When I did Kuckoo, Sheffield…

Image may contain: Chrissie Wunna, indoor

As soon as I walked into Kuckoo, Sheffield, I felt sexy. It feels sexy. The entire place is ‘red lit’ and oozes a devilishly inviting warmth. I guess, I’d describe it as mischievously glamourous. Plus, every human in Sheffield, mid totter had stopped me and told me that ‘the cocktails there are really great.’

Luckily,  and because I am Wunna Land.. 😉 I had a freshly shaken, BEAUTIFUL cocktail waiting for me, it looked so fresh it glistened, yet of substance tasted divine. (Do note/ I hate shit tasting cocktails, because it’s almost like meeting a really  REALLY pretty girl, but she has a personality of a fallen asleep donkey.)

Image may contain: drink and indoor

This cocktail (and your first one has to be a strong one,) was DELIGHTFUL and well let’s face it pretty much saved a kitten’s life. I did notice that ‘AG‘ (who’s just a good friend of mine, before you all get excited) had had it prepared, but had already downed two cocktails previous…Haha. To me, that means he was scared to see me, or simply stressed the fuck out.

He went with ‘stressed’…I went with ‘scared’…and after greetings, banter and a quick ‘AG’ catch up, (he’s in uni for engineering) the cosy red lighting and absolute *buzz* that swirled around the bar, must have got the better of me…better of us.

We then proceeded to drink almost every cocktail on the menu. I did this before at Relish in Doncaster and ended up trashed.

And you know you’re an idiot, alcoholic or just plain old fun, when you literally make up ridiculous excuses as why we should have another…

AG: ‘Shall I tell them you want the Eastern Promise, just cos it’s Oriental like you…. They’ll bring it over…?’

[See what I mean…]

Me: ‘Yeah, just whatever. I love that I’m now drinking drinks to match my flipping ethnicity!  Then I want a beer tasting one after because i’m dehydrated and want a BIG drink.’

Image may contain: drink and indoor

I know…no sense. But at the time, 3 cocktails in, whilst wiggling about in my orange dress, immersed in red lighting…it ALL made really great sense.

So shush.

Then I don’t know what happened…Shit just got wild. The music got louder, the bar started slowly filling up with groups of excited Sheffield boys, the bartender called me cute…

Bartender: ‘You look great. Who have you come with?’

Me: ‘A friend…that one over there..’

Bartender: ‘Well, you’ve come to the right place.’ *Wink.*

[That’s a sexy little old thing to say, innit! It was like a glammy Coyote Ugly, but with guys.]

..and within what felt like moments….the place LIT WITH EXCITEMENT and the crowd went BONKERS! 

Image may contain: one or more people, drink and indoor Image may contain: 1 person, on stage and indoor

Y’know, the good thing about Sheffield is that everyone out there is really down to earth, aren’t they? So they’ll all go out, not care and have a great time….with anyone. It’s not a ‘drama‘ city. It’s fun. They’re laid back.

Image may contain: text

It went NUTS. I had a better time that Sunday night, than anyone on EARTH!

Cocktails were dashing, the bartenders were stood on the bar, with live fire and singing at the top of their voices, like nothing else in the entire world mattered at that point. The crowd where mad, but radiated a madness that could only be labelled as..

 ‘HAPPINESS.’ (Hard thing to find right?’)

I noticed that, when I scanned the room….there were so many people, from all walks of life, just LIVING…They were singing and dancing and beaming with strangers. They had no care in the world…I loved it. It was the best night EVER.

And well I…so happened to bring in a crowd. 😉 Boys in Sheffield, love boobs!!!

Now, we all know that I adore, a good time so after dancing about in my booth, I decided to go through the crowds and meet everyone. I do it all the time and apparently I shouldn’t?

AG was dancing in the middle of the floor by now, about 12 cocktails in, half on his knees, like the merriest dude in the city, so I figured he was fine…Lol. He loved being on my Insta story and I can’t at all remember what conversations we had, because we both surrendered to good times. I know his birthday is bonfire night, he comes from a family of policemen, loves being up north, because he’s from Croydon and he’s stressed with Uni.

AG: ‘D’ya know what album cover that is?’

Me: ‘Do I look as though I know?’

It felt like adventure. And I’m so glad I tinkered out into the crowd, because I literally met everyone! Yet, I don’t know if I was blind, or what, because like I said earlier…. I was surrounded by dudes? It was GUYS, GUYS… EVERYWHERE, GUYS?? I felt like I was on the BEST STAG DO IN THE WORLD and I love a Stag Do.

(I’ve always said, if I ever get married again…I would only ever have a stag do. So much more fun than a Hen do. I mean, who wants to drink out of penis straws, moan about boys and plait hair.)

AG: ‘No..It’s just crowds of guys around YOU everywhere. There ARE girls here. Lol What did that bartender say to you?’

It was magic and the entire bar partied the night away MADLY, almost like the were ‘besties’ lol…and in a swirl of sexy red lighting. It was pretty much Heaven…Well if Heaven was as fun as Hell. I could go there EVERY NIGHT. I wanted to do it again at 9am the next morning! People were so happy there that night, that it was almost like an addiction.

[Life note: People are addicted to happy people and places.]

I drank my body weight in cocktail. I lost my voice. I might not have been able to see at one point. I filmed everything. I danced until my heels hurt. The staff in that place couldn’t have been more gracious. They were wild and fun, yet I  looked after me, like I was a Queen.

The atmosphere was dripping with a delicious, wild escapism. Everyone around me, was ALIVE. They were BEAMING. It was such a fun night!

I can’t even describe how great my night was.

AG walked me back to my hotel, just so I didn’t get accosted by strangers. I like a gentleman. All my guy friends are gentleman. Usually when guys offer to ‘walk you back’ they always try to get their ‘end away, don’t they? It’s like they want a treat for ‘being a gentleman.’ Haha.  No such luck. You’ll know if I want to sleep with you, because i’ll just tell you. But i’ll only green light it once…then leave the chase to the gent….

Then as the automatic lobby doors, close up on him… with a..

‘Thank you….Byeee…..’

I was immediately immersed back at The Novotel, which was filled with absolute peace. All sound shut down, other than the sound of the calmness of the pool.

All by myself, I walked back up to my suite, took off all my clothes and just tumbled into bed with one big ‘yeehaa’ roll.

So sophistcated.

Life was great! I woke up the next morning, naked at The Novotel in Sheffield…a phone interview in an hour and literally no voice to even speak.

I smashed my interview, was ready to go to my next spot,  then got caught by ‘Stalker Bruce,’ who (if you don’t know)  is a professional ‘celebrity stalker.’ He finds where you are, catches you and makes you do a million endorsement messages, for his clients. Lol. He’s caught Russell Brand, Robbie Savage..Loads of people…He & his wife ‘Sally’ found me, ..so Fuck it, my next stop was Ego, Sheffield and well they came along also.

It actually made me feel so happy, to have made two people ‘beam.’ They seemed really grateful that I was even sat there with them and I find that odd, because we’re all just human. Yet at the same time, my heart filled with love for them, as they couldn’t lovelier peoples.

More cocktails, more drinking, more banter. I was actually hungover, but loving life. They walked me back to the train station, because by then, we’d all had enough. I was like..

‘Get me out of the city!’

That’s when I got on my train at Sheffield, fell asleep, missed my stop and ended up in fucking Newcastle.

I had work the next morning in Leeds…so I had to get my sorry arse back home…and arrived safely, in 42 pieces lol…at around 1.27am.

 

 

When You Think About ‘Swirls,’ Weddings & Life

Image may contain: one or more people, people sitting and shoes

You’ve made it to Friday! Well done. I’ve just spent a quiet moment, stood by a giant roundabout, in the sun, just watching people do life. In a way, there was something that felt so FREE about it all. And I guess, that’s what life is about? Y’Know, only doing the things that make you happy, feeling both loved, yet free at the same time…and taking care of those hearts you have been made responsible for.

BOOYAH!

Yesterday was great. I worked all morning. Yeah, I was shattered, but I managed to fit in a quick drink with KatyP and Hairdresser Claire, before I *Blinked* and magically found myself immersed in the late afternoon, with my babies Ruby and Junior, who were filled to the brim with laughter, life and the giggles. They swung on swings, they told their tales and then we gate crashed KatyP & Golfer Jonny’s date (who I’m meant to be calling ‘JP’.)

Golfer Jonny: ‘Did I make the blog?’

Me: ‘Well yeah, I said you were a date, but I didn’t mention your name, in case you weren’t ready for it. Lol’

They dined, got cosy…as the babies and I ‘third wheeled it’ for them. (I’m awesome at ruining love. 🙂 ) Junior brought us daisies. Ruby made us watch her ‘monkey bar.’

