

His last name is ‘March.’ I have it tattooed on my right inner arm. J

Friend: ‘You two were going on dates and everything! How fucking weird!!!

But that was years ago….and at the time it was shit! However now, it’s a fond, funny memory.

Time is like magic….It’s certainly precious, so you should use it to your advantage. Yet at the same time, let it fly, because it heals things without you realizing. 😉

I guess, everything is just about balance….and  cocktails.

Chrissie x

 

 

 

Grandma’s, Dick Pics & Birthdays

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Life is great right now. Everything seems to be slotting itself into the right place 😉 and even though i’m wishing for even MORE amazing times to come, i’m not feeling foolish enough to forget that right now, I’ve got it pretty good.

Yesterday, I got you all to ask me questions on ‘sex,’ on my Insta Story and you excelled yourselves. My story hadn’t been viewed as much in donkies years. Lol. But yes, sex is a big part of my 37 year old world, so I really loved answering your questions, simply because I think it still has a bit gummy ‘TABOO’ label, slapped upon it, when it comes to openly chitter chatter.

I’m a cocktailing Glamour Puss. If I know about anything, I know about ‘whisky sour’ dripped sexy time. 

(All was going well, until some sexual therapist woman, decided to hate on me.)

There’s plenty of room for everyone, so don’t try and elbow me out the way. I hate giving direct advice, because I don’t agree with telling other humans HOW to live. All I do is share and I do it by telling MY OWN story and letting people ‘take’ or ‘leave’ anything they want from what the hear.

Anything inspiring comes from MY OWN life experience and emotion and not from from a dusty old ‘Refer to Paragraph A’ textbook.

That’s a polite and glamourous way of saying…

FUCK OFF. 🙂

I’ve loved Halloween, but i’m glad it’s over. I might even light a few sparklers and get Bonfire night out the way, simply to hurry it up to my favourite time of year….

CHRISTMAS.

I’m a December born baby. I have a birthday on the 19th and this year is extra special because i celebrate..

10 years of CHRISSIEWUNNA.COM 

I actually hit 10 whole years, earlier in the year. I think March?  But I didn’t want to celebrate being ace, in March. 😉  Instead, I wanted to give myself a big old ‘pat’ on the tequila back ON my ACTUAL birthday…so i’m gunna!

Wiggle.Wink. Hip Bump.

I was gonna throw a big old party, but I decided not to…Instead I’m gonna do it my own way..and you’ll find that out shortly. 😉

Strap in, Dollies.

(Wait, I feel like I need another 11.38am wine. Except it’s now 12.40, so I’m all cool and appropriate.)

It’s lil’ Sam Reece’s birthday today. He’s turned twenty six and it’s great. I’ve loved our paths crossing this year & our hungover Sunday morning snapchat banters.

He’s certainly the sexiest twenty six year old my eyes have ever seen, so I felt the need to post this pic everywhere. 😉 It’s a beautiful piece of art.

Ladies of the world, you can ‘thank’ me later.

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(Oh God. I’m sat in at The Mallard in Doncaster blogging. I always choose the quiet ‘away from absolutely everyone’ corner, but it’s got really busy. A grandma, is out with her grandson and is looking at me every three seconds. She’s doing that thing where her Grandson says or does something impressive, & wants me to acknowledge it also. Hahah. I feel under pressure to perform. Lol) 

This is not what I signed up for. Haha.

Now dudes are hounding my Facebook messenger and sending me photos of their genitalia. I don’t mind a dick pic AT ALL, if I know, and fancy the guy. I think it’s hot. It’s sexy.

Yet, I don’t like dick pics from strangers, at all. It’s just not sexy and not because i feel disrespected. Just because I’m not sexually excited by anyone, until they’ve managed to mentally stimulate me.

Flirt with my mind. Get in my pants. Simples. Haha.

Grandma’s. Dick pics. AND I have a tractor in my hand bag. I just can’t cope. Lol.

WHAT IS MY LIFE!!

