Trips to Manchester, To Find Love….

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Did my hair, did my face, did my lips, did my pout, slipped into heels and got myself to the train station, which would delicately deliver me to Manchester airport, in one glamourous piece, ready for my ‘date,’ my ‘meet up.’

Before, we start, I’ll let you know I had the most amazing time. It was almost wonderous. I  wrongly thought that my date was in Liverpool, but it was actually in Manchester. Good job, he reminded me, before I arrived in the wrong city. Lol. He actually FLEW IN for work and then the date… (Bouji, innit. 😉 I like that about him.)

But why am I  so shocking!!!! I couldn’t even get the city right?

Yet, before I even got there, I shat myself with nerves, in my little Missy Empire pink dress. (Thank you for the dress. It was devilish. The little pink dress, is the NEW little black dress.) I stopped off, got two wines at The Mallard, in Doncaster, as @kingkenny1985 (who works there, and loves a Wunna Land insta story) had to *pause* and do a ‘double take..’ with a…

‘I just had to double check to see if it was you…You WILL get yourself into these situations…Lol’

I got to Platform 3B, which takes me straight to Manchester airport, kinda in a jiffy and that was after ‘The Draughtsman Ale House’ handed me a ‘half’ a tipple, to calm my nerves, because they were so excited about my little adventure! (Thank you for that! 🙂 )

(It fell out of my hand on the train, whilst I was messaging Miss.Muprhy and ‘drop poured’ into my OPEN, overnight bag. 😉 )

YIPPPPPPPPEEEEEeeeeeeee!

Everything just stank of ale! 🙂 All you could hear was this random Oriental, faux furred, big haired… idiot, SWEARING under her breath, like an angry, porny looking…ninja.

‘I can’t help it, i’m just drawn this way….’

My date was excited, messaged me the whole way through, to keep me in check, with his whereabouts. He did admit he was a little nervous.

Date: ‘Wow! I’m almost nervous to meet you…Lol.’

(I was ‘dropping fucking drinks’ nervous. But it always scares me when they’re nervous, because I don’t want them to think i’m some kind of goddess, because they’ll only be disappointed when they meet me, i’m sure.) 

Chick friend: ‘Not so adventurous and brave now, are you Wuns! Haha.’ 

Me: ‘Fuck off. I’m STILL l doing it. I’m STILL headed there. I never said I don’t actually feel the fear! Haha.’

He’d organised everything, so perfectly to a ‘T.’ Rooms were booked, everything has been scheduled, sorted and planned out. Almost wonderfully. All he wished for ME to do, was show up,’relax and enjoy.’

It’s almost like I had forgotten, that men like him…actually still existed. 

He’s a miracle. You wouldn’t even believe it. Before I even went on the date….and remember I had never ever met him in person….He had already managed to make me feel like a Princess…That’s the wrong word.

He made me feel appreciated, respected, beautiful and of absolute worth. 

All that ever matters to me, is how someone makes me feel… He didn’t even do it, with intent to manipulate or be showy….He did it, because he’s just built that way, he’s kind. He’s so much fun, but a proper old school gentleman.

I LOVED IT. It makes a guy so so sexy!

I arrived at the airport. I was driven to the hotel…It was raining so heavily outside, which I kinda love, when I know i’m INSIDE. There’s an evening comfort to it.

He arrived much earlier and had to dash off to work. I had school runs etc, so arrived in the evening…I had an envelope with my name upon it, with my room key ready and waiting for me…and with a smile, a wink and shake off of the rain, I was headed up the elevator, into my room…as the rain poured down, over Manchester Airport.

I got settled, took selfies, did lunges (lol) and went down to the bar for a white wine spritzer. The staff couldn’t have been more delightful. I was at The Clayton Hotel. right by the airport. I tottered in with my wink and pink dress…and Life was pretty much sorted from there.

He had just got done at the match….and was en route to meeting me.

The whole way through, he made sure I was utterly comfortable. He’s really organised, so he was telling me the plan, every hour. Lol.

Date: ‘Just order anything you need to eat or drink on the room, when you arrive. Don’t worry. Honestly, just enjoy…I’ll see you soon…’

I got my own drinks at the bar..whilst I waited.  I actually met loads of fun people, who were all off on sunny adventures. The gents loved me in that bar, but the chicks didn’t…and I hate that, because I’m lovely. Lol.

(Girls shouldn’t SCOWL at girls, they do not know. When you do, you lose your swag, your beauty & your level of confidence becomes very visible. Even if you feel it…don’t do it. I’m not there to steal your man, i’m on a flipping DATE!) 

But what can I say…My lil’ pink dress was ‘killer.’

Anyway…

Long story short…

He arrived…I was upstairs in the room…and when the door opened and I saw him…I filled with terror, smiled, (because you just godda charm that shit out) and then just told him that I was nervous.

He smiled…looked at me. He actually *paused* and looked me in the eye. I didn’t know whether to be happy for terrified. Did he think I was hot? Or did he think I was not? Yet, then when I snapped out of my few seconds of utter, charming *panic,* I then looked at HIM…and a calm, warmness sort from him…

Date: ‘Wow, you look great. You’re dressed like that and i’m dressed like this..Lol.  I’ve ordered food to the room…I’ve had such a stressful day, i need a drink. Lol. I’ve also ordered you another wine…’

(He already knew what i’d been drinking at the bar. I like that. It impresses me.) 

Then just like that, we sat down, we relaxed and we just started talking. He sat on the sofa and I sat a little away from him…But I noticed that I’m much more guarded now. I had my arms folded, to accessorize my smile. When I was on my first date with ‘The Swirl’ ages ago…I wasn’t like that, I was all cuddly and kissy…and…banter.

I was guarded that night. Open, friendly…yet nervous about potentially getting my little kitten heart broken…in the future. Yet, that’s not the way to go…You don’t know what’s gonna happen in the future…So, i relaxed, enjoyed by time, the moment and him.

He was alive He’s smart. He’s fun. He’s non judgemental. He knows a lot about people and life. He’s excited by me. He’s a family man. Someone who knows what truly matters to him, in life…

HE DIDN’T EVEN FLINCH, WHEN I TOLD HIM HOW MANY TIMES, I’D BEEN MARRIED ETC… He’s not terrified of me….He’s impressed by me?

He laughed and said…

‘I love that about you…At least I know you’re not scared of commitment, If i ever need to ask….Lol’ 

Then he said,

‘Datings always hard isn’t it…because you can meet a really pretty girl and she has an awful personality, or has no grasp on real life…You’re not like that, at all. I saw that you were a Mum and I loved that about you… I knew that you had real responsibilities and experienced real love…real life…’

OH MY GOD! DREAM!

(He’s also a Father… and I love a family man, don’t I! I also love that he’s bouji, but real. He’s not caught up with bullshit. He’s solid, stable, loving, sexy and a HAPPY singleton. He’s open to love….But would rather be on his own, than be with someone who wasn’t right! Just like ME!!!)

But the more we spoke, the more I relaxed I became. He was so interesting…so calm….

Date: ‘How old are you? God! You don’t look it at all…’

Me: ‘Everyone says that, but I don’t get it. It’s cos you didn’t know me when I was 20.’ 

Then we started eating and sipping our drinks…We started talking about footballers and glamour models and how they kinda have the same sort of job/lifestyle, yet one has the boy version and the other had the girl version…. of the shindig.