Yet, the evening ended up being hilarious. So hilarious, that KatyP and I, for the FIRST TIME EVER, realized that we both have the exact same EVIL LAUGH. Its a hearty, evil, extremely loud,  belly laugh. If you know me, you’ll know that my voice and laugh is hideous. A tabloid once referred to it as ‘Chlamydia.’

(Which actually makes no sense, dickheads. 😉 )

Anyway, we have the same laugh. No clue why? But I loved it. We’re twinning. It kinda made me miss ‘Firmonnell,’ who is my other chick bestie.

Nothing is better than remembering someone, when laughter occurs. It means the person you remember, makes you happy, as that laughter, leads your mind straight to them. That alone is *magic.* Especially when people usually only remember me…when they’re drunk or hungover. Lol

It actually used to be a trick my LA Guy friends used to do, on dates…They used to given advice to make a girl laugh, because she’ll always associate you with good times.

Talking about missing folk…This morning and a lot of mornings, if i’m being honest, ‘The Swirl’ (who was a major part of my last year..and even kinda this year…He’s sort of sprinkled into Wunna Land sporadically as time has passed, over a few years ‘on and off’ in fact… ) Anyway, he was running through my mind.

He actually runs through it my a great deal, yet I kinda do nothing about it anymore and mainly because I certainly believe that I don’t run through his mind very much, at all.

Diva’s don’t like that. Lol.

But today, I realized how much I’d learnt from him…without him even really knowing and I always have great respect for those who teach me life, love or things about myself, Especially when they don’t one bit PREACH IT, yet instead simply cross paths with me and for a moment, ‘do life.’ They’re the people who make you reflect. They’re the people who make you grow.

So, the stuff I learnt about myself, enabled me to adjust appropriately. But one of the main things i learnt was how important it was to put ‘Career First,’ so you can make your entire dreams come true…and to let everything else come second, because once you have your career sorted, you’re also filled with this euphoric happiness and also then able to provide for..in my case, the babies. (Who are my world!)

That’s a good bit of advice, that I only learnt by crossing paths with him.

I love life and i’m powered by all things creative. I’m fueled by love, a little too much. I stop to ‘smell the roses’ a lot more, with a cocktail in my hand than I need to. There are phases where i get distracted easily. Lol.

But I’m running Wunna land, which is my actual business (some people never realize that?) My actual entire life, is now my actual business. Sometimes people don’t notice that? Lol. But being a blogger/influencer…in this day, is an extremely lucrative career. A lot of work goes into it…and you could find yourself working every single second and every single day, if ya lucky? However, it’s almost silly to me, when people think you literally do fuck all.

I work smart, not hard and have chosen a job that I LOVE, instead of working a mundane ‘someone elses dream.’

Yet, I learnt as a young girl in Hollywood, that in show business or entertainment, that the best talent always MAKE IT LOOK so easy.

But i’m loving it..and i’m lucky….I’ll always tell you how lucky I am.

I’m also very single. I’m not sure why people keep asking me if I am?? It’s like people think I have some secret boyfriend ‘hidden in the dressing room wardrobe’. I’m lucky, but I’m not that bloody lucky.

Haha.

I get a ton of messages about it every single day. Yes, i’m all for ‘Fourth time lucky’…Yet i’m pretty careful, when it comes to choosing ‘life partners.’

Well…NOW, I am.

Talking about weddings, I’m excited that our Prince Harry and Megan are about to get wed. I love a wedding and I love a Prince, so why not eh! Plus, we have some *bomb ass awesome* snapchat filters, to play with now, don’t we? 🙂

I’m not gonna watch it, cos it does ‘go on‘ for a bit, doesn’t it? Lol. The ‘dragging on ‘ of it all would bore me. I’m all about just saying ‘I do’ and getting on with the drinking. Maybe that’s my problem. 😉

But i’ll celebrate it, a hundred times over.

Plus, the next time i get married, and I will…..It’ll be a chilled, heart felt shindig. I don’t want it to be a production. I don’t want it to find myself stood in the swan lake gardens of The Hotel Bel Air again…with a wedding planning fanning me, as she screams down her headset, whilst she’s holding my trail…I just want it to feel peaceful….natural…and I want to celebrate a union, and celebate love,  the way it’s meant to be celebrated..

Then we’ll all just get pissed and just go wild with a madness, that could only label ‘JOY.’

But I’ll do it again, if my MR.Right can be bothered to find me…

FOURTH TIME LUCKY, all the way!

In the meantime, I’m pretty lucky….’Career First,’ love will find it’s way to you. 😉

 

 

Guys, Messages & What I Want….

Image may contain: 1 person, smiling, outdoor

I shocked myself up this morning! Checked my time on my phone. Saw it was 9am. Then proceeded to topless panic for approximately 1.3 seconds. I’d completely forgotten that I had already BEEN up since 4.30am, influenced things for the US, done a school run and once back home, I kinda must’ve taken a nap. One of those naps that you don’t know you’ve taken, but are such a delicious treat. Until you SHOCK yourself up in utter *PANIC,* think you haven’t done ANY of the above…and then can’t find ya bra.

Maybe, I needed to start Thursday again, so ‘The Gods‘ gave me a second shot…luckily ‘at life’ and not ‘of tequila.’

Hang on…I’m sat at Table 70 of The Broken Bridge and some weird man is shouting things in my ear about ‘Togo the cat’ and ‘Sunset Blvd?’ Eh? I hate it when people do that. Yet, the good thing is that I can actually type this whilst he’s talking….and he has no clue. He’s now walking off…

 *Fuck He’s Back. How rude. I even LOOK really busy!*

Talking about rude. I got into a fight with one of my guy friends, last night. Sayingfriend, he used to be the long term partner of one of my chick friends, who was my bridesmaid, the last time I had managed to get myself wed, before a lovely heart breaking divorce.

*Yippppeeee….*

Anyway, since his break up, years ago…he decided to always try to get into my pants. Which I find gross. Not really out of ‘trying‘….people are entitled to chase anyone they think might fancy them back. Yet, because it was so inappropriate. One, I don’t fancy him. Two…i’m loyal as hell. You could be Channing Tatum doing his strippy dance (and he’s not) …But  i’d still ‘shun’ the opportunity, simply out of ‘good friendship’ and loyalty. 

[FYI/ That Dudes just got thrown out for bothering me, whilst i’m working. Lol]

Anyway, he’s pestered me quite a bit, to no response and last night I got sick of it and I basically got sick of it, because I specifically stated how he ‘wasn’t for me’ and that I he needed to stop messaging me, because I was busy…and I was REALLY busy at the time.

But I said it like this…

‘Honesty, you’re being annoying. Stop fucking messaging. Learn some manners and respect for other people.’

So, what he did was message me continuously, almost every single minute….whilst I was opening his message and then ignoring him. Followed by sending my half naked pictures of MYSELF, that he found on any form of social media. (I have no clue why? Remember this is my friends EX, they’ve lived together, they share a child and she was once my flipping bridesmaid.)

So I properly *BOLLOCKED HIM* because if you know me personally, you’ll know that I hate BAD MANNERS. I really hate rude people. Those who aren’t able to find it in themselves to be respectful, especially when it’s been requested…to me are disgraceful.

IF I FANCY YOU, YOU WILL KNOW, BECAUSE I WILL TANGO WITH YOU PLAYFULLY, SEDUCTIVELY FLIRT, IF THE MOMENT BECAME APPARENT OR AT LEAST SHOW SOME INTEREST. You will literally NEVER be ignored.

Then he got in a *huff* and sent me a ‘Middle finger’ emoji (lol) and blocked me on whatever bit of social he fancied scrolling down.

HAHAHA.

But this is what I think is weird, because if I fancy a guy, he’ll ‘play it cool’ with me, he’ll chase at first, but then stop…like he’s waiting to for me to step forward. I will. But I’m traditional in that sense, I like THEM to make a confident step forward, because I never want to date a guy who’s too terrified to do that. I have no problem making a first move…Yet, i don’t want a guy that can’t feel a sense of ‘Yeah,‘ when it comes to getting what he wants.

It’s sexy. Men should know what they want.

However, all the guys that you don’t fancy, properly, ‘heart on sleeve‘ go for it, don’t they? And I absolutely admire them for it. Yet, if you don’t fancy them….there’s nothing they can do, to make you adore them, is there?

If I don’t have an initial or strong physical attraction to a guy..a chemistry… then it doesn’t matter to me, how ‘nice’ he is, it will always be a NO GO.

