Part 2…The Burst In.

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4 o clock in the morning. I’m fast asleep in Suite 3, at The New Osborne in Blackpool, Lisa & Aaron The Pap, who have been OUT, all night, come BURSTING THROUGH MY UNLOCKED HOTEL ROOM DOOR, all ‘lights on‘ and ‘screaming with laughter’ ( I left it unlocked in case Ry my agent needed to pick up his luggage for Thailand…He actually decided to NOT return that evening and perform dance routines in gay bars, instead.)

YOU CAN ONLY BLAME THE BOOGIE. Yippppeeee!

Anyway, they come thundering into my suite, dripping with utter drunkenness, they’re falling about, they’re laughing their heads of, they looked like the happiest people in all the land and their souls were beaming with life. They glistened with……jagermeister. 🙂

They were FUCKED. There’s no other word for it.

Lisa: ‘Are you Up!!??!’

Me: ‘No.’

Lisa: ‘Awwwww! She’s UP!!’

(My eyes had just opened 7 minutes before. They do that, when they know something crazy is about to happen. It can be a phone call, message or a burst through the door appearance.) 

Me: ‘I’m up. Go on…. Why the hell have you come bursting into MY suite. BURST INTO YOUR OWN GODDAMN SUITE. Lol.’

Lisa: NooooOOooooo. Sharon’s asleep! She doesn’t want to play.’

Me: ‘Lovely.’

Now, this always happens to me. But it happens to me, because I love it. They know i’m not gonna be arsed. They know, they’re on safe glitter ground. Yeah, I didn’t have any knickers on, so I had to hide under the duvet. Yet, I’m only ever worried about a ‘burst in,‘ in case I’m ‘busy.’ I mean, I could’ve been having an ‘intimate’ moment with myself…Hahaha….. But surely, I would’ve locked the door? Can you imagine?

SURPRISE!! Beef curtains for everyone!

Luckily, all was well. I was ‘on my tod’ and firming placed under sheets. Plus, they were pissed, so it didn’t matter.

I can’t even really describe the madness to you, as It was THAT MUCH of a swirl of utter drunken Tom Foolery. It was whirled in laughter, smashed in volume and if i’m being honest, kinda jelly like, because it certainly lacked a certain panache. Lol.

Lisa kept pouring me hotel mugs of wine! Aaron kept accidentally kicking them over. They’re snapchatting it all. I’m in bed. And All I kept hearing was ‘Chrissie. Chrissie WUuuuuuUUUUNNnnnna. Wunna’ on repeat…and the phrase..

‘I’VE BEEN ON A BENDER ALL DAY!!’

Aaron’s now LITERALLY falling about in a state. But he’s hilarious…so that was permitted. Haha. One minute he’s papping an event, the next minute, he’s attached to Lisa, at 4am, pissed on cocktails and bursting into my hotel room…doing wiggly dances and comedy rhymes.

Me: ‘What the F*** actually happened from the time I left you, to now? And Aaron! If your arm whacks me one more time, i’m gonna kill you!!’

Aaron: I’ve got REALLY Weeeally drunk…’

Me: ‘Really? I can’t tell?’

Aaron: ‘……And Chrissy, that makeup arRRRtist, got thrrrrown out for smacking someone, or somethingggg??’

Lisa: ‘Hahaha, yeEEEah she was doing shots aaaat the baaaar and chucking the plastic shot things BEHIIIIIIIND the bar, after downing them. Lol.’

My room was just utter madness. It was like an after party…but without the chilled bits in between, where people say nothing and head bop to long winded conversations. The suite was filled with utter life. The air was a hectic, manic magical *whoosh* of never ending noisy happiness, that dashed from corner to corner. I mean at one point, I wouldn’t have been surprised if stripping dwarves, donkies and drag queens came trundling in, doing a ‘can can’ or tap dance routines to Kylie tracks.

IT WAS THAT NUTS.

And that was fine…Until this…

Me: ‘What are you doing??’

Lisa: ‘I’m doing a Poo…’

Me: Ewwww!’

As if she came into my ROOM at 4am and shat in it!!!! Hahaha. I’m the Queen of Glamourisity. Shit, in your OWN GODDAMN ROOM. But now, there she was doing her comedy ‘open door’ poo in my suite, with a mug of wine by her side.

Then…

Aaron disappears off to my bathroom…

Me: ‘Where are YOU going?’

Aaron: ‘NnooooOOOwheree.’

I hear ‘chunders.’

Me: ‘OH MY GOD. YOU BETTER NOT BE DOING A SICK IN MY BATHROOM.’

So, they wake me up at 4am, dance about, film it all, fall about in states, laugh their heads off, then one of them shits in my loo and the other chucks up!

Hahahah!

They then calm down and sit on the bed, chatting about life….they tiredness must have hit them…

FINALLY..

..and at six o clock in the morning, Lisa leaves across the HALL to her suite and Aaron The Pap, is SO pissed that he walks into the other bedroom in my suite, and passed out fully clothed in childrens bunk beds.

In the morning. I’m up. I was up and ready by 8am, because I’d had a sleep and I knew that we had a breakfast that we needed to get to by 10am. So I had to go around waking them all up.

I’m no joke. We have a schedule Lol. I’d already shot all my insta pics, videos, got showered, washed and dressed. I was full faced and ready.

Aaron woke up via my snapchat on a bunk bed. Lisa was still fully clothed, in the dark….in her face, still in her jewelry and her dress from the evening before. Lol.

That’s the sign of a good birthday!

I wake everyone up. Lisa’s moaning, after thanking Jesus, The Angels and all sorts, for such a wonderful birthday time because Sharon had woken her up for half an hour to chat to her, before she left for work.

EH? ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!! Lol. That’s Karma.

(Did she not burst into my room at 4am.)

We had about an hour to get up, get ready, and get to a scheduled breakfast at The Art Break Hotel. (To influence it.) Aaron is now in Lisa’s bed passed out and we all just start having gallons wine for breakfast, because f*** it.

That part was actually my idea. I’m a big believer in the ‘hair of the dog’ game. It works. I’m a seasoned party survivor.

So, now we’re all guzzling wine, Lisa wants to go to the hotel BAREFOOT, because she does martial arts? Lol. Don’t ask? She’s nuts.

Aaron forces her to wear shoes…So she FINDS A PAIR OF SLIPPERS FROM SOMEWHERE and she goes to BRUNCH at The Art Break Hotel IN ACTUAL SLIPPERS.

( Just so you know…The Art Break Hotel is the most beautifully creative place ever. It’s filled with the most fascinating pieces of creativity and being an huge art lover…to me, it’s absolute bliss. When i’m around creativity or works of art, I feel all peaceful and calm…I guess, that’s why i’m attracted to CREATIVE men. The place was beautiful.) 

After breakfast, filming bits, influencing and all sorts, we just sacked the rest of the day off for sunshine and more drinking.

We just enjoyed life. Ryan came back for his bags and flew off to Thailand.

Ry: ‘I’ve had to call The Daily Mail to get some article removed because another agent is kicking off over money. Oh! And Shit! I found Liam in the gay bar, so drunk, dancing away, last night!’

(Ryan does a really good impression of Liam. It’s so impressive, it’s hilarious. FYI, Don’t worry Liam. It’s a good one. Lol) 

Aaron was now feeling better..ish. Chrissy the MUA, had passed out somewhere and no one could get a hold of her. Lol. I’m walking around Blackpool in booty shorts, with a wine constantly attached to my grip, ALL DAY LONG…The sun was shining. Life was bliss, and everything just felt so chilled. It felt so far away from drama…and yeah we arrived everywhere late, and we did everything trickled in wine. But to be fair, I think Lisa & Aaron did really well to say they had drank for two days straight and had about 1 hours sleep. Lol

I loved it. To me, it was like a mini getaway, even though we were technically working.

I left for the train station at around five o clock in the evening. Lisa went on to do two more photo shoots. Sharon arrived back from work…and as I stood at a train station for hours on end, shattered, in booty shorts, as every train on the EARTH was ‘cancelled, delayed or cancelled’ and every human on the Earth seemed to want to stop, chat and ask me about my life, get my number or add me on Insta…

They went to the Beach House for dinner and cocktails and I got my pretty arse 😉  back to Yorkshire.

Ps/ If you haven’t been on my insta….you should because there lies the actual VIDEO of them bursting into my suite. So go check it out.

Blog Notes, Boobies & Inappropriate Banter

 

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Had the most amazing day yesterday, but oh my gosh, my blog notes are atrocious. Hahah. However, I guess that’s always a sign of ‘good times.’ Like literally, the blog notes alone, could be a book in itself. Haha. If you don’t know what I’m on about, throughout a day, event or moment, I’ll always type in really brief *trigger words,* on my phone, in the ‘notes’ section. Just to help me ‘tap back‘ to a memory…a moment….a time. The next day, I read my ‘trigger words‘ and like a memory time machine, i’m *zapped* straight back to yesterday….

