I’ve had about one hours sleep! Yippee!
Baby Ruby (oh she’s loving all your Tweets by the way…she pretends like she’s reading them with mummy, whilst doing ‘ ooh’ faces on my boobie) fooled me into believing that she was going to sleep through the whole night again. I quite cockily thought that this whole apparent ‘sleepless night’ malarky, was going to be a *wiggle,* a *wink* and a breeze. *Puts on nipple tassles- shimmies at you, before packing them right away until i no longer have milk dripping out the ends of my jubblies!*
Loverboy, slept through the whole of the jiggery pokery. LOL. I mean, bless him. He did TRY and do the night-time shift. He’s just an 8hr guy. Luckily, this is where being a previous
Kitty Queen of Party. A delicious drizzle of creamy coated candy flavoured ‘ Socialite‘ comes in handy. I don’t find it difficult AT ALL to be up until the early hours of the morning, singing and a dancing, rocking and a rolling, with a boob out, whilst attempting to make a human feel loved. 🙂 Fair enough, the songs are now nursery rhymes, the baby martini in my hand is now an actual baby, the rocking…is of a cradle and the ‘boob out’ part…is just because i’m a floozy. The good kind of floozy though. One where you can place the word ‘ Woozie‘ after it. I make babies and love them. I’m a champion! I feel all powerful, womanly and deliciously grown up. [Add confetti shower here.] Ruby loves our night time play! She’ll SCREAM at 3.57am..I’ll jump up, gather my clevage, grab a Tommee Tippee bottle and we’ll have a blast. It usually ends in tears, sleep or pooing…yet all great parties do! (I have a happy baby. One that’s always giggling, smiling and pouting. When she’s over me, she turns into what looks like an angry old chinese man and does hand gestures, that I can only really translate as gang signs?) People in gangs are tragic and because they never let me in them. I’ll have to start my own Glamour Puss street side massive! We wear pastel colours and spritz you to death with Estee Lauder. You’ll thug-style up to us, with ya ‘Daddy didn’t love us’ drama and you’ll be leaving with a weave, a spray tan and no money left in ya wallet! BOOYAH! How the hell have i got onto that??? Bottom line…Ruby didn’t sleep last night. But we adore her for it. I could stay up with her forever. I’ve proved that my eyelashes would stay on through the whole little shindig. (To all of you tweeting me. Yep, i did have my eyelashes on through the entire labour and yeah, they stayed on like champions. Best glue ever! I do labour in style!)
Anyway, away from the ‘new baby’ part of my life. I’m currently working as much as i can to get my book finished and my day job a float, inbetween Ruby’s naps. It’s all going well and I’m really getting excited about it all now. Due to the help of Wazza. (Oh how i love Wazza) It’s all been made much easier. I re-read through some of my old blog archive from 2009. Wow, i was a feisty little nuisance. Yet that’s the beauty of my blog. You get you watch me grow up right infront of your very eyes. You’re part of my life journey. I learn as I go along. I made mistakes. I picked myself back up and I rambled out my tale with each passing day. So much has changed since 2009. Infact, since 7 days ago. Lol. Life is a wonderful thing. The fact that i’ve brought a beautiful life into the world has made my whole entire existance make sense to me. It took me a long time…it does. But I graduated my 20’s…even though I spent most of it in Hollywood clinging onto the cliff edge. My Thirties, i’m gonna to Fox Trot through deliciously. (OMG!! I’ve just realised that I haven’t yet had a drink!!!! I’m still ridiculously Tee-Total and I don’t even have to be? What is wrong with me? I’m a poor excuse for a ‘strunken.‘ I should start sucking this mouldy orange in dying hope that it has fermented.) Hmm…? I enjoy how Pete likes to open his mail in the morning and through it floor behind him if it’s a bill. He walked around the appartment last night with his willy out, but still with his socks and slippers on, to humour me. Unfortunately, I know that trick. It’s not at all to humour me. It’s to try and get me to ‘put out.’ He finds me ever so sexy, now i’ve had his child. (I’ve almost lost ALL of my baby weight now. It seems looking after a new born is the best diet ever.) He’s doing jokey surprise moments of ‘ooh i have my willy out,’ far too often for it not to mean ‘i want sex.’ My crotch is currently being held together by stitches. He has no chance. Luckily, my daughter (ooh i love saying daughter) feels my kitty cat pain and decides to sleep inbetween us ALL night. See! We’re already a team! I’m obsessed with her.
Last night I recieved a text from Gay Adam reading: ‘ Wunna, I have a proposition for you, should you choose to accept. It’s your fave kind too. One where you don’t have to do anything at all and yet you look like a complete martyr for it!’
I replied with a ‘Go on…Ur right…I like this already.’
Anyway, he’s walking the
Great Wall of China (hahaha…sorry I don’t know why i find that funny. It’s just the thought of moany Gay Adam stranded on a GIANT wall…and in fricking CHINA!! HAHAHAHA.) It’s actually all in aid of a cancer charity called ‘The Christie’ and he obviously needs to raise 3k for them. I’m gonna help bring awareness to his plight to make the world a better place. I’m all for a do-gooder. They’re never as bad as people make out. Apart from the breast feeding ‘ nazi‘ girl, who came to my appartment, with the devil in her eyes and the will of trying to force to squeeze my boob into the mouths of others! I bitch slapped her with a *look.* The fact that she referred to HER SELF as a ‘Do Gooder.’ Made me want to do a sick. ‘Aaah I’m just a little do gooder.’ People who do good, never try to sell it to you. I threw her out with a smile and a ‘get off my baby.’ But anyway, yeah Gay Adam is climbing a giant wall to help all those with cancer. After the very merry weekend i’m gonna start my whole ‘jibber-jibber jabber’ in order to get him that much needed 3k! He’s had a hard time. He could do with a little Wunna-love.
Fyi/ After I agreed to help. He then text me this: ‘ Hahahahahaha! You’ve just got to love it. The last time I went on a hike, I was told i was going to the Zoo…in Palm springs! Lol. Oh & a word of advice. I suggest you pass this onto Ruby too…If anyone ever asks if you want to go to China- don’t say yes, because there’s aaaaaalways a catch.’
Anyway, hope you’re all loved and adored. I’ve got to get back to work, Loverboy, Wunna land and Mummyhood. Thankyou again for all your kind messages. I especially love the Beyonce ‘ Bootylicious‘ song Tweeted to me from My doll Ali…for Ruby. It goes a bit like… ‘Cos my baby’s to Ruby-licious for ya babe.’ HAHA. I have actually been singing it to her, whilst Pete’s had Jeremy Clarkson on our telly.
Oh and i’ve been inundated with inboxes from those of you who saw that tiny clip of me on what’s to come on ‘OMG! Peaches!‘ Glad you’re all excited, but yeah I have no idea how it will pan out. 🙂 I will tell you that I was astonished at how fat my face was!!! *Puts muffin down.* But whatever, i was 9 months pregnant..to the day. It’s hilarious! I look like Jabba the Hut…in sequins. (Anyhow, Clips of my labour will be coming up shortly. We only have them up until Petey passed out. LOL.)
Me & Gay Adam www.justgiving.com/A-Parnell (Feel free to * Click* on that link and donate…before i get around to MAKING you do it. 🙂 ) I enjoy how i refer to him as ‘ GAY ADAM,’ when he might not even be ‘out’ to all of his family yet! HAHAHAHA. Welcome to Wunna Land.