Date: ‘I guess, that’s why they always date?’

Me: ‘I just think sporty boys are filled with more testosterone, really. Lol’ 

Date: ‘Hahah. No, but when it comes to our lifestyle etc….Us guys, want to date an exciting girl. A *dangerous* girl. A beautiful girl…A.. ….’

Me: ‘Someone that gets ya juices flowing… I get it… Someone who isn’t Vanilla..’

Date: ‘Yeah. You’re that. You’re dangerous...(he had a smirk on his face, when he said it.) But you’re not just looks, like most…So, i’m almost sat here, hoping you want to see me again…I need to get shower… Hang on…’

Me: Why have you turned the lights off…?’

Date: ‘So I don’t scare you… Lol’

(Only a true vixen isn’t scared in the dark Haha. It’s the light that makes her feel unnerved.)

The rest of the evening was divine. We relaxed. We shared stories. I needed to relax a lot more than he did, if I’m honest. He was confident, caring, he knew life. He’s one of those ‘good at everything,’ guys… But so so humble.

Me: ‘There isn’t anything you can’t do? What are you rubbish at?’

Date: ‘I can’t dance well. I’m an athlete, so I can move…But I just don’t find it easy to dance. Hahaha. ‘

Then because he felt I was tense, he walked his fingers up my back and pushed on parts that he felt were tense.

It was literally the most gentle thing, and it felt SO good.

He was GROWN. He was full MAN. Like, he raised the bar, on what being a true man is! He’s an  actual ‘great at everything,’ guy, with a successful career, who’s a wonderful father/family guy. Someone who’s loving, sexy… and truly truly knows how to take care of a woman…on every level.

He walked his fingers up to the top of my back, just under my neck and pushed his fingers down to release tension….I looked at him, through a mirror…and we smiled…

That was the part where I trusted him…and he massaged me….

The next morning, I woke up at The Clayton Hotel, by Manchester Airport…after the most wonderful time, with the most thoughtful man I had every met.

It couldn’t even be real. It was like a dream….He was IMPRESSIVE. I like to feel impressed, don’t I? And Cupid properly threw in a gem, this time around….It’s like The Gods are trying to show me my options…

I swear…

I literally haven’t met a more generous, or more thoughtful man ever, who is dripping in sex appeal. He’s not even wet with his kindness. He’s charming. But not fake. He’s real. He’s someone you never need to prompt, because he’s always waaay ahead of you. I love that! He’s really intelligent.

(‘Well, we were only working a couple hours a day. There was a lot of free time. In that time, I got a degree…so I could use it later…Most of the guys don’t think to do that. I even speak five languages now…and run two companies…’) 

There’s a sophistication to him, that’s delivered with punctuated fun. He’s not a lose cannon. He’s stable. His feet are firmly on the ground. Yet, at the same time, he’s not ‘vanilla.’

For once, I got to feel like a girl. I got to feel so precious. I got to feel ‘taken care of,‘ instead of ‘having to take care of…’ I know so many women (including myself) who never get to feel like that!

He’s a good person…

Date: ‘I hope you want to see me again…I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I hope so. I’ll message you as soon as I get home…’ 

I can’t honestly have been that lucky?

Haha…it felt so ‘Pretty Woman.’

What is happening in my life right now?

If i don’t see this guy again, I will officially be the stupidest girl in the world. What a gentleman. What an amazing man. I don’t think i’ve ever been treated that well!!

I’m stunned…

I took the 10.53, from Platform 3A at Manchester Airport, back home, with my Red Bull…so I could arrive in time for a school run. 

Cashier: ‘You know it’s £2.90…’

Me: ‘Yeah…but fuck it, I need it..’

 

On my train home…

(After some chick gave me daggers and rammed her luggage on wheels into me. Lol. You can’t *ram* me after i’ve just been Princess treated!)

Miss. (who I love) Murphy: ‘The guys in the office who follow you avidly want to know which………he is? Liam has worked out that… Hahaha. This is hilarious!’

Firmonnell: ‘Did you fancy him? He sounds so perfect. How did it go!!!??!!! He’s sexy!’

Laura Grace: ‘Tell me everything…’

Halewood: ‘What happened!!!! You lucky bitch!’

Man sitting next to me: ‘I feel like i’ve seen you before….? Oh shit! I follow you on insta. How was the…’

Bartender Girl: ‘How was it then!!?!’

King Kenny: ‘How did it all go?’

Sarah T: ‘Who is this guy!!!!’

Big Brother Rex: ‘Must’ve been a good… with ya hair like that! 😉 Hahaha. ‘

 

3.30pm…

Ruby: ‘I’m glad you’re back Mum. How was he?’

 

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All the F****

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PR: ‘I don’t know what the F*** you think you’re doing, with this whole impromptu *win a date for a dare* thing?  Lol…You can’t just go around doing his dares, if they aren’t….’

ME: ‘It’s fun! It just happened by accident on my *Ask Me Anything.* Don’t blame me! Blame Insta! Haha. He hasn’t done it yet! So far, it’s just banter. Relax.’

PR: ‘If he wins a date…’

Me: ‘He probably will, as I’d rather have a couple rums, than subject myself to disturbing Tom Foolery.’

PR: ‘Stop, fucking talking over me. Haha. If he wins a date…You’re taking security. You don’t even know him. I’m coming too.’

Me: ‘Ugh. It’s not a PR operation. *Oh! Hi, Winner! Meet my PR & this giant mountain of a man, who will head butt you, if you annoy me…Romance is alive.’ 

PR: ‘Does it look like he’s gonna do it?’

Me: ‘Yeah. He looks tattooey. He even sent me a picture of what he’s thinking about getting done! He looks like he gets inked every 2 weeks… 🙂 🙂 🙂 ‘

And with a roll of her eyes and wiggle from Wunna Land, laughter filled the room, after a three second *pause* of fear and worry.

People worry too much.

Don’t!! It’s STICKY.

I’m an adventurer. I’m a life spirit. Even though i’m much more sensible and tame in my old age…The flirty 30’s. The wild streak, is just something, you can’t scrub off with a loofah. No matter how hard to scrubble.

It’s these moments that bring ‘magic,’ back to your life. It’ll be a memory. A forever, memory! Plus, I think he SHOULD get rewarded for being so bold. Being so fun! I’m grateful for people like him.

I love excitement. I live for it….Of course, with a side of love and a ‘swing’ of a great handbag. 

To be honest…

..I actually, think i’ve been accidentally, CLEVER about all this. Yes, it happened by accident, but  I decided to EMBRACE IT. Lots of people don’t other. I try and engage and appreciate, ALL the time.

I’m an entertainer. But I’m an entertainer, a model, a blogger…of the NEW kind…FRESH SLIDES…

I’m the innovative kind, where YOU can actually come be a PART OF MY ‘SHOW.’ Be a part of Wunna Land. Do life properly and connect with me, as our life paths cross. This blog has literally turned into a written word, reality show. It’s interactive…It’s modern. It’s what I used to talk about 10 years ago..But now it’s kinda happening.

It’s cool…

That Psychic in West Hollywood..2004. At 7.19 pm. It was  Tuesday night in LA.