It’s as simple as that!

My blog notes from yesterday are SO inappropriate that I am DYING with laughter, just scanning them.

So, let’s go…

If you don’t know, Sunday afternoon is my FAVOURITE time to enjoy a tipple. There’s something ‘easy going’ about a Sunday, isn’t there. I usually kick back with my friends and let time pass by with calm, but chipper merriment.

I started off at The Carelton with KatyP. We ended up at The Rustics and as the sun shone down, we found ‘Hairdresser Claire’ and her lovely Hubbster Matt, and we just enjoyed sunny drinks, before being later joined by one of Kate’s work colleagues…who’s name is also ‘Claire.’ (She must like Claires…and also must learn some table etiquette, as i’m sure she stated that one of the Claire’s looked like her dog ‘Frank,’ after proceeding to tell the other Claire that she certainly resembled ‘Old Mother Hubbard.’)

Laughter, happiness, and inappropriate banter filled our table…Yet before we even got to The Rustics, there was a table of half topless Welsh men, topping up their tans, supping sunny drinks and asking Kate is my boobies were real.

KatyP: ‘Just ask her? She’ll be fine about it. She’s a glamour model..and…’

Me: ‘They’re not real. Lol.’

Welsh Dudes: ‘Well, I didn’t know if I could ask ya. But i’m a boob man.’

Me: ‘Stop staring at my boobs, you’re making them blush. I should draw smiley faces on them, as they’re certainly have their own audience today.’

Now, if you’re ME and you see shirtless Welsh dudes at a table…who are now bantering with you..You kinda just politely banter back, have a laugh, yet don’t really commit to a conversation. If you’re Kate…this happens…

KatyP: ‘You’ll all get sunburnt. I’ve got suncream if you want, from Tescos. I mean, I’m not rubbing it in for you, but you can have some. Haha.’

She sat there with a summer wine, in a bra less playsuit…

KatyP: ‘Have you seen my nipples… By boobs are good to say I’m not in a bra…’

Me: ‘Yeah, but you’re gonna have to do FULL ON, naked wee’s, every time to go to the toilet! Bagsy, not going to the toilet with YOU today!’

But anyway, she was enjoying life, with this random bottle of sun cream  on the table, that she decided to OFFER AROUND to people, like it was candy…whether they wanted sun cream or not.

Me: ‘Don’t touch me with that sun cream…I want baby oil, not sun block.’

KatyP: ‘But it smells like holiday!’

Basically, she was like a REALLY RESPONSIBLE…Erm…what’s the word? Oh yeah…

FUCKING ALCOHOLIC. 😉

It was just such a fun day. I mean, when we got to The Rustics and found ‘Hairdresser Claire (@clairedurowhairdressing) and Matt, life just sizzled. I love them, so much, because they’re just sassy and  hilarious. I mean, we have no censor, when it comes to foolish behaviour, just for kicks.

Matt: ‘Chrissie, look at my shirt? Just LOOK. THERE! What can you see?’

Me: ‘Cum stain? Claire obviously didn’t swallow…Lol’

Matt: ‘No. Lol. That’s bathroom sealant.

KatyP: ‘PVC?’

Matt: ‘Mr Grey will see you now…Haha. No honestly, Chrissie, just look at my shirt…Yeah…THERE…Tell me what you see?’

Claire: ‘He’s gonna say, *nothing but zero fucks * I’ve heard it a million times…’

Then when Kate left the table, Matt tried to break into her phone to send her new boyfriend ‘Golfer Jonny’ really needy text messages, to embarrass her.

Matt: ‘Fuck! What’s her phone passcode? What’s her date of birth? SHIT!’

Kate sort of waltzed back up to the table, after helping children find dock leaves and committing to fully naked wee’s..

KatyP: ‘Put my phone down. In fact, I don’t care. I’d be really shocked if you could actually work a phone…’

Claire: ‘I’ll help him. Lol Let’s call him rude and inconsiderate…Haha’

It was just one of those really amazing afternoons, where you had to be there, to *zap* into our moment, our fun…our Sunday. We pretty much made fun of each other…any one who walked by us , mainly made fun of Kate and then ‘Frank the Dog’ began licking Matt’s foot.

Claire (Franks owner) : ‘Sorry about that. I wonder what he can taste on your foot?’

Matt: ‘Psoriasis’

There were wishing wells, nettle stinks, kisses, tears, laughter, slow sipping, fast drinking, knuckle pumps, a suggestion of ‘communal poos,’ as we all held hands in a ‘sat down’ circle, rounds bought, praying hands, questions about sex skills, swallowing skills, whether I could prove that I wasn’t a ladyboy, boobies and ‘Asian Consent’…

Matt: ‘No I said AGE OF CONSENT!!’

KatyP: ‘Well if you said ASIAN, Chrissie’s won, cos she’s the only one in here… Lol.’

Me: ‘And I consent..’

I’ve also put ‘Vagisil‘ and ‘you’ve got to break a few eggs to make an omelette’ in my blog notes…but I have no clue why?

WELL DONE BLOGGER OF THE YEAR!

I guess, that must’ve have been from later in the day, when we were back at The Carleton? At that point dudes were just obsessing over my boobies, to the point where they were asking to sit at our table, sitting at our table, then glaring at my poor, defenseless boobies…like I no longer had a face.

HAHAHA.

There were even points where no words were even exchanged or spoken. Lol. They literally just sat there and and admired…quietly, like my boobs, (that were wrapped in my Justin Bieber top) were a hypnotic, mesmerizing force.

Dude: ‘I’m just so distracted by them..’

Can’t remember what else happened now? But I loved Sunday funday! It was brilliant! I’m just super blessed…and a bit of a twat, but gets away with being a swine, because I’m glammy. 🙂

Even the morning of yesterday was hilarious, because I was having a really early Snapchat convo with, what name should I go with… ‘Tats?’

Tats: ‘How come you’re up so early..’

Me: ‘I dunno..my eyes just opened..’

We actually early morning chatted for an hour or so, until I got ditched for sleep…Lol. But, OH MY GOD, I accidentally posted a really PRIVATE message…on my SNAPCHAT STORY, because I hit the wrong button. Hahahah.

Tats: ‘Get that OFF YA STORY!!! Lol’

Me: ‘OMFG!! AS IF I JUST DID THAT! SHIT! HAHAHA. Thank God you noticed. OH MY GOD!’

I nearly DIED. Hahaha But whatever, can you EVEN imagine!!

But I guess, that’s the beauty of being Lil’ Miss Wunna.

Thank you for following my life,

Chrissie x

Ps/ I’m in Blackpool tomorrow to celebrate my really good friend ‘Lisa Appleton’s birthday. See you there!

 

 

 

 

Love, Life & Hero’s

I’ve had a really great day. Yeah, gosh there were parts that felt extremely looong, (and you know I hate ‘loooong’ anything. Be it stories….queues…..I even don’t get why sausage dogs are long? They creep me out.) Yet after a *blast* of ‘sat next to each other‘ sarcastic banter with my deliciously darling chick friend Firmonnell….and I LOVE A GOOD DASH OF BANTER, my faith in life, good friends and good times was not only restored, but heightened. (We’ve planned ‘doing drinking’ when everyone does worky social things. Lol)

‘I should be due on soon?’

‘I should be too? But i’m not..’

Firmonnell is utter GREATNESS when it comes to girl banter because I can…well WE CAN …HONESTLY rip each other, everyone else and the world to absolute hysterical, glittery shreds, in the name of absolute good humour, without a single censor and you need that, otherwise everything’s all ‘fakey’ and ‘smiley’ and not very hilarious at all. You know you are good friends or lovers ( I look for that in guys when it comes to romance) when you can handle a good old banter see saw! She can say whatever she wants and I will never judge her. I can literally say WHATEVER I want…and she will be the last human on Earth to judge me. That’s what I adore about her.

Yet saying that, I’m astounding LUCKY because all of us girls, in The Wunna Land circle are so SO close…yet ALL SO entirely different…that we just get along swimmingly. There’s a lot of real love between us. We’ve laughed together, we’ve cried together, we’ve lied for each other. 🙂 And it’s having that wonderful circle of genuine support that not only keeps me grounded, as do note, that I am going through a bit of a showbizzy time right now. I have a lot of dazzling’ bits and bobs’ a going on…and I feel really lucky. Yet having the girls around me every day, makes me focus on the things that matter..and not get lost in a egotistical flare of ‘look at me’ idiocy.