I mean for example…a couple weeks ago…I was in Sheffield at Creator Hair. Sam had curled me a do and afterwards, I went for drinks before getting the train home.

Loads of guys had come up to me. Loads had been fun. Some a bit serious. Some a bit strange. One was normal, but I just didn’t fancy him, as I’d be far too much girl for him to take on, let’s say. I’d ruin that boy.

Anyway, he sends me a message, after he read my blog and it said this… (FYI. I know you might be reading this and I’m ever so sorry. You’re a lovely human. But….Well….I know what I want… But i’d absolutely be your friend, as you were so smart and so lovely to me…until you got pissed and horny. Hahaha…)

Guy: ‘So, I’ll level with you, I really enjoyed our chat last week, it was nice to talk to someone with a better understanding of themselves and the world around them…I apologise if I came off as a bit lecherous, stress does that to me sometimes and I can thoroughly understand it being off putting. I’d love a chance to rectify that impression, so if you’re up for grabbing a drink or maybe dinner, when i’m finished with uni, i’m game. If not…it was very pleasant meeting you and I wish you all the best in your search for Mr. Right.’ 

I ignored the message, which is bad manners on my part, but I live in a different world, where we can’t really reply to every human that ‘likes’ a sexy pic or tells us that they ‘love‘ us, because we appreciate the love and support, yet let’s be real…it’s our job…and a way of building attention, more than it is about ‘finding love.’ Lol.

But..whatever, back in the real world….. he resent, this..

‘Will take that as an uninformative no…lol’

The thing is…I have a one track mind and I had already been messaging someone, ‘back & forth‘ who’ll I’ll rename at a later date, if I wish and talk about….But during those moments…it’s much harder to get a look in, right?

Yet what I’m saying is….I believe in love and i’m someone who believes in love at first sight. You’ll know when you’ve found her, because you’ll feel it resonate through your body, soul, mind…and ‘other bits’ 😉 You’ll crave them, but you won’t know what to do?

For a moment you’ll lose yourself, but then if you’re fated to be with one another…something will happen where you find yourself picking up that phone, sending that message and letting your paths cross once more, yet this time from the heart…and it won’t only be lead by your libido anymore.

Do I want someone right now?

Yes…

Will I get him…?

I’ll leave that to him….

 

 

 

 

 

My Airport Jiggle to a Sassy Spanish Getaway

Image may contain: 1 person, smiling

Whatsapp Msg: ‘Morning!’

‘Morning!’

So on April 5th at exactly 4am, my alarm went off, my *wake up* call shimmied and I started getting ready, glamming up, sorting the last bits of packing, wishing that I had a morning mimosa and that was before I kissed the babies, whilst they were still asleep and dashed out the door, with only two pieces of hand luggage ( I always travel light, I’m not a ‘take the pope and the kitchen sink’ kinda gal.) My driver pulled up, greeted me like he was the perkiest, most stylish human ON EARTH to ever do 4am…and with a…

‘It’s lovely to meet you…Let me take your bags…’

I stepped into his ‘RS’ and we travelled to Leeds/Bradford airport, so I could get my pretty arse on that flight to Spain.

Wooooooooohoooo!

(I don’t know why i’m shouting ‘Wooohooo’ because I pretty much had a panic attack and got super nervous, the evening before for no real reason, other than being a girl. Yipppeee.)

So, for my airport runs, I used Pit Stop Rentals. (You can search them on INSTAGRAM.) They’re a prestigious, super car, chauffeuring company, who pretty much make sure you get to your destination stylishly, in good time and whilst catering that time to your needs.

I’m a service girl. You all know that from this blog. You can be 2 Star or 5 Star brand, if the service is poor….I’ll never use that company again…and I guess,  it’s is scary territory for some, as they’re very aware that I write a blog. 🙂 But always great for me, because I mostly get treated deliciously. Lol

We chatted all the way to the airport, as the dawn turned to day. Clear roads. Easy run. Not traffic. Just bliss. I love travelling at that time. We laughed, We joked. He asked me about my career. Why I was headed to Spain? He gave me really good life tips! And it was great because he settled my nerves and not only made me feel really comfy, yet also kinda made me feel extra confident and somewhat powerful. I needed that.

So, i’ll give them MEGA POINTS for service. It was literally like an airport run with ya best friend AND therapy IN ONE…and you know what I’m like, I’ll chat to anyone, about anything….He did great to put up with my ‘extremely glammy’ 😉  shit.

As soon as we pulled up…my driver then let me take a gzillion selfies, and let me Snapchat and Insta story my entire journey t….as he turned up the tunes and enjoyed the show! Lol

Driver: ‘Make sure you get chair in! Aw! As if you accidentally deleted the best one.’

Me: ‘I know, I hit the wrong thing.. Are you going in it?’

Driver: ‘Nooo. I don’t have my sunglasses. I’ve been up since 4am.’

Me: ‘Yeah, but you don’t look like shit. You’re hot!’

Image may contain: 1 person, sitting, sunglasses and close-up

By this time, everyone in the car park was glaring at us, so I made the executive decision to quit being a twat and just get myself into the airport. 🙂 There’s no shame in my game. I’m a ‘You only live once, so make your story worth it’ piece of chicken. If you want to watch…WATCH. It’s only when you scowl and watch that makes me think you’re ‘judgey.’

Now, when i’m chatting service…My Pitstop Rentals Driver, not only grabbed my bags out the boot for me, BUT also carried them all the way into the airport, through the airport, (I had already ‘checked in online‘ with my Jet2.com app,) he helped me avoid the queues, by chatting to the Jet2 representatives for me, and then sat me down, in a cafe, (because I was super early for my fight ,) and BOUGHT ME a large coffee and a muffin! Lol.

Is that like the best service on EARTH or what???

Then we started just chatting in general about life. He aske me about my world, my love life, my job.

‘You’re the luckiest girl in the world. I would love to have woken up this moment, and be jetting off on a Spanish getaway for a couple days for… And to have had a career young, where you just casually moved to Hollywood to be a model… Lol.’

I asked HIM about his life and found out that he enjoys all things ‘bouji’ and that he DOESN’T TRAVEL LIGHT.

Me: ‘I always travel light, because I have non working arms and if I need to get away fast, I can. Lol’

Driver: ‘That’s a good idea… I don’t know why i’m agreeing, I DON’T actually ever travel light ever. I’m like a chick. I had a 2 night stay in a hotel, took everything in the world, filled a car, took 4 changes of shoes, my slippers, dressing gown, 2 tracksuits, 4 shirts… 3 pairs of jeans….Two wedding outfits….Lol’

It was like the GQ version of ‘The Hungry Caterpillar,’ the part where he just stuffs everything in his belly.

Yet, I enjoyed that could say the word ‘bouji’ and he totally got what I meant, without question, as sometimes people look at me like i’m speaking a whole different language. And I know when people are just pretending to understand what I’m saying to them. 😉 He wasn’t.

Time flew…and before you know it, we headed to Security, to get through the the Boarding gates. Just so I didn’t have to wait…he paid for me to FAST TRACK through , because the lines looked so horrific…and

OH MY GOD! IT WAS A GOO JOB HE THOUGHT OF THAT!

(At that point he left me to my own devices….as I scheduled in my return pick up…)

‘Thank you so much, I really appreciate everything. I’m back on Saturday at 7pm.’

‘It’s been a pleasure thank you. See you then!’

So, I fast track through to security…and from that point it all goes *TITS UP.*

I get to the security, plonk all my stuff in the trays…that goes through to be examined…

There’s things in my luggage that i’m not allowed to take on the plane, so that get’s put to one side, to be opened up and looked through.

I BLEEP at the ‘walk through,’ so I then have to wait to be patted down and mini searched.

By this time, it is now BUSY AS HELL! There’s what feels like a gzillon people, trying to rush through security.

It takes so so, because it’s so busy, that as my flight is boarding…I’m still at security WAITING FOR MY BAG TO BE OPENED UP AND LOOKED THROUGH.

I was there so long, that my gate was now no longer boarding, BUT CLOSING!!!

By this time, I’d won the support of the crowd, who were all rooting for me to get on this plane…and offering me all kinds of help…and letting me push in.

But no pushing in is allowed…as the have to do everything in order…

So, I did what any ‘Diva’ would do…I asked nicely….I asked nicely again, in the most politest manner.

‘I am so so sorry, as I know it’s not your fault, because it’s really busy and just you having to go through everything…But my gate is flashing *closing* and my bag hasn’t been checked through…’

There was nothing he could do…and to be honest, I got that…But I ‘Glamour Pussed’ him in the eye and he gave me a look like he wanted to help and needed to help…but wasn’t allowed to.

