Inbox Poems, Diets & Showbusiness

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Let’s at least try and start the year positively, right? I’m currently sat in a local pub blogging with a freshly bubbled prosecco and i’ve been scrolling through all my feeds.

Ooh wait….I have a message…

Firmonnell: ‘Why didn’t you come in then??’

Me: ‘You were talking to someone in neon and just looked busy. I’m at the pub now.’

Anyway, I’ve been scrolling through my feeds and gosh….HOW MUCH drama can every human in entertainment shimmie into 2018 with.

If you’re not in entertainment, I’ll tell you, during THIS TIME of the year we all (and I say ‘we’ as I am certainly included in all of this,) but we all hit the *panic button* because we all need to find attention, build attention and push the career a fresh…make our mark and make our money. We worry that we’re going to tinker through the year without making all of our merry dreams come true and we wrongly think that we have to SLAM IT in January to prove that we can start the race well.

ALL THE PANICS

In my ‘older and now wiser’ mind, it’s not a race. It’s not about where you start, it’s where you finish and your journey to the finish line is essential, as that is what makes you. Everyone tends to see the ‘success’ part of the ‘hoo haa,‘ yet forgets to see the journey it took for that person to get there. (We won’t you to see both.)

So as I scrolled I saw the ‘flashes,’ the ‘go getters.’ (Which is all fine, as it’s what the business of ‘show’ is about. There are the ones that play the ‘fame game‘ the ones that only focus on doing the one thing that they love and the ones that capitolize on both.)

But gosh, everything from Logan Paul already having to apologize for his behaviour and we’re only three days into 2018. Whey didn’t he just sit in a bar with a prosecco and chill a second?

If you are unaware of what he did, well…that’s a good thing. I do feel sorry for the poor boy, yet when you push the line, for attention…there is always backlash. I don’t think he expected it to backfire the way it did and I do think that he knew and still knows what he was and IS doing. It was in poor taste and well he ran on an excited energy, for a lot of ‘look at me,’ rather than using his nogging. It worked…negatively.

SIX MILLION views later…and Logan is forced to ‘say sorry’ and attempt to make it right to save his career.

We’re THREE DAYS IN! Rein it in!

Then all sorts happened, Paris (as in Hilton)…I am a product of the Hilton Brand, after tinkering off her ITV2 show, she is now engaged, with her $2million dollar ring and her ‘looks really happy to have found her soulmate’ video…The Jena Frumes/Lingard story….popped out of nowhere…(I can’t decide if it’s a PR stunt or a real life bit of pokery?) If it’s real…then he’s pretty stupid, young, far too horny or blind. If it’s a stunt…then it worked.

And just last night….Celebrity Big Brother began…filling the news with the opinions of showbizzy types…Katie Hopkins made her usual ridiculous remarks about transgender ladies, just to play her role of the villian…and already in that world, a couple days into 2018…Showbusiness has gone ‘cockaleaky,’ and i’ve already been called a ‘bad role model’ by a lady on Twitter who makes machines for the NHS…incase she ever found me on her CBB screen.

Hurrah!

It’s made me need a chill and a wine…and search for a wink of normality. I even messaged all the normal people that I know this morning, just to make sure I was still safe and sane. If anything, I adore peace. I adore the business of ‘show’ yet it’s all about balance for me. I can do both. Lots of people can’t.

So i’m going to use my little bit of kitten voice for all that is positive! 2018 is all about good vibes, love and that cosy bit of energy that leads you to your happy place. A place where you love what you do, adore what you have and believe in what you stand for…and what you stand for..INSPIRES.

I’m gonna start off with this..

I woke up this morning, still in my nighty, checked my inbox email and found the most beautiful poem from a fan…What I love about this person is the simple fact that on Instagram the evening before, he had commented, stating that he would write me a song or write me a poem. The next morning, it was in my inbox.

I LOVE IT WHEN PEOPLE STAND BY THEIR WORD.

It’s so attractive, because so many people, say SO many things and don’t actually mean what they say at all. You know they don’t mean it, because they never ever ‘action’ it.

