There’s Just Something Exciting In The Wunna Land Air…

I’m solar powered. The sun’s out. Which means i’m pretty happy. I’ve had a fresh mimosa poured, which reminds me of LA. (Is a Mimosa a carb? 😉 )

I’m doing breakie with my Dad. I’m in booty shorts. I have new driving heels. My ‘brow game’ isn’t as tragic as it was yesterday. (I have someone who does my face now, on mornings before filming. She likes a sluggy brow. I like a ‘less statement’ brow. So we’ve compromised. Haha.)

The world is still moving. I still feel like the luckiest girl alive. Ruby & Junior are at their most confident. They’re at their happiest. Everyone in the Universe seems to be DMing me. Literally everyone. People I know. Complete strangers. People I love. People I don’t. Exes. Chick friends. EVERYONE. Even my second ex husband sent me a massive message yesterday because he needs to find divorce papers or something, because he needs to get his new wife HER papers, or something and wants me to sort it all out for him. Get lost. I’m not your immigration attorney, nor your wifey anymore. I’m a glamour puss. I’m sure you can figure it out by yourself. Ex husbands are annoying, because they try to always treat you like a wife..even though decades of not being their wife, have passed.

Anyway….

Every other human seems to be having a go at the ‘Gender change’ snapchat filter. (TBone, just posted his. He’s actually hot as a chick & must dig himself because he posted it. Haha. I look like Jason Momoa on mine. Not to blow my own trumpet or anything. No. I look like Jason, if he was into gang violence. Haha.) But away from that…. I can’t wait until the end of May. Life is just WUNNA Ful.

I can’t actually believe how much my life has changed over the last ‘blink.’ Well, I can…because I changed it. But with a little effort. A little faith. A little love. A stir to the right. A shake to the left. A shimmie. A bit of focus. A tequila and the simple art of keeping everything crossed…all your dreams CAN come true.

Trust me! I’m in booty shorts. You should always trust someone in booty shorts. They radiate this confidence, that says….I can tackle life, with my thighs OUT and a possible camel toe.

Everything exciting. I’m exactly where i’m meant to be. I’m positive. I’m still believing that everything that’s meant to be, will find it’s way to you.

I’m feeling strong, because recently, i’ve made some really great decisions. Decisions that keep me on the happy train. I’m a pretty decent decision maker. I don’t ‘fence sit.’ However, nowadays, i’m not making rubbish choices. my priorities are deliciously divine.

Yeah, there’s changes. (I’m cool with changes.) Yeah there’s drama. (Drama ain’t got shit on me.) On the whole, I can’t really complain. I’m lucky. I have everything I need. Anything else is a bonus.

My good friend Ronnie (who is pretty much like a brother) and a celebrity chef out in the states. He’s on everything and smashing it. We’re old now, but i’ve known him since he was 19, when we used to work in the same place, play ‘photo shoots’ and when he was pretending that he wasn’t gay. Haha. He’s such a great soul.

We have so many wonderful memories, that I can’t even tell you about. He flies into London on the 27th..and I just can’t wait to see him. (My baby brudda, from a nudda.) Check him out @ronniecwoo. (Insta.) He’s one of my closest friends. I completely remember being a young 20 something, divorced, but now dating…and FORCING Ronnie to take slutty, naked Valentine polaroid pics of me, in his appartment, for Eric (who I was dating), as a gift.

Ronnie: ‘EWWWW!!! Get my tie away from your VAGINA!!’

Hahaha.

Now he’s a superstar chef. Had his own show and everything…and i’m still a glamourous ‘money making’ idiot.

Yippppeee! (I once sold his booty to one of Janet Jackson backing dancers.)

Ronnie: ‘I love Chrissie, because she’s sexy, but she’s actually pretty….and she’s easy going, but sassy…and fun. She’s different. Yet, cool. She’s everything a guy could want.’

(You’ve got to love your Gaysians. A straight guy would’ve stumbled through that paragraph of glory, whilst hiding behind ‘old school machoisms.)

The end of May is a ‘cray cray’ time for me. So much is happening. Almost every human that I adore, is returning to the UK, during that time. I have work, meetings, influencey stuff, auditions, filming…Junior has a birthday. I have court. (Rolls Eyes.)

Yet, I cannot WAIT see everyone, because everyone I see, will make me so happy.

There’s just a buzz around Wunna Land right now. It’s bringing a smile to everyones face. Things are changing and unlike the granny at Marks & Spencer’s who cannot work the self service machine, I am flowing with the times.

Right, this blog has had to be pointless, short, but sweet, because the sun’s out. I need to slap this laptop shut and go enjoy it!!

Be brave. Have fun. Only do the things that make you happy. Live!!

Why?

…because in the words of Andrew Lloyd Webber…

‘Nothing is so good it lastst forever.’

Make your mark & enjoy very single moment of your existence. The right people will always love you. The best people will always stand by you…no matter how much time has passed, or how many bad judgments you’re guilty of!

Love you.

Thank you for following my life.

Stepping Up MY Game & The Sassy Art Of Focus

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Everything couldn’t be acer. I’m feeling on top of the world and i’m feeling giddy, almost like i’m filled with utter excitement. As I said in the last blog, a wonderful change is about to occur in Wunna Land and it’s making me feel empowered, confident, brave and finally exactly where I had hoped to be career wise.

It’s something that I’ve always wanted, therefore to have a shot, a tinker at a dream, a chance at a goal…a brand new thing…just feels wonderful.

You’re all going to be very shocked. I’m feeling as though i’m finally en route. I’m feeling challenged in a really satisfying way. I’m ready now. I’m really really ready now.

But happy Frinally. Hope you’re all great! I’m currently rocking my new rings from ‘Lovisa.’ Y’know, the ‘one on everything finger’ thing. I feel all hip, all cool, all swigedy, swigedy, swaggy. It’s a box i’m quite comfy in. (What a surprise! The Ego never fails me.)

Talking about ‘Ego’ we’re all headed their tonight for drinks and dinner. When I say we’re, Ruby, Junior and I, will be meeting the rest of The Wunna’s, once I’ve done the school run.

We always eat out on a Friday. I like to kick start the weekend with a celebration. I love the weekends, because I adore being with the bambinos. They crack me up. I’m really proud of how confident they’re grown. They’re just so big now. I feel like the luckiest Mama in the world. No matter what drama life throws at us, together we’re invincible and we do it with laughter.

(I’m currently blogging from Waterstones, Doncaster.)

‘DBear,’ is the most wonderful soul. He’s strong. His mind is strong. His heart is strong. He inspires others and thrives off that feeling of goodness.

He’s like a silent hero.

I understand how he’s done so well in life. He is mentally unbreakable and filled with nothing but love and gentleness.

He’s one of the loveliest people I’ll ever know. I hope I know him forever.