Chick friend: ‘Can you not eat a chicken wing, like you’re giving it head please. It’s a family pub.’ 

Me: ‘And don’t I fucking know it! Hahaha.’ 

Right, I’m answering your questions on love & dating today. I’m moderately distracted because there is MADNESS going on around me. Lol.

I keep lifting my phone in the air and pouting to film by answers for you. People keep looking at me, like i’m strange.

I’ll give’em that.

HOWEVER, I do actually think that THESE DAYS, it is PERFECTLY acceptable to selfie take or film for your instagram in public. You’re almost behind the times, if you don’t believe that and frown upon those who do?

Anyway…

Head to my Insta Story and ask me a question on love, dating and relationships. ( @chrissiewunna.)

Thank you for following my life,

Chrissie x

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Zanetti’s Halloween…

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Halloween was just amazing. It was a wild piece of escapism, that every piece of ‘chica’ needs. The host I chose was Tom Zanetti…and as always, he did his city proud. He’s like the ‘Diddy’ of Leeds, who’s slowly, but surely taking over ALL cities & it’s great to see him going from strength, to strength. His ‘hustle’ has been grand and he absolutely deserves all the wonderful things that are happening to him right now. He works hard, he loves hard and he’s ambitious. But his heart is always in the right place.

Me: ‘Hi! It’s me. Can I come in? ;)’

Amy: ‘It’s Chrissie. It’s fine. All the way up!’

(Amy’s hot! She’s Zanetti’s PA. I told you on the last blog. I love her. She’s sassy!)

Right, so I was up in VIP, at Aspire, Leeds… which is an old untouched bank, that has been refurbished for events.

I was kinda already merry by this point, as I walked up the stairs and through the VIP entrance. I passed security, through all the calm and squinted through the bright lighting.

I was greeted at the entrance and then as I stepped forward, I  entered a world of darkness, mood lighting and sophisticated madness.

It was beautiful.

So, I like to get to parties earlier, rather than later, these days? I don’t know why? But after the life I lived in LA and the age I am now, I kinda just like to *tinkle* up for a couple hours, have fun and disappear back home or to my hotel, before all the UTTER MADNESS begins.

If i’m not there when the madness is occurring, I won’t get into trouble. 😉 

I’m not a stay out until 3am kinda kitten, anymore. There’s bed sheets to snuggle in or soil (lol) by then. I like my beauty sleep. I’m wild, but sensible, all at the same time…and if i’m being honest, I kinda like it that way.

I also love a guy, who loves to go out and have a bit of fun, (i’m naturally social,) but then go home for a bit of ‘grown up’ sexy time.

Or as we used to call it in LA, a ‘throw down.’ 😉

Wine was poured, guys we’re masked and *winking* from their tables, slutty clowns, saxophone players, haunted swimsuit models, illusionists, magicians, reality tv stars, sportsmen and all sorts filled the VIP area.

The VIP was ‘Heaven’ high, on a Mezzanine and looked over the crowd, as they filtered in and celebrated their version of Halloween.

There was a sexy calmness to the VIP and an utter hellish madness that went on down below. Hell was filled with a young crowd that had surrendered to a ‘good time’ in the name of Zanetti.

It was perfect…

..and the awesome thing about a ‘Zanetti‘ party is that all freedom occurs. However like the ‘Vegas Code,‘ it stays as a ‘sexy whisper.‘ You’re protected by life, in the name of ‘good times.’

There’s a sophisticated, high end, ‘gangsta’ vibe.

I remember everything being so full, so fast and a delicious tipsy *blur.* I was filled with wine and a girl, who was dressed as a sexy clown girl, kept giving me her card, and talking to me about life…She was wonderful and I adored her. She talked to me ‘drenched in fun’ madly. Then she told me her name was ‘Emerald.’

Me: ‘Is that your real name or a stage name..’

Emerald: ‘No, it’s my actual real name.’

Me: ‘I love that. It’s sexy.’ 

