The 8 Hour Panic

Image may contain: 2 people, including Chrissie Wunna, people smiling, people standing

Right! Gosh! Yesterday was a jolly little nightmare. 🙂  Today, I was gonna go on about, how much of a nightmare it was. I don’t think I had ever been as stressed, in quite a  little while? I felt deserted and I was SO utterly stressed because i’m SO FAR up my own arse, it’s unbelievable.

However, it’s weird how when you sleep on something…as in close your eyes and let the world take a turn. It’s weird how, you can wake up, rub those fresh kitten eyes and see the funny side to it all. Be okay again.

I lived to tell the tale..and when you’re a blogger, who chats about life… that’s all that matters. 😉

So, all i’m going to say is, don’t get a lift somewhere and then leave your handbag, which holds everything you will need for the day, in someone else’s car by accident. It was my own fault, (even though I did initially try to blame my mistake, on everyone else.)

My purse, my money, my ID, my phone, my laptop, my life, any form of communication..my everything….went on a merry trip without me. I was left stranded, without being able to get a hold of anyone, with nothing at all, but the clothes on my back…

For a good 8 hours..

(And like I said, I struggled because I was SO UP my own arse.)

However, I know it doesn’t seem that bad, right? It isn’t that bad….until you LIVE IT and without notice.

For the first 2 hours, I was FUMING. It sucked balls. I was LIVID. But once you’ve done something, you can’t back track and make it right, can you!?!  You just have to deal with what’s going on, in the ‘right now.’ I mean, people saw me THUNDERING DOWN STREETS, in a mist of Wunna rage. Lol.  I couldn’t get a taxi, I couldn’t message anyone for help. I couldn’t make a phone call. I couldn’t buy myself out of trouble. I went to the library, to try and use their internet. I didn’t have fifty pence, to be able to use the computers. Lol.

I didn’t even have anything on me, to make myself look less ‘on my own’ and like I had a purpose. (This is what I found the hardest, because i’m someone who will always try to look fine, in the heat of trouble.) 

I was embarrassed.

I didn’t know what time it was? I didn’t know, how I was eventually going to get found? I threw a silent pity party…But I must’ve not wanted help, because people did stop and offer TO help…They stopped to help me a million times over. However, every single time they did, I refused it, with a..

 ‘no, no, no…i’m absolutely fine.’

I WAS NOT FINE.

It was a nightmare. Lol. I went from park bench, to park bench, to long pointless walks, to little sit downs, at each local…for 8 hours straight. There’s only so much you can find to do, without looking like a lost soul. I even made a daisy chain to kill time.

It was kinda like being homeless, yet with the comfort of knowing it was all nearly over and you did actually have a home to go to. (In fact, I never got complimented MORE, than I did yesterday.)

So, ofcourse, I felt sorry for myself…and I was actually more annoyed that I couldn’t work (which is something that I find comforting.) I couldn’t write the book, (after finally feeling motivated.) Yet, as time went by and the wind swirled around me…I realised how shallow I was being. I grew up a little. (This week, so far, has been horrific. The Gods, are trying to make me learn lessons, or something? It’s shit.)

But yes, people go through my yesterday…on a daily…Without being able to see a light at the end of the tunnel. I actually went through this in my 20’s in New York, remember? It was weird because during that time, which was much much harder, I never actually ‘pity partied’ once. Yet, that was because I was genuinely terrified. There was no time to waste of ‘worry.’ I had to find safety.

Yesterday, was great because it made me realise that I wasn’t actually in touch with real life, anymore. Which is something I harp on about all the time, right?

Knowing about something, is different to FEELING something. The text book version of an event, never offers you the same kind of value. You have NOT experience something AT ALL, until you yourself have lived it, walked that particular path and worn the shoes. No one is in a position to judge anyone, until they have actually experienced what it is like, to be them.

And as the saying goes and i’ve seen this posted a million times over, by some of my friends…

‘You only know my name, not my entire story. You know what you’ve heard, not what i’ve actually been through. If you were to walk in my shoes, you’d absolutely trip at the first step, mate.’ 

Not really too relevant to my ‘yesterday,’ as that was nothing. However, it’s always a great life lesson to learn.

My Mum found me nine hours later.

That’s what I love about Mums.. and to be honest the last few hours were completely fine. It was ace. I had the greatest banter, with the most hilarious people. We talked bloomers with Jill, who is so happy all of the time, she looked like she could be married to Santa. Then I talked about ‘boys holidays’ and how a ‘pants only’ party in Zante was probably not a good idea, with dudes called ‘Sam.’

Sam: ‘Well Todd says, he’s throwing a ‘Pants Only’ party in Zante. But he hasn’t thought it through, has he? I mean, what chicks are gonna show up to that? None. It’ll just be a massive sausage fest…. just a group of lads..’

Me: ‘..in speedos and tight undies.’

Sam: ‘He’s Southern though, in’t he! He’s soft. Haha.’

I loved it!

When my Mum did actually find me and I had every faith that she would! You’d think she’d ‘baby’ me and treasure my sorry ass soul.

TOUGH LOVE MUCH!

Mum: ‘I don’t feel sorry for you. (Cheers!)  I knew you’d be okay. (Oh! Dandy!) You always are. (Today was shit.) I never have to worry about you. (Please do worry. I’m even worried.) You’re resourceful, once you’ve had your initial DIVA strop. (I’m fuming.) I’ve always said, I could catapult you to Timbuktu (please don’t) and you’d still find your way back home, or make a life for yourself there, with bells on.. But hurry up, i’ve got to pick up your brother (my darling, adored, little brother…) He needs me.’

I nearly exploded, like  a RAGING, CONFETTI GLITTER BOMB. But I didn’t. I’m swaggier than that. I’m coooool. I took life on the chin and ordered a cocktail.

Got home. Enjoyed every single second of, just being MUM. Let it all go. I posted a couple of ‘pity party’ Insta stories, to make myself feel better. After baby bed time. I cracked open a giant bottle of wine, got into the comfiest of comfies and flicked on ‘Love Island.’

That was yesterday.

Today, I’m meant to start my book. Instead the kids have Sports Day.

This week, is a nightmare.

 

Doing Life, Ambition & Stress

Image may contain: Chrissie Wunna, standing

Hope you  ALL had the most beautiful day with your Fathers, or celebrated ‘fatherhood’ in any way you felt necessary, be they still here with you, away with life ‘dandies,’ or even if you’re a father yourself. I hope it all went well. If it didn’t, never mind, eh! As long as you’re positive or honest, about your situation, you’re always gonna be okay. 😉 That can take time. But once you’ve got it, you’re sailing!

Yippppeeee!

I had a big old ‘lunch off’ and family day with my delicious Pops. The Wunna’s are a really close family and well, i’d say that i’m the ‘apple’ of my little Daddy’s eye.

(He once visited me in LA, many years ago and told my lawyer/party boy roommate to look after me, because if anything happened to his ‘Pride & Joy’ he would hold him directly responsible. Lol Yet, on the softer side, when I returned home ,after a huge Hollywood spell of ‘almost decade,’ he burst into tears because he was so happy I was safe and well.)

Y’know, my Dad, has never ever shouted or raised his voice at me once. He’s either talked me through things, so laid back that he’s horizontal,  or just pretended that the bad things have never happened….I can’t decide which one? My Mum, on the other hand, makes up for his lack of ‘shouty.’

I really ‘lucked out’ in the ‘Parent Department.’ I know that. And every single minute of every day, even when we wind each other up, i’m truly grateful for them. I dread to think of a life without them! They’re my little ‘ninja’ parents..My absolute rocks. It’s the same with Ruby & Junior. ( If you follow this, you’ll know I’m a single mum. But I LOVE being a single mum. It makes me feel powerful and I like to feel MIGHTY. Both babies spent the day with their Daddy’s. Junior was somewhat reluctant to shimmie over to his. Ruby, however adored it.)

I missed them both…MADLY. (The babies, not the daddies. Haha.)

