Boodee, House of Lily & 3 Pumps For You Sir!

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Me: ‘We’ve all got knickers, as in pants on right?’

Cece: ‘Yeah. I’ve definitely got pants on. We’ve all got pants on…She hasn’t though…(Points at girl.) I mean, we’re old. They’re young and don’t where pants. But there was a young girl, who I was fitting, who clearly said she had spanx on.’

Rocker Lily: ‘I’ve got pants on.’

ALL GOOD! SAFETY FIRST!

Now, before I get into all that, as you ALL know that I was at the Boodee Boutique,Influencers Brunch’ on Sunday, at ‘Cuckoo’ in Leeds. My ‘socials’ and inboxes are going CRAZY CRACKERS over it.

I’ve never ever been to ‘Cuckoo’ in my life and I’m known for socialiting cocktail bars like a champion. It’s absolutely new, a tremendous find and it drips with a chilled out, bouji swirl of swag. It’s… COOL. It’s alive. It’s stylish, glamourous, yet not remotely pretentious and you get a free flipping pizza with your drink!

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Bartender: ‘Are you wanting the free pizza..?’

Me: ‘Noo, course not. I’m fine. Lol.

Bartender: ‘I didn’t think so, somehow. 😉 ‘

There’s just a vibe in that place… and ‘old school/new school’ vibe and if you were a child of the 80’s/90’s you will find the music deliciously swag. I ‘Pon De Replayed’ it…. like I WAS….. RIHANNA. (Don’t hate. You could’ve *swiggled it* too. In fact, Hit *play* to feel like you were there with me. See! Aren’t I nice to you! 😉 )

But let me take you back…The train into Leeds, was the busiest ‘Bank Holiday’ train of madness ever. It was filled with young gaggles of party boys, older couples, girls and a group of posh Geordies. (I’ve decided that Geordies are everywhere.)

I had begun the day feeling like a bit of a plonker, as it was early Sunday morning and I was strutting around life, petrol stations, Xscape, wine bars and Platform 2’s in a GIANT fluffy PINK faux fur, diamante heels, necklace and head to toe in PINK & WHITE.

I knew, I either looked marvellous or ridiculous because everyone was staring at me…constantly….and so much to the point that I’d started to feel moderately insecure. Lol. That’s why I had a wine, in the nearest bar, which was The Winter Seam, before my train. The problem with me is that I’ll feel ‘all the eyes.’ which it will make me very aware of my existence…It’ll then make me feel a bit ‘wibbly.’ but you would NEVER EVER know because I will strut into a place, IN MY GIANT PINK FAUX FUR, like i’m P.Diddy. (In fact, if Paris Hilton, Ru Paul, P.Diddy had a threesome, and did it whilst eating a bag of prawn crackers…THAT’S what I looked like. 🙂 )

Luckily, I looked less like a dickhead 3 minutes afterwards, because guys in budget  ‘Stag Do’ Hawaiian shirts began drizzling in…and then even they were *trumped* by the casual floral dress  ‘rocker’ lady with the bright blue hair. Then another Geordie appeared out of nowhere, said I was ‘stunning‘ and asked me where I was headed? (Told you, they’re everywhere. They’ve infiltrated Yorkshire. They’ve infiltrated Leeds.)

Me: ‘I’m off to a brunch in Leeds. I’m not just dressed like this for a fry up. Honest…’

He then asked me for my number, after he smirked at my obviously wonderful banter. 😉 So, I did that ‘Chrissie Wunna’ charm face, where I just smile, shrug, slide off my bar stool and laugh it off, like it hasn’t been said, as I giggle out the door.

Next minute I was in Leeds city centre. It was filled with bustle and I didn’t feel as strange anymore as EVERYONE  was dolled up to the heavens and back.

I diamante strutted down the side of the train station, to Call Lane, through busy city streets, car parks, alley ways, puddles, gave a homeless person a light and past a ton of young 20 somethings who were galloping around with excitement….I kinda felt like The Queen of all Leeds, at that point.  Then I walked past ‘Mission’ which reminded me that Zanetti was doing better than Me.

37, Call Lane. I was at ‘Cuckoo.’ The street seemed so quiet, so I carefully tinkered through the door and..

OH MY GOD….

*Camera Flashes, Music, Balloons, Cocktails, Skimpy Dresses, Highest Heels, Giggles, Laughter, Lip Gloss, Selfie Stations, Madness…*

It looked like the most marvellous place on Earth. Literally a Glamour Pusses DREAM. Firstly, it was filled to the brim with the most ‘dolled up‘ beautiful young girls, you will have ever seen in your life…and secondly, as I told you early, the most glamourously ‘cool’ buzz *fast swirled* through that entire place, like wildfire. (And I was only downstairs at first.)

A huge floral wall by ‘Orla Flora’ greeted you….(they’re really IN right now, aren’t they and taking the place of the ‘Media Board’ for a while.) If you have no clue, what I’m on about…. it’s  basically a huge wall made up of flowers, that you picture by, at events…Any event…Weddings, Parties…Whatever….and I LOVE THEM. (I didn’t have my picture taken by the floral wall, whist I was there, because I was too busy drinking and being on the phone to my friend, but I did notice how strikingly beautiful it was.) 