She was with a sexy ‘Catwoman,‘ and I couldn’t think of better company really. Lol. If you’re gonna go anywhere, take a sexy Catwoman with you.

Anyway…

I sauntered off to my own version of life and watch my surroundings.

Everyone was messaging me. My inbox was jammed. I even snapchatted with ‘T Bone,’ in New Zealand, and that made me smile, because…. Well…because….

Then as I stood over the balcony, filming Insta videos of myself, I looked to my left and saw Tom, with Hayley.

They’d just arrived…It was still early on in the night. 

Tom: ‘Hi…

(He was in VIP watching the crowd filter in.) 

Me: ‘Hiya…’

So I walked over to say ‘Hello’ properly and take appropriate selfies. Lol.

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Tom was quite the gentleman. He looked smart. He looked very GQ and dapper. Hayley was as sweet as pie. She beamed, with the cutest smile and was so lovely to me. She is literally BEAUTIFUL & together they were stunning.

You’d think they’re stunning anyway, right? But UNTIL, you meet them both together , even when they’re ‘on show, ‘ it’s only then when you realize just how magnetic they are.

I loved them.

The main thing that got me, was just how smitten they were. They were each other’s world and radiated an absolute genuine ‘soul mate’ love for one another. It was kinda like they were destined to take on life together.

I love that in couples. 

They’re both fun by nature. Yet, they looked young and innocent, yet sexy. There’s real depth to their relationship. 

The were definitely destined to meet and i’m sure he treats her like a Queen….which I adore. 

Anyway..

They left to quickly fit in ‘date night’ drinks at Tattu, before the party got going and when they got backed, they were drunk, happy, in love and wild.

Zanetti, does the Paris Hilton thing, where you show up early and make sure all is running smoothly, before coming back and making a real entrance, once everything kicks off.

Paris: ‘Always arrive at a party when it starts getting wild and leave before everyone else does.’

Bottom line, I couldn’t even see by the end of the night. I was sauntering around, drunk, tired, but glorious.

I walked back to my hotel early and got back in by midnight.

IT WAS FREEZING.

I definitely stripped down naked, but left all my Devil make up on…Haha…then sent a naughty video. 😉

I certainly woke up worst for wear….with a meeting that I had to get ready for at noon and a hang over.

That’s life.

I had the best time ever…

Happy Halloween

 

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Halloween, Mystical Nights & Pink Eye?

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Morning, my delicious Tricka Boos. So much is a going on, I feel like i’m ‘jiving’ along, at the speed of light, and whizzing past minutes, hours and days, on a tank that may read ‘empty.’ I’m having a blast. But i’ve got a lot of niggly bits on my mind and when you have ‘niggly bits’, you don’t really sleep to well, or rest too peacefully, do you?

Instead, you kinda ‘niggle,’ and that is my problem.

I’ve been up since 4am. Got home early, yet didn’t sleep until late.

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Last night was magical, I celebrated the Burmese Lighting Festival, with Buddhist monks, in darkness, surrounded by only candlelit tea lights, fairy lights and draping oriental lanterns. It was beautiful and I had never felt more at peace…even in the cold and I hate the cold. Two hours before that, I was picking out the Wunna Land Christmas Tree theme, with Flamingo baubles in my hands.

My life is just NUTS.

If you know me personally, you’ll know that one of my favourite things is candlelight, and dancing flames. There’s a sexy energy that I feel, when i’m swirling by fire. But I’m a Sagittarius girl, which makes me a fire sign anyway. I guess that completely confirms, WHY I feel so at ease and comfortable around a naked flame.

It’s just the kinda stars I was born under, Boo. 😉

I was definitely tragic, because I did try to get a selfie with one of the monks, but I daren’t ask him, so I had to sly one off. Haha. He would’ve actually done it. He was doing the with people. But fear got the better of me. Haha. I bottled it and hid by a fairy lit tree. I opted for doing that thing where you pretend you’re taking a selfie of YOURSELF, when you secretly have THEM, in the background. Haha. I’m such a loser.