Just so you know, I’ve bloody worn tiny shorts and no sleeves today, with ‘sunnies,’ because my phone told me that it was going to be a SCORCHIO. I’m sat on a bench, in a park, with a pink laptop on my knee, pretending to be nice to dogs that look like sausages, in the freezing, windy cold! I can’t even style it out. I look like a rebellious and somewhat constipated Geisha, that’s been dipped in Hawaiian Tropic and got caught up in a casual Hurricane.

Honestly, what is wrong with me? Why can I never get it right! I hope for sun soon. I’m far too exotic and scowly today, for even an occasional GUST of wind. It’s so windy, I could DIE of shivers.

Okay,  i’ll cut crap…

So, yesterday, you’d think.. with all my free time, I’d spend the day attempting to write that book. I keep rambling on about. The one that I only have 2 months in total, to complete. I didn’t do it, did I? I know it’s there and has to be done. Yet I keep pretending it’s not ‘PENDING’ away…If i’m honest, I have NO CLUE WHAT I’M DOING. I even have a Tutor and been threatened with a ‘Writers Colony.’ J It’s not like I don’t write, or haven’t written a book before?? I just can’t find my *swing.* I can’t find my *swagger.* Maybe I left it at Issho, after table sake?

But ah well…Even bit of me is confident that I’ll find it. HONEST.

Instead, I took selfies, (agent’s nightmare.) Went on walks. Almost bought ceramic unicorns. Stared at a pond. Shunned the advances of boys. Added to my Insta story. Dropped my  phone on my face, mid selfie, (it caused me to bust my lip a little.) I scrolled Twitter for ‘Love Island’ updates. I swung garden chimes, with my Mum, simply because we were bored. I baked a cake (did I **** bake a cake…haha.) Rode a donkey (that might have happened) and THEN BALANCED half a can of Fosters ON MY LITTLE BURMESE HEAD!!

I KNOW!  Skillz! How am I single!!

This was totally inspired by my good friend ‘Hustle Barbie’ who decided to send me a *Snap* of her balancing a PINEAPPLE on her head. (Cos’ we’re normal like that. I mean, for such so called ‘pretty girls,’ you’d think we’d have better things to do, like ignore DM’s from shirtless boys. 😉 ) But no. During HER free ‘still single’ time, she dedicated it to Tom Foolery.

However, being the competitive swine that I am, I didn’t watch and adore, with simple giggles. I decided that I could do it too.

ANYTHING YOU CAN DO, I CAN DO IT…..TIPSY.

I flipping, did it though! 13 minutes later, my ‘socials’ were filled with videos of me balancing a Foster’s Can, on my head, like a champion. (I did send ‘Hustle’ a personal video. I don’t respond to my real life friends via public story. Honest! lol..Well, unless, it’s by accident, a bit rude and maybe involves a Toberlone.) I had a Toberlone ice cream yesterday and it ruined my life, because my head was dazed with Katy P’s, MADE UP ‘Duty Free Toberlone’ story, that involved my vagina.

Every bite made me gip. You can still enjoy one though because your mind is CLOUDED with filth.

Hustle: ‘We’re like the perfect girls. We have boobs AND we’re good at balancing things..’

Me: ‘Well..sort of..’

Later through the evening, ‘Firmonnell’ sent me a video of ‘Hustle,’ on her sofa.. attempting to balance a FULL wine glass of GIN, equipped with floating berries… ON HER HEAD. The video was SO worrying, that I was tense with anxiety and screaming…

DON’T YOU DARE SPILL THE GIN….

..at my phone. (She always has to take it one step too far. I don’t think I can be her friend anymore? ‘Almost’ spilling gin, is as foolish as the art of ‘always telling the truth.’ It breaks the Wunna Land code of conduct. It’s not cool and it’s certainly not ‘gangsta.’ ‘Ere me now.)

However, life is there to be played with. It’s such a wonderful thing, even the bad times. They say the bad times, make you tougher. They keep you in good stead for whatever lies ahead. You never know what’s gonna happen to you? However, be it good or bad, if you ‘skill’ yourself up emotionally, you’ll be able to handle your next step, your next chapter, with the vigor of RuPaul.

Even if it’s utterly harsh, the quicker you feel it, get back up and then proceed to be play, with the tough times… the better. As soon as you enjoy life, understand life and don’t let it suck the *b’jeebies* out of you…The sooner you’ll find your ‘happy.’ Your strength.

‘Hustle’ actually posted a quotey paragraph yesterday. (Y’know how people do. I posted ‘Lovers Gonna Love’ on Saturday. My gay friend posted ‘Soup of the Day is Tequila.’ Blah. Blah. Jollies.)

Well Hustle, posted a paragraph. It stated that our own development as a human, is what made us happy. How we progress as a human. How we actually learn life. That’s what makes us proud of ourselves, in the end. It also suggested that we not place our happiness in the hands of others. People do it all the time…don’t they? I have, at times. Y’know, whether they’re waiting for a proposal, a job acceptance letter, trying to impress the masses, worrying about being judged, or pining for simple praise, or attention from a boyfriend, girlfriend or parent…Anything!

When you do that…you no longer have control of your happiness. You pass it on, like a parcel, yet the music never stops.

Now, I always ‘twicker’ on about how POWERFUL I feel. And like I said earlier, I’m someone who loves to feel powerful. Yet, that power, doesn’t come from anything material. ( I do love the finer things in life, yet I don’t LIVE FOR THEM. I’m actually a girl who loves the simple things, just as much. I couldn’t be more in touch with the real world.) I mean,  I could also make tons and tons and tons of money. (It wouldn’t make me feel powerful at all. No matter what, I’ll always get by. I work really hard.)  I could be so in love. (I’m single…and still, I couldn’t be happier.) Or so so successful,l that I couldn’t even nearly shake fame off me. (What i’ve learnt from life is that recognition for your talent and hard work, feels great. That isn’t ‘FAME.’ That’s personal accomplishment. The ‘fame game’ brings you more problems than it’s worth, at times… unless you play it well, use it wisely and benefit from it financially. Even then, you’ll still go through shit.)

I feel powerful because at 37, I feel like a successful human. I wasn’t always a successful human. Yet, that’s the point. I grew…and Karma IS a bitch. But Boy, have I DEVELOPED. I’m really happy with who I am now. I feel comfy, in my own skin. What I like what I am and what I stand for! I chose my own ‘happy.’ No one can take that away from me and because of that FEELING, I can walk into a room and RADIATE, almost GLOW of an energy, that swirls through the souls of others, like magic.

I understand people. (I’ve been people.) I understand life. (I’ve experienced so many different walks of it.)  I really LOVE being me and truly LOVE every piece of my world, because I picked it myself. I’m an alright person. I can see loneliness in others, even when they have that ‘100 watt’ smile on. (I’ve been there. We all have.) I can see kindness in people, when the masses have ruled them out as a ‘villan.’

I understand that… no matter what….I’m still just this tiny little dot….on a GIANT EARTH BALL of gazillions, doing this ‘shimmie’ called life. I always see the bigger picture and when you TRULY do, you quit letting the ‘niggles’ stress you out.

So if I could leave you with two lil’ tings of what I know about life right now, it would be to make the most of your time, WITHOUT WORRY…BEFORE you have no time left. We can worry about anything, everything, can’t we? It literally makes NOTHING better, at all. It creates stress. Both my folks are Doctors and even THEY say, you can break every bone in your body and nothing hurts more than a broken heart, a broken soul, or being lost in a fuzzy gather of stress.

And if you DO anything today…..Be the reason somebody smiles…

The smallest things, make people BEAM.

( I tried to teach Ruby that yesterday…But she kept ignoring me and telling me she was going to be a psychic.)

ps/ I live for ‘Love Island’ this year and i’m so excited by the ‘fresh girl meat’ and thrilled with my personal winner Adam Collard!

ALL THE FIRE! Let’s play love!

 

 

Retail Therapy & Writing Books on Dating..

Image may contain: 1 person, smiling

A bit of ‘Retail Therapy.‘ A bit of ‘buying me some love.‘ A bit of filling my soul with the beautiful art of ‘purchase.’ A bit of swanning around a department store, Dior counter, in order to feel lost in a powdery haze of well lit glamour, is on the cards for me today.

It’s a treat ya’self. Don’t cheat ya’self kinda weekend.

