Oh my God! It felt soooo good to just LAY IN this morning and not have to doll up, rush out, jump in a cab, and whop on a early morning train to London this morning, where i would be sat in my beige faux fur, wedged between the ‘laptop’ men at a table for 4, that really can only feel comfortable when there’s…well…just ME at it. 🙂 My weave and faux fur take up two seats on their own, let alone my ego and then ofcourse my booty. (Which isn’t really big, due to obvious Asian roots. I have a little bum that now just looks like it fell a little.)
I peacefully laid wrapped inbetween my chocolate sheets, with my Baby Ruby laid right by me, fast asleep, with her sleep ‘rave’ arms ‘yippeeing’ dream land. I’m loving every inch of being my mummy. I’m not gonna lie, i’ve always found it hard because i’ve always had so much going on (and to all new mums that’s nothing to be embarrassed about. It’s not easy at all. The love part is..yes. But the madness of raising a ‘baby-baby-wee-one’ correctly is can be stressful.) However, now i’m finding it so much easier and well having a loving, chatty bit of fruit loin,who is currently the happiest baby in all the land (she giggles at the most random things that make no sense to anyone but her, like a drunk, but cuter and far less…elderly.) Along with my folks, with a handsome dollop of Keiran, Ruby is the most satisfying thing my world could’ve ever given me. When i look at her, i feel whole and that wholeness is the one feeling that keeps every moment of my life alive with a juicy squeeze of all things positive.
Anyhow, even though i say ‘lay in’ i was awake by around 6.30am. Keiran’s been sleeping on the sofa, because Ruby’s decided to kick him out of bed. (She’s learning early.) I pricked open one little asian eye this morning and there he was, standing over us, just watching us sleep. I’m a light sleepy. I can always feel someone in the room. He sat down and smothered me in lovely cuddles and kisses and wished me a good day. (He as early morning work right now. I have early morning, travel far- work, where i’m constantly trying to not be knackered and with too much eyeliner on, over the knee socks and tan. I Tweeted yesterday that i felt like a bouji gypsy. Over the last two days life has been travel, travel, wait, wait, travel, run, rush, travel, film, meeting, wait, wait, travel, re-gloss, wine…travel.) I only like the wine part of that little predicament. I don’t even love the re-gloss part. It’s the WAITING. It ruins everything and sucks the life out of you. Kills your soul..makes you have to sit near stag do’s at train stations. #awful
Okay, so Wednesday I was filming and filming with a lovely bunch of girls who i’ve gotten to know quite well over the months. I’m close to some more than others, but on the whole.. get on with them all…like we don’t see each other enough to really fight with one another. I was on a train by 8.27am, which was a 7.30am taxi ride, which was a 6.30am shower, groom prep time..and a very wonderful (because i am grateful for all that i’m doing) yet loooong day.) It gets really long.
Once i’m there i’m loving it, but the getting there and the having to get back is heartbreaking. I wore an outfit that Keiran loved, but was quite obviously just me trying to hold onto my youth. It was all woolly little skirt, knee high shoes, wedges and tight jumper with a wiggle and diamantes. I rocked it like a champion though and well i actually feel like a lot was achieved that day. (Again, can’t tell you anything about it, but yeah…anytime you look up and you see people applauding you’re accidental genius, you kinda just have to go with it and celebrate. 🙂 Loved it.) I hate far too many carbs that day and was not only told by the dearest darling Fran thst she is now a cheerleader, but found that my blond friend Kim, (who you can’t help but adore) thinks that ‘the internet’ is a country. 🙂 (‘Yeah, but is he from the UK Kim?/ Nooo…babe…he’s from the internet!!!’)
Wednesday was great. I feel so well looked after and when you’re looked after well, you perform better, be it at work, in a relationship or just internally within yourself. You can spot a broken person a mile off and it’s always because they haven’t been handled with the good old bouji kitten gloves. This year has been a great year for me. Saying that i did end up in the end taking 6 taxi rides, 2 tubes, 4 trains and having to make my legs totter that day, which wasn’t fun. Especially, because when i got in my usually lovely hubby was evil to me, by refusing to smooch me. That night, i went to bed early. But to be honest, i needed it.