I’m a REALLY confident girl. An honest girl. A sassy one, yes, but a warm one. I’m tender. I’m fun. I’m kind. I’m not a dick. 🙂 I grew up being a model, ended up on a reality show and found myself being doing life as an infamous blogger and a business woman. (How hilarious. LOL.) I’ve worked hard. Yet still…it’s crackers.

I always say that my decade in Hollywood taught me how to ‘hustle.’ How to survive. How to celebrate glamourisity, yet be tough emotionally. That’s both in work and in love.  I’m soft, but not stupid. Even if I play it. I learnt EVERYTHING the ‘Hollywood’ way, so i’m probably one of the most savvy chicks you’ll ever meet. I just do it with charm and a smile. It was a great time and in that time I again made some close close friends for life. Note, that in m circle of LA friends…we were all flipping struggling…and now…right now…we are ALL doing superbly in our fields of entertainment. Two of them have their own show. One is a movie producer. One is a movie star. The other a famous rapper. It’s crazy! We were roommates and we all used to piss ‘before they were famous’ Maroon Five off (who also said they were going to be stars 😉 ) by being drunk neighbours.

But anyway, I learnt focus and making ‘dreams come true’ there, in one of the most toughest places of all, where everyone was out for themselves….It served me well. I smashed it. I can now smell bullshit in a second. But i’d never embarrass you. I’d just nod and let you get on with.

However, I will say that I learnt values, morality and unconditional love…y’know…true respect…all that good stuff, from my family. I LEARNT ALL THE THINGS THAT MATTER. The things that give you worth as a human. I have the best parents and had the most loving upbringing….and even though i’m 100 percent Burmese, (which makes me exotic and magical and very Oriental,) there’s this good old ‘down to earth‘ simplicity to me, that you could only learn in Yorkshire. I’m grateful for that. That never left me. I don’t get lost in showbizzy nonsense.  I control it. I’m a really stable chick. Even when i’m wild. Don’t get me wrong. I am a bit of an EGOMANIAC. A sexy one. I know i’ve done well…or that i’m doing well…I’m aware of the buzz. I don’t like to be treated badly be it in work, just in places, or in love. I’m cocky. I’m playful. I’m not beige. I hate beige. YET, at the same time i’m weirdly so chilled and together.  I could out glam a the finest luxury in all the land…then just kick in my my comfies, whilst sharing a Nandos with ya.

ANYWAY …this is where my friends come in…AFTER MY TIME IN HOLLYWOOD….and during THIS TIME where life for me is changing massively…I AM REALLY LUCKY, because I don’t think that many people in my current situation can actual sit down and say, I have THE BEST CIRCLE OF CHICK FRIENDS EVER. They could say they have ‘Alright Acquaintances,’ or ‘Usey Friends‘ or not very many real friends at all. I have the opposite. They’re ace. They keep me focused when I need to be, as they remind me of how lucky I am. YET, all that keeps me grounded, so i’m not an absolute dickhead…because let’s face it…there’s hundreds of ya’ll. 🙂 I don’t suffer fools well. But i’ll tell you with such grace whilst offering you a cocktail that you’ll forgive me and courtesy. Lol. I know some really great people. Not just the girls. I have really good friends all over. I mean, I asked one of my closest friends advice today and she’s in Bermuda. I love her. I remember all that time when I was going through my divorce and I was brave facing it. She could see through the ‘royal wave’ and the forced smile…and the next morning I received something in the post from her…that to this day means SO MUCH. (Thank you EMS!! 🙂 )

‘I don’t think she’s used to people actually caring about her, who don’t have to…be it friends or guys…..70 percent of them fall for *Chrissie Wunna* ….and not just this Burmese chick from Donny, named Christina. When she finds friends or guys who adore both…she treasures them.’

By nature, I’m someone that cares about people, lives and others…a lot more than they maybe deserve…and when I say ‘deserve’ I mean these are the people that haven’t done good by me…The good thing is that i’ve grown out of that. I’m thirty six and raising my own family now. I never focus on the bad past bits. It’s unhealthy. Instead I’m excited for all the good that I have to look forward to in the future. I’m beaming.

Today, if I learnt anything I learnt how important love is to everyone. I asked every single one of my friends around me about their love lives…and they delivered their versions. Each one of them *glistened* with glee as they reminisced and told me stories of how they met their husband, boyfriend, or just boned a date. Lol.

I’m a sassy one. But i’m a hopeless romantic and let’s face it, life hasn’t served me well in the love department at all over the years. But i’ve always been hopeful. I think i’m a bloody good catch. Lol. I’m sure guys have always understood me incorrectly. They’re approach is always odd. I’m someone that believes men should be brave and chase their hearts desire and do it with their romantic foot forward. I’m a girly girl. I LOVE ROMANCE. Yet i’ve had years of just idiots, with a operate their ‘wooing’ via a ‘think they know’ version of me. It came to a time that made me believe that I would never get swept off my feet by some Knight in Shining Armour.

It doesn’t matter who or how the girl is….every chick wants a ‘Hero.’

 

 

 

 

Busy, Prosecco, Stress Winks

Today was BUSY! Like so busy, that I just let myself blissfully *drown* into the hefty depths of ‘work load,’ that was dragging bundles of ‘catch up’ and was smeared in a sticky gloss of have to‘ instead of ‘want to.

YIPPEEE! Hugs for everyone! Mondays! Yeah! Yeah!

I definitely had moments where waving a flag of *surrender* seemed jolly, easy and satisfying. Lol. Wait? Did I use ‘blissfully’ earlier?’

*REWIND* No really…Back up 

Oops, I did. I take that back…Sorry..I meant, ‘shit.’ 🙂 However, now, that I’ve gracefully guzzled a glass of gifted Prosecco..I will say that, i’m finding it funny. Funnier that it was during the moment?

I think i’m just someone who likes to be on top of everything. So if i’m feeling a little behind, or a little…well whatever…. i’m rambling on…Let’s just say, my mind is currently full of other things right now. Things that I love. It’s bubbling over with a sexy creativity. I’m juiced. I’m excited. But sort of feeling as though muddling through the ‘have to,’ is cutting down the time that I need to dedicated to the ‘want to.’  Like, I have 3 press releases and a bunch of brand proposals, that I need to type up and send off and it’s been A WEEK so far and I STILL haven’t managed to find the time to do it! UGH! I’ve got a goal and i’m gonna get there…I’m gonna get there…

Rant over. *Pours another prosecco.*

But, I’m feeling positive. I’m looking forward to the future.

Y’know, I watched an old acquaintance literally FALL out of a bar at 4pm today, with a drunk face of ‘lost’ imprinted on her soul…

‘Heeeey. Chriiiisssssie….How are you…?’

I just smiled, watched past and got on with life. My head was too busy at that point. Plus, when i was her age, I was in LA, trying to make a dream come true, whilst working a ‘full timer’ at a big talent agency. I was never  actually the ‘falling out of the bar‘ girl. I guess, I’m just seen ‘wild,’ as I’ve obviously decorated my past with bucket loads of poured all over ‘colour’ 🙂 …but i’m honestly a lot more together than you would imagine. I’m charming. I’m clever. I’m more FUN, than I am lost. They are two very different things. I’m a girl who knows my way and where i’m headed. (Even when pissed. 😉 )

My fun streak is punctuated and glittered in a cheeky sophistication. So yeah, it made me feel bad when I saw her tumble out of a bar in the middle of the day…But honestly not too bad, as I just fucked it off and walked by without a care! LOL. *So loveable.*

Today was so busy, I didn’t even get to banter with my chickadees. I mean, I don’t know what’s going on with Mel and her ‘love swirl.’ It’s almost ‘Firmonnell’s’ birthday and I don’t even know how she’ll celebrate it. ‘Fairytale blond’….How’s Prince Jonny?? It’s getting ‘cray cray’ like that. And I’m one to think that if you’re around people closely…you should know about their lives and what’s going on with them. I mean, we can’t even schedule ONE evening out because…

‘I can’t do the 3rd…

‘I’m away that weekend…’

‘I’ve got drinks on the 18th…’

‘I’m at a baby shower then…’

Yet, it’s great because at least we’re busy women of the world. We’re all very different, but we’re glamourous chicks, who are making our lives worth it…We all want to do well and you’re in good company when you all have diary pages filled with ‘full,’ yet are still really close regardless. That’s magic.

But I’m definitely sure ‘Double B’ told me to ‘Fuck off’ again after slaying out *daggers* for kicks. I love her *daggers* they’re stroppy and delightful all in one. She’s literally the most hilarious human know.

‘I need to stop washing my hair in Purple shampoo & have you seen that picture of us all…my legs are darker than Chrissie’s.’

‘You look pale today…’

‘Yeah I just like to surprise you all, by being completely pastey and then POPPING UP out of nowhere with a crazy Chrissie tan..’

I’m sure she then forced me to talk to Chinese strangers and agreed that she liked me in my  kitten curled specs..