(A boy once slid me a note that read exactly that, when we were on a modelling gig in Palm Springs, back in the day. he had a really bog ‘fro.’ I can’t at all remember his name. He was actually a decent human and the note was a joke. Plus, he had exceptional ‘comedy timing’ as he noted me, when I was IN THE SHOWER and naked.)

To say yesterday could’ve ended up somewhat ‘rubbishy,’ (and the result was ‘rubbishy,’)  I actually had a really great time. I took it all on the chin and pretty much managed to get some work done, catch up with friends, by inflatable unicorns and wooden panels and spend the rest of my day waiting…. in a cocktail bar.

Life could’ve been worse.

Anyway, to ease my pain, i’m filling my purchasey pockets with wondrously girly…shite today. I need lots of little treats that will save my soul from a mental breakdown.

I couldn’t at all sleep last night, because my minds under this crazy pressure. I know that I said that I like working under pressure, but I obviously lied.  I’ve now got 2 months to write, a completely different book and like I was saying to ‘Newly Married‘ Vicki…. (I love you by the way, thank you so much for believing in me always.) Anyway, she dashed me with bright ideas, encouraged me with all of her strength and then bloody left me to swim to some pool bar, during her honeymoon…

I KEEP running away from writing the book because i’m intimidate by it.

I don’t know where to start? But I should know where to start…I’m a writer?

Vicki: ‘Start from the middle and go from there..’

Any excuse that I can find to distract myself from book writing I will. And maybe it’s because I don’t believe I can do it? But i’m not like that by nature. So technically, I don’t know what’s up with me? Maybe all the Peroni’s have literally meandered through my soul and made me feel real life? Lol. Maybe I feel ‘one my own’ with this project? Maybe, I am scared that it won’t do well…? But I’m not scared of anything? (Except, sausage dogs.)

The first book to get ‘shopped’ will be a DATING book. A ‘How to‘ book. Not that I qualify ‘on paper.’ Yet, I certainly qualify when it comes to experience…and in my mind THAT IS ALL THAT MATTERS. The reason for it being a ‘dating book,’ will become apparent to you shortly…Yet, at the same time, I write about life every day and to me, our love lives are such an important part of our existence.

My newly single, chick bestie ‘Firmonnell’ has moved ‘Hustle Barbie’ into her home temporarily. They’re both really close friends of mine…and ‘Hustle’s’ actually single now too. I think she went on some date with a dude in the woods or something?

Wow! That sounds safe! 🙂

We’re obviously such catches. Lol. Whenever ‘Hustle’ goes out with the girls, she comes home mud riddenly filthy. I don’t even know how? She would’ve been to Angelica’s not Old Macdonald’s goddamn farm. So i’m sure her date in the woods, went well. Sure she looked like a Pagent Queen…TO BE BEGIN WITH.

Anyway, ‘Firmonnell’ was seeing if I wanted to hang out with her yesterday…Yet, she knew that I couldn’t or wouldn’t…so presented it to me like this…

‘Are you doing anything Friday, because you can come to mine for drinks? I thought i’d message you first, so you could give me the first brush off..’

And I did. Successfully. Lol. I even replied with a..

‘Brush off complete..’

Like I said, this year, i’m such a shit friend. But not really ‘in heart,’ because I love them all so madly, I treasure them… but certainly when it comes to actual real life appearances. Haha.

Yet, your good friends and your perfect boy/girl love matches will always understand that.

I’ve got a goal and a lot of work I need to do to get there and i’m much closer than I thought I could be to that goal again…So right now, like I always say, i’m going back IN, to not only take what’s mine, but to take all the things that everyone said I could never have.

That’s fighting talk to say i’m a kitten.

(Did, I say ‘kitten?’ Sorry…I meant BITCH.)

Talking about bitchiness…I’m really glad Hayley’s been booted off ‘Love Island.’ Not because she was nasty, but because she was having a bit of free telly ride, without playing the game. You can’t go on Love Island and not DO the ‘love’ part. You can’t shun every single boy and think you’re gonna stay on the show. It’s not, ‘I can’t find a connection’ island and it’s certainly not how reality tv works. Cya Darling!

Glad that i’ve got that off my chest.

Big family day today. I’m really close to my family and with it being Father’s day tomorrow, we’re gonna celebrate being The Wunna’s ALL weekend. It’s what we do. Both Ruby and Junior will be with me all day and I think, as per usual…we’re headed to Doncaster. Ruby’s still bandaged up. (She had a bicycle accident.) And Junior is embracing his family time, with all of his heart. For some reason now, he’s always scared to go to his Dads?

Junior: ‘Please don’t send me there tomorrow. It’s Father’s day and Dad hates Father’s day. I’m scared.’

Luckily the kids are dandy because they have MASSIVE Wunna Land back up. It’s certainly a land run by woman, where the guys are always the bit parts, waiting in the wings.

I’m actually going through another new chapter right now, where you’re going to get to see a really different side to me…Operation ‘Clean Up My Act’ is en route…

Firmonnell: ‘Sounds really dull.’

Hahah. 😉 Love her.

See ya soon!

Thank you for following my life…

FYI/ I’ve written all of this BLIND and without my contact lenses in. I’ve looked like a half naked, 90 year old, horny bat, all the way through it.

Hope that’s made you feel sexy!

Cheers.

 

 

‘Hustle’ is a vegan, she has a pineapple on her kitchen table.

Me: ‘Aww. That’s so cute. She can ***can’t tell you what I actually said*** and then cute to raw pineapples slices afterward.’

 

Learning Life as I go along & a Cactus

Image may contain: Chrissie Wunna, smiling

Aww! Today I was gonna *boast* about how happy I am! How free I’m feeling! How *dipped* in independency and swirled in ‘doing my own, diddly do,’ I am. How lucky that little old ‘life dice’ has been rolled, for me. How great my ‘Talking Heads’ 😉 ¾ hairpiece is making me look, to say I didn’t have time to wash my hair, this morning.

Then *chugga,chugga,chugga* the left back wheel of my car decides to not turn and *yippadeedoo,* I’m all broken down again.

Hurrah! *Can Can* kicks all around. And ‘balls’ to it. Let’s throw in a jazzy conga line.

Away from that, exciting things are happening. Breaking down was actually fine. It forced me to have to take a wee little stroll, distant from work, whilst delivering an opportunity to actually ‘smell the roses.’ I forget to. I OFTEN do. And I’ve noticed that at times, I’ll sort of live in the past. I’ll look back and have a cosy ‘dwellathon,’ instead of marching forward. (I have the word ‘MARCH’ tattooed on my inner right arm & yes it is the last name of a boy I met in LA, who I never actually dated J..However, now, whenever I look at it, it reminds me to stride forward.) You shouldn’t look back, you might trip over feelings. You can do that when you’re 80, because by that time, ‘looking back’ and memories, will be all you have.

OR YOU COULD BE ORDERING 102 CATS LIKE MOI, SO YOU CAN SIT AND CRY IN A LONELY BEDSIT.

I’ve also notice that when you CRAVE an outcome, a result, that you can’t actually control and you do it without patience. It can be in work, in love…or anything? (Do know that I am not naturally a patient person. I’m certainly someone who wants, what I want…and kinda wants it NOW. Lol I don’t like things that are too hard to get and I’ve only LEARNT to be patient of recent, because I’m a child. J ) When you find yourself doing that…You’re living in the future and although i’m a stickler for dreaming and turning dreams into a reality. Y’know ‘grafting the grind’ to get to where you want to be…It’s just not a healthy shimmie of ‘ooh laa,’ is it? It sprinkles a shower of stress, on your merry kitten soul, which absorbs through your system before..

 EATING YOU ALIVE!!

CALL THE DOCTOR!

So, I guess…. RIGHT NOW, THIS MINUTE, THIS MOMENT.. is ALL that matters. It’s the people who can appreciate where they currently are, with an utter comfortable happiness, that stay balanced, emotionally well and therefore get the opportunity wiggle their hand, over that juicy little ‘success button.’