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GIANT PINK bespoke printed balloons (by Instagram @balloonroomx) filled the room, as young influencers and hopeful future influencers selfied, pictured and pouted by them for content..

The balloons were actually really cute, because they were giant and pink, with the words,

‘YOU DO YOU BOO’

..printed upon them.

It was just ace…

So, let me just fill you in. I appeared at the BOODEE BOUTIQUE, ‘Influencers Brunch,’ which is a glamourous afternoon networking event, for all those who are wanting to be ‘Insta Famous,’ an Influencer, a Blogger, Vlogger, those who want to start building their own business or empire, or those who already have….Well, it was a brunch for chicas of that sort…as they could all meet each other, network and at the same time go around the stalls set up by companies & brands (who are currently looking for influencers to promote their lines) and go make themselves known. Pretty much all the brands where looking for ‘the new face of…’ so they were scouting and casting through the crowds of girls. It was dripped in cocktail magic and the dress code was ‘pink & white.’ (And everything about this business, or any business is about MEETING PEOPLE. It is networking.)

Got it?

Cece: ‘Hi, have you been upstairs yet? I saw you walk in. You stuck out like a sore thumb. Here’s a card for House Of Lily. I was just seeing if you wanted to come upstairs and try some of our clothes for pictures….We’re casting for the new face…’

I’m like stood in my pink faux fur, guzzling wine and texting…But there was just something about ‘Cece’ that I loved. It was the fun in her eyes…So I took the card and she disappeared into the crowds.

Then little Baby Doll ‘Charlie C’ (instagram @charliecaitlyn) caught eyes with me and dashed up, with hugs and smiles…(She is as cute as a button and kinda hot as hell.) She pretty much thanked me for coming and within seconds has *whizzed* me upstairs to go and meet everyone….

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Charlie C: ‘I need you to meet Lisa…’

Me: ‘OH! HI! IT’S GREAT TO MEET YOU..’

Charlie C: ‘No…That’s not Lisa…That’s…’

Me: ‘Oh sorry. Hahaha. Nice to meet you anyway…

(We were literally hand in hand, rushing through the crowds of girls….)

Charlie C: ‘Chrissie. Wait here. I need to grab you a candle. It’s a bloggers candle…and you have a gift bag…Here! Take that!….Oh! That’s Lisa…’

Me: ‘Have I just met her downstairs?’

‘Charlie C’ was one of the girls running the event. She’s young, beautiful, Leeds and bubbly and was dashing about like some kind of stunning ‘headless’ chica of ‘ooh laa.’ She did REALLY WELL, as that event was DIVINE. To the point where I even stopped her at the end…to see if she’d throw me an event..

That girl is so young, but so good at what she does..She is the future Queen of Party Leeds.

Anyway, I felt like a glamourous Veteran at the Boodee event, as everyone around me was so young, I’d say from 18 upwards…There were SO MANY GIRLS, all done up and brimming with hopefulness and it was made me realise how many young people in this actual day and age want to be ‘Influencers.’ It’s the new dream job. I can’t believe how competitive it was, well IS and the girls were every INCH stunning.

They were immaculate.

I agree, that they’re all under really great pressure and I can see the pressure on their faces and I agree that it’s such a hard time for them to grow up in, with everything seeming so ‘social media’ perfect. Their stars and inspirations are the popular bloggers, vloggers and Instagrammers of today. And I feel like, they feel as though, they have a lot to try and accomplish, to get to where they want to be. I’m sure it makes them feel insecure, yet it’s the CONFIDENT ONES that smash through the barriers.

(And I can pick those girls right out of a crowd.)

Yet, the thing that made me smile was the fact that RIGHT NOW, INT HIS TIME, being a BLOGGER/Influencer is such a THING.’ When I started my blog 10 years ago in Hollywood...NOT A SINGLE SOUL was blogging, or giving any shits about blogging…People were making FUN OF for writing an online diary….

NOW! It’s one of the MOST LUCRATIVE CAREERS you can have! (IN YOUR FACE!) So firstly, I’m lucky because I accidentally built by blog up over 10 years, so didn’t really have to start from scratch..I did it all the way through my modeling & tv career…Secondly, I’m old….and so to be smashing it about ‘socially’ at 37 is huge, because you just wouldn’t have thought it could happen. But it has.

Anyway, whenever I go to an event, I do the room scan, I chat to everyone I want, I try to meet everyone and then whilst drinking all the cocktails, in all the land, I’ll then just do what I want. 🙂

Me: ‘I kinda just wanna get pissed now..’

I found Lisa, the owner of ‘House Of Lily.’ She was casting for the new faces of her brand. They had a shoot set organised for the girls, who were choosing something to try on, being fitted into it and then being photographed.