( I was in jeans and this shit read belly top, that read ‘Manteaser‘ on it, instead of ‘Malteasers. WHAT THE FUCK WAS I WEARING!! And why did I start the blog with a F***, if I was just going to go ahead and swear anyway? Haha. Why do I bother, trying to be decent?)

Psychic: ‘You will start to write something, that will be the something that will eventually put your name in lights. Big lights… Opportunities, are gonna come your way..’

‘I’m a model. But I want to be a Popstar. I’ve just recorded a song with Capital Records..and..’

‘That will never happen. You’ll stay a model. You’ll actually become an actress. That is what you’re naturally good at. You’re a good model, because you’re a phenomenal actress. You’re a talent. But you’ll start to write something…and that is what will make you.You’re going to be a star. All I can see, is your name in lights…Do you have a diary?’

‘No…Anyway, what about my love life..’

( I walked out feeling unfulfilled.) 

WHY DO I ALWAYS RAMBLE!!!???!

Right. So yes! Lots of work. Lots of attention on my social stories right now. I thank you for that and all your messages of support! I put a lot into them…and I know it all seems ‘banter,’ but I do work hard for a ‘like‘ or a bit of ‘look at me.’ 

Hahaha…

..and without you responding, I wouldn’t have a story to tell. That’s why I love my ‘Ask me anything‘ because everyday, I get to learn about YOU,  from your questions, as you learn about ME. I actualyl never feel lonely because of it…

I love people…

Plus, with me NOT being as ‘out and about‘ as usual, due to my 21 day thing, it helps to keep my juicy flow of banter… alive.

I’m on Day 13! It’s almost getting harder now.

21 Days!!! Just Breathe OUT, Wunna!

(Lots of messages about this. But I just want to do it privately, for now. Then I’ll make you applaud me, once I know I’m steady, on good solid ground. 🙂 Oh and don’t fret. It’s not anything crazy. I’m not a massive druggie or anything. It’s just a habit, a wee little habit, that I needed to kick.)

Okay, to my love life…

(There’s literally not enough hours in the fucking day. I keep running through, all the things that I need to do, before the school run!! Utilize time! Utilize, time!  

So! Remember that I told you that I was going to meet ‘The Gent’ on the 18th, for a ‘friendly’ meet up. Well, it’s kinda like a date…but without the rigid formality. My chick friend wanted him to stand me up, because she wanted me to delusionally pine over ‘T Bone.’

I sent ‘T Bone’ a message yesterday. He opened and maybe with a shrug of disinterest, he didn’t respond. He had better life ‘tings’ to do. Haha.. He usually replies…Briefly. So he’s either just focusing on work, doesn’t fancy me anymore, busy, or is with someone…

Simples…

Break it down, Chicks!

*Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…*

‘The Older Gent’ who sent me his first message a couple weeks ago, got in touch with me over the last few days and has no intention of ‘standing up’ Wunna Land. In fact, he seems pretty organised. He seems pretty ‘together.’ Pretty stable and grown. He seems reliable. He works hard. He kept his word. He’s a father. Ex Pro Footballer. Retired. Now a pundit.  But most of all, he seems to care about my potential ‘maybe’ needs? He’s attentive. He’s nurturing. He’s really intelligent, without being boring. He’s flying in for work, from a different nearby country.

He seems lovely…

…and that’s refreshing, because the guys I meet, usually care about themselves FIRST, before anyone..Well any chick, that is. Or maybe, it’s just me? I’ve never really encountered any decent gent, (aside from one) who knew how to care for me, or look after me, without a prompt. Or without reading from the ‘Charm Script.’

Maybe that comes with age?

No, that’s wrong. I’m not ageist. It comes from life experience. Being lovely and respectful is just something you are. It’s not something you do because of an age.

T Bone is actually ALSO, lovely and respectful. But, right now, he needs to do him…and IS. I can’t knock him for that. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind dying a legend. Deservedly. However, what he doesn’t realize is that he already will. A great deal of people, including myself, respect what he’s already achieved in his life. I’m inspired by him.

(He’s occupation is also…football. He’s moved to the other side of the world, right now.) 

Anyway…That’s T Bone…aka The Swirl.

Back to ‘The Gent’….

On the 18th,  I’m going to meet The Gent in Liverpool, after he’s flown in and worked. I’ve never met before? I don’t know him?

Me: I need a new outfit and new hair!

Lizzie P: ‘Why do you need to spend so much money on looking good, when he’s only going to treat you badly, in the end? They always start off being lovely. T Bone was FILLED with loveliness and excitement at first.’

Me: ‘Hi. I’m Chrissie. I’m a glamour puss. You know that! I don’t live LIFE, like that! I want to look nice. If it goes well, then great. If it doesn’t then..Hey I looked fabulous! He’ll remember that! Haha.’ 

Lizzie P: ‘We’ll see…’

Then she shakes he head at me and walks off. Lol.

So much is going on? Real Dates. Old Flames. New Habit Breaks. Tattoo challenges.. Insta Love. All the work. Good friends. Family. Babies…

All sorts…

I kinda need a vino…

Chrissie x

Ps: Miss. (Does PR) Murphy, was on a late night train from Yorkshire to Essex last night, after approximately ‘seven wines’ and got excited about my MadLipz, Voice Over App. An app where you can put your own voice and words, over famous movie & tv scenes. I’m addicted. Mine have been ACE.  She downloaded the app. on the train, last night,en route to Essex, after a…

‘WTF is this??’

It ended like this…

‘Shit! I just opened it on the train and it was some violent swearing scene! Hahaha.’

I’m sure she was fine. Everyone loves a ‘seven wines and swearing’ combo.

 

 

 

 

 

 

No message is A message….. ;)

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Simmie Love: ‘Did you whatsapp that message to The Swirl?’

Me: ‘Yeah. He hasn’t read it yet…’

Simme Love: ‘If he reads it and doesn’t reply, know that no message, IS a message. That whole time, he was probably dating someone..’

Me: ‘It’s not that dramatic. I’ll just snapchat it to him later. We’re in totally different time zones. It’s like midnight there.’ 

No message, is a message…what a great thing to remember..

How are you all? My babies are back at school. I’ve smashed a business meeting, two shoots and an audition, already and it’s not even 3pm.

Don’t hate me cos i’m jiggly. 😉

I’m back on track. All feels delightful. I’m meant to be answering your Insta questions (that I do daily) on my blog today, but there hasn’t been a lot of ‘JUICY’ questions. They’ve all been a bit ‘same old,’ and dull.

I’m going through an exciting change and i’m feeling ya love.

Today, I strutted towards my local supermarket and as I did, this older Yorkshire guy, poked his head out the window and shouted..

‘Here! Love! Them pictures that your posting are getting better & better! I love that one that you put up this morning…Really good. 😉 ‘

And it made me smile, not because of the recognition..which is always good in my old age. Everyone likes it. But because it made me realize that it’s the smallest things, that make me smile.

I buzzed off what he said…

All it took was a little ‘shout out’ of appreciation…and I was beaming. (I do hear it a lot online…yet it was good to receive a real life shout out, as I’ve heard that people are often too scared to do that?

You shouldn’t be. I’m the warmest soul you’re ever gonna meet. Yeah, i’m banter. Yeah I’m sassy…But i’m jolly. Lol.

It’s funny because as girls, we never feel appreciated enough, do we? Our history makes us harder and makes us doubt ourselves at times. But don’t…because there are little things that you will find that empower you. Little things, that are filled with appreciation.

