Tom Zanetti, Dwarves & VIP Piggy Backing

It was the maddest ‘good time’ that any human could EVER have experienced, that Saturday night, as the clock struck 11pm, on Heaton’s Court, Club Mission… Leeds.

It was the More & More launch party.

People had travelled far and wide, through cities, over hills, via trains, on road trips. People had ‘donned’ out the most stylish bits of clobber, owned the widest smiles, rocked out the hottest cleavages and committed to a total head mindset of ‘party.’ 

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We wanted a ‘blow out’ and we got one!

Celebrities had tinkered from all the way over, to get there sassy little arses to Leeds that November 11th and why….I’ll tells ya why….To spend the night with our Tom Zanetti!

TEAM THOMAS! (Ya! Bitches!)

Now, Tom has shot out the ‘success cannon’ this year, with his pants on flames and his name in hottest club vibe lights. I’m from Leeds, so i’ve always known who Zanetti is. The only difference now, is that the rest of the world does too!

This is no joke.  He’s smashing it all about and then some. There’s not a single doubt in my glamour pussy mind, that this is ONLY just the beginning for him….But i’ll tell you about Tom later…Let’s take you back to the event…

So I strut up to Mission and it already has queues of guys and girls, all eagerly waiting in line. Chicks trying to catch Toms eye, as he bustled about outside for a few sexy moments. A tv camera crew followed his every move, a pap began taking photos of red carpet arrivals, a luxury car drove up the entrance to drop someone off and, security guards surrounded the entrance galore.

As I walked by the queue, with one of best guy friends Abeiku Arthur, who owns House of Solo Magazine, I heard chicks trying to strategically plan how they were going to sneak their way into the VIP. (I love that! It reminded me of when I was young girl in LA. We’d always try to sneak our way in. It was always hilarious. We’d come up with the maddest ideas. There’s was ‘Just flirt with Tom.’ Genius! Lol.)

Luckily, these days (wait for the ‘trumpet blowing‘…not that kinda ‘trumpet,’ 😉 ) simply because I own Wunna Land, via the fine art of online diary writing, jiggled with a previous modelling career and a juicy telly stint of ‘Best Pal’in’ with Paris Hilton…for ITV2….I don’t have to strategically plan a VIP entrance anymore. I just have to be there on time and grab myself a cocktail…

Abeiku Arthur: ‘Are you even wearing any pants???’

Me: ‘No. You could see them under my dress.’

(He does one of those faces of utter delight. You know the face. The face that your guy friends do when they know you’re not in any pants. *Rolls Eyes.* But honestly, who wears pants to a Tom Zanetti party? )

Me: ‘It’s actually really annoying that it’s windy because I can feel the wind gush all the way up my fluey.’

Abeiku Arthur: ‘Hahaha You’re digusting…Let’s get in there.’

On my walk up from the train station, I bump into Tom, who’s briefly organizing the crowds and he shows me through to the red carpet entrance (kinda gentlemanly, but cool) and just like that, I blink and there I was…swirled in the maddest VIP in all of the goddamn land.

It was absolutely RAMMED. It was busy. And that tells you a lot about Tom, right? Everybody wanted to show up for his night. I mean, when you’re in entertainment, you show up to events… POPULAR events, to SEE and BE SEEN.

Don’t let anybody tell you any different! We all know the score. We all do it.

OR you simply show up in support for the person or place throwing the sassy little shindig.

Like I said, he’s a really popular guy and people just adore him. I have never ever seen (and guuurrrl i have seens) A MORE buzzing VIP room in my LIFE.

I mean, let’s forget about the rest of the club, for now…as that was filling up like the world was about to end and Mission was the only safe sanctuary. But the actual VIP itself was JAM packed with famous sportsmen from Boxers to Rugby players. Hot chicks who spent their Summer on ‘Love Island.’ Charming guys from the Geordiest of Shores. Some who ‘Weekender in Ibiza’ and others who had committed to being a few hard months with ‘Big Brother.’

There were models, musicians, famous social media stars and everyone seemed to recognize everyone else in the VIP. (You kinda scan the room to see if there’s anyone you recognize.) It’s weird because even though…you haven’t actually met them in real life before, when you do, you kinda acknowledge them like you have known them for years.

Firstly, you all do the same thing, so  there’s an immediate respect that goes around from person to person.

We all know how difficult the entertainment industry is or can be..and at some point, no matter ‘what list’ your audience places you upon….what we ALL have in common, is that we’ve all had some ambitious creative dream. We all had the balls to go to an audition..and try and make that dream a reality. We all heard ‘no’s,’ but eventually *swagged* it out well enough to finally get the YES….Which placed us on your TV screen, all over the press, or be hailed as a DJ God, be placed on your favourite sports team. We’ve all worked hard and built up an audience, a brand or a career, doing something that we love.

Straight away I ordered a double gin and tonic, *air kissed* a rugby player, said ‘hi’ to some of my old friends, who I haven’t seen in ages, and then took Snapchat videos with Abeiku Arthur. I saw Jordan from ‘Ibiza Weekend’ stood talking to a Geordie Shore guy at the bar and then Charlotte Dawson sauntered in, looking like an absolute DREAM. She looks flawless. Her face was flawless. But she walked straight into the busiest VIP in all the land also, and ended up right in front of me and with the biggest smiles and a ‘hi, how are you,’ she was certainly one of my favourite sightings.

I love that girl. She’s so much fun. I definitely want to birthday go ice skating with Charlotte Dawson. (Random. But true! I do.)

Yeah, it was busy. Yeah it was rammed. We all took VIP breathers at points, just to get some air.

BUT IT WAS GREAT.

It turned BONKERS.

Dancing on tables, booze being guzzled like it was the last drop of fizzle on the Earth. TV cameras, bright lights in dark rooms, playing cards flying through the air, the craziest bustle, the loudest music, people jumping up and down, diving from wall to wall, drinks being spilled over one another, laughter, madness, clothes being ripped off…

Tom: ‘I’m boiling. It’s hot….I’m so hot…’

(Shirt flies off. People follow suit.)

Then the next minute he’s bare back, topless ‘piggy backing’ a friend, whilst being filled with laughter and ‘good times,’ models and pornstars are kissing his cheeks, his face is covered in red lipstick *kiss marks,* everyones phone was out and selfie taking for Snapchat was at it’s finest.

Then sassy masked bunnies in lingerie, casually saunter by..

It was the most bonkers time.

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It was like an urban, dance music, ‘circus’ of utter brilliant madness. The VIP was the ‘party version’ of Fight Club. Where the fighting was ‘mad partying’ and the club was in the name of Zanetti.

It was brilliant. It was so much fun. Something you have to do. A Zanetti VIP room, should absolutely be on everyones ‘Bucket List.’ There’s nothing like it…

I mean a flipping DWARF got hurled into the masses, so he could crowd surf! Hahaha. What the actual….I loved it! It was hilarious!

Just bonkers.

I looked around and scanned the room and everyone seemed like they were having the best time. It was crazy. And the good thing about it was that there were no rules. Usually… we are to say the right thing, do the right thing, meet the right people, promote the right thing. No one gave a fuck….they just enjoyed the most inappropriately fun time ever and with absolutely no censor.

The VIP rocked.

(No wonder everyone tried to sneaky peeky in.)

What I did notice about Tom…and I watch people, all people…always. He’s a nice guy…yeah…There’s a sweetness and a sophistication to him dipped in an urban ‘bouji’ twist. But he’s a really determined guy. He’s an ambitious soul. A showman. He knows what he’s doing, but he’s real. He’s down to Earth. He’s a guy who knows what he wants. Wants it his way and isn’t scared to voice his opinion. You don’t mess with Zanetti. He’s hot, right now. He’s really popular, which makes him powerful. People just want to be around him. You can’t help but feel quite ‘cool squad’ when you’re around him.

I watched him behind the bar, making sure people were being treated well. ‘WELL’ the way he seemed fit….which was with utter ‘boujiness.’ He’s an outspoken guy and he’ll tell it how it is. Everyone loves that! It must be his inner Northern…

The party went on and on, but I had to leave for the night at around 2am, simply because I had a 9.23am train to catch to London in the morning. I had an important Wunna Land PR meeting. at noon.

I got home, had an argument with an idiot taxi driver (All Yorkshire people argue with taxi drivers)  and got a few hours sleep, before waking up to my alarm, weirdly feeling ‘fresh as a daisy.’ It was almost like an evening of debauchery never even happened,

I was on a Platform 1, at Doncaster train station, ready to head to London, whilst answering inbox messages from people I met the night before…by 9am. He’s some of my messages…

‘Sorry I didn’t get the chance to chat to you last night. I recognised you, but it was just so mad.’

