Kitty Cafe, Singles & Humming Birds

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Woke up at 7 o clock this morning and Googled ‘Humming Birds,’ for no other reason than the fact that I thought they were pretty. Lol. That’s the depth of my 7am mind. I had a psychic read for me last night, then did my Breethe meditation app, so I could sleep peacefully, without random, yet jolly nightmares…

After my morning ‘Humming bird’ Google search, I then Googled Love Islanders, to see how much ‘dollar’ they were all making since leaving the villa. They’re smashing aren’t they! It makes me happy to see all folk doing well…and at the same time JEALOUS. Yet, everyone gets their time, so hopefully I’ll get mine soon. Lol (Or, I’ll just shrivel away happily and drink rum in an old people’s home..with a cat that I’ll probably name ‘Gucci.’)

I got a question the other day on my Insta, saying…

‘If you fancy a guy and blog about it, surely he would know who it is?’

Well, yeah. Obviously. I’m not shy. If I fancy someone, I don’t fear that they may know? Lol. I’m 37, not 17. So, if they were to read my blog, even though their name would be disguised as an alias, they’d obviously know if it was them, as they would’ve shared that moment, memory or story with me, at some point.

Everyone who’s an alias on this blog, KNOWS who they are. They will have lived the tale, with me…in Wunna Land. So, in a way, not only will they get to relive the memory…via this blog, yet that particular moment goes down in Cyberland history.

It’s Magical. Like Paul Daniels.

Sophie AF: ‘Your blog’s, like one of those things that will come alive and go down in history, when you die…because you will have documented your whole existence…’

Me: ‘Cheers… I’m ready to shuffle off yet, bitch.’

The ‘Singles Night’ at The Kitty Cafe, Leeds, in now booking up fast. I actually can’t wait, because I haven’t  been to a ‘Singles Night’ in ages. I’m really excited.

(The last time I did a ‘Singles Night’ was in Sheffield, years ago… on a PA, after coming off the Hilton show…I was so drunk and it was in a club…and I remember being stood on some stage, as people cheered and slutty looking dancers held me up, after dancing on podiums in pink fur. It took me an entire day to recover and no..I didn’t find true love. Hahah. Instead I died in bed at Ollie & Becky Hayes’ home…who were (at the time) radio presenters for Hallam FM. Becky was SO good at looking after me…She ran be a bath, brought me fruit and everything.)

Do know that my favourite hangover cures are either BLOODY MARY, or a SLUSH.

But back to Kitty Cafe…

Even if I don’t meet the man of my dreams that night, I can still stroke kittens…which will calm me. (Shit, I really hot guy has just sauntered into the bar at sat on the table opposite me. I’m doing the ‘pretend I haven’t seen him’ face, because my pulling technique is obviously champion.)

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaa

Anyway…The Kitty Cafe, sound great because it seems so city trendy, which is exactly my forte…

So, if you haven’t booked in yet, email them pronto (info@kittycafe.co.uk) and save your spot. Bookings have apparently been mental. I can’t wait to meet everyone. Sept 21st.

Promo done!! 😉 

Lucy McLockett: ‘That place is a danger zone for you Wuns. I just read in the paper, that they’re applying for a marriage license there…Don’t be in a place with single men, where the can actually MARRY YOU.’

Me: ‘Fourth time lucky! Always a bride, never a bridesmaid. At least they’ll be kittens, right? Lol’

What else?

Things are really fun and I’m having a great time with the kids. They’re literally my world…and I’m loving every inch of them. Work is a plenty. I’m still influencing many a hotel, restaurant and bar, like my glamourous little life depends on it. (And it does. Haha.)

Book me. Hire Me. Me! Me! Me!

When it comes to love, I’m still single, but concentrating on work. Everything feels so right, at present, that I don’t really need to change it. I still fancy ‘The Swirl,’ but he’s a million miles away, doing his own thing, probably not thinking about me at all. Yet, I want him to have moments where he *pauses* and thinks..

‘What the fuck happened to Wunna? I miss her.’

(If not…Lol…shit happens.)

However, the great thing is, I have a whole lot of time to just conquer a bit of Wunna Land and smash it about. I’m quite a determined little chica. I’m ambitious aren’t I. So, I don’t want to wiggle off this Earth ball one day and not have achieved all that I wanted to.

It means a lot to me…

I’m not a plodder. I’m not someone who doesn’t get juiced off achieving goals, inspiring, smashing dreams and winning! I know how to have a good time and laugh shit off. But I’m there in the moment..I’m alive……I’ve always got my eye on the prize…(even when i’m in my ‘what are those’ leopard print flip flops.) 

Don’t hate!

Take note…

When it comes to men, I don’t like the day in and day out… ‘plodders.‘ I like those that have dreams, or those who have fought hard to live their dream. I find them inspirational and that to me, (along with a whole bunch of other stuff,) is sexy.

Right, I’m done now…This blog has gone on far too long! I’ve rambled.

You can make anything happen. Believe it. Attract it. Make everything you love YOURS!

Chrissie… x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Doing Life, Ambition & Stress

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Hope you  ALL had the most beautiful day with your Fathers, or celebrated ‘fatherhood’ in any way you felt necessary, be they still here with you, away with life ‘dandies,’ or even if you’re a father yourself. I hope it all went well. If it didn’t, never mind, eh! As long as you’re positive or honest, about your situation, you’re always gonna be okay. 😉 That can take time. But once you’ve got it, you’re sailing!