I’ve slowly through time BECOME so independant, because I had to. I never wanted to feel like I had to rely on anyone else. I never wanted to feel like I had to rely on a guy in a relationship., because no one really meant ‘forever..’

Whereas, if i’m being honest…all I would want is for a guy, to take me by the hand, tell me that everything’s going to be okay and take care of me, so I can enjoy being a girl….without having to always ‘sass’ it out.

Don’t get me wrong, i’m ambitious and determined, so I want my own ting and career going down…YET, emotionally, i’d love a true Knight…once that wouldn’t think twice, when it comes to loving, caring and looking after me. I need a REAL MAN.

Whatsapp Msg:

Chick friend: ‘Hey. What’s happening with you? Need a catch up soon…He’s gone.. and I need some fun..’

SEE! We’re ALL going through it…’

I have my friendly ‘meet up’ shortly, don’t I and i’m excited for it…and every time ‘T Bone’ is more and more disinterested…it kinda makes me more excited for what lies ahead. (Notice that I all him both nicknames, depending on what i’m typing. Lol. Yes. I’m a lunatic.) 

Livvy C: ‘I kinda want him to stand you up in a way, in the nicest way.’

Me: ‘Why?’

Livvy C: ‘I want him to be a douche…because I think you’re gonna meet him, he’ll be all delightful and you’ll be IMMEDIATELY sprung..as always..’

Me: ‘No. I’m going into it on a friendly basis….I’m cool…’

Livvy C: ‘There’s just someone that you’re meant for…and I just don’t want you to get over excited…and gush…because you do that…’

Me: ‘Not with everyone..’

Livvy C: ‘Haha. True. But you’re gonna like him…and he’s DEFINITELY going to like you..and because he’s older than you, he’s going to baby you.’

It’s almost like she would prefer me to delusionally gush over ‘T Bone.’ Yet my spirit is one of adventure…and so far, all seems great. Plus, i’m equipped for a ‘stand up,’ (a ‘stand up won’t happen,) yet it’s not like it hasn’t happened to me a million times before..

(A guy once stood me up in a hotel room in London…who i’d known for a really long time…)

But all that to one side…Life is really good. I feel like my career is on the up. I always say, ‘slow and steady…’ but moving…and moving is better than still.

The first thing I Googled this morning was DEFINITELY..

‘Exercises to tighten your vagina..’

..followed by some X rated ‘on my own’ stuff. Lol 😉

So yeah…my world’s complete.

How’s yours?

ps/ I never know what’s going to happen to me, I always know that it’s going to be something wonderful.

New Dates, Mates & Old Flames…

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LA Bestie: ‘How the hell are you still alone’

Me: ‘Haha. Wow! Cheers. Stop saying ALONE at me. I’m fine. FFs.’

LA Bestie: ‘I actually meant ALIVE. Lol. I really did.’

Me: ‘Oh? That…I definitely don’t know! Just lucky aren’t I. 😉 I need a fresh orange juice..’

LA Bestie: ‘What?? Honestly. What has happened to you?? Dead to me. Orange juice?’ 

Me: ‘IN MY MALIBU, you idiot. I don’t order juice.’

How’ve you all been? I’ve had to take a few days off blogging, because work, auditions. socializing, surprises, shocks and single mum life sped into a WHOLE different lane and I was pretty much slow jogging in stillettos behind. If i didn’t hit *pause* I would’ve lost the plot!

I like to keep on top of things. I’m not one to lag behind with ease… 

I hate not managing things appropriately. It stresses me out.

So yeah, right now, my life’s not easy.  I’m happy. But it ain’t easy. It’s a really hard juggle, to be honest. But THANK GOD, i’m back to ‘tipper tappering’ at my laptop, because I swear, it’s my saving grace. (Well, once I get my ‘swing’ back, anyhow. At first it’s shit and definitely feels like it needs rum cocktails pouring all over it.)

RUM TING PLEASE…

I’m just gonna jump the gun and tell you that I got this voice note, the other day, that followed a message. Remember I told you that a few weeks ago, a guy, a lovely older gentleman, had tinkered into my DM’s.

I’ve hardly ever been on a date with anyone older than me…I don’t know why? Maybe because my surroundings are always young. The last older guy, that I actually went on a date with…was Matt Dillon..whilst I was in LA. 

Crackers innit!

(Wait, I’ve lied. both ‘London Business Man’ and ‘Eton Mess’ were older than me. Yet, only by a couple years…They kinda seem boyish in comparison to the ‘voice note’ guy Yet, they’re both happily in relationships now…& I’m happy for them, as they certainly weren’t right for me. I can be treated better than that.) 

ANYWAY….The Gentleman..

He initially messaged me with a picture and then a couple voice notes…and I liked it, because hearing someones voice makes a difference. (Not my awful voice though.) But it’s true…A voice or a video helps a connection… doesn’t it?

I felt that he was SO polite and gentle, yet sweet and fun. He was really respectful. He wasn’t smutty. He led with his romantic foot forward. And I am ever so used to hearing smut, or the game of charm.

I mean, remember that also a couple weeks ago, a German footballer, slid into my insta DM’s…and was pretty much the opposite. He started with the usual ‘you’re beautiful’ stuff…then led it straight to the land of Smut.

I get that…it’s fine…However…

..at that point, I just ignored him…cos whatever…I’m too old for that shit.

Anyway, the other guy, who I always label a ‘gentleman.’ (I say label, because I haven’t actually spoken to him much and I’ve certainly never met him.) Back to the point..He sent me a message at the weekend…Was it Friday? AGAIN, followed by a voice note.

I like a surprise voice note..or video.

It helps me connect faster…(I’ve said that already, haven’t I?) 

Weeks ago, and I did blog this, he had asked if I’d like to go on a ‘friendly dinner,‘ with him, to ‘say hi, properly.’ He doesn’t live in the country, yet obviously he ventures to the UK quite a lot with work. His occupation…Pundit. He’s a retired footballer.

I should balls and a nets for my yard of milkshake, as it seems they’re the only guys that want to play Wunna Land, right now? They find me..

So, I get this message, at the weekend, saying that he’ll be over here on 18th…for work and it would be lovely to meet me.

Wow! Impressed!

I get asked out quite a lot…(that isn’t meant to sound conceited…it’s just the truth and we love a bit of truth in Wunna Land.) I always say ‘no.’ Or just ignore the message. I mean, I must be a sucker for eternal loneliness, because I definitely would love to find my Mr.Right, yet I ignore everyone who DM’s me. Lol.

It’s because i’m a happy singleton.

I’m never miserable about single life. I enjoy life. I still enjoy love. I’m just one of those chicks, who is sure my Knight will saunter up out of nowhere…one day, when he’s had his tea and ready. 

Fate will force him to…

Anyway, I haven’t ignored this ‘gentleman.‘ I need to give him a nickname, don’t I? That’ll come. Yet, bottom line…I’ve agreed to go meet him for ‘friendly dinnering,’ simply because he was so utterly and sincerely sweet to me via voice note. He treated me really normally, yet like a lady. He sounded nurturing and I love nurturing ‘I’ll keep you safe ‘ kinda men.

So, we’ll see what happens…I’m open to it..

