I have just quite possibly given myself the BEST sponge bath in the world ever!! Oh my god, i feel so finger licking gooood!! Yeah, i know it’s weird that i would opt for a quick sponge down, as would a Gypo, instaed of a creamy warm tub, however i was smeared in the fakest of tans, and really did need to scrub it all off…visciously, as it’s a bleeding bugger, and looks quite terrible. (Plus, i thought it would be appropriate, as i’ve spent the majority of my time, in the old mens ward, at the hospital.. boy do they Lurve their sponge baths!)
Okay, so i stripped down naked, and stood on a towel infront of the sink. I’ve tried this many times before, and been quite disappointed at the quality of tht sponge i have used. This time i selected a medium sized, white coloured round thing, costing the grand total of 49p, and well basically one side was full of knobbles…spongey knobbles n grooves, as it apparently gives you a whole massaging once over. So i’m thinking fuck it, it’s gonna be shite, but who cares, it was only 49p. BOY WAS I WRONG!!! I soaked the sponge in the warmest of waters, added a bit of creamy pink soap, lifted one leg up onto the sink, in my full naked glory, and started to rub slowly and gently!! OH MY GOD!! Best feeling ever. It started to make me feel all warm and sexy. It was orgasmic!! IYou have no idea how it felt. This 49p massaging sponge thing, is the greatest thing to have ever happened to me!!! It felt glorious…i think my eyes rolled into the back of my head, in agonising excitement. I scrubbed away, slowly at first doing circular motions, upward motions, then it got faster and faster, and my legs started to feel a bit sore. Yet the sponge was a trooper and i continued rubbing, downwards, sidewards…. I think at one point i was legs open, doggy style screaming , ‘Give it to me big boy.’ I scrubbed all over my body…shit, it’s even making me a bit moist now….hahah…just thinking about it!! I’m not joking. If i can do that to myself with a bloody sponge then you boys have NO excuse in the bedroom!! It tore a bitch up!! hahahaha. I’m always disappointed with men in the bedroom, You always promise me the world, yet we obviously must have very different views of the size and magic-ness of the world??? I’m a good shag…and it’s because i’m a show off….lol..
I am now fully fresh and so clean, clean. My fake tan is gone, my new tan with appear tomorrow, and i think i’ve quite possibly lost my virginity to a 49p sponge. GO GET ONE!!