‘You’re like this innocent googly eyed kitten of ‘play,’ with a sick twisted touch of disgusting adult wit,’ is the statement i woke up to as i slowly peeled open my slanted eyes this morning. (Are they open? I can’t tell?) Imagine openning your eyes to a face hovering over your face, flinging a statement at you, before you’re even fully awake. However it’s better than the usual ‘is this your coat? Now do one…’ I’ll take a delicious statement over a skip to the Doctors for ‘the morning after pill’…ANYday. (*she fans herself, then scratches her crotch*)
I’m loving Yorkshire, I am, I am. I’m quite fond of this whole ‘open spaces that i can gallop upon,’ thang, with a cocktail, a push up bra and a glint of the old ‘ooh laa’ in my eye. I don’t feel TRAPPED! And when i don’t feel trapped, i’m unstoppable. (*shakes off some lingering male stud, that seems to have clung himself to her arm.*)
Why are all the boys i’m currently meeting ‘sexually confused??’ I don’t get it? You have choices. Gay! Straight! Or inBe-fucking-Tween!!! It’s not that hard. Now we all know I love my Gays. (I teach them all about posing, tits and ‘Glamour Pussing.’) Then I wave the flag for all things Straight (and well a whole lot of other ‘pussing‘ goes on. I mean you don’t want to be a straight boy and meet me in a dark alley with your virginity still in tact.) But i’m not feeling or getting this whole BI-Sexual Malarky & it’s because i don’t like anything ‘inbetween.’ I know Me! I know what i am! Therefore i seem to (and this is gonna sound deliciously awful) but how can you not pick a team you greedy, attention seeking bastards! I don’t understand ‘sit on the fencers.’ Yet ofcourse i’m a giant hypocrite.. as i’ve diddled & enjoyed quite a few of you ‘i’m not sure what i prefer’ lovelies. And sex has always been good! It’s the lust of confusion. (‘You prefer ME you greedy cunt!’) *Note: I do not want all you Bi’s to take offence at this jiggery pokery…as i do love you. And really no ‘cunt’ is greedier than my own. I mean i’ve had times when i’ve thought ‘do i like girls’ then 4 seconds afterwards decided ‘NO.’
But going back, isn’t it true that everyone now knows, that to shock people at the dinner table…all you have to do is say ‘I’m Bi-sexual…oh and can you pass me the salt.’ I mean, it used to be ‘eating disorder,’ then it moved onto ‘drug problem‘ and now everyones on this ‘use sexual confusion’ as i way to snag a bit of ‘look at me.’
In the worshipping actions of my new love George Hamilton…ALL you have to do is DROP ya pants, or PING out of ya bra with a *shock face* for a little Attention. There’s no need to change your whole sexuality, before dessert.
‘It was a gag i believe is beneath me…Yet i did it anyway.’ ~George Hamilton