An middle aged couple almost ‘begged’ him to let my bag be searched ahead of their bad. But then the big grumpy boss came over and reiterated that ‘NO SPECIAL TREATMENT‘ was allowed…(which is true Lol…But if I can work it, I will.)

Grumpy but right Boss: ‘Do, not let her put her hands in her suitcase!!! It’s not allowed.’

So after I realized that….I did what any little ‘DIVA’ from the Orient would do (because I wasn’t gonna miss that flight and I wasn’t getting my own way.. )

I KICKED THE FUCK OFF! 🙂 HURRAH!

‘I have been WAITING HERE FOR HOURS! My gate had boarded and almost CLOSED IN THAT TIME. I’M GONNA MISS MY FLIGHT AND i KNOW YOU DON’T CARE, BUT THIS IS NOT OKAY!!!’

I kinda said it shouty…

And weirdly, it was my turn for my bag to be checked through…It got opened, sent back through the tunnel, came out the other end and then security even HELPED ME repack it as fast as he could….

I thanked everyone….and then

DASHED LIKE CRAZY TO MY CLOSING GATE.

I was in diamante heels and all the Duty Free lot where trying to spritz me with their latest scents as I flew by. Lol

‘I’ve godda go. I’m late for my flight.’

I finally get to Gate….Everyone has boarded. I smash through, out of breath, looking all sorry for myself…

He laughs, checks my boarding pass and passport…

‘Please just tell me i’ve made it..’

‘OOooooooh CLOSE!!! Get on love. You’re fine. You’re off to Spain!’

‘AH! I love you! Thank God for that!’

Last one on. The Jet2 staff couldn’t have been lovelier to me!

Just over 10 minutes later….

Image may contain: sky, aeroplane and cloud

I was on my way to Spain….

Get Me To Spain & Ronaldo Beach Towels

Happy Wednesday, my gorgeous whips of lick festival! That’s it. I’m on holiday mode. I’m feeling the chicas and shaking the maracas and booty grinding to my mirror image, to any ‘holiday memory’ song that will have me.

I’ve worked so so hard this year and in fact all of last year…I’ve worked so hard… I could die. I’ve jiggled and juggled and mummied and selfied. I’ve wiggled and waddled and written every piece of my life out for my own settle of mind and for your own delicious entertainment. There’s been great times, hard times…jollies and stress…Right now, I don’t care….Get me to Spain. I fly tomorrow morning.

I AM NOT IN PANTS. SAFETY LAST!

In fact, if i’m being honest, i’m currently sat up in bed blogging and feeling ridiculously IMPRESSED, with how WELL my tan has developed from last night. Yes, I know I’m Asian and already tanned. Yet, before a bit of ‘bikini’ and because i’m a bit of a Glamour Puss…

*Flashback* Guy: ‘Everyone wants a shot at the glamour puss.’

…I do like a quick fake over, to make my tan McJuicy. I used the Model Co, ‘One Hour Tan Mousse’…

Image result for model co one hour tan mousse

and I’m always really skeptical about fake tans, because I always figure they’re just gonna wash completely off and not be dark enough for me. But i’ve woken up impressed. So GET ME TO SPAIN NOW.

I couldn’t sleep all night. I don’t know why? I’ve flown a lot, but I don’t like flying and airports stress me out. I was up at 4am stroking ‘Rocco’ my kitten (that sounds rude..it wasn’t that fun….that ‘stroke’ was yesterday 😉 ) and did what I normally do, when I can’t sleep and that is..

GOOGLE EVERYTHING. (Apart from myself. I hate doing that because all the pictures are really old and cringe.)

So, on my Google agenda at 4am, was every celebrity…’on the beach.’ Lol. (Yes, I am that sad. Some people Google ‘World Peace,’ I Google ‘beach bodies‘ and I’m okay with that.)

I went with ‘The Kardashians’ obviously, as they calm my soul in bikinis at 4am, when i’m stressed. I even watched an Oprah interview with them all.

Then I don’t know how I got onto it….(I Googled it 😉 )….But I ended up with ‘Cristiano Ronaldo on the beach’ shots. Lol. AGAIN, what a good find at 4am in the morning….It was SO good that I may have become moderately obsessed with his beach shots. I found myself rating his ‘old school’ look, against his ‘new school’ look.

HAHAHAHA. Why am I a tool?

This is why I need to sleep. This is why I need to grow up. This is why my 7 year old daughter Ruby says,

‘Why does everyone else at school have a normal Mum and I have one that’s like a teenager. You’re like a child.’

The most hilarious part of this Google search was that I ended up at this…

Image result for cristiano ronaldo beach towel ebay

The Cristiano Ronaldo beach towel on ebay. Lol. It could be yours for the bargain price of 30 quid. So I did what any normal girl would do…(no, I didn’t buy it…which reminds me I haven’t packed a towel for my holiday yet,) Instead, I *screenshot* it and Snapchatted it to my girl bestie ‘Firmonnell’ who I was messaging last night, with a caption that read…

‘Nothing makes me happier than this towel… Happy Morning!’

The good thing about ‘Firmonnell’ is that she knows I’m an absolute plank, and will just go with it anyway. (Probs because I can get us free cocktails.) And she replied this morning with simple ‘laughy face’ emojis….meaning..

I MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY. (And that like any other normal human being, she can’t be arsed to type before 7am.)

I’m an early bird, so even if I CAN sleep, i’m still up at the crack of dawn. I like to get the most out of my day. Like, I honestly don’t know how people ‘sleep in‘ until noon and slob about eating bacon sarnies, whilst trumping, wondering where life has gone.

Am I in Spain yet? No? Okay cool…

Right, technically, I should take this moment and I do want to take this moment to…

THANK EVERY SINGLE HUMAN AND OR COMPANY…

..That has send me a treat for my holidays. I have been inundated with gifts, products, services and from brands all over the land…and I honestly couldn’t be more grateful. I really, truly appreciate it and I can’t believe how lucky I am. You’ve made me feel really special and in return, I’ll blog, picture and snap the ‘jollies’ out of your products, whilst I’m away. Thank you ever so much. Honestly…I will make sure that they are all over my ‘socials’ throughout my time in Spain.

Image may contain: textTwo-Tone Bikini

Here are a couple of my treats from companies Mirror Image Style (mirrorimagestyle.co.uk) and @Mishmashfashionuk (mishmashfashion.co.uk) 

Thank you so much. I’ve tried them all on and they are divine. In total I have 22 bikinis….and you’ll all be rocking this blog and my socials shortly. I’m gonna look ‘Queen’ because of you.

I’ve literally spent the last entire week in bikini fitting, after bikini fitting. Followed by hair piece fitting, after hair piece fitting….It’s been crackers. Yet, I appreciate it all. I feel so lucky. (It makes an old bird smile. 😉 ) 

I also want to thank ‘Pitstop Rentals, Leeds’ (they’re actually everywhere, all over the North, not just in Leeds) which is a LUXURY/PRESTIGE super car rental and chauffeuring service. I love them so madly and well they will ‘new whipping’ my arse to the airport.

But you’ll all see pictures of everything…as I’ll be placing them everywhere. Make sure you’re following my ‘social’s and stories.’

The diets been going well…I’m still Herbalifing and i’m on Week 4. My body’s changed quite a lot and i’m enjoying feeling a little bit more in shape…and at 37 with two babies…who flipping doesn’t. It’s given me a new lease of life. It made me feel really great! So, i’m certainly doing better for it. I did have someone ‘hate’ on me for doing it, yet mainly because they wanted to indirectly promote their own  fitness/nutrition brand all over my wall….

I’ll tell you now. The best way to promote something, is not to ‘hate’ on something or someone else, and place it all over a seemingly popular persons wall to gain audience. As soon as you do. I’m not interested. And I understand that it wasn’t the brand itself, it was someone trying to promote the brand…Yet, they properly went about it, the absolute wrong way. I mean, they even ‘hated’ on the person or people who introduced me to such….and you don’t even know who that was?

I’m a glamour puss. We’re not rude around here. We’re real…in diamonds. Let’s play bouji.

Bottom line, the reason why I decided to initially Herbalife was  simply because I saw a body transformation selfie on the Insta profile of a really good friend of mine. He looked amazing. In fact really great. I was personally really impressed….I was SO impressed that it INSPIRED me to want to get back into shape and start feeling extra great.

I spoke to that person…and they helped point me in the right direction…that’s how I ended up here.

Life works via word of mouth, or by the way you choose to cultivate a rapport, with someone. They didn’t ‘hate’ on my wall to promote something because they didn’t have to. They’re classier than that. Instead they showed their own result…which celebrates an achievement..which ended up with ME *tapping* on their door with a ‘help me.’ By all means, mention someone and be lovely about them…Everyone adores that….Yet, just do things correctly….It’s classy and sassy baby boo.