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I loved watching the girls, because it reminded me of being young at model casting days. It was far less glam though and I never heard this:

House of Lily: ‘Make sure the girls are tucking their tops in properly…I don’t want any boobs out…’

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I looked through all of ‘House Of Lily’s’ pieces and they were absolutely beautiful. She’s so talented. I mean, tweed fitted jackets, stunning long sequin dresses, patterned jump suits, see through lace Pussy bow blouses….Each piece was so special and so unique…I was in love!  There is so much that is just SO ME from that brand. I’m gonna meet up with Lisa again and take a look through everything properly with her personally, because her line is remarkable and at an event, it’s really difficult after prosecco.

From that point….my afternoon changed. I don’t know what happened, but I kinda brought the *jiggy* (like I do, I mean lets face it, i’m a chip off the ‘Hilton’ brand, I’ve been raised to ‘party’ and do it fucking well.

Me: ‘I need to drink my body weight in wine..’

Rocker Lils: ‘Shall we get sambuca shots.’

Cece: Chrissie, get in an outfit and picture with it please.’

Me: ‘I honestly can’t be bothered to take ALL OF MY CLOTHES OFF at 37, to put them all back on again right now.’

Then fresh wine was poured and our beautiful cup caked, lily vased, booth…turned into a party. 🙂

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So, I basically ‘lowered the tone…’ glamourously of course! Lol.

Me: ‘We’ve all got knickers or pants on right?’

Cece: ‘Yeah. I’ve definitely got pants on.

I ‘d already decided to ‘get comfy,’ at this point, because I loved the girls. I started drinking, and dancing in the booth, and multi tasked it with selfie and videoing taking for my insta/facebook.snapchat stories. ‘PR Lauren’ sat pissing herself at me, in awe. (I went with ‘awe,’ but she was again either staring at me like I was amazing or nuts? You decide.) We might have had a ‘pose off’ also for selfies.

Cece: ‘Look at you. Please tell me it’s real! You have some life. I want it. I want you meet my daughter.’

(She has the most eye catching mixed raced daughter, who floors it in the beauty stakes. I saw a picture of her on her phone and I was blown away.)

Cece: So, you’ve done Playboy….Have you been to mansion and met Hefner?’

Me: ‘Yeah course. Gosh. I wasn’t a *girlfriend,* I modelled for the brand, which is really different…As the *girlfriends* had to pump him. Lol. I think it was something like *3 pumps* and then the next one?

Cece: ‘Hahaha. There’s me thinking he was some kind of Don, when he could only manage 3 pumps and you’re off.’

Me: ‘Well he’s old int’ he and he has to have them ALL pump him, one at a time and watch…I’m sure they were fine with it, it’s only 3 pumps and a weekly allowance. Hahahaha! It was like a grand a week or something.’

Cece: ‘Y’see, I don’t hate on them at ALL for that. A girl’ll do what a girl will do. I’d 3 pump him for that.

Me: ‘Lol. Me too. I just didn’t have the opportunity too. ‘

Cece: ‘Would you?’

Rocker Lils: ‘Noooo, I couldn’t.’

PR Lauren: *BLUSHES*…I don’t know if…’

Rocker Lils: ‘Actually, now I think about it, I might… I’d do more than 3 pumps though. I’m gonna with yeah…

Me: ‘You’d end up bloody married to him!’

And that was the tone of the rest of the evening. It was THE BEST…WE WERE IN FITS OF LAUGHTER and we’re all Yorkshire, so we’re properly down to Earth, don’t care, say whatever we want kinda gals and it’s amazing!

House of Lily: ‘We might have found the girl/girls for the brand….There was one girl that I can’t find…Go find her Cece…’

Cece: ‘Go find her! You go find her. I don’t know what she looks like or where she’s chuffing gone. It’s packed in here. Lol.’

I just LOVE northern bits of tinker…because if I was in LA I would’ve heard…

‘Honey, can you go get me that gurl already.’

If I was in London… They would’ve have been ‘darling darling’ posh.

In Yorkshire, they’re like..

‘For chuffs sake…’

…and I love it.

Literally the most amazing afternoon brunch of wild girly madness….swirled in a fantasy red lighting, with unicorn balloons and giant carousel decor surrounding me.

All the girls that day looked amazing and the all did so fantastically. Well, I hope they did. I hoped they networked well.

I WILL SAY HOWEVER, that I did notice that even though the girls were immaculately beautiful, a lot of the girls did look ‘samey.’ (I actually got told off for saying that out loud. Lol)

Me: They all look the same. I’m trying to scan through the crowd for something different or someone who tries to POP OUT.’ They look the same, but they’re all different girls? And they’re wearing the same…

Cece: ‘It’s a bloody themed dress code you idiot.’

I’m a personality girl and yes, the glam thing always works, it’s part of the job. I do it at 37 and i’ve done it all the way through my teens until now. And being in LA at the time, we took it to the next level. Yet, through that crowd of girls, there needed to be a ballsy, sassy, ‘stand out’ girl, who strutted in, didn’t care what anyone thought, looked amazing, was of great character and someone who was just unforgettable. Someone who oozed so much confidence that she OWNED THAT ENTIRE ROOM…Someone who you spoke to and was completely and utterly taken by!