‘It was great meeting you last night. Let’s grab lunch some time.’

‘Babe, lovely meeting you…’

Before I left, I was sort of in this tunnel part of Mission, mixed in with a mass crowd of selfie taking. This awesome ‘swaggy’ guy in a black furry coat, kept stopping me and asking where ‘Rachel’ was…

‘Where’s Rachel?’

(I don’t even know who Rachel is??? Lol He must’ve asked me about 42 times, during the process of the entire evening.)

Abeiku Arthur was selfie taking with every boobie chick his eyes could ever see. A girl asked if she could selfie with me, but kept hating the picture, so we had to do it at least 17 times at 2am in the morning…The hot bunnies, with the evil ears, were now stood around me and chatting but then people then grabbed THEM for selfies…. and my night was over.

I tinkered out of Club Mission, in the early hours of the morning and when I did, there were STILL queues and queues of people waiting to get inside the club! (I walked straight over the red carpet like it was my Mums living room flooring. Lol.)

Leeds was on FIRE that night!

It was one of those nights, that you know you showed up at, yet because it was littered with utter madness, you can only remember things in ‘flashback form.

BUT…..a

It is one of those nights… that you’ll always always remember….and that’s what he does well!

Some of us in the VIP room, will bloom into Big BIG SUCCESS stories. Some of us will go far. Some of us will chose not to. Some of us will settled down, get married, have babies. Some of us will swirl down that merry plughole. Some of us will be remembered. Some of us will be forgotten. Some of us will make our marks more than we ever imagined we could.

But on November 11th 2017, on that Saturday night…WE ALL….under one roof, shared LIFE together, in the name of our Tom Zanetti!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sunday Tittle Tattle & Gifts…

It’s the most beautiful day in Yorkshire today. The air is crisp, the sun is out, the birds are chirping, there’s a gentle breeze meandering across the fields, through the cities…So, it’s a total shame that I’m feeling a bit rough. I’m only a bit rough. Not mega rough. If I was mega rough, I would’ve had to surrender to my flamingo bed sheets all day and beg for ice lollies. (Ice lollies and cups of tea, are my favourite hang over cures. My second favourite hang over cure is obviously a cocktail. The ‘Hair of the Dog’ really works. However, today….it’s not my choice of mixer.)

Yesterday was fabulous. Ruby and I tinkered to Doncaster, as you may well know, to select our favourite Christmas gift choices at Debenhams. It’s definitely for a blog that will come out later, where I’ll be showing you some of our favourite things.. closer to the festive season. But honestly, I was bamboozled by the distinct glow of fabulosity. Such great choices. I’m a Christmas Baby. I have a December birthday. It’s my favourite time of year. I love gift buying. Yet, I’m either a quirky gift purchaser or a LUXURY GIFT purchaser. Meaning you could receive anything from a sassy bit of Gucci, to an Inflatable crown, just so you can be a ‘Queen for the Day.’Lol. Depends on how i’m feeling, at the time?

We came back with all sorts. Ceramic ‘Posh Shot’ cups, Chocolate fountains, Parrot Party Bottle openers, a range of jewellery, crepe makers, bath bombs, bouji this, silly that….Handcrafted Reborn Dolls (which retail for the bargain price of £99, per doll. I KNOW! Craziness. How can a dolly be that much!) So, I’m looking forward to showing you what Wunna Land gift choices we made at Debenhams. You should never let my first born, my Mother and I lose around your store, any store…we will want EVERYTHING. It’s like placing the most spendy people in one place and throwing them a ‘cold hard cash’ bone. Junior’s been at his Dad’s all weekend and we’ve all missed him so madly. He would’ve LOVED the merriment.

Mum: ‘So what’s Junior doing then?’

Me: ‘He’s got a family birthday or something with Keirans sister and then he’ll have a Sunday of religious paradise stuff…’

Mum: ‘Paradise?’

Me: ‘. Shit. I forgot to tell you. Keiran gave me a Bible and told me that if I wanted to go to Paradise when I die, I had to become a Jehovah’s Witness.’

Mum: ‘Where’s his Paradise? Ibiza? 😉 ‘

Then we continued choosing gifts. (Keiran and my Mum, do not get on! You have never seen two head *butt* so much.)

‘I really like those rose gold Prosecco bottles.. As if it comes with a bell. GIVE ME BOOZE NOW. Tinkle. Tinkle.’

I have literally had THE BEST family weekend. It’s been great and I haven’t seen Ruby as happy as she is right now, in a really long time. She was giddy with excitement. Her eyes lit up with life.

Yesterday, we met a load of people and it felt really great to feel like we had such support. I have more support than I ever thought? I love nothing more, than people stopping me to tell me that they’ve read the blog or love the blog. They talk about their favourite entry. They remember everything. It’s impressive. It’s actually funny because they tell ME the story, with excitement, like I might not remember it. J I lived it. It’s my life. I know the story. Lol. I wrote the story. I was there.  I mean yesterday a girl was asking me about ‘Hustle Barbie’ and our night out at Issho…and as I was chatting to her about it, I guess I said ‘Hustle’s’ actual name…because I would. I mean, they are real people in my life and I do call them by their real names… in real life. Lol.  Anyway, she was so shocked.

Girl: ‘Oh God. Is that her actual name?’

Me: ‘What? Oh! Yeah. Lol. Infact, she sent me a Snapchat of her boyfriend’s bum, whilst he was cooking her a Vegan curry, the other night.’

Girl: ‘Does he have a good bum?’

Me: ‘Yes. Lol. It looked like a peach, wrapped in tight grey jogging bottoms. I told her that I would never let her leave that bum. It’s just too good a bum.’

It all makes me smile and I guess it’s because the blog  means so much to me. I’ve written this diary for over a decade now. I didn’t really think it would become ‘A THING.’ I hoped that it would. I just didn’t think too much of it. I simply got on with it.

I love to write. I love to tell my story. I love to inspire. I love it when you all send me stories about your own life. I think EVERYONE’S LIFE is important and if more and more people could celebrate their own existence, tell their own story, or even write a diary or blog as therapy…To me, that would be WONDERUL. Infact, it would be WUNNAFUL.

I’m currently in talks with some great people right now, where I’ll hopefully be starting a campaign in the Spring of next year to encourage those, be you young, old, happy, sassy, quiet, successful, down trodden, or troubled, to keep a diary. It changed my LIFE.

So, I’m going to be encouraging more people to express and tell the story of their own day to day life, be it privately or publicly, in order to build internal strength, inspire others, or just have something to look back on and read, in the years to come. It’s YOUR STORY. Everyone has a voice. Sometimes we think people aren’t listening. But they are. Sometimes, we need to listen to ourselves. Writing things out, helps that. You can rewatch something as a third party. I’m someone that wants everyone to use their voice proudly. So yeah, hopefully that will all work out.

Anyway, where was I?

Ruby and I ended up heading over to Ego for a Lemonade and..well I ordered a Pina Colada. As my mum dropped us off, my phone flashed and it was Pete (Rubs Dad) just checking in to see if Ruby wanted to hang out with him?

I asked her and she simply said,

‘Yeah, why doesn’t he meet us for drinks.’

So as we waited for Pete to arrive, Ruby and I sat back, on a candle lit table, which was appropriately placed right infront of a GIANT MIRROR. And as we chatted about life, she beamed and threw her head back in utter laughter. As a parent, when you see that, you glow don’t you? She kept doing all these ‘swaggy’ impressions  of me, with a DIVA finger tut and head titters. Whenever she does an impression of me, she always does it with an American Accent? All she kept saying was,

‘Yo, Baby Boo. You can sit with us. Ha…Ha’Haaaaaa.’

For some reason, it cracked us both up and we were in lemonade and Pina Colada, candlelit stitches. We even forgot that we were at Ego. We must’ve been the loudest humans in all the land. But when ‘loud’ is laughter, it’s always great. 😉

Ruby: ‘You’re my best friend Mum.’

Then Pete showed up..

Pete: ‘Now, i’m here. I might get a table. I kinda want eat? Do you?’

Me: ‘We can sit and get something, yeah.’

Ruby: ‘Yeah, I wanna eat.’

(I didn’t eat and just drank, because I can’t do both at the same time.)

