Shopped, groomed and nervous

I’ve actually had a delcious day. I woke up, welcomed nausea with a smile on my face, felt mildy rough, then shoved my pretty self into life rather ungracefully, in order to shop! I enjoy how i now need an incentive in order to actually wake up. #slipperyslope. I need an enabling factor to simply motivate the opening of my eyes! This whole bun in the oven thing, has exhausted my system. I used to really love buns too!

Got to Doncaster, feeling like i was probably going to HAVE to be sick during the car journey, sang along to Boyzones’ Greatest hits, (My Brother and I) did ‘Words’ like champions, then deep breathed as i re-did up my jean top button, shook the sickness of, and got to a shopping! On the hunt list…Jeans, i could actually fit in to! I’m over all thsi skinny crap. I have Kardashian thighs. These chunks of finger licking goodness, need denim shappage!

It really was the best time ever much! It’s funny how shopping can really perk you up! I never shop on an empty stomach, even when ill, it makes you make foolish decisions. So i grabbed a quick hot and sour soup, with my Mother, at the Frenchgate Center food court…hair-tossed, winked, pretended i felt fine and got my *shop* ON! I am soo glad my family are back. I don’t feel like a lost jigsaw piece anymore. I’m all ‘whole’ baby and beaming. I’m unstoppable. *Sizzle.*

I met sooo many of you today! I did indeed! I do love meeting people, because it makes me feel all show-offy and egotisical. 🙂 Yet i will say, whenever, i look DIVINE..no-one will talk to me. Everyone will ignore me, or simply look at me with a frown, or ask me if they know me from somewhere? When i look rough…well more *feel* rough…( if i’m being honest, i wasn’t too hard on the merry old eyes, EVERYONE stops me and wants a picture. Typical! I’m going down in history looking like i own an spring roll cart in Soho.

 I pretty much looked and felt like a washed up floozey today, filled to the brim with morning sickness, which i lied about and said was ‘hungoverness.’ (You know you’ve lost yourself, when you’re actually trying to be cool.) It was one of those days when you just KNOW you have far too much bronzer on your face, but you’ve pathetically just had to dust it there, in order to keep up a reputation and make you look half alive. That was me! Infact, I don’t think i have done more pictures with people and fans, than i have today.. in my life… EVER!!! It was great! I looked hideious. I don’t even think my eyes were open on some of them!

My favourite picture takers today were a group of teenage girls. Beautiful they were…Proper future glamour pusses! I had sauntered into Boots, after seeing Jonny Shentall, and his wife Lisa Scott Lee (From Steps) in the elevator, with their children. Jonny and i used to competed against each other in Yorkshire dancing competitions, along side the likes of Sheridan Smith, Kelly Harrison…and well there’s loads more. I once did a tap dancing competition against Sheridan Smith. Infact, i did a few. She used to have this song and dance routine to ‘The Red Red robin.’ I did mine to ‘Ball in the jack.’ We’d dance, she’d win…but one time i beat her and i felt like Rocky Balboa! I think i was about 7 and i had put a pelvic roll into my routine to *wow* the judge. I performed my pelvic roll which such passion, with eyes that suggested paedophillia and a mouth that looked like i was licking ten doughnuts all at once. My mother looked mildy disturbed, rememeber i’m a little girl from a little private school. But I won and i kept winning. Lesson one learnt. Use my sexual attributes to initially to get ahead! *Presses memory button….at 7 years of age.*

Anyway, i’m getting side tracked…as i strutted into Boots today, (well it hardly a strut, more a darg, because i was ill,) i noticed a group of 4 or 5 teenage girls, spot me, as i was by the hair dye…looking for a facial scrub. (We all need one!) I heard them gleefully whisper and then giggle. ( I love the giggling.) So i escalated it upstairs…pretending i didn’t see them, (haha..) only to get side tracked by the Fake bake instant bronzing isle. I’m in need of a tan!

Anyway, whilst i was gandering for the perfect spray of orange…peeking at me, through the bottles and spray cans on the other side where these young teenage girls. They were in the ‘is that really her’ stage. I immediately thought i’d better pick out a decent spray tan, because firstly, i need to teach them how to be future Glamour Pussy Wunnas and secondly…i didn’t want to look cheap. 🙂 *Eyes shift straight to the St.Tropez and the Fake Bake.*

Within seconds of confirmation, one of the girls creeped up too me all cute and smiley. All beautiful, polite but shy! She quietly said, ‘May i have a picture?’ I replied with a big Wunna smile and ‘OMG ofcourse yeah…’ *Hair-tosses-places down the spray tan.* Then three or four other girls galloped from behind the corner, with camera phones a ready, amazing hair and perfect tans. We all squidged in and i told them how delicious they were. I loved them for being brave! They also managed to tell me i was ‘pretty,’ which obviously scores you major points with me. Flattery gets you EVERYWHERE! I wish i chatted to them for a bit longer now, yet i never know what to say? Gorgeous girls though! Boots had a few future heartbreaker on board today!

Then i left, after getting mildy molested by boys, who fancied a bit of my ‘pork dumpling.’ I did end up gerting the spray tan, because i figured i might aswell give myself a happy zap of *orange* before my big day tomorrow with the publisher. I’m a bit nervous for that now…The nerves isn’t due to the book and more due to the fact that tomorrow i’ll find out everything that’s going on. I’m used to things falling by the wayside at the last minute, so i’m crossing fingers and toes, and hoping for the best! I sign papers tomorrow, and  I guess that will mean i have a book out at Christmas? I’ll tell you more about it, once i know all the nitty gritty! Great new though! Big day tomorrow!

Infact, i’m also nervous because i don’t want to wake up and feel sick, like i did this morning. I’m quite good when i have a job to do. I’m a get it done and dusted girl, no matter what, rather than a moaner. (That’s even in the bedroom.) Hopefully, i’ll feel fresh, chipper and the day will go to plan!

I’ve got a lot of grooming to get through tonight, simply for that meeting. Sometimes it’s hard beign a Glamour puss. The grooming never ends! You have to start a day early. (Ooh i’ve just found cherries and midget gems.) Life couldn’t be any better!

Oh i actually remembered to buy a lottery ticket today at Morrisons for the rollover jackpot on Wednesday. (Mmmmkay!) I’m winning it because i’d find it far too funny! As i walked out of the supermarket, my cute little mummy said, ‘If you win £10 million, you’re giving me £1 million!) I think she deserves it…i mean that’s the lady that had to squeeze me of out her *hoonie.* Not fun!

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