Pregnancy Wraps, Rain & Dinner at ‘Souk’

Afternoon all. It’s pretty shit weather innit. I currently look like a drowned rat, with a pair of boobs to die for, after sprinting through Camden in fur boots, in the rain trying to find much needed shelter. I eventually gave up, (after about 2 minutes,) hailed a cabbie, who sprayed the whole inside of his cab for me with Febreeze because i was ‘a lady’ and ‘beautiful’ (Why thankyou sir) and returned back to where i came from, in one half dry piece. Woo-hoo! I’m Happy and oddly hugging a radiator!! I hate the rain. I hate it. It ruins hair, it ruins life, it ruins winking.

Anyway, i just got back from lunching with my sexy gay lover Samuel…aka the ‘British Best Friend’ of Miss.Hilton (who must be worth a trillion bucks,) and well i met him near his work at a venue we call ‘The Hippie Place’ for a ‘Pregnancy Wrap.’ OMG!!! I love the ‘Pregnancy Wrap’ and the people in that place are divine. It’s warm, it’s cosy, it’s in Camden and well the perfect place to lunch on a raining fucking day. I’ve heard Sammie talk about this place on Twitter on a daily…and well now I’ve been to!!! Fucking love it. Fucking Love Sam. I feel full. It’s odd how the Pregnancy Wrap makes you feel sexy full. Like you now how dangerous curvage. You should all go there.

We basically talked about Love and how we both fall ‘in love’ far too easily right now because we both want lovely boyfriends. We perved on a dreamy ‘hair stroking’ hottie. Discussed sex, LA, how we are going to be flying there for Halloween,  just so we can go to a club night at ‘Tiger Heat’ letting American people between the ages of 18-21 adore us (yes we are that tragic) and then we littered our sentences, and mouthfuls of ‘Pregnancy wrap’ with an occasional shoulder shimmie ‘yeah yeah,’ and a spy at pictures of Flics hot half naked boyfriend…who i intend to feel up. It has to be done. I can pretty much tell sammie anything and he’ll listen without judgement and vice versa. It’s a decent combination. We decided I need my own Tila Tequila type show and how you boys will all be tested by our sammie. TIGER HEAT! TIIIIGER HEAT! (Hahah…he’s just sent me a text stating that he is about to ‘cum everywhere.’)

Woke up this morning with ‘Lashes’ in my bed. He trotted by late last night after work, all reliable and in business attire. We drank Coronas, smoked Menthols, talked about all kinds of jiggery pokery and then fell asleep in my pink pink sheets, after he examined my boobs quite scientifically really and moaned about how he had to be up in a few short hours to get back to work at good old London Bridge and how he must have wardrobe space in my appartment. I love how EVERYONE wants wardrobe space in my little pink place. (Hahaha….that sounds a bit rudey.) Know that ‘I’ don’t even have fucking wardrobe space. But yeah…all the boys will eventually end up leaving clean shirts, socks and ties for tomorrow in a lonely allocated area..which will make me look like a dirty slag, who shags anything and believe me I AM NOT!!! I’m extremely- tremely NOT right now.  It’s quite disappointing really. lol. I want the love of my life goddamit. (Ugh, i just broke my nail and need to walk to the shop but can’t coz it’s still raining.)

Tonight I am doing dinner at ‘Souk’– don’t know whether you’ve heard about it, but it’s meant to be quite magical and morrocan, a place to be. I’ve never ever ventured there, but i’ve been assured it’s wonderful, unique and well completely romantic…therefore i’m taking Jonny. I take him everywhere. He owes me a kiss and a lifetime of eternal worshipping. What better place than ‘Souk’ to work that debt off. (Hahaha…) I hope it’s fun. So yeah i’ll be in Covent garden tonight, with a 7.30pm table. All of you should go to dinner there. I’m excited.

I really do need to take a nap and to dry my hair, therefore i shall love you and leave you for now my cherubs!