But it was nice to have a late afternoon family dinner. Like I always say, we ‘co parent’ really well, because it’s important to us, that the kids are happy. I’m really lucky in this respect. It’s great that we can go through everything we went through, not be together, yet still have dinner out, with our little girl… happily…And the same goes for Junior….It’s a blessing!

I can’t remember what they ate, now? But we just listened to Ruby chat about life. I chatted about my own life. Pete chatted about the drinks and dinner he had at ‘Neighbourhood’ recently (which has newly opened in Leeds.)

Me: ‘Was the food good?’

Pete: ‘Yeah but it was pricey. It’s really pricey.’

Me: ‘There’s so much going on in Leeds, right now. It’s so bouji! Everything’s turned so glamourous. I’m loving it’

The other week, someone I know, had never been to Leeds, but had heard that it was really rough. Oh my GOSH. No. Right now, it’s all Louis Vuttion, glammy cocktail bars, fine dining and heels. It’s the opposite to rough. We’re just Yorkshire. 😉 You don’t mess with anyone from Yorkshire. Lol.

Then day became night and I soon ventured home. Ruby went to her Dad’s to chill with him for an hour and then came home to sleep with Mama.

Great Weekend. I still feel like the luckiest girl alive. I am the luckiest girl alive.

Monday, starts tomorrow…..

Oh my God! As if Ronnie (one of my closest LA besties, he’s also a celebrity chef out in LA, had his own show, has just cooked for Gwyneth Paltrow.) He’s just messaged me, saying he’s gonna be in London in December and wants to see me! SO EXCITED! Let me go chat to him.

Fyi/My Shocking phone call, from my ‘Shocking Phone call’ blog has now started to wind me up. lol. I’m annoyed now for no reason. Lol

Love Lists, Glamour Pussing & Does Size Matter?

Things are wonderful!

Monday was *chocca..blocked* with work. It was a busy one and there were no fruity cocktails in sight. You could’ve kicked me and a bundle of ‘to do’ lists, would’ve fallen out of my system and you know things are crazy when life throws you that ‘non juicy’ bone. As SURELY when people kick me, only fruity frizzles of Martini, *squirts* out of me. No such luck.

Right now i’m hopeful. I’m working hard and with my fingers crossed…I don’t expect anything, I just hope for the best really. I hope I get sent a whole bunch of luck, to go with my whole bunch of hard work and a whole jolly bunch of decent peoples, to man the Wunna Land fort. Something tells me that my next year is going to be great! I’m lucky. I’m really lucky. Please make it be great…Or this blog posts makes me look foolish. 😉

Today, I’m gonna talk about the art of PONDERING.

I’m a doer, not a ponderer. I make decision FAST. Good ones. People waste a lot of time on the simple art of pondering, don’t they? I used to. I don’t any more. I’m a grown up now.  Sometimes we ponder far too much about the things we can’t AT ALL control. You can’t control them. It’s not like you don’t know that? You do and try to anyway. Don’t waste that energy. It’s always what you DO that matters. And further from that, it’s all about how much IMPACT you MAKE from that little piece of ‘doing.’

I’m the kinda girl who will do everything I CAN, I’m a positive person on all levels, but THEN I’ll leave the rest to that good old ‘life magic.’ I believe in fate and destiny. You’ll end up where you’re meant to be. For me, these days, life usually goes great, but when it doesn’t, I just slip on a different set of stilettos and dolly march forward. When you can quick change your heels and still strut forward with a whole heart and a gallop, you’ve got it!

I spent the day with ‘The Girls’ yesterday. (As in my chick friends…not my bosoms. I spend enough time with my chest and let’s face it, they’ve served me well in the past. Lol)

Little Innocent ‘FairyTale Blond’ couldn’t have been more little and innocent yesterday. Everything from trapping fingers, seeing how fast she could run down the stairs, eating fruit, making fairytale cups of tea and hopeful Disney Love occurred in her world. ‘Double B’ strutted in with her Sasserilla scowl, her weave, her bag flung over her ‘had sex last night’ shoulder and with a hangover that could… AND DID… give her tonsillitis today. (She was absent from Wunna land adventures this Tuesday. I knew she should’ve have had sex. Something always goes wrong.)

Mel had decided that her body was so smart, that during the Winter months, it naturally knew how to create an extra layer of warmth, that was made via the fine art of eating things out of the ‘filth drawer.’ (Which she can now do, as she’s a proper full fledge gym goer now and loves it. She also found a dead rat, on the tip of her leopard print shoe, whilst she crossed a road in Doncaster.) Hustle Barbie is still a Vegan and shouting at Jonsez over mangoes. Firmonell sent me a love song, about Chinese people and stated that she was really good at pretending to be a Lesbian. Lady Shizzle definitely agreed that ‘five inches’ was not a good ‘willy size’ and considered being an alcoholic…

Shizzle: ‘Five is SMALL. Six or Seven Inches is AVERAGE. Eight or Nine is BIG.’

Me: ‘Anything else is…pointless.’

Then we went through our personal lists of what our DREAM MAN or partner requirements were. Again..for no real reason. It’s just for kicks innit. 😉 Love being a girl! I’m not gonna say who said what…But here are some snippets of our convo…

‘Stylish…they’ve got to be stylish.’

‘You can give them style!’

‘No you can’t!’

‘Funny. I love funny.’

‘Sexy IS SO IMPORTANT.’

‘They’ve GOT TO BE GOOD AT SEX! I hate bad sex.’

‘Rich.’

‘Rich isn’t on my list.’

‘Rich is on MY LIST!’

‘Oooh no…you’re wrong. Attractive. Handsome.’

‘I like good teeth.’

‘I just like kind.’

‘Generous. It’s alright saying rich, but if they’re tight…’

‘Good manners. A gentleman.’

‘As long as i’m not repulsed by them then i’m okay.’

I was actually JUST telling my guy friend about the above conversation and he was astonished at the fact that not ONE OF US, mentioned ‘Loving, faithful, loyal or respectful.’

We didn’t mention any of the above, because WE SHOULDN’T HAVE TO MENTION ANY OF THE ABOVE, it should go without saying. OBVIOUSLY, we’d expect anyone we’re with, or dating… to naturally come to us with a bundle of loyalty, love and respect. Surely they’re not things that boyfriends, husbands or potential partners, or even girlfriends, and wives should need to TRY TO BE. We’re women not kids. Our fun personal lists, were just for bonus points. (Ooh. I need to add ‘Hero’ onto mine. I love a Hero. Can’t believe I forgot that.)

I can’t remember what else I was gonna tell you now?

I’ve got a lot of organizing to do, so i’ve got to get going.

Thank you for following my life.

The amount of you, all over the world, reading this, is crazy and let me tell you, I couldn’t be more grateful. I mean it from the bottom of my heart.THANK YOU.

FYI/ Nothing topped my weekend off than Miss Gemma Collins, falling through a hole, on a stage, that delivered Love Island cast members, at some Radio 1 TV Awards thingy. Lol. OH my GOD. HOW I LOVE ‘THE G.C.’ She stole the show. She’s literally the funniest girl on British TV right now. And yeah, it’s such an awful thing to have happen and I hope she’s not hurt, but GOSH, she filled us ALL UP with sincere laughter and good vibes. She took it like a champ! (Definitely heard that she’s suing them now. 🙂 )

 

 

Wunna Land Gossip, My Diary, My Life

This last week has been swirled with a gooey glitter splurge of insanity. It’s been madness!! I can’t even tell you, but i’ve done it with grace and a smile on my little oriental face. There hasn’t even been time to blog. I’ve spun plates, on all levels, like some Hero of femininity. Unfortunately for me, I’m not ‘some hero’ at all, i’m simply managing my life in order to get the best out of it.

Yeah, I’m a single mum of two with a mighty career load…but so are a lot of chicks. All I can tell anyone in my situation is to NOT GIVE UP. You can do it, get through it and see the results that you want. You’ve just godda keep at it and not feel sorry for yourself.

I remember sitting in this acting class in LA as a 22 year old and the guy who owned the school came in to give us some ‘life lesson’ lecture. He told us that the majority of people DIDN’T MAKE THEIR DREAMS COME TRUE, simply because they GAVE UP. I held onto that. It’s true. So when you prioritize, work hard, don’t get distracted and rest when you can, you’ll smash it. You’ll even get better at it. Everyone that adores you, will always be there, when you come out of that tunnel.

I probably worked 19 hours of each 24hr day last week, continuously, until it was time to sleep. Lol. My diet got glamorously flung out the window. I wanted to get skinny for no reason, so i looked great for filming. I don’t even feel fat. I feel great. I love my body..even the wibbly bits. So, it wasn’t a priority. It got flung. Everything was..

