Remember My Name…

Had an amazing day and now popping open a bottle of red and whilst i leave it to breathe (we all need to) I’m deciding to tell you all about my deliciously tragic life. I’ve been awful today. An absolute properly ‘ooh laa’ mound of sexy nuisance. I’ve enjoyed failing to listen to anyone. (It’s a merry talent of mine.) I’ve been ballsy, i’ve been stubborn and been mildly stalkerish. I’ve read far too much into things. Yet  now, after a lot of ‘UMPH,’ a lot of not really listenning to what anyone else says and doing what i believe is right, i’m in the stage of being able to look in the mirror, relax and laugh it off like a slanted eyed champion. I feel like I had a moment of weakness. A moment of ‘soft.’ It happens. But now, i’m back in the game. I’m carefree and being a Wunna, the only way i know how…..DRUNK!

I’ve been trying to pay my bills on the phone all day today. I tried the other day, yet meetings got the better of me. It’s odd because the perky ‘other end of the phone,’ will greet me with their ‘company name,’ followed by asking me my name and D.O.B. Then after approximately 2.4 minutes, they will actually RECOGNIZE me from my VOICE! I had a darling literally ask mid ‘How much do i owe,’ in query whether i had done any ‘telly work.’ (Usually it’s your mothers maiden name, i’m sure?) I do the ‘yeah.‘ (I get straight in there. I’m not shy!) They do the ‘Which show?‘ I do the ‘Paris Hilton’s one.’ They do the ‘OMG!!!! OMG!!!! Chrissie!!! I LOVED YOU ON THAT!!!’ Then they forget that i owe them money. They thoroughly massage my ego…which we all know i delight in. Then they ask me questions about my life! Three different times! Three different companies. It seriously went from ‘Can i have your account number…?‘ To…‘Omg, what happened with Jonny? Was the break up really hard? Who are you dating now?? I read your blog! Ooh can i just get ya Mothers maiden name?’ I do enjoy it. Yet, i’m always rather embarrassed if i’m heavily past due on anything.

On the whole i’ve had a wonderful day. I’ve been looking through the templates for my cosmetics line. We’re beginning with 62 products for my girls and gays! I’m wanting to do a picture book, full of what I think is ‘glamourous,‘ pictures of me. It’s hard to get photographers to understand. I’m very hands on with the way i look or how i like to look or shoot. Agreeable though. I mean, I let them do their job. I just enjoy the creativity of it all. I don’t know what works, but i know what works for Me and i won’t have it any other way. I want my pictures to mirror my life and tell a story. Their job is to capture it. Focus on the ‘moment’ and not on the nudity. They forget to. Annoying.

I’ve had a few problems recently with photographers. It seems that as i’m getting more popular…(heaven knows how i’m pulling it out my arse?) More of them are more wanting to shoot me, simply to maybe get the chance to date me or have me naked infront of them. RATHER then wanting to get GREAT pictures. It annoys me  greatly, because i love my job, my world, my life and i feel like they disrespect Me AND it. I now own my image, therefore they can longer take pictures of me (especially in the buff or topless) without the signing of contracts, unless they pay the ‘dollar dollar.’ I had a conversation with one gentleman, (who has annoyed me,) a photographer who wanted to shoot me, who straight up TOLD me that he wanted to ‘see what would happen with us’ romantically. Erm…? It made me feel uncomfortable, because instead of being excited about the shoot, he was more excited about cooking me dinner. You never want me to feel uncomfortable, because i will rebel. I told him i wasn’t going to be shooting topless or naked with him FOR FREE, in any hotel room, anywhere. For me, it’s not just about the perviness and also down to the fact that i don’t want them to sell the images, without me getting my cut. He immediately got upset. And (what a surprise) i never heard from him again…. BECAREFUL girls. It was a shame too, as his work was good. However his talent of ‘working it,’ was far from superior.

I actually believe he mistook my friendliness for flirtation. A lot of men do that. It’s weird. I’ll say ‘HI’ and they’ll immediately translate it into ‘OMG…she wants me!!’ Then they’re abusive towards Me, if i don’t want to meet up with them. If i actually want a boy, or like a boy, then he WILL know about it. I’ll arrange to meet him, when he asks. I’ll do drinks with him. Infact I’ll make it CLEAR that i’m interested and i don’t do it often. I’ve had to become really really picky picky and i’m liking it better. I’m making good grown up choices now, and i’ve even surprised myself. (Oooh wines ready! I’ve been writing this whole blog, whilst eating a steak!)

On a funnier note, i’ve had a beautiful Lady who fancies other ladies, from Chile completely hit on me today. I think  she was at work, at her desk in It was cute. I was flattered. (I enjoy that i’m getting a bit of a lesbian fanbase now. I always though they didn’t like me? However, Wunna Wins the War again!!! *eats mouthful of steak- checks her sexuality.* I’ve also noticed how no-one wants me to find a man. Haha. Anytime i like a ‘handsome’ everyone battles in with a ‘Your better than that’ feist. I love it. I enjoy that i represent the ballsy, sexy, oh so terribly glamourous, independant, play girl. I’ve sold my soul, infact my heart to the world. I’m yours. But truely. It’s hilarious! However, i do need a little bit of romance in my life and i’m really am ready for a spell of it. (Wine! Wine! Wine! Now! Now! Now! Now!)

Wazza is 29 tomorrow, which i enjoy because he ridiculed me deeply for being OLD, when he’s finally caught me up. We had a conversation that went a bit like this:

‘What did you think about Rage Against the machine? That song that was Xmas number one?’ (Already weird, he never talks to me in a sensible, question like manner.)

‘Awful!’ (My response. I’m direct. It’s my best & worst quality.)

‘Brilliant! Coz i might have to sign you up and register you for a gig they have in London.’ (This is how it works at ChrissieWunna.Com. I don’t matter! LOL. I’m the FUCKING star!!!! ME! ME! ME! NOW! NOW! NOOOOW!!! )

God this weave is really hard to handle. It’s like having an overly mained horse…but on your head. It’s a lot to cope with. It’s like a fucking pet, but one you don’t like. I need mignons to tend to it…pronto.

7 thoughts on “Remember My Name…”

  1. You were so lucky registration was closed (although you still might get a drunken wazza turning up at your door asking to crash there or the night)

  2. Wazza how have you not invited me to go with you – selfish ARSE.

    I am seeing them at Download anyway, along with Aerosmith and AC/DC. But that isn’t the point.


  3. hahaha i was just deleting spam comments and I found this little section of Wazza abuse 🙂

    I couldn’t even be arsed trying to get myself a free ticket in the end!


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