Yippppeeeee!

I am REALLY BUSY right now and the kids are also on Half Term, which makes everything that little bit more ‘juicy.’ This is where being a single mum is SO HARD. It’s like trying to hold up your gin, in a rubber dingy, in a giant storm, whilst your lost at sea.

I’ve lunched I’ve dined, I’ve spun in playgrounds. I’ve cocktailed, I’ve influenced, i’ve worked, i’ve shot, I’ve been Mum, i’ve travelled, I’ve hit deadlines and schedules, I’ve loved, I’ve shopped, I’ve laughed, I’ve played. I’ve picked out THEIR Halloween bits and pieces and we’re all still in one piece.

I don’t even know how?

God! I love them madly.. (Ruby has a party later today. Luckily one of the other mums, Sam… is going to take her there, which helps me out threefold.)

Thank YOU!!!!

I’ve answered your questions on my Insta story,(they’re getting juicer and juicer.) Everyone keeps rubbing in the fact that i’m ‘single’ by asking me if I am 40 times a day. Lol.

I’m a happy singleton. I want to fall in love and get married one day, to my perfect man. Until that time, I’m not worried, he’ll find me. 

I’ve also been called a ‘tramp’ and ‘should work for the Prime Minister’ in one whole day. I’ve rushed around, i’ve tried to keep you all in the loop, on my socials, I’ve not eaten enough, I’ve not rested enough, but on the whole, i’m happy.

I can’t really complain!

I mean JEEZE. I got blessed by Burmese Monks last night. J

In case you’re wondering, I’m not religious by any means, not even a little bit, at all. BUT  i’m a really spiritual chica. I love to get lost in the magic of enlightenment. I find it enthralling and mysterious. If I get to light candles to celebrate full moons, in dark mystic gardens, to bring light to the world with Buddhist monks…why not? I mean, in two days, i’m off to Tom Zanetti’s Masquerade Ball,  in Leeds, for Halloween…which probably couldn’t be more opposite. Lol.

I’m gonna NEED to be blessed, before I walk into that shindig.

I swear there’s only sinning allowed.

But again, it’ll be fun. I always support Thomas madly, because you’ve got to have ‘Team Yorkshires’ back always.  In my eyes, he hasn’t done badly at all, has he? I read a lot of people hating on him on Twitter last night…and I didn’t really find it fair. But the more successful you become, the more people have something to say. Be it good or bad? That’s why I always say, that the NUMBER ONE THING you need, in any form of career in entertainment, is a really strong mindset.

It’s tough.

Yet, if you’re emotionally comfortable and have the heart of a lion, you’re waaay ahead of the game.

I’m always really tough when it comes to ‘the haters,’ because I feel so confident and happy right now. It doesn’t get to me, at all now? It’s almost as if, nothing can break my ‘happy place’ and whatever they say, just dissolves away.  I’m 37. I’m grown. I grew up in Hollywood, where things are hard on you emotionally, every single SECOND of every day. It schooled me well. A little ’Keyboard Warrior’ here and there from…(put in any place you fancy,) isn’t gonna melt my soul or trip my strut.

However, that doesn’t make it right, so this morning, I sent an important DM to someone, to see what I could do, to help them stop all cyber bullying.

I wonder if they’ll reply?

Okay…Away from that…

I don’t have an outfit for the Masquerade Halloween ball yet? I don’t know what to go as? I don’t know where to look? I need to be in it, by Saturday at 8pm, on a red carpet for quick pictures, (literally seconds,) before the evil booze up.

UGH!

I organise everyone else perfectly, but when it comes to myself, I leave myself ‘last place.’ Lol

I feel like I have no time to organise it, but i’m gonna have to try and keep ‘my frillies’ crossed.

