Boobs, Wedding Season & Single Life…

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Morning! I’ve had to have a couple days off because everything has gone manic. If there’s an insane work schedule, there’s peace for a moment, then an explosion of ‘home life’ drama. I’ve been up. I’ve been down. I’ve been at auditions, one minute. At drinks with friends, another minute. In meetings Out of meetings. Even at A&E.

Yippeee! Hospitals Rock!

This year, i’m being great to my family and shitย  to my friends. But because i’ve been putting work first. Yet, people always will catch me. I mean, i’ve seen KatyP all lot, for drinks. I lunched with ‘Double B’ and ‘Firmonnell’ on Monday. Yet, in those moments, when people do *catch me* everything looks really calm and serene…

BUT OH MY GOD…

As soon as I swing back out of the door, IT GOES BACK TO NUTS…and it’s something that people don’t understand, unless you do my job. I separate and categorize things, so when i’m at work, I work. When I’m with friends…I chill. When I’m in love…I do love.

(I’m currently extremely SINGLE by the way…and if i’m honest, i kinda LOVE IT. I’m ignoring my DM’s. I’m not talking to any guys. I’m waiting for Mr.Right. Not Mr. Almost Right. I’ve wasted too much time on ‘almost.’ It’s not good enough..and now I don’t even care. I’m the happiest, singleton in all the land. I know what i’m worth and I feel like i’m doing really well, right now. I’m in a really great career position, with a hopeful glitzy future. I’m doing what I love. I feel powerful. I’m beaming. It’s gonna take SOME man to cowboy stagger into Wunna Land and try and win my *cold stoney* lol… loving…kitten heart…over. Unless, you’re Adam from ‘Love Island’…You can stagger into Wunna Land at anytime you want mate… ๐Ÿ˜‰ )

Wahey! No pants for anyone!

Right! So on Saturday, i went to my friend Vicki’s wedding.

It’s wedding season folks.

Now, I usually hate going to weddings. I love the reception, the drinks and the party. But I usually hate the ceremony part. I don’t know why, I do? Maybe because it triggers evil memories in my ‘married three times’ soul. ๐Ÿ˜‰

However, this time, something changed…and I didn’t hate it. I couldn’t wait to go. I couldn’t wait to see her. She’s a great soul. A beautiful girl and she’s literally someone who goes out of her way to make people happy, if she loves and respects you. I like that. She’s someone I trust. Someone I find utterly honourably. (And she’s hot.)

I arrived at Rogerthorpe Manor at 10am. Went up to her suite, (Suite 14) to find the cutest bride maids tottering around, still in their comfies….bedding in their shoes…There was a hair stylist, a makeup artist, flowers, dresses, silver trays of Bucks Fizz and a calm, merry wedding day swirl, meandered around the room..

Me: ‘How are you so calm. Why are you not being nuts? I’d be crying into a gin my now.’

She was a dominant bride. (She knows what she wants and YOU WILL do it.) But she’s weirdly at the same time…really laid back. She’s happy.

Anyway, I got a ride to Selby Abbey..where her wedding would take place (under a strict ‘no selfie taking or drinking beforehand’ rule) and her cousin Toby, with his HOT BLOND of a girlfriend Laura…had to have ME, as their ‘tag along ALL FUCKING DAY. Lol.

I mean, imagine having ME as your third wheel. I usually ruin lives. ๐Ÿ™‚ What could me more of a nightmare. Luckily, all three of us, even though their East Londoners, are built from the same boozy, flashy, fun dripped glitter bricks. I got them. They go me. ALL three of us got on straight away. (I mean there was a point where we’d made Laura ‘smash’ her fishbowl drink down, whilst chanting at her..So we could hurry up and slip into Toby’sย  BMW, to drive away from Selby Abbey, to our new destination, with DIZZLE RASCAL…a playing. ๐Ÿ™‚ )

This is what we were playing…So you can feel our mood too…

Toby: ‘I’m an actual certified BMW driver.’

Me: ‘Ace! Cos you’re in the oncoming traffic lane.’

Toby: ‘Oh shit!! Haha.’