Yippppeeee!

I had a big old ‘lunch off’ and family day with my delicious Pops. The Wunna’s are a really close family and well, i’d say that i’m the ‘apple’ of my little Daddy’s eye.

(He once visited me in LA, many years ago and told my lawyer/party boy roommate to look after me, because if anything happened to his ‘Pride & Joy’ he would hold him directly responsible. Lol Yet, on the softer side, when I returned home ,after a huge Hollywood spell of ‘almost decade,’ he burst into tears because he was so happy I was safe and well.)

Y’know, my Dad, has never ever shouted or raised his voice at me once. He’s either talked me through things, so laid back that he’s horizontal,  or just pretended that the bad things have never happened….I can’t decide which one? My Mum, on the other hand, makes up for his lack of ‘shouty.’

I really ‘lucked out’ in the ‘Parent Department.’ I know that. And every single minute of every day, even when we wind each other up, i’m truly grateful for them. I dread to think of a life without them! They’re my little ‘ninja’ parents..My absolute rocks. It’s the same with Ruby & Junior. ( If you follow this, you’ll know I’m a single mum. But I LOVE being a single mum. It makes me feel powerful and I like to feel MIGHTY. Both babies spent the day with their Daddy’s. Junior was somewhat reluctant to shimmie over to his. Ruby, however adored it.)

I missed them both…MADLY. (The babies, not the daddies. Haha.)

Just so you know, I’ve bloody worn tiny shorts and no sleeves today, with ‘sunnies,’ because my phone told me that it was going to be a SCORCHIO. I’m sat on a bench, in a park, with a pink laptop on my knee, pretending to be nice to dogs that look like sausages, in the freezing, windy cold! I can’t even style it out. I look like a rebellious and somewhat constipated Geisha, that’s been dipped in Hawaiian Tropic and got caught up in a casual Hurricane.

Honestly, what is wrong with me? Why can I never get it right! I hope for sun soon. I’m far too exotic and scowly today, for even an occasional GUST of wind. It’s so windy, I could DIE of shivers.

Okay,  i’ll cut crap…

So, yesterday, you’d think.. with all my free time, I’d spend the day attempting to write that book. I keep rambling on about. The one that I only have 2 months in total, to complete. I didn’t do it, did I? I know it’s there and has to be done. Yet I keep pretending it’s not ‘PENDING’ away…If i’m honest, I have NO CLUE WHAT I’M DOING. I even have a Tutor and been threatened with a ‘Writers Colony.’ J It’s not like I don’t write, or haven’t written a book before?? I just can’t find my *swing.* I can’t find my *swagger.* Maybe I left it at Issho, after table sake?

But ah well…Even bit of me is confident that I’ll find it. HONEST.

Instead, I took selfies, (agent’s nightmare.) Went on walks. Almost bought ceramic unicorns. Stared at a pond. Shunned the advances of boys. Added to my Insta story. Dropped my  phone on my face, mid selfie, (it caused me to bust my lip a little.) I scrolled Twitter for ‘Love Island’ updates. I swung garden chimes, with my Mum, simply because we were bored. I baked a cake (did I **** bake a cake…haha.) Rode a donkey (that might have happened) and THEN BALANCED half a can of Fosters ON MY LITTLE BURMESE HEAD!!

I KNOW!  Skillz! How am I single!!

This was totally inspired by my good friend ‘Hustle Barbie’ who decided to send me a *Snap* of her balancing a PINEAPPLE on her head. (Cos’ we’re normal like that. I mean, for such so called ‘pretty girls,’ you’d think we’d have better things to do, like ignore DM’s from shirtless boys. 😉 ) But no. During HER free ‘still single’ time, she dedicated it to Tom Foolery.

However, being the competitive swine that I am, I didn’t watch and adore, with simple giggles. I decided that I could do it too.

ANYTHING YOU CAN DO, I CAN DO IT…..TIPSY.

I flipping, did it though! 13 minutes later, my ‘socials’ were filled with videos of me balancing a Foster’s Can, on my head, like a champion. (I did send ‘Hustle’ a personal video. I don’t respond to my real life friends via public story. Honest! lol..Well, unless, it’s by accident, a bit rude and maybe involves a Toberlone.) I had a Toberlone ice cream yesterday and it ruined my life, because my head was dazed with Katy P’s, MADE UP ‘Duty Free Toberlone’ story, that involved my vagina.

Every bite made me gip. You can still enjoy one though because your mind is CLOUDED with filth.

Hustle: ‘We’re like the perfect girls. We have boobs AND we’re good at balancing things..’

Me: ‘Well..sort of..’

Later through the evening, ‘Firmonnell’ sent me a video of ‘Hustle,’ on her sofa.. attempting to balance a FULL wine glass of GIN, equipped with floating berries… ON HER HEAD. The video was SO worrying, that I was tense with anxiety and screaming…

DON’T YOU DARE SPILL THE GIN….

..at my phone. (She always has to take it one step too far. I don’t think I can be her friend anymore? ‘Almost’ spilling gin, is as foolish as the art of ‘always telling the truth.’ It breaks the Wunna Land code of conduct. It’s not cool and it’s certainly not ‘gangsta.’ ‘Ere me now.)

However, life is there to be played with. It’s such a wonderful thing, even the bad times. They say the bad times, make you tougher. They keep you in good stead for whatever lies ahead. You never know what’s gonna happen to you? However, be it good or bad, if you ‘skill’ yourself up emotionally, you’ll be able to handle your next step, your next chapter, with the vigor of RuPaul.