I don’t have time to get fitted into anything..So i’m gonna do what I do best, which is just ‘wing it’ with a wink. (I currently have conjunctivitis, which everyone keeps mistaking for ‘pink eye.’ My wink is actually sore. Haha.)  

Yipppeeee!

Lord help me…

I love you, always.

Thank you for following my life.

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Blogs, Boys & Heels…

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Gosh! Morning, my lil’ Twinkles! My delicious tickles of fancy. I have been SO UTTERLY *RUSHED* off my little kitten feet. It’s been mad. I’ve been busy. Yet in a way, I’m delighted, because I really do hope to one day ‘blink’ and see that ALL of my dreams have come true…and if that takes ‘busy,’ if that takes hard work,‘ than to me, I’m there. I’d rather do it, than ponder it..

TBone: ‘ It’s not what someone says, it’s always what they do…’

Especially when i’m in a productive frame of mind. Y’know, before cocktails get the better of me. Haha.

I reckon, if you can still commit to productivity, in a really great heels, you’ll smash life! 

(Oh! Wait! I thought I said that I was always gonna wear ‘flats’ now, after running for my life and falling over 40 times at Scare Kingdom?)

Nevermind. Ghosts & Kidnappers would just set me free anyway, because I’d definitely do their head in. My choice of footwear wouldn’t be an issue.

Kidnapper: ‘God! Let her OUT. Switch her for a better victim. Ooh. Shes wearing glitter heeled pumps from the ****** collection.’

I was talking to ‘Celeb Ghost Hunt’ Ash, the other day…He wants me to go on an investigation with him. I must be a sucker for terror. I hate being frightened. Haha.

Anyway, back to non frightening stuff…

I’ve travelled all over. I’ve been on shoots, auditions, i’ve been good, i’ve been bad, I’ve been influencing a jolly load, ready for the festive season. (Which is a REALLY BUSY time for everyone.) I’m also doing the single mum thing also, aren’t I? (I adore every INCH of the bambinos. Junior’s a delight. Ruby’s got her first set of glasses.) I wouldn’t have it any other way. They’re my world. I’m raising a Glamour puss and a Hero. Last night they both *shocked* themselves up, ran out of their rooms and got into my bed, because we all got lonely and afraid of the dark. Lol

Nobody likes to sleep alone. The only time i’m okay with it, is when i’m drunk and just need to pass out…still with my face on. (Which I don’t really recommend as a graceful little pastime. It only makes you feel worse in the morning,)

On the whole, I’m really happy, right now and when i’m this busy and this happy, it seems that I forget about my ever so rubbish love life.

I’m still 37. I’m still single. It ain’t that bad.

I’m happy a singleton. But after everything i’ve been through. The ups, the downs & the ‘mess me arounds’, i’m still not cautious.  (I still wear my heart on my sleeve.) I don’t know whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing? I very much trust people with my heart.  EVEN NOW I  still trust that they’re going to take care of it…..because firstly I see the beauty in everyone and secondly…because i’m probably foolish. Haha.

I never know if they see me as their ‘bitch,’ their ‘bed notch,‘ or their ‘baby for life? Haha..Sounds like a Fairytale. If I can’t decide, i’ll just sit back and leave it to them, to come forward and show me what category, I fall into.

If they don’t come forward then they’re weren’t for me. (I’ll just see it all as, ‘they weren’t that interested.’) I like a forward man. A brave one.

You know why? Probably because i’m not used to guys being romantically forward me with…It’s almost like they’re terrified to be? And I have no clue why? Whatsoever? I don’t get it? You’ll see a lot of guys openly comment on my pics etc, via my ‘socials.’ Yet, the majority of them don’t..and instead shoot in a sneaky DM. (That sounds naughty! Haha.) 

I literally get one almost every 2 minutes. 

However, in real life….If a guy actually fancies me…they’re usually forward to begin with and then stop being so forward…..It’s like they want ME to chase them?