It’s hard, innit? But it’s true. And the clichéd.. ‘You could walk out onto the street today and get run over by a bus,’ thing, is a saying that we’ve all heard people chirp out. ..every chirpy day. We hear it! We never really absorb it! We don’t really think it would happen! So  we don’t at all care!

But STOP PRESS… it could..

So, if I could teach you anything, from how I’m feeling about my life right now, at a jolly 37 years old..It would be, to make sure that you DO TRY to appreciate the present..This little minute. It’s good for the soul…and makes Pina Coladas be a delicious act of merriment, rather than a reason to drown those sassy sorrows.

I shouldn’t go on walks should I! Haha.  I sound like flipping ‘Dolly Do Gooder.’

Spreading cheer, every day! Where’s the RUM??

Anyway, like I said, lots of exciting work things are happening. I always say that, and stop.

I’ve put my love life on hold, because it never seems to be my forte. It never makes me happy, because I never find my ‘Hero,’ do I? I’m not ready to! I’m happy as I am and I’m fully concentrating on work…on Wunna Land. MY Land. I feel quite fulfilled. But I feel like I have my hands full, already!

Guys, never make life easy on you, do they? Plus, let’s face it, I don’t really fancy a dollop of heartbreak, right now. It only sends me to the nearest bar, to cry into a cocktail afterward. I’ve got used to being SO unlucky in love, that it doesn’t even make me cry anymore. Which is a positive. Haha. It doesn’t even bother me. I can now, quite happily, read a message, hear a ‘no,’ feel a ‘nah, babe’ and casually move it along, whilst Salsa Dancing.

AND THAT MY DOLLS, IS SUCH A DELICIOUS SUPER POWER.

I’m back on your telly shortly. I’m auditioning. I’m working really hard. I’m currently doing a lot of waiting…That’s why I rambled on about patience earlier. Lol. I’m not a good ‘waiter.’ I’m a GO GET IT, with BZINGA, kinda girl.  I’m writing a lot for people.  I’m lucky, because i’m getting to ‘article’ and express for all kinds of brands, in diary form, which is just something that I was kinda born to do. I think, i’d like a really popular column one day. Saying that, I have a popular blog, a space in cyber land, already, which is serving me pretty well. I’m still watching Love Island, yet it’s getting a bit ‘vanilla’ now. I only like it when there’s ‘drama, drama, drama,’ eliminations and a ‘What has Adam done now,’ episode. That definitely means i’m sick. But I love that about me. I’m the squeezed lime in your Corona.

Influencing is going well. But I’m putting time to one side, because i’m actually currently writing a book. I’m writing it myself and I’m never gonna hit the deadline. It’s had to be pushed back and pushed back, sooo many times, that my agent is fuming and ‘shitting all kinds of literary bricks.’ The funny things is, it’s only a re release and redition of my previous book, so you’d think i’d have it easy. I must like to make things…I’d prefer to say ‘tings,’ hard for myself. I enjoy working under pressure. Leave me to my own devices and I’ll just go off, have a rummy cocktail, chat to friends, take the babies to the zoo…literally anything but sit and write the goddamn book. J

I’ve just taken a picture of a cactus. I have no clue why? But I’m currently blogging from Ackworth Garden Centre, at their coffee shop. In case you didn’t know, a CACTUS, is actually my favourite thing to buy a date….early on in ‘the tango.’

I once bought a boy one, during a ‘hotel night’ date. It was our third date.. It looked like a penis and he loved it so much, he left it there. Haha. I prefer it when they save the Cactus and treasure it forever. It’ll remind them of their prickly time with me. He was a douche anyway and I’m never one to ever say someone is a DOUCHE, unless they really are one. (You know who you are.) That was years ago by the way. I’m like a Villan who leaves ‘Cacti’ across lands, whilst evil laughing.

Right, i’m off now. I’m hoping my car’s fixed soon. I’m SO GLAD IT’S THE WEEKEND and I’ll be spending it ALL, with my little ‘charms,’ my babies..Ruby & Junior. When I was driving them to school this morning, I shouted out…

‘Ruby…Junior…I love you both SO MADLY.’

They paused….’Freaky Friday’ was playing in the background and they just BURST INTO, the most joyous fit of laughter…Then told me my boobs look like ‘coconuts.’

Then we broke down. Haha. I wouldn’t have it any other way.  😉

Thank you for following my life…

 

 

Just a Quickie, Weddings & Love Island

Image may contain: Chrissie Wunna, outdoor

Morning all! Right! I’m up early and getting ready. I’m off to my friend Vicki’s wedding today and I’m really excited to see a lady who deserves the world, finally be blessed with unconditional love, sprinkled with ‘I do’s.’ The ceremony’s at Selby Abbey.

Hopefully, i won’t walk in the joint and immediately burst into flames, or get swallowed up my the ground and shot straight to hell. But if I do…at least my dress made my boobs look good. (I have to wear an inappropriately ‘boobied’ dress because the one I wanted to wear I accidentally destroyed with hair dye. Yet, on the plus, it’s not THAT inappropriate. yeah it’s ‘boobied,’ but it’s not like i’m rocking up in a wedding dress myself. See! There are worse sins.) 

I’m meeting everyone at 10am sharp, at Rogerthorpe Manor. So I really need to be getting *glam squadded,* instead of writing this blog. The reception etc, is actually at Rogerthorpe this afternoon.

But GOD!

How good, was Love Island last night. I’m hooked. I told ya. But JEEPERS. I don’t think i’ve ever got bollocked by celebs and viewers MORE, for having an ‘Adam Collard’ crush. Strangers, Celeby DJ’s, Reality Stars and Athletes for Great Britain lol, were all tweeting me scorning me for being so foolish…. Lol

GB Alex: ‘Cos he’s a prick.’

Benny: ‘Adam is the guy that texts girls at 3am, saying *YOU UP BABE.*

Hahahah. (Remind me not to talk to those boys.) 

But, me being the delightfully stubborn bit of kitten, that is swirled in Summer crushing…doesn’t care. To me…He’s amazing.He’s slick. He’s smart. He’s hot. Plus, I love ‘snakes’ 😉 (that’s what everyone’s calling him) and he loves cougars…(that’s me,) so it’s basically a match made in Heaven. I don’t at all get, why everyone hates him, right now?? He’s absolutely THE BEST Islander.

YOU HEARD IT HERE. Lol. I’ll date ya boy!

Even ITV2 followed me at one point, because I crushed so badly. Hahah. I’m so sad, it’s delicious. He’s literally the only one doing anything worth watching. So balls to ya all.

TEAM ADAM ALL THE WAY.

The good thing is that more dudes will be strutting in and giving him a run for his money. It’s literally the Adam show and he’s done really well to OWN IT.

Y’know, the reason why I adore Love Island, is that is actually brings people together, the NATION together as one big juicy whole….and anything that does that, is wonderful, wonderful thing. It makes people communicate, feel…and because LOVE is the number ONE thing that matters to everyone in the enter world.

Right, this can only be short, because I really do need to sort myself our and get myself ready and Junior’s running around in nothing but pants hurtling tea sets through walls and shit.

I’m really looking forward to relaxing and letting my hair down a bit today. I hope she doesn’t mind that my dress is all ‘tits out.’

Love you,

Godda run,

Chrissie x

Banter, Love, Fights & Sexiness

Why don’t people talk anymore? Why are we stuck in a time warp, where people are unable to communicate effectively without fear? Maybe it’s because we’re all so ‘social media’ these days, that we haven’t even realized we’re cutting ourselves away from real life interactions? I love a bit of ‘social’ and I hate it when people are so behind and don’t use it. Yet, I’ve godda admit, part of me is super traditional, and it’s important to still touch, feel, see and smell people.

I’ve made that sound creepy, by accident. Yipppee!

I’m a chatter. (In case you didn’t notice.) I’m a talker. (In case you couldn’t hear me boos.) I like to EXPRESS because I think it’s healthy (oooh, healthy, healthy chop chops) and i’m not AFRAID of anything …except sausage dogs. (They’re creepy as ****) I’m a problem solver, not a deliberate creator of ‘hiccups.‘ 😉

Hurrah!