I liked it but ignored her to make fun of ‘Hot Sarah’ for once almost  being forced to dedicate her time to performing to the art of ‘Being Britney Spears,’ by some weird guy, who had pink satin sheets and dressers filled with Chanel.

‘As if you’re not wearing the headset! Wear the fucking headset!’

‘Why am I *Hot Sarah* in your blog? I want a different name…’

Away from all the Tom Foolery… *Pours another prosecco*

I want to go see SPOOKY SUE! She’s our local psychic and well MEL (who had to bags of jellies) says that she was rummaging through old ‘at home’ paperwork and she came across a scrap piece of paper that had things scribbled down on it, from one particular reading. She mentioned a few things, but on this paper she had written the name ‘GARY’ and underlined!

A year on…(and remember that Mel’s been single for three whole years with no ‘love swirl’ at all..) LET ME TELL YOU…the guy she is currently dating is actually called ‘Gary.’ WTF! Can you even believe that.!!!! I wanna see Spooky Sue! Get me booked in, with bells on!

I don’t have anything else to tell you really, other than I’m watching ‘Lady Shizzle’ drink off a stone with her new Aloe Vera diet, ‘Firmonnell’ wants new brows…I want excitement but i’m feeling fat. I am  also however feeling AMBITIOUS…

The kids? Junior has found a Ladybird and is certainly forcing it to be his new pet. He’s even read it a bedtime story.

‘I love my ladybird mum. I want to break it’s wings so it will never fly away and leave me.‘ LOL. Christ!

Ruby’s in a huff because I won’t let her start a Vlog.

‘I want to start a Vlog and I want Chrissie Wunna in it!’

‘You’re six. Chrissie Wunna?? I’m you’re MUM!’

Anyway, I’m off to wink at my mirror image.

Hopefully tomorrow will be dashed with love and fun!

 

Cue Tune!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Work, Blackpool, Drama’s & Cocktails

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‘What did she say?’

‘Gonorrhea..’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Defintely!’ 🙂 

Yes, today is the day where I spent a moment of my life, (oh life) listening ‘Fairytale Blond’ proudly tell  ‘Hot Sarah’ her story of how she has an immune system disease, with a Pukka tea in her hand, that she shared and it was delicious. For some reason I made the executive decision to change her disease to ‘Gonorrhea’..and ‘Chinese Whisper’ it on to Firmonnell. 🙂 🙂

I don’t even know? I was bored, even though it was busy. But it was funny! I need to entertain the masses, as we’re again going through lots of changes. Plus, they all know we well enough anyway and just went with my Tom Foolery for kicks, APART FROM ‘Firmonnell’ who decided to nag at me for inaccurately delivering the story of her ‘breast milk pancake’ club.

‘What was INACCURATE about YOU joining a Mum’s club that MADE breast milk pancakes for fun??? You said that!’

‘No i didn’t! I said I was JUST THERE. I DIDN’T MAKE THE PANCAKES out of fucking breast milk.

Hahaha, like  ‘just BEING there’ wasn’t hilarious enough????? Don’t know about you, but i’ve lived a rather eventful life! Y’know, I’ve coloured outside every box, danced with fire, as it’s danced along with me…but not ONCE in my ENTIRE EXISTENCE have I EVER had the delicious experience of ‘breast milk pancake friends’ AND at a community centre. HAHAHAHA. DYING!

Again..this is probably why i’m single! 🙂 I’m a tit. But one that doesn’t produce pancakes. 🙂

I don’t think i’m actually adoring being a singleton right now. I’m not liking it as much as I thought. (That isn’t a grene light for everyone to jump on in. I’m not a desperado…I can still hol dout for the right pick. Lol.

I love, love. I love the fun and loveliness that comes with joining forces with a team mate. Y’know, someone who understands you and does life with you, someone you can build an ’empire’ with and enjoy secrets with..all of that. Someone you love and take care of. I really hope to find that guy. I really hope to fall in love, as my relationship with WORK I have down now. We get on well, because i’ve nurtured that rapport. Lol. I’m headed on the right track and doing it well. I’m feeling confident. (Even though there’s been a lot of entertainment type, other work ‘DRAMA’ today, for no real reason? If I despise anything it’s drama. I get my giant glitter scissors out and cut myself away from it all immediately, as I just see it as negative and what I know in life is that NEGATIVE PEOPLE, who don’t radiate a warmth or a kindness NEVER EVER DO AS WELL AS THEY WISH. And they never do well because they waste so much of their time concentrating on bitterness instead of focusing on being better. It’s that simple.)

But yes, now that i’ve preached. Life is great! It’s always great because i have the best friends, family and colleagues around me constantly, who without them even knowing keep me grounded, smiling and..well sharp witted. Lol. I’m cheeky, i’m charming and i’m dashed in what I call ‘glamourousity.’ When my ‘entertainmenty’ world is turning into madness, and it is a mad world, as the business of ‘show’ is a cut throat industry. It’s almost unreal…it’s a dog eat dog kinda game of ‘who does it best’….And well it’s during those times when the ‘family, friends and colleagues,’ make everything okay again without them even knowing. I appreciate that and more than they would ever think.

I guess i’m going through a weird  ‘becareful what you wish for, as you just might get it’ stage. I’m happy and I’m working hard and I understand all that, I mean GOD i grew up in Hollywood. Yet when there’s glitter drama swirling around me, i’m really good at keeping my eye on the prize, concentrating on what matters, staying focused and just doing what I love and loving what I do. (By myself.) I get ahead in the time that people waste and it makes a difference.

I’m doing really well right now and I’m working really hard for everything that seems to be coming into ‘bloom.’ More than anything i’m adoring every moment of writing this blog. Giving back creatively and telling the story of my life, as I go along… to ME.. is simply wonderful. Like I always tell you, this blog, is literally the only thing that I have been disciplined and accidentally dedicated to for almost a decade. Before all the modelling in LA, TV stuff, love life dramas and everything in between occurred….there was this blog. AND I LOVED IT. I even loved it before it was public and when it was still just a little jotter that I scribbled in with a biro, on my sunny balcony in West Hollywood on Kings Road, as my neighbour Cletus, popped out (we sort of shared the balcony) to make cups of tea and give me advice, as my love life was always shitty. An ‘almost’ decade onward, a whole new life, continent, three failed marriages and two babies later, i’m STILL writing it, loving it…BUT NOW everyone is listening…

That little balcony jotter, 8 years on… has turned into a FINALIST in the UK BLOG AWARDS THIS YEAR! It’s crazy. My life is just…crazy. So, I know my time will come…and when it does…(and it seems to be going well,) i’ll make impact. It’s not how MUCH you do…it’s the impact you make when you do it.

ANYWAY, aside from all that! Thank you for all your emails and messages. I read them ALL even though I kinda don’t get enough time to always reply! I’m doing an ‘Ask me anything’ blog shortly and weeing myself at some of the questions you’ve drop kicked into my inbox. Lol. I’m really excited to whop out my replies…but mainly because i’m an ego maniac. 🙂 I enjoy it. I love a Q& A. Lol.

People have also been asking me about my time with Blackpool. Why I was there? What I was doing? Well, after I shot for House of Solo Magazine in Leeds, I shot down to Manchester and then to Sunny Blackpool to meet up with Liam Halewood for a couple of evening cocktails. It was really great, as I’d never really met him before, yet i watched him on Xtra Factor and knew that his spirit was hilarious.

I arrived in Blackpool, he picked me up from the station with his friend Aaron, who was sweet and oozed a kindness…and then after I was driven to his, I had a cuppa tea, talked to ‘Alexa,’ who is this Amazon robot thing that does everything you tell it too! OH mY GOD! Literally EVERYTHING you tell it to! You tell ‘Alexa’ to sing for you..She whops out a tune…You tell her to turn on the lights, or pop on the kettle…SHE FUCKING DOES….like magic. I NEED TO MARRY ALEXA. I then met his dog Jimmy, appreciated the stylishness of his home, giggled the evenings events with Aaron and then met Liam’s husband.

We got changed, we had fun, we gossiped about people and went out for windy cocktails in Blackpool. So much fun. A hilarious evening. I couldn’t even walk in my diamantee heels AND I WAS SOBER. But cut me some slack, do remember that I had been up at the crack of dawn doing the fashion shoot in Leeds, after the longest week of ‘every hour going’ work….I did well to get my glad rags on and do cocktails under then night lights of Blackpool with the boys. Yet, i always say that it’s the company you choose to keep that determines how much of a great time you’ll have. I couldn’t have been in better company. It was one of those random ‘good times,’ filled with laughter witty banter, and just letting lose. I needed to feel free for a moment…as i’d been working SO hard that a ‘melt down’ could’ve occured. Lol. Plus, I hadn’t drank all day, so i needed to feel comfy and I needed a wine, before we even started the night out. So we walked to the shop to get one quickly, as you need one when you’re getting ready. Liam looked all styley, with his shoe game on point. I WENT IN MY ONESIE. 🙂 I know!! Whatever, it was cold outside and it felt so cosy. AND the shop was literally two seconds away.