‘I’d like a bucket of chicken wings with hot sauce, onion rings and a Pina Colada, please.’

The Pina Colada is essential. I can’t do anything without a cocktail by my side. It’s less about the drinking and more about the fact that they make me smile when they’re near me. 😉  I also like luxury. I can slum it with the lasses. But I don’t prefer to. It doesn’t make me feel comfy. Lol. I’ve added the requirements onto my ‘DIVA list.’ My Diva list is the list of ‘Wunna Must Haves’ that is produced when I’m going to appear somewhere, be it business or pleasure…Y’know, like Rockstars would ask for shit like Green M & M’s.

My requirements are now, PHONE CHARGING FACILITIES, WIFI, LUXURY WHEREVER IT CAN BE APPLIED & TWO WELL MADE COCKTAILS. (I’m used to doing the 2 for 1 cocktails at Ego now. Hence why two drinks are an absolute necessity.)

My chicks friends have been dandy. Mel’s been gyming it, Fairytale Blond is having a phantom pregnancy, Hustle Barbie is stroking dead pigeons, Jonesez is pretending to be a Vegan so Hustle fancies him, Double B has heightened her ‘Sass’ levels and Firmonnell and I have turned up our life mode to the art of  ‘C’est La Vie.’ I think both Hustle and Firmonnell had agreed that they’ve either made up or blocked their childhoods out for no real reason and the PE teacher that I used to chat to, about 2 years ago…has been hailed the ‘Hottest Teacher in The World’ by the Daily Mail. I knew it had to be press for something, so I checked and he’s going to be a new fitness presenter for the BBC. He was actually on that really ace reality show ‘Last man Standing’ years ago. He deserves a break because he’s worked really hard for it. We’re good friends, i know him well, so if he manoeuvres all his work correctly, he could actually be a huge star!

Me: ‘I’d wondered what he had been doing all of this time??’

Firmonnell: ‘Sit ups….OBVIOUSLY!!’

Firmonnell and I actually going to see a clairvoyant together on Wednesday, Susan Woods. I’m really excited to blog about it all. It feels juicy. Plus, we’ll be delighting in Prosecco all the way there, so i’ll take any bad news with glee and a prosecco dripped happiness. It’s glamour pussing…honest. *Yayur*

I messaged her yesterday complaining because she wasn’t with me whilst I was trapped, in some kind of ‘Countries of the World’ drinking Disney Land. Not that I could ever feel TRAPPED in a place of such absolute wonder. I mean, I could’ve had Sake in the Japanese hut, Rum in a reggae chill zone, Austrian Ale in some log cabin and vodka in an iced mountain den. A Disney Land for total alcoholics.

Firmonnell: WHY AM I NOT THERE! SEND ME PICTURES NOW.

I had Baby Junior, as Ruby had opted for doing the Blackpool Illuminations with her Dad. Junior convinced me to purchase his poor little ‘hard done by’ self  a DRUM KIT. Massive ROOKIE ERROR! What was I thinking!!!! So yeah. No fun in the Disney Land for boozers for me. I HAD TO CARRY A DRUM KIT AROUND WITH ME…(glamourously..of course.) Then he demanded that we go to Ego for drinks and a bread board. So we did…..I definitely got tricked, rinsed and by my own loin fruit. My own darling creation. (He filmed this morning and DEMANDED that his drum kit was in every scene and that everyone heard him smash out irregular drum beating to JINGLE BELLS …continously. After filming he got sent off for his usual Sunday ‘Daddy Day’ with his Jehovahs Witness Father.

I’m currently having to write this from the back of my Mum’s car, as she drives us all to lunch. That’s how i’m having to utilize my time now. The rest of The Wunna’s are actually doing well also. They will be welcoming themselves to entertainment shortly….both with me and without me. ((I know! I can’t believe how everything’s panning out!)

Mum: Well Chrissie’s been writing the blog and it’s turned HUGE by accident & so  she’s getting plunged back into TV. Now… because of the blog, we’re ALL getting asked to do all sorts. She always said you only live once….and I guess right now….we’re going to have fun as a family, yet under extraordinary circumstances. People must be inspired by her? I mean, she’s my own and even I look at her sometimes and think gosh I don’t know how she does it!!??!!’

(Aww… I have an ace Mama!)

The great thing is that by the end of December, everything changes for me and I step into a new chapter. Things will be much easier for me. I’m someone who embraces new chapters with ease, as they seem to have happened to me a lot in life…both good and bad. I focus on the good. I told you. I don’t waste my time on the bad. I have so much to be happy about and a future that feels charmed, right now. I don’t have anymore auditions this week, so I can concentrate on the blog, which is what I love the most! I’ve signed up to some really exciting collabos and brand deals and I can’t wait for you to see the fun!

Right we’ve pulled up. The cars stopped. I’m off to lunch.

Happy Sunday!

When Actions Speak Louder Than……

I’m feeing good. I’m feeling independant and free. Kinda like i could shimmie forward with those delicious ‘can can’ high kicks if I wanted to. But ofcourse, I don’t want to, as high kicking on a Sunday is certainly for the foolish. I’m being chilled. I’m like the glisteningly cold champagne bottle, that you have resting in your ice bucket, on your brunch table whilst you take in the breezy lunchtime sunshine. I am a bit anxious right now, because weird things keep happening to me. But i’m happy. Quietly happy. Today, I get to relax, rest and enjoy life.

I’ve definitely been told that I walk too slowly. And yeah, I do. I’m a glamour puss. I’m usually in heels, or utterly distracted by people. I’m a natural observer. I watch everything. And being a big believer of the ‘rah rah’ phrase that ‘ACTIONS DO SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS,’I like to watch folk, when they think i’m not looking…but calmly. (As opposed to creepily.)  I think don’t like to dash places. I kinda like to chill things, in an organised, glamourous fashion and do it to the beat of my own diamond drum.

‘Actions speak louder than words’ is my phrase of the day. I’ve just had one of my chick friend on the phone to me, who is devastated by some guy, a good guy…who has promised her the ‘full menu’ but only delivered a ‘side.’ I don’t know him well, so I didn’t really comment because no one really knows the in’s and outs of what goes on with people and their personal matters of the heart, do they? Plus, I don’t like to give people advice, because my advice is always wank. I’m just there for listening and humour. And I always think people need to make their own life choices, simply so I don’t end up getting the blame for anything, IF it all goes titties up. Yipppeeee! All about me!

But It’s funny how people can say anything to anyone. Anything they wish. All sorts. Everything and ANYTHING dashed in ‘what you want to hears,’ (I mean my guy friend used to pretend to be a psychic on West Hollywood streets, simply to pull hot chicks) and I get it, I get why people do it and like I was saying yesterday ‘intent’ is everything. It doesn’t always come from a bad place. If you know me personally, you’ll know that I am a direct girl, so I’m one to say what I mean and do what I say…I have no problems expressing anything or my truth. I’m open. But i’m polite. If I like you, I’ll tell you and if I don’t, i’ll charmingly tell you why.

Yet do remember that is it WHAT SOMEONE DOES that matters. What they put into ACTION is based on their emotions and how they feel. No one lets anything they value, respect or adore GO. Be it in work or love. No one does. And yeah there are times when we take things or people for granted and we go off in a tizzy based on complacency. But like I said to my chick friend this morning, even if someone does do that temporarily, if their heart is true, they will always come right back. And that’s the truth! That’s happened to me loads of times with guys in the past. In fact, a year and a half ago, THREE of those guys tried to tip toe back in. They intially thought i wasn’t the right fit, dated someone else and then thought ‘Shit…i fucked up…I want Wunna back.’  (Unfortunately for them, I don’t work like that. My pride won’t let me. It’s not MY FAULT that they all had poor judgement. Lol. So when they do that,  UNLESS the guy beings to PROVE that they care…I never ever consider it… Until ‘actions’ have been put into place…everything is all just chatter. I’m far too much of a grown up for just chatter. I’ve always looked for stability when it comes to love.)

So today, try not to put yourself at the bottom of your priority list. I do it all the time. Other peoples needs seems to always come way above mine at times and it’s not good for you. It just turns stressy. Be caring, but don’t deny yourself of happiness.

A weird thing happened to me last night. I reinstalled my ‘messenger’ for Facebook. I had deleted it because I have zero storage at the best of times. Anyway, I found this really long message from a woman in Spain that read…

‘7 SEPTEMBER 11:02

Hello Chrissie, I need to tell you a short little story, be patient and please read. I am not asking you for anything…’

 

I won’t tell you her full story, as that would be far too personal..