A STAR! (‘Types’ SMASH IT.)

I did actually see one, but I can’t tell you who… (No, it wasn’t me, you twats…Lol.)

Great night. Ended up going to Gino’s for a quick wine, which was filled with Italian waiters and a suited party of gents who were all talking about boring things like football and how much they reckoned Rugby players got paid. (I watched them and ate pink wafers out my goody bag.)

Got the train home. Slept through my stop. Absolutely fucking nightmare. (A little lovely Geordie lady nudged me away with a ‘Petal’ and I shocked up with a ‘OH SHIT!!!’ She just smiled and like a Guardian Angel solved all my life problems…Told you, they’re everywhere.)

I ended up having to walk for ages, in my giant pink faux fur and as soon as I got home, I collapsed in a heap on my bed.

Hope you had a phenomenal Easter! Thank you for following my life. Thank you for following my ‘socials.’

Two days and I fly to Spain.

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Love, Gin & Learning Things The Hard Way

I had gin last night, after watching the back of a bald man’s head for a while, during the afternoon, during a moment of ‘by myself’ chill. (I love a ‘by myself’ chill.) Not sure why I was so mesmerized by the back of his really bald head? I just like the way it folded and wiggled whenever I looked up, from Googling myself. 😉 Went well with a rhubarb gin and tonic…It sort of added humour and stability to a moderately emotional time. 🙂

Yesterday was both busy and chilled. I had an amazing time with Ruby & Junior, we played, we lunched, we loved. I knew that Junior had a great day, simply because whenever he does and I lay him to sleep at night, he always wraps himself around me, cuddles me in bed and whispers…

‘I love you mum. I love you so much.’

(I’ve trained him well. 😉  Hair toss, wink.)

Love matters to me. Love matters to me massively. It does to everyone, even when they don’t believe it does. It’s weird because i’m always confident when it comes to love and i’m really comfortable in my own glitzy skin….Yet, I crave love, but only the true kind, so when it comes along, I always want to treasure it and save it forever.

Some people see that as lame.  I see it as beautiful.

Gin was great last night. I managed to have chitters with my old school friend Kate who switched us to wine. Yet, the reason why it was all so great was because after such a great day, I really really thought about everything. I’m a passionate girl, but an expressive one and sometimes I don’t express as well I should. I get scared to, And no one should feel scared to express. It’s our life, we have one shot…and we’ve got to do it boldy.

So, I expressed yesterday evening, after a really great day, after a couple of good gin and tonics and really chilled times and the thing about my expression was that it was true, it was honest, it was loving, but most of all, it was Me. When it comes to ‘things’ or situations…and when something matters to you deeply, i always think that it’s really important that you’re able to just say how you feel and when you do, whether it’s been listened to or not (and usually if you’re honest, people DO listen) you feel liberated. I felt liberated and today as I woke up and look down at my phone everything felt like bliss. I felt like I had a best friend, who just gets it.

It made me really productive actually. I’m powered my humour, good times and true love. That’s where i get my energy from..and tequila. (Loved the West Hollywood Tequila dance that I used to do probably about 10 years ago now. Hate that I cried afterward because this dude named Ryan didn’t care about me. But loved that drag queen carried me home, like i was a Queen. Lol)

But yes, i’ve got a lot of things going on in work and it’s making me pretend that the little niggly things don’t matter. I don’t like the little niggly things. I leave them and they accumulate and then they terrify me because i’ve left myself a mountain to sort through. Like voicemails. I HATE going through my voicemails, unless they’re all ‘good news’ calls. My emails…this morning I had 79,329 to go through, that I had let accumulate. By noon, I had gone through them all…and now my inbox is chilling at 0. YEAH BABY! (This is why I’ve always said that I need to marry a really organised male, one that’s good at the niggly things. The things that demand organisation. Lol. The big things i can conquer with panache and glamourousity. I’m ace at the big things. I’ve been married three time and people always always message me asking me about my love life. The most common question from women, that I receive weekly is one that asks me if i would ever marry again. And GOD, ABSOLUTELY. But only if the guy was RIGHT! I’m not just gonna high kick gleefully down the isle to anyone. Lol. (I’ve done that before. 😉 )

I believe in love (i’m a sucker for it) and yeah, I’ve shared some interesting chapters, that didn’t quite fit. Yet it doesn’t EVER make me feel as though I couldn’t do it again. The great thing is, this time, i’ll get it right. I’m not someone who doesn’t KNOW what I want or what i’m looking or. That’s sexy in itself. I tend to learn the hard way, which to me, is always the BEST way. Nothing like a bit of good old raw experience. Beats the ‘Once Upon Time’ books.

