I couldn’t sleep at all last night because Ruby’s away on holiday and Junior was at his Dads. My mind couldn’t settle because the two beings, that make my heart worth it, weren’t by my side. It’s mental, because when they’re there all the time, they literally drive me nuts. Yet, as soon as they disappear…GOSH, I DO miss them, madly.
I’m not arsed about doing life on my own.
Give me love, family, a team, a partner…anything? Just give me energy. Give me great people. (The shit ones, i’m not bothered about having around me. Lol.)
I went out for an early tea, had a couple drinks, watched the Leeds game, with my mates Webbo & Scott. (Who chucked a ‘find your phone,’ bleepy thing across a car park, because it reminded him of his ex wife.)
Last night, I actually learnt how much sex means to a man. How much ‘feeling adored‘ means to a guy.
It was a good night..
I felt tipsy and when i’m tipsy, I have the worst night’s sleep. I have no clue why? I’ll just toss, sweat and turn in my sheets, naked, as my head fills up, with the weirdest dreams ever.
The good thing is I shocked myself up 6:06 am. I felt awful, dehydrated, my head killed and I had the worst stomach ache. So I ended up naked dashing to the loo, half blind, only to grab a length of tissue, pat down my brow and crash again.
The next time my eyes opened….and they opened to shouting, was at 8:03am…
At 8:03am, I felt fine. I literally felt amazing. So, I figured, I was really lucky, because The Gods had given a second shot at figuring out Wednesday. 😉
You’ve godda thank life for those moments…
Anyway, I actually had an exciting phone call yesterday, which got me ‘juiced’ for potential ‘good times.’ I don’t know what’s gonna happen, but hopefully wonderful things? We’ll see…everything happens for a reason.
Even though I was chipper, I got kinda bored yesterday and drank loads because if it. Boredom’s a swine for that, innit? Boredom and I are not good friends. I spent my life getting myself into trouble because of Boredom. Then he teamed up with Cupid…and ruined things over and over again for me. Lol.
I did ALWAYS look GOOD though…. whilst getting into trouble.
I mean, The Devil DOES wear Prada. 😉
But yes, good news phone calls. A lot of work is going down. A lot of looking around, at people and feeling that I’m about to shimmie into another new chapter. Everyone looks like their stuck in a life rut? Me however, I’m feeling lucky girl. I’m still poured over with attention. Influencing & blogging are going fabulously.
Jodie: ‘You should get paid more because I ONLY booked the Kitty Cafe, after seeing your post..’
( I love that. 🙂 I love influencing. It gets my ‘jiggy’ all a jolly.)
Everyone always asks me how or why influencers, bloggers & vloggers get paid? The above…is exactly why!
I’m an old school girl, with a new school career…and it’s juicy! I’m almost ‘traditional,’ with a modern day twist by nature…and I love it because it makes me feel really whole. Makes me feel really well rounded.
I’ve learnt everything the hard way. Yet that’s how you learn. I’ve never given up. I’ve known that getting past the struggle is what makes you develop. I’ve always given up in love however…(Which i find weird.)
Someone asked me yesterday…why I thought I was 37 single, with 3 marriages under my belt and two babies, to two different fathers…and I paused….thought a little while and replied with a simple..
‘I really don’t know?’
I’m that tragic, I have no clue? Lol. Is it because i’ve lost all hope now? Is it because i’m an egomaniac? It is because i’m so romantic, that I’ve lost myself in a haze of ‘pretend it’s not happening?‘ Is it because i’m shit at coupling up? Or is it because i’m so picky?
It’s just my story and if I tell you the truth…I love it. If I didn’t have that story, i would never have been able to start building a little Wunna empire…There’s a happy ending in it for me, one day. I’m sure? Well I fucking hope! Hahah….
I have excitement on it’s way to me and being made with adventure in my bones…I’m ready for it. I’m living with a sassy kink in my step and i’m loving it. I’m doing me and doing it well. Something’s due. I have a cocktail dripped feeling for it and my gut feeling is exactly on point, right now. It’s so good, it’s sexy.
Scott: ‘I love it when you say you can feel it in your bones…Haha.’
So, right now, I’m kicking off my kitten heels. I’m still answering all your questions on my Insta story, right now...(@chrissiewunna.) Tinker over. Get involved!