This morning I was moaning, about having to learn something for something. (All stuff. I can’t tell you about.) And with a sturdy, yet magical wave of inspiration, he assured me that I could do it!!! He reminded me to CONCENTRATE on what I WAS DOING (I like to be distracted) …and encouraged me to gather my nerves and transform them into controlled excitement.

The kind of excitement, that puts fire in your eyes. It blazes, but it’s calm. It’s mighty, but it’s focused. It’s warm. It smiles. It’s alive.

I’m like that anyway. Yet, I kinda pretended that I wasn’t as dynamic as him, for some reason? Like I was a little weaker than I am? Haha. I don’t know whether it was because I wanted my back stroked a little, or what? Haha. I’m such a girl.

Y’know, he has this way of making me feel very girlishly nurtured, in the loveliest way possible. I listen to him, because he doesn’t force me to. I listen to him because he respects me always. I listen to him because he understands me.

I never get to feel girlishly nurtured, because i’m a ‘powerhouse,’ innit. Haha. Yet, I love feeling that way. I love learning. I love listening. I love those who Inspire me.

DBear: ‘You can do this. Just concentrate on it and work hard.’

Me: ‘I know. You’re right. I just like to say whatever I want to say, instead.’

DBear: ‘Haha. You got this. Focus!’

Anyway, i’m feeling the love, because not only am I proud, but the parents (the ‘rentals’) are all proud as punch. For some reason, that makes me happy. It fills me with ‘kid did good’ vibes. Haha.

Brother: ‘Great! Another thing Chrissie’s done. Whooppeeee!’

I feel like i’m being creepy right now? Like why am I so happy that i feel all girly and kid like? It’s odd. But I’m enjoying it.

Anyway, away from that because I can’t be arsed to type anymore. I’m feeling great. I’m eating clean. I’m taking care of myself. I’m loving every piece of my life. I have new everything There’s a new chapter approaching. I’m stepping up my game and my look is being given a kitty whizz of ‘ooh laa.’

Make sure you have a cocktail!


Happy Friday.

New Chapters, Tingles & ‘You Definitely Need A Wine, Mate.’

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Everything’s changing. I’m about to head into another new chapter. An exciting one, that gives my soul the ‘tingles.’ I can’t sew, my brows are on point and I definitely did the school run this morning, with a peach yogurt on my dashboard. But the lucky stars are on my side…and for that alone, I’m grateful.

I’ve spent my life living, with everything crossed. (But not my toes, as I find that peculiar.) I always believe that if you put your ALL into something boldy, you’ll have a better chance of ‘championing’ a great result. Yet, I also believe that you can only go so far, with full effort. It’s then when you kinda have to trust your journey and just leave things to ‘life magic.’ That’s the ‘fingers crossed’ bit, where you hope for the best and jump in the deep end.

Right now,  I’m making really firm decisions, that stamp the word ‘happiness’ deeply into the grounds of Wunna Land. Those decisions are *squeaking* and *glistening* with love, life and giddiness. It kinda seems that the older I get, the more happy I want to be. That came out wrong! What I mean is, now that i’m older and i’ve learnt a few things, I make my own happiness a priority.

 Happiness has only ever *shone* as a priority previously, whenever i’ve reached rock bottom, simply had enough, and just needed to DO SOMETHING, CHANGE EVERYTHING, so I didn’t have to waste my time, purpose or get wrinkles from frowning. Haha. You get it. When you need a life line. These days, I don’t leave things to the ‘can’t take anymore’ mark. I notice them straight away and I guess, trickled through my years of wisdom, is a warm, but fearless motivation to only do the things that make my heart swell…that make my eyes smile. (Which isn’t hard. I’m Asian. They’re always smiling. J )

The change is work. It’s all still entertainment…It’ all still ‘look at me’ and showy. However i’m tottering down a different path. A path I used to totter, yet felt defeated by, due to a much more successful ex, ex, ex husband. (HE didn’t make me feel bad. He’s a wonderful soul. I took it upon myself in my early 20’s feel bad. Yippeee! I convinced myself that my goal was personally unachievable.)

How wrong I was!

Now, that I know ALL dreams come true, if you at least try and keep your fingers crossed 😉 i’m going for it. A phone call was made to me before Christmas. I’d met this lady who is the MD of a place I love. I met her at the ‘Lifestyle Awards’ many moons ago. (I remember Stephanie Hirst in my left eyeline. Zanetti with a giant blond quiff to my right….and a bustle as everyone wanted to head to The Maven for an After Party.)  Anyway, her company keeps crossing, passing and tinkering through to Wunna Land by accident. I’ve always *paused* and thought. I’ve always really WANTED. Yet something’s always happened, which hasn’t made the timing right. (I’m blaming it on timing. It’s never time. It’s when you’re ready.)

Yesterday…I felt I was ready. So I put everything together, wrote it all out and that it’s i’m doing it. I’m doing it because it makes me happy. I’m doing it because everyone onboard reckons I have a good shot at it. I’m also doing it because I refuse to let the ‘behind the scenes’ drama, distract me and affect my work, happiness, life, love and success. I’m not someone who grants focus to the bad bits, at 38. Success is always the sweetest revenge. Happiness is the only thing that makes you a successful human.

An email got sent…I start pretty soon. It’s weird how things can get sorted so easily, if you just get ya shit together.

But anyway, I can’t sew! Why can’t I sew? I’m quite girly. I’m feminine. I’m a glamour puss. I’m creative. I’m pretty good at ‘doing stuff’ in general, aside from mathematics, because my brain can’t be arsed to do sums. Someone could say, ‘What’s 7 + 3?’ I’ll immediately reply, ‘I don’t know?’ Haha. Al because I can’t be bothered to waste a moment adding the two numbers. (Before you start, I DO KNOW, the answer is 10. Haha.) However, i’d quite happily write a poem, take a selfie, or scribe a blog. My brain has time for that.)

Anyway, I can’t sew. In my head, I thought I was some kinda of seamstress. I knew I wasn’t. I just imagined myself sewing gowns for Queens and making masterpieces. All i can actually do is sew on a couple buttons, a name tag or a few sequins. That’s where my sewing talent ends. But that’s the only level of talent I NEEDED. All I had to do was sew clips onto my hair extensions.

OH MY GOD. It was a disaster. It was all over the place. It was so messy. Threads snapped, hair tangled, clips fell, all this fuckiNG shit happened, that I stressed myself out. I carried on and completed it, because I needed hair. But let me tell you right now. I now have an even HUGER appreciation for all those who have the patience to sew in weaves, or clips onto hair.

