Strippers from Russia Suck

‘But you’re famous, and i’m just a little boy from Lithuainia.’- was the last text message i recieved before bedtime. It’s worrying, i know, but i guess it’s just the remaining pieces of Friday night?? Anyhow, i’m refuelled, rejuvenated, and ready to get into more McTrouble. It June1st, (time flew by) and in the grand total of 11 days, i’ll have giant boobies gracefully SHOVED into the top half of body (as it would be a little weird, if they were shoved into my lower half??) I’m still a bit tired, so i’m juicing my health back, so i’m fighting fit, for the oncoming ‘boobage.’ It’s funny, as i can really go out and party like a champion, all day all night, wake up the next morning and do it all over again, but even better…AND give random people the props that they seem to have left in my bag back, the night before. (Nothing beats the 70’s afro wig to the Vagina move.) I thought the older you got, the harder the recovery?? It’s all LIES!!

Today i’m going to watch ‘Sex in the city’ the movie, i felt it would be a great way to get back to my normal self…i’m almost there, but kind of not really. Yet a few hunks, shoes, and talks on blowjobs, will definitely get my mind set back to ‘function.’ Oh and i’ve decided to not like bitchy girls, who do not use ENGLISH as their first language. This Russian stripper, i’ll call her ‘bitch,’ was searching the floor of a nightclub, for God knows what, but probably her ‘sense of humour.’ I see her, kindly offer my assistant, and she basically turns around, gets in my little oriental face, turns into a Russian dragon bitch, (note, she’s not hot she looks like Ugly betty….for those of you who are getting this all wrong)… and screams, ‘I DON’T FUCKING SPEAK ENGLISH. (huff puff huff puff) I CAN’T FUCKING EXPLAIN WHAT I’M FUCKING LOOKING FOR!!!!’- in plain English. She needs to get burnt at the stake or something. Eww..i hate her!!! She’s the only stripper i’ve ever seen who men do the ‘dodge and weave’ on.( hahaha!!) I’m going to get coffee, and contemplate boys from Lithuainia.

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