Even if it’s utterly harsh, the quicker you feel it, get back up and then proceed to be play, with the tough times… the better. As soon as you enjoy life, understand life and don’t let it suck the *b’jeebies* out of you…The sooner you’ll find your ‘happy.’ Your strength.

‘Hustle’ actually posted a quotey paragraph yesterday. (Y’know how people do. I posted ‘Lovers Gonna Love’ on Saturday. My gay friend posted ‘Soup of the Day is Tequila.’ Blah. Blah. Jollies.)

Well Hustle, posted a paragraph. It stated that our own development as a human, is what made us happy. How we progress as a human. How we actually learn life. That’s what makes us proud of ourselves, in the end. It also suggested that we not place our happiness in the hands of others. People do it all the time…don’t they? I have, at times. Y’know, whether they’re waiting for a proposal, a job acceptance letter, trying to impress the masses, worrying about being judged, or pining for simple praise, or attention from a boyfriend, girlfriend or parent…Anything!

When you do that…you no longer have control of your happiness. You pass it on, like a parcel, yet the music never stops.

Now, I always ‘twicker’ on about how POWERFUL I feel. And like I said earlier, I’m someone who loves to feel powerful. Yet, that power, doesn’t come from anything material. ( I do love the finer things in life, yet I don’t LIVE FOR THEM. I’m actually a girl who loves the simple things, just as much. I couldn’t be more in touch with the real world.) I mean,  I could also make tons and tons and tons of money. (It wouldn’t make me feel powerful at all. No matter what, I’ll always get by. I work really hard.)  I could be so in love. (I’m single…and still, I couldn’t be happier.) Or so so successful,l that I couldn’t even nearly shake fame off me. (What i’ve learnt from life is that recognition for your talent and hard work, feels great. That isn’t ‘FAME.’ That’s personal accomplishment. The ‘fame game’ brings you more problems than it’s worth, at times… unless you play it well, use it wisely and benefit from it financially. Even then, you’ll still go through shit.)

I feel powerful because at 37, I feel like a successful human. I wasn’t always a successful human. Yet, that’s the point. I grew…and Karma IS a bitch. But Boy, have I DEVELOPED. I’m really happy with who I am now. I feel comfy, in my own skin. What I like what I am and what I stand for! I chose my own ‘happy.’ No one can take that away from me and because of that FEELING, I can walk into a room and RADIATE, almost GLOW of an energy, that swirls through the souls of others, like magic.

I understand people. (I’ve been people.) I understand life. (I’ve experienced so many different walks of it.)  I really LOVE being me and truly LOVE every piece of my world, because I picked it myself. I’m an alright person. I can see loneliness in others, even when they have that ‘100 watt’ smile on. (I’ve been there. We all have.) I can see kindness in people, when the masses have ruled them out as a ‘villan.’

I understand that… no matter what….I’m still just this tiny little dot….on a GIANT EARTH BALL of gazillions, doing this ‘shimmie’ called life. I always see the bigger picture and when you TRULY do, you quit letting the ‘niggles’ stress you out.

So if I could leave you with two lil’ tings of what I know about life right now, it would be to make the most of your time, WITHOUT WORRY…BEFORE you have no time left. We can worry about anything, everything, can’t we? It literally makes NOTHING better, at all. It creates stress. Both my folks are Doctors and even THEY say, you can break every bone in your body and nothing hurts more than a broken heart, a broken soul, or being lost in a fuzzy gather of stress.

And if you DO anything today…..Be the reason somebody smiles…

The smallest things, make people BEAM.

( I tried to teach Ruby that yesterday…But she kept ignoring me and telling me she was going to be a psychic.)

ps/ I live for ‘Love Island’ this year and i’m so excited by the ‘fresh girl meat’ and thrilled with my personal winner Adam Collard!

ALL THE FIRE! Let’s play love!

 

 

Boobs, Wedding Season & Single Life…

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Morning! I’ve had to have a couple days off because everything has gone manic. If there’s an insane work schedule, there’s peace for a moment, then an explosion of ‘home life’ drama. I’ve been up. I’ve been down. I’ve been at auditions, one minute. At drinks with friends, another minute. In meetings Out of meetings. Even at A&E.

Yippeee! Hospitals Rock!

This year, i’m being great to my family and shit  to my friends. But because i’ve been putting work first. Yet, people always will catch me. I mean, i’ve seen KatyP all lot, for drinks. I lunched with ‘Double B’ and ‘Firmonnell’ on Monday. Yet, in those moments, when people do *catch me* everything looks really calm and serene…

BUT OH MY GOD…

As soon as I swing back out of the door, IT GOES BACK TO NUTS…and it’s something that people don’t understand, unless you do my job. I separate and categorize things, so when i’m at work, I work. When I’m with friends…I chill. When I’m in love…I do love.

(I’m currently extremely SINGLE by the way…and if i’m honest, i kinda LOVE IT. I’m ignoring my DM’s. I’m not talking to any guys. I’m waiting for Mr.Right. Not Mr. Almost Right. I’ve wasted too much time on ‘almost.’ It’s not good enough..and now I don’t even care. I’m the happiest, singleton in all the land. I know what i’m worth and I feel like i’m doing really well, right now. I’m in a really great career position, with a hopeful glitzy future. I’m doing what I love. I feel powerful. I’m beaming. It’s gonna take SOME man to cowboy stagger into Wunna Land and try and win my *cold stoney* lol… loving…kitten heart…over. Unless, you’re Adam from ‘Love Island’…You can stagger into Wunna Land at anytime you want mate… 😉 )

Wahey! No pants for anyone!

