Shopping, Knives & a wee bit of bicker

What an eventful weekend. I had so much planned thoday that i’ve simply had to spaz off, due to not being able to move my legs. What makes it worse is the fact that it was PAMERING that i had to reorganize. UGH! I need to get my priorities straight. Today i planned to giggle in spray tan galore, have  a kitty cat red mani/pedi, then have the hair dollified so that i can forever remain the pussy queen. Insated, i laid in bed, without working legs, after a night time 1.23am phone conversation with Loverboy, that pretty much went along the lines of me being bored, (carrying around a baby in your belly…when you’re used to so much action…is *snooze-fest*)..therefore in great Chrissie Wunna style, i picked on him, until i drove him insane! Yipppeee!

We were on the phone for ages, and after driving him completely nuts…after an hour of banter at HIS expense, i laughed and with an ‘i love you’ said, ‘oh forget about that whole conversation…i was just bored. I love you.’ 🙂 Welcome to my world. If i don’t have constant excitement…i will make my OWN! I didn’t really make him too mad. When i tell him i love him, he melts and the rainbows glide across his dream land. he thinks i’m just confused because it’s been 6 months and i’m still with the same boy. By now, i’m used to waking up to a different face. This whole relationship theory is waay confusing? Same face…forever and forever? Every month i get an itchy feeling in my crotch, which tells me it’s time to move on!  I do feel a bit bad now, because i did go to town on him with my lovely delicious, ANNOYING, ways! But ah well, he shouldn’t have said i bad with money. Erm bad with money?? Heelllo?? Do i have loads of savings, or was let my ex girlfriend control my complete accounts, so that she could steal from me and make max me out? I rest my case! 🙂

The good thing about Loverboy and I, is that we are never REALLY mad at each other. If we argue, it’s usually my fault and kind of usually because i’m bored. *Wink-Pout.* I get like this once a month. It’s kind of like having the PMS but without actually having to vagina bleed. It’s ACE!!

So yesterday, was spent with my gorgeous family..made up of a mum, a dad and a little brother. Add slanted eyes, olive skin, and unconditional love…and you have the Wunnas. We went to Meadowhall, in Sheffield, for a bit of lunch and shopperooey! Now, before my preggo time, i could SHOP like a demon. I could fly through a mall, like a hungry ‘please pay her’ cookie monster of glamour. These days…after about 2 hours…i’m knackered and having arguments over who ate my burrito. (I was in Chilango…throwing a wobbly, because my brother ate my specifically constructed burrito.) My Mother hates to see me shed tears (yes, i almost cried…:) ) Therefore in order to make it all better, she sis what all Wunnas do and that was give my brother a handful of cash and tell him to ‘go that way.’ Then hand in hand walk my sorry ass to Debenhams, to the ever so beautiful MAC makeup area to buy me lipstick and bronzer.

It actually worked! I AM that shallow! It immediately perked me up! Beautiful things do! I chose the ‘Tanarmama,’ lipshade and ofcourse, i can’t buy cosmetics on my own…my Mother chose the ‘Fresh Brew.’ We threw in a deep dark bronzer and shimmied on over to absorb the loveliness of Debenhmans. (I love my ‘Tanarama’ lip colour so much, that i actually woke up this morning with it in my hand, still in it’s solid, clean, special black box. When you are waking up with lipshades in your hand, instead of a penis…you are 100% a Glamour Puss.

Shopping was GREATNESS, we tottered around for hours and spent all our fine earned pences of ‘ooh laa.’ When i say hours, i do mean hours AND hours. There are only three places in this whole entire world, that i know like the back of my hand and that’s Disney Land, Florida, West Hollywood and Meadowhall.