If I miss your questions, it’s not deliberate… I’m literally inundated with quezzies…So, i’m picking them at random…
(I had to freestyle a poem about DICKS today! How was YOUR Wednesday.)
Shit!! forgot to tell ya! Yesterday evening… I received three voice notes from a gentleman…I’ve never met him, but he’s intorduced himself to me previously and i’ve chatted to him briefly via voice note! He just seems so grown and so lovely? Maybe I need that? We’ll see…
Anyway, godda go. I’m chilling with Junior and I now have an 11am audition, in the morning…
It’s just the most amazing time and I say amazing simply because for me, it’s a time where in which I realized how GREAT my 2017 has actually been. I realised how wonderful my friends and family are and how much i’ve appreciated them being there through the ‘ups’ the ‘downs’ and the jiggly bits of this year. They’ve been there through the fun. They’ve been through through the laughter. They’ve been there at the parties. They’ve been there through the drama.
We’ve watched each others hearts beam. We’ve watched each others hearts break. But no matter what, through the thick and thin of it all and we as humans kinda take the ‘thick and thin of it all’ for granted…They’ve really been there for me. We’ve been there for each other, and without ANY condition.
I mean my friends and I are a sassy bunch of fuckers. It’s all hair tosses, work, prosecco bubbled ‘feel betters’ and the absolute BEST of good times. No one does ‘good times’ better than US. There’s been tears, tangos and those occasional that salty pinches of drama. But we say how we feel and we say it well. Some of the bunch are really open, some of the bunch prefer to keep their secrets to themselves..Some cry…Some don’t……Yet we understand each so well…that no matter what we get it. It’s hard to find people who ‘get it,’ right?
So, incase you didn’t know, I’m headed into a new chapter right now. Infact, i’ve done it. I did on Friday. I’m feeling excited, a yeah…a little under pressure. I’m feeling as though i’m about to ‘cannon ball’ into the unknown, with everything crossed. If i needed support ever, I’d probably need it now.
(PLEASE FEEL FREE TO THROW IT AT ME. And RUM, THROW RUM.)
It’s a really important time for me to ‘sass it up,’get my business head on, move forward confidentially and do it power heels. Yet, being i’m Miss Wunna, (i’m a glamour puss, i’m gentle) I’m not one to override deliciousness, when it comes to me, in the form of friendship, love and surprises…
Before I started power strutting…I stopped to smell the roses, appreciate those that I care about and let them appreciate ME!! J It’s something i’m actually not good at, believe it or. 😉 I’m a giver, not a taker and they say you’re either one or the other?
Friday was WONDERFUL. I held it all together. I got through my work morning. (All I did was sit in a giant black faux fur, and do nothing, whilst I bantered with the girls and demanded that we drink prosecco at some point, even if it was in plastic cups and EVEN IF, ‘Lady Shizzle’ had not been able to show up because she had managed to guzzle so much red wine that she dashed for the last train home, missed her step whilst stepping onto the last train home and FELL DOWN the side of the train. Yes in the ‘mind the gap’crack. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Nothing made me wee myself MORE. I was delighted by the glamour of that story. It was BRILLIANT. I loved it.
Fairytale tried to tell me the story, with her angelically serious ‘fairytale’ face, but I just couldn’t stop uncontrollably PISSING MYSELF, that it just turned into hilarity. It’s just brilliant.)
Me: ‘Honestly. Lol. Never in my entire life, when I have been THAT pissed and had to catch a train, have I ever missed stepping ONTO the ACTUAL train and fallen down the crack. Hahahahaah. It’s IMPOSSIBLE! It’s hilarious. I love it!’
(I might have been sick on a train and pretended I didn’t do it…But I’ve always managed the ‘step onto’ quite well. Probably because I know, i’m one step closer to home. One step closer to safety. Lol)
But yes, the day was filled with laughter, girl banter, occasional sad faces and then I noticed Fairytale and Firmonnell disappear and leave me with Beth. ..who was smearing some kind of moisturiser around her face.
Beth: ‘You’ve made me ill.’
Me: ‘Yeah I know.’
Beth: ‘Do I look like a reindeer?’