‘Chrissie they haven’t got a mini wine??’

‘Ugh! What is there?’

‘You an get a can of Jack Daniels! Lol!’

‘But do they sell straws? I can’t drink out of a mini wine or a can of JD without a straw. I’ll look like a DICKHEAD!’

I had totally forgotten that I was STOOD in the middle of a guy’s newsagents IN MY ONESIE, already looking like  prize twat, whilst in heels and concerning myself over the fact that I hadn’t got a straw for my goddamn can of JD. 🙂

‘Look! I’ll just buy a Ribena and you can use THAT straw.’

See! I adore people who come up with solutions to my problems. Lol. Ribena is purchased, the straw is placed in my can of Jack Daniels in a can. I’m now the happiest girl in all of the world. I’m armed with a Gucci bag. Yes, I looked THAT terrible…and as soon as we walk out the newsagents…

*PAP/PAP/PAP/PAP/PAP*

(It actually happened ALL night, wherever we went.)

Now….in these situations, you can either shy away or you can realise that even though you’re comfy, you look like a tool and commit to it. Ofcourse I went for commit to it…and well we all know that i’m the exact opposite to camera shy. I took my facebook slutty onesie pics to the NEXT LEVEL. Hahah.

It’s a good time. We laughed all the way back to his…nearly got run over….but laughed….

‘Fucking hell, i’m not going down like that!’

Then we got changed for our night out. It’s was a windy night and we were meant to go for posh beachfront cocktails at Beach House. But it was closed.

So instead we tottered into into ‘Las Iguanas,’ which was across the street and filled with a bright ‘life.’ You know how much I love a fun Mexican joint. It’s one of my favourite types of ‘hang outs’ as there’s always something quite relaxed yet exciting about them. My second husband was Mexican. Being Chrissie Martinez for a bit was hilarious. Before that, I was a ‘Weverstad’ and then when I got to England, I was a ‘Thompson’…Then there was just ME again….as a Wunna! 🙂 And even though I get along with all three guys so well…I’m much happier.

We all enjoyed cocktails and the most delicious nibble trays at ‘Las Iguanas.’ I’d definitely go again. The food was delicious. Plus, I adore a good nibble plate. It was great! We bantered about life and love. Just all sorts really.

I guess Liam had been in there before, he seems to know everyone in Blackpool. He’s pretty much just produced and put together his own reality show, called ‘Fylde Coast’ that depicts life in Blackpool, yet one that shows you a more glamourous and fun side to it. I’ve officially done cocktails in Blackpool now so I can literally tell you that been there IS a glamourous side to it! I watched the trailer of the show on his phone, whilst I was sat on the sofa and let me tell you.. I was pretty ‘hooked.’ If you enjoy tongue in cheek, yet fun reality shows…then you will LOVE  ‘Fylde Coast.’ I hope it does well! 🙂

That night was a great night, as I got to let loose for a second during a very busy, busy work week.

Yet, as per usual, I was dashed to the train station when the clock struck ‘time to leave’…and just like that, after a few selfies, an evening of being papped and a great time meeting new friends…I waved Blackpool ‘goodbye,’ as my train left Platform 6…and made it’s way to Manchester Piccadilly.

(Y’know, when it got to Manchester Piccadilly and in the 7 minutes that I had before I was headed to Leeds…and whilst some strange gentleman was trying to hide the fact that he was smoking on the platform, yet still managing to do weird slutty faces at me…I AGAIN, used my 1 percent of my remaining life to Snapchat Steven Bartlett. Not to be creepy or anything…well, i’m sure i look creepy….But I had seen his snap a day before or so, which was asking people to give ‘ask HIM’ anything’ for his Q & A. I actually have A HUNDRED THINGS TO ASK HIM, so this was music to my ears, but i just couldn’t find a spare minute to simply send a ‘snap’ to him. I found that minute…on Platform 13 of Manchester Piccadilly, now 3 minutes before my train arrived. I began filming….and just as i was about to ask my question….MY PHONE DIED. What is my life!)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Girls in Business, Fun & Mr.Rights….

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Just one of those good old, fun days, where in which you work so hard, yet play hard with it, that laughter, sass and good times simply fill the air like magic.

Today was magic!

And like i’ve always said, we kinda have to hold on to those moments of happiness, because as humans they mean so much to us. It’s those euphoric moments of ‘life is great’ that play over like a happy, slow motion, glitter flurry, that we very rarely get to experience in our lives. Those moments are like gold dust that slips through your fingers. You have to remember to open your arms and embrace the good times in work, life, love and family….whenever you experience ‘magic.’

…Then i walked into a little corner room filled with happy people, sat on cushioned window sills and comfy seats that didn’t swivel. As I did, ‘Styley B’who looked like a ‘Ken Doll’ had lifted up a chair, that was about to hit a skirting board *boingy* thing.  The leg of the chair grazed it and as I tottered in, like a Glamour Puss Extraordinaire, the *boingy* thing had been struck, making it sound like I had let off the BIGGEST, most SATISFYING *FART* in the entire Universe, on entry. Hahahah! WHAT IS LIFE! THIS IS WHY I’M SINGLE!

Everyone just pissed themselves laughing and I stood there looking a *happy* sort of puzzled and moderately concerned because I didn’t actually know whether that *sound* had come out of Me or not??? HAHAHA.

If it did, I was going to style it out! 🙂

And this was AFTER I had been asked about having my children and the ‘Paradigm’ of it all??? I didn’t know what to say and my mouth just opened as words fell out… BUT THESE WORDS….

‘Well I don’t really know?? They weren’t really planned. They kinda just happened in hotel rooms after vodka. 🙂 🙂 But now i have them…Yeah….It’s great, I couldn’t imagine my life without them!’ LOL.

WHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!

‘Fairytale Blond’ did a jaw dropping giggle and comforted me through the pain as I sat next to her on a black and white striped, window sill cushion.

Then ‘Hot Sarah’ who once dreamt that she gave birth to a roast chicken, talked to me about a Chinese New year calendar, that I wanted her to deliver to me via the fine art of contemporary dance OR in Chinese.

‘You’re not even Chinese Chrissie!’

‘Noooooo. No words. Let your body do the talking!’ Lol.

‘Hot Sarah’ has decided that for her ‘New Year, New Her’ she’s going to dye her hair brown and wear pretend glasses, so she looks older and smarter. Haha. This is because someone said she looked 19 when she’s in her late twenties. I think?

As she said this, to my left I heard ‘Double B’ (My other chick comrade) saying,

‘I’M GOING TO CRY INTO MY CUP AND DRINK MY OWN TEARS!’

HAHAHAHA….I Literally wet myself laughing. WHAT IS THIS TEAM????? How do I even know these people! ?! They’re AWESOME! It’s nuts wrapped in bonkers. I spend over 300 days of my year with them! No wonder i’m a tool. They’ve rubbed off on me.

‘Does anyone have a pen…?’

‘No.’

‘Does anyone have pain killers?’

EVERYONE! (Lol.)

You’d THINK headed into important meetings WE’D HAVE PENS.

‘Double B’ had a FUCKING SATSUMA. 🙂

‘If i eat this, will you peel it for me Chrissie?’ 

‘You’re 21 years old! You can peel you’re OWN fucking Satsuma!’

‘I’ve just never learnt how!’

‘Dickhead.’

All jokes aside…WE SMASHED TODAY. 🙂 So busy! So much fun! Loads of hard work! Totally NAILED IT!

When girls do business WELL…We are SO SEXY! 🙂

You know, I always think that you really need a good group of friends that you seem to accidentally spend a lot of of your time with, due to work. They keep the passion in you alive. It’s that mixture of energies, that playfully tinker alongside each other, that helps your own personality grow.

In fact it kinda makes you a better girlfriend or boyfriend. It makes dating and your people skills MUCH easier when you have a good group of friends because you firstly learn how to meander with & around different personalities and secondly you have support.

I mean we all work hard together, we go through ups, downs, boyfriends, girlfriends, Snapchat filters and all sorts. 🙂 But we tell each other everything. But, I reckon the people who have a decent bundle of work buddies, who they spend a lot of time with….make better partners and better ‘other halves.’

We understand what ‘busy’ is. We’re too busy to be naggy and during our free time, we know how to unwind and have a GREAT TIME with whoever we’ve chosen to date!

Today on Twitter I was asked if I ‘had time to fall in love?’