Yet, what i’m noticing more and more, is that less and LESS people, of THIS generation, areface to face’ chatting, or even making a simple phone call to talk things through. People are really quick to throw each other away these days, without giving something, or someone….(that was once a treasure, a great find,) a real shot. I don’t like it. Everything that’s worth something, takes a little work…and with a little love, a delicious bit of nurture….you could really create something beautiful.

(Do know when I’m talking about the ‘throwing away‘ bit, instead of nurturing. Nurturing only counts if the position you’re in, is worth it. Otherwise, your ideal bet, is to REFRAIN from making the best out of a BAD BARGAIN. )

Right, I’m gonna quit being Mother Teresa right now and get with it.

Let’s SHIMMIE YO…

I’m in a mood today, because i’m tired. I woke up at 3am and I couldn’t get back to sleep. My mind was just ticking away… ticking away. I don’t know what’s wrong with me? But I can’t wait for a nap.

Love Island needs to spice itself up right now. Nothing’s happening? I only watch it to perv on Adam. And everyone on Twitter is having a go at him for snogging ‘New Girl Rosie,’ (oh the drama) when he’s with Kendal? 🙂 (Dying)

Darlings, it’s a GAME, on the TELLY. It’s not REAL. He’s not really with Kendal. They’ve known each other 3 days. He can smooch whoever he wants. I say ‘GO FOR IT.‘ In fact, it’s weird because ALL the girls in there are not being really affectionate, or handling things with a sexy disposition. Maybe because they’re 20 something??? Apparently they don’t ‘spoon’ on the first bed share. Lol. Errrugh. How dull. Moving on. Stop being ‘Vanilla.’

*Rolls Eyes.*

What else? I had another audition yesterday. A last minute one. So hopefully that went okay and i’m at a wedding tomorrow. I don’t usually like going to weddings, (I’m always a Bride and never a guest. Hahah.) Not this time though! Thank Goodness! Yet i’m looking forward to it. I’m in the mood to watch love being celebrated. I reckon, I can handle it before weeping into my gin, right?

‘Hey! Have a sip of mine It comes with TEARS!’

Plus, weddings are great because everyone drinks far too much and flirts with everyone It causes chaos. I love chaos.. in frocks.

What now?

‘The Swirl’ who i’m going to actually rename. What can I call him? Since we’re no longer ‘swirling?’ I’m gonna call him ‘T.Bone.’ No? Yeah. That’ll do for now. Anyway, he sent me a message yesterday…a boring one, not a fun one…in regards to listening to some business call. I ignored the message at first, because I kinda didn’t find it interesting. Lol. Then hours later, I felt bad, so I did what the message said and tuned it.

When I say ‘tuned in,‘ I logged into the call, put it on loud speaker, placed my phone to one side, because that was even duller than the initial message and just watched Love Island instead. Hahaha.

But at least I tried. I just didn’t find it very motivating. It was boring.

People are motivated in different ways…lectures are not mine. I’m really ambitious, yet i’m alive and motivated when i feel passion and that comes via love, money, entertainment, or creativity. You can’t BORE me to death and expect me to be excited.

Away from that, you know i was telling you all to go stalk my mate ‘Trigg’s’ instagram (@SimonTTrigg) because he’s easy on the eyes and a treat for the grown up gal. He’s 42, handsome, ex pro footballer and now works in property investment. I *tagged* him in my Insta post yesterday, and I always do tag my friends in, when I’ve mentioned them openly…and if they don’t have a ‘secret nickname.’ Like ‘T Bone.’

Anyway, he sent me a message straight away, after reading the blog, saying…

‘I fancy you so so much. But I’m no comparison to Adam! Lol’

(As in ‘Love Island Adam.’ Haha. )

It made me smile because I like a bit expression. Especially when it’s lovey or sexy. (Yet respectful.) It’s like giving someone a ‘green light‘ to manoeuvre…. if they so wish.

It’s hot.

Older guys do that well. Much better than the young, don’t they? I think it’s mainly because they’re not as terrified. They’re braver. They’ve lived a little more and can’t be arsed to be messed about. I’m like that. I hate to be messed about.

I much prefer a guy who is brave, bold and direct. Y’know, one who is able to express how he feels fearlessly and waits to see what will happen as a result…

It’s sexy.

And if a guy’s not direct, i’ll just think that he’s not interested in me and instead found someone else that he much rather be with. But that’s why I always say, I much rather chat something out, as I hate playing the ‘guessing game.’ To me friendship and love is about making people feel happy or comfortable and not about keeping them on edge.

[Sorry I got really distracted and started watching ‘old school’ Jersey Shore episodes on my phone. It was one of my favourite shows ever. Every bit of me loves it. Americans do reality tv, so much more panache because they do the job they’re hired to do and they don’t waste time worrying about what people will think. And you would for $100,000 per episodes. I know! Good dollar!]

Where was I?

Whatever, I’ll just leave you with what my fave Jersey Shore clip..It actually kinda calms my soul…Which is weird on all levels. It gets good. Hit Play!

Thank you for following my life!

Chrissie, x

 

 

Let’s Get a Bit Inspirational….& Pervy :)

Image may contain: Chrissie Wunna, outdoor

I’ve just got out of an audition, so I’m all pumped and juiced. I love auditioning. I find it really fun. When I was a kid in LA, I used to be terrified, when it came to ‘audition’ day. Yet, after only a few weeks, my friends and I found that we were on around 4 auditions a day, all over LA, for all different shows. I remember, I had The OC, ER, Charmed & A Glamour Magazine, in one day. My other friend had Will & Grace, What I like about you, The OC & CSI. And we’d be dashing through Hollywood, with our ‘sides’ (that’s what you call your audition script) making sure we were prepared and not late. I didn’t really have time to be nervous anymore. Nerves were a waste of time. I had one shot. One read. That read could end up booking me that job. It could change your life. And it did.

I’m back in the UK though now. Have been for years and I’m loving it. The last audition I went on. I booked it. That will air shortly. I did one this morning and loved it, so we’ll see how that goes.

You’ve godda give it you’re all. And I never care what anyone thinks. I’ll go for it.

I mean what’s the point in moaning about getting work, staying in work or whatever else it is you can muster, if you can’t be arsed to put in the effort.

Anything can happen at anytime. More people need to believe that.

If you don’t think so ,you’ve lost FAITH IN YOURSELF. and you shouldn’t because you’re beautiful. No one can do YOUR VERSION of life better than you. I say it all the time. Don’t look over your shoulder at what everyone else is up too. Concentrate on your life, your game, your passion, your strut and go back and get everything that they said you couldn’t have!

I was so excited to perv on Love Island, Adam last night, that my excitement got the better of me, I ran out of excited energy and fell asleep after an exciting garden wine. I’m so shit at being a perv. I mean , If I can’t even do that, then Lord Help my rotten soul. Being a perv is such a brilliant ‘old school’ past time. It’s easy.

Couldn’t do it for toffee though could I!

I’m actually loving Dr.Alex now on Love Island, because I’m feeling really bad for him. I hate that people keep treating hi shitty. But i’m sure the magical world of TV has something up their delicious, no scripted lol, sleeve.

WHOOOPPPPEE!

Whatelse? Oh yeah, some maungy girl, sent me an evil message today and insulted my boobies. Don’t bother. Be smarter. Pick anything but the boobies, because they’re obviously such a ‘Chrissie Wunna‘ strength. A weapon. They’re lethal, with googly eyes on. They drink shots and hypnotize folk. Do your boobs do that? No. Exactly.

So, be smart enough to say I have shit feet or something. It would’ve made me cry, into my prosecco, for a good half a second.

YAWN!

I’m at a wedding on Saturday, so I’m really excited for that. Definitely don’t have a dress. Definitely going to end up leaving it to the last minute. But I fancy wearing lemon. Not A LEMON…as that would just be awkward.

‘Chrissie, why have you come as a piece of fucking fruit?’

In Summer, lemon is my favourite colour. I also like boys who can totally rock pink. But do it so well, that it makes all the girls dribble.

I hope my audition went well? I need something to eat now.

My friend ‘Trigg‘ sent me a message yesterday, apologizing for working so much etc etc…People don’t need to say sorry for doing life or their choices. But when you’re a grown up and working so much, you’re loaded with stress by the buckets on occasion and it’s hard to make time for people isn’t it?