(Oops hang on..I’m getting distracted. I’ve got quite a lot of things to promote and i’m trying to get through everything over the next couple of weeks. The powers above keep messaging me and dumping parcels infront of me with smiles…)

Anyhow, Here is the poem: (How Thoughtful, right!)

‘Chrissie Wunna

Always believe you’re worth it

Practice makes perfect
So beautiful but yet hardworking
Not a dumb blonde that’s only interested in twerking
Chrissie Wunna
Such a stunner
Light up anywhere like the sun in summer
You’d look good in any number
I feel you have sharp intellect
I wonder what is your main interest
When you die that’s the time to take a rest
Remember to save n invest
Towards your future will leave you feeling truly blessed
Don’t take no disrespect
Never expect
Think carefully what you accept
Stay away from fuck boys
Who try play girls like toys
You’re special
Got the right credentials
Very essential
A man would be proud for you to have their last initial
Wife material
Imagine waking up in the morning chilling drinking tea whilst you eat your cereal
Nice smile
You got alot of style
Dress elegant
Manners are excellent
You run a tight ship within your own regiment
Like a veteran
Chillin wid the folks counting benjamins
Celebrate life cause all you do is win.’

That is one of the first things I read today and it filled my soul with delight. What a lovely person. It made my day! (AND he rhymed ‘Wunna’ with ‘Stunner’ and referred to money as ‘Benjamins.’ That’s double points. I have the best fans! 🙂 AND all my chick friends are accidentally blond, so I like that he called them a bit ‘dumb.’ Hahaha. (If you’re my chick friend and a brunette… My apologies..I’ve forgotten about you of recent. :). All the points! Yes I win…..

You are SO THOUGHTFUL.

Thoughtfulness is so sexy. From the bottom of my kitten heart.

THANK YOU.

(Oh!! AND TO ALLEN, who sent me the flowers! THANK YOU.)

It actually put me in a really positive mood and after reading all the rest of your messages….(and I couldn’t thank you enough for all the love I’m receiving, as you really are making me smile, you really are making my day..) I sorted myself out, made a few phone calls and got back on the deliciously clean ‘straight and narrow.’

Well..that’s after I watched the trailer to ‘Fifty Shades Freed! It looks amazing.I’m totally obsessed. Yes to Mrs Grey!! I can’t wait for February to go watch it with my ‘NO DATE. ‘ Ugh! Why can’t Christian Grey be real? Even if he was…he’d probably opt for not dating me, which would be somewhat awkward. 🙂

I thought everyone loved the Orientals?

I am starting my fitness plan next week. There’s an inappropriate ‘jiggle’ to my wiggle’ right now. I adore my body. I do. Don’t get me wrong. But at 37, after two babies…and a delightful Christmas of cocktailing and eating everything, my body is far too ‘playground’ as I like to call it. There are far too many juicy bits, that should be a little more… tame.

So yes, the diet starts now…The fitness plan begins next week…and who have I gone with to get my kitty self into shippy shape…The one and only, cheeky chappy Joe Wicks…The Body Coach. Millions of you are already following him, so I really don’t need to tell you to. We had a Twitter ‘Morning/Morning’ this morning…meaning I am now read to go.

In 90 days…He will be responsible for any ‘good’ that my body goes through. So, if i look banging…I’ll let him take the credit. On a less funny note…I am sincerely inspired by him….and I really hope you are too!

Wish my sorry ass LUCK.

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2018, Kittens & Baby Pink Undies

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I sailed into 2018 peacefully, armed with the mighty words, that I accumulated via The Fine God, that is P.Diddy…

‘Too blessed to be stressed.’

I had a wonderful 2017. I don’t have to go through it all, because…well, you all know what happened, I wrote a diary about it almost every day. (Well, I told you the bits that I wanted to tell you. 😉 )

It was a big year of ‘building.’ The kinda year where you have a plan, yet FOR ONCE you actually go about ‘being productive’ with it all. For example…How can I put it?  Last year, I didn’t sit and WATCH the fitness video, whilst eating a packet of crisps. I STOOD UP AND DID THE VIDEO.

Changes were made. Changes that put ‘happiness’ first and because of all that sassy sizzle of hard work…this year….in 2018, I should be rubbing two sticks together and finally making a fire.