I don’t want you to think that i’m some cold hearted ‘no love for me, too busy‘ chick. I’m not that at all. I’m warm. I’m bubbly. I love, love and like I said on Twitter, I DO HAVE TIME to fall in love and I also do hope to fall in love….You need love to iron out the stressy crinkles you go through with work. You need that one person you trust and team up with. That person you build an empire with. I completely believe that!

And YES, i’m going solo right now, but because I don’t want to ‘just settle…’ I’ve dated a lot of people who i’ve ‘just settled’ with…and it just wasn’t right, as we didn’t have the same passion for work, life or each other….really. We didn’t see the world through the same eyes, or even enjoy the same things.

When a man has found the right partner, he feels on top of the world, like he can conquer anything. He gains the heart of a lion. You can even see it in him!  When a women achieves and feels cherished, she owns this glow of utter power and love, with a warmth and strength that can rule the entire world. You can feel it when she’s near you.

That’s what i’m waiting for….

And like i’ve said EVERY SINGLE DAY, THIS YEAR, SO FAR….

I’m not the slightest bit worried..

He’ll find me. 😉 He’s close…

 

 

 

 

 

Busy Days, Inboxes & Video Snapchats

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I’ve had a busy one! Today felt REAL. It felt ‘back to normal.’ It kinda of *zooshed* by.  In fact, the ‘busy’ sprung out of nowhere with a *B’BOOM* and those of you who have followed this blog and entangled your way into my mind, KNOW that I adore a bit of ‘busy,’ I thrive off it and *can can* kick it, like a some kind of ‘Boss’ Queen. I’m excited by the bustle of busy because it puts your worth and talents to use.

YET, there was definitely a moment where in which I was ‘face to face’staring at a ‘Fairytale Blond,’ both of us with a busy phone attached to our ears, having a busy conversation, with other busy people and as every other phone, in what seemed like ALL of the busy land, began to ring non stop! It was crazy! We needed octopus arms, gin, an army or…gin. It was fun…and did I say…busy? 🙂

Good day! Flew by!

But GOD! I should’ve shut my kitty mouth about guys and dating last night on the blog, shouldn’t I! Lol. I’m not sure what happened exactly? But my inbox sizzled up and became full of ‘Let’s go out’s’ and ‘Meet me’s!’ I can’t meet EVERYONE! I didn’t mean I was going on dates with every single stranger with a laptop or iphone thumbs! Lol.

I’m always one to think that  life dances people into your path, who you’re meant to meet. You actually build a rapport together without you knowing and that rapport develops. I don’t find it easy just to meet people I don’t know in REAL life, who have only *typed* at me, unless i’m REALLY into them, OR i’ve really gotten to know them. That’s why it’s better for you to run into me in person, befriend me or send me a video, or a snapchat. Doesn’t that sound so unromantic. Lol. But it’s a new world, a new century, so i might as well just go with it.

PLUS, now that my schedule has busied up (and you can also add babies into this equation) i’m noticing that i’m quite picky because in the time that I have free, I want to make sure i’ve spent it with someone GREAT, if i’m going to. Someone who’s a lot of fun. Or someone’s who’s really inspiring. Or someone who’s hilarious or so interesting i’m hooked. I’m really picky by nature anyway when it comes to love..Some may say ‘shallow.’ 🙂 Shut up ‘Firmmonell! But i’m not fussy ‘picky.’ I’m just ‘know what I want’ picky and that’s really different, as i’m not high maintenance AT ALL. I’m just in such a good place emotionally and in life in general right now, that i’m willing to hold out for someone who’s really right for me. And i’m sure that’s what you all want to for yourselves.

I mean GOD, I already had some sweet guy blow it because he tried to be what he THOUGHT I wanted him to be, instead of just himself. Why do we do that? I’ve done it in the past. I’m guilty as charged. So, i’m not at all ‘finger pointing.’ I’m just glad I don’t do it now. But i understand it completely.

Now listen boys! Rules of dating! If you actually like a girl, a lady…a GLAMOUR PUSS…and you want her to take your advances seriously (and this guy did, as even though I never really replied to him….Every day, he would ask to meet me, or send me a sweet picture of himself with love hearts and ‘Good Mornings’ and stuff of that nature. Never rude. Always normal. Seemingly kind.)

Tonight….he messed up.

This is what you never say to me,

‘Can we be fuck buddies?’ 

After I politely responded with a ‘NO,’ he didn’t then decide to use his brain. He didn’t think to save it with a humour or flattery or anything! He panicked and instead he went with,

‘What? Well it’s not like I want to marry you anything?’

(ALL THE WORST THINGS YOU CAN SAY TO A GIRL. Haha!)

By now, in my head, he’s scribbled himself out of Wunna Land by accident. LOL. So i thought I’d make it worse, because i’m kind 🙂 ….and say,

‘Shame, as i’d be looking for someone who would want to marry me rather than just bone me.’

(Because I know he didn’t mean it… He’s sweet really, but just said all the wrong things.)

His reply…

‘Make up your mind! What do you want? I’m trying to be this and i’m trying to be that and…’

AND THAT IS WHERE IT ALL GOES WRONG!

Y’see, you shouldn’t have to try and change who you are to meander around what you THINK a person would like, because if you don’t actually know that girl or guy personally, then assuming how they want you to BE may not be the best approach.

Get to know them properly, I mean, don’t be scared to get to know them properly. Go for it. And if they don’t want to get to know you, it’s their loss! You tried. And boy’s yes, you need to be forward, yet you need to be gentlemen.

Go for it! But don’t balls it up!!

Ten minutes later, I was laid ontop of my bed after work, in my black and white pinstriped work shirt, watching Steven Bartlett’s ‘New Year in Singapore’ Vlog, like I do every evening to unwind. I find it comforting and easy to watch. (I guess, it’s just the same as those of you who find yourself popping into Wunna land for a casual blog read.) I just find Bartlett exceedingly interesting. He’s really talented.

Anyway, I’d been waiting for his next Vlog for ages. I was on Snapchat faffing around with the filters. Then BOOM just like that, his new Vlog had been uploaded and I was so happy when it finally posted and even happier when he uttered this sentence on Snapchat…

‘Send me a snap of you watching my Vlog and i will reply… with a video.’ 

WHAT!!!!???!!! AMAZING! Sent a snap in a second. LOL. (I’m ridiculous, I know. But I can’t hep it. I’m a huge Bartlett Fan.)

Got my *Video Snap* from him straight away.

He was there in his hat. He thanked me, had Pablo the puppy on his knee, who was doing some cute ‘stretchy chin thing,‘ on a desk that was infront of them.

Then I heard, what I thought was music, but it was his computer? And with a glint in his eye and a dash of excitement he *popped up* with a fun…

‘My Coachella tickets are ready!!!’

And that was my Bartlett video snap!

I loved it. How fun! Good idea right! I’ll have to steal it!

I sent him a ‘thank you’ video snap back.

But it was ace because I loved  actually peeking into a tiny bit of his ‘real life’ world. It was also great because it sort of helped me understand how people may feel, when they actually get to peek into Wunna land.

Then just as I sat up and reached for my wine…my Whatsapp *notified’ my attention.

It was a message from ‘London Business Man…’ Uncanny timing, after the brief mention on yesterday’s blog. I like good timing…and good old male bravery.

All it read was,

‘So when are we catching up. xxx’ 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Next ‘IT’ Girl & Inspiration

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Well I have certainly noticed that every little girl in a little bit of limelight, or a huge amount of stardust is wanting to be the next UK Girl of ‘IT.’ (And when i say, ‘every little girl,’ i’m referring to those in entertainment, who have maybe shone their bit of ‘look at me,’ been on the telly, wanting their moment of stardom, have been around for ages, or the ones that have just experienced their first five minutes and now want to roll it into a future.)

Of recent, I’ve been invited to blog a lot of events, do lunches, shimmie at celebrity parties etc..where i’ve charmingly chittered to huge amount of glittery people, hung out with a dandy bunch of ‘heels’ and watched everything or nothing taking place, right before my very eyes, be it in public, behind the scenes or in Cyberland. (I watched everything closely. I adore the psychology behind it all. I love studying people and seeing what makes them tick, what their next move is…like a creepy but glamourous stalker Lol…..and like i’m some kind of dodgy Mystic Meg, I predict stuff accurately with a *wiggle,* a *giggle* and a bloody good *wink.*

2017 is the year that everyone shoots for a ‘COMEBACK!’

I’ve heard this phrase been thrown about a lot at events…

‘I want to be the next Kim Kardashian.’

Or

‘ We ARE the answer to the Kardashians.’

