Bonfire night, even though it’s day…but i don’t care, it’s my favourite ‘smell’ of the year and my mission of the day is to get romantically kissed under fireworks, by a ‘Handsome’…ANY ‘Handsome’ just so i can say I did it. And since the whole entire night will be lit up my bitty, multi-coloured sprays of light, all i really need to do is stand under the actual sky to get smooched. How hard can it be? I mean, i might have to use the fucking ‘conversation & Hennessey’ approach…or kiss a tramp, but FUCK it…I’m IN!!! Penny for the guy? ( She scrambles on top of you, squeezes your face and forces you to make out with her, to the smell of gunpowder.) Infact, i don’t know why we associate fireworks with romance?? They’re fucking dangerous! They’ll blow your fucking eyes out, if you get too close. Aaah ‘love.’
If you’re not British, well today is Guy Fawkes night, Bonfire night. Basically some dude, set fire to the Houses of Parliment or whatever (never listened in class, who cares) and we pay homage to him (hahahah) by making dummy versions of this man, out of household rubbish, like newspaper and crap etc…Then we place him on top of a ferociously stunning BONFIRE and BURN him ALIVE. Then we all cheer, as fireworks are shot through the air to happy music. Nice touch. It’s the British way. Therefore tonight my pretties, no matter where you are in the world, ( I say this every year) you have my permission to set fire to ANYTHING. Just blame it on ‘Guy.’ Burn anything. Your house, your wife, yourself, your sex ? I actually think Wazza (manager of this site, aka best friend) once set fire to his sofa for no real reason. Infact, it might not have even been Nov 5th??? When i was a kid, my Mother would always take me to the fireworks display at the ‘Deaf school’ in Doncaster. Not sure why that humours me? Quite a good place to have it really…
Woke up to 543 inbox messages telling which one of the boys below i should date. I love how 2 of you (and one on Facebook) can just openly say, then 543 of you feel more comfortable ‘privately’ messaging Me. Very telling! Cracks me up! Anyway, not tell you which one, but i showed one of the boys the messages…(the one that did well….it’s good for the ego.) And what did that Prickola say,’ Hahah…fuck you (you already did that honey) If you start playing up, there’s 300 other girls here i can date.’ ( She swiftly deletes each message, whilst trying to distract him with boobies.) Even ‘Lashes‘ BBmed me at 3am this morning, whilst i was tucked up in bed, in the pitch pitch black, with a ‘ date the middle one.’ I love that my BlackBerry with was the only thing keeping my room a light. I rose, i looked, then i rolled over and went back to sleep, after a bit of a swear. ‘date the middle one’
Anyway, today i have lunch with my sexy bitchness Samuel (aka Paris Hiltons British bestie) again…if he remembers. he’ll probably cum everywhere in crazy gay spurts of excitement. We’re in Camden, so i’m going to annoy him at his place of work around 1pm, so we can food a little & have a good old gossip. I love that bitch!