Who has the emotional stability for that kinda of madness??? I just don’t like the niggly tedious tasks that people expect me to do. Haha. My Mum even offered to sew for me, yet no ofcourse, I had to master it myself. Why am I even trying to sew things? Why am I doing ab work outs? Why am I eating clean and not guzzling extra cocktails? Why is roasted seaweed by favourite snack after yoga? Why would I ever ‘Superzoom’ that onto my Insta Story???? I’m meant to be diamonds and swag, not ‘Save the flipping Whales.’ I’m meant to be ‘good times’ & sex appeal…not ‘I’ll snack on sunflower seeds for fun.’ I don’t drink sugar free soda UNLESS it has VODKA in it!

Sometimes you can step a bit too far out your lane….Only the smartest people know when to rein it in…However, sometimes you need to rely on smart friends, who refuse to let you fall into the depths of a roasted seaweed, Insta story ‘Superzoom.’

Miss. Murphy was right…

‘Mate. You need a wine. I’m at Angelica’s. You should come.’

A bit of B’Zinga

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Right! I’ve been inundated with messages galore, about yesterday’s blog. Everything’s fine. I’m all good. You needed to check my Insta Story (@chrissiewunna) to know that. I just needed to voice it all out…simply to let it go, before I muscled on it, to ‘champion’ things out. (Everyone always wants me to write about how I really feel and when I do…everyone then gets into a mini fluster. Haha.)

However. thank you so much for all the support. I might not have a gazillion followers, but the ones I have are the most loyal ‘winks’ and that alone is worth so much more.

Bottom line. I’m happy. All’s wonderful. As soon as I strutted out of my ‘drama’ yesterday, my friend Mel, zoomed straight in with a Whatsapp message, filled with help, love and confidence. (There’s a comfort to that. She’s been through it before & she’s strong.) My Mum was an absolute Queen and ‘DBear’ troopered in, with that irrepressible feisty strength he has. I love you all. Thank you so much.

Y’know, ‘DBear’ has this very attractive power of being able to stand up for all of those, he cares about. He does it whole heartedly. I have the exact same Superpower. It’s something we share, as traits. You might think that standing up for someone else is not that big a deal. But you’re wrong. I’ve seen SO MANY ‘apparently ballsy’ people walk on by, say nothing, do nothing or bury their head in the sand…in a moment where they needed to hand over a bit of support, strength and gusto.

Don’t get it twisted, I’m not saying get involved in everything, or anything where your powers are not needed. Lol. Yet when they are…and you know when they are, because there’s a *pause.* You feel that moment in the air….YOU SHOULD.

You’ll feel a sense of injustice, or you’ll take a look at a moment and notice that a friend in need, may not ask, yet absolutely requires a lil’ b’zinga.

That’s when you should step in, WITHOUT FEAR…and with B’ZINGA. (And you can’t do it shit, either, because once you go in…you’ve got to go in with nipple tassles on…the lot! )

I once had a friend ‘go in’ with B’zinga at a cocktail bar once. In fact, it was Neighbourhood, Leeds. They started off really well…& then got insecure half way through the mighty delivery. Haha. It was ace…It was like she quit mid way, cos she was a little parched.

‘Jeeves! I need a Pina Colada!! Immediately!’

If someone else has already owned ‘Operation B’Zinga,’ it’s rude to butt in, if you’re not invited. Haha. However, there was a moment where she looked at me, like a glittery lifeline of sharp sassy charm was needed. I took that as my I invitation…

Precious: ‘Thank God, you took over. She’s was in my face. I couldn’t think of anything else to say, other then her brow game was shocking. Haha’

Me: ‘Lol. Don’t go in unless you’re gonna finish…Haha. I HATE impromptu sass.’

Precious: ‘You did it so nicely. Well I couldn’t tell if it was so evil or so nice? You’re like a James Kitty Bond.’

Me: ‘Haha. I’m a glamour puss, not a shot putter. It needed grace. Did James Bond have fights in bars? I thought he killed people & had sex with all their wives?’

Precious: ‘Honestly. Who TF cares! Get me a gin! Haha.’

Anyway. I got distracted.

I faced fears yesterday. It ignited my soul with a juiced up ‘whoosh’ of ‘ooh laa.’ It felt good. It felt empowering. Therefore today, it made me face another fear……which was putting actual air in my tyres….by myself….at the petrol station. Haha. Honestly, it scares me so much. I usually make other people do it, or buy new tyres. (I’m that pathetic.)

Jules: ‘She once. Couldn’t be arsed to wash a giant pan after using it, because the task looked far too laborious, so she threw it away in the wheels bin and bought a new one.’

(That was the one time I cooked. 😜)

There you have it. I’m a total Queen. Do something that scares you.

Wait!!! I think I need to go? I have a video call at some point today??? I can’t remember what time??? It’s to influence someone’s book.

Video calls scare me..So ‘BOOM’ another fear faced. Haha. I’m on fire. I need a prosecco.

Some Day I’ll Wish Upon A Star…

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Today is a stressy day & it’s only just begun. It actually began last night. I couldn’t sleep. I laid in bed awake, pondering, rethinking, Googling facts, whilst trying finding solutions. I thought that would help my mind rest. It didn’t. It stimulated it.

In fact no. It’s not actually ‘stressful’ day. I could turn it into a positive day. I’m just letting it BE stressy for now. (Don’t get this mixed up with a ‘pity party.’ I’m good at them too. Yet, I assure you, that this is not that. It’s more of a ‘worry.’ A little juicy ‘worry,’ that I doesn’t deserve.)

However, once my coffee’s kicked in, my second wind will flourish and my heart will turn to ‘lioness.’ Then I’ll grow ten feet tall, mighty and smash it. (There’s always got to be a little’ worry,’ before you turn ‘warrior,’ right? Just agree with me. Haha.. I’m not in the mood for jiggery pokery.)

Life has been SO good. So wonderful. So perfect. I’ve been telling you all about it. Things are on the up. Work is fantastic. Life with the babies, as been THE BEST it’s ever been and that’s because they’re BOTH at their happiest and most confident, right now.

In the back of my mind, there’s been a ‘niggle.’ A ‘niggle’ that all my happiness & all my cheer had misted over, because it was far more powerful, than something & someone so negative. I knew it was there. Yet, I didn’t let it get to me.

Now i’m here. It’s the day. Today I have to FEEL IT and LIVE IT. Today’s MY beginning of it all.

The good thing about me, is that i’m used to feeling and living. The weird thing is, that no matter how many times I ‘blink’ and find myself in a ‘sticky’ situation, i’m never complacent.

I will always have a moment of ‘worry.’ I don’t ‘paper over the cracks’ as my friends would say, with ‘bloshy bull.’ It’s okay to feel worried. That’s what makes me human.

I feel. I listen. I express. I do it eloquently and only for the things that I believe in.

My inbox is currently jam packed and buzzing every single moment, minute & breath, with a notification or new DM.

It’s not even filled with smut. (Well, maybe a bit of smut, from strangers who have let their beautiful imaginations go wild. Haha.) It’s filled with love. And I thank everyone, for every little positive comment that they take the time to leave. I’m grateful for every little supportive DM, that fills my kitty soul with confidence. It’s wonderful. It really is wonderful.