I feel like i’ve had this really fun Summer of debauchery and irresponsible, sunshiny behaviour. We’ll all remember Summer ’18. It was fun. Yet, I kinda miss focusing on what i’m doing. Glamorously, of course.  I love what I do and I love what I have…and I’m really lucky, to have the mini opportunities, come my way…Hopefully, one day, the mini ones, will turn into BIG ones.

If i’m being honest…

I kinda started to feel stifled, over the last couple weeks and I’ve been on the search for excitement and adventure. A new chapter, with more balance. You’re a product of your environment..I was becoming one…and not being a chick to enjoy the ‘same old ting,’ I got my balance sorted.

I found me a new chapter..

(…and it took nothing but determination.. Something I am oozed in.)

I’ve been with my family. (My strength.)  I’ve been with the kids. (My world.) I’ve worked hard, (my passion)… auditioned lots (my challenge)..and still managed to cocktail my way to happiness, whilst being over eyelashes, boobied and fully lipped. (Just who I am.)

Let’s *clink* wine glasses to that!

Summer 2018, was really important to me, because I learnt a lot about myself…and I was actually a little broken hearted, through it. Hence why I celebrated, enjoyed and drank a lot. Well, I say broken hearted…but I began with a solid stance. Then emotionally ventured to ‘all over the place,’ which led me to naughty fun (because of course I’m that way inclined..) and was left with my eyes open...WIDE open…my ears a listening (they could hear everything once more)…and as I screwed my head back on, bundled up my heart strings, back into my hands, ready for the next round of blissful, romantic tugging…I realized that my mind, my gut…my body…my everything…just kept lulling back to, reflecting back to…and utterly missing….(back to…lol)…..

..The Swirl.

(Who I renamed ‘T Bone.’)

So, I know that i’m not gonna to go through life, without encountering ‘T Bone’ again…I mean, I might do? But I doubt it, because we get on so well…

My gut just tells me…

Yet the timing of it all…. ‘our ting,’ has always been off. Life has never cut me some slack with that old timing shindig. But I’m willing to see and willing to wait on it.

Right now, he’s no where near me, he recently moved to another country for work…and he’s pretty focused on that and doing his version of life out there.

So, now that i’ve done my Summer of ‘heartache’ (lol…a heartache, that I didn’t realize was happening…) I’m pretty ready to explore…and let my little kitty eyes, take a peeky and who else, of DECENT POTENTIAL…that i’m attracted to… is a knocking?

Right?

September 18th…’Friendly dinner,’ here I come…

Ps? I keep getting a Flashback of Ms.Derry, being sat on the  ‘door wide open’ loo, with her leopard print shorts down by her ankles, as she wee’d, told me she fractured her hand, because she fell, whilst flamenco dancing down the pavement. She was in those shorts, that night too.

Then she wiped up, jumped up, pulled this make up stamper thing, out of her hand bag and stamped my hand with a tiny, black love heart.

It was beautiful. Made me smile.

Be beautiful always…

Life, Love & Sports Day

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Morning! Morning! I hope you’re all well. Thank you so much for taking the time to click into Wunna Land. I appreciate it madly. It makes a little oriental chick, from Yorkshire smile. When you make someone smile, they say it comes back to you threefold..with love. (Sometimes, it comes back to you via gin. Either way…you’re looking at a bonus.) 

Over the last couple days, i’ve been pretty stressed. Just wallowing around in it for attention. Lol.  I could hand pity parties out of my pocket right now. 🙂  I’ve laid awake in bed, staring at my ceiling at 2am, because that solves everything, doesn’t it. 😉 I’ve downloaded a meditation app, (the ‘Breethe’ app…) which I do actually think is great. I’m quite a spiritual little swine. (I’m not ‘hippie/save the trees‘ with it though. Just in tune with my tender kitten soul… and all that.) I have quite a busy mind and it needs to be calmed. Maybe that’s why i enjoy a good drink. It quietens the mind madness for a while….well, before I start drunk messaging. 😉

If i’m being honest, I’ve been feeling under pressure because of this book i’ve got to write. My fear of writing this book is so immense that i’m kinda letting everything bundle on top of me, which is an odd way for me to deal with the situation, as I really don’t like the art of bundling. It’s clumsy. I’m sharp. Why am I buffooning about?

But away from that…(as she pretends it’s not happening..)

Yesterday I learnt how precious LIFE is. How important LOVE is. How vital it is to make sure all the people you care about, all the people you love, all the people you forgot to show love to KNOW, HOW MUCH they mean to you.

Life’s really short and within a *blink* it whizzes past you, or even worse get’s taken away from you, without your consent. Basically, if the only problem I have, is the fact that i’m stressing over writing some book, then on the whole i’m pretty lucky lady. I need to pull myself together. I’m being a baby.

Let’s frisbee back to positive…

Life’s pretty great at the moment. I’m happy. I’m not skin to the wind ‘buzzing,‘ but i’m certainly grateful and filled with ‘ooh laa.’ I feel pretty strong and even though I seem to have prioritized work over my social life, I’ve prioritized my family, as in the babies, over everything right now and it’s made me feel really powerful.

I love to keep things simple and loving unconditionally is the easiest thing in the world to me. When I operate in such a way, i’m magic.

Wednesday was great. The kids had Sports Day and I got to catch up with the school mums. (We’re all busy women, who hardly ever get to check in with each other and they’re such a lovely bunch, so it’s always really awesome.) Our kids go to a local Private school in West Yorkshire. I never used to be able to show up to things like Sports Day, or any of the school ‘dilly dallies,‘ due to work.

Yet now, I can. I now never EVER miss anything they do, at all…EVER!!! It means so much to me. More importantly it means SO much to them.

It makes my entire world go around.

Unfortunately, I showed up with some dodgy giant umbrella…It was the size of my entire body…and blue. Urgh! (I don’t like blue, it’s my least favourite colour. My favourite colour is yellow. I like a yellow rose.)

Anyway, when anyone lends me an umbrella, they can never give me a normal flipping shot at life…The last umbrella I borrowed had giant happy PIGS on it and no one can *BOSS* that out, even when the pigs look moderately chipper.

It was the sunniest, most humid day ever. Didn’t even rain. Lol. Don’t know why I thought it was gonna rain, must be the optimist in me? 😉 Luckily, ‘Miss Murphy‘ showed up with a dense floral blanket, which kinda lightened the blow..

Miss.Murphy: ‘I think i’ve illegally parked, in front of some gates??’

Me: ‘It’ll be ‘right.. Lol.’

We rocked up, everyone was already there and well I thought we were moderately organised…

Me: ‘We’re fine, between us we have a giant umbrella, a floral blanket and a faux fur..’

(What more could you need in life?) 

The other Mums had brought things like…. fold up chairs, happy faces, husbands, snacks… and ‘Bobby’ (who had spent the morning filming ‘Victoria’) even brought a flipping POP UP TENT, like we were at Creamfields!

Bobby: ‘Get in it then..’

Me: ‘Nah…You’re alright. Lol.’

She’s a nutter, but I love her. She makes my eyes smile. She’s ACE. I think she may have asked to lick ice creams and told lonely fathers that she was spending the rest of the day…nude.

(I’d never seen a gentleman beam as much.)

The day was great. It was just filled with that good old, real life excitement. I mean, Miss Murphy, Bobby and I may have brought the worse accessories, between us. However our *yells* of competitive encouragement , surely made our style misfortunes, okay?