And it’s sort of making me smirk a little and I shouldn’t, because gosh, i’ve felt all that before. I get it. But i guess, the problem here is, that there already is a Kim Kardashian and you can’t BE HER EVER. You can only BE YOU. (Hard to hear, I know. But it’s true.) And to top it all off, there is also three more Kardashians and two Jenner’s, who have quite solidly and rather excellently formed some kind of ‘IT’ girl, power house that has taken over the world. It’s amazing. Who WOULDN’T want to be them! Well done! *Applause all round.*

BUT like i said, THEY ARE The Kardashians and you can’t be them. Nor can you be the UK’s answer to them. They ARE ‘THEM.’ And they’ll glitter piss all over you, if you attempt to wangle on their block.

However, i’m not trying to be negative here, as if anything i’m a positive person, a warm hearted being, i’m ambitious, fun loving and someone who enjoys to inspire and be inspired. I’m not one of those ‘tooly’ narky people, who just moan at everything. They’re dicks. But i’m honest and loyal to my honesty. So what i’m trying to say, is that THE ONE AND ONLY THING THAT YOU CAN DO OR BE BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE….IS YOU!

Not another single other being on this entire planet can be you, better than you, so do it well. Don’t focus on what other’s are doing or what they’re being, or how they’re looking or what they’re saying. By all means, be inspired by them. Study them. That’s what they’re there for. All great new ideas have usually been formed off the back of someone else’s great idea. Yet remember to concentrate on what YOU’RE doing, what’s great about YOU, as a brand or a person remember what YOU stand for. What YOU celebrate! And when you do that, and you stay focused, you work hard, you be creative with it, and give it your all, your time, your heart, your dedication, but you do it well, you do it smartly. You proactively move towards your goal and you use your flipping brain. If you do all that, I think you’ll find that people may begin to notice…and when they do…YOU SMASH IT!!

Focus on what you do well…and do it!

So yes, Kim K has done really well and that means it CAN BE DONE, so you CAN be the next UK girl of ‘IT.’ You don’t have to BE her, LOOK like her, DO like her…You just be you, as there’s room for everyone, to ‘BOSS IT.’ Some are going to be better than other’s at it. In 2017 EVERYONE’S ATTEMPTING A COMEBACK. (Including myself. But more than anything, career wise…i’m a blogger, a writer..that has turned into this mini sized ‘personality,’ after being on the telly for a bit, being a model for a bit and  designing a sex toy range for Ann Summers…a bit. But i did it all well. I like to think that i made ‘impact’ because you an do a lot of things and have no one notice. Lol)

But back to his ‘IT’ girl malarky, like i said, when Kim wanted to be the next Girl of ‘IT’ she was watching the likes of Hilton, who had the world eating out of her hand. She knew her personally and had done for years, even went to school with her and she was nothing like Paris, yet had the same ambition.

Obviously I know Paris well, I am a product of her UK TV show, I spent a lot of time with her, when she was at her PEAK and that was during filming and after the show had ended. ( I have a lot to be thankful for, to the producers and casting at ITv2 for putting me on that show. It put wind under my sails and i am a massive Hilton fan, as i’ve never watched a girl work harder.)  But yes, both of those chicks, utterly different, yet both absolute ‘BOSSES’ of ambition.

So with the right ingredients, determination and the correct people on your side…you can do it too. (Something tells me that Hilton is about to sly on in and snatch back her crown from Kim K. Lol I can see it.)

Anyway, away from that….today I was utterly inspired. Right, I drive. But i have this driver, this taxi guy who I always use when i need to go to an event, i need a last minute glammy run or just a driver that I can trust. Today, I called upon him to ride ‘Baby Junior and I’ to Toys R Us in Doncaster. (Important Event.) I don’t know why i called him for a lift, but I did and it seems as though whenever i need a pep talk, because all yesterday I was getting stressed, ‘The Gods’ up above send me ‘Rob The Driver.’ He’s like a weird Guardian Angel.

I get in, we start talking, I ask him about his world, we have a giggle, Junior asks for the tunes cranked up and Rob then shoots in and asks me about my world. We talk life, love, work and dating. Now, Rob’s seen through the years, driven the car with different male faces in the back, over the years, rode me to events, piked me up from them and heard all the gossip and well…he’s in good stead to deliver advice, without me asking, into Wunna land.

And to cut a long story short…after he had told me that I needed to date someone as ‘busy and ambitious’ as I was, who had similar goals, as no one else would do, as they would either be suffocating, not part of my ‘team,’ or just not get it.

‘Not to be funny Chrissie. But if i wasn’t to know you and was to see you in a bar, i wouldn’t DARE come up to you and ask you out. You don’t see it, but i do. You have a way of making a guy feel less masculine without you even knowing. That’s why you need to date someone who is ballsy, confident, doing well, has his own life going down and is on a similar path. Someone that you can look up too and think WOW! However that will just come.’

Like I said, i’m never too stressed out by my love life. It’ll all work out in the end. He’ll find me. He’ll pursue me. He’ll win me, f that’s the way it goes. Sorted. Fairytale box *ticked.* I mean Cinderella lost her goddamn shoe at an event ‘cos she was PISSED, not late for the carriage. It was Prince Charming who did all the leg work and found her, to make him hers. 🙂

But MORE IMPORTANTLY…

Rob ‘The Driver’ said this one thing, before Baby Junior and I left his car to wipe Toy R Us out, whilst everything was on sale…and that was this…

‘I have always said no one I know works as hard as you Chrissie and you’ve just got this aura about you. You were built for this. No matter where you are, people know YOU’RE THERE!! Whether you win, whether you lose…People know you are there and that’s something that can’t be bought! So look, you’re OVER HALFWAY to the finish line now….This year, you just need to go for it.’

And with a smile, a nod and this whole warm feeling of absolute inspiration that rose all the way through my soul, to make me beam, I waved him ‘goodbye,’ grabbed by little son (Junior has my exact face and it freaks me out completely) and as I swung Rob’s door shut, I knew great things were coming…

 

 

 

 

Boxing Day, Boys & Them Good Old Goals

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God! Get me back to work. Lol. I’m certainly going mental. I’m like a firecracker ready to *burst.* My mind is going at 100 miles an hour, and i feel like i’m not being put to use, as such. I’m sort of just ‘sitting pretty,’ with all this creative juice a bubbling and a determination that’s sprinkled with winks, will and charm. I’m even back to laying in bed awake, in the dark, after my usual and favourite Bartlett Vlog session and I need to either stop being an idiot and chill or just get on with it. I’m ready to BOSS IT now. Lol.

I think after all the December excitement that i went through, I really smashed it and I felt really proud of myself, as everything in the last year, I became strong. I was confident in what i was doing. I still am.  Even more so now. No that’s wrong. I usually have no clue what i’m doing, but when i do it, I really GO FOR IT.  Lol. But I will say that every single goal I set for myself and even gave myself a timeline for…I ACHIEVED. Even when everyone thought it was impossible. Even when i thought it might be impossible. Lol. 😉 I fucking did it and i loved it, because it reminded me of ‘Old Skool Chrissie Wunna’ days in LA when i was a demon at nailing goals. But Hollywood is such a motivating town, as everyone’s out for the same thing. It makes you stronger, keeps you smart, sparks your passion and wires in your competitive streak. AND you will always look good doing everything. 😉 If i’m going for it, i’m going for it. If i’m fucking it off, i’m fucking it off. SO, i might need to try and examine the ‘grey’ a bit more in 2017. I hate the ‘grey’ of anything. I’m an impulsive person. I’m a decisive person. To me, the ‘grey’ is always like a long boring lecture of ‘someone else’s problems.’

I will also say that once i had quit ‘for no real reason’ dating (that’s when you date someone who isn’t really right for you, but you find yourself accidentally sailing through some weird life chapter with them. You know they’re wrong because your connection doesn’t make your eyes smile, your soul light up, your fire burn. It simply ‘lulls’ calmly onward, like it has slowly slaved away it’s entire boring life and has finally had a cuppa tea and retired with back ache. It’s someone who doesn’t kinda mentally or emotionally fit the life that you are living, or wanting to live, someone who doesn’t have their own goals or support your dreams either. I have dreams. I’m wanting to glitter build an empire. I can’t do that with ‘Mr. Billy No Goals,’ who just wants to bone me after pizza. I like to feel impressed by men. So even though i’ve been single for a year and i’m enjoying it. I’m very open to love. I love, love. Yet, he ofcourse, just has to be the right guy and i’ll know it when I have it because i’ll feel it and he will to. *Cue: Electricity.* I’m never worried about my love life, because i know that he will find me. One day he’ll be flicking through is own life and he’ll pass me, see me, read something about me or quickly glance at a selfie on Facebook and in that moment…BOOM…he’ll have some kind of *sense* that brings him to me. The ace thing about being an ambitious girl is the simple fact that it takes your mind off your love life, so you’re never that moany ‘eat loads of carbs…cry into tequila…..drunk dial continuously’ girl. Lol. I’ve been her, as a young kitten in LA…AND Yorkshire in fact. Haha. I’ve been her GLOBALLY. 🙂 It’s funny now. But fucking hell at the time it was heart breaking.