Today, none of that matters. Lol. My focus is directly on something that really matters. It matters more than anything to me…and I refuse to be bullied, by people who are so lost, so confused and therefore via the fine art of selfishness, try to control what is not their’s to hurt or control. It’s wrong.

I’m a little scared. I’m fine with that. We should confront the things that scare us, right? Plus, I don’t have a choice. No. That’s wrong. We always have a choice. We chose what happens next in our story. We’re always one decision away from a completely different life.

Anyway, today I needed a ‘look at me’ cut away….

…So I posted a fresh pic (the one above) of me, on my ‘socials’ this morning and with a ‘log out‘ I that was me done.

The good thing is that the Wunna Land magic, now takes care of itself. I’ll be able to leave everyone to it and check back in later, after i’ve dealt with the behind the scenes drama.

My coffee’s kicked in. I’m ready. I need to perfume spritz and lip gloss.

Leeeesssss goooooo…….

ps/ This is not a dreary blog. It’s empowering. Today i’m gonna conquer everything. I needed to write this, because I needed to say it out loud. Y’know, just so the stress could dust away into tiny pieces and flutter off me. I don’t believe in the art of the ‘bottle in.’ It’s the most unhealthy habit.

Always feel free. (I can feel you reading this. Thank you all for the support.)

Mum: ‘Good luck, Baby.’

Ruby: ‘I love you Mum. My hair looks amazing today. I look like Rapunzel.’

Me: ‘I love you too. Have the best day at school. I’ll see you both at 3.30.’

Junior: ‘I love you so much.’

I don’t want a Hamster & Gin

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I don’t know how I’m feeling right now? I know i’m feeling good. Really good. Great! I know that the babies are my world. Work’s great. I’m waiting to hear from a show I’d really like to get on. All’s good.

However, the problem with me, is that I adore excitement. I’ve grown out of chasing it, or causing. Yet, I still enjoy the feeling of ‘excitement.’ I find it delicious. Y’know, Lavish flutters of excitement that make your heart fly and swirl..and it seems that when everything ‘ticks’ the perfect box, in Wunna Land. Well passion, ambition and all the dynamic parts of my personality fire up and I slipping on my ‘adventure’ heels…looking for magic moments of ‘swirl.’

Don’t worry, i’m not gonna do anything crazy. I’m 38, not 20. But there’s just something brewing in the airs of Wunna Land. I don’t quite know what, but I can feel it. It’s meandering around me, with every single ‘strut’ I take.

I will take this time to also tell you that my car fucked up this morning. I was driving and then all of a sudden it decided to go ‘ape’ and my actual car alarm started going off.

Awesome.

I had to drive it all the way to the garage, with my ALARM GOING OFF, like i’d stolen my own car. Haha. Not embarrassing at all. I was initially concerned that everyone would be watching me. Then I went with ‘fuck it, i’m not that important.’ I felt the fear and did it anyway. I drove like EVERYONE’S car alarm SHOULD be going off, whilst on the road, after the school run.

Got to the garage. The alarm quit sounding. I looked like an utter lunatic. Like i’d made the whole entire thing up. All was fine. The car was dandy. No alarm was sounding…So they sent me back home. HAHAHA.

Honestly, why though!!??! What the jiggles IS my life!?!

Save yourselves. If this is the ‘perfect’ tick box, then I have issues.

I need a Marks & Spencers ‘Rainbow Veg Sushi Wrap to make me feel better. (Plug. Plug.) It’s part of their new Plant Kitchen Range…which is superb if you’re vegan. (I’m not.) However, i’m trying to eat as healthy as possible, because I’m sick of my belly having a wibble and well..at the END OF MAY, i have LOTS OF PEOPLE, headed, or headed back to the UK, who i’m going to be seeing…and Let’s be realistic, I’m as vain as they come, I want to look more like a Goddess, a vision, something you build shrines to and daren’t touch, in case it breaks your heart, rather than ‘Susie Lu’ who works at the chip shop.

I have a free day today, so i’m spending it with my Mum and Dad. They’re got roped into being part of ‘Welcome to Wunna Land’ (we filmed this morning, so we’re now just chilling at brunch. They secretly love it.

Dad: ‘Who thought that i’d spend my life as a surgeon and then at 70, be part of a reality show because Chrissie…who i actually CREATED fancies herself on the telly…It’s insane…But I love it. It’s better than doing the gardening.’

(Yes, I was the winning sperm that swam down my Father’s penis, to be grown and fed in my mother’s womb. Yippeee. Now I drink….and we lived happily ever after.)

I love family time, because I get to be a little girl again and it’s ace. Haha. When you’re old and you’ve been an independent ‘Girl Boss’ and had to struggle through the glittery wilderness, all your life, being pampered and babied, feels so good. Haha.

I used to NEVER let people pamper me or treat me. I don’t know why? I HAD to be the treater, or the ‘looker afterer.’ I loved it. I still do. But i noticed that I never ever let anyone take care of me. I don’t know what that issue was? But it was one.

However, these days, in my jolly old age, (‘knockers’ still good,) I loved to be cared for and ‘kitty stroked.’ I’m more accepting of it now…and almost despise people who don’t do it. Haha. I feel like everyone reckons that i’ve spent my life as a ‘diva’…When really it’s quite the opposite.

Ruby: ‘She’s literally the most caring person I know & she’s fun. She makes us scrambled eggs, just in her pants, singing songs we like, with rollers in her hair.’

Junior: ‘She says we can’t have things, unless we work hard for them…but then they just appear in our house.’

Hahaha. Oh Lord.

They want a hamster. I’m NOT DOING a hamster. We have a cat. I can’t stroke a hamster. They scare me.

SO, what the kids have done now, is made their OWN money influencing over Easter, saved their pocket money and offered to do chores around Grandma’s house to save up for a Hamster & a cage.

The Hamster is only £10. Haha. They’re currently on a hell of a lot more. I hate hamsters, but i can’t have them come up with a solution, work so hard, save money and then NOT LET THEM HAVE A HAMSTER, can I?

My Mum: ‘At this rate kids, you could probably get something different like a puppy or a tortoise.’

Cheers Mum! A tortoise I could do. All it would do would be chill and watch me drink gin. I did used to have a white chihuahua called ‘Victoria Beckham aka Posh Spice.’

A hamster is a whole different level of cheer. It if bites me, i’ll go mental and then the kids will hate me. Haha.

Yet, I told them that if they make their own money, they can spend it on what they want..(within reason…not on gin.) They have….They want a hamster. So yes, that’s brilliant.

‘ROLLS EYES.’

We’re calling it ‘Tequila.’ If they don’t let me, i’ll just not drive them to Pets at Home. Haha.

Banter over. I love you very much.