But it went on…

‘I take a pad and pen every night on my bedside table. In this last 6 months although I do not remember my dreams I wake up and write names down that come to me. Your name has been coming to me for the last 2 weeks. Sometimes I only get first names other times last names. With you I get full name, I don’t know you, you don’t know me. I live in Spain.

Chrissie I deeply apologise for contacting you, now perhaps I can move on in the knowledge that I have contacted you. I know this is weird, but you do have a very unusual name not one I would recognise. Hopefully this will stop now. May I wish you and your family good health and happiness. Hugs x’

10 SEPTEMBER 22:33

Hello, you haven’t replied or indeed taken time to look. Believe me when I say this to you,  I am a real empath and I keep writing your name down every morning without fail for more than 2 weeks, we need to link so I can sleep. So if you ever read this and I hope you do I am now getting visions if your son. Blessing x’

So, I Googled ‘Empaths’ and well they’re apparently really spiritual people who connect to the energies of others??? Has this happened to any of you? This woman in Spain is has apparently been zapped into the emotional state of energies of a girl and ended up writing and re writing her name, whilst feeling all that she is feeling every evening…The name she keeps writing is

‘Chrissie Wunna’

She searched the name because it was so unusual on Facebook and found me…and therefore, as a result sent a bunch of messages.

I sent her a message hoping that she was okay and that she slept well. (I mean, the poor sod must be exhausted tapping into my energy right now. I’m hormonal. Lol)

She said that she was so happy that we connected and now she could probably sleep…having found me. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. She sent me a message this morning, saying that she again couldn’t stop writing my name over and over again all night and that she knows how i’m feeling because she’s feeling it too and that I need to heal, before all the name writing will stop. If I saw her as unnecessary that was fine. But If i needed her she was there?

EH?

I’m so confused. Has this happened to you?

What is my life? This can’t be true.

 

 

Banter, Geordies & Life Skills

I’ve had a snotty nose all day and nothing is more unattractive on adults than a snotty nose right? It’s ran all day and i’ve had to have tissues at the ready to hold onto some form, any form of glamour pussiness. I don’t like runny noses…they’re not very Gucci. 🙂

I’m still working hard and i’m sorry that I haven’t managed to blog as much as usual. Yet when there’s a lifestyle blog, there’s a life…and sometimes you’ve just got to live it. I’m a writer and I love it more than anything. I’m creative. But when I have a snotty nose…shit goes down. I was sassy. It put me in a mood and mainly because it kept rubbing off my foundation…

‘I’ve forgotten my bronzer brush and I keep blowing my nose! I can’t have an exotic face and a white persons nose.’

I did lunch with ‘Hustle Barbie’ today as we looked over the town from a giant glass window with a salad. During that time, after she had bought herself an emergency dress for the York races, she was so happy that she contemplated throwing herself off a giant building. Lol.

‘This isn’t life. It’s shit. I’m sat here with you, doing lunch. I’m looking out the window and nothing out the window that we can see is beautiful or exciting. LOOK! It’s all shit! I mean God, you’re losing your touch! You don’t even get those creepy videos from that creepy guy with the tiny penis anymore! I feel like I should just throw myself off that tower…Hahaha.

However, because she’s so hot, if she did, some kind of weird Prosecco angels would fly by gracefully and cradle her fall, whilst turning it into some beautiful soft landing, that ended in rose petaled bedding.When you’re hot that happens. It does. Even in an bouji invisible brace.

Right now, I’m all about living life and loving it. I’m sick of people spending time on the things they don’t love. You should all be working jobs that you were made for and adore. I’m also sick of folk refusing to express how they feel about the things or people they do love. There’s nothing wrong with that, so be terrified of it. If I care about someone, regardless as to how they may feel about me, I make sure I tell them that I care about them almost every day. You’re a long time dead and anything can happen. So…it makes me feel good to let the people I appreciate know that I do. You should do that to. It’s good for the soul…like rum.

A thing that’s made me smile today..is my chick bestie ‘Firmonnell.’ She’s travelled to London with her hubby ‘Big D’ today and they’re celebrating their Anniversary. She’s 30 now…or thirty something i can’t remember? They’ve been together since she was 19! I know!!! And to this day, after all that time, they’re still happily married, now with two babies, love, a to die for friendship and they still even have sex regularly! It’s a dream! Big D ‘gushed’ about how wonderful she was today and that made me beam. I love it when guys can openly declare how wonderful their wife is! It’s so sexy!

Y’know, it’s weird as Firmonnell and I have the exact same sense of evil humour. We are absolute BANTER! However, we’ve walked such different lives. And in a way, even though i’ve done the whole everything I ‘Hollywood’ wished for in work and ‘modelled’ my way through life with telly stints, glamour ‘do daa’s’, celebrity this and and excitement…part of me wishes that at the same time, I managed to hold onto to love. I’m thirty six and haven’t managed to stay in love since being 19. I’ve been married three times. (Firmonnell liked my first husband and decided to LAUGH AT ME for the divorce because I was foolish. Hahah! What a cow! Lol.)

LET ME TELL YOU.

Don’t fret, if you’re in my glitzy position. Lol

Love comes to people at different times and i’m not talking the average kind of love. I’m talking that LOVE that people have written about over centuries. That true love that whisks you off your feet. That guy who is your ‘hero.’ That girl who makes you feel like the greatest man alive. It comes to you when it’s meant to. So for Firmonnell she was lucky because when she turned 19, he found her, he loved her and they did ‘happily ever after.’

My life’s been a bit different and mainly because of my choice in career, i’d say. Then my stint in Hollywood. Then my telly bits….It kinda made finding true love, somewhat more difficult. Not just because people saw me differently. Yet because my view or standards on what I wished for in a dream man were also raised. Infact there were times in my 20’s when i didn’t even know what I wanted, or had too many options or just felt lost and instead committed to work. But not now. I know what I want. I may have got what I want.

But yes, how lucky is Firmonnell. I’d like to have an anniversary, where my hubby declares how wonderful I am. And at the same time, years down the line, she adores him just as madly. That’s sexy.

Not much else has happened today other than a surprise visit from one of my new Geordie mates ‘Potter.’ He made a random appearance in Wunna land. Infact, after Lunch with ‘Hustle Barbie’ I found myself walking out of one door and walking through to the other side where I was immersed in a group of Geordie boys, all banter, all fun, all down to earth, all in suits and all talking football….with chicken. I’m northern, so I love a Geordie. When I was a teen, an American boy or a Geordie boy was my favourite type of crush. We all chatted shit for a good fifteen minutes in the name of banter. What i noticed about the boys is that they’re scrappy, but they’re loyal. They are passionate about the things that they care about. Banter was fun. They got a bit heated.

I’m Yorkshire and we’re chilled…we live our life by the leave it and ‘It’ll be right‘ phrase. We don’t really get too bothered about things, we just have cups of tea or 40 wines, whilst letting the world take a turn or having a ‘sleep on it.’

Saying that, i do know some properly mental Yorkshire folk who need therapy, so I take that back. I’M JUST CHILLED. I swear it’s the rest of you lot that are loopy! 😉 I’m perfect.

Right, i’m going now. I an hear singing in the house and I don’t know who or where it’s coming from which is alarming?

Love you,

Thank you for reading my blog.

Chrissie

 

 

 

Love, Life & Hero’s

I’ve had a really great day. Yeah, gosh there were parts that felt extremely looong, (and you know I hate ‘loooong’ anything. Be it stories….queues…..I even don’t get why sausage dogs are long? They creep me out.) Yet after a *blast* of ‘sat next to each other‘ sarcastic banter with my deliciously darling chick friend Firmonnell….and I LOVE A GOOD DASH OF BANTER, my faith in life, good friends and good times was not only restored, but heightened. (We’ve planned ‘doing drinking’ when everyone does worky social things. Lol)

‘I should be due on soon?’

‘I should be too? But i’m not..’

Firmonnell is utter GREATNESS when it comes to girl banter because I can…well WE CAN …HONESTLY rip each other, everyone else and the world to absolute hysterical, glittery shreds, in the name of absolute good humour, without a single censor and you need that, otherwise everything’s all ‘fakey’ and ‘smiley’ and not very hilarious at all. You know you are good friends or lovers ( I look for that in guys when it comes to romance) when you can handle a good old banter see saw! She can say whatever she wants and I will never judge her. I can literally say WHATEVER I want…and she will be the last human on Earth to judge me. That’s what I adore about her.

