Steak and Blowjob Day Tomorrow…

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So, all was well in the Wunnaful world of deliciousness, until I scanned my horror of a Facebook news feed and realized that TOMORROW, yes March 14th, is ‘STEAK & BLOWJOB DAY,’ the day all men (who actually know about it,) celebrate as their own bit of ‘Valentines.’ The day where they believe they deserve blowjobs and red meat..and all in one! Ewww! It’s a day we as women unite…even if we hate each other…and form an alliance, to stop the nonsense of March 14th from being welcomed into our world. MEN don’t deserve a DAY. Let alone A DAY, where they get steak and a blow job. So, if you’re a girl of little strength and feel the need to commit to such a ritual…(please don’t) then you just remember all the shitty things men have done to you..the times they cheated on you, stayed out longer than expected, treated you like crap, lied to you…not been your hero..failed to stand up for you, made you foot the dinner bill, slagged you off to all his friends, forgotten to be romantic, ditched you for a ‘boys night,’ or even worse, lied to you and ditched you for a pretend ‘boys night.’ Think of the times they made you weep, disappointed you, sat in your living room and texted, or inboxed another girl behind your back….think of the times they couldn’t cope and left you, never understood you, blamed you for their own insecurities, failed to be responsible, love or protect you…:) I could obviously go on…(I’ve definitely met great guys in my life. Lol.)

Basically, they don’t deserve a day where we submit our ‘ooh laa’ powers and fall onto our knees, AFTER COOKING THEM A FRICKING STEAK…at all! I forbid this day from happening. Even in comedic circumstances.

It’s apparently a day for men that is exactly one month after Valentines days, which is also apparently just a woman’s holiday. (Not true.) I got no cards this V-day, but sent a card this year. How hideous. I know. Shush!

Anyway, it’s pointless. I mean, at least Valentines day has some kind of magic to it. It’s filled with hope and love. However, this is how ‘steak and blowjob’ day goes…

‘Hey Jack…what did you get on steak and blow job day..’

‘..a blowjob..and a crap bit of steak.’

‘..Are you going to marry her then?’

‘Nah. Can’t be arsed. She’ll hurt me. ‘

AS IF THAT’S A HOLIDAY TO CELEBRATE! No romance. No ‘woo’ factor. No love.

Please, please, p-lease..if you are a lady of the insecure nature…know that this is a day that you MUST NOT  surrender toooooooooooooooo EVER! 🙂 Remember, even in good humour…it’s a trick. Men will TRICK you into the fact that they’re being funny and it’s a joke, when really they DO WANT  bit of red meat and a blow job. Lol. It’s like in the middle of sex and you see their face turn over to the dark side. Y’know, that face they do when they’re get into it, but when they notice you looking at them do the face they change it quick with embarrassment.

I’m fine, safe and dandy, because i’m not in a position to be having to commit to such Tom Foolery. Yet, unless you want a Mulberry handbag…( we all need new handbags or Chanel clutches,) OR your ‘other half’ is truly, truly worth it….and you really need a Mulberry handbag. 🙂 DON’T MAKE THEM THINK THEY HAVE A DAY! Especially not one that involves meat. 🙂 🙂

Simples.

Love you.

Quick report.

Wunna x

1 thought on “Steak and Blowjob Day Tomorrow…”

  1. As a Gent I do not recognize such a crass holiday (although I guess it’s surely a piss-take at the hallmark holidays?).

    But it’s nice to be taken care of once in a while y’know…and a blowjob is as ‘magical’ as any romantic gesture on Valentines Day!

    And being a gent I always reciprocate…;)

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