I totally get that. I have the same problem. And our lives are manic. We’ll get around to a catch up.

Yet for those of you, who maybe don’t run busy lives or careers, DO KNOW to ALWAYS remember that someone’s effort is a reflection of their interest in you.

We as girls, and guys (at times,)we always make excuses for people, don’t we? But only when it comes to love. You’re love life is such a big thing isn’t it? It’s important. It motivates you. It makes you feel alive. But like i said in my last blog, I’m happy being single, yet i’m open to finding love. I’m just NOT BOTHERED about ‘coupling up’ with someone, who isn’t my going to be hero, my best friend or potential life partner/buddy/chum chum…whatever else you can bung in there.

I’m not arsed about the game of love. I want a man who’s not scared to chase love, show love, be loved. I like a man who knows how to get what he wants. It’s sexy. I want all boxes ‘ticked.’ And we all deserve that.

I mean, when you’re older. You know what you want. When you’re younger. You make excuses for all sorts and don’t really know as much as you think you do.

Well that was ME, anyway. It might not be you? But probably.

Right i’m off. I need to find a dress….

 

Kittens, Love Island & A Sexy Bit Of Adam Collard!

 

Morning! Morning! Happy Tuesday! God! Last night, at around 10pm, Ruby came into my room. She couldn’t sleep because she was too hot. I opened the window and she heard tiny ‘meowing.’ Then she screamed..

‘IT’S ROCCO..’

Remember we lost our kitten, on that really shocking Friday I had. It was filled with utter disaster..and I thought it would never end. Lol.

We both rush downstairs…Yet i have nothing on expect a yellow bra and knickers…Ruby is just in pants. We haven’t even thought to grab clothes or shoes, during our dash, because we wanted ‘Rocco’ so madly. Clothes didn’t feel like a priority.

At 10.10pm, last night, we ran outside, in the dark, half naked, in no shoes and finally got our kitten Rocco. back home, where he belongs. I wouldn’t have even cared if anyone saw me. My heart was just filled with a happy relief. Be it Kittens, friends or men…They always come back to Wunna Land. 😉

It was the most amazing experience. It filled us with utter joy. Rocco, is back in Wunna Land, and he is as happy as can be! He’s back to living it up!

Hurrah! Naked kitten saving all the way. It’s like being James Bond, but Asian, barefooted and in the nude. 

Away from that, i’ve been resting and working. I have some really great auditions coming up and some really great news. OK Magazine said that I’m tipped for the new series of ‘Celebs Go Dating’ because I said, I loved the show and was back on your  Reality TV Screens shortly.. They also stated that I was ‘coy’ about whether I would be finding love on the reality show. I enjoy being called ‘coy’ simply because i’ve been called a lot WORSE.

But I’m not gonna life. I do fancy a bit of ‘Celebs Go Dating.’ Yet, that isn’t the show that I’m on.

I’ve managed to meet up with KatyP for drinks. She’s lost her bank card and needs booze running through her system. I don’t know what we were talking about the other day, but something to do with how I hate horror movies and sausage dogs. (I never watch horror movies. I can’t stand feeling creeped out.) Weirdly, Julie & Golfer Jonny said that they watched some horror movie called ‘Carrie?’ Something like that anyway?

I was only half listening because Katy P and I were evil cackling about something far more entertaining…(like sex for money, who we’d like to have sex with once… and hobbit feet) but all that happened in the movie was some teenage girl called ‘Carrie’ goes in the shower, get’s her period, people start chucking tampons at her and shouting ‘plug it in?’ Eh? Then she kills everyone….

That’s not a horror movie. That’s just normal real life for a teen. She was just hormonal. Give the girl a break.

I’ve got a couple shoots to be doing and i’m so excited about the new bars and hotels that I am soon to be influencing. I’m also back in Sheffield towards to the end of the month, to revisit Kuckoo. (One of my favourite spots.) I’m actually doing, London, Leeds, Sheffield, York, Manchester, Nottingham, Spain & Newcastle. (Yet this time ‘on purpose’ and not because i just got off at the wrong stop.)

I’m feeling like the luckiest girl in the world.

A couple days ago, I was so lost. But just like that, I’m *popped* right back into action and it’s because I love what I do. I love working. I can’t be left to ‘rest’ unless my rest time is filled with love. I want to make something a bit special of myself…and there’s no shame in that. I know what i’m doing. 😉 (Yeah Baby!)

So watch me nooow!

Oh! I’ve been invited to ‘Da Marino’ in New York, to dine. I can’t remember if I told you that or not? But I have now.  It’s owned by the lovely Chris Noth, who plays ‘Big’ in ‘Sex and the City.’ They figured it was a good match, since a magazine did the ‘UK’s Carrie Bradshaw’ thing. (I know! What is my life!) And yes, again, i’m about to be back on your tv screens. I actually read an email this morning, confirming everything…and i’ve had to wait a really LOOOOOOOOONG time, for it to even almost air.

However, I’m a patient person. I’ve learnt lots in my time and you get what you’re meant to get, when you’re meant to get it. You don’t get what’s not for you. Everything happens at the right time. So I don’t rush anything, when it comes to work. When it comes to love, I’m open, but guarded. I wear my heart on my sleeve, yet these days control how I feel. But yes, be patient, in both love and work.

I mean in love, you can meet someone who’s perfect and if it’s not the right time, you won’t ‘magnet fix.

Yet, you shouldn’t be upset by that, simply because it’s not a bad thing.  Later down the road, be it weeks, months or years….the timing of it all could be much better…Life just needed you to meet earlier than ready…and they’ll always be a reason for that. That reason, you’ll find out.

I completely believe in that. You don’t meet anyone meaningful by accident.

Away from that, OH MY LORD, how HOT is flipping ADAM COLLARD! Jeepers! Peepers! That’s 109 Hail Mary’s from me. I’ll do time in Hell for him. I’m like GOSH! He’s the most attractive man my eyes have ever witnessed on the telly box, in AGES. If there’s a team. I’m on HIS!

HAHAHA! (Why am I such a perv?)

I mean, what girl wouldn’t want to wake up to a bit of Adam every morning! How is he that delicious!?! He’s like a chiseled piece of pie, that I just need to devour.

Even before Love Island aired last night, he was already my favourite. I tweeted it out because i’m waay ahead of my own loin game. Lol. But when he walked onto my TV Screen, he was UNREAL. Hotter than his Promo pictures! And that was it! I was sprung. I’m now hooked. Great casting! I’ll be addicted to Love Island for the rest of the Summer..

From the moment he sauntered into that Villa…That was it! I’m in absolute lust. (Which I always mistake for love. 😉 )

He’s 22 and looks like a grown ass man! What a GIFT!

Thank you Jesus!

But yes, I didn’t want to say it, but i’m delighted with Love Island. I’m already loving it, every little inch of it. I’m skipping the dull bits, I’m loving a bit of Dani Dyer & Jack. I actually like the Doctor. I come from a family of doctors, so I always have a soft spot for one. (Apart the Spanish one that I once dated who tried to *hump* me.) The funny thing is, that as soon as the girls find out he’s a Doctor, all of ‘magical’ sudden, he’ll seem more attractive. *Rolls Eyes.* 

I’m enjoying all the banter. But I’m LIVING for the half naked Adam Collard. Aren’t we all! Shower me in love potion much.

Happy ‘Collard’ Tuesday!

Chrissie x

 

Gino’s, Issho & A Bit of Bottega Milanese

Image may contain: Chrissie Wunna, close-up and outdoor

So, last week, I think it was Tuesday, after I shocked myself up, the night before, dashed off a train, only to find myself in Newcastle, which was of course wasn’t Leeds and of course completely the wrong stop! Yipppeee! I waited for ages, hopped back on a train and tinkered home, got in at around 1am…and woke up the next morning ready for work and lets face it, ready to ‘work it.’

*Wiggle, Wink.*

The city was Leeds. A city close to my heart. And my number of stop off’s, shimmied to THREE…and I LOVE it when I get to visit loads of my faves in one day. It gets me excited…and you get to watch it, as I place it on my Insta story…(which is the whole point to me going.)

