It’s been a day of getting the ‘love’ from the ‘boys.’ I’m feeling AMAZING today. I intended to have a day of pussy cat chillax much, however, my day (as always) turned into
‘hey i know, why don’t you work!’ I had a being of ‘eww’ tell me that i ‘didn’t do much, if anything,’ and my answer to that is ‘yes, because i’m lucky.‘ But lets look back at the ‘not doing much,’ thing, because, i thought i had been a model (which is a properly paying job) for years and years and years…I acted, in LA and loved it. (That’s work.) I’m a blogger. I get paid to show up places. I did a 7 episode reality tv stint, i do interviews around the world to inspire and i have a cosmetics line, two books, a fragrance and more tv to come, on it’s way this year alone? Therefore surely that’s doing quite a lot? (I’ve noticed the only people that go on about the ‘u don’t do anything’ and hate on people, are the ones that aren’t doing well themselves. It’s never the ones that are happy with their life.) However, saying that I LOVE my life, and i enjoy being me. My actual reply was ‘I do life,‘ and i don’t really have to justify it. I’m one of those girls that just got lucky from living her life and writing about it. I treasure life. It’s the only ‘thing’ and the most important ‘thing’ we all have. I’m doing it ..i am…i am…and therefore specializing in the most precious gift in all of the world, therefore i concentrate on it, and ditch all negative bitty drama, that litters it. It’s a great deal harder than people think. (Hence all the drinking and winking.) But are you doing everything you ever wanted? I hope so…because i am and i feel AMAZNG! *Hair toss-strut* So you might aswell lay off, because it’s gonna take a lot more than that to get this kitty down. *Fans herself.* I enjoy how people say whatever they want to me, not thinking that i’ll say anything back. Now, i’m a playful fun time girl. I focus on ‘happy-wiggles and winking’ more than anything. But I BITE back and when i do…all of a sudden the ‘stranger’ can’t take what they’ve dished out. Make sure if you’re ‘spitting junk,’ that you can take it, when a few honest ‘spits of junk’ come a boomeranging back at you. 🙂 Lovely weather.
Anyway on a fruitier note, it’s been (like i mentioned earlier) a day of ‘the boys.’ Today i’ve been woo’d by a baker, who described hot cross buns to get into my panties. (I forgot to tell you that on the night of the Champagne party…i wore two pairs of knickers.) I enjoy dessert, it’s like dirty talk to me. However, when i told him, he went to town on all the magical things he could bake. ‘ *jizzes everywhere.* lol) I love bakers because they’re always jolly looking and smeared in icing and i like that he made the effort to (‘I can do cheescake, brownies, caramel…. ‘woo’ me. However, i did tell him that until he could turn puff pastry into swans, he would never be considered as the next Mr.Wunna (hyphen) Whatever his last name is. 🙂
Next came a hot, modelly, big, tanned and buffed shirtless boy. For me this gentleman, is already a no go, due to the fact that he used to date a good friend of mine. Long story short, he believes that him and I should ‘BREED immediately.’ When asked why? (Because as much as i am sensual…i do believe that pointless sex is messy and i have far too good a weave for it to get balls up, over a pointless *thrust.* I don’t want cum in it. I don’t care how many sit ups you can do.) Anyway, he responded with a ‘well i’m hot, you’re hot, therefore it would be a definite waste of hottness, if we didn’t.’ True. Who knew he’d have all those brains, with that braun. 🙂
THEN, i had a boy who went to school with me (there’s loads of them here in Yorkshire. I meeting people who have known me for 10 whole years, instead of 7 one hour episodes, whilst i was making a fool out of myself, for entertainment on the telly.) I do like the boys that have known me for years. They are at an advantage. They are much nicer to me than most. Anyway, this boy couldn’t really believe how well i had grown and promised me he was ‘special,‘ and yes he needed me to satisfy his ‘special needs.’ After a *giggle* i looked at my future of teaching him the alphabet and how to NOT lick windows, and went with ‘funny, but not that funny.’ But saying that, after i told him about teaching him the alphabet, he gleefully responded with a ‘GREAT, that’s just what i had in mind!‘ (I logged off….mentally. lol.)
After that, a couple boys from Bali wanted a go, i guy told me to meet me at 6pm for our wedding tonight, another asked if i liked ‘black willy,’ and finally a geezer geezer, told me i had passed some random ‘test of love.’ Test? I didn’t even know i was part of one?? Then one of my ex boyfriends, who was the Ralph Lauren underwear model in LA, inboxed me with a ‘Glad that ur single…i miss you baby!‘ (He’s ‘in a relationship,’ and a really good friend of mine.) I changed my Facebook relationship status to ‘single’ to remind potential suitors, and so i’d get loads of Attention. Woohoo! I’m Chrissie Wunna and having a lot of fun. *Batters eyelids.*
On a more serious boy note…the ‘ Lovely‘ that i passionately kissed in the back of a taxi, all the way home from Leeds the other night, who i also went to school with. ( I knew him when he was 11..and i was 17 and he would write me love letters and i would walk around lawns with him at a Quaker boarding school, during breaks. Lol.) Well he text me this morning, (I like that he’s attentive,) with a ‘Hope you had a gr8 weekend darling, and not forgotten too much of it. 🙂 Hope to see you again!’
The *blip* of the text actually woke me up…which i like, because you start the day with a smile. Now, he’s quite shy an di’m quite forward, therefore i figured, i’d respond with a ‘Don’t worry, i completely remember the [his name here] bits of my night. 🙂 Let’s arrange a meet up. He agreed..and well hopefully we’ll go for a little ‘get to know each other better’ drink this week. Wazza (my best friend) likes this choice of boy very much, to the point where his enthusiasm for him is creepy. Yet, he warned me not to bother messing it up, because he would be a GREAT guy for me. (Aww.) I do like when Wazza gives me love life advice…since ten minutes afterward he was blabbing on about how he was going to date an Eskimo, live in a igloo, a Norwegian girl, or one from Iceland who was cold and mental. (This this the man who runs my site!!!) He’s oddly and creepily happy today? It confuses. I’m the ‘Happy‘ one and he’s meant to shatter all my dreams and ridicule my whole entire existance. But whatever, i love it when everyone in Wunnaland is joyous…even without the use of pills, force or violence.
I’m excited to see this new boy again…because we left it ‘raunchy,‘ like i could’ve just got to the ‘rumpy’ in the taxi. He got me that heated and i have no idea how??? (Answer: Booze?) Hopefully, it will all go smoothly and he’ll be lovely and i’ll have another story to tell…which won’t end in drinking myself into a stuper, then crying myself to sleep. He grew up hot. Well done him..and he’s just text me with a ‘Been thinking about you sexy. How about Tuesday?’ Isn’t that tomorrow? I am gonna have to panic tan?
Life is perfectly delicious right now. I’m truely happy and being extremely positive. (Even though i’m being nagged by fellows, who wrongly believe they control my blog. It’s mine, ALL mine. Goddamit! *Grabs everything in sight, ferociously, at the speed of light!! *If you want one….WRITE ONE! It’s about the story of MY life…innit! *Applaud here*) I have my poor baby kitten on my knee called ‘Lucky Boo.’ He’s got the flu and is snotting on my crotch. 🙂 Oh the life of a Glamour Puss.
Oh and i’m Chrissie Wunna….Join Me. x