When you’re a 30 something woman, nothing is worse than having to chase a guy for attention. I’ve done it lots, much to my own embarrassment. But I don’t do it, now. EVER. Who has the time or that? If someone wants to go on a date..They should just tell me. If they want to be with me…They shouldn’t be scared to say it.

Plus, i’m quite traditional when it comes to the chase..the ‘wooing.’ I like a boy to ‘hunt & gather,‘ as I ‘fan‘ myself prettily.

Guy friend: ‘You only like them to *hunt and chase* if you fancy them though. If you don’t, you always *shut* them down and we hate that. You make the approach extremely intimidating…’

Anyway…Blah.

I’ve decided to describe my love life like this….

It’s kinda like cleaning a window, with a raggy cloth. Some day, I’ll be able to see through the glass. 😉 

I bumped into my friend Shaun yesterday. He’s a bodyguard..

Shaun: ‘It’s not like the flipping movie Chrissie!!’

He’d just got back from London. I’d just got off a busy weekend. Plus, I’m actually looking for family security and safety, right now. A wee bit of close protection. Not all the time. Just when necessary. Sometimes, when we’re out as a family or i’m influencing something, people will stop to chatter or selfie with me. And I love that. Yet, they’ll just be ME & the babies. I need to make sure they’re always watched. I’m paranoid after some creepy guy, who only knew me from instagram, followed us around Doncaster & wouldn’t leave us alone & after a guy tried to glass another guy in a Manchester bar, because he was trying to hit on me?

I didn’t know either guy…I knew they were both trying to hit on me?

All I heard was the female manager shouting..

‘Get her out the way…’

Then guys and girls starting grabbing glass bottles and smashing them up against the bar, to use in a fight!

IT WASN’T EVEN A ROUGH PLACE.

I wouldn’t have gone there if it was. 

The police even got called and the bar had to be shut down for the evening, It got that crazy.

I don’t get it?

So, it was good to briefly catch up, with Shaun.

Shaun: ‘You’re starting early…’

Me: ‘Haha. I know. I don’t even care.’

(I was sat in a quiet corner at The Mallard, in Doncaster.)

Me: ‘You’ve got luggage on wheels. I hate it when people have luggage on wheels. Haha.’ 

Shaun: ‘I feel like a Trolley Dolly, but i’m working it.’

So we discussed security, talked life, work and caught up…The we dashed off. (I didn’t end up posting my blog. When people I know come up to me and start chatting, that’s it, you can’t shut me up. I’ll just spend time with them instead. But I like that about me. I put LIVING life, BEFORE typing it out.)

I guess, I need to find balance. 😉

Then Sam ‘The Reecey Reece’ fest messaged me, to see when we could schedule in ‘catch up’ time. We’re like ‘ships passing in the night.’

‘Are you free on…?’

‘Are you?’

Then I just got on with life.

I’ve had so much fun over the weekend. I’ve worked. I’ve loved. I’ve lived. I’ve had the best time. I celebrated my Dad’s birthday on Saturday. I did Xscape, Castelford with the kids. We smashed ‘Nandos.’ I did Meadowhall. I wiggled at Wagamamas.

Just so much!

I’m so grateful for how well, everyone treated me, over that time!

It was actually Pete (Ruby’s Dad’s Birthday) on Sunday. But Ruby didn’t want to hang out with him, because she wanted to do Influencing with me at Meadowhall. Being Pete. he showed up at Meadowhall, with is bestie Jay, in dying hope that he’d get to spend some time with Ruby..in her new specs.

It worked…and we all ended up doing dinner together at Wagamamas, with my Mum & brother.

But I kinda like that, we co parent well. We haven’t been together for years. In fact 7 years…Yet, it’s great that we can all ‘kick it.’ Y’know, just chill and have a duck pancake together. Lol.

When co parenting works.

Anyway, about my love life…

The weird thing is, with me being busy and ‘forgetting’ about love…It seems, that gents are peeking back into Wunna Land and tapping on my glitter door, again.

I’m calling this time..

Operation ‘Blasts From The Pasts.’ 