Let’s just say we weren’t about the ‘taking part‘ and all about THE WIN. Hahaha. (Which is fine if you’re ‘Murphy’ and you’ve birthed some five year old sporting champion. Junior spent the day holding his teachers hand and making her run races with him.) 

Mumma P: ‘To make the Wunna Babies TRY to win anything, you have to have a modelling contract, gifts, or a selfie opportunity at the finish line, so they can at least make it worth their while. Lol’

Me: ‘Yeah..Lol. Ruby did ask me what she would get if she won the races and when I said house points for your team, she just looked at me like I was an idiot. Haha.’ 

BBQ’s, Ice creams and good clean fun occurred and you need spurts of good clean fun, don’t you? I’m kinda loving life right now. I’m feeling all grown up. I’m no longer selling myself short. I’ve got my career on track and I’m chipper.

If you’ve been following any of my ‘socials,’ you’ll know that I received a bunch of messages the other day, from a couple of beings who kept branding me as ‘fake.’ 

I’m polite. But I’m not fake. I get why you may think that though. Yet, let me tells you… I’m literally the warmest little piece of Burmese bunkin’ you’ll ever really run into. It’s only because you haven’t had the delightful pleasure of meeting me in person. 🙂 If you did know me personally, you’d go with ‘immature.’ 😉  You might even add in a ‘beautiful.’ 😉

My chick friends go with ‘dickhead.’ Firmonnell (who is one of my closest chick friends,) called me a ‘dickhead’ at least 9 times in the space of 4 messages yesterday. She had a needy Thursday. 🙂 I love her. I love it when she’s mad at me. Nothing pleases me more. And she can’t just shout at me once, she has to Snapchat Filter shout at me, 40 times in a row and I just can’t take it seriously…All I do is piss myself laughing…which winds her up more.

Then I bumped into ‘Hustle,’ who needed a wee at ‘Ego.’ She walked past me, whilst telling me that her love life was shit and her last date ‘pied her off’ after stealing money out her purse. To make it even better…She actually saw him again and went on another date. I love that about ‘Hustle’ like me, she’s resilient. (Code for: Were both so, so foolish.)

Oh wait? No. He didn’t pie her off. The ‘Date in the woods’ dude, did? (Hahaha…and she’s gonna kill me for saying this…) But she thinks he didn’t want to speak to her again, because she may have accidentally pooed her pants. Lol.

HAHAHAHAHA. I’M DYING. That’s disgusting. Lol.

I love how she wonders why he stopped messaging? It’s only funny because she’s so beautiful. I’m so delighted she may have excreted in her own jeans.

We always get pied.

With me, I’m a ‘grower.’ I’m someone who may catch your eye initially…Then you’ll judge me and decide to not like me…..Then you’ll have a little think, date far less awesome chicks and realize i’m actually the girl of ya dreams. 😉

God! How long was this blog? Lol. Sorry!

Chrissie x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Life Magic, Workaholics & Privacy Please…

Happy Sunday! I’m feeling great. I had a proper ‘chill day’ yesterday and I’m enjoying every single second of it. I still feel like the luckiest girl alive and as long as that feeling is still infusing it’s way, through my little kitten soul, then i’m happy! 🙂 I’m really happy. I do get stressed, as I tend to worry more than necessary. Yet, over the last few years, i’ve kinda just trained myself to let life take it’s natural course of ‘ooh laa.’

I don’t know why I didn’t learn that sooner, when I was in LA? I went through SO MUCH, I wish you could see into my mind, as I wouldn’t even know where to begin. Lol.

Prep, practice, caution and all sorts of other logical things, DO MAKE SENSE. (I’m not a logical person, I spent my teens wishing upon stars. I spent the first part of my 20’s following ‘The Secret’ and the rest of the time doing tequila dances with my fingers crossed. 🙂 )

 YET, there’s always an overpowering *magic*…a LIFE MAGIC, that no matter how much you prep,‘ how long you ‘practice’ or how carefully you tread…that ‘magic’ bursts out of nowhere and glistens your situation with ‘destiny.’ It’s something you can’t control…It’s in the air and whirls by with an ‘everything happens for a reason‘ flag.

What’s yours, is yours. What you’re meant to get, you will. If it’s not meant to be part of your story…It won’t be.

I’ve had two days off picture taking and it’s actually felt like bliss. 🙂 I woke up this morning, Junior (my baby son) was spooning my left arm, before going off to his Dads. The babies are my entire world. They just make my life, so complete. I LOVE THEM MADLY. I can’t even tell you.

But, with them both at their dads, I had loads of time to just indulge in wearing my comfies, ( I say ‘comfies’ i’m usually topless, because it makes me feel free.) Then I chilled and started smearing my new ‘Bee Venom’ cream all over my face, before peacefully checking through my ‘socials.’

(Which reminds me..I just need to send someone a Whatsapp. One sec…

…Eww! Lol…They’ve read it and ignored it.)

What I’m gonna tell you about the ‘Bee Venom’ cream, I’ve been using (and I use the one by Venom Skincare,)  is that it’s actually AMAZING. And I wouldn’t just say that. It’s the only cream that i’ve put on my face in the morning, that has actually made me *squeak* because it felt so fresh and blissful. I’m not at all kidding. It’s by VENOMSKINCARE.CO.UK.  And since my diet’s out the window, (I could eat a flipping donkey right now,) I at least need my FACE to look halfway decent, as I grow older.

Yes, I did have it sent to me to try…But sometimes you get sent a lot of things, that areokayish.’ This is the OPPOSITE. It actually feels amazing and to me, what something FEELS LIKE, is so important…be it cream, situations or matters of the heart.

I seem to be able master everything, expect the ‘matters of the heart’ part of my life, but i’ll get there. If i was put on this Earth to learn anything, over and over again…it would be about love.  I don’t exactly know why, i’ve always had the most difficult love life…? Yet, as least i’m tinkering along with a smile on my face, right? Lol.

I don’t stress about it, because regardless i’m happy, i’m lucky and as always….that part of my life, will sort itself out naturally.

I’ve just watched Jamie Foxx peel off his headphones and walk out of a ‘live’ interview because they asked him about Katie Holmes…It’s a subject that they both obviously wish to keep to themselves. They want it out of the public eye, because it’s something they have chosen to cherish privately.

I don’t get why people refuse to respect peoples *wish* for privacy, at times? If they wanted to tell us all about it, they would! There’s tons of other couples who don’t mind celebrating their love out in the open, out loud, for all to see. They don’t want to…and that’s fine!

Dating’s hard enough, without the world prying on in with their ‘2 cents here and 4 cents there.’ They come in all armed and excited for the gossip, thinking they know the WHOLE entire story, when they actually know nothing. Nothing’s worse than the ‘think they knows.’ 

It’s kinda put me off really showbizzy,tell all relationships. I’m not one to mind telling people about bits of my love life, or picturing the happy moments, that I’d care to share… I don’t mind that all.

Yet, I wouldn’t like ‘think they knows’ tumbling in, looking for cracks, or nonsense, to prise open. I’d hate to wake up in the morning, look on my newsfeed and see that I was ‘apparently breaking up’ with someone or that the person i loved had run off and had rampant sex with some chick, behind my back.