Right! So on Saturday, i went to my friend Vicki’s wedding.

It’s wedding season folks.

Now, I usually hate going to weddings. I love the reception, the drinks and the party. But I usually hate the ceremony part. I don’t know why, I do? Maybe because it triggers evil memories in my ‘married three times’ soul. 😉

However, this time, something changed…and I didn’t hate it. I couldn’t wait to go. I couldn’t wait to see her. She’s a great soul. A beautiful girl and she’s literally someone who goes out of her way to make people happy, if she loves and respects you. I like that. She’s someone I trust. Someone I find utterly honourably. (And she’s hot.)

I arrived at Rogerthorpe Manor at 10am. Went up to her suite, (Suite 14) to find the cutest bride maids tottering around, still in their comfies….bedding in their shoes…There was a hair stylist, a makeup artist, flowers, dresses, silver trays of Bucks Fizz and a calm, merry wedding day swirl, meandered around the room..

Me: ‘How are you so calm. Why are you not being nuts? I’d be crying into a gin my now.’

She was a dominant bride. (She knows what she wants and YOU WILL do it.) But she’s weirdly at the same time…really laid back. She’s happy.

Anyway, I got a ride to Selby Abbey..where her wedding would take place (under a strict ‘no selfie taking or drinking beforehand’ rule) and her cousin Toby, with his HOT BLOND of a girlfriend Laura…had to have ME, as their ‘tag along ALL FUCKING DAY. Lol.

I mean, imagine having ME as your third wheel. I usually ruin lives. 🙂 What could me more of a nightmare. Luckily, all three of us, even though their East Londoners, are built from the same boozy, flashy, fun dripped glitter bricks. I got them. They go me. ALL three of us got on straight away. (I mean there was a point where we’d made Laura ‘smash’ her fishbowl drink down, whilst chanting at her..So we could hurry up and slip into Toby’s  BMW, to drive away from Selby Abbey, to our new destination, with DIZZLE RASCAL…a playing. 🙂 )

This is what we were playing…So you can feel our mood too…

Toby: ‘I’m an actual certified BMW driver.’

Me: ‘Ace! Cos you’re in the oncoming traffic lane.’

Toby: ‘Oh shit!! Haha.’

Laura: ‘Everyone’ll think you’re mad!’

Toby’s an East London, cheeky chappy. A car salesman. He’s fun. He’s naughty. But he loves and looks after his girl. Laura’s blond and beautiful. She’s a total weapon. She tells it how it is. She can drink like a pirate, and look like Miss.World at the same time…and with all our powers combined…to say we had only just met…we HAD LITERALLY the best time in EVER!!

Spanks, Boobs n’all….

The wedding was regal and magical, because firstly….Vicki is someone who really deserves this…and by ‘this,’ I mean ‘her own version of happiness.’ Not because she needed or wanted it so badly. But because, she served life well and ‘in return’ life cut her some slack. I watched both Guy and Vicki say their ‘I do’s and I was so honoured to be there. AND I got to sit next to my old school friend Rich Ritucci and his wife Pamela. (We weren’t good at singing hymns…and mainly because it wasn’t Britney? And we might have talked about ‘Love Island’ a bit, before it started. And I might have also selfied.)

RULE BREAKER.

I mean, there I was…sat  in the most stunning Abbey, in the most inappropriate dress. ( I was in a flowy, lilac, all my boobs out, in an a place of worship‘ kinda dress. I didn’t burst into flames though? So God must have liked them. 😉  MY BOOOOOOBS WERE OUT!

Laura: ‘You broke all the rules. Haha. As if you wore that to a wedding…Lol’

Me: ‘Fuck it. I’ve done it now, haven’t I. Haha.’

Once you’ve done something. You HAVE TO commit to it, without explanation or justification. That’s what a glamour puss does.

(Laura was in spanks. I went to the loo with her, after having a ‘who can down their prosecco faster’ competition, with one of the other guest, on a pretty lawn, by a stone lion….so she could appropriately adjust them. Spanks are the bomb. They’re your new sexy best friends. Well..yours. Mine’s Paris Hilton. Hahah.) 

CONFETTI. (I forgot to being confetti.) MERRIMENT. (I did ‘merry.’) MAGIC. SELFIE TAKING. SUNSHINE & LAUGHTER, OCCURRED.

Then just like that after a quick drink…we got back to the hotel to do a BIG DRINK. 🙂 I like it when weddings get to the drinking part. The celebrations. We stood on the lawns of Rogerthorpe Manor, on the sunniest day, by gazebos, stone lions, with a first class service, the most fantastic violinist playing and everyone dressed to the nines, as fresh prosecco was poured for the ladies and the guys could grab a beer.

It was all hats and bliss…as picture taking took place.

Now, i’ve always said that i’ve never really been to a wedding where I haven’t been the Bride and let me tell you..

IT IS BLISS. I might never be a BRIDE AGAIN!!!

(Jasmine: ‘I cannot ever imagine you with a husband. I don’t even know how you’ve managed to fit three in already. Wunna belongs to no man.’)

Being a GUEST is ace because you have no responsibilities. No fuss. No stress whatsoever. You just show up, look pretty, be fun, drink, eat and dance.

I CAN DO THAT!!!