Laura: ‘Everyone’ll think you’re mad!’

Toby’s an East London, cheeky chappy. A car salesman. He’s fun. He’s naughty. But he loves and looks after his girl. Laura’s blond and beautiful. She’s a total weapon. She tells it how it is. She can drink like a pirate, and look like Miss.World at the same time…and with all our powers combined…to say we had only just met…we HAD LITERALLY the best time in EVER!!

Spanks, Boobs n’all….

The wedding was regal and magical, because firstly….Vicki is someone who really deserves this…and by ‘this,’ I mean ‘her own version of happiness.’ Not because she needed or wanted it so badly. But because, she served life well and ‘in return’ life cut her some slack. I watched both Guy and Vicki say their ‘I do’s and I was so honoured to be there. AND I got to sit next to my old school friend Rich Ritucci and his wife Pamela. (We weren’t good at singing hymns…and mainly because it wasn’t Britney? And we might have talked about ‘Love Island’ a bit, before it started. And I might have also selfied.)

RULE BREAKER.

I mean, there I was…satย  in the most stunning Abbey, in the most inappropriate dress. ( I was in a flowy, lilac, all my boobs out, in an a place of worship‘ kinda dress. I didn’t burst into flames though? So God must have liked them. ๐Ÿ˜‰ย  MY BOOOOOOBS WERE OUT!

Laura: ‘You broke all the rules. Haha. As if you wore that to a wedding…Lol’

Me: ‘Fuck it. I’ve done it now, haven’t I. Haha.’

Once you’ve done something. You HAVE TO commit to it, without explanation or justification. That’s what a glamour puss does.

(Laura was in spanks. I went to the loo with her, after having a ‘who can down their prosecco faster’ competition, with one of the other guest, on a pretty lawn, by a stone lion….so she could appropriately adjust them. Spanks are the bomb. They’re your new sexy best friends. Well..yours. Mine’s Paris Hilton. Hahah.)ย 

CONFETTI. (I forgot to being confetti.) MERRIMENT. (I did ‘merry.’) MAGIC. SELFIE TAKING. SUNSHINE & LAUGHTER, OCCURRED.

Then just like that after a quick drink…we got back to the hotel to do a BIG DRINK. ๐Ÿ™‚ I like it when weddings get to the drinking part. The celebrations. We stood on the lawns of Rogerthorpe Manor, on the sunniest day, by gazebos, stone lions, with a first class service, the most fantastic violinist playing and everyone dressed to the nines, as fresh prosecco was poured for the ladies and the guys could grab a beer.

It was all hats and bliss…as picture taking took place.

Now, i’ve always said that i’ve never really been to a wedding where I haven’t been the Bride and let me tell you..

IT IS BLISS. I might never be a BRIDE AGAIN!!!

(Jasmine: ‘I cannot ever imagine you with a husband. I don’t even know how you’ve managed to fit three in already. Wunna belongs to no man.’)

Being a GUEST is ace because you have no responsibilities. No fuss. No stress whatsoever. You just show up, look pretty, be fun, drink, eat and dance.

I CAN DO THAT!!!

And I never have to totter out the joint, thinking, how the hell am I going to do another 80 years with this dude! ๐Ÿ™‚

But you do need company, so I was grateful that I had Toby & Laura, because I shimmied up to the wedding on my own and they couldn’t have looked after me better!

Just so you know, I’m not one to ‘bring a Plus 1,’ either. I find it more awkward, then helpful. But if you know me personally, I have a great group of friends, but I really love doing things ON MY OWN, at times. I’m creepy like that.

I think it’s because i’m firstly around people all the time, so I find my own peace and secondly because i’m quite a confident chica. ๐Ÿ˜‰ I love my own company. I’m REALLY independent. I’m the best person I know.

Hahaha.

I’m not afraid of anything…

Then out of nowhere, whilst i’m sipping my Prosecco…after the ‘downing’ competition that I told you about earlier, by stone lions to violins….Neil (Guy The Groom’s mate, saunters up to me…Everyone kept sauntering up to me because my boobs were like a ‘Top Shelf‘ display..it was almost like I forgot to wear a top… Anyway…Neil…)

Neil: ‘I’ve got a bone to pick with you..’