Thank you for following me life. AS IF you’re actually going to see it in real life soon.

Magpies, Life & Exciting Times

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I saw THREE magpies this morning. I’m superstitious by nature. Well…kinda. I’m really too insane. However, I don’t like to tempt fate, so i’ll refrain from walking under that ladder…just in case. Haha.

I usually see ONE magpie, which as we know is bad luck, so i’l scramble my eyes to quickly find another…I usually ALWAYS do. Lol. (I know, i’m sounding nuts.) Anyway, this morning, I saw ONE, TWO…then THREE. (Which never happens.) So I did the rhyme…

One for sorrow. Two for joy. THREE FOR A BLOODY GIRL!!!!!!!’

I nearly had a panic attack. Then I got over it and just carried on with life. If I ever have another girl. The Magpies told you first. (As in the ACTUAL birds and NOT Newcastle United…as ofcourse that sounds a bit awkward and dirty on every level.)

Glad you’re all happy. I’m loving my messages. I’m healthy eating, working out a little, still drinking, yet i’ve switched to gin, to minimize calories and so many of you are asking me about my delicious Park Plaza stay. (I’m chipper about that, because I did what I was meant to do. 😉 )

The thing about influencing is that people and ‘green’ companies, always think it’s about THE AMOUNT of followers, someone has. It’s not. It’s actually about HOW MANY PEOPLE, LISTEN to the influencer and therefore take action. Never forget that.

(Ooh. I just got a message from TBone.)

Anyway… my let’s rewind. My Saturday afternoon, through night was divine. I got to catch up with my friend Mel, for her birthday…and just chill for a second, at Ego (a place I go lot) as I ‘2 for 1’ cocktailed and just chatted life.

I have a lot of respect for Mel. Like everyone, she’s been through a lot…and even though she can sometimes have a ‘hard’ exterior, internally she’s soft. She glows. I like that…and I like that she just understands me…regardless. I liek that she was in leopard print heels.

We laughed, we bantered, we drank far too much, but we enjoyed every single second. I’d missed her and hadn’t managed to see her in ages, because my work schedule had been hectic, or some kind of drama had happened. Plus, anytime you end up losing your entire handbag..

Me: ‘OMG! Where’s it gone???’

Ego Staff: ‘We’ll call your phone!’

…and you find out the ever chipper Mel, has accidentally picked it up and taken it with her on her ‘birthday travels….’ YOU KNOW YOU’VE HAD A GOOD TIME.

Mel: ‘I don’t know how I ended up with it? Hahaha. I’ll bring it back now…’

She did…with her new boyfriend Dave…

Me: ‘Shit! Dave! You’re hot.’

And just like that, life went back to normal…Well…a big sleep and a hangover happened. That’s not normal. I don’t sleep well. 😉

It was just really good to catch up and hang out with all her friends. I’d come straight from working in Leeds, so I didn’t bother to get changed or anything…i just showed up with a smile and saw her there with her model like daughter Alex.

Mel: ‘When you said you weren’t dressed, I thought you meant you only had your underwear on. Haha.’

It made me smile. I needed a blast of reality…even if it did start with salted rimmed margaritas…and end with 40 more, with a moment of ‘shit i’ve lost my bag’ panic.

The staff at Ego were actually really great. I mean, imagine going out of your way to personally call my phone, find it and then offer to drive me to it, incase it didn’t return itself to me, after your shift.

I’m forever grateful.

That night made me need a detox. Haha. So ALL good things came from it.

Y’know, everything’s perfect in Wunna Land right now. Everything. I’m even having to pinch myself. There are moments where I feel good, moments where I feel amazing, moments were things are dodgy…But no matter what, I know that the fairytale has a great ending, because if it keeps going the way it is, my happiness will never stop. If it doesn’t, i’ve experienced so much in life that I KNOW, that I can handle it.

Happiness to me, is doing whatever it is you want and love..WITH LOVE…whilst taking care of the people you’re meant to treasure.

I have that now. I’m so lucky.

Don’t waste time doing the things you hate doing. You have one life to life. I meat with my good friend Abeiku yesterday for a catch up. He owns ‘House of Solo’ and Pentagon’ magazine…and it was really good to chat and help him understand life.

Enjoy ya time!

He’s softer than I am, as i’m sassy. But I respect him for always doing what feels right, to him.

That’s what it’s about. We have different views on things…. Yet never ever judge each other. We piss ourselves laughing.

Me: ‘Do you want a gin?’

Big A: ‘I swear you got me a double?’

Me: ‘Well obviously. I dont’ do singles…Eww!’

Everything’s perfect and my end of May is going to be so much FUN. There’s a glisten in the skies of Wunna Land…and a fire in my heart. There are naughty memories to be made…and I simply cannot wait.

(Ooh wait…Kenny at The Mallard wants a favour…’

Kenny: ‘When are you gonna post half naked in a Liverpool top??’

Haha. Y’know, i’m getting so many ‘football shirt, posey’ requests right now, it’s insane. So i’m gonna do them all. Why not! EVEN THOUGH I’m a Leeds United supporter. (I have everything crossed, but i just don’t think they’re gonna smash the playoffs.)

Okay, i’m off. I’ve got stuff to do. I am getting the best messages right now and they are making my eyes smile & my heart swell.

Love you all..

Thank you for being a part of Wunna Land.

GIVE ME MAY!!!

Skyline Suites, Love & Sushi

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I don’t know whether i’m the luckiest girl in the world, or whether i’m THE LUCKIEST girl IN THE WORLD!?! 😉 Everything in life, is all about how you FEEL & right now, I feel SO grateful, SO alive and therefore SO happy.

I’ve come a long way and I don’t know who to thank, other than my lucky stars, every human that I’ve crossed path with & every lesson i’ve learnt. (I’ve never let anything get me down. I mean SO DOWN, that a gin and tonic can’t fix …and that in itself MUST be a skill. Haha.)

Anyway, Ruby & Junior went back to school today. We’ve had the most amazing Easter holidays and not only have we done SO much together, but working with humans that used to live in my belly, is weirdly pleasurable. Lol. They’re my joys and even though we’re all utterly close as a family anyway….It’s almost as if, we just grow closer and closer as each minute passes.

We’re not a family with a ‘squeaky clean’ finish. We’re real. We’re honest and we’re filled with this unconditional love. I tell MY version of our lives…and after everything we’ve been through I cannot actually believe how wonderful everything is! How WUNNAFUL everything is.

Again lots has happened. We’ve just checked out of the most beautiful ‘Skyline Suite’ at Park Plaza, Leeds. We stay there a lot, just for kicks really. I love hotels and well…If i could live in one, I always said i would. Haha. But anyway, every time we do ‘kitten strut’ into Park Plaza, it is ALWAYS ALWAYS amazing.