Me: ‘Where’ve they gone?’
However, lunch was had, sore lips were made fresher, cheeks were bronzed and then I again wanted Prosecco. Firmonnell bought me lunch. I’m a veggie now because ‘Hustle’ forced it upon me, so I winked at a 3 Bean Salad. It didn’t wink back, but i had it anyway. 😉 Yet, I LOVED that she bought my lunch. It weirdly made me feel super special. It the simple things, I tells ya!
I decided to do some work, which consisted of scrolling through my Instagram page Lol, still in my giant black faur fur, whilst swinging on an orange swizzle chair..then all of a sudden I hear a,
My eyes literally dart up…. and like I’ve won the lottery, I started screeching..
‘Yeah! That’s me! THAT’S ME!!!’
And there they were…..The perfect delivery human, with the most PERFECTLY, GRAND DISPLAY , OF THE MOST GLAMOUROUSLY GIANT, PINK BOUQUET OF FLOWERS!
It was like a dream! I squeaked!!!
There’s always this ‘little girl’ in me, that is delighted by goodness, treats and surprises.
Flowers came, selfies happened…
Me: ‘I’m not in the right lighting!!!’
Then as the day went on, after a mosey outside, a couple hours later….I strutted back in with a..
‘I’m off upstairs. I need a wee…’
But I looked at ‘Fairytales’ face, she had some ‘Cheshire cat’ grin on…’Dipper’ was sat next to her, looking like nothing was happening…and then I looked at ‘Firmonnell’ for confirmation…who kinda looked expressionless. I actually thought that nothing had gone during my absence…I took two steps forward and…
A corner that should be dedicated to work had been filled with love….There was pink champagne, my favourite cocktails in a can, cards galore, my flowers….a glass that read ‘You Gorgeous Thing You’ and the BEST PART was one of those LIGHT UP BOARDS…Y’know…the ones that you can buy that read like a cinema headline…and it simply read…
‘GOOD LUCK WNNA.’
Firmonnell had to spell ‘WUNNA’ without the ‘U’…. because there was only one ‘U’ in the packet. HAHAHAHA
IT WAS MY FAVOURITE.
I was just over the moon. It was SO thoughtful. It made me feel WONDERFUL!! It made me feel really cared for.
I just jollied about merrily, squeaking, whilst bursting out little ‘happy dance’ routines. I radiated happiness. Nothing else in the world mattered during that moment. I was on Cloud 9.
It was then when I realised how lucky I was. I’m really lucky.
The moment was followed by heartfelt Whatsapp messages from other close friends and all the love and support that a ‘little girl’ like me could ever wished for.
Me: ‘If this is what happens during new chapters…I just want to do them EVERY DAY!’
We drank, we laughed, we bantered and as people trickled away they hugged me ‘good luck.’
Then…like the day hadn’t been magnificent enough…I checked my email inbox and someone who has throughout the year, tinkered in Wunna Land, with his bad ‘Grandad’ jokes, yet with smiles that would suggest he was the happiest human on Earth, sent me a gift…
And that gift was ‘wisdom’…via the fine art of poetry.
I love a good poem and I adore any form of motivation….
So he did just that….I’ll quote you a bit…
‘Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close YOU are,
It may be near when it seems Afar,
So stick to the fight when you’re Hardest Hit,
It’s when things seem worse that YOU MUST NOT QUIT..’
It was followed by a phone call..
‘Is Chrissie there…Put her on…’
He was on the other end of the line and even though he’s cheeky and will whip you a truck load of really bad jokes….there are moment where in which I couldn’t feel more inspired. You feel inspired when you need to feel inspired right? Plus, I always respect those who have been on this merry Earth a tad bit longer than I….Well he’s sixty soon…so a TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD bit longer longer. Lol
But the last thing he said to me was..
‘I want you to go out there and KILL IT CHRISSIE. Go out there, take what’s yours, grab it around the neck and wring it. I believe you can do it and you know you can do it. It’s yours for the taking….KILL IT…because you CAN.’
Then the glamour puss officially left the building, after ‘thank you’ phone calls and casually turned out lights.
‘Have you locked the back door?’