A couple of guys that USED to fancy me,…seemed to have returned to my DM’s with a ‘Hey. How are you?’ One guy had actually started dating a girl, but she went through his phone and *blocked* me…Haha. He didn’t even realise, until one of his other friends pointed it out.

Safe to say…They’re no longer together. (But there you have it! You shouldn’t have chosen ‘The Crazy’ over me. Hhahaha.)

It’s all good fun. A laugh. We’re all making memories.

If i could tell you anything.

I’ll tell you that I was a really lucky girl. I’ll tell you to always chase your dreams and when you feel inspired, to act upon it. A dream doesn’t just have to be a ‘make believe‘ moment. You can at least TRY and make your reality. People do it every day. Why not you? I’m living proof.

Always be kind. Always do the things that make you happy. Don’t sacrifice your true happiness, to ‘run through the motions.’ Wake up. Feel the breeze, Go with it. Nothing is better than living you best life.

Don’t listen to anyone, or anything but your gut instinct. It will show you the right way. It will also tell you when you’re ready.

Always believe in love…

It is the ONLY thing, that is going to power you through the bad times and make the good times simply MAGICAL.

Preach over…

Have an amazing Tuesday….

I love you.

 

 

 

 

Blend Out Bullying with Glamour Magazine

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I have the busiest October. But i’m SO happy. I haven’t been this happy in a long time. I’m beaming. I’m brimming over with a ‘rushy’ swirl of glee. It’s not even cocktail infused. It’s bubbling from my lil’ kitten soul.

I have so much going on. I stiletto stepped out of a big audition yesterday. One that came out of nowhere, via an instagram message. (Do not underestimate the power of social media.) I’m influencing a lot. I’m leaving my *Wunna* glitter stamp, wherever I journey. I’m living. I’m loving. I’m still very single. My love life is unfortunate. I’m still the eligible bachelorette.  I’m feeling 37 and sexy. But most of all, I’m using my voice, now that I have a voice…to inspire.

The only reason why I write this blog, is to inspire other humans, via my own ‘colourful’ story. You’ll probably do things differently to me. Yet, you’ll feel my story, my journey…and remember.

I’ve documented my existence for 10 whole years on THIS website, (it started on Myspace, but got deleted by a grumpy,) via a diary. This year is my 10th anniversary. I can’t believe i’ve stuck it out.

So…Yesterday…

If you didn’t know, I’m a massive Glamour Magazine fan. It’s a delicious edit of work, that has been my companion on many a train journey, shoot, quiet moment or hotel stay. It’s a written ‘show’ of utter bliss and excellence, to me. It’s glamourous, yet comforting. A somewhat young & modern, *twist* of excitement, that not only makes you see, but FEEL. It’s a magazine that will take you from ‘girl dom,’ to WOMAN hood. It’s a glamourous ‘prep school, ‘ that will give you a solid, yet fun insight, as to ‘what happens next.’

I bought this month’s edition…

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I treasured it with my life, because it just felt so good, even before I turned a page. I skimmed through it, because that’s what I always do at first. I need it to ‘flutter,’ through my mind.

YET, mid ‘flutter,’ I *paused.* I stopped a second. I really did stop..and I absorbed.

The ‘Blend Out Bullying’campaign.

Okay, so we all know that i’ve lived a life. If I have nothing else, I have a story to tell. I’ve documented it all, from life as a model, living all over the world, Hollywood nights, being Asian, with a Yorkshire birth, marriages to actors, break ups, time as an actress, my failing love life, motherhood, my ups, my downs, m crushes, my stints on TV and well…my last 10 years has had you follow my existence…daily.

When this happens…people talk. I have my own lil’ patch of Cyberland…and yes, NOW, I have SO much support, it’s incredible. I mean, if ‘Sex and The City’ & ‘The Osborne’s’ was Asian and had a baby…it would be me.