SIMPLES….

It’s funny because I always say, that everything in life, is all about how something makes you FEEL. Nothing more… nothing less.

We react to how the littlest or even biggest things MAKE US FEEL and the only things that can truly make us FEEL, are other things that can FEEL also.

A bit of a preach there for you. 😉 I’m not saying lets all be kind to one another and wear party hats, whilst we sway to boyband love songs. That’s not human nature. We’re all different.

What I AM saying, is let’s be flipping REAL here, instead of dickheads.. Bottom line, don’t hate on another brand on my wall, simply to promote your own. 😉 It is definitely bad manners.

Hahah. I’m over it now. Life was better when I was Googling Ronaldo beach towels at 4am.

I love life. I adore experience. To me, it’s what life is about. And yeah I’ve done some really outrageous things, during my existence so far, that have placed me in really sticky situations. (But I definitely blame the boogie and Hollywood for them. A tremendously surreal place to grow into an adult.)  I’ve always been a ballsy one, a life liver, a wild one, who is never afraid to ‘DO ME.’ And yes, i’ve definitely mellowed out at 37, when it comes to the wild antics, yet not when it comes to TRUE SPIRIT. I’ll always do what i love and what I want. And I never feel like I want or need to explain or justify them…as I’m living my own version of life.

When life dishes out crazy bad/exciting times, and you get caught up with the fine art of mistake making… (I did this a lot in my 20’s and I am proud to say that I haven’t mistake made in YEARS now..) to me it’s all about the LESSONS YOU LEARN. And if a real lesson HAS been learnt, than I am pretty fine with having that experience. I don’t worry about how I got here. I concentrate on where i’m at now….

Everything happens the way it’s supposed to…and we always find out why in the end…

GET ME TO SPAIN!

Here’s a tune to put you in my Holiday mood. (I did all my fittings to this yesterday, as the children made Zebra’s, which Junior still thinks is a Giraffe out of random Wunna Land. Arts & Crafts bits.)

I might not have chance to blog before I land on Spanish soil tomorrow afternoon…So please do follow my ‘Socials’ and Stories.

Love you lots,

Chrissie x


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Friends, Wine, Gingers & *C* Bombs

Image may contain: 1 person

Morning! Gosh! It’s such a busy time. I’m running around like a topless 😉 chicken, trying to get everything dished, dashed and sorted. It’s absolute mayhem. But, what can I say, I’m loving it. (I never take for granted how lucky I am.)

There’s a lot going on right now and yeah, it can feel stressy and yeah, yesterday I felt like I didn’t have the positive support that I needed…But today’s a new day…I’m breathing, I’m smiling and i’m sat blogging this in a giant faux fur, knee high boots, diamante danglers and with heated rollers in my hair!

THAT MY BITCHES…IS GLAMOUR PUSSING. We’ll call it *EXTRA.* 😉

Anyway, that last Sunday, I ended up meeting ‘Poggy’ at The Carleton for a couple drinks…without my bank card. (I have it now. Life is bliss.) The guy she wanted to maybe go on a date with was busy, yet instead, a different guy had waited all night until his guy friends had each left, then approached her with a…

‘I was waiting for them to leave, so I could get to chat to you….’

They ended up on a ‘date.’ So, even though it’s ‘early days,’ I guess everything happens for a reason. You get what you’re meant to get…and life sort of times things correctly for you. You’ll be surprised at how many things do actually fall into place. It’s magical and like I always say, it’s a ‘magic’ we can’t control.

I never use timing as an excuse. You meet people because you’re meant to meet them..even if right away that second, you have no clue why? It’s always for a reason, a season or a lifetime. You’re paths will keep crossing, until all life elements are correctly in place, and you’ve figured out your connection.

Barmaid to Poggy: ‘He’s the kinda man who will kiss you when you need to be kissed and slap you when you need to be slapped.’

That Sunday night ended up being wilder than I thought? So much fun. Good friends, new memories and all around a table…as day turned to night.

There was laughter, wine and sarcasm as it’s finest…and as always, we definitely got carried away. You can’t get us started with banter, in the name of wit and ‘Being Yorkshire’ we go for it.

I went to school with ‘Poggy’ and she’s been a good friend of mine for years. We were actually laughing over the fact that our ‘careers teacher,’ stated that she would become a marine and that I would become a florist, after we answered a couple of personality questions. Lol.

Poggy: ‘How the F*** did they come up with that!!’

Me: ‘I must have just said I like flowers and pretty things and you must have said that you…’

Pet Laura: ‘Like to kill things…Lol. It’s like The Hunter & The Vajazzle.’

(‘Pet Laura’ is a Dog Groomer. She found herself at our table, wishing she was in Africa, bottle feeding tigers, or something? Then she had gin.) 

One gin down and she was naming our vagina’s after ‘Harry Potter’ spells. I distinctly remember looking up and for some reason ‘Poggy’ and ‘Pet Laura’ were doing these weird hand actions and refering to their ‘lady parts’ as..

HUNTER.

(Mine’s not a ‘Hunter,’ mines just tired. Hi, True love! Where are you? Please find me.)

Poggy: ‘I think that because you have such a busy life and a busy life online, you would always need a man who is chilled. Someone who gets on with it and takes that stress away…’

Me: ‘Yeah, I don’t like a stressy man. I don’t like them to come with a bundle of emotional issues… I don’t like things to be complicated. I don’t have time to unfold, mend or cry into wine anymore.’

Y’know, everyone always thinks i’m picky when it comes to love and I’m not picky as in ‘fussy,’ i’m just happy and when you’re happy….you sometimes wonder whether you need to invite another human in? But then I think, I’m gonna need someone to carry heavy bags and do the bins, aren’t I? 😉

So, yeah, I should probably team up with a fella and do ‘lifetime’ sometime shortly.

I just don’t want to invest in a ‘fling’ at 37. I can’t be arsed. I’m not excited by them. I’m too old for that I’ve ‘flung’ all the way through my 20’s, hoping that it would always be forever. Each time I got it wrong. Even after ‘I doing it’ three whole times!

What I’ve learnt, is that I don’t need to worry about it. YOU don’t need to worry about it either. Girls always worry about it. I never do.  I have absolute faith, that no matter what, the man who truly loves me, because he can’t help it, (banter, winks, diva strops and all)….will come get me. (I shouldn’t have used the word ‘get’ it makes it sound like he’s gonna kidnap me and throw me in the back of a van.)

But you get what I mean….innit! 🙂

All I have to do, is ‘sit pretty,’ get on with life…and wait. Cupid an I are mates now. He doesn’t mess with me. I don’t mess with him. It’s simples. Plus, Girls shouldn’t chase boys. We shouldn’t have to. I enjoy the traditional art of the ‘dude coming forward.’

Annnnnyway… (I totally got distracted…)

That Sunday…day turned to night and the bright blue skies, were slowly blanketed with a navy sheet, that almost swirled in a grey mist, littered with stars. (I don’t actually know if there were stars out?? Lol. I’ve made that bit up.)

‘Pet Laura’ had left and just as she did, the outside door swung open and out popped ‘Parsons.’ (She’s a friend of a friend, who is ace, because whenever she’s drunk, she gets really gobby and starts doing hand stands and rollie pollies everywhere.)

The tempo changed to that good old, loud, cracking, fast Northern, naughty, foul mouthed, BANTER.

IT WAS GREAT! (I cannot even repeat what was said.)

‘Parsons’ enjoys to use the *C* bomb, which I always find hilarious. She’s such a free spirit. Such a wild, loud, laugh! In fact, she loves the *C* bomb so much, that she even delivers it in melody.

Everything at this point turned into a blurry, fun, wine drenched haze. And a red ‘outside heater’ glow, surrounded us. It nurtured us. It kept us safe. It obided to he rules of The Wine Gods.

Now, ‘Poggy’ and ‘Parsons’ got on really well…They have swimming in common. They want to swim everywhere together. They want to travel the world and swim through valleys.

It was like one of those moments when you first meet someone in a bar, but you’re both pissed, think you’re best friends and plan holidays together! 🙂

Me: ‘You’re definitely not going to swim together.’

Parsons: ‘Everyone thinks i’m fat. But i’m actually a really good swimmer.’

(Then she did ‘swimming arm’ demonstrations at me.)

Me: ‘I only do breast stroke with my face above the water, so it doesn’t ruin my face.’

Anyway, they had some unique ‘hoe’mance’ going on. They loved each other and mocked ‘Parsons’ ginger husband, who was definitely stood, pressing the ‘heater on’ button every 10 seconds.