I actually fooled myself into thinking that if I wore pinstripes and looked moderately smart, I wouldn’t feel as tired and everyone would think I was sassy and posh. Haha. But whenever, I do venture into the city centre, through the day…I always dress quite smart anyway, because it’s that kinda city. We’re quite eclectic, yes…But we’re also quite ‘bouji.’ There’s a sense of style, grace and fun…no matter what walk of life you head into the city from.

You’ll strut…not walk. You’ll pass shoulders with young professionals in suits. You’ll cross city streets next to PR girls in heels. Everyone is well turned out…The city is alive. Everyone’s filled with ambition and ready to make something glorious out of themselves…It is a ‘stop off for a cocktail at noon,’ kinda town.

And for someone like ME…What could be better.

Plus, I always walk through the city and never drive through it, simply because I can only FEEL IT and blog about it, when i’m immersed in the middle of it.

At around 12.30, I tottered into my favourite ‘daytime gig’, which is the Espresso bar ‘La Bottega Milanese.’ I go there all the time, when I fancy a bit of peace, yet fun, because the tunes in that joint are SO good. It’s sort of R & B ish, which you wouldn’t expect from such an airy, calm place of creativity.

I blogged from the high bench, hungover on Tuesday..and I usually always get there around 11.30am. (They also sell Prosecco and light treats, even though they are an award winning espresso bar. In case you didn’t know.) And I loved every single minute of being there, because every soul around you is doing something creative. I was sat next to a guy who was writing poems in a notebook and a girl, with a sketch book, who he didn’t know, who was drawing him.

I LOVE THAT!

And both parties were completely fine with it all, because we’re still Yorkshire. We don’t get worked up over the little things that make people happy.

To my left, was a business man, who was conducting a meeting with a suited GQ looking colleague and they were both in ‘commercial property,’ discussing a ‘closing’ of a deal. I was blogging, hungover in the middle, in my ‘don’t look hungover‘ pinstripe shirt. And if you were following my story, you will have been there with me. (Insta: @chrissiewunna.)

It got really busy at lunch time and that place filled up in minutes. But I already had another place to stop by. So I packed up my pink laptop and tinkered back through into the city. But yes, you all should stop by La Bottega Milanese.

‘A place for networking, relaxing and to be seen.’

You’re drinks are served to you in the most creative manner and the detail and design of the joint is perfection. I go there ALL THE TIME.

My next stop was Issho. Now you all now how much I adore Issho, at Victoria Gate. It’s located in the ‘bouji’ part of the city. You’ll pass Louis Vuitton, Harvey Nics, and everything in between. It’s my favourite Sunday Afternoon ‘roof top terrace’ spot. The place is beautiful, calm, yet busy with a sexy quiet lust, It’s Japanses. Stylish and a haven for a models, glamour pusses, footballers, wealthy families, or the money man…That’s the vibe and whenever I go…I’ll always order a cold sake, which is served to me, in a Japanese clay bowl, filled with ice, to keep it’s temperature correct, at all times.

The staff are the height of exquisite, when it comes to service and they’re also so much fun. I mean I was talking to Jack…(I think it was Jack or was it John? Lol) Anyway, he is originally from Romania, just moved to Leeds, from Manchester, now working at Issho and has been in the city for only 2 weeks. He was telling me how having your own place in a new city is amazing, because you can do whatever you want.

If you wanna walk around naked with a whisky, you can.

Yet being new to a city, on your own is difficult, but only at first, because Leeds is a city where you make acquaintances quickly. It’s not as cold as London, yet there’s still so much to do. But he was going to Everyman’s Cinema with his work colleague, who was also so much fun..Also so much banter..and offered to take me swimming. Lol.

Me: ‘Swimming?’

(You don’t need to take me swimming to see me in a bikini. Just Google my socials. Lol) 

Issho J: ‘Well why don’t you come to the cinema?’

Me: ‘I’m already booked to go next week, for work.’

Bottom line, lots of gentle fun, surrounded by all things stylish and Zen. I could have a Issho Sake now. (What time is it?) Love that palce. You should go.

My last stop was Gino’s. Owned by the delightful Gino D’Acampo. Everybody in the city knows that this is where you will always find me…as it is literally my favourite haunt..and I influence the the glories out of this restaurant/bar. I’ve been to them all over. The staff are hot Italian Gems. I could not get treated better in that place and it is a stylish, but warm, family, friend or date spot, kinda joint. It serves you all and when you’re in there, you FEEL good, like you’re in safe hands.

Probably why I like to go.

The quality of the drinks, service and food is divine. I mean, as soon as I walked in, straight away it’s air kisses, love from the managers and the warmest greetings as I’m  and walked to the bar. i don’t even have to order (I go there so much) and a Prosecco in a frozen glass will appears, in front of me. Immediately, before I even wink, the beautiful Italian lady behind the bar, winks and says,

‘I’ve ordered you the focaccia, breaksticks wrapped in parma ham with pesto and honey drizzled cheese. I know you’ll need a bar snack, you can have them with your drink, to compliment it. 

PERFECT! HOW GOOD IS THAT SERVICE.

Then later, I got talking to Francesco ( Insta: @francesecolapodl) who works behind the bar there…and I loved him because he was such a delight.

Francesco: ‘Where have you just come from?’

Me: ‘Issho…It’s great there.’

Francesco: ‘Is it! I’m looking for somewhere to take my girlfriend on a date. I’m looking for somewhere Asian. We did Sukhothai…

Me: ‘Yeah, I love it there. Issho’s Japanese. So it’s like sushi/sashimi…and lovely. It’s pricey though..’

He *winks*…because that’s  what the Italians do. Oh the charm. I love the charm. Haha. I mean you can’t stop adoring the staff at Gino’s…It’s almost like a perfectly cast show of style, glamour, and Italian family values.

Then with a smirk, he says…(and this part is SOOOO HOT LADIES…..His lucky girlfriend…)

‘I don’t mind pricey. 🙂 The price doesn’t matter to me at all, Chrissie. I work in the industry. I’m happy to pay over and over again. for good food, great service and good times, with my girlfriend.’

Francesco, please marry us all. We girls LOVE IT when guys are hot like that. And it’s not about the date,  or the simple cost of anything..and all about the fact that it’s such a MANLY…GENTLEMANLY…TRADITIONAL way to be. It’s attractive. And all girls find it attractive. He’s the man of his kingdom and can take care of his girl on every level, out of love, respect and good times.

I kinda want to head to Gino’s now too? Lol

Anyway, I know that everyone this evening is going to be hooked on ‘Love Island’ and never venturing out again for the next month. But if you need places to go in Leeds, you should try the above three joints out.. I actually only watched little bits of ‘Love Island’ last year. But i’m gonna make the effort to watch more of it this year…However, I’m not gonna let it effect my social life. Lol. I am still a grown up. I can catch a tv show on repeat. Real life social interactions for always right now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stress, Love, Boys & Dickheads

Image may contain: 1 person, close-up

Oh my GOD! I’ve been having the most stressful time. Lol. It’s been hideous. I kinda just want to hide under my duvet for months, until life turns ace again! Right now, i’m on ‘rest’ and I’m never going on ‘rest’ again. I’d rather burn the candle at both ends, than be anything near, this jolly term of EVIL, that my superiors have labelled ‘rest.’ It literally only gets me into trouble. I swear on my life, it’s been crackers. I don’t do crackers. Well…unless their prawn. 😉

Resting should never be done and only fine when placed in front of the words ‘bitch face.’

The good thing however, is that Junior’s had a birthday. My Baby son, who (alongside Ruby) is my world, has officially turned FIVE. I love him so dearly, that i oculd fill up, right now,  even telling ya. Unfortunately, (as there’s always got to be a party pooper,) his father (who’s a previous ‘party boy,’ now turned Jehovah’s Witness,) and I, do NOT see the world through the same EYES. Let’s just say, I’m in Dior sunnies and he’s….. obviously BLIND. 🙂 But we co parent Junior. We share a son.