(My good friend Inadequate Chris is just messaging. Remember weeks ago, before I did Ginos, i wrote a blog about his love life…well I was right. He has just waved ‘good bye’ to a 9 year relationship, that maybe wasn’t right anymore for both parties and well, it’s been tough, but he is happily moving forward. Y’see, to me, that 9 years was simply a young chapter and it’s what you do when you’re a grown up that makes impact, because as grown ups, we think wisely and know how to love properly. There’s a stability to us oldies. It great. It’s sexy. Nine years isn’t that long when you have a hopeful 100 years to do love in. Yes, we all hope to get it right the first time, but if you haven’t and in the past I haven’t….obviously….I’ve been hilarious and half of you have followed it through the decades. Do know that it’s right around the corner and that guy or that girl who makes you feel utterly COMPLETE…will find you and adore you…forever. )

But away from my preachy keeness, WUNNA LAND is WONDERFUL right now. I’m working hard, i’m making things happen, i’m feeling really lucky and really positive. All areas are fantastic. I even have to pinch myself to believe it’s true. It’s almost like a dysfunctional Cinderella Story. There’s a lot going on and yes, as always with work, i’m unable to wink it out there, until it’s time. However, it kinda feels like i’m BACK. (Well en route anyway, my Uber must have been delayed. 🙂 )

In sat in the Mallard in Doncaster blogging this…and two lesbians are talking about dildos infront of their children. Lol. I’m also looking at a picture of Jeremy Clarkson, because they have framed photos of people who grew up in Doncaster, who became stars…On and cycling is on the telly.

I’m off now to do a prosecco and buy hair.

FILL UP ON GOOD TIMES….

Love you,

Chrissie x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When Fishermens Friends Get Sexy?

David: ‘But have you had anyone ever go down on you with a Fisherman’s Friend in their mouth?’

We all just paused and looked at him with dolly shocked faces! One minute we were talking about girl shit and diets and the next minute our guy friend, who my chick friends and I refer to as our ‘Man bitch’ (he loves it, don’t worry,) flies out with a ‘whoop..dee.’

Me: ‘Eww no. Lol.’

David: ‘It’s meant to feel really good. Make it tingle. I’ve done it on a girl but with a Halls Soother.’

Mel: ‘That sounds like it would hurt.’

Fairytale Blond: ‘What if it got stuck in?’

Double B: ‘HAHAHAHA.’

I feel sorry for whoever his Hall Soother victim was. You poor girl. This goes to show how selfish boys can be. Lol. He would have healed his own sore throat and in the meantime given her a sore…£$&$£* (I’ll let you be creative here and fill in the blanks.) Try it! Blame him if it goes wrong.

Fairytale: ‘Hey up! We’ve actually got some Fisherman’s Friends in the drawer. Lol. Take some with you David!’

But anyway, away from all that. I’ve had a great week, but a dramatic week and mainly because I’ve been flirting with my hormones, ( love being a girl.) A lot of snazzy little changes and unforeseen developments have occurred in Wunna land. Great changes, nothing crazy or evil. Yet, they kinda got ‘paint balled’ at me from a good shot, from the skies and being a girl who wears her heart on her sleeve, let’s just say… it’s been an ‘adventure.’ (I’ve got on with it boldy with a kitten stride of DIVA and a wiggly giggle…But it feels really good that all has settled now. I’m happy as can be and i’m smiling with excitement, whilst doing *can can* high kicks to Little Mix tracks.

Now, I’m good with changes, I meander them well and glamourously…with sex appeal. YET, this week, i’ve been in a swirl of magical emotion, that has made my little heart beam. It followed up with a SHOCK…and the reason i didn’t blog during that time was because I now refuse to write a blog until I have a clear head. Lol. Whereas before, I’d GO FOR IT REGARDLESS. I’d be brimming over with passion and i’d let that boat sail! But now, I’m officially a grown up now, a hot one. Lol. I’m officially making awesome decisions. Hot ones.

But I have a great support system, as I did need to have a big bestie VENT to ‘Firmonnell,’ because I knew that she was the chick friend who could balance me out and make me see things through rational, positive wine sips. And she did! I don’t know how she does it! Thank GOD for her and her Slimming World Self.

My Baby Cousin Natalia came up from London to spend her birthday with me and the family, armed with her boyfriend Matt. Such a great couple, such great times dining out…such wonderful awkward moments where ruby took it upon herself to force marriage upon them.

Ruby: ‘So, why are you two not married yet?’

Natalia: ‘He has to buy me a BIG sparkly RING before that happens Ruby.’

We’ve eaten everywhere. We’ve hit up some great spots. The service everywhere has been fantastic and I loved snuggling back up into my Flamingo sheets, after mojitos and messaging ‘nighty nights’ to a pretty amazing human. There might have been a selfie too. 😉

Shit, I  was going to tell you something about ‘Double B,’ but I can’t remember what the hell it was now? FUCK!

It’ll come to me? She’s all glam squad right now. All blond extensions and lip pumps. I’m loving it, because I am a chica who adores a bit of the same. I LOVE GLAMOUROUSITY. Yet, being Northern, we’re ace with it, as we don’t have rubbish sense of humours. I am the kitty queen of good times and banter winks. People think i’ll be all high maintenance and sassy…and I can be…LOL…yet most of the time i’m chilled…however, dazzled in fun.