Yet saying that, I’m astounding LUCKY because all of us girls, in The Wunna Land circle are so SO close…yet ALL SO entirely different…that we just get along swimmingly. There’s a lot of real love between us. We’ve laughed together, we’ve cried together, we’ve lied for each other. 🙂 And it’s having that wonderful circle of genuine support that not only keeps me grounded, as do note, that I am going through a bit of a showbizzy time right now. I have a lot of dazzling’ bits and bobs’ a going on…and I feel really lucky. Yet having the girls around me every day, makes me focus on the things that matter..and not get lost in a egotistical flare of ‘look at me’ idiocy.

I’m a REALLY confident girl. An honest girl. A sassy one, yes, but a warm one. I’m tender. I’m fun. I’m kind. I’m not a dick. 🙂 I grew up being a model, ended up on a reality show and found myself being doing life as an infamous blogger and a business woman. (How hilarious. LOL.) I’ve worked hard. Yet still…it’s crackers.

I always say that my decade in Hollywood taught me how to ‘hustle.’ How to survive. How to celebrate glamourisity, yet be tough emotionally. That’s both in work and in love.  I’m soft, but not stupid. Even if I play it. I learnt EVERYTHING the ‘Hollywood’ way, so i’m probably one of the most savvy chicks you’ll ever meet. I just do it with charm and a smile. It was a great time and in that time I again made some close close friends for life. Note, that in m circle of LA friends…we were all flipping struggling…and now…right now…we are ALL doing superbly in our fields of entertainment. Two of them have their own show. One is a movie producer. One is a movie star. The other a famous rapper. It’s crazy! We were roommates and we all used to piss ‘before they were famous’ Maroon Five off (who also said they were going to be stars 😉 ) by being drunk neighbours.

But anyway, I learnt focus and making ‘dreams come true’ there, in one of the most toughest places of all, where everyone was out for themselves….It served me well. I smashed it. I can now smell bullshit in a second. But i’d never embarrass you. I’d just nod and let you get on with.

However, I will say that I learnt values, morality and unconditional love…y’know…true respect…all that good stuff, from my family. I LEARNT ALL THE THINGS THAT MATTER. The things that give you worth as a human. I have the best parents and had the most loving upbringing….and even though i’m 100 percent Burmese, (which makes me exotic and magical and very Oriental,) there’s this good old ‘down to earth‘ simplicity to me, that you could only learn in Yorkshire. I’m grateful for that. That never left me. I don’t get lost in showbizzy nonsense.  I control it. I’m a really stable chick. Even when i’m wild. Don’t get me wrong. I am a bit of an EGOMANIAC. A sexy one. I know i’ve done well…or that i’m doing well…I’m aware of the buzz. I don’t like to be treated badly be it in work, just in places, or in love. I’m cocky. I’m playful. I’m not beige. I hate beige. YET, at the same time i’m weirdly so chilled and together.  I could out glam a the finest luxury in all the land…then just kick in my my comfies, whilst sharing a Nandos with ya.

ANYWAY …this is where my friends come in…AFTER MY TIME IN HOLLYWOOD….and during THIS TIME where life for me is changing massively…I AM REALLY LUCKY, because I don’t think that many people in my current situation can actual sit down and say, I have THE BEST CIRCLE OF CHICK FRIENDS EVER. They could say they have ‘Alright Acquaintances,’ or ‘Usey Friends‘ or not very many real friends at all. I have the opposite. They’re ace. They keep me focused when I need to be, as they remind me of how lucky I am. YET, all that keeps me grounded, so i’m not an absolute dickhead…because let’s face it…there’s hundreds of ya’ll. 🙂 I don’t suffer fools well. But i’ll tell you with such grace whilst offering you a cocktail that you’ll forgive me and courtesy. Lol. I know some really great people. Not just the girls. I have really good friends all over. I mean, I asked one of my closest friends advice today and she’s in Bermuda. I love her. I remember all that time when I was going through my divorce and I was brave facing it. She could see through the ‘royal wave’ and the forced smile…and the next morning I received something in the post from her…that to this day means SO MUCH. (Thank you EMS!! 🙂 )

‘I don’t think she’s used to people actually caring about her, who don’t have to…be it friends or guys…..70 percent of them fall for *Chrissie Wunna* ….and not just this Burmese chick from Donny, named Christina. When she finds friends or guys who adore both…she treasures them.’

By nature, I’m someone that cares about people, lives and others…a lot more than they maybe deserve…and when I say ‘deserve’ I mean these are the people that haven’t done good by me…The good thing is that i’ve grown out of that. I’m thirty six and raising my own family now. I never focus on the bad past bits. It’s unhealthy. Instead I’m excited for all the good that I have to look forward to in the future. I’m beaming.

Today, if I learnt anything I learnt how important love is to everyone. I asked every single one of my friends around me about their love lives…and they delivered their versions. Each one of them *glistened* with glee as they reminisced and told me stories of how they met their husband, boyfriend, or just boned a date. Lol.

I’m a sassy one. But i’m a hopeless romantic and let’s face it, life hasn’t served me well in the love department at all over the years. But i’ve always been hopeful. I think i’m a bloody good catch. Lol. I’m sure guys have always understood me incorrectly. They’re approach is always odd. I’m someone that believes men should be brave and chase their hearts desire and do it with their romantic foot forward. I’m a girly girl. I LOVE ROMANCE. Yet i’ve had years of just idiots, with a operate their ‘wooing’ via a ‘think they know’ version of me. It came to a time that made me believe that I would never get swept off my feet by some Knight in Shining Armour.

It doesn’t matter who or how the girl is….every chick wants a ‘Hero.’

 

 

 

 

Today I’m talking Love…

It’s Summer right! Let’s have some fun now. We’ve sat in rain. We’ve worked hard all year. We’ve hustled. We’ve loved, we’ve laughed, we’ve cried. Some of us have fallen in love. Some of us and have had our merry hearts broken. Some of us have made our dreams come true and some of us just forgot to try.

Clean slate it!

People get so stressed out about shit that doesn’t matter. Don’t get stressed out about shit that doesn’t matter. One life to live, with nothing to lose. LIVE IT. I’m watching the whinners have a moan about life and the winners just get on with it. Wunna Land is a ‘no sulking’ zone. So if you’re feeling down…cheer up. If you’ve fallen down…get back up. If you’ve got a bikini, throw it on. If your Prosecco glass is empty.. pour a fresh bubbly one, as see it as half full.

The sun’s out now! Let’s have some fun! Fuck it! It’s Sunday!

So far, i’ve actually had a chilled one. I’ve worked hard all week and darted here there and everywhere. My first day into my days off, are always about family time and chill. It’s like the big old recoup after a jolly, but tough game. Plus, I treasure the time that I have with Ruby and Junior, as there’s just me (yes, I have a lot of help, that I appreciate greatly.) But I have to work quite madly in order to provide and ‘Boss it’ for them. (I haven’t been lucky enough in love to hold onto a proper ‘this is mummy…this is daddy…and we’re together forever’ lifestyle…YET. What? I’m hopeful. 🙂 ) Secondly…I have to share them with their Daddies (who I get along with quite wonderfully) and that alone is healthy for them, because they’re immersed in love continuously…However it makes me treasure my time with them. I love being a Mum.

We shopped, we sang, we danced, we face painted, we kicked balls in parks, we had mini manicures, we did family Wunna Lunch at Ego in Ackworth and I winked it all off with cocktails, an ‘at home’ dance off and then treated myself to an early night.

Ponte Races happened! Thousands of people went. I definitely didn’t, as it looked far too busy. But, some drunk chick with crimped hair got so blasted and used MEL’S HEAD to regain her wibbly balance. Hahahaha! When that text came in, I almost DIED. If you know Mel…YOU DO NOT EVER USE HER HEAD to find your balance. You don’t ever use her ANYTHING, without her consent, to find any form of anything! Hahaha! Especially if you chosen to crimp it up. Don’t crimp. It’s bad for you. It makes you look more drunk.

Double B has started going to the gym. I’m shocked, as she doesn’t look gymmy, but she is. I’m noticing that she’s water drinking, fruit eating and now signing up to gym memberships? It’s confusing me? I liked it better when she refused to eat potatoes unless they came in ‘smiley face’ form, or ham, unless it was served with a Billy Bear face on it.