Junior really wanted to stay on the 20th floor. The top floor. He really fancied a bit of ‘Executive Suite’ life….and just like, with a wonderous wave of the Wunna land magical wand, on Friday afternoon, at 2pm we were in an elevator, travelling up to floor 20. (I cannot thank Park Plaza, Leeds, anymore for ALWAYS making us FEEL so welcome. The service is phenomenal.)

My little boy had even built a cardboard template of Park Plaza, that he places on his window sill at night, as when the street lights shine upon it, it reflects it’s giant shadow, upon his bedroom wall. He believes that if he can see it every night, he’ll get to always go. (Awwwww.)

Ruby loves a hotel suite, yet she only agreed to go, if she could take a trip to Bubbleology, for a white peach tea. (The lady at the trinity counter wouldn’t serve her, because she said she looked six?’)

Ruby: ‘I’ll have a White Peach Tea, with Tapioca please.’ (Which she orders and gets every time.)

The lady gave us a safety talk, because she didn’t advise Ruby having an iced tea drink, with boba in it… in case she chokes???

Lady: ‘She’s got to be 8 or over.’

Me: ‘She is 8.’

Lady: ‘She doesn’t look it……’

(I looked at Ruby’s little face and she looked all rejected..So I sorted it.)

Me: ‘Well I’D like to order something for myself and I’D like a White Peach Tea, with Tapioca please.’

And just like that, it was in my hands. (I carried it with me, made a phone call and outside Karen Miller, passed it to my daughter to enjoy.)

I was asked to post my trip on my story….I absolutely didn’t.

Anyway, straight after that, before we got to our Park Plaza ‘Skyline Suite,’ we popped into Issho, which is one of my families favourite places to tinker to.

The staff love the kids. I love the staff. We’ve had the most memorable times there. I mean, Junior comes alive in that place. He’s cheeky and fun..and always orders extra Bao Buns.

Manager: ‘Are you here for 21 Bao Buns again, little one. Haha?’

This time, we stopped for a quick drink before check in. I had the ‘Tokyo Punch’ and a warm, dry sake and the kids had a Jasmin tea, from a beautiful oriental clay teapot, each. We sat and chatted life, under a giant cherry blossom tree. It was literally bliss.

The food is divine at Issho. The drinks are fresh and delicious. But most of all THE SERVICE is FIRST CLASS. (I’m a service girl. I travel, eat and stay everywhere and have done all over the world. The first thing I will rate a place ON is the service delivered. You can buy great food and drink in many places. Yet, service is something that radiates from an individual, right? I like good manners. Issho have got this in the bag. everytime i’m in Leeds, I ALWAYS pop in.)

Anyway, within a blink, we found ourselves in our Park Plaza elevator, headed to the 20th floor. When Junior put that card in the door of room 2005 & Ruby slowly pushed it open, you should’ve seen their little Asian faces. Lol.

Ruby: ‘Oh my GOD!’

The ‘Skyline Suite’ is huge, with views that travel over Leeds city for days. At night, the views are beautiful. It’s almost peaceful to witness. Oh and when i say ‘huge.’ It is probably bigger than most peoples apartments.

We had two bathrooms, a large living area, a dining table and dining area, a kitchen, a large bedroom, two showers, mirrored walls, all the amenities, a large separate bath tub, two Smart TV’s and a waterproof TV in the bath.

Just everything, you could wish for. So if you every stay at a Park Plaza and are given the option to Upgrade, PLEASE DO, you will NOT BE DISAPPOINTED. It’s amazing. Plus, this wasn’t the room that we were initially going to stay in, it was made up for us, via an upgrade.

Evening city walks, room service, movie watching, fun, laughter, warm bubble baths for the kids and luscious wine pours for me occurred. It was just wonderful.

It was magical and the perfect way to end our Easter holidays.

Breakfast in the morning was divine. Again…the staff were impeccable and it was almost as if the ‘good time’ we were having never ended. We had so much time to enjoy our ‘Skyline Suite.’

I loved it.

At noon we checked out and straight away tinkered to Yo! Sushi, which again is somewhere that we love.

The happiness & laughter that we each experienced was just beautiful. This Easter was a big Easter for us, because for the first time, in a long time, I saw BOTH Ruby & Junior BE THE HAPPIEST they had EVER BEEN. They walked into a new chapter & I hand held them straight into it with love.

Straight after I had lots going on. I had an audition, a shoot and then had to shoot over quickly via train to go to my good friend Mel’s birthday drinks.

I haven’t seen Mel in ages, so it was really good to catch up. I’ve missed her and I love her and I can’t wait to tell you all about my time on Saturday night….

Ps/ Everyone keeps asking me about my Love life. Just so you know…It’s wonderful. 🙂 🙂

Good Times, Manchester & The Art of Being Happy…

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I know! I know! It’s been ages. Don’t take my tassles off me. The kids have been off school for the last 3 weeks…and they are still. SO I kinda chose to hit ‘pause’ and just make their holidays magical, right?

More than anything, I want to be a success. I really want that. More than anything, I kinda already feel like a successful human being. (So i’m cool with that.) Yet more MORE, MORE than that, I want to make sure Ruby and Junior are filled with great childhood memories, confidence, independence and love. I mean, I don’t want to raise dodgy adults. I want them to glow with utter self love and belief.

Yipppeeee!

At 38, I know the value of everything in my life. I’m not a lost 20 something anymore. I’m at my most stable. I’m at my most ‘together.’ But don’t snooze. I’m certainly not ‘vanilla’ with it. I’m fun. I’m definitely someone who will flood my kitty body in Pina Coladas, over reading a good book, before knitting a beige cardy…ANY day. Making memories with The Wunna Babies, came above anything else on my ‘To Do’ list. I’m all grown up. It feels good. (If anything i’ve been working on THEIR Insta. I can’t for the life of me get them over five hundred and something followers. Lol. PLEASE GO FOLLOW THEM!!! @rubyandjunior. Ruby’s nagging at me every day.)

So yeah, a blog hasn’t gone out in ages. I haven’t updated all the sites that I needed to update for work. I still won work. Lost work. Got infront of work. Got behind on work. I’ve attended lots and travelled lots. Yet at the same had to postpone quite a bit or put things on a delay. But juggling babies and work isn’t easy! I always know I can make a paycheck back. So i’m not worried. Adoring them always, is something that is far more important. I know i’ll have my time…in the end. Surely? Hopefully? Haha. FFS.

I have a million blogs to write. A gazillion things to influence. I’m late on everything. I have a ton of snazzy bits of work approaching, that I’m so so excited about. I’m auditioning, (I’ve got everything crossed.) I’m shooting, (no clothes for me.)  I’m filming bits…But until Ruby & Junior are back at school…this glammy little lone parent needs to pull back the reins, before good solid ‘dollar dollar’ can be made.

I’m not a worrier…anymore. So i’m pretty confident that it’ll all be dandy.