Basically, I wanted to make sure my son celebrated the day he was born, as LIFE in general, is SO deliciously important, in my mind and well Keiran, (his Papa)…is utterly against such apparent ‘Tom Foolery’ (due to God and stuff) and informed Junior that if he did not chose to work for ‘Jehovah,’ when he grows up… when he DIES,  he will not go to paradise?

EH?? He’s FIVE. What’s Paradise? Issho on a Sunday? That’s bonkers. Let us pray for YOU, Daddio.

Anyway, I won..and we flipping celebrated my baby son’s birthday for FOUR DAYS STRAIGHT.

Wunna:1

Jehovah: 0

I’m certainly exhausted, but whatever, it was worth every PIECE of glitter ball energy. No one loves a shindig more than my boy.

Now, when I co parent, I don’t always know what’s best for my son? We as parents always just do the best we can, with what we know, right? But I know what really ISN’T right and I know what doesn’t sit well with me. And I will say, that the great thing about Keiran and I, is that we both love our son, madly. However, the MAJOR difference between us, is that I prefer to ask & listen to Junior’s needs and go with what he tells me he loves….instead of telling him what he HAS to do, or force a religion upon him and basically because i’m not….. *swear here* deluded.

Rant over. Back to fairytales.

It’s just hard because I’m so glad that I’m no longer with Keiran or married to him anymore. It’s been years and it’s been so wonderful being free. And he’d say the same. Yet my son, who I love more than life itself….has to hang out with him…. twice a week and recite the Bible. Surely that confuses his soul?

*Rolls Eyes.*

Anyway…moving on….No… shit does not… end there…

Like it couldn’t get any worse… life wanted to pull the rug from right under me AGAIN…

Cheers! Wahey!

..and one merry thing, after another merry thing, all decided to lose its mind and venture it’s way ‘tits‘ up. FRIDAY, was literally the worst day ever. Lol. I got so stressed, I could’ve exploded. But hey, exploding is better than imploding.  The cat ran away (and i’m not surprised. Haha. I can’t find Rocco anywhere, and each one of us is devastated.) I was then embarrassed and shouted at in the middle of Ego’s garden area, by a dude who called me a ‘Bad Mum.’

Jenna: ‘As if you were embarrassed. You’re never embarrassed. i should video this..’

Infact,  this is what he said…

‘Right, i’m gonna be honest with you….EVERYBODY LISTEN….I’ve been off my face on cocaine for the last three days and I could kidnap your *points at me*  kids if I wanted to.’

LOVELY!

Then he loses the plot on me….and after a wee ‘DOO DAA,’ (and I’m labelling that lightly…)

..It all kinda went wrong for him….I think? I mean, the beautiful staff at Ego, sorted his sorry arse out…and saved my delicious honour.

Kim (Ego): ‘He’s been asked to leave…’

I literally had to turn around to Ruby, who said,

‘Mum, he told me he knew you, he said he was your friend because he knows you off Instagram.’

‘No Ruby. If someone knows me off Instagram. They aren’t always my real friend. He doesn’t know me at all… What did he ask you?’

‘My name. Where I live? What school I go to? How old I was? He said I looked just like you…’

‘Please, pleeeease, don’t talk to a stranger ever again. Sometimes, it’s not safe.’

And in that moment, I kinda realised that everything was changing…and for the first time ever, I had to teach my daughter to distrust, because of my career choice. This IS a NEW chapter and that moment with the crazy dude, AT FIRST.. made me never want to go out again, or have to talk to ‘strangers’ that I didn’t know, during my free time. Like it wasn’t or isn’t worth the drama.

Then my friends gathered around me and stood by with utter support...(I have wonderful friends,  family and support. I’m so lucky, it’s unbelievable.)

And just like that….I slept on it and once again, I felt moderately mighty. Don’t call someone a bad parent, when  you’re a ‘self confessed’ druggie father. It’s not how it works. Don’t think you know everything about me, when you’ve only seen a handful of pictures on Instagram. Don’t embarrass me in front of everyone, simply because it makes you feel less weak.

Don’t do it in front or around my children….EVER. I try to keep them balanced and away from panic. You didn’t have my permission to invade our personal time or space. Don’t show up to a party that you’re not invited to.

Common etiquette.

On Friday, I either wanted to get back to work, or to jet off on a sunny holiday. (Code for: A glamourous way of burying my head in the sand.)

It kinda made me feel more exhausted and a little weary of people and that’s not a good combo of fun, is it? I hate that. I’m a positive soul and that’s all wrong. I want to protect what’s mine and have no one mess with that ever. I only want to be around those who know me truly and nowhere near those, who really don’t. I’m tired of being judged. But accept that I always will be.

And yeah  this may sound really grumbly, but I’m actually super okay about it all now. I just needed to vent it out loudly. So, from the bottom of my Pina Colada heart, I thank you ALL for listening. ..

Being ‘on rest’ has tired me out more than anything. Lol. I’m stressed out, because of it. But, I’ll shush, cos it’s only temporary. But GOD! How many shitty things can happen to someone in 24 hours. It’s been shocking. Being at work, keeps you focused.

Keeps you out of trouble.

Today’s a new day and I just need a moment to ACTUALLY relax. Actually chill. I could nap all day. But I won’t, will I? Instead i’ll galavant.

Infact, I went for a couple of drinks last night to destress and I loved it. It helped so much. KatyP is now back from her forest cabin trip. Thank God. Before she left, she began a saucy rumour about a DUTY FREE SIZED TOBERLONE... and my vagina. (Hahah.) We laughed so much, we cried…then she f***** off to Norfolk. (I don’t even know if that’s where she went? Lol)

Claire: ‘I’m glad you get what a Mars Bar party is Chrissie…Anyway, I heard about you and Duty Free Toberlone. Haha’

Me: ‘Haha. That honestly, never happened…It’s Kate’s fault. I’m gonna start a rumour about HER, for when she comes back.’

Last night was fun because I was surrounded by friends….Julie, Scotty, Claire, Ian, Golfer Jonny, His mate Barney, KatyP.. and a whole lot of faces that I kinda knew anyway, were scattered throughout the bar. It got me back to normal and I needed that. I really needed that. I’ve just been knackered.

I’m excited to go again and get back to work. I’m only on ‘rest’ because when you have a job that entails continuous drinking, partying, late nights, early mornings, and travelling, you run your body down quite quickly. But you also run yourself out mentally…Yet, your mind needs to be sound, because you have to write it all out and influence every little bit, as you go along.

The thing that I hadn’t been doing is eating well. I shouldn’t say this, but I’ll tell you the truth… I haven’t sat down and had a full proper meal, in weeks. Everything’s been a snack here, a ‘graze’ there…a nibble…or nothing at all, and my system has been flooded with work, cocktails, fun and life.

I’m really close to my family and  both my parents are doctors…So, whenever I do a big work stint…we all check in, with my agent and make sure i’m healthy, replenished and dandy, before I shimmie off again. It’s like being a sportmans, but when your sport is LIFE.

It’s nothing like being a sportsman! Haha. It’s way less sweaty.

Anyway, everyone keeps asking me about my love life? I haven’t talked about it for a while, because it’s ‘dead air.’ Lol. No one fancies me. No one’s talking to me. Lol. Everyone’s ‘pieing‘ me off. 😉 Nothing exciting is happening, at all.

Yesterday, I was all ‘love needy.’ Today, I’ve grown up…and I can’t be arsed with the drama of a potential relationship. I’m happy. I’m really happy and it’s gonna take a really great MAN, to walk in, step up and share a life with me….as under no circumstances ever, will I give up my own happiness, JUST TO ‘couple up,’ if he’s not my soul mate.

 I know what I want and I’m refusing to sell myself short.

Plus, when it comes to love, even though, I write my life out for the world to read….this isn’t ‘SHOW,’ where I NEED to fall in love for ratings…It ain’t  ‘Love Island,’ this is REAL LIFE, where grown ups reside, feel and live. It’s not ‘story boarded’ or perfectly produced….it’s written per stiletto step, as I go along….

I never know what’s going to happen to me…I only know that no matter what, in the end it will be wonderful.

Chrisse x

ps/ Do not settle for something your soul does not deserve.