Firmonnell is BACK and thank the fucking LORD. How dare she dash off to Tenerife with her family and leave me to my own lonely devices with no evil text banter to fill my much needed void. I’m so losery, that I even messaged her when I knew that she was on plane and couldn’t text back. But she’s BACK…and YES, I FINALLY FILLED A VOID.

Not sure what’s happening right now, but my inbox is filling up with men? They’re all tapping at my messenger waiting for some kind of response? I’m not good at responding, i know….but it’s because I don’t like lots of pressure from people that I don’t think really know me. It makes me run away, (yipppppeee) as I always believe that they have judged me on a picture and have an incorrect idea of what i’m actually like.

I’m quite traditional when it comes to love..and I have a one track mind. So if i fancy someone, I only really focus of them…that’s something that half of my inbox would never really guess? My persona is flirty, but my soul is loyal. (A bit deep for a Sunday. Lol) So Yes, I did once say that I prefer men to be forward but….

Well..to be honest I have to….

Whatever….Lol I am utterly flattered. So thank you. The lovely messages (and I do read them all, even though I don’t manage to reply) made me smile.

*Runs away and hides.*

Lots of people always ask me about my love life…and well I’m not an easy person to date and I reckon that I match well with other ‘not so easy to date’ people. In entertainment or any career where in which you need to both focus and promote yourself, work hard, be away, or hustle…it’s more difficult to find love. You have to rely on the loving stable other, to just ‘get it’ and understand…..it’s never easy. You yearn for something or someone to ‘get it‘ or for your relationship to just run easily. So when you have it, you grab in both hands and try to hold onto it forever. You treasure it. MADLY.

In LA, it’s really easy, because everyone’s doing the same thing. Everyone’s career focused. That comes first. They achieve everything imaginable and make all their dreams come true. THEN they do love, build a family and do the rest of it….properly. No one is living a normal life over there. Love is unconventional. But everyone gets how it is.

In England, it’s not as simple as that for successful men or ‘boss it’ kinda girls. It’s harder and it’s not a bad thing, as people are more ‘togethery’ in Blighty. They do forever. They love hard. They meet when they’re teens and stay together through eternity. They know what they want and it’s lovely….and i’m understanding it more and more, as days go by…in Hollywood…none of that existed when I was a 20 something. But I don’t dislike that. I loved my time in LA. I love who I am and what I stand for and I love that I never ‘just settled’ for whoever or whatever.

The next time I get married, I will be marrying the most amazing man alive.

The idea is to keep it simple. When you complicate something as pure as love…it dashes it with negative salt shakes, that can often make it meander inappropriately.

Anyway, i hope you all have the most delicious bank holiday weekend!

I’m off on my travels!

I’ll check in later.

Thank you for following my life.

ps/ Exciting things are about to happen.

 

 

 

 

Don’t look like a sausage roll…

I’ve just been living. So my apologies for the ‘no blog.’ I kept meaning to write one, then I’d opt for a beautiful fruit gin instead, as I hovered the dairy in’pending’ before another gin tinkered in.

I’ve worked through the weekend, so I pretty much only had Sunday to *kapow* it. As usually I’d KAPOW Saturday and take a massive luxury chill on Sunday. It’s like i had to *binge* fun into a day with friends, cocktails, family and love. I don’t like *binge* fun, cos now…it’s Monday and I feel fucking shattered. I’ve also decided that anything that begins with the words ‘ALL IN….’ is shit. 🙂

Lots is happening. My world is spinning, it’s a really exciting time and I feel like i’m about to wink my way to everything i’ve  always dreamed of. I had a few last minute glitches at the end of last week work wise. Some people kind. Some people… RUDE as hell. (Don’t be rude, i’ll think you’re a dick. I don’t know where people get off being ‘no reason’ rude…especially when they look like an ice goat from the Narnia cupboard. You can’t be a goat, have poor shoe game and then try and spit out bastardy behavior. It will not work for you…even if you’re wearing my Little Mistress faux fur.

Saturday was ‘work Saturday.’ And it was rubbish. I hated Saturday because I could’ve thought of 900 other things that I would rather be doing, than what I was having to be doing. I kept looking at the window sighing for more eventful times. I wanted to karate kick out my cage. Lol.

If my chick friend ‘Double B’ didn’t state that some looked like a… (wait for it..)

‘…a sausage roll with a wig on..’

Hhahahah! Life would’ve be shit. And because it was THE ONLY funny thing to have happened, I clung onto the thought for hours and it tickled me all day.

‘What are you laughing at?’

‘I’ still not over the sausage roll thing..’

‘It’s because she does actually look like one…lol.’

I LOVE ‘Double B’s insults because they’ll always be the most comedically odd, bitchy bits of ‘hoo haa.’ Like if ‘Mean Girls’ was Yorkshire and dipped in a silly whore sassiness…you would have what my ears hear on daily, from this chicks mouth. And then she’ll always top off the worse bits of insult off with her, ‘PAY THE FEE’ cheerleader dance.

‘Pay the feeee. Pay the feeeeeeeeee. Peace out. A Town.’

Firmonnell’s still happily married to ‘Big D’ and he’s totally stepped up his game. First he introduced a sex step, THEN he got a promotion…AND NOW he obtains these bags of jelly babies for free.

Big D and I used to go ice skating when we were kids at The Dome…as that all you could do in Doncaster… or ‘Dancing School.’ I mean who on EARTH gets to be married to Willy Wonka. AND SHE CAN’T EVEN ICE SKATE. I did the polite thing and told her that I might love or feel up her husband now that he has jellies.

She told me to ‘BACK THE FUCK OFF‘ Hahaha!

‘What? the dude’s got sweets and shit?’ 🙂

I’m loving this new ‘nothing to lose‘ outlook on life that i’m totally A* ..ing. I’ve got the reins to my world now and i’m flying baby, FLYING! Yes, i’m being a bit sassy, a bit annoying, a bit of a ‘doo daa’ at times…but i’m loving it and it’s ace and this is my patch of cyberland…so there! Prosecco for everyone!

(Hustle Barbie says it’s MY fault that she didn’t tidy her house because she went to do a blog catch up and ended up on this blog for hours. I assured her that there would be hot toyboys who would offer to clean her home for her…and that she could then leave her beau to date Gino D’Acampo. Great solution! I should have a therapy show!)

I’m in a swirl. God! This guy, ‘the swirl’ has got me going CRAZY!

Me: ‘I can’t hake you out my head. You’re in there. Always. I like it.’

‘Yeah me too..it feel ssoooooooo good.’

It’s thrown me a bit as you know how much I distrust my own judgements on anything ‘love or lust‘ related. This weekend, i just thought ‘fuck it’ (as I just can’t quit swirling about him) and with the whole ‘nothing to lose‘ mantra strapped onto my dildo…:) I WENT FOR IT.

He might have sent me a *spacky bum bum* emoji at one point. Lol.

I like this guy (but i’ve been treading cautiously..of previous)…We already get on well, so we don’t really need to try at that, as it’s just the way our personalities jigsaw. That part is a biggie, so we’re lucky like that.

So after picture taking, messages and him having a mild moan that they wasn’t much video content…Lol

‘Work your magic. 🙂 xx

‘You work your fucking magic. I’ve deleted every single SELFIE IN THE WORLD!!!!!’

We pissed ourselves, he went off on his night out and I got dressed, went to the bar and asked a guy to delete all my read emails so that I could video. Hahahaha! And he did! Very grateful!

Video galore was made on Sunday. It started sweet and just turned x rated. I couldn’t help it. The guy gets me going like that. Then like a magical flowing trail of saucy digital content…I proved that I had ‘nothing to lose.’ 🙂

It felt liberating. It felt sexy.

It was received with the upmost appreciation and messages to assure me that it was divine. Lol

I should get trophies for it! Yet, the art of sexy and seduction is knackering. I needed a warm bath and a ‘straight to bed’ afterward. Knowing my luck, I probably got him all juiced up and filled with spunk, so he could go bone some ‘first girl there’ chick because his willy couldn’t help it. Hahaha! I DID ALL THE FUCKING LEG WORK!!!! 🙂 Whatever, I’m Miss Wunna…ain’t no girl gonna beat my sauce. 🙂

Joking aside. I’m happy and like i said, you have to cling onto those moments of happy, don’t you? They keep things exciting and we (I hope) have exciting times ahead. The swirl is good because it weirdly has a magic to it, a magic that i’m labelling ‘substance.’ Like it could go really well..if we wanted it to.