‘Double B’ will just come out with THE MOST RANDOM bits of aceness…

‘Honestly, Chrissie. When does that point come when people just get fucking old and decide to go nuts. Literally, when is that point when they turn into a granny and just say… HEY…i’m going to be a bit mental now???’

Anyway, i’ve got to go. I’m in Doncaster all day today. I’m also popping into Malmaison Leeds later, for a business chatter. I love a hotel blog. I also adore their ‘Rock n Roll Suite.

I have a lot of exciting work stuff happening. I’ve been shooting…as in photo shooting. I’ve been auditioning and I’ve filmed a bit. I’ve promised myself that every day this week I AM GOING TO WRITE A BLOG.

Hope you have an amazing weekend!

Hope you stay away from Fishermen’s Friends.

 

 

 

 

 

Is Everyone on Holiday & Willies?

Everyone is DEFINITELY on a *sunny sunny* holiday BUT ME! I’m in this place, that my rather glamourous chick friends and I have labelled ‘B City.’ It’s a terrible place (lol) of hard work, panic and now, now, now. It’s almost like running really fast on a treadmill, whilst people throw things at you, in heels…and without thre being some kind of glorified result at the end of it. Hahah! ‘B City’ JUST KEEPS GOING! It’s hilarious! *Selfie Here.*

I am certainly sure that I should be bobbing around with boobies, in a pool, on some inflatable flamingo lilo, with a fruity cocktail in my hand, sunglasses and as the blistering exotic sun beams down upon my kitty soul, to the peaceful sound of holiday.

But no..I’m working solid…in ‘B City’ without a paddle but a smile on my face. I mean, look on the bright side. I might not be sunning it up…and yes I am bitter about that. But at least I got to talk about willies for a good 4.2 minutes with ‘Hustle Barbie’ before six o clock.

‘I don’t like small willies.’

‘You can’t marry someone who has a small willy…’

‘But what if they do have a small willy, or are shit at sex?’

‘Well, I’m not 17. I’m thirty six, with a raging libido. Hahaha. I need to see the willy before I commit to doing forever…’

We smiles. We piss ourselves laughing. Life went on.

‘Cya!’

‘Bye!’

‘I’ve a great holiday!’

I adore girl banter. Maybe we girls should pay more attention to the hideous amount of ‘dick pics’ that litter out inbox? I always thought they were a nuisance. They ARE a massive nuisance and i’m an an open minded girl. But it’s only because i’ll be trying to email out a business plan and then some random stranger from Barnsley or wherever, will decide that i need to see his willy inbetween it all. I will have no clue who this human is…yet in his world ‘Chrissie Wunna’ needs to see a picture of his genitals. I really don’t. Yet, if I was smart, I would’ve used them for market research and created some ‘match your soul to the perfect willy’ dating app, for girls. 🙂

I will say that due to my *stamp* of what seems like forever, to the point where I might need to begin choosing the cats that i’m going to order when i’m a lonely 80 year old bat 😉  and still single in a cocktail bar because nobody can be bothered to adore me (do note, I’m only being dramatic, I’m still in a swirl) ….AND the fact that social media fame is labeling me as some kind of ‘eligible bachelorette.’ (Such a catch. 🙂 ) Anyway, all these dating sites are trying to get me to be the face of their ‘dating app’ campaign.

Now, I’m not an online dating fan. I say it all the time. I’ve done specific interviews on how much i dislike the process and I don’t mean when it comes to  chat. I’ve said it’s a great way to find people and get to know someone. Yet I dislike the whole ‘otherside’ to the Tinder/Happn bullshit.

I’m too old for it and unconventionally traditional when it comes to  ‘boy meets girl’ and they fall in love. I don’t wanna see or hear a ‘swipe right.’ It’s dull and robotic. I want that real ‘Knight in shining armour’ love that sweeps me off my feet uncontrollably, that poets have written about for centuries. (Wow. I am dramatic this morning.)

Can’t remember what I was on about now? Lol

Oh yeah…It’s just weird that so many Dating Sites are trying to hustle into Wunna Land with pay cheques and potential deals.Do notice that I haven’t done one yet! Meaning, that I do only chose to do the things that I ADORE. I won’t just sign up to whatever shit for a fee and a smile…but mainly because i’m so busy at work, wallowing in the art of ‘B City’ and with juggling life, that right now, I only have time for the things that I adore. If i said yes to everything…i’d probably be really rich and..well dead. Lol.

WHEN IS IT THE WEEKEND! UGH!

But no. When i have the opportunity to fit it all in. I will. 😉

So yes, as some of my chick friends…Oh and Webbo… head off to exotic lands, sunny sands, sunbathy diaries, filled with cocktailed nights of chill and good memories…I am still here…not on a flamingo lilo.

*Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa*

Have fun! Happy Wednesday!

Ps: Yesterday I learnt that some boys are bitchy. When did boys turn so Queeny? You’re dudes. Be men. Adore the girls that you’ve chosen to adore and do life your way. I heard loads of boys hating on other boys yesterday and it sounded really really…GIRLY. Don’t do it. Girls talk openly because we’re emotional and need that release. Women (and now i’m old, i’m a a total woman now) well we talk when it’s smart to…as we never feel insecure enough to hate. We’re grown. That’s the difference between boys and men, I guess also?