I’ve ended up in newspapers and magazines, which again…made people talk. A lot of wonderful things have been said about me…However, i’ve taken a lot of *FLAK* over the years…and that ‘FLAK’ used to affect me massively, in my 20’s. In my 30’s, now that i’ve graduated to ‘WOMAN,’ it’s ‘shaped’ me beautifully and glamorously. I’ve never let myself be a victim of cyber bullying openly…but I have been ‘labelled’ and named everything under the glitter sun and back.

After the life I’ve lived…It’ll take a lot more than ‘a few words’ to get me down. 

But here are some of the NEGATIVE words that people have called me…

Fake. Fat. Ugly. Ching Chong. Gold Digger. Chubby. Old. Wannabe. Nobody. Disgusting. Talentless. Dumb. Bitch. Whore. Slut.

I’ve even received ‘death threats.’

‘You should DIE because you’re so ugly. I will kill you. You should get raped. ‘ 

All this was luckily mingled in with ‘I love yooou’s’ which made all the difference. It balanced it out for me emotionally.

I lost two close friends of mine. Both appeared on reality shows. Both took their own lives, because of cyber bullying.

I was just someone who ‘took it on the chin.’ I was surrounded by love. I hoped, I had a purpose. I still do. It kept me going. Infact being a Mum and having an audience…kept me going.

I heard…

‘You’re too old to do this…’

I’m not too old. I’m actually doing it. It’s like i’m in my prime.

I’m delicious.

I saw what Nabela had done. (Please DO make sure you’re reading your editorials in magazines. Being a blogger, I KNOW that they’re not JUST written for kicks. They’re there to INSPIRE you. You’d hate it if you wrote a piece, an article, a blog, or a diary and everyone said that, they ‘only looked at the pictures.’ )

Every inch of me wanted to be involved…

Just like that, (i’m a doer, not a talker…So many people have ‘talked’ at me and done nothing…I’m not that. I’m too ‘sizzle.’)

I JOINED THE ‘BLEND OUT BULLYING’ CAMPAIGN with Glamour Magazine, to help make a difference and strip all bullies of their power.Every day a ‘keyboard warrior’ reckons they’re getting the better of me, I almost become stronger.

How many of you bought Glamour Magazine, this month, read the article, thought it was great, but didn’t bother to do it? Y’know…take action?

JUST SAYIN’

No matter what, I honestly believe that every single human, has had someone, somewhere say something negative to them, or about them, at some point, that has hurt them emotionally. Right? Sometimes we bite back. Sometimes we can’t, or we don’t.

HELP DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

I’m 37 and grown. I’ve lived a life, where i’ve heard  all sorts said about me. It bounces off me, like a bee sting…and ends in total glitter. I don’t even feel it anymore.

However, being immune to the problem, doesn’t make it better…does it?

Yesterday, I chose 4 hurtful words, that others had labelled me…and I wrote them on my face in concealer.

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Then I *BLENDED* them out…into my face.

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As I was doing it, I felt EMPOWERED, because I knew I was brave enough to ‘Middle finger’ the peeps who had ‘labelled’ me AND because I felt that I had the backing of my favourite magazine and of those who root for Wunna Land.

Hang on a second…

Right, so…

I’ve just this second, uploaded a video to youtube of my ‘blend.’

After all that, I then posted a picture of the result…Which was this…

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I never felt so beautiful. I don’t feel old. (I embrace my time and my age.) I don’t feel fat. (I’ve always felt good about my body.)  I don’t feel ugly (I love my lil’ Asian features,) and I’m certainly not fake. (There’s a whole lot of TV to prove it. Haha.)

To anyone who takes the time to red this blog..I firstly THANK YOU, as it’s not like a usual ‘cheeky’ Wunna blog. I have a message today. It’s kinda like ‘The Bible’ but bouji. 😉

It takes ONE MOMENT to simply write a word on your cheek and blend.

Join the ‘Blend out Bullying’ campaign today.

Make a difference…

You could even save a life.

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Thank you for following my life…

Chrissie,

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