If I could give you any advice from what I’ve learnt from my weekend, it would be to GO FOR IT. Express yourself. Be loving. Be open. be honest. Don’t give two shits about fear and get what you want…or at least have a go at trying…

‘Once upon a time..Mummy sent Daddy Nudes….and they lived happily ever after! 🙂 ‘

Oh and try not to look like a sausage roll..

Shit, i’ve got to dash…

Working ALL DAY.

 

 

Dreams Come True, New Brands & Jelly Babies

I’ve had a great day and it feels so good saying it because if i’m honest, over the last couple days, i’ve felt shit. I’ve really sort of doubted myself and let my kitty mind get into a fucking tizzy. I got myself in a mood and surrendered to an odd case of the blues. (That’s why there was not blog.) Feeling like that is normal. So if you have days of the same kinda fashion..KNOW that you’re not weird, you’re human. But it really is only temporary. It is impossible for you to feel that shit all the time. But by all means, feel it. Have a wine. Feel it some more. Get over it. But be around positive energies. When you’re really passionate about things and want to do well, yet don’t play nicely with the art of patience, it’s hard to stay calm and all ‘coolio.’

But i’m back and i’m ace and I couldn’t be more fucking GLAD. I sent a Twitter DM to ‘Yourfeed Jack’ who is REALLY great at reining Wunna Land in and forcing me to believe and focus.

Jack: You can! What does success look like? You’re getting overwhelmed with all the possibilities and not knowing what the core is.’

I read this as I was stuck in traffic in Pontefract, by the Kings school at 8.34am.

After a few moans and moments of stress..I pulled myself together and with a..

‘Yeah..you’re right, I feel better now I forgot that I knew what I was doing, but yeah…I actually do. Lol. Yay!’

I pulled my sassy socks up and got on with it. From that point on…and whilst surrounded by the best chicks friends ever…i SMASHED IT.

Y’see the thing about this ‘dreams come true’ malarky is that you have to be emotionally sound enough to jolly the ride. I’d say i’ve been lucky enough in life, to have a lot of dreams come true. Not always…it would be a lie to sugar coat it, yet i utterly realize how great i’ve had it at times…and I appreciate it because of the struggly bits. The shit parts. I’ve achieved a lot, so much that I won’t believe it until i’m a granny, rocking and knitting and telling my stories to strangers on streets, with a rum. (I WON’T SMELL OF WEE.)

But you can start off with loads of ‘dreams come true’ early on and then suffer through nothing. OR start off with nothing and experience ‘dreams come true.’ (Which i think is better.) Either way…as long you have a good grasp of life, balance and reality, the ability to adapt and have decent people with you who ‘focus’ you, when you gleefully throw yourself down that panic slide with your arms in the air and a ‘weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee,’ you’ll be fine. ADAPT! Get on with it. Get what life is about. Partner up well, so you’re not with a dickhead who makes you emotionally feel like a dollar, instead of a trillion dollar big bucks. You’re gonna need a team mate. Don’t get that part twisted. It’s love that makes the world go around…not a Lamborghini.

After my pep talk, I got into mode…a good mode…a swinging strut mode and fuck it, from that point onwards..I booked all sorts! EVERYTHING! I cleaned up with glitter winks. I had opportunity swinging from my nipples tassels because I believed I could do it. So don’t let anyone tell you that you CAN’T do something. If someone doesn’t believe in you, don’t worry, work hard…they will. THEN YOU’LL have the choice to decide if you can be arsed to to deal with them, when you’re waving your sexy success flag. That relates to work AND love. Be the BEST VERSION of yourself.

I had an exciting 12 noon phone call today. Oddly, I was stood outside part of a castle that was mixed in with a church..and I was on the phone to a new brand that I’m wanting to work alongside. They said that they were huge Wunna fans. ( I love that.) I then looked at what they did, and it shocked me because I BECAME FASCINATED with what they had created. I wanted a deal. They called me at noon, as I stood in a turtle neck in the sun, outside a church..and everything got so exciting, I almost burst. I can’t wait to meet them..

‘So, Chrissie, i’ve just been handed all this paperwork on you, that I feel like I KNOW absolutely everything about your life. I actually can’t believe how much is on my desk about you.’

Me: ‘I just want you  to know that I couldn’t be more excited about what you’re doing and I absolutely WANT to be a part of it all. It’s going to be HUGE.’

The day was ace after that point…so your mindset and having great people, friends or motivators around you mean everything. It changes the way you samba.  I sorted my shit out after that point…and I knew that I could do it.

This year, ‘The Gods’ have shimmied some crazily successful people in my path…People who have all at some point made their dreams come true. I haven’t caught the hint previously, as wine runs through my system…YET, I’m getting it now and i’m certainly not distracted by nonsense. Don’t be distracted my nonsense. Have fun, but keep your eye on the prize. (And maybe buy a kitten. I feel like all good people have a cat.)

I smashed all these random brand deals today because i forced myself to dance to the beat, instead of throwing a pity party. I now have a book relaunch this year. (It’s the same as the one before, yet this time it will be rebranded, reshot, renamed, relooked at and delivered appropriately…and I’m organizing a tour. FUCK IT YEAH! Pull ya socks up dolls. Get with it.)

Then I was forced to hide Jelly Babies from Mel, as Firmonnell put them in my drawer, after sh heard Mel had put on a pound or something at her slimming world weigh in. In the end I gave her them anyway. I mean fuck it..(and i’m currently on a diet) but sometimes a chick’s just got to eat a bag of Jelly Babies. I used to hate them as a kid, but now I love them. It’s weird because when I was a teen, I was a really good ice skater and loved it. (ANYONE who was born in the 80’s and also born in Doncaster is good at ice skating. That’s all we could do for a pastime.)  BUT NOW, i’m terrified of a skate around. I feel the fear. Even my best friend Kat, who I did the Paris Hilton Show with on ITV2, ( yes…she is no longer with us and chose to leave life tragically…We were really similar, but just dealt with things differently..I think about it all  a lot. I’ve thought about her all night. She just wanted to feel love. I remember being fresh off the show and getting that call from Samuel to say that she had killed herself. I was on Edgware Rd in London outside the Hilton…and like the twat that I am, all i could think to do was call her phone continuously, in hope that she would answer. I even left her a voicemail. She wasn’t even alive. I loved her so much…yet I didn’t even cry until 3 months after when it hit me. It was an odd time, as I was living this weird, new celebrity ‘reality star’ lifestyle…and a person that i had just gone through the entire new chapter with…had found it all so difficult. The last thing she ever said to me, face to face, as we didn’t have a phone call afterward, was whilst we were at The Mayfair Hotel in London, with Paris Hilton, in her suite. weeks after filming the show. She couldn’t turn a tap on because she was so trashed and she turned to me, as we discussed my love life and told me that i’d know when I found the man of my dreams because he would re..teach me how to ice skate. I’ve told that story numerous times before. I’ve never yet met a boy who offered to do that. Lol. They offer a lot of things…but not a skate sesh.

I have nothing but good memories of that girl. A girl who was totally misunderstood at times. But I got her. I got it. And I showed her strength..when she felt weak. HOWEVER…not when she needed it the most…because I was so busy being a ‘star.’)

Tonight, I did nothing but enjoy what I have. I laid in bed with my baby buntings Ruby and Junior and like every night, when I snuggle them in, (because they also spend nights with their daddies, which is so important for their balance) everything hits pause for a while, as the world turns and we just talk about life. I ask them both individually about their day, what went on, how things made them feel…how they’re currently feeling…and they’ll ask me questions in return. I’m a laid back Mum, so I let them tell or ask me ANYTHING. I encourage them to express…

‘Mum, are you Chrissie Wunna?’

‘Am I a Youtube Baby?’

‘Why are your boobs like that?’

‘I can’t kiss older boys when i’m only six, can I?’

‘I love you mum..’

If I could give you any advice it would be to believe that you can do anything. Go for anything you want to do! When you doubt yourself, ask for help to get you back to ‘jolly’ so you believe you can. Dreams come true. Not all of them, but most of them if you try hard enough and focus. I see it happen everyday. Be who you want. Embrace it. Love who you want. Hide Jelly Babies. But most of all, DON’T WORRY.. Don’t worry about your future. Go with the natural grain of your talent and where life takes you. Anything can happen. I mean fuck! I’m making a name for myself right now (and i’ve done a lot of things 😉 ) by simply writing a diary of my life…It’s one story our of billions…but it seems to be working?

In this day of age, you can make anything happen….Have great people around you. Believe your not shit.

All will be okay….I can always feel it. There’s a magic in the air.

Message me on Instagram today. Chrissiewunna.