Met loads of you yesterday, mid-shop. I loved every one of you…waved and wiggled at the majority. However, for ever smiley happy chica that spooted me, there was a hungry eyed pervy, licking his lips at my boobies! This happened so much (and i’m not joking when i say almost 42 times) that even my own ego began to feel mildy uncomfortable. My Mother and i had to actually hide in ‘New look’ and buy ourselves four unrevealing dresses each, in order to make ourselves feel better! We got 2 of them off the sale rack and let me tell you i’m no afraid to admit that i LOVE a bargin! Especially if it comes in boy form. My previous boyfriends have been rather expensive. (I need to stop dating broke ass losers.)

I don’t know what it is about me that men enjoy? I know that i visually play to their desire, with the boobies, big eyes, pouty lips etc…but to this day, i truely have no idea what it is, that they fancy about me? Be they young, be they old…they’re on it. Maybe it’s the way i present myself…confidentally and with ‘ooh?’ Or maybe it really just IS my tits?

I guess i’m proving that presentation is everything. To make an exact first impression, how one presents themselves is how they will be percieved and because they don’t really know you. Be it a brief encounter…a meeting, a greeting, or drink…how you present yourself will determine how you are treated and how you are regarded. This can backfire onpeople though…and mainly boys! I mean, it is just a FIRST impression stage, that your presentaion will fool. Once someone actually gets to know you better…they can see behind the mask, or the eyes, under the shirt and into your insecurities. You can’t Tom Foolery your wau around a smart being for bery long, without your true self leaking out and staining.

I mean, we’ve all been with a boy that has pretended he is something he’s not. Y’know, either really loving and romantic, or really rich, or even really player like or dumb. So we’ve gone for them, for whatever reason we needed to at the time and found out that that’s only really how they initially wanted to be percieved by didn’t express who they truely were AT ALL! It was a lie. We can’t be too mad at them though…(Can WE…*anger face*)…as they onyl did it because they believed we wouldn’t love them for who they truely are. Helllo insecurity…you are a bitch!

How have i fricking got on to this? I meant to be talking about my usual superficial dribble…shopping, shoes, boys and glitter. But anyway to the Meadowhall security gurad that asked me if i ‘was off the telly’..( i believe you’re name was Pete.) I love you! And to the lovelies that randomly shouted the name ‘Chrissie’ in the food court, to see if i would respond…how sexy of you. You are delicious! Funny tooo, as i was just commebting on the girl in thr groups hair to my Mother…and how bold she was and sassy, before they shouting my name, over my chicken supreme pizza. (‘Hi i’m Chrissie and i’m MASSIVE! ‘) I don’t want everyone to think that i have a beer belly…like my belly really IS filled with baby right now. However, around these parts…some bellies on girls are questionable. 🙂

So yesterday,whilst we’re having a good old shop, my mum decides she’s gonna buy Pete a gift. I have a giving Mother. She’s welcomed him into our family whole heartedly, so now when she’s out and about, she wants to buy him things. Soo…what do you think a future mother in law, would buy for her ‘maybe one day’ son? Socks? Booze? Clothes? Aftershave?? Oh noooo…not my Mother of deliciousness…she watches a live demonstration in the kitchen ware department at Debenhams and buys him a KNIFE!! Not just any knife…but the ‘World’ Sharpest Knife!!’ (Lord help me!) If you saw me at the demonstration, i do apologise if i was rude. I just get really embarassed if the ‘display man’ uses me as a volunteer, so i have to hide behind larger set women and bundles of children. Plus, they guy was a bit pervy. He kept saying the word ‘Juicer’ and staring at my boobs?

So yea, my Mum’s bought pete a big KNIFE! I meanl what does that say about me! (‘Hi darling, I know you’re having to have a child with my daughter…so here are a few essentials, that will hekp you through the years… Man-sized tissues, self help books…oh and a big KNIFE! Sharpest in the world, they say!!’) [Just add swearing here.]

By the time shopping was over, (it had been hours) i couldn’t move my whole entire body due to exhaustion. I got home and had to have a little lie down. LOL I’m like a granny. Then i watched movies all night that made me question myself…which made me pick up my land line & annoy Loverboy. Shit happens. But love is all you need!





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