Me: ‘No you don’t? Haha. Which bone?’

(The last time I saw Neil, we were in a hot tub with Guy and Vicki…And Guy was trying to make me date Neil.)ย 

Neil: So you know this blog that you write…’

Me: ‘Yeees.’

Neil: ‘Well someone sent me the link to it, so I could read about the last time we met…and you said that I FRIEND ZONED YOU.’

Me: ‘No I didn’t.’

Neil: ‘You did. I read it. And I never did FRIEND ZONED YOU.’

Me: ‘Whatever.ย  I would’ve never put that, because well ..that didn’t happen……I don’t just make up stuff…Haha.. You’ve got it wrong..’

Then we had to filter onto the lawn for pictures. whilst guzzling wedding prosecco and getting ready for the reception dinner, after adjusting Laura’s spanks…

And it was at that point….on the sunniest day in Yorkshire…that magic swirled…

To be continued…

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Love Squeaks, Glamourous Charity Bags & Life

If you ever make a girl *squeak* you have made her happy.

Now, when I say *squeak,* I don’t mean a *squeak* for no real reason. Nor do I mean, a *squeak* out of shock, surprise or when someone squeezes your love handles without your consent. I don’t even mean it muckily…not that mouse noises are really a speciality in the bedroom for most.

When I say *squeak* I mean the moment where in which an adoring guy, tells an adoring girl something and it makes her SO happy, that it fills her entire soul with love and excitement, SO much to the point that in a split second, her world becomes a swirl, her emotions swizzle all the way up her body, and an uncontrollable, yet innocent euphoric moment of ‘happy dance’ occurs and *squeak*…There you have it….she beams.

I looked to my left today and watched ‘Firmonnell’ *squeak* and it kinda made me smile, as watching people during those moments makes the moment ‘live.’ It’s contagious. She was on the phone to ‘Big D’and he totally made her *squeak.* So gents, you know, if you ever make a girl happy, it’s that moment where her heart skips a beat, her hands delicately fist up and crunch against her mouth, her eyes smile because they can’t help it and she *squeaks* with simple excitement. I told you…it made me smile. (Even though I annoyed her all the way through the phone call.)

‘What’s he saying? What is it? Tell me NOW! No honestly..what??’

It made me notice that I haven’t *squeaked* over a boy in ages. Work, excitement and achievements have made me *squeak,* MORE than *squeak,* ย yet it’d be nice to have some other chick, look to her left, whilst i’m on the phone to someone who adores me…and have her notice my *squeak* with smiles. ๐Ÿ™‚

I’ve had a really busy day, but a great day! Again! I couldn’t be a happier being right now. I’m beaming and you can see it in my strut and my smile. Everything is slotting into place, as i’ve got it now, I have my balance and system SORTED.

Work is fabulous. Home life with the babies is a wonder. I’m emotional this week and definitely must be getting my period soon. (I think all my chick friends are. We must all be on the same cycle, as I noticed today that we were ALL on a very unglamourous HUNT for substance, in what we call the ‘FILTH DRAWER.’ The ‘Filth Drawer’ contains forbidden chick goodies, like sugary delights, sweets, chocolate, carbs, biscuits…you name it. It’s good dirty filth. It never ends, until the drawer is depleted of goodies. You couldn’t get us OUT of that fucking drawer today. ๐Ÿ™‚ It was like it was filled with 100 dollar bills, diamonds and marriage proposals in it. Lol.)

But my day has just been getting better and better! I mean to say it started of shit at 7am, whilst Keiran (Junior’s Dad) came to pick the littlest up and decided to moan at me because ‘I’m a woman’ and I don’t know how to appropriately De Ice a car. *I roll my eyes.*

I shouted at him because he was lingering and I was in a rush. I had places I needed to be and school runs before that.

‘What? I’m just trying to be helpful??? I’m sorry you’ve taken it that way.’