I’d pretty much checked in and checked out with everyone….Well…aside from Mel…I never really got time to ‘shimmie’ a ‘good luck’ with her… However, luckily, I looked down at my phone and with a…
Mel: ‘What time are you done? Do you wanna do drinks at The Carleton…’
Me: ‘Yeah, definitely. I’m en route now…’
Mel : ‘I’ll be there 5.45pm.’
I met her at the bar and we drank wine, in the corner of a cosy, yet busy pub..It was filled with bustle and what looked like ‘Christmas Parties.’ Ladies were giddy with excitement for a night on the razzle and the guys had sauntered in for quiet drinks at the bar. It felt really good, as everyone looked as though they were having the most wonderful time. Be the young. Be the old. They were happy.
We chatted the whole entire night. We talked over the present, we talked about the future, we recreated the past….I compared a relationship to a game of ‘pass the parcel..’
Me: ‘I dunno? Right now, it kinda looks like a game of pass the parcel… a boring one, where no one opens a prize and there’s absolutely no music….Like you’re just passing the parcel… to keep it going…for the sake of…’
More large wines were drank, she encountered new fun with old friends, I met new faces and we laughed about our lives, we chatted about our love lives and we talked ‘danger’ and how much we decided we liked it?
So much vino was delightfully sipped, that we ended up having to LEAVE OUR CARS and get a lift home.
In that moment, ‘good times’ with a great friend mattered MORE THAN curfews and being angels.
It ended up being one of those REALLY GREAT NIGHTS. A night i’ll always remember. It sailed me into a morning of New Chapter’ slighty hungover…yet filled with support.
Saturday morning, I spent shopping and then lunching with Baby Ruby, who now thinks she’s a superstar.
Rubes: ‘I don’t want to get my hair washed in the bath anymore. I just want to go to the hairdressers all the time because she pampers me and massages my shoulders, when i’m stressed.’
Me: ‘Your hair looks cute…’
Rubes: ‘DON’T TOUCH IT MUM!!!! IT’S IN A STYLE!!’
Snapchat Message from Pete (Her Daddy) : ‘Awww, her hair really suits her like that!!!’
Reply: ‘Good Luck…She now only wants it done at the hairdressers and says she’s never taking her plaits out EVER.’
Pete adores Ruby with all of his soul. We both do. Yet, he loves a ‘Diva.’ I AM a ‘diva’ so with Ruby, it’s kinda like having my OWN personality, ‘personality’ back at me….It’s wonderful and creepy all at the same time.
Then I taught her ‘shoulder rolls’ (in public) which to me is the ONLY dance move you need to know, when it comes to the art of ‘being swag.’ It’s so versatile! Lol We literally stopped in the middle of a shopping centre, dropped our bags and stood facing each other doing ‘shoulder rolls’ until she got it. J
Mum: ‘It’s moments when I watch to both do things like that, that I couldn’t love you both anymore. It almost had nothing to do with shoulder rolling and everything to do with your bond…your friendship and your absolute giddy love for one another..’
Tomorrow morning, I’ve got my London/Ronnie blog out and then my pretty little darlings, we begin my BIRTHDAY WEEK!
I’ve purchased, i’ve packed and i’m ready.
Tomorrow morning, I head to the depths of the Sherwood Pines Forest , to check into my luxury log cabin for the week, with the babies and the family! I couldn’t be MORE EXCITED. It isn’t actually my birthday until Tuesday, which is the 19th, so yeah it’s all about peace and tranquillity…But let’s face it, I’m a good time gal, i’m having a birthday and i’m someone that refuses to play the ‘it’s just other day’ card.
To me, it’s the best day ever!! So we’re gonna be having a fun and boozy, good old birthday time! You hate being a ‘Christmas Baby’ all year, until it’s Christmas…and your birthday! J
I hope you’re ALL HAVING THE MOST MARVELOUS FESTIVE SEASON. Please have fun. Even if you’re glum, please try and have fun. Don’t let life trickle through your hands. Take control of your time and make it yours. Celebrate it!
I mean, I received a card on Friday that read,
‘Then we must frolic, dance and maybe flash our gussets…’
And that’s all I want you to remember… Don’t be dull!
I’m in a new chapter…Let’s dance..
I’m in the forest tomorrow…TWO DAY BIRTHDAY COUNTDOWN.