And I never have to totter out the joint, thinking, how the hell am I going to do another 80 years with this dude! 🙂

But you do need company, so I was grateful that I had Toby & Laura, because I shimmied up to the wedding on my own and they couldn’t have looked after me better!

Just so you know, I’m not one to ‘bring a Plus 1,’ either. I find it more awkward, then helpful. But if you know me personally, I have a great group of friends, but I really love doing things ON MY OWN, at times. I’m creepy like that.

I think it’s because i’m firstly around people all the time, so I find my own peace and secondly because i’m quite a confident chica. 😉 I love my own company. I’m REALLY independent. I’m the best person I know.

Hahaha.

I’m not afraid of anything…

Then out of nowhere, whilst i’m sipping my Prosecco…after the ‘downing’ competition that I told you about earlier, by stone lions to violins….Neil (Guy The Groom’s mate, saunters up to me…Everyone kept sauntering up to me because my boobs were like a ‘Top Shelf‘ display..it was almost like I forgot to wear a top… Anyway…Neil…)

Neil: ‘I’ve got a bone to pick with you..’

Me: ‘No you don’t? Haha. Which bone?’

(The last time I saw Neil, we were in a hot tub with Guy and Vicki…And Guy was trying to make me date Neil.) 

Neil: So you know this blog that you write…’

Me: ‘Yeees.’

Neil: ‘Well someone sent me the link to it, so I could read about the last time we met…and you said that I FRIEND ZONED YOU.’

Me: ‘No I didn’t.’

Neil: ‘You did. I read it. And I never did FRIEND ZONED YOU.’

Me: ‘Whatever.  I would’ve never put that, because well ..that didn’t happen……I don’t just make up stuff…Haha.. You’ve got it wrong..’

Then we had to filter onto the lawn for pictures. whilst guzzling wedding prosecco and getting ready for the reception dinner, after adjusting Laura’s spanks…

And it was at that point….on the sunniest day in Yorkshire…that magic swirled…

To be continued…

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Just a Quickie, Weddings & Love Island

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Morning all! Right! I’m up early and getting ready. I’m off to my friend Vicki’s wedding today and I’m really excited to see a lady who deserves the world, finally be blessed with unconditional love, sprinkled with ‘I do’s.’ The ceremony’s at Selby Abbey.

Hopefully, i won’t walk in the joint and immediately burst into flames, or get swallowed up my the ground and shot straight to hell. But if I do…at least my dress made my boobs look good. (I have to wear an inappropriately ‘boobied’ dress because the one I wanted to wear I accidentally destroyed with hair dye. Yet, on the plus, it’s not THAT inappropriate. yeah it’s ‘boobied,’ but it’s not like i’m rocking up in a wedding dress myself. See! There are worse sins.) 

I’m meeting everyone at 10am sharp, at Rogerthorpe Manor. So I really need to be getting *glam squadded,* instead of writing this blog. The reception etc, is actually at Rogerthorpe this afternoon.

But GOD!

How good, was Love Island last night. I’m hooked. I told ya. But JEEPERS. I don’t think i’ve ever got bollocked by celebs and viewers MORE, for having an ‘Adam Collard’ crush. Strangers, Celeby DJ’s, Reality Stars and Athletes for Great Britain lol, were all tweeting me scorning me for being so foolish…. Lol

GB Alex: ‘Cos he’s a prick.’

Benny: ‘Adam is the guy that texts girls at 3am, saying *YOU UP BABE.*

Hahahah. (Remind me not to talk to those boys.) 

But, me being the delightfully stubborn bit of kitten, that is swirled in Summer crushing…doesn’t care. To me…He’s amazing.He’s slick. He’s smart. He’s hot. Plus, I love ‘snakes’ 😉 (that’s what everyone’s calling him) and he loves cougars…(that’s me,) so it’s basically a match made in Heaven. I don’t at all get, why everyone hates him, right now?? He’s absolutely THE BEST Islander.

YOU HEARD IT HERE. Lol. I’ll date ya boy!

Even ITV2 followed me at one point, because I crushed so badly. Hahah. I’m so sad, it’s delicious. He’s literally the only one doing anything worth watching. So balls to ya all.

TEAM ADAM ALL THE WAY.

The good thing is that more dudes will be strutting in and giving him a run for his money. It’s literally the Adam show and he’s done really well to OWN IT.

Y’know, the reason why I adore Love Island, is that is actually brings people together, the NATION together as one big juicy whole….and anything that does that, is wonderful, wonderful thing. It makes people communicate, feel…and because LOVE is the number ONE thing that matters to everyone in the enter world.

Right, this can only be short, because I really do need to sort myself our and get myself ready and Junior’s running around in nothing but pants hurtling tea sets through walls and shit.

I’m really looking forward to relaxing and letting my hair down a bit today. I hope she doesn’t mind that my dress is all ‘tits out.’

Love you,

Godda run,

Chrissie x

I’ll Tells You What I Fancy In GUYS…..

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Hope you’re having the most beautiful Thursday! Going well for you? I truly hope so. You all deserve a bit of love, luck and happiness. And thank you so much for finding you way to Wunna Land. It’s utterly much appreciated.

I’m quite dandy today and I don’t really know why? But i’m kinda brimming over with the ‘joy joys’ and I love it when that happens, because it’s such a great feeling. It fills my sorry ass soul with light.