‘I don’t think just being stood there, doing nothing and simply being critical is the art of being helpful.’ (Add Wunna scowl here.)

Surely being helpful involves helping? Lol. Don’t stand there and moan at someone because you know a better route to success, yet without you being bothered to help.

I De Iced my car MY WAY. I got in it. I dashed off with a pout, a hair toss and ย with my glammy first born in tow. SO THERE. ๐Ÿ™‚

Yet, from that point on….my day turned wonderful. ๐Ÿ™‚ Yes, again..it was BUSY. Yes, again…felt a little nagged by naggers. (I don’t like naggy folk, they give me a rash. I’m focused, yet laid back and find naggy types ungraceful.

Chill. Listen. Get it sorted. Boss it out. Then smile. Peace

However, anyway, I ended up leaving the office today with a giant white plastic bag with Leukemia Care printed on it in red,

‘I don’t know why I gave you a Leukemia bag, as I don’t know anyone with Leukemia,’ said ‘Double B.’ Lol

(She was super tanned today and rocked the top knot once more. She got confused by South Africans and still doesn’t know how to spell ‘poach.’ However today she gifted me with an ENTIRE STACK LOAD OF Ah i just don’t want them House of CB dresses to wear..

‘Well they’re better for you to wear and get papped in, then me to wear in Wakey. If you don’t like them just bin’em.

What?? Now, you always have to becareful with ‘Double B’ as her warped sense of judgment can get the better of her. (‘Firmonnel, Fairytale Blond, Hot Sarah’ and I were all super skeptical over a cup of tea that she was potentially going to make, earlier on in the day)

But once I got home and had a peek in my Leukemia bag…What I literally FOUND was the MOST AMAZING House of CB dress choices, IN THE WORLD EVER. And i’m not even joking.

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It was literally every single dress choice that I would’ve picked. Sequins, and lace, dark green, pink and boobie sexiness. In fact, I already own one of them…so now I have two. *COULDN’T BE HAPPIER.* As if she was going to take them to the tip. As if she just gave them to me, to give them a glitzier life. Lol. As if they came in a leukemia bag, like they were ill. Haha.

‘There’s ยฃ100 dresses in there that I haven’t worn…you can have them… I’m having a clear out..’

WHAT?

Utterly the sweetest chica ever…Under layers of orange tan. (Thank you ๐Ÿ™‚ ย I loves you mucho! (I honetsly have the greatest chick friends! They buy we flowers, cakes with my own face on, booze, bake me cottage pies, gift with me leukemia bags filled with House of CB dresses! Your ‘300 days of the year’ friends are ย shit in comparison to mine. Lol.)

Then to top it all off, when I first arrived home, I had a postman card wedged through my letter box,

‘Parcel left with neighbour at 17.’

So, I leave Ruby inside at door step, to beable to peek at me, yet mainly to make sure she’s safe and warm and then I totter off to number 17, which was only 2 doors away (I make it sound like i’m off on an adventure) in my *clippety cloppety* heels and giant grey and black faux fur. I ‘Catwalked’ it there.

I ring the door bell, wait and a tiny, little, grey haired granny, with the warmest smile and green pinny on looks up at me, with my parcel in her hand. Awwww!

I thank her ever so graciously, she makes sure I know that it was ‘no problem at all Chrissie,’ย and I saunter back with the funnest baby pink and black, package known to mankind? It was filled with ‘Girl Power’ quotes saying things like ‘Girl Gang’ and ‘Boys are shit.’… LOL…and well…

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…there was a note….

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Surely I’m not so lucky to get TWO surprise girly parcels in ONE DAY! AND ON A TUESDAY! Nothing fun ever happens on a Tuesday!!

But yes…My little Missy Empire treats arrived on my door step today! Can’t wait to show you want Wunnaland ordered! ๐Ÿ™‚ I think they deserve a weekend debut!

