Speedy Grandads, Hope and F******Rain


God! The funniest thing that happened to me today was the fact that I almost got bowled over, on a quiet, happy pavement,by a 100 year old pensioner, in a farmer’s flat cap, who was speeding in his moped.

It was HILARIOUS. I have never seen anything *ZOOM* by me so fast in my entire life. It was like he was part of the ‘Wacky Races’ or something. I swear that it was a hardcore ‘Catch the Pigeon’ theme tune moment!!!

He literally RUSHED past me and left my knickers in a twist. Old people are always comedy. My eyelashes nearly flew off my face! It was chucking it down with rain and I had decided to buy brightly coloured bargain rugs in the short break that I had. So there I was, feeling 50% anyway, due to my meaty period and just basic feeling of dowdiness…HOLDING lime coloured rugs, rugs with polka dots on and also a giant pink ‘hop scotch’ rug for Ruby….and *ZOOM,* there goes the BEAST that is the speedy, moped, Grandad. Bowled me over, he did! I’m surprised he didn’t middle finger me whilst he passed. He was the acest old man, (aside from my father) that I had ever met. (In that moment anyway.) Let’s hope he hit the brakes though because for all I know, he could’ve been going fast by accident and well he may now have even known how to stop!! Imagine that! There I was trundling along, moaning about my period when there was some 100 year old man, in a flustery mad panic, because he couldn’t find the brakes on a 100 mile per hour scooter. ๐Ÿ™‚ That’s sounds more like it. Wacky Races? Not as fun now that you know it could’ve ended in death.

The weather is shocking and it’s really pissing me off. It’s put me in a bad mood y’know. i didn’t even go on the sunbed today to cheer me up and pretend like I was on some exotic island with an umbrella drink, simply because I couldn’t face taking my clothes off. How very unlike me, as we know that’s a game that I’ve enjoyed to play in the past. I bed hardly any boys are getting laid in this weather, in this rain. If they are, they’re only getting bonked by slaggy girls, who need to put out to make the boy like them. ๐Ÿ™‚ All the older, more together chicks are like ‘ooh it’s far too cold to be unbuttoning my shirt, let alone taking it all off to swirl around a penis for a second, performing a series of sex faces.’ย 

In Hollywood it NEVER rains. In fact no, it probably rains about 2 times a year, i’d say, not never. So when it does do a trickle, ย it’s classed as VERY rare, meaning they call this weather ‘baby making’ weather, because everyone stays in and bonks to keep warm? ๐Ÿ™‚ ย It’s not called ‘Baby Making’ weather in England…as the down pour of heavy rain isn’t too much of a shocker. It’s just shit, so it’s not special at all. It’s making me grumpy, incase you couldn’t tell. ๐Ÿ™‚

I’ve left a town of tinsel and blistering 80 degree…everyday…heat, to shiver, in an up-do…. in good old blighty. But i’ll not moan as I do certainly adore being British. However, I do certainly adore the sun. I want to do 6 months in LA every year, once the kiddies are older.

Anyway, I better go. I’m freezing and tired and bleeding. I have a very rainy nursery run to conquer shortly and well I never had time to take that long bubbly bath that I wanted. Mums never get that time, do we? Lol.

I’m really looking forward to doing well in life.

Hope you are too…

Remember that everyone who made it big time, all started off just the same as everyone else. Regular, down and out people, who had a dream that they desperately wanted to achieve. The people who achieve are the people who wanted it most. Even if it seemed like they didn’t. They wanted it more than anything. Why? Well because they used their time to hone their talent, learn their craft, excel in what they do and nurture themselves fully, whilst selling themselves to the maximum, staying positive, being whole of heart, knowing that they could and WOULD do it and surrounding themselves with all of the correct homies. They never missed or gave up on an opportunity, but most importantly, they were never scared to go head first, with their bravest of hearts to do anything they could to get them in front of the right people…at the right time. ๐Ÿ™‚

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