You won’t know this, but every morning in Wunna land, Ruby, Junior  (my babies) and I are woken up by a hand picked song, that plays and fills each room in the house. I believe it puts us all in a good mood. I’m a huge music lover. And even if you’re hungover, it’s ace, because it makes you think the party is still going on.

Today’s choice was by my five year old, Baby Junior and it was this…So i’m gonna put it on for you, so you can feel today’s vibe…

*Hit Play Now.*

Then KatyP sends me a whatsapp message stating that we should pack up boxes of super strength dildos, make sure the boxes are labelled ‘SUPER STRENGTH DILDOS‘ and drop them outside each of our friends doorsteps.

KatyP: ‘Claire would expect it to be full. Lol.’

Me: ‘It’s fine, we can just chuck in a couple of kitchen knives and say it’s bondage or summat.’

KatyP: ‘We’ll put a soap on a rope in there too..’

Me: ‘And a teddy to cuddle, for after the ordeal.’

Then she gave me a list of Adult Cereals that went along the lines of ‘Fifty Shades of Grain/Special D/Porn Flakes/Rice Friskies’ that I could consider munching, as  I’m actually a breakfast skipper. (I just do coffee and selfie taking and yeah lol…it’s really bad for your system. You should always have breakfast.) My favourite was ‘Cheery Hoes.‘ So if I do ever consider eating before 9am…

They’d be my first choice of delight.

Away from that, I loved Love Island last night. I still fancy Adam. I don’t know why some people don’t. He’s far too attractive to not adore and his personality, to me… is on point. Like I don’t care if he’s sweet, but egotistical, kind, but cocky…In general, I love that in a guy. I love a guy with ‘gusto.’

Y’know, when they know what they want and how to get it. It not only means they’ve used their brain, yet also learnt along the way of life…and studied girls with a sly carefulness. I don’t mind a guy who fancies himself as a bit of charmer, but only when it’s executed well.  I like ‘smooth’ not cheeky. Cheeky is young. ‘Smooth’ is grow ass man. I like a soft gentleman, mixed in with a delicious roaring swag. I go for sexy. I love sexy.

It’s hot.

I still fill as though the Doctor is gonna get pied off by Rosie, ‘The Solictor’ though. I mean, she used date Jordan Weekender…which means she’s gonna swoop on in for MY ADAM. Haha. Hurrah!! Poor Alex.

I had ace chats about this with my chickadee Zara (who works at Creator Hair in Sheffield) late last night. I think we decided we loved each other and then decided that all men were twats.

Why are they though? We’re proper catches!

Then we talked about cougars and how every young guy goes through his ‘cougar phase.‘ I’m not agest by any means. I can’t afford to be emotionally. Lol.

However, I’ve always ended up with a toyboy. I don’t know whether that’s because i’m the oldest girl in the world, living a young life or because I’ve never found an older man, (apart from ONE..who is my mate ‘Trigg’ who i find extremely attractive. I mean, for 42, he’s a looker. You should stalk his Insta: Simon T Trigg. It’s a grow up girls treat.)

Me: ‘I don’t think a 20 something guy would ever really  seriously consider being with a 30 something yr old girl…long term..’

Zara: ‘You’d be surprised…’

Me: ‘I just don’t think, they’d look to settle down with someone quite a bit older, in the end…It’s just a phase for them. Yeah, we’re by far better women, all grown up, no drama and better in bed…

Zara: ‘When you’re in Sheffield at the end of the month. I know you’ll already have somewhere to stay, but feel free to stay at mine. Oh shit. Wait. And that’s not because you’ve just said you’re good in bed. Hahahahahahaha. 

I love Zara. She’s ace. When she first met me, (at the Weaves & Waves event in Leeds, she came with Sam etc) she didn’t like me and was certainly unsure, then hours in… she thought I was okay and finally, at the very end of the night, she decided she did. I literally love her.  I find her funny, she makes my evil soul fill with laughter. She’s a good find. Aw! Yeah and I saw that Sam BURNT HIS HEAD with straighteners today on his Insta story…

‘Mr. Assured Chrissie Wunna, that HE NEVER BURNS ANYTHING, whilst doing hair.’  

All he did was emoji piss himself at me…then got on with life.

(Ooh, i’ve just got a message in from ‘Firmonnell.’ She’s one of my chick besties,  but she’s in France..camping. Once sec, let me see what she’s got to say, because I miss her…)

It was a snapchat of her face with flower filter ears, Lol…with text reading..

‘Thought you might miss my face…’

Why can’t guys be as thoughtful as girls? Why are we girls all so attentive with one another, yet when we date, the guy’s we’ve chosen (aside from KatyP, who has the most romantic ‘Golfer Jonny’…even though she’s *six day* sore..) are FAR LESS so…? Why are relationships always hard work? They shouldn’t be. But maybe it’s me. That’s why I’M single…always. Lol.

I do love, love and i’m a hopeless romantic. But honestly, where is he? I know we’re not meant to have a perfect man in our heads. But I’m quite happy being single until that man rocks up..I don’t think i’m a bad woman. I think i’m a great woman. And my imaginary perfect man, isn’t made up of a list like most girls, it is all based upon how he would make me FEEL. That’s all I care about. Alongside handsome, sexy and stable.

I love eye candy. It’s always been a part of me that’s been really shallow.

I will always want to be with a really attractive man, provided his personality matches up to his looks. So technically, I’m balanced. 😉

Someone’s just sent me a link to read. I click on it, and all it does is unfold me really really slloooowly, then it states as a headline, ‘Paris Hiltons British Best Friend, slips a nips during photoshoot.’ 