Poggy: ‘He’s like The King of The Gingers.’

Me: ‘But he’s not even ginger? You can’t be The Ginger King…when you’ve got brown hair? Surely that’s not a title you can take?’

Parsons: ‘He IS ginger. I’ve got a ginger kid and i’m a brunette. I love you *Poggy,* you’re like a blond version of me… in a polo neck.’

(Now, i’ve just looked at my blog notes from that evening and I’ve typed ‘Fast pass to brown hair,’ after that piece of ‘polo neck’ statement. However, I have no clue, what that means now? Lol. All I remember was looking up and seeing the girls bickering over who had said the ‘funniest’ thing..)

‘Why have you put that down. I said something WAAAY MORE FUNNIER THAN HER and that SHOULD MAKE THE BLOG.’

All got really drunk. All had a lot of fun. I got stopped a couple times, that evening by the occasional Geordie and people who love my ‘Blog/Influencey’ stuffs.

I absolutely bantered with you all. But I was far too drunk to dish out advice, which is what everyone was asking me for. 🙂

I’ve received your DM’s though…So, i’ll try and swizzle in some time to meet and inspire. (I appreciate the love.)

Message me again, in case I forgot. There’s not such thing and reminding me TOO MUCH. I love ‘people reminders’ as I often get lost in work load and jiggery pokery.

Right, I’m off. I’ve got the babies and a lot to try and organize. Things have been so jam packed, that it’s been hectic. I fly to Spain in 7 days. Thursday morning.

I’m kinda really looking forward to getting away for a few days by myself, just to relax and finally get that ‘chill’ time in,  that I never seem to prioritize.

It’s been a busy first part of the year…and sometimes I feel like i’m running as fast as I can, but on the spot. Lol.

What I need right now, is to relax…a wine….and a result.

(Things are never that easy though, are they?)

Kisses,

Chrissie,

 

Image may contain: 1 person

 

 

 

What Chu’ Know ‘Bout Me…..???

Morning! Morning! Morning! It’s really busy times in Wunna Land and everything is going delightfully. I’m really happy. Things are great. Yeah…I lost my flipping purse and bank cards…But they’re all cancelled off, new ones are headed my way and just like that….life went back to normal. (Even though my Mum did have to take the children and I out to dinner, because I had no access to funds. 🙂 ) We Pizza Expressed it and I had actually forgot how great the food is there. I only got the Caesar Salad, however it was remarkable! I could have it everyday!

BUT NOT WITHOUT A BANK CARD!

Yippppppeeeee!

Yes! I’m in a great mood. I’m tinkered over in a magical swirl of happiness. I still feel like the luckiest girl alive….and today, my cheeky little swines…You have a…

‘WHAT CHU’ KNOW BOUT ME’ BLOG!

(I do the ‘What Chu’ Know’ blog every so often, when things are a little too busy with work….You inbox me questions…I give you my honest answers…You get to know me better, (maybe on a more personal level…) and we all slip on our stilettos and sing nursery rhymes, to the beat of utter happiness.

You cool? Get it?

Cue SONG:

What is your real name?

Christina Wunna. People are always shocked that my name is actually ‘Christina’ and I have no clue why?

What part of Asian are you from?

I was born in Yorkshire, but both of my parents are Burmese. Making me 100 percent Burmese through blood.

Have you ever got with a girl?

I’ve kissed a girl…Haven’t we all…and maybe messed around with one, once…..back in my Hollywood days….Yet only because I had a weird ‘swinger’ boyfriend. I actually didn’t enjoy it….But being young, I sort of just experimented with the whole thing…for him. I wouldn’t do that now…. I’m far too sassy…. I know what I want….Yet, I don’t judge people on their sexual preferences….Ours just didn’t match…. Lol.

Did you actually go to Private school?

Yeah I did. Hard to believe I know…Lol I went to Hill House in Doncaster, then Ackworth School in Pontefract. I have Doctor parents, so I ended up there. However, both my children actually go to that school there now. Which is lovely.

Weren’t you scared moving to Hollywood when you were young?

No. I was so excited. I wasn’t even scared of the bad things that happen in Hollywood. As soon as I got into my taxi at LAX, after literally just arriving, the taxi driver turned around and said, ‘I’ll give you $100 for a blow job.’ I just looked at him, laughed, said, ‘Don’t be a dick…no’ and he drove me safely to my hotel, without uttering another word. He was more terrified of me. I hate ‘ugly’ humans. Good try. But you lose.

Would you let your daughter be a glamour model? 

Not at all. 🙂 One rule for me….One rule for her… Lol

Would you ever get married again?

Yes. Fourth time lucky. I’ll get it right this time around. I’m just a slow learner when it comes to love. I wear my heart on my sleeve…and it’s shit. Lol

How long have you been single for?

I don’t know….? I don’t really count the minutes, seconds and years of ‘single’ or ‘together‘ life….I just get on with it…

What is you favourite cocktail?

Too vague a question. I love all cocktails. I can literally drink ANYTHING. So it depends on my mood. But I’m a creature of habit, so when I’m hungover, I will find a Bloody Mary. Or at Ego, I’ll always order a ‘Salted Rimmed Margarita,’ When I’m Ginos…I’ll always have an Espresso Martini….When I’m at Tattu i’ll always order the ‘Skull Candy.’ That’s just the way it goes…I attached drinks to memories…They remind me of men, friends or past dates….

Are you completely different to how you were in your 20’s?

Yeah, I’m completely different. You are or will be too. In my 20’s. I loved the 20 year old version of me. I didn’t care what anyone thought. I just LIVED FREELY AND HAPPILY. I was a wild one….I’m not as WILD now…I’m cheeky, but balanced. I just love fun…It’s in my soul…

What do you hate about yourself he most?

Such a nice question? Lol. I hate my wonky bottom tooth, which I never seem to get fixed and I hate that I can’t ever conquer my love life….It’s like i’m on a slow moving merry go around, just doing the same thing over and over again….without learning…

Saw that you just watched Fifty Shades Darker….When it comes to sex, or you Submissive or Dominant, and also when it comes to your regular personality?

I’m sassy. I’m both. Well, I can ‘play’ both. and get off on both. I love to ‘play’ in the bedroom. I’m naughty but fun. It’s good clean filth. Lol. I’m just feel really confident in the bedroom. Yet, I’m not remotely promiscuous. Loyalty is HUGE TO ME. I wouldn’t like to sleep with lots of different people….When you’re in your 30s, you can’t be arsed with the ‘no hopers.’ I have a one track mind and heart…So when I love someone, I love them madly. But only them…

Personality wise…I’m dominant. Really dominant. I’m a ‘Diva. I might play or try and be submissive at times….But I’m not….By nature….I’m bossy. I know what I want…and hate not getting what I want. 🙂

Your pics are getting hotter and hotter, do you feel under pressure now that your 37 to look good?

Yes! All the time. It’s stressy. Lol. I have a shoot coming up in a couple weeks in swimwear and looking good for that, has sent me moderately bonkers. But I am vain by nature. I don’t find it a chore to primp. I actually love it.

What are your thoughts on long distance romantic relationships? 

I’m fine with long distance relationships. I’m actually really used to them. Most of the guys that i’ve dated have had busy careers, that take them away a lot and my career too, is quite busy…so It’s kinda just the norm. Plus, romantically, i don’t think geography is an issue when you truly love someone…You’d still make it work….if you could be arsed to, or if it was meant to be…

Will you marry me?

Where’s the rock?

Will you marry me…have more kids, cook…clean and be my bed slave, then take me to male chauvinism classes??

No. Simples. Lol

Dinner, what are we eating, where and when?

Lol. Everyone wants to feed me…. I get this question almost 4 times a day, by strangers…

Can I be your slave…?

Noooooo. I’m not a Dom. I don’t get off on humiliating strange men. I once had a guy follow me around G.A.Y in London, begging to be my slave…He literally wouldn’t go away and kept doing everything I told him too…It was so dull….It couldn’t have annoyed me more! My friends were pissing themselves because they said, ‘You’re the only person I know, to go to the bar and come back with a slave.’ 

Can I spoil you?

No. I hate it when guys say that. Surely real men just spoil you anyway, without having to ask because they want to. If you have to ask a girl that, it means you will never ever do it. I buy my own things. 🙂

You said you’re back on the tv soon, which show?

Can’t tell you…

Being Asian/Oriental did you find it hard breaking into the glamour modelling industry?

No. I started out in LA and out there, you’re actually at an advantage, because everyone is blond, tanned and beautiful, or brunette tanned and ‘girl next door,‘ meaning they have it a lot tougher, because there’s so much competition. ‘Types’ (as in being ‘asian’) work ALL THE TIME, because there’s really just a handful of you in the entire city and they have to put you in the magazine. Lol.