I was up at 5am the next morning, grooming, tanning and getting ready to get travel to Doncaster for another early morning train to London, to meet with my new agent. I missed my train. Got on the next. Rested all the way there and read all about Justin Lee Collins in the Metro. I mean, what a weirdo. What a broken, insecure man. If you don’t know what he did, he slapped, spat on and shoved his girlfriend around their home, whilst calling her names, like ‘slag, whore and tramp,’ and then threatened to not only really beat her, but also kill her if she said anything to anyone. Who raised that man? He’s meant to be a happy, go lucky, comedian. Not another insecure male, who needs to feel powerful. The good thing is that he’s in court for it now and well that a big ‘bye-bye’ to his popularity. I don’t know why men find it so hard to treat women correctly. Acts like that simply show us women how much stronger we are than men and how internally weak they actually are. They are the most insecure species going. (Not all of you, as obviously the decent ones of you don’t slap on, spit on and shove their women. The one they’ve actually chosen to love. The good guys are the guys that matter. 🙂 ) He also made her write out every single one of her past sexual experiences, so he could hear it, see it and then beat her, whilst calling her names AND he used to make her sleep facing him and if she fell asleep before him he would see red and turn on her again. I actually cried on the train whilst reading it. It made me that sad. I don’t know what happened, but my whole entire body just filled up with emotion. Then i checked on Twitter and saw all the hate mail he was getting and it made me feel better and simply because the good citizens of the world were fighting their case on how decent men should behave.
Anyway, away from all that…arrived in London, it was a sunny, happy day. I had an easy journey, i good journey and got to my meeting 10 minutes early as i *buzzed* into the building and tottered up a few flights of stairs to see the agents.
It was all done and dusted. Loved it, loved them. Bantered a lot about reality tv stars, added a bit of wit, a bit of ‘ooh’ and bit of ‘aaah.’ Pouted for a camera and after half an hour, an exchange of details, money a giant book, i left with my faux fur and a smile, and tottered back to Kings Cross, where i sushied, had a wine and waited for two hours until my 13.48 train decided to arrive.
Great journey home because my train was empty AND i met an elf. (Well a girl who has elfism. She was the tiniest little thing i had ever seen, but there was so much love in her eyes. Her mum cuddled and fawned over her and i watched, waved and giggled with her, as i train charged my mobile. (It’s rubbish right now and dies whenever it can.)
Arrived in Doncaster, had a sneaky champagne (baby sized, tucked in my hand bag,) my lovely mum picked me up from the station and then we immeidately went to do the nursery run, as my little asian heart ACHED for Baby Ruby all day!! I loved seeing her.
Today, i’m resting, recouping and needing a massage. I’m in the mood for a date night, or a a good clean-fun, family dinner. I’m working online, and going to enjoy my weekend thoroughly. I need my weave tightening. i need my nails doing. I’m loving married life and i watched the USA Xfactor last night, with Keiran on the sofa, with my baby sized champagne. I adore Britney Spears. I always have, even when she went through that crazy bald stage.
I’m hungry now, so i’m gonna have to dolly off and try and find some food to cook up for a bit of lunchy-lunchy. My arms hurt from typing even. UGH! And i’m trying to keep healthy. when you get old the resting part of life becomes really important. I’m loving how stable life is right now. I have a wonderful husband and perfect daughter. When you have that, it makes work more of a pleasure, because what you come home to is ‘worth it.’ Even though iwe’re not in the place where we wish to be, we’re really happy and grateful for what we do have. We’re getting there and working hard on it all.
Love you, See you, Wiggles x
ps, I’m not quite sure where my period has gone, but i’m sure it’s on it’s way shortly. I have seemed to have lost it somewhere, which is mighty unfortunate because really having a period during the month is a must, as it’s the only excuse we women have for our awful behaviour before it comes. Now, i just look like i’m awful. When really, i swear…it was my period. Maybe, it’s squashed in the gritty part of my sofa, with a few 10p’s and biscuit crumbs? I’ll go have a look….