Woke up this morning actually crying…and i have no idea why? Hahaha! All i remember is dreaming that i was in tears over something or other…you can never remember in dreams can you? Then i suddenly *shocked* up and i had actual real life tears ( i know, weird right? I was like…what is this watery substance a leaking from my pretty eyes??) However, yes….i was crying. I thought things in ‘dreamand’ stayed in ‘dreamland,’ but i guess not, because last night without me even knowing, i was ‘real life’ living my ‘dreamland.’ How can this be? The only time this has ever happened before was when i once wee’d myself in a purple sleeping bag, whilst ‘dreaming’ i was actually on the toilet. I also learnt today that babies actually dream before they are actually born. Insanity innit!
Anyway, i’m back in the cyber cafe…which is mildly fun now, as it’s the only way i can reach you all for a quick ’empty’ of the mind. No pervs in here today (excluding myself ofcourse) just a dog in a metal studded collar, who’s owner is refusing to pull away from me. I’m pretending i like it, but believe me…i’m oriental…we eat these things for lunch or something, i hear? I’ve been filming all day and well i’m finally on a tiny break. Not that i like being on a break, as i am a secret workaholic…but because when you don’t have internet and are craving the WorldWide Web…nothing is better than a tiny break to get your fix! (I thundered past people all diva, with a trail of cigarette, in my fur, claiming i needed to ‘reach my people & blog for them.’ LMAO. I saw the rolling eyes, when i turned around and *giggled,* they forgave me for my egotistical over the top jiggery pokery and made me tea. 🙂 )
Last night, all the boys that maybe might fancy me, who i might have gone on dates with or accidentally casually slept with decided to conform to the art of ‘dickheadry‘ behaviour. I’m not sure what i did, but it seems MEN like a lot of your attention. Therefore having a rather independant streak, makes them get all ‘huffy and puffy.’ (Eww…much.) I don’t like ‘huffy puffy’ men, it’s far too Queeny for me. Anyway to give you a quick run-down, (and a quick one as i’m not too bothered with boy drama right now, i feel far too fabulous for my good…*gets swallowed up by ego*) but yeah, ‘Lashes‘ didn’t enjoy what i blogged about him. (Oooh what a surprise?) Instead of just opting for the ‘Cool like Fonzi’ option, he played little boy tactics and BBM-ed me his pain, decorated in the fine art of ‘bitchiness.’ I believe i accidentally hurt his pride, because i said something not too complimentary about our ‘bedroom fumble’…(and i don’t care because i want you to know what really happens, and how i truely feel and know that everything isn’t always perfect for me) and well he decided to be a ‘Dickhead‘ via BBM to Me. (I enjoy how i’m having to guess what keys are what, on this keyboard, as half of them have been rubbed off by sweaty palmed perverts. Delicious!)
Long story short, he dumped me, by saying he wanted to stay forever single…followed by a dose of hurt male ego. You can’t dump someone you’re not actually dating? We haven’t dated for months now? We did this ages ago? Hahaha! *scratches head in confusion* That’s like me turning around to this rather bizarre looking man next to me, and yelling ‘That’s it! It’s OVER! You’re DUMPED!!’ Maybe i should? It is kinda funny, right? Anyway, i pointed my points out and well he realized what he had done…which means he did actually like me all along, but was far to afraid to show it…(I don’t like that…be ballsy boys..you have a set) and well he palmed it off with a feeble ‘oh it doesn’t matter.’ I just don’t fancy ‘Lashes’..it was done ages ago.
THEN, i had another male a don’t fancy, or haven’t even been on a date with ever, (i just met him at a bar) who plays football, demand that i be his girlfriend. I don’t mind him, but i simply don’t like the fact that he struggled to beable to count to 4, in record time and that he told me that he ‘wanted to suck all the milk out of titties, like he did Jodie Marshes.’ (Which not only is obviously the HEIGHT of Romance…but yet also a LIE.) He’s a sweet guy, who has a dream, but he just again, isn’t for me…and you can’t DEMAND that i be yours. I’m a Glamour Puss, with a spirit of ‘Ooh,’ i need freedom in relationships, with a large dose of togetherness…its bizarre. I think, if you don’t FORCE me into togetherness, then i’ll come a running. I’m affection, don’t get me wrong, i mean i’m full of the ‘Kitty Play Play.’ I just need romance and love and deliciousness. Not, ‘Our jobs match!’ (What so you get ya knockers out too on a website?) ‘We’re togther!’ (No we’re not!) Followed up with an ‘I’ve READ you like a book!’ This is the most common line a boy will use on me. I don’t know why? As soon as they say it, i know they don’t know me. I then asked him what he ‘read‘ about me? He said, ‘ You’re just a bimbo and i like that!’ Hmm…? Lol. Saying that, i do enjoy the art of Bimbo-ing simply because you are let off responsibilities like ‘thinking‘ and and ‘making right choices.’ Hahaha! You get to live your life like a ‘Carry on’ series. It’s a delicious bubbly madness…but like i said,…it’s an art! 😉
It’s odd to me because they’re are guys that see me for who i really am. Guys that are sold into a fantasy. Men who enjoy the way look, yet despise me having a playful personality and Men who simply just want to get to know me. I’m not complaining, as it’s been the story of my life for donkeys years and i love it. All i’m saying is, i will know when the right guy shows himself (oh-er) to me, because i believe he will have been through the same.
Oh and girls (once again) be really careful if you’re sleeping with Boys, (celeb ones or not) who are asking to take your picture mid-blowjob. They forward thoses pictures around. I have recently seen a willy of one of my celeb guy friends, on a phone, with multiple heads on top of it, (like his willy has an ‘opened mouth girls head’ hat on. same willy…differnt hat.) Be warned! I mean we all do it. I sure as hell have, back in the day, especially as a kid in Hollywood, ( i love how i try to blame Hollywood for everything) when i trying to be sexy, when really i was just being a slag. Infact no…i just wanted the boy to think i was sexy…i was young.
Unfortunately for me….HAHA…as always, that picture got passed around the whole of West Hollywood, (sooo Gossip Girl, i know) and i had to walk into every bar knowing that everyone had seen that lovely little blow job pic of me. I mean now it’s funny…but at the time, it was mildy uncomfortable. (Notice how the boy never has HIS face in it…it’s always yours!) Hahahah! I learnt the hard way. Proceed with caution. Let them love you for you…and if they don’t…*strut off,* merrily. (To be honest, that blowjob pic worked in my favour. It became something that i managed to laugh off and add to my reputation of ‘Play.’ All i did, was look at it in a bar, laugh, admitted the truth and said i was TRAGIC.’ It’s okay to made mistakes…as long as you kinda notice.)