There’s been lots of moments where in which *sparks* were lit, yet the fire didn’t burn…because I couldn’t dedicate time to it.

So with ‘timing is everything’ as my cliche. In 2018, i’m just gonna get on with it. That fire will burn.

This is my year.

(And I do mean that in both work and love. People always ask me about my love life…When it comes to love…I very much put my hand on my heart and swear by fate.)

How you all feeling? I’ve watched all your Snapchat & Insta stories and lived your New Year’s Eve with you!

So whether you woke up in a new city, or with a strange human laying next to you, or on a friend.. of a friends sofa… or at home with the kids, on your own..whatever happened? Whether you woke up hungover, sober or immersed in an accidental new chapter…KNOW… that you’re fine.

It’s Monday. It’s cool. You can use January 1st as an excuse to ‘start over.’

During the day, I had a busy New Years Eve, as I was on a train with Ruby & Junior (and my Mum) at 9.12am. I was on Platform Six, at Doncaster train station and headed into Leeds to go do lunch, a ‘Meet and Greet’ and stroke kittens at The Kitty Cafe.

Popular place. I had a WONDERFUL TIME. Really happy to have met you all. (I was late because my Taxi Driver didn’t know how to get there. I hate that, because if I was a taxi driver…I’d KNOW HOW TO DRIVE PLACES.) Fabulous wonderland. That place is spankingly bouji. It’s peaceful, yet busy and I’d say the perfect place to take your children….if they adore kittens.

Ruby & Junior LIVED FOR IT. I couldn’t get them out of the place! I had to pretend that we were buying a kitten, that would magically arrive at our home… by post? JUST TO GET THEM TO LEAVE.

I actually couldn’t believe how amazing the cafe was! You should absolutely go for the experience. However, I was there to ‘meet you’ and ‘greet you’…and that pretty much was my focus. (I love that you can order a Japanese flowering tea there. All the BOUJ!)

Just so you know! There’s actually going to be A GREAT DEAL of opportunities to ‘Meet Me’ and ‘Greet Me’ throughout this year. I’m excited to see you. I love it. It’s my favourite part of the ‘ball.’ A lot of you are asking…So yes, do not fret! The opportunity to say ‘hello’ and tinker in Wunna and will be there.

But anyway, my New Years Eve, was all about family. I had everyone around at my place and after a dance off, a few drinks, a bit of food, mixed in with the art of acting out ‘Little Mix’ videos. (Junior LOVES a shindig. He went bonkers with his dance moves and pout. His soul is every inch Wunna Land. Ruby is sassy, sophisticated, but FUN.)

Junior: ‘Mum, swing that chandelier thing about…No!  Do it really fast, so it makes the room look like a party.’

(Olly Murs ‘Dance With Me’ was on in the background, so loud that you couldn’t hear anyone speak at all. I guzzled Prosecco and forgot to think about my waistline. Oh and DO KNOW, that a Diet Guru did actually contact me and you will SEE which plan I think i’m going to go with….over the next couple weeks. Oh! And everyone keeps messaging me, asking what my New Years resolutions are? I haven’t thought that far ahead yet. Lol. Do people still make New Year resolutions? I thought they had been buried with the art of giving Christmas cards?)

Bottom line, I don’t like to restrict myself, simply because my life turns insane at points and I need to be emotionally and physically ‘flexi’ enough to Rumba along with it, without ‘Stop Signs’ and ‘Tut Tut, Shakey Fingers’ telling me to ‘Watch out.’

There was definitely a point last night where I found myself with a left handful of Jelly Babies & a right handful of Bombay Mix.

Oh the glamour!

I ate out of both handfuls..gracefully. Infact, a tiny piece at a time, like I was the Queen.  Then washed it down with prosecco..ungracefully…like I was Captain Jack Sparrow…in a faux fur….Or did I do it like I was Ru Paul? I can’t decide?

Anyway, the family party is going on downstairs. I tinker upstairs to find something. Lords knows what? Maybe my dignity, some help, a cocktail bar, Elvis? Who Knows???

I saunter into my room, slip into my’ comfiest comfies’ and then accidentally fall asleep in my pj’s at around 11.30pm without telling anyone, just before the whole ‘HAPPY NEW YEAR,’ hoo haa. (I do that..When I need to rest, I just disappear…and get comfy. That’s why I always love guys who like to kick back and get comfy, in their comfies.)