That doesn’t sound like fun to me. It sounds like absolute hell. It turns love into entertainment, which is fine, but for me, it takes me away from what love is really about. If i love someone truly, I love them madly and i’d hate to have it ripped to pieces to fill gossip pages. So good on Jamie Foxx, for shaking his head, peeling off his headphones and walking away from his ‘live’ interview, with total ‘stay out of my shit’ swag!

BOOM!

Work wise, i’m really excited because i’m about to film and shoot, the online advert for this blog, my blog, my diary,

CHRISSIEWUNNA.COM

It’s only a short online advert, but it’ll be so much fun to do. I’ll love every single second of it and that’s all that matters. I’ll enjoy it. It already feels so exciting and I love the whole creative aspect of it all. I can imagine it in my head and that alone keeps me happy. Lol

These last few days off have been wonderful. You’ve got to have balance. Even if you’ve chosen a job that you adore. I love what I do. Yet, for me.. being a workaholic doesn’t fit well. It’s 10 sizes too small. I was made for fun and pleasure and when you’re a ‘Lone Parent,’ Mum of two…You can’t just constantly prioritize work, because without balance, it’s not fair on them or in fact anyone you love.

On their death bed, no one wishes they worked more! And if they just so happened to, I feel bad that they never experienced the joy of love.

God! I went on a rant again. Maybe I should get back to working harder… 🙂

Ps/ I didn’t dream of Dwarves last night.

 

 

 

 

Dating as a 30 Something & Gin.


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Today began in a more stressy fashion when taxi companies lied to me with ‘just around the corners…it’ll be five minutes.’ An hour and a half later, with big hair, the new Estee Lauder bronzer on my kitty cheeks and a change of work coats, I took matters into my own diva hands, called another company and got to work in fifteen minutes. Still late, which I HATE. If i despise anything it’s being late for anything, or people being late for me. 🙂 Yet with understanding words and an ‘in taxi’ resting bitch face that could win awards…things panned out alright, as hey…it’s Christmas…the season of working hard, playing hard and not letting the niggly shit that you can’t help get to you.

THEN part of my life was spent knelt on the floor, with scissors and cardboard, in jumper boobs and work trousers…as I wrapped a Christmas tree in tin foil, as onlooking colleagues mocked my existence and talents. LOL. I almost had a meltdown, as it seems i don’t have the patience for such Tom Foolery. Tin foil is not your friend. It hates you. But I survived it. I just remember looking up at ‘Firmonnell’ and saying:

‘Is this part of my life over yet?’

And hey..It was! Yipppeeee! So again…not so bad. At least i looked good doing it.

Away from that and with a hair toss…

I’m getting LOADS of messages in regards to my love life. You all want to know what’s going on and if i knew myself, i’d tell you?

Dating at 30 something is hard, be you a guy or a girl, as you pretty much have your life and ways set. SO SET that you become more choosy when it comes to letting new folk in to ‘do forever,’ with ya. Plus, 30 somethings are now looking good, making money and if they’re not already settled down and single, they’re either not bothered as life is dandy anyhow, jaded, or fretting about having no lover. It kinda goes in waves, doesn’t it? I know that I’ll dip in and out of each box…in heels.

I’m really great on a date, as i’m chatty and fun, sexy and…(i can’t think of anything else?) Yet, i will say sometimes, i’ll feel nervous and when i do (like i’m a guy) I’ll delicately and glamourously push a ‘panic button’ and a GIANT pink, transparent force field will slowly and sexily raise around me, until i feel 90% comfy. It can take a bit of beckoning from the other party….even if it seems as though i’m being more than confident. (I remember when I bumped into a guy in LA and I told him that I was a total loon and 90% a mess. I’d just gotten divorced. He looked, smiled and said, ‘90% a mess? That’s 10% all good honey, I’m in!! ‘ 😊 )

But moving on, as it’s making me feel weird…

I’ve said it once and i’ll say it 42 times, I AM NOT ON TINDER or any such sites. If you believe you are sexy chatting with me, on any random or popular dating site…you really are not. It’s not me.  I’m sure the Tinder version of me is much naughtier via written word. I can’t type dirty, i find it too hilarious. It doesn’t feel real, it feels more funny. Like a prank. Doesn’t mean that i’m not ‘naughty’ when i’m meant to be ‘naughty,’ so to speak. *Wink here.* I’m sensual by nature.  But no, i’m not on Tinder or POF or any of that diddly dum. I find it the most awful way find ‘true love.’ To me it all seems like ‘hook ups’ and unserious talking to people for no reason, or boredom. It’s dull. It’s definitely for some people, but for me at thirty five, with all my shit together, a bit of glitz, a whole lot of glam and a ‘Wunna’ tag, I see it as the most unromantic way to potentially find love. *SWIPE*

I’m a chemistry kinda gal. I need to be in front of  you face to face, body to body, mind to mind…with cocktails (ofcourse) in order to feel something more than ‘bants.’ I HAVE to be able to feel something. (That sounded fun. 🙂 ) To be honest, I don’t have enough time to Tinker on Dating sites. The easier a guy makes it on me the better. I don’t like boys that are too challenging. I like to get my own way. 😃 Don’t get me wrong, LOADS of my friends have found love on plenty of dating sites.Yet for me it just doesn’t work. I can’t be bothered. It’s dull. I’d rather be single in the city until Mr.Right taps me on the shoulder and smiles.

Plus, I have this theory that boys who want to date you tend to hide behind an online bravado don’t they? They can talk the talk, yet often are unable to walk the walk. I mean surely a real man would connect with you somehow, call you/message  you and then just ask you out on a drink/date or meet up. It’s called being NORMAL and being a GENTLEMAN. If they can’t do that…then they’re too scared and obviously need to sup a can of ‘Man Up.’ Why have men stopped being brave?

God! I went on a rant then and i have no clue why? I need gin. It shuts me up and refreshes me like a ‘Ctrl+Alt+Del.’

‘Spanish Doctor’ Whatsapp’d me today. It was bizarre because i had forgotten about him. I had to even think if it was even this year or last year when i met him? AGES AGO! I shouldn’t have met him really, as he only wanted to try and bone me, however silly me didn’t realize at the time and when i didn’t ‘put out’ he got narky. But i just couldn’t find it in myself to be attracted to him enough to want to get sexy…and I’m not like that. His personality sucked and it concerned me. Lol.  I remember being sat away from him, with my arms crossed pulling moody faces because I didn’t feel comfortable around him in the end. I know, lol! Very mature of me.  BUT IF YOU HAVE EVER HAD THE ABSOLUTE PLEASURE OF GOING ON A DATE WITH ME 🙂 YOU WILL KNOW THAT SUCH BEHAVIOUR DOES NOT OCCUR. Hahaha!

I just ignored his message. He’s a strange one…Yet he served a purpose as it was a time where in which i had come out of a relationship with Ben, who wasn’t really fulfilling my soul and I needed to just feel again, as my heart was just soaked in absolute utter boredom. I felt like a baby sitter. I felt like the guy in that relationship,

It’s weird isn’t it, because you have to be with someone who’s exactly GREAT for YOU. I was having this convo with ‘London Business Man’ the other day, in regards to him picking a chick to date. It’s like they can’t be so ‘cherry pie,’ as being a being like i am….it really doesn’t stimulate you. Yet they can’t be an absolute crazy nut job, always depressed or down or an absolute dickhead either. There has to be a balance where in which they’re a bit of everything, your best friend, expressive, fun, loving, thoughtful, but you are so physically attracted to them that your sex life is decent and you’re not just dull *high five* buds.