Do you reckon you’ve met the man of your dreams…?

There is definitely someone who I really fancy right now. In fact, more than fancy….

Do you think you’re a good or bad role model for girls?

I’m not trying to be role model. I just write the diary of my life….The good bits and the bad bits….Sometimes i’m preachy and ‘role model’ like, other times i’m a swine. But that’s what makes me real. That’s what makes me human.

Do you make up the stories on your blog?

Noooooo. Not one piece of it is fabricated. Absolutely every single little bit has truthfully happened….to the point where I even MISS things out, because they’re too inappropriate, or because I don’t want anyone to know. All the people are real…They’ve just been given ‘nicknames’ because then they still have their own sense of privacy, yet can enjoy reading and reliving their piece of the blog without you knowing, who they are.

Over the years, are some of the ‘characters’ you’ve labelled with ‘other names’ and wrote about famous?

Oh God yeah….A lot more than you think.

How do you think your blog has become successful?

Word of mouth. It’s like Chinese Whispers…Someone tells someone, who tells someone else….I’ve met a lot of people in my time…So I guess, a lot of people have accidentally read the blog and just told someone else about it….It’s like a cheeky discovery.

What the most important thing to you?

Ruby & Junior. I don’t value anything more than their journey through life…..I’m a soft mum, so they literally walk all over me….

Love or Money?

Both. I like balance. Lol.

If i were to meet you in person, would I be shocked?

No. ‘Shocked’ isn’t the right word? You might feel awkward at first, But everyone feels a little bit weird, until the first five minutes of ‘pleasantries’ are over…I am SUPER DOOPER GOOD WITH PEOPLE.

Would you have another child?

Yes. I’d have one more…Yet, It’s not something that I NEED to do, as I already have Ruby & Junior. I have my hands kinda full, as a lone parent. So, if I knew that the guy was gonna stick around and we were a whole family and utterly committed…Then ofcourse…yeah. I’m sure parenting is much easier with two of you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Eye Tests, Frillies, Communication & No Bouncing

I’m feeling amazing today. No real reason why? I just feel AMAZING. And it’s always the best kinda ‘AMAZING,’ when you have no real reason to be happy…yet you just are. It rocks. I’m beaming. I kitten rolled out of the ‘right side of the bed,’ I guess? Maybe it’s the weather? Nah! I don’t even have wine? It must just be life. However, regardless, who needs a flipping reason. When you just feel great, you just feel great and I’ll put that in my frillies and………..wait…

(I don’t know what I was going to say there…? But see how smart I am now…I felt my fingers type ‘frillies’ and disciplined them…momentarily.) 

GOD! FEELING AMAZING AND SMART TODAY! There are trophies for that i’m sure!!

To be honest, It could’ve gone the other way! (What a surprise.) AS, I could’ve felt really disappointed at around 9am. HOWEVER, because I was already prepared and because i actually grew up a bit…;) I wasn’t. I took life on the chin and weirdly felt great, in fact supportive…and just ‘37 year old’ got it.

‘See! I’m not as much as a douche as you thought.’

You always think you have it hard, until to realize that others may have it a little harder. And It’s when you grow to understand people….or a person in particular…is when you become strong. You become free. That’s why I swear that communication is KEY.

I grew up today…and it rocked.

(There’s this really strange lady, in a long pink coat and a feathery fascinator on her head, galloping around, by racing horses, ‘hooting and hollering’ like she’s…well fucking nuts, Lol. She’s right in front of my eyes, on a tv screen. The zaniest combo. I mean she looks so posh, yet galloping so nuttily. She definitely can’t have had babies and just bred horses instead, because women who have had babies DO NOT GALLOP, nor do we BOUNCE ON THINGS. I had this conversation at a child’s birthday party on Sunday.)

ME: ‘I don’t trampoline or bounce on things. Anything could fall out of me.’

Other Mum: ‘Thank God you said that, cos I draw the line at bouncing…’

Junior: ‘Mum, can you get me another fish finger…’

(Literally, Elvis, your lost car keys..ANYTHING could fall out of me, if HUMANS HAVE….TWICE. I don’t bounce….on much. ;))

I went to Specsavers today for my 2 year eye test. I love and hate eye tests, yet today it was a breeze. There’s something so comforting and sexy about dark dark rooms, spits of light, whilst your half blind and the joy of cosiness, isn’t there.

The usual two bits I don’t like…is the part where they *puff* fast air into your eye balls. That parts shit. I hate that. AND when the poor optician has to get really REALLY close to your face with his torch, to shine his light in your eyes.

Today…I aced it. I loved it. I’m in a good mood remember. AND he loved that I had a blog. My eyes are dandy! My Optician is a gem and the service that I received today was by far five star! We even got to banter as he showed me ipad shots of the back of my eye.

Me: ‘I don’t know how you do that every day without getting creeped out.’

My eye test was hilarious, because I could just see? So I couldn’t tell much of a difference between stuff?

‘Is it sharper with 1, or sharper with 2?’

‘I can’t tell?? They’re the same. I’m so sorry, I’m so rubbish at this game.’

‘It’s not a game. It’s real life. Is it sharper with 3 or with 4?’

‘They’re similar?? I’m gonna go with 3? Wait! I’m lying to you. 4!’

‘I knew you were lying to me…Lol…That’s why I changed the lens. I had a hunch. Don’t lie to me.’

I kinda just wanted a Corona….All I could see was the pub. 🙂

‘I hope, i’m interesting in your blog.’

Anyway, the staff and service couldn’t be better at Specsavers. It really couldn’t. I was so impressed. I was even a ‘Diva’ afterwards and asked for a spare free set, because I needed to go to the gym…and with a sly smile and a bit of cheeky love…they gave me one, to make me feel better.

‘Thank you for catering to my Diva Request. Lol. Honestly, i’ll live…it doesn’t matter that much…’

Lady: ‘I’ve got them for you. 😉 ‘

Me: ‘Aww, I feel bad now. Lol’

(I didn’t. 😉 )

But GOSH YES, LIVE IS CURRENTLY AMAZING. I don’t actually know why i’m so happy. I just am…

Find your happy….

It’s worth it…

Chrissie x

 

 

Valentines, Vents & How You Should Adore Your Chick

I’ve just woken up with my son to my left, my kitten to my right and now with my black kitty specs wedged upon my face. I’m trying to read my phone blog notes, but I can’t because my Facebook notifications keep popping up and ruining my flow. Lol. I’m having to duck and weave my neck, just to read any notes, at all!

(No. I haven’t thought to just turn my notifications off.)

Today is a great day. I’m spending it with my babies, Ruby and Junior. We’re just gonna lunch and chill and hang out with my Mum. I’m a family girl…A ‘sassy’ family girl though. 🙂 But, I love these days because they’re never ever stressful.

They’re FREEEEEEE.

I’m cutting out anything and anyone that’s untrue, negative or not exactly good for the soul.  Life is far too short to let nonsense, that doesn’t matter… get the better of you.

Whatever will be will be and I have ultimate faith in life, well my version of it and no matter what, for the last 37 years, i’ve always seemed to land quite safely….with a cocktail in my hand. 🙂

 ‘I love cocktails, because they’re beautiful… like little works of art, that totally get you pissed.’

I’ve just watched my LA Bestie’s Instagram story…The one that sent me the lovely card, Theo Breaux.

He’s pissing himself because the ‘Shirtless Tonga Flag Bearer’ is back and has made the Winter Olympics news.

Theo: How is that news??

Now, Theo’s a big beast of a muscly, Gay GOD. No one looks better in Speedos. He’s one of my best best LA friends forever! We grew up together! Go search him on Insta and perv on his pics.

@TheoBreaux

Now, how he ISN’T impressed by the Shirtless Tonga Flag Bearer is not only beyond me, but upsetting me. It’s not even 10am UK time yet, and i’ve already told him off for hating on him…I mean, he’s one of life’s purest treasures. If HE WANTS to be a shirtless sportsman, from Tonga and wave a fucking flag…HE CAN...ALWAYS….(I hope he never stops. Lol)

‘Don’t be hating on the shirtless Tonga guy, dude.’

Oh and the Wunna Fan that I slagged off in my last blog. Lol. The one that only looked at the pictures and never thought to click on my blog, because he didn’t know there was one, sent me a comment reading…

‘ I don’t repeat mistakes..’

Then… he assured me that the blog had been read. 🙂

Yippppppppppppeeeeee!