Mum: ‘I walked upstairs to find you and you were tucked in bed, with the lights out fast asleep, with a giant bottle of Prosecco by your bedside…even RUBY stayed up!! Haha.’

Woke up this morning feeling,

FRESH AS A DAISY.

So FRESH, I was *breezy.*

So CLEAN, I was *squeaky.*

Tried a whole ‘dazzle’ of Ann Summers numbers on, before noon. Delightful little pieces of ‘cheeky, cheeky.’ I love Ann Summers, I think it’s GREAT. I’ve obviously worked alongside them previously, as I designed a Sex Toy range, with Jacqueline Gold (CEO of the company,) which was filmed and aired on Channel 4. I was ‘fitted’ into all sorts of pieces this morning….Some played well with my body…Some got the ‘thumbs down…Something got the ‘YES!!! THAT’S IT!’ ( I love those moments.)

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Then I had fish and chips. (Yay! Well done Diet Queen.) And because I worked SO HARD during 2017 and because (here we go) I have such an exciting 2018 of ‘work hard’ but with results for you to enjoy…I kinda wanted to just rest today. I’m already in my comfies, sat on my bed blogging, with a wine.

 So January the 1st. 2018…Wunna Land rested. Lol.

What? If my soul needs to rest, it’ll rest and if my soul needs to play…it’ll play.  🙂 🙂

Tomorrow…I’m headed in with a wink…

Welcome to 2018.

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Check out my Instagram & Facebook Stories for Wunna Land ‘Behind The Scenes’ moments.

x

 

Empires, Kitty Leeds & Totally Rubbish Baskets

‘You always have the strangest basket…’

‘I know! I’m useless. I hate a big shop….How much?’

That’s what the lovely cashier said to me at The Co Op after I purchased a bottle of prosecco and a bag of kitty litter. (Not for myself, but for baby kitten Rocco. 😉 I could never poo in an actual tray, as obviously that would be somewhat unbecoming. J )

I used to really hate supermarket shopping. But now I quite like it. It’s growing on me. Yet, I can only saunter in and buy a couple of things at a time..OH and I don’t enjoy the cold isles. However, do know that these ‘couple of things’ are delivered to the cashier in the most uncanny combinations…to the point where she has noticed my randomness and needs to tell me to get help. 🙂

Here are some Wunna Land supermarket combinations….a bottle of Bailey’s and All Night Tampons..Goats Cheese and Bob The Builders Magazine....a BAG OF CELERY and Tweezers.

It works for me! I need to have the patience to commit to a ‘big shop.’

Anyway, how are you all! I’ve lunched today. I was meant to have a coffee meeting earlier this morning..I got up, ready, dressed and drove there and they didn’t show up and couldn’t even be arsed to tell me.

Yippeee!

I did actually see ‘Hustle Barbie’ en route…(Who keeps trying to steal my girl crush ‘Ellen Degeneres’ …because she’s a vegan. GET YOUR OWN VEGAN CRUSH…LIKE…. THAT CHICK I SAW ON YOUR FACEBOOK WALL CUDDLING A COW…OR WAS IT A DONKEY? 😉 )

Anyway…I didn’t have time to say ‘Hey’ simply because I had to show up for my meeting….that didn’t bother to show up.

How annoying!

Me: ‘Hi. I’ve just seen you…but walked right passed..’

Hustle: ‘Oh cheers! Thanks for popping in!’

But anyway, I shook it off and tinkered to Doncaster to do lunch with The Wunna’s. Plus, I needed a bit of a shop afterward. I ADORE A GOOD SHOP AROUND, when it comes to all girly necessities.

My Mum had a rough morning, so she needed some ‘first born’ love. When she told me the story, of what she went through today,  I was FUMING because even though I’m a fun loving ‘Sasserilla,’ I’m SO LOYAL to the people that I care about…

SO LOYAL, that I’ll not have ANYONE firstly try to cause ‘drama’ where drama isn’t due and secondly….’have a go‘ at someone that I care about.