I’ve rambled. I’m off to have gin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Keeping my options open…& Lee walks in…

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Smashed Day 1 of what i’m labeling my ’10 day stretch’ with the greatest of ease, a smile, a greeting of a new face, and pretty much like a champion. To say I tottered into the ‘stretch’ dreading it, I sort of didn’t find it too difficult really. I charmed my way through it with…I guess I turned on my ‘steady away’ mode…as they call it.

Everything simple, everything calm…the rain poured down outside…my LA friends spent the entire day messaging me pictures of sunny Beverly Hills, to entice me back over there. (I AM VERY JEALOUS. Give me my Beverly Hills life back immediately.)

But on the whole, I was happy. I’m still waiting for news. I hate waiting for news. I hate waiting for anything. But i’m patient, as I know it’s the smart thing to do. So, if anything, i’ve summoned my inner Buddha…and found my total enlightenment…in the bottom of a wine glass. 🙂 (I hate waiting. I’m a go getter. I need answers immediately and constantly wish I could control them.)

All was well. All was lovely. I tottered into the back, whilst the new face left me for better pastures…as I wonder out..there he is…LEE, my favourite Policeman. I haven’t seen Lee in ages, well definitely haven’t seen him since after the Spanish Doctor date. He’s just returned to work, after his weekend long STAG do. (All i heard was KFC Krushem signs, that they didn’t steal, yet were given. Hmm? Hooters. Drinking games, with Hooter girls on his back and Press ups in front of trams. 🙂 ) What goes on during a Stag do, stays on a Stag Do. When I get married again…and I will. I’m having a Stag do.

But yes. It was REALLY good to see Lee, as it’s weird because I only met him towards the end of last year, so I didn’t know him at all until then…(as he helps secure my place of work…and saves the world or something? Lol. He got a BLACK EYE on his eye, from BANGING HIS OWN FACE, ON A TOILET SEAT! 🙂 He’ll save the world tomorrow.) However since then we’ve become really good friends…sort of like random best buds, but we have this brotherly, sister rapport, that not only comforts me, but cracks me up!

If I actually think about it, of recent, he’s actually the only person that I have told EVERYTHING to, Lol…over the last couple months…and I mean absolutely everything, no sensors or anything. . I’m open by nature anyway, so most people will get a lot out of me. I’m never really embarrassed. i just class the stuff that happens to me, as ‘life.’ Plus, I obviously write a very personal blog, about the ‘goings on’ in my life..Yet he gets the non edited version of it…as do most who know me. Yet Lee gets the full rendition, simply because he can see my face when I tell him the story…I see him almost every day…When I deliver a story, he in real life sees how I might actually feel, as opposed to how I tell you I may feel. I don’t refrain from delivering my true feelings to you, as by nature i’m blunt and truthful. I just skip things…because I can. And that’s only because every being needs to keep some things private.

So we’re like best buds, who have turned into Brother and sister. He’s like the over protective, yet cool big brother, who scowls when I date boys who are not right for me..and give me lectures like, ‘What happened to being celibate and not being bothered about dating?’

I mean, heaven forbid if he and his wife to be, have a little girl (i’ve sworn she’sll come back from their honey moon pregnant)…she’ll never date for him terrifying the boy, with his disapproving Fatherly eyes and head shakes.

Anyway, in walks Lee, and he’s asking me about life and my date. I’m asking him about his Stag. And I’m telling him everything about whats going on with boys, and how i’m feeling. He’s really good at looking out for me. Keeping me grounded…kinda like Jenna would. He genuinely cares. He does thoughtful things for people. I mean before i went into hospital, he was a star….and i adore good people. It makes me smile. But yeah, I’m rambling on about love…he’s thinks i should be single forever and that I currently don’t have any options. Let alone decent options. Lol. And he’s..well probably right. I’m don’t have the best track record. I just want to be cared for correctly and treated correctly, by a genuine soul, who is filled with love, kindness, confidence and decency. Someone exciting and brave when it comes to emotions and love. It’s really important to me when it comes to picking a gent.

I was telling him about the Spanish Doctor date and well I think after ‘chatter’ and tea, we sort of came to the conclusion that it was quite bizarre that after one date…the guy would adore me so much that he would want me forever. And that part is strange…as he’s also quite handsy, and passionate…which makes him pretty full on. Not too bad in my mind. Worth a second date…as the Doctor’s all spiritual and just knows, right? (Lee would do his disapproving *head shake* here.) The Doctor’s actually become a bit withdrawn as of today, and I have a little…as we haven’t sent each other a message all day. That’s normal. That’s fine. But my mind is in a different place, right now..and Lee could tell, as he says the way I tell the story to him, is very different, from what he’s read on this blog.  And it’s only because I felt different today. He’s very  busy. I’m busy. He’s not a bad guy at all. And i will go on a second date..as I I want to get to know him more…as you don’t really know someone that well after one date, right.

However, let’s just say, for a girl that has a one track mind with boys…the Doctor is sort of now ‘an option.’ I’m being open minded about the whole dating thing now…and seeing what occurs naturally in life with the guys that decide or intend to pursue me. He’s still a good option.  I did say that to my favourite policeman…I mean , I just want to know him properly before i get I let a *swirl* carry me away (I hate it when Lee makes me sensible.)

The Spaniard thinks he’s intimidated me with his forwardness and feels all ‘oh nooo’ and more shy now…and he hasn’t. I like forward men. I love expressive men. (He is a bit too handsy. Lol. But it’s only because he’s genuinely so excited by me…so i’m flattered.) I mean, God, it’s better than a ‘dick pic’ from some 19 year old dude that saw me once in ‘Biggies.’

I mean, I also told Lee about something else…and well…he just told me not to be soft and to put things into actual perspective…as I am totally ‘soft’ when it comes to love, by nature. Unless, I think they’re taking the piss! I’m literally the most forgiving human…if i believe you’re genuine. Yet if i don’t and the person doesn’t attempt to prove it..(I’m a girly girl, I love it when men go out of their way to make an effort. I’ll remember it forever…Yet I’ll also remember the bad..lol)

So yeah, I’m keeping my options open..as…

‘You just don’t know what’s gonna happen, or who’s going to just walk into your life… I mean, look at us, we didn’t even know each other last year!’ (A Lee quote.)

And that’s true…the boys that want you and really want you, will do everything they can to make sure you know how much they care for you, want you, or love you. They’ll show you, prove it to you and come get you….

The ones that don’t…just aren’t bothered…and that’s the reality of it all.

Other than that, i got yelled at and threatened by a group of gypsies today, to the point where I had to The Hierarchy to toss them away from my surrounding area…and I gave out ‘really bad,’ but i think it’s really good love life advice to teens. I love that teens come to me, with all their love life problems. They go to other people for important things like Uni choices…and work options..then come to me, for advice of lipstick and boys. 🙂 I love it because it makes me feel as though i’m inspiring…

FYI/ SOOooo disappointed that the Celeb Threesome Sex Scandal, that was banned from the UK tabloids, was only Elton John. Blah! I wanted it to be The Beckhams! Lol