Inbetween the ‘Double B’ gift bag of House of CB and the Missy Empire door step knocks was a moment…and it was a moment where in which Ruby and I simply sat across a table from one another in a restaurant having a casual dinner…Nothing big, nothing fancy…but just special. The one on one time that I have with both bambinos matters to them massively. Ruby was filled with glee and I just watched her..I wondered with warmth what she would be like as a 20 year old, what she would become, who would she date, what job would she had. It was the first time I really looked at her and saw just how grown she was becoming.

She saw me glaring at her and cheekily said,

You know…I think you’re the most beautiful girl in the whole wide world.’ ๐Ÿ™‚ย 

‘That’s strange, because I KNOW YOU’RE the most beautiful girl in the whole wide world.’ ๐Ÿ™‚ย 

‘I love you Mum.’ย 

‘I love you Baby.’

‘Mum…we’re all living different worlds, but doing it in one big world.’

As if that came out of my five year old! I was so proud! How amazing! It made me quietly and internally *squeak.* ๐Ÿ™‚

Then we ate sweet potato fries and giggled the night away.

Now if you were to slowly zoom up and away from us, until we were only tiny little *dots,* on this BIG GIANT Earth ball, surrounded by zillions of other tiny little dots…ALL doing life…Living ‘Our world’ in one ‘big world.’

Tonight you’d see that ย we were the HAPPIEST TINY DOTS in the ENTIRE Glittery Universe.

Y’know, right now, I feel like the luckiest person alive ๐Ÿ™‚ and it’s not even down to me, it’s simply down to the people that I’m accidentally surrounded by. It’s funny how ย your surroundings can completely change your *beam.* If you do anything after reading this blog, make sure you try to make someone *squeak.*

Love you,

Chrissie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My New Years Resolutions….

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Gosh! All this time off is making me go bonkers. It’s hilarious! I’m tottering around pestering and annoying innocent folk, just so my brain has something to do. Hahah! I’m like the kid that gets kicked out of glitter class (Wait? Hold up! I’d never get kicked out of glitter class? What the actual fuck IS glitter class? Lol Whatever it is? I wouldn’t get ย kicked out of it.) But you get the picture, my system needs to get back to work mode in order to feel satisfied. I’m really excited because i’m about to go into a *juggle,* which is when you have lots to conquer all at once. It’s challenging, it’s fun. ย Yet, right now all i’m doing is thinking and planning it all (which actually makes me panic as you can ponder things far too much) and being a FIRE sign, all the *pondering* gets boring after a while, when you have to wait to move forward. I’m an action girl…and therefore now, because i’m impatient…you are receiving a rant. Lol.

January always goes really fast! I don’t mean the ‘waiting for a pay day’ part, as I realize that most have spazzed their fine earned pences on cocktails. Yipppeee! Yet, when you have goals that you’re trying to fit in, in the first month, it’s always hard, as it *zoom* by without you consent and you have to double up in Feb.

I slept last night. I never can sleep, so that’s a good thing. But weirdly, I watched Chloe Khan’s snippets (lots of naked bits, boobie bits and sex bits) from her time in the Celebrity Big Brother House. Now, i don’t know whether she did that on purpose to gain ‘attention?’ If she did, well done, it worked and it took some fucking balls. It made her newsworthy. So the result, good or bad, was an attention winner. OR if she’s just like that as a human? Then I had a wine and wasn’t bothered anymore and fell asleep. It kinda made me learn that it’s what you do AFTER the snippets of attention have occurred that set task of longevity. My mind and soul must’ve been content with that knowledge and just conked out peacefully.

How was your New Year! I actually ditched my Slutty Sailor Girl outfit and Cockpit Pilot sexy wear, to simply stay home, with my babies. To the ‘Party Goers’ (and i am one to indulge in a good time, if it’s done right and in some form of luxury lol) that may sound dull. But to ME, it was heaven sent, peaceful, loving and bubbled my sail into 2017 with love. Their faces alone we’re adorable.

