Peace, Playground & Bank Holiday Weekends



Happy Bank Holiday, my licks of lippy candy sticks and macho macho mate fests! The sun has certainly got his hat out. I’m 9 months pregnant and in booty shorts. I’ve skipped shopping at Meadowhall today, after completely knackering myself out in Doncaster yesterday. I shopped, waddled and thundered through the stores and realized that you simply can’t do that and end up okay, when you’re about to hatch a human in a few days time. Luckily, I met my Caramel Frappacino craving at Starbuck. MMmm….! TO DIE FOR! When I gave my first name to the lovely serving me at the counter yesterday, he paused, had another look and said, ‘It’s is CHRISSIE WUNNA!’ I loved it, because along with having my weave tightened, it made me feel like the world was a safer place and that order had been restored on this Earth ball. Infact, a great deal more people recognized me yesterday, at 9 months pregnant, then they have in the last year! It was insane. Everywhere I it the coffee shop, the makeup counter, the hair shop, the pavement…the masses noticed a bit of ‘Wunna-Wunna.’ Maybe people associate me with being pregnant? Or maybe they just associate me with being fat? On the whole, i’m an attention seeker so I loved it. I only wished I was able to divinely glide and wave at people, instead of waddle and pout. But whatever, I’ve still got my wiggle and wink down..and what the fuck….i’m in booty shorts today remember,with a neon orange flower in my curly wurly ‘big’ do.

Keiran and his cousin Craig have spent the morning building a wendy house (macho) and are now venturing to the store to buy booze and barbequey delights. I’m wanting this bump to smack into labour so today and from now on, i’m gonna do all i can to wiggle him out..even if it means squatting..which would be a horrific sight in shorts, being this pregnant and especially because I couldn’t wear knickers because my arse is too ‘playground’ (as I like to call it.) A much cheery term than ‘FAT.’ I learnt it from ‘Real Housewives…Atlanta.’ Kandi had big thighs and she referred to it as having ‘far too much playground going on’ for the boys to play with. 🙂 It tickled my fancy, so like all genius talents…i stole it and took the credit.

So, i guess we’re having a barbeque here in Wunna land…even though we don’t own a barbeque. Yay! Rubes played in the garden all morning, with her magic lawn mower, cheap bubble machine. She’s now ventured off to Meadowhall with Grandma and the troops to shop her little Bank Holiday heart out. She spent the day at the park with Pete yesterday, so she deserved a bit of purchasing today.

Keiran said something lvoely to me last night, after I laid on the sofa, cried a little and stated that even though I wanted our little son out, I was scared to go through the pain of it all. Through dolly tears I held his hand and simply when there was no-one but us whispered, ‘I’m scared.’

He assured me that i didn’t have to be scared and that it would be worth it, even though he could never imagine how much pain it would be…yet he then knelt down next to me, with tears in his eyes, holding onto my hand as I laid on the sofa and he said, ‘You are my rock. If i’ve never told you that before, I just want you to know that you are. I loveyou being my wife.’

Awwwww!! I loved that, it sort of made me want to cry. It was like the part in ‘Troy’ (the movie) where Brad Pitt says, ‘In a lifetime of war, you were my peace,’ to the chick he had fallen for, or boning…or whatever, before he dies. I adore beign someone ‘peace’ and simply because yeah it’s romantic, but who the hell would’ve thought i’d EVER be able to be ANYONE’S bit of PEACE. I’m usually the reason why they’ve got their knickers in a twist.

This baby has made us stronger and our love for Rubes has grown sooo much because of it. We treasure our little ones always, but now it’s turned very hardcore. We are F–A–M–I–L–Y! (Sing it girl!) Everything just feels too perfect. I’m much better now. I mean 2 days ago I did have a weep because in my fear of labour, my head filled with negativity and I began to flashback all the terrible thing that we had gone through in our relationship. I wept for England, like a Princess. Keiran told me to not dwell on the past and concentrate on where we were in the present and the future, because no matter what we had made it to a good place. He looked upset that I had remembered all the rubbish times. I was upset that I had foolishly weeped my eyelashes off. Eww! Never a good look. He’s right though and that’s what is important in relationships, to always focus on the present and ever bring up the past bits that were a tad dodgy. You’ll never grow if you carry baggage. But it’s one of those things that people always tell us and that we always have to relearn. You hear it so much you ignore it.

But he then said, you need to see all that as more of an ‘education.’ That’s all it was ‘education.’ The art of learning. We’re in a tremendously great place now and well i can’t let the nerves of the labour get to me.

I’m relaxing today. I’m due to have a bambino in around 5 days I think? Or is it 4? May 31st, is my due date. My back kills but i’ve got a smile on my face and i’m ready to face the world, place my legs in those stirrups and start pushing the new arrival out shortly…without fear.

Hope you’re all having an ace Bank Holiday weekend. Hope you’re flirting with fun and dipping your pretty selves in cocktails.

Love you all! Thank you for following my life.


Ps, Oh shit, I forgot to tell you. Whilst I sat and had my weave tightened yesterday, I was sat next to what looked like a middle aged lady, who was apparently around 34, which would be sort of my age, i’m 32…but she looked like she was 44. Nice lady, but she had never gotten a weave before, she was having her hair highlightened and was telling me how excited she was to be getting extensions for the first time. I felt for her immediately because I know that when any woman is having her the whole *shabam* done for the first time…be it surgery, makeover, hair, new strut, new look…she has gone through some man troubles. It’s inevitable. I asked her why? She told me nothing. Then 10 minutes later she told me that she had just got divorced from the most controlling man ever, who was Italian. She met him when she was 19 and married him young. He mentally controlled and abused her by making her feel like he was a KING and she was a second rate citizen who was to do nothing but cook, clean, have sex with him when he wanted and look after the children. His Mother told her that that was her duty. It depressed her. She ate and ate, felt no self worth and slowly lost her identity.

Her daughter finally turned 18 and went to Uni, so she finally had the courage to leave him. (She always wanted to keep the family together, so stayed in the abusive marriage until her daughter was of age to be able to deal with separated parents.) For the first time yesterday she was getting her hair highlighted and extended. She had never ever done anything to her hair before and well she was wearing skin tight leggings and hells.

I loved it and told her how impressed I was with her because instead of her turning into a shrinking violet and crying into a gin with fear in her eyes on lonely nights, she instead chose to find her ‘Va Voom’ get her strut back on…and start a new chapter…which fabulous hair. 🙂

Women are the strongest beings ever! You keep you’re ‘Va Voom’ going always and you rock it like a Queen! I mean can you imagine a guy, be he an  Italian Stallion or whatever trying to tell me to not wear my FACE! What!?! I AM MY FACE! 🙂 I’d end up spitting on him in an eyeliner wrestle. Saying that, Keiran saw my naked eyes this morning and gave me a lecture on how much more he preferred it to my big smokey black eyes at 7am in the morning. 🙂

Apparently all the black eye shadow makes my eyes look sexy…yes…but ANGRY. (He actually growled.) He prefers the ‘less is more’ on my eyes simply because they look softer and more inviting, like he could see into my soul without there being a mask. I’m sure there’s a reason for my mask. #issuesmuch

Happy Bank Holiday!

C x

Leave a comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.