UK BLOG AWARDS THIS MONTH!

In November, I was nominated for the UK Blog Awards, which is the official National Award Ceremony for UK Bloggers & Vloggers of all tips, types and categories. It’s a big glammy events that recognizes the nation’s best blogging talent….and yeah, ofcourse…That was enough for me to make me smile.

In December of last year, a shortlist went out, announcing the blogs/bloggers who had been nominated in their particular categories…I made the shortlist…I was over the moon…at that alone.

Then for 2 little weeks before Christmas…The shortlisted blogs were open to a PUBLIC VOTE where YOU could Vote for YOUR FAVOURITE BLOG or  BLOGGER.

Over 95,000 Votes were cast. (Crazy I know!)

Then like i wasn’t shocked enough…Those 95,000 Public Votes, ranked CHRISSIEWUNNA.COM...Yeah..ME in the TOP 8 ‘MOST VOTED FOR BLOGS’ in my category. (I even made the event it’self TREND on Twitter! WTF!)

I KNOW!! Lol. AS IF! 

(And I AM distinctly surprised. Do not think that I’m not in absolute ‘WHATNESS?’ You can ask my chick friends, I believed it because it was true 🙂 , but couldn’t believe it all at the same time.)

Long story short…

In February a panel of judges followed the chosen/shortlisted blogs throughout February. I forgot about that time! UGH! But was alerted when they had tweeted out that the judges had come up with their WINNERS and this included the blogs that had also been put through (Yes mine…As If…I Know) to win the Odeon Cinema ‘Content of the Year’ Awards!! Crazy!

So all I want to say right now, because it’s all out of my hands and I think i’m just so happy anyway, with my achievement with the Uk Blog Awards so far…There’s a lot going on in Wunna Land because of the accidental success of this blog. This year has been filled with ‘Dreams Come True’ and it hasn’t even started yet. I’m having to *pinch* myself at every point.

But I just wanted to say ‘Thank you..’ and I don’t mean that in a ‘Very Markety’ Thank You kinda way. I’m not like that. I’m the most straight forward, glamour puss you’ll ever meet. I’m not run by a Brand Manager. There’s no script. I’m just me…my life….my friends…my family…my world.

When i say ‘Thank you’ I mean it sincerely from the bottom of my heart.

Thank you….for reading my blog, following my life, checking in when you can, being a part of it all, appearing in Wunna land, voting if you did, offering to work along side me…all sorts… and yeah I write it and yeah…I must do it well. 🙂 *Wink*

But honestly, if you didn’t read it…no matter where you are in the world, there’s no way i’d be being hailed with a Cyber Crown. Thank you! It means a lot to me. I’m being called an ‘Overnight Success’ and there’s very big ‘tag lines’ attached to my name socially…

‘UK’s Carrie Bradshaw.’

‘Cyberlands Biggest Inspiration.’

‘Social Media’s Newest IT Girl.’

‘The Queen of Social Girl Power.’

SO, on Friday April 21st, I’m headed down to London. I actually have a meeting at around 1pm with a company and then that evening I’ll be all dolled up…as it’s quite a glamourous affair 🙂 …and I’ll be headed to the UK Blog Awards.

I KNOW, that I won’t win the award. I know that. I want to win it, very much so. But I know that I won’t…and I don’t expect to, as I obviously don’t have the kind of ‘squeaky clean’ content that wins public trophies. 🙂 LOL.

But I’m utterly honoured and well I always say, you kinda never know what’s going to happen? I could walk away with trophies! I could just get drunk and enjoy the night.

I stand by my content whole heartedly, because it’s the story of my actual flipping LIFE. Lol. It’s real. It’s raw at times. It can be a bit sweary, a bit naughty, very glammy…or just normal…but it really is what happens on a daily. And yes, it’s being seen as a modern twist for brands to come to market…

Yet essentially, it just started off 10 years ago, when DK the Barrista told me to start a blog on Myspace in that coffee shop in LA…I told him to ‘get fucked.‘ 🙂

But I obviously did it anyway….

 

 

Every Second Counts….

So, there I was on Sunday evening, about to fly off an email to Social Chain and JUST BEFORE I hit *send*….almost on some weird *cue* my phone *winks* at me with a Twitter DM.

Now, I’m on my phone a lot, yet when i’m working or blogging, I sort of ignore it and check it occasionally, because as right now, it’s kinda like a revolving digital, never ending, screen fountain of Instagram picture ‘likes,’ Twitter ‘favourites’….Messenger notifications..You know the score…

Anyway, at this precise moment, before I hit *send,* I just so happened to look to my right, down at my phone. It was laid on my bed next to me. I had Juvenile ‘Slow Motion’ playing in the background and I was sat in my bra, wishing that I didn’t EAT my way through February…and with a…

‘Hi Chrissie,

Just came across the work you’re doing! Love it.. You in London much…Let’s set up a date for you to come over to the Yourfeed offices in London..Drop me a note and we can set up…I’ll have my executive assistant have a car sorted from the train station to the office for you. Looking forward to it!’