Christmas is over, the New Year celebrations are ahead of us. I’m filled with a  bunch of Boxing day leftovers. I only did cocktails. 🙂 But I spent much needed love and time with my family. I come from a really close family and along with Ruby and Junior, we’re The Wunna’s and it’s great. I don’t think the babies have been happier. They’ve never just had me to themselves for whole days on the trot. My full attention. It makes me smile.

I rested up also, as I needed to. But then with a quick Boxing Day text, I went out with my old work friends Jenna and Danielle. Oh my GOD, so much fun! I LOVE that i have such great company always. I have some really great friends, who are really great humans. They are definitely girls who know my whole life. We know so much about one another, but we’re so honest about everything. Lol.

Jenna and I are all grown and sensible now. Danielle is still fun and NOT. (She totally kept disappearing to *Christmas Kiss* unsavory boys down ginnels, in sneaky corners or in Tesco’s carparks. Lol.) Makes me WEE MYSELF because i love her.

*Oh! We’ve drank all the vodka Chrissie.*

Hahahaha!

Jenna’s ace because she’s like Wunna Security. If people are staring at me…she will know. If anyone is about to bother me…she will know and she will sort it. I trust her immensely. And she’s ace because she really good at giving people *daggers* if i need her to. AND really good at just being ‘us’ if we’re being stared at.

Danielle… (who kept talking about wiping down cheesy willies..)

‘Honestly, Chrissie! I wish you could see into my brain and understand what i’ve been through. I have to wipe down cheesy willies.’

‘You don’t need to go to Uni for that! Just grab a fucking wet wipe and wipe it for Gods Sake.’

Anyway, Danielle. (I used to call her ‘Greedy Dan’) was like Paparazzi Dan. Jesus Christ! Lol. I love a picture, a video, a snapchat, a Tweet, a selfie. You can take one any time. You can plonk it on *Insta.* I’m game, i’m there with you. I’m all about being Cyber Social and well…it’s my main domain, isn’t it!

Danielle, decides to snapchat absolutely every single waking moment of our evening (which was fun) but to the point that she filmed a VIDEO of me going to the CASH MACHINE, which ended with me turning around with a hair toss and saying,

‘Have you just filmed my PIN NUMBER DICKHEAD! LOL. Stop!’

Hahaha, she was just filming me putting in my pin, grabbing dosh out…Lol. Hilarious.

Great night! We went into town after drinks around Ackworth. Jenna and I went home early, with dirty kebabs in our hands. When Jenna ordered her Kebab, she eloquently said,

‘Dirty kebab please?’ Lol. Oh and this was after some random guy kept offering to give us £10 for ONE cigarette.

‘I’ll give you a tenner!’

Danielle stayed out. Lol. *Pisses myself laughing.* Lord knows what that girl got up to! Definitely the most sober person in town. NAAAAAAAAAT!

We sang out loud to this all evening….


Great impromptu night!

The rest of the days have been spent with my Babies… 🙂

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Christmas is done. (I need to start my fricking DIET. I’ve gone up a dress size! And only five ft’ four. I can’t hold ‘*chub* well.

New Year is great. I love a celebration, as I tend to refrain from celebrating the past year, as i more concentrate on bursting into the new year with hope and my fingers crossed, with emergency rum in the cupboard.

I have lots planned for 2017. I just kinda hope it goes well. I’m positive. I’m feeling strong. I’m feeling like i can *boss it.* But i do worry…Lol.

It’s on my mind….

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A Cake With My Face On!

ac70So, I was feeling a little tender, gently eased the door closed and dashed (went slowly) to Greggs for coffee as requested by ‘The Mighty!’ I just figured I must have looked as rough as I felt and with one deep look, she was certain the coffee needed to run through my glittery ‘hungover’ system!

Stood in the queue. It seemed to take forever, like the end of a conga line that wasn’t any fun anymore. I finally got my little tinsel tits to the front of the Greggs queue and *POP,* almost with an enthusiasm that would suggest a confetti shower was about to take place, I was greeted with the most excited, the most loving and lively show of,

‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! The birthday fairies have bought you your coffee this morning!!!’

‘What!!?? Who?’ I suddenly woke up!! It’s like a rush of excitement had burst into my bubble of *rough.*

‘Honestly! They’ve bought your coffee for you!’

I was so happy, I literally screeched out loud, jumped up and down so much that I broke a fucking nail, grabbed my coffee, after stirring in 42 sugars and dashed (but this time went fast) back to the office!

You see, with me it’s the small touches, that make my heart melt. I mean, how thoughtful! It literally radiated my sorry ass, kitten soul with this buzz of utter love!

I burst through the door with the bounce of fun and gratefulness with,

‘Oh my GOD! Thank you! Thank you’S!’

And from that point onward, the day…even though I was hollering life and work on TWO HOURS sleep (but at least I got there, at least I worked it all) was THE BEST Birthday work day I could’ve ever had and simply because I surrounded by the most thoughtful humans in all of the land. I couldn’t ever wish to work with better souls, who literally went out of the way just to keep my birthday going and to show me that they cared…and they didn’t have to! I pretty much spend 350 of my 365 days with these girls, so even though we’re a team of hard working ‘business’ chicks, there is so much love between us, that is decorated with banter, laughter and sass! It’s great!

I mean the coffee to me was lovely enough, as I felt like I needed to be ‘babied,’ but we all also went on a big lunch together to celebrate birthday times and our hard work over the year. Got back and I saw ‘Hot Sarah’ and ‘The Mighty’ fiddling around my desk. We don’t like people fiddling with our desks! Lol.

They spotted me from the glass window on the door and I’m now pulling an angry ‘what are you doing at my desk’ face…But then I looked harder and I could see Flowers! FLOWERS! Yes! The most beautiful giant bouquet of orange and yellow blooms with a giant ‘Happy Birthday’ balloon suspended in the air from  them! Awwww!

I actually could not believe my eyes!!!!

My face changed from ‘scowl’ to a happy, opened mouthed, still in the window, *shocked* face, as I darted through the door, screaming with a mad excitement and towards my desk!!!

And that wasn’t all!

GET to my desk and it is COVERED in giant purple, ‘BIRTHDAY PRINCESS’ banners, literally ALL over, like a celebratory madness of fun! My huge flowers are at my desk! There’s a massive ‘Birthday Girl’ badge for me to wear, the most glamourous, shiny gold bottle of Prosecco stood at computer, a  3 pack of Desperados, which if you didn’t know is one of my favourite ‘chill out’ drinks lol, a card that had been signed by every single one of them and to top it ALL OFF, AN ACTUAL BIRTHDAY CAKE, with Mini Wunna’s on it! Yes! A cake with my face on!!! It had my fucking FACE ON IT! As if they went to that much trouble!!! It was just so perfect! It was just so ME and ALL my favourite girly things in one!!! I literally couldn’t contain myself! There was screeches and this constant smiley face that beamed from my little kitty soul! 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

I will never ever forget how thoughtful they all were. It made my entire year because you can go out and party and do all the fancy shindigs, but nothing is better than those real life moments, where you’re surrounded by just GREAT people, awesome humans, who you love, respect, who know you better than anyone and who you work alongside, every day, to achieve some kind of great future together!!!

The cake was lit with candles and huge glamourous fountain sparklers were bursting from either side and as I looked around me, as they all laughed and sang ‘Happy Birtgday’ at me, I felt like the single most happiest girl in the entire world.

(Thank you so much!!)

I couldn’t possibly explain to you how wonderful I felt, as the energy of it all was just overwhelming.

But how lucky am I to have turned 36 with such joy! My friends, my family, the fun! Even all the messages and posts you all left me on my profiles! I’ll  flashback to it one day and do a little happy cry! As everyone has made turning 36 so Wunnaful!!!

Here are two pics of My office treats!! It completely made my birthday week an absolute gem!!  image image

I slept well that night!!!

Roll on the new year! Happy being 36 to meeee!!!

However, no rest for the wicked as BOOM tonight I’m at The Official Ms. Swimwear UK Xmas Party, to blog all about it. It’s a celeb packed event. I can’t wait to tell you all about it and we’ll I don’t have to titter very far, as the big flashy ‘doo daa’ is happening at Oracle Bar, Leeds!

Right in my doorstep!!

See you there! (I’ll be Tweeting and Facebooking as soon as I get there this evening! ‘ )

Life has completely changed for me and I’m in the UP! I’m actually starting to feel like the real life Carrie Bradshaw now! Lol. Yet, we all know I’m a little more ‘Samantha!’ 😉

Thank you so much for everything!!!

Something tells me I’m going to have a really great 2017! I can feel it in my glittery bones!! 🙌🏽