Thrilling news…

Love you,

Chrissie x

Image may contain: Chrissie Wunna, outdoor

 

 

Let’s Get a Bit Inspirational….& Pervy :)

Image may contain: Chrissie Wunna, outdoor

I’ve just got out of an audition, so I’m all pumped and juiced. I love auditioning. I find it really fun. When I was a kid in LA, I used to be terrified, when it came to ‘audition’ day. Yet, after only a few weeks, my friends and I found that we were on around 4 auditions a day, all over LA, for all different shows. I remember, I had The OC, ER, Charmed & A Glamour Magazine, in one day. My other friend had Will & Grace, What I like about you, The OC & CSI. And we’d be dashing through Hollywood, with our ‘sides’ (that’s what you call your audition script) making sure we were prepared and not late. I didn’t really have time to be nervous anymore. Nerves were a waste of time. I had one shot. One read. That read could end up booking me that job. It could change your life. And it did.

I’m back in the UK though now. Have been for years and I’m loving it. The last audition I went on. I booked it. That will air shortly. I did one this morning and loved it, so we’ll see how that goes.

You’ve godda give it you’re all. And I never care what anyone thinks. I’ll go for it.

I mean what’s the point in moaning about getting work, staying in work or whatever else it is you can muster, if you can’t be arsed to put in the effort.

Anything can happen at anytime. More people need to believe that.

If you don’t think so ,you’ve lost FAITH IN YOURSELF. and you shouldn’t because you’re beautiful. No one can do YOUR VERSION of life better than you. I say it all the time. Don’t look over your shoulder at what everyone else is up too. Concentrate on your life, your game, your passion, your strut and go back and get everything that they said you couldn’t have!

I was so excited to perv on Love Island, Adam last night, that my excitement got the better of me, I ran out of excited energy and fell asleep after an exciting garden wine. I’m so shit at being a perv. I mean , If I can’t even do that, then Lord Help my rotten soul. Being a perv is such a brilliant ‘old school’ past time. It’s easy.

Couldn’t do it for toffee though could I!

I’m actually loving Dr.Alex now on Love Island, because I’m feeling really bad for him. I hate that people keep treating hi shitty. But i’m sure the magical world of TV has something up their delicious, no scripted lol, sleeve.

WHOOOPPPPEE!

Whatelse? Oh yeah, some maungy girl, sent me an evil message today and insulted my boobies. Don’t bother. Be smarter. Pick anything but the boobies, because they’re obviously such a ‘Chrissie Wunna‘ strength. A weapon. They’re lethal, with googly eyes on. They drink shots and hypnotize folk. Do your boobs do that? No. Exactly.

So, be smart enough to say I have shit feet or something. It would’ve made me cry, into my prosecco, for a good half a second.

YAWN!

I’m at a wedding on Saturday, so I’m really excited for that. Definitely don’t have a dress. Definitely going to end up leaving it to the last minute. But I fancy wearing lemon. Not A LEMON…as that would just be awkward.

‘Chrissie, why have you come as a piece of fucking fruit?’

In Summer, lemon is my favourite colour. I also like boys who can totally rock pink. But do it so well, that it makes all the girls dribble.

I hope my audition went well? I need something to eat now.

My friend ‘Trigg‘ sent me a message yesterday, apologizing for working so much etc etc…People don’t need to say sorry for doing life or their choices. But when you’re a grown up and working so much, you’re loaded with stress by the buckets on occasion and it’s hard to make time for people isn’t it?

I totally get that. I have the same problem. And our lives are manic. We’ll get around to a catch up.

Yet for those of you, who maybe don’t run busy lives or careers, DO KNOW to ALWAYS remember that someone’s effort is a reflection of their interest in you.

We as girls, and guys (at times,)we always make excuses for people, don’t we? But only when it comes to love. You’re love life is such a big thing isn’t it? It’s important. It motivates you. It makes you feel alive. But like i said in my last blog, I’m happy being single, yet i’m open to finding love. I’m just NOT BOTHERED about ‘coupling up’ with someone, who isn’t my going to be hero, my best friend or potential life partner/buddy/chum chum…whatever else you can bung in there.

I’m not arsed about the game of love. I want a man who’s not scared to chase love, show love, be loved. I like a man who knows how to get what he wants. It’s sexy. I want all boxes ‘ticked.’ And we all deserve that.

I mean, when you’re older. You know what you want. When you’re younger. You make excuses for all sorts and don’t really know as much as you think you do.

Well that was ME, anyway. It might not be you? But probably.

Right i’m off. I need to find a dress….

 

Kittens, Love Island & A Sexy Bit Of Adam Collard!

 

Morning! Morning! Happy Tuesday! God! Last night, at around 10pm, Ruby came into my room. She couldn’t sleep because she was too hot. I opened the window and she heard tiny ‘meowing.’ Then she screamed..

‘IT’S ROCCO..’

Remember we lost our kitten, on that really shocking Friday I had. It was filled with utter disaster..and I thought it would never end. Lol.

We both rush downstairs…Yet i have nothing on expect a yellow bra and knickers…Ruby is just in pants. We haven’t even thought to grab clothes or shoes, during our dash, because we wanted ‘Rocco’ so madly. Clothes didn’t feel like a priority.