Living my life NOT easy…That’s why I begrudge dudes who leave shitty comments online saying ‘Get a job you slut…’ blah, blah, blah….(I have one and I probably 1/Make more than you & 2/I’m actually doing something that I love. Are you? 😉 )

But anyway, I kinda had to juggle things around to make it easier on me, rather than *MOAN* about the stress. Lots of people really moan about stuff, don’t they? Yet, they often don’t DO anything about their problem?

I never understand that. I’m a doer not a chatter. I chat…yeah. But I usually chat, after my mind and heart has already sold itself to the change. I never do ANYTHING that I don’t want to do. I never ‘just make do’ with stuff, situations or people, if it doesn’t make me happy. (I’m as stubborn as they come, yet I do it so charmingly…with a smile…and tits? Haha.)

If you don’t like something in your life. Change it. Simple. As soon as you DON’T make the changes, everything around you has taken CHARGE of your actual existence and you’ve forgotten that YOU have the POWER to make anything happen in YOUR LIFE. You’ve given the power away. Makes your heart unhappy. In order to smash success, an internal happiness has got to be firmly rooted.

Don’t listen to what people say or think about you. Celebrate life….Celebrate the years you have left. Lots of people leave it to the last minute. They wait until they hear a deadline. Like ‘You only have 3 weeks to live.’ Or ‘My wife’s left me…I’m now going to do everything i’ve always wanted to do and start a bucket list.’ Or ‘I never dared do it, because I was scared of what everyone would think.’  Or, ‘I’m sixty now, I want to live./I’ve worked a shit job all my life/I never left myself fall in love./I never embraced my sexuality./I’ve lived a lie.’

All of that shit.

 Anything you do IS GREAT…even if it’s last minute and on a deadline. It’s still wonderful. You’re wonderful.  But wouldn’t it be good to just choose ‘being happy’ all the time and just naturally. Y’know to just have ‘choosing to be happy’ as a natural, normal, everyday habit…Then you don’t have to dash in quick bits of ‘happy’ before the ‘finish line,’ because you’ve spent your life enjoying really meaningful and utterly juicy, long squeezes of happiness, aaaaallllll the way through your life.

People used to say all kinds of shit about me when I was really young. But now i’m old, it’s almost like they have this great respect for me and all that I did, loved and lived by. Haha. (I got away with it. I didn’t even have to do it sober. 😉 )

But anyway. Preach over. You get it. Be happy. Live. Then call me Oprah.

Everyone’s asking me how I am. Everything’s great. I do have some ‘behind the scenes’ drama with one of the ‘Baby Daddies.’ (You all probably know who.) He just can’t stop being a plonker to his child. But the way I see life, is that everything REALLY DOES happen for a reason. Even if you can’t quite fumble around for that reason, right away. Everything DOES become clearer eventually. (And Karma really is a bitch. The people who say that KNOW, because we’ve all done something where Karma has come back and nibbled on our pretty booties.)

Lots have fun bits have happened though. I checked into Manchester last week for the ‘Mirror Image Style’ event at ‘Impossible Manchester.’ I’d never been to Impossible before. It was great. It was really great.

I love Manchester. It’s just a fun oldcity, isn’t it? Especially when it’s sunny. Plus, I got to catch up with some great girly,  old friends, who I never ever get to see that much, really.

Lissy: ‘Shit!!! It’s been almost 10 years. I love you.’ (We used to hang out after the Hilton show, years ago. She was friends with Layla. She’s been the queen of reality tv and she’s stunning. I love her.)

Marlie: ‘Hey! God yeah. So…we broke up Sam and I.’ (I love Marlie. I first met her in Leeds. She was a rep on ‘Ibiza Weekender’ and she’s always so beautiful and so much fun. Whenever I bump into her, I’m always pissed or quiet. But there’s a beauty to her, a realness and I feel like there’s both ambition and a lot of love in her soul.)

Stranger: ‘I’m sure I just saw you on First Dates.’ (Everyone said this to me, ALL night? Literally ALL night. Everyone. I must’ve taken a zillion selfies. ‘First Dates’ was a good time.)

Grace: ‘Hiya! Yeah…we met before at…It’s gin a clock. Help yaself.’ ( l love Grace. She’s sexy as hell. I first met her at Scare Kingdom at Halloween. When I walked into Aaron’s apartment, in Manchester, she was sat there with a gin, looking over her ‘Bad Bunny’ 😉 photos. She’s fun. She embraces being a woman and embraces being sexy. I love her for that. )

Daisie: ‘OMG!!! HIIII! Who are you here with!?!’ (Daisie is hilarious. She cracks me up. I loved her on ‘The Bi Life.’ She’s just ace. I spent the evening chilling with her and model Emerald. She has a really good heart does Daisie. She’s new to the industry, but deserves everything, because she’s lovely..and definitely got her boob out, by balloons.)

But most of all I got to catch up and hang with ‘da boys’ Aaron and Steve. The fellas. Right, if you don’t know. Aaron and Steve are paps. Good ones. The get all the pics, in all the press, know everybody, everything, where they are and what they’re doing. They’re good friends of mine & Our banter is ON POINT. I love them.

So I got to hang out, drink, sleep, party, chill, banter away and leave glitter everywhere for a whole afternoon and night with them…and it was amazing. They’re ace. They make me laugh. Steve had to be a getaway car at the end of the night, because someone was trying to get in the car. Both boys work SO HARD. They smash it.

Sarah, who owns Mirror Image Style (a clothing brand) has always been a dream to me. I’ve received some of the best bikini’s, dresses and allsorts from her. She even dressed me for the evening and I felt divine, I felt so goddess like.. The dress I chose was daring and I have it to post on my insta soon. She put in so much work into the night and she totally smashed it, without any drama.

The event was so glamourous. It was utterly so bouji. Every little thing had been thought of. We had a free bar, a catwalk of the new swimwear line, singers, dancers, the best goody bags alive. It was just amazing. And it was finally great to meet her.

I mean you hardly ever THESE days and because of social media, get to meet someone personally, do you! It’s not a bad thing, it’s just the way the world is headed. I choose to embrace the convenience of it. Lol. I can’t be everywhere all at once. So it helps. However, it does lessen peoples social skills and it can be quite dangerous, at times. Yet, in this moment, it made meeting someone in person an absolute treat!! And I like that. It was special. I love that personal meet ups have now become treats. Haha.

I had the best night. I was definitely the most hungover human the next morning and I definitely puked…in a kimono. Who pukes at 38!?! Why am I stupid. (I just can’t hack it anymore. Haha. How Aaron and Steve managed to get up and work at 8am, after 2 hours sleep to shoot Christine McGuiness..Paddy McGuiness’s wife is beyond me. I died, in glitter on a mattress. I got up and HAD to go back to bed, because I couldn’t sit up anymore. Aaron went to picture Faye Brookes by rubber ducks, hungover, in the blistering heat!