‘Get your finger out of her face…’

We ate and drank loads. Like ya do. Totally made us feel better. I love my mum. Don’t mess with Wunna Land.

*Wink*

BUT OH MY GOSH! We need to stop everything because I need to find me some kinda crazy ass diet plan immediately, for 2018.

I was doing so well and being all veggie and losing weight left right and centre. I kinda felt ‘banging.’ I felt great. I had a glamour pussy, MILF strut.

Over the last week..I’ve eaten everything…probably even YOU. I’ve drank EVERYTHING…You’re share. I’ve indulged in foods that my body would never ever ALLOW…passed my ever so LYPSAL lips.

So yes…I now feel chubby…which is quite inappropriate to say that I have a  MILLION flipping PHOTOSHOOTS, where in which I AM TO POSE….with either NOTHING or hardly anything on!

Yipppeeee!

FYI/ Thank you to all of you, who are engaging with my ‘socials.’ I love you for it. I appreciate it, deeply.

Lord knows what i’m gonna do, other than ‘wing it?’ But I quite fancy getting into shape right now. I love a diet. I love a bit of action. I hate it when everyone goes on about it because it’s the NEW YEAR. (Even though I’m rambling on about it now. 😉 Why does the New Year make us want to ‘all of sudden’ be skinny? )

I have no clue which diet, or who’s diet to follow??? But i’m sure after posting this…..some Diet Guru…will come a knocking on my glittery door, with a plan, an idea and a collaboration. (It’s how it all works now.)

BOUJI

Everything’s great. I’m actually feeling wonderful. Life is just brill right now. It’s delicious.

I’ve noticed that everyone’s getting geared up for 2018….You’re all posting ‘i’ve had a good year’ quotes and ‘i’ve learnt all these lessons’ quotes, on your feeds. 🙂

I’ll tell you, that I’m excited for times ahead, yet like I said, i’m staying in the present. What’s meant to be is meant to be. What’s yours… is yours. What’s not…is not.

All you have to do is *roll* the ball, down that grassy hill and with that little push, see what magic happens.

Do also know that you still have a whole entire DAY LEFT OF 2017. It’s not over yet. Anything can happen in an hour, let alone an entire day. So, don’t be washing away your sins until it’s time. 🙂

I’m a really lucky girl and i’m going through a really lucky time. I thank YOU for that.

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I thank anyone who’s given me a reason to write this year. You’ve made excellent content and been a great cast (as I like to say) throughout 2017. As people have read my life and if you have been included in this blog this year, they have also read about YOU AND YOURS….GLOBALLY.

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I’ve had the biggest hits of all time this year ( a quarter of a million monthly unique visits) and it’s all stemmed from the fine art of ‘diary writing.’ Something so simple that means so much to me. We’re still smashing every single continent of the world….it’s still being translated into 47 different languages daily and…the blogs age range has been SO wide this year, that it’s danced from SIXTEEN year olds… to those who are SIXTY FIVE years of age. Men AND Women.  Can you even believe it!??!!!

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I’ve kinda taken huge ‘baby steps’ this year, y’know stomped my stiletto firmly, into my patch of ‘cyber’ and you’ve listened. I haven’t been scared this year. I’ve gone for it. I’ve done everything I needed to do, to make changes, to just be happy. Both in love and work.

This year I worked hard…and the blogs beginning to make it’s mark…

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

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(Honestly, you don’t even know, how much I appreciate you reading this! I’m finally building an empire…)

GOSH!!

I have everything crossed for 2018…You never know what’s going to happen…

But before that…like I said, WE HAVE A WHOLE ENTIRE DAY LEFT of 2017!!

Let’s make it a good one, eh!

Tomorrow morning at 10am…I will be visiting the MUCH TALKED ABOUT  …

KITTY CAFE

IN LEEDS….

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I’ll be there from 10am. (It’s now fully booked out!!)

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I’m taking Ruby and Junior..and we couldn’t be MORE EXCITED to drink exotic teas, sip a couple mocktails and enjoy lunch, as we stroke the resident kittens!!

Follow my Insta stories, Snapchat and Facebook tales….and you’ll get to see what we get up to, when we take on the Kitty Cafe!

All my love,

Chrissie x