Gorgeous week of weather but I’m stressed up to the max, as everyone else undertakes barbecuing, beer gardens and bikini tops in baby oil. (Hot weather in the UK is always chilly to me, although I do love it. Growing up in LA and swishing around a hotel pool with cocktails, in the 80 degree heat at 10am, makes every other kind of sunny weather seem nippy. (I’m having a flash back of drinking 8 bloody mary’s for breakfast with all my guy model friends…i have no idea why I only had hot model guy friends or gay friends, and Jesse Metcalfe was pool side eating chicken wings, in his basketball cap, with his shirt pointlessly ON. 🙂 Some guy then stopped me mid-paddle and told me that I was the ‘hottest girl in the world.’ Then some other guy stopped me and called me ‘an idiot.’ 🙂 Welcome to my life. ) I’m now in Pontefract, being a mum of two. I’m super happy about that part and super happy to be earning dosh and creating a beauty line. Yet i have a rash, a bunch of stress and elderflower mixed gin in cans. I hate pressure and i’m under it…hence the rash. When i’m stressed the thing I tend to do is push everyone away and deal with it all myself..quietly, in a corner, as I puzzle, figure things out and drink wine.
Today, i have a day off and I need boxes. I’m moving and haven’t packed a thing. 🙂 This end in me throwing everything out in a giant skip. 🙂 But yes, i need boxes, big boxes and someone else to pack them, I think! 🙂 I’m lazy like that. When I was married to Mike in LA, whenever we moved he would NEVER EVER let me LIFT finger. He BANNED ME from doing anything that was remotely hard labour and simply because he was a gentleman and his dad had always taught him that ladies should never have to tend to such nonsense. It was men’s work. I miss that!!! And I don’t mean jsut having a man to do the carrying. I mean Michael’s good morals when it came to things of that sort. It wasn’t even half bad. He was great and classy, when it came to being a gentleman. I actually learnt a lot from him and when I go back to LA, i’ll no doubt remember to tell him.
However, yes…today…i have to do it all by myself. Nothing’ll get done. I’m not in the mood and my hair is too big. My hair’s doing, ‘Miss. World.’ I’m breathing, i’m relaxing and well my parents have provided me with a calm blanket of comfort. They have been around every evening to make sure their little girl is okay and they’ve also spent quality time with the babies. (Ruby is amazing right now, so happy, clever and confident. Junior is hilarious and simply because he’s always having a blast. Yesterday when I picked him up from nursery after work. The sun was out, the radio was playing, I had cracked the windows down an inch and he raised both arms in the air, laughed out loud and shouted ‘YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAH’ literally ALL THE WAY HOME! They’re getting on perfectly right now and when you’re a Mam having your two bambinos be so close makes your heart melt. They’re worked out their own pecking order. Rubes is obviously in charge, yet Junior will only let her boss him about ot a certain level before he needs anger management. It’s cute. 🙂 He spent the evening prank calling people from my phone’s contact list. He sounded like order 47 from a Chinese takeaway menu, followed by a belly laugh.)
Sorry. I get carried away when i natter on about the babies. It’s the Summer, it gets me excited and my heart fills with extra love for them.
I woke the other morning to my Daddy singing as background noise and it was wonderful. He had stayed over the night on the sofa, (poor thing) just to make sure I was okay. I have a great dad. I woke up at 6am and heard him merrily singing downstairs and it brought back a flood of happy childhood memories, y’know that rush of happiness that you get, when you remember the amazing times you had a child. It felt so great that I could never ever be without my family. I feel lucky. (I hope this rash isn’t scabies?)
Anyway…on a news (and not about me) front a 12 year old girl has just given birth to a baby girl, and the father is only 13 years old. Her 27 year old mother is now the youngest grandma in the UK and holy shit, what a terrible story! I mean, she’shad the baby now and life is a wonderful thing,s o my blessings go out to the baby threefold. YET, OMG…parenting much? I am such a snob when it come to ages that ladies give birth and i’m not afraid to say it. I mean, my Mum created and developed the Young People’s Sexual Health Clinics nationwide….where she advised and safeguarded the young…on sex. When I was younger (and maybe because of the people i grew up around,t he way I was raised, my environment…my school etc…) but I thought 15 year old and 16 who were falling pregnant were hideous!! 🙂 I just couldn’t believe it, because I couldn’t believe that they were sexually active, I and just thought that they were chavs. Lol. I felt like that they didn’t thinking of how they were going to fiance they’re children’s future, send them to private school or anything (note this is when I was 15 🙂 ) and well I thought that they were either misguided or needed to be loved.)
I still actually think that way. 🙂 I’m not a fan of teen pregnancies. I mean it’s hard enough for some people to handle at 30 something. You can’t do it at 12! She was pregnant at 11 years old and her Mum had her when she was only 15!!! Surely, she would advise her child aptly and give her the correct sex education needed because of this. Or do people just think it’s okay to birth babies at 11, 12…15…? I hate all this modern world stuff. Lol.I’m a proper oldie and traditionalist when it comes to some of my morals. That’s why I hate broken families (even though that’s what has happened to me…but only because I chose bad men, who weren’t brought up with the same morals…well Pete was and that’s why he wanted to stay. Keiran wasn’t…that’s why he chose partying. How you’re raised matters.) I just think having a baby at 12, and getting pregnant at 11 and the father only being 13 is terrible. That’s their childhood’s over. They can’t parent at 12 and 13! It just annoys me because even I want the BEST for their tiny baby and well it seems that history repeats…meaning that hopefully people will step in, break a cycle and be there for the baby all the way through it’s life! CRAZY! I can’t believe it. I’m astonished. And what makes it worse is that the 11, now 12 year old girl, just states that she is madly in love with her 13 year old boyfriend, knows he’s the one and wants to marry him? What???? She must’ve just needed to feel loved, a love that she wasn’t getting at home or in her heart and well him being a 13 year old boy…i just can’t even discuss this further…lol. WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TOO? I want normal grownups to fall in love, get married, stay married and have babies….that they care for together..forever. Fairytales only please. No 11 year old pregnant drama. GOSHY! (Snob time over. But i am a snob. I can’t help it. I hate stuff like that and I also hate ladettes, chav culture, druggies and uneducated people. 🙂 Whilst we’re chatting. )
I got my first Easter card yesterday. Pete remarkably had Ruby do one, well make one for me…like he did on Mother’s day! How sweet of him. This is again a first, but a great first because like i said, he’s really turning around and becoming this great man, this great father…and showing me that he is! I’m really proud of him and it was really nice to know that he thought of me and it was sort of a ‘thank you’ for looking after his baby girl. I love my card! He’s been doing A LOT with Ruby these days and it’s been wonderful. It’s really helped her greatly. Really made her far more confident. With me, it’s the small things that I notice and remember. The small things that matter. The small things that can make me change my mind about a person. I’m looking forward to Easter. It’s going to be amazing. It’s going to be a fun filled, cake, bunny, easter bonnet, family affair! Can’t wait! Some of you will be doing a Bank Holiday partying. I’ll be with my babies. 🙂
Can’t remember what else I was gonna tell you?
I’m kinda cutting myself off things right now, until i can get things sorted. It’s not a bad ‘cutting things off,’ it’s just a moment to keep my head down and focus.
The Wuns. 😉