I will go on to tell you that LOVE MATTERS. It’s what makes you strong. Gives you a purpose. I’m a single mum, so the LOVE that I have for my children power me forward. Nothing compares to that! I’m ambitious, so the LOVE that I have for my ‘dream come true’ job and work radiates from my kitty soul like fire. The LOVE that I have for my parents, the people that gave me a foundation to grow, is deep rooted and dashed with the most sincere respect. The love that I have for having such hilarious friends, keeps my system light, filled with laughter and keeps me being a functioning alcoholic. Lol. It’s a fun love, as you need your ‘soldiers’ right by your side. They’re the people you tell everything to without *censor.*

We all know that i’m SINGLE and i’ve been single by choice because I just haven’t been able to find the correct male human to partner up with. Hahaha! Yes, i’ve been on dates, as usual, as they’ve come, and learnt a lot. Yet, i haven’t had that ‘chemistry’ that is essential to the way i think, move, or see the future…swing by me. Where i cn just be me and the get it! All great guys. All phenomenal people. But just not right for me. And i mean that both ways. As, I am also just not right for them. (Even if some of them haven’t seen that yet. ๐Ÿ™‚ )

I get loads of messages from guys, as any girl would on social media, who may tickle anyones fancy, who read my blog and say that I haven’t have such a hardcore *tick list.* There isn’t a *tick list.* I just know what i like, need and want in another human being, that is so much more than a simple list, as it’ll be something i feel, when i see them and meet them. (HAHAHAHAH….That makes me sound pervy!) Just because i’m not willing to ‘just settle’ for ‘a bit right’ doesn’t mean i’m being tight. It just means that i’m doing what’s right for ME…and you can’t change that, because it’s working for me and i’m quite toolish and strong headed. HOWEVER, if YOU WERE Mr.Right, you wouldn’t want to change that would you? ๐Ÿ™‚ As firstly, you’d be IT and secondly, trying to change a partner means you’re not getting it. You’re not accepting them for who they are with love and support. Nonetheless, I’m always quite willing to go on dates! Well…some dates. Lol. I LOVE meeting people.

I’ve gone on a rant haven’t I!

New Years Resolutions! What’s Yours?

I never usually make them, as I’m not good at confining myself to rules that i make personally. The little rules that I make for myself. If i find that i’m only answerable to myself, then there’s no hope, as I can handle Me telling myself off. Lol. I just end up hitting the glitzy *fuck it* button and having fun. (When i say ‘fun’ I simply mean doing the things that I love.) But if someone else gives me rules, I seem to be pretty obedient. It’s weird. Maybe because i feel more responsible and i’m not in the business of letting people down by nature. It makes me feel awkward.

But here they are anyway..

Wunna’s New Year’s Resolutions.

. EVERY DAY THIS YEAR do something proactive big or small that will help me get closer to my big goal. Work harder at it, basically.

. 20 minutes exercise every day. (I’m shit at going to gym, or signing up to groups, so it won’t be that. So it’ll just be some ‘show up to whenever’ class, or some run or something? I reckon i’ll be into Pilates. Lol

.EVERY DAY (because Karma’s ace) do a good deed for someone. Doesn’t have to be massive, as it’s the little things in life that make a difference. Hopefully it’ll come back on me threefold. If not, i’m not doing it again next year! HAHAHA. EVIL!

That’s it! As everything else in my life i do well. ๐Ÿ™‚

I need a massage and to get my nails done today.

I’m back to work tomorrow. The sun is shining. The babies and my Mum and I are all off to The Frenchgate centre in Doncaster.

I’m excited to tell you about the stuff that I have going on in 2017. There will be a blog about it all. I’ll be telling you where i’m going, why I’m going and when as I go along also.

Do remember that you are able to cross life paths with me at ANY SINGLE POINT. Maybe life will just naturally guide you my way. But if not…purposely *bump* into Wunna land, have a good time with me and find yourself in this blog the next day! *The 2017 cast ๐Ÿ˜‰ ) But this year, chrissiewunna.com will be becoming more interactive, as we all do life together. ย I’m going to be focusing a lot on getting another rung up that success ladder…so bare with me.

Like i said there’s a plan, yet in life you never quite know what’s going to happen, do you? But everything i have ‘intended’ sounds pretty good. Lol.

Feel Free to bob on any of my social media profiles and share your New Years Resolutions with me.

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