At 10.10pm, last night, we ran outside, in the dark, half naked, in no shoes and finally got our kitten Rocco. back home, where he belongs. I wouldn’t have even cared if anyone saw me. My heart was just filled with a happy relief. Be it Kittens, friends or men…They always come back to Wunna Land. 😉

It was the most amazing experience. It filled us with utter joy. Rocco, is back in Wunna Land, and he is as happy as can be! He’s back to living it up!

Hurrah! Naked kitten saving all the way. It’s like being James Bond, but Asian, barefooted and in the nude. 

Away from that, i’ve been resting and working. I have some really great auditions coming up and some really great news. OK Magazine said that I’m tipped for the new series of ‘Celebs Go Dating’ because I said, I loved the show and was back on your  Reality TV Screens shortly.. They also stated that I was ‘coy’ about whether I would be finding love on the reality show. I enjoy being called ‘coy’ simply because i’ve been called a lot WORSE.

But I’m not gonna life. I do fancy a bit of ‘Celebs Go Dating.’ Yet, that isn’t the show that I’m on.

I’ve managed to meet up with KatyP for drinks. She’s lost her bank card and needs booze running through her system. I don’t know what we were talking about the other day, but something to do with how I hate horror movies and sausage dogs. (I never watch horror movies. I can’t stand feeling creeped out.) Weirdly, Julie & Golfer Jonny said that they watched some horror movie called ‘Carrie?’ Something like that anyway?

I was only half listening because Katy P and I were evil cackling about something far more entertaining…(like sex for money, who we’d like to have sex with once… and hobbit feet) but all that happened in the movie was some teenage girl called ‘Carrie’ goes in the shower, get’s her period, people start chucking tampons at her and shouting ‘plug it in?’ Eh? Then she kills everyone….

That’s not a horror movie. That’s just normal real life for a teen. She was just hormonal. Give the girl a break.

I’ve got a couple shoots to be doing and i’m so excited about the new bars and hotels that I am soon to be influencing. I’m also back in Sheffield towards to the end of the month, to revisit Kuckoo. (One of my favourite spots.) I’m actually doing, London, Leeds, Sheffield, York, Manchester, Nottingham, Spain & Newcastle. (Yet this time ‘on purpose’ and not because i just got off at the wrong stop.)

I’m feeling like the luckiest girl in the world.

A couple days ago, I was so lost. But just like that, I’m *popped* right back into action and it’s because I love what I do. I love working. I can’t be left to ‘rest’ unless my rest time is filled with love. I want to make something a bit special of myself…and there’s no shame in that. I know what i’m doing. 😉 (Yeah Baby!)

So watch me nooow!

Oh! I’ve been invited to ‘Da Marino’ in New York, to dine. I can’t remember if I told you that or not? But I have now.  It’s owned by the lovely Chris Noth, who plays ‘Big’ in ‘Sex and the City.’ They figured it was a good match, since a magazine did the ‘UK’s Carrie Bradshaw’ thing. (I know! What is my life!) And yes, again, i’m about to be back on your tv screens. I actually read an email this morning, confirming everything…and i’ve had to wait a really LOOOOOOOOONG time, for it to even almost air.

However, I’m a patient person. I’ve learnt lots in my time and you get what you’re meant to get, when you’re meant to get it. You don’t get what’s not for you. Everything happens at the right time. So I don’t rush anything, when it comes to work. When it comes to love, I’m open, but guarded. I wear my heart on my sleeve, yet these days control how I feel. But yes, be patient, in both love and work.

I mean in love, you can meet someone who’s perfect and if it’s not the right time, you won’t ‘magnet fix.

Yet, you shouldn’t be upset by that, simply because it’s not a bad thing.  Later down the road, be it weeks, months or years….the timing of it all could be much better…Life just needed you to meet earlier than ready…and they’ll always be a reason for that. That reason, you’ll find out.

I completely believe in that. You don’t meet anyone meaningful by accident.

Away from that, OH MY LORD, how HOT is flipping ADAM COLLARD! Jeepers! Peepers! That’s 109 Hail Mary’s from me. I’ll do time in Hell for him. I’m like GOSH! He’s the most attractive man my eyes have ever witnessed on the telly box, in AGES. If there’s a team. I’m on HIS!

HAHAHA! (Why am I such a perv?)

I mean, what girl wouldn’t want to wake up to a bit of Adam every morning! How is he that delicious!?! He’s like a chiseled piece of pie, that I just need to devour.

Even before Love Island aired last night, he was already my favourite. I tweeted it out because i’m waay ahead of my own loin game. Lol. But when he walked onto my TV Screen, he was UNREAL. Hotter than his Promo pictures! And that was it! I was sprung. I’m now hooked. Great casting! I’ll be addicted to Love Island for the rest of the Summer..

From the moment he sauntered into that Villa…That was it! I’m in absolute lust. (Which I always mistake for love. 😉 )

He’s 22 and looks like a grown ass man! What a GIFT!

Thank you Jesus!

But yes, I didn’t want to say it, but i’m delighted with Love Island. I’m already loving it, every little inch of it. I’m skipping the dull bits, I’m loving a bit of Dani Dyer & Jack. I actually like the Doctor. I come from a family of doctors, so I always have a soft spot for one. (Apart the Spanish one that I once dated who tried to *hump* me.) The funny thing is, that as soon as the girls find out he’s a Doctor, all of ‘magical’ sudden, he’ll seem more attractive. *Rolls Eyes.* 

I’m enjoying all the banter. But I’m LIVING for the half naked Adam Collard. Aren’t we all! Shower me in love potion much.

Happy ‘Collard’ Tuesday!

Chrissie x