BONKERS.!!

I’m glad it was sunny, when I finally rose from the dead, pulled myself together and got to the train station. It made everything better. I mean, nothing is worse than feeling rough, having luggage, having to take public transport and it’s chucking it down.

The weather was bliss and because i’m solar powered, that totally worked for me.

I got on the train, had to sit at a table opposite a loving young couple.

Me: ‘I’m so sorry. I know it’s really intrusive. I’m hungover. You look like you’re on a date.’

Train girl: ‘You’re eye makeup is amazing.’

Me: ‘I don’t even remember doing it.’

Girl: ‘Don’t worry, we haven’t been on a date in ages…’

Then they both had a fun quibble.

Me: ‘Sorry..I’ve come, been intrusive and then ruined your entire relationship all at once. Haha.’

Guy: ‘She’s 19 weeks pregnant. Shes hormonal. Lol.

I travelled all the way home… The next stop was Doncaster.

‘Things Not To Say To…

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The amazing thing about life, is that in a second you can sort of ‘blink’ and find yourself in a completely different place, a completely different world, a completely different position, or a completely different chapter. It’s at the point, (after you’ve *blinked* and looked around) that you’re kinda expected to just ‘get on with it.’

Some of us will choose to panic and fill our hearts with fear, as we place on a party hat, that reads nothing but ‘PITY.’ Some will just ride the wave of ‘the unknown,’ keeping everything crossed, as they tinker through a ‘haze.’ Some will lose the plot. Y’know, just go bonkers. Haha.  Others will fight, stand tall and come up with a solution or a method of life survival.

Which one are you? You can be more than one?

But that’s not the point, i’ve *blinked* loads, all over the world and found myself in a ZILLION different positions, chapters, places or situations. Some so wonderful, that I couldn’t even believe my luck. Some so terrifying…that I couldn’t even believe I was stupid enough to sacrifice myself THAT MUCH. Y’know, get myself into that much trouble.

My *blinks* have been extreme.

I’ve *blinked* and found myself walking a red carpet in LA, at a movie premiere. I’ve *blinked* and found myself walking into my home, as a bundle of half dressed, drunk drag queens cried and guzzled cocktails on my West Hollywood sofa… in pyjamas. I’ve *blinked* and found myself at an audition for a million popular tv shows. I’ve *blinked* and found myself waking up next to a stranger, who I didn’t really know, or even really like that much. I’ve *blinked* and found myself giving birth twice. (The first time I had a camera in my face. The second time happened so quickly, I almost seemed like a ‘rush.’) I’ve *blinked* and found myself playing phone roulette, on an orange, office swizzle chair.

I’ve *blinked* and found myself waking up, on my own, in a dark hotel room. That’s happened many times, across the world, over and over again. I’ve *blinked* and found myself crowded by people, as I strut onto a stage, to an applauding audience, whilst accepting some award, for some achievement. I’ve *blinked*and found myself on a blind date, at the ‘First Dates’ restaurant, as millions of people watched on. I’ve *blinked* and found myself serving coffee’s to the locals, in a blue shirt, with a smile. I’ve *blinked* and found myself shooting for Playboy, in NO shirt (haha,) but STILL with the same old smile. I’ve *blinked* and read good things about me. I’ve *blinked* and read bad things about me. I’ve *blinked* and found myself at my OWN wedding THREE different times. Lol. (Infact no…FOUR. I married the first guy twice. We had two ceremonies, because we had secretly got married before our BIG wedding, yet didn’t want to tell anyone.)

I’ve *blinked* and found myself in a ‘tu tu’ as a ballerina on a UK stage. I’ve *blinked* and found myself in a US jail cell, with 14 other women, in blue.

I’ve *blinked* and found myself the happiest I could ever be! So happy, that I happy danced and squealed, as I jumped up and down in my bedroom with excitement.

 I’ve *blinked* and found myself…homeless….in New York…Times Square.

A couple months ago I travelled down to London, to film a little something for the BBC. The day before I had actually been in Surrey, to see ‘DBear.’ I travelled home (back up north) late that day to make sure I managed to see Ruby & Junior and tuck them into bed, with love and laughter. But then after a couple hours sleep, I was up and changed and on a train back to London, to film a little piece about homelessness.

I met some of the most wonderful guys and had the most wonderful cheeky life conversations with them in the ‘green room’ before it was my turn to film. A young guy, filled with ambition, who loved horses, idolised his father, loved Guinness and wanted to own a funeral parlour one day. Another guy, who was my actual filming partner who once had everything, then… lost everything. He also once got arrested for destroying a cardboard box and was kind enough to walk me, all the way to my train, to make sure I was safe.

We were three EXTREMELY different people, waiting to film…(Some were in the studio filming, whilst we chatted.) We were three extremely different people, from three really different walks of life.

We had one thing in common…

..and that was…the simple fact, that at some point in our life….we had ALL been homeless.

The funny thing about it, is that NOT ONE OF US, actually felt sorry for ourselves. There’s wasn’t a single soul there, who whopped out the old ‘violin’ and started milking a story of torture. Lol. Infact,  there was a warm giggle of laughter to the air. So much laughter, the producer kept having to come out and tell us to ‘SSShhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.’

 It was almost like we had a funny story to tell, of a really hard time. It was so hard, that we managed to find the humour in it all. (I call that strength.)

There was a difference though…because I guess luck had given me a *wink* and shined its magical stars upon me…I had a different kind of destiny. One that put me here… to THIS *blink*, where i’m now sitting in the lap of ‘self made’ luxury…yet still hoping to inspire.

The guys had MORE strength, because some of them, were STILL ACTUALLY HOMELESS. (I know Paul, the guy I filmed with CERTAINLY was.)

It was the greatest time. We shared so many stories. There was just so much light and happiness in the room, because we all just ‘got it.’ We all just understood one another.

So i’d like to say, how grateful I was to firstly join the ‘Things Not To Say To..’ team. The crew and production were phenomenal. (If I can do anything it’s banter! I’m much more than a Pepperami stick with eyelashes and tits. They got that! Thank you. 😉 ) Secondly, I made some great friends. I’m so happy I met them. I have all the time in the world for these guys. What beautiful souls. They had the funniest tales. It was just the best time. (And Paul, you are HILARIOUS!!!! Who thought we’d have the same sense of humour!) THIRDLY, I love to break down JUDGEMENTS, don’t I! But I like to do it a light hearted, comedic way. I’m not a sob story…I’m not an aggressive person. I’m a cheeky, northern, exotic looking… DIVA. (Goldilocks had three bears. I had three gins.)

Here’s a little PEEK, of some ‘THINGS NOT TO SAY TO THE HOMELESS…’

(Hit ‘Play.’ I think we’re currently on around 22,000 views. If it hits 100,000 views, I’ll do some kind of sexy forfeit on Insta.)