And just like that…another life ‘side street’ was presented to me.  You never know what’s going to happen at any point. I’ve learnt this always through life. Good things. Bad things. All things! I have opportunities coming from everywhere right now. Some are *zapping* in from above at the speed of light, some are some moving like a tango, other’s are friendly and easy going and there are the ones who are to the point, without ‘faff’ and direct. It’s all money, brands, meet me’s and ‘work with me’s.’

I don’t know what’s happening? Yet the Chrissie Wunna glitter train is no longer *chugging* along on steady yet rickety tracks . It’s now being picked up by giants, sprinkled over with opportunity and flown to the stars like magic…fueled by this little thing called hard work. Well I say ‘hard work’…yet it feels like fun. My previous boss once told me to ‘WORK SMART NOT HARD.’ That stuck with me…The idea is to utilize yourself appropriately to make the most impact.

AS IF THIS FLIPPING ONLINE DIARY HAS GOT THIS CRAZY!

I remember being a kid in West Hollywood, walking into that bookstore every morning, on La Cienega and 3rd, talking to DK who made me coffee every morning and telling him about what I’d got up to the night before. He told me to start a blog on Myspace..and i refused to because I didn’t know what one was…Lol. But I did it…and 10 years later…I’m apparently a ‘sensation.’ 🙂

LORD FUCKING KNOWS, HOW I’VE MANAGED IT???

Yet, the great thing about me, even though i’m really aware of all that is ‘going on’ right now in my career…is that i’m STILL just that girl, who started to write an online diary because some dude at a coffee shop told me to.

Right now, i’m taking ALL the opportunities that I can…because it’s really just the beginning. I hope to build an empire. Did I always think it would happen? Honestly…Yes. Did I doubt myself…at times..yeah. But this year is the actual year where in which I have in my hands…I have it here…in my hands..I can feel it..and it’s happened because at the end of last year I began to knuckle down and focus…I spent my last year chasing boys and after selling myself short, realizing that there was a whole career that I wanted to pursue…and that I was wasting time on things that I didn’t really WANT…my mindset changed…I grew 10 feet tall…I hair tossed, I got my *game face* on, I slipped on a sassier set of heels and I fucking WENT FOR IT.

I’ve only knuckled down for about 3 months and so far SO MUCH HAS CHANGED. In six months….it’ll be even better…by the end of the year…even YOU’LL be shocked. Just so you know, I’m always shocked. I mean I stood infront of my chick friends today with an egg sandwich..

‘Ewww….as if you got egg that’s disgusting. You’re disgusting!’

…and with a shake of my head in confusion, in my faux fur, I just looked at them with a…‘I don’t even know how this has all happened’ face?

I feel lucky. Thank you for following my life. Thank you so much!

Everyone’s asking me about the UK Blog Awards. They’re in April. I’m going to them…OBVIOUSLY. Yet not one part of me believes that I will win it. They’ve already picked the winner…and I don’t know…something just feels like it’s not me. Infact, i had a conversation about this with Abeiku Arthur the other day, after getting back from Manchester that time we did Nandos and went for ‘after chicken‘ cocktails.

Big A: ‘You’ll win it.’

Me: ‘I won’t. I know I won’t.’

Big A: ‘I’m going to the Awards y’know. Are you staying over?’

Me: ‘Yeah. You do know that you’ll have to spend your awards evening listening to me BITCH at you repeatedly because I haven’t won. ..and i’ll be dripped in champagne.’

‘Yeah…and I’m fine with it. Lol. You’ll win it.Why don’t you think you will?’

‘Well…because everyone else’s blog is a serious factual, advice type blog…and well mine is just the story of my life…it’s a diary…’

‘That’s why you’ll win it. There’s not many chicks who just write a  diary that people all over the world READ every day…’

‘If I thought I was going to win it…I’d tell you. I’m not like that. I just know I won’t. But I deserve to. 😉 ‘

So, what i’m saying to you all is to hope for the best yet EXPECT nothing…because from what I’ve learnt in life so far, ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN at any point. I’ve almost become immune to under feet ‘rug pulls.’ Embrace changes. Don’t be scared of them. Don’t get stuck in a rut. Look around you…Take a moment to look around you. Do you have everything the way you want it? Is this how you want to spend the next few years of your life? Do you want it to develop? Are you selling yourself short? Obsessing over the wrong things?Are you working your perfect job? In love with the right human? Are you being you? Do you feel AMAZING!!!?!!

If you do ANYTHING tomorrow, I want you to just take that *moment* where in which you *pause* look around you and monitor if you’re living life the way you utterly wish to be…

If you ARE…You’ve nailed it! 🙂

If you’re not…than things can only get better…YOU ARE the driving FORCE behind that change…Commit to it. Go for it! Make your dreams come true! Every second of everyday, someone, somewhere has had a dream come true. Why can’t it be yours?

Okay preach over….

Have rum and splash it in victory winks!

I love you.

Chrissie x