I feel bad now. But i do go on rants, because the blog is really precious to me. Yet, I don’t feel that bad, because ‘my rant’ was true to how I felt, and I do want people to be reading the blog. So yeah. I’m gonna go with ‘nevermind’.

Expressing yourself is always better, than saying nothing and exploding.

People can always act anyway or say anything to me, when they’re mad. I always get it and never judge them…It’s only a moment. If I do anything well, I understand people. To me, FEELING something, is always better than being numb to emotion.

The ones that bottle things up, are the ones that turn into lunatics. The ‘Venters’ seem crazy, in that specific moment, yet are usually more stable emotionally, on the whole.

BUT WAIT….

….because it’s almost Valentines Day…I’m currently getting lots of messages, comments, dm’s etc…from you, asking me on Valentine’s Dates. I haven’t replied because my inbox is terrifying. I AM reading them all though and I AM very flattered.

So thank you for the love. I do appreciate it!

One got mad and called me..

‘IGNORANT’ 🙂

Another thought he had met me before at a Chinese Restaurant in Mayfair, with my friend ‘Kathy.‘ Eh? Who’s Kathy? How can someone think they’ve met me before, if they haven’t? I’m so confused? Lol. But yeah…It wasn’t me. If it was you…This guy wants to date you! Contact him.

One gent, who is a die hard Wunna Fan, (Great taste in Chicks) offered to fly me to Bermuda.

Another, other offered me a pint.

I also had an ‘out of the blue‘ message yesterday stating that I would fall in love with *the message sender* if I saw him, let him take me on a date and that I’d probably have to peel myself off him. Lol. The message was delivered in good humour.

Confident Banter.

I like confident banter. More guys should be more confident. It’s refreshing… He was attractive also. So, it’s flattering. It always makes you feel good doesn’t it..and women should FEEL GOOD.

However. peeling myself off someone would be seemingly quite awkward for everyone. Lol. I don’t think i’m ‘a peeler.’ (I might think about it, yet my SWAGGINESS gets the better of me.) You don’t want to be the girl that clutched onto some guys leg, as he was trying to ‘swift exit’ the bar, texting his ex, telling her that he misses her. Lol. (I actually might have done that before. 😉 )

When it comes to matters of the heart….

I’m a love bunny by nature. But i’m a good balance of wanting you, needing you and loving you…mixed in with being totally independent and free. I believe in love at first sight, yet know that it takes a really long time to understand someone, or learn about someone…

If you’re a guy, please DO treat the one that you adore with absolute love, this Valentines Day. The smallest things make people smile. Being a girl, I know that It means so much to us , even if we don’t say it.

Sooooo many of us chicks, get treated quite badly by gents through our entire jolly years on this Earth Ball…Therefore if there’s a day, where in which you CAN celebrate togetherness, romance and show someone that you appreciate them…WHY NOT.

It doesn’t have to be BIG, it doesn’t have to be clever…It can be anything from the most lavish evening out of utter, shower dripped extravagance, to a simple text that reads,

‘I love you..’

When it’s unexpected it’s the best…

That’s what love is about….Be a team!

 

 

Boys Night, Dating Tips & Auditions…

Image may contain: 1 person, outdoor

Really busy time, so i’m gonna have to bustle through this. I have a ‘dashy’ weekend ahead, which means schedules, train times, those Wunna Land bits of ‘showbizziness’ and…as always… life to conquer. I’ll do it. I always do. And right now, I never felt more confident. I try not to waste time looking over at what other people are doing (I used to do that a lot, it’s human nature…we all get a little nervy.)

However, instead, I’m now just focusing on MY land..WUNNA LAND. If you give something 100 percent…and you’re good at what you do, there is absolutely NO WAY in the jeepers, that you will not succeed.

Luckily, my job right now, is the art of  just ‘BEING ME.’ So, if I balls that up, then there’s no help for me. Nor is there enough wine to settle my soul.

I ended up on ‘boys night’ at Ego the other night. I did ‘Girls Night’ didn’t I, last Saturday? I’m one of those chicks who has a great mix of friends, be they girls, boys, young, old….The mix is a ‘jiggle’ but it’s great.

I love boys night. Not as much as girls night, as boys night is far more reserved…My chick friends and I literally tell each other EVERYTHING…and we don’t care, we’ll pour it all out, the good with the bad, with the ugly. Boys are less ‘drama’ and they keep their secrets to themselves…M guy friends are open, yet their level of ‘openess’ is carefully monitored by their pride and sense of masculinity.

(Aside from ‘Jonesez’ he’s like a girl and will cry out his problems over a cocktail, with me.)

But yes, I met Webbo, Dipper and Jonesez for dinner and drinks. They were ‘after work’ suited and booted and then I sort of just flounced in a bit late, all a beam, smiles and with a…

‘Two for One margaritas with a salted rim please!’

I am all about a salted rim. 🙂

We chatted, we caught up, they slagged other boys off and they drilled me about ‘the girls.’

‘What were they saying about us?’

‘What did she say about ME?’

‘Who’s best in bed out of…?’

‘Do they like me? I bet they slagged me off?’

‘Yeah, but honestly…gang bangs are gross…’

‘Why does he always come in and touch me…Don’t man slap me!!’

‘I’m not arsed me, I’ve just said i’m sharing with someone else…’

‘I love it when you get your nipple out on your selfies Wunna.’

‘Shall we eat. I’m starving..’

‘It’s not my fault..You picked her!’

‘Are you honestly still obsessing?’

‘Why are the dudes on your Facebook always asking to marry you?’

‘Yeah, but our Girls night isn’t sweet and lame. We don’t plait each others hair to Boyband tunes. We’re all SASSY…it’s hardcore.’

‘Why have you stopped getting cocktails Wunna?’

‘Stop trying to get me pissed.’

The thing about ‘Boys Night’ is that there is always a boys code…and even though i’m a chick, having all guy friends in LA…I know the code…It’s kinda like ‘Girl Code,’ but you don’t have to remind them not to say anything. ( I do prefer the drama of a ‘Girls Night’…and mainly because i’m a girl. Yet, I am sizzled over with a BOYS sense of inappropriate humour….I don’t care…It’s hilarious. So yes, boys night was ace! I know some great guys!)

BOY CODE, SAVE AS!

I’m currently sat with a half a Peroni, at The Carleton trying to smash out this blog. I was on a phone audition all last night. I had one through the afternoon and then I had to shoot, followed my bambinos and reply to all my ‘socials.’

At the same time, I was going back and forth on email with my agent…and it was all pretty manic. I’m having a really busy time, but i’m loving it. I’m really enjoying and i’m enjoying it because I do what I love.

I have noticed that I don’t like ‘fuss.’ I like everything to be taken care of…with no ‘fuss.’ I don’t like the ‘faffiness’ of projects…I just like to get on with things. That’s when it comes to work and dating….

This is actually a really good tip for guys..

GIRLS DO NOT LIKE FUSS…WE WANT YOU TO TAKE CARE OF SHIT…

Like, if you were to ask us out on a date…We’d prefer if it you took charge, stood up all manly and just said…

‘Right, are you free… on this date….to do this…? Great! I’ll pick you up at *this time…’

(And you organised everything, so we can just get dolled up, enjoy the night and adore you. That’s how it works. So, it’s not just when are you free? It’s…’Are you free on…? Great…I’ll pick you up at..’ It’s gentlemanly.)

In the past, whenever i’ve had to organise a man, i’ve hated it. I’m a ‘Girl Boss,’ I love it when a guy takes care of the little things. It’s thoughtful. They take the stress away from you.

I actually remember being sat at the Coffee Bean, outside in the sun, in West Hollywood, by the Beverly Center. I used to go there every morning.

This guy, with shoulder length blond hair and sunglasses, who was also a model, called ‘Berlin,’ used to sit with me and chat life, each morning…I remember how schooled he was in the art of dating…But I guess the LA boys are, because they do it so much and they do it well. They can’t treat a girl badly on a date, because the ‘show of it all’ is SO important in Hollywood…plus ALL THE GIRLS TALK. You get a bad rep…no girl with touch you.

Berlin: ‘Well, I just text her and told her that i’d love to do dinner with her at ‘Koi,’ tomorrow night and that i’d pick her up at 7pm…and because it was all sorted for her…she just said. I didn’t give her time to think. Lol. Chicks like to have everything organised for them.’

Then we’d go on our auditions for the day. But he was right! Lord knows what he’s up to now?

Anyway, I really do need to go…So sorry for the quickie blog ;)..but sometimes ‘quickies’ are awesome!

Busy, busy weekend ahead!

Hope you loved today’s selfies…

Image may contain: 1 person, smiling

 

Thank you for following my diary.

Chrissie x