Life, Stress & Lovey Vibes

Happy weekend! You made it through. Hope you’re well? If you found yourself here, may I wish you the loveliest & most blessed few days.

I’ve just come off a ‘drama’ phone call…So I’m trying to find my little piece peace of ‘Zen,’ y’know instead of giving in, to a mist of absolute, utter RAGE! Lol.

It’s weird because my world is literally & usually filled with so much love. However, I’ve noticed that the more popular I become…(even if it’s only the TINIEST, little nudge up that rickety, old, success ladder, ) the MORE people decide to ‘drama’ on into it. I’m feisty. Yes. Yet only when I have to be. I don’t go about dishing out ‘feist.’ It takes it out of me because I don’t like to waste time on negativity or anger.

I mean, someone actually went out of their jolly, misguided way, to try and threaten Ruby & I this morning??? Eh?? Is everyone nuts? You can’t force yourself upon us? Plus, how do you expect us to let you into our world or our hearts, when you approach us with ya ‘crazy pants’ on!!! We don’t like it at all…We couldn’t be MORE open hearted or understanding. However, there is a line.

Don’t be nuts.

You also THEN shouldn’t see it as a challenge or a ‘curve ball,’ because the reaction you got wasn’t what you maybe expected. I mean, today, the drama was followed up with ridicule, jealousy, assumptions, disrespect & hate, after the mild rejection. What is wrong with people?

I looked at Ru….and she was calm, but stern. She tilted her eyes up at me. She does that when she wants me to sort it. So I did.

But it’s getting ridiculous. It’s almost like we’re now having to block everyone out of our world…and only let the sane ones through, just so we stay safe, happy & free from stress. Lol. Thankfully there’s loads of sane people and many great friends. In fact so many people that I’m grateful for.

However, when a ‘crazy’ comes in, it’s exhausting & stressful. My head fuzzes up. It’s a time waster. My worst thing. Especially when we’ve got so much stuff to do.

But i’ll tell you that, the ‘crazies’ appear in many different forms. My WORST ‘Crazies’ are usually the males that I’ve dated before. The better I do. The more uncomfortable they weirdly feel? I don’t even know why because this can happen after YEARS have passed. Anyway, their life hasn’t maybe panned out accordingly, so they then try to pop into Wunna land with full-force, no idea, all the gear DRAMA.

Go away!!! You are not welcome, until you are calm and happy! You’re ‘cancelled.’

I don’t get it? I would NEVER drama into someone’s world? Why bother? The attention you get is negative.

There’s been a lot going on in Wunna Land. Luckily, most of it positive, so I couldn’t be more grateful. As always there’s been auditions and general life dandies. I’m sure you’re sick of me saying that!

I start a film in August and I’ve also just joined the cast of ‘Series of Light.’ I’m so excited and completely delighted. I actually got written into the second series of it by request of the Director. This was after he was keen to have me in the first series, but I couldn’t do it because of clashing filming dates. I was heartbroken.

Luckily, fate shined it’s dusty, little, old light on me. I just feel so blessed to have joined the cast. It’s a really wonderful time.

I’ve also been tiktoking and Insta posting a lot, in between the good old ‘ hustle,’ the line learning and the work, simply to de-stress a little. It’s weird because my day job IS to perform. Yet, my sense of escapism, away from any personal or work stress, is also to perform? I don’t know whether it’s escapism or my way of distracting you?

It’s kinda been a busy couple weeks, as everything flies back to normal. I certainly feel like one of those GREAT, hardcore single mums. (I’m smashing it and loving it.) Ruby & Junior are the happiest kids, in all the ‘Summer holiday’ land. 🙂 Homeschool is done and the respect I have for teachers is now forever embedded in my soul. Haha

However, there’s hard bits, i’m juggling my work, the kids and….well… most of you know, that I have a bit of a stressful ‘thing,‘ a situation… going on behind the glittery doors of Wunna Land. So obviously, i’ve therefore been making sure the littlest Wunna, my baby boy Junior, is filled to the brim with love and support…as he’s currently going through…well….

I can’t tell you the story yet, can I? I can’t tell you anything about it. But one day i’ll be able to…and when I finally can, life will not only have awarded Ruby, Junior and I with complete happiness…Yet also the faith in life, love, peace, justice and closure. I couldn’t be more proud of the babies. I watch them and i can’t believe how strong, loving and decent they’ve turned out so far.

They’re my world.

I know i’ve been moaning, but on the whole things have been great today.?(The ice-cream van didn’t come though. So that bit of the day was shit. Fish and chips did show up, so life perked up threefold.)

But i wanna ‘paper scrunch‘ all that for now and over arm, throw it, into a trash can, for a second.

Let’s breathe because I ’m genuinely feeling good.

I hope you are toooo!

I’m reading all your comments, on my ‘socials’ throughout my day and they’ve made me beam. What great support! What absolute love! (Apart from the dude that’s just written ‘Am I the only person who doesn’t think she looks good lately?’) You’re a douche. 🙂 Everyone else though…You’re amazing! Haha.

I don’t know how i’ve ended up with such a life? But i’m really thankful for it. It’s almost as if a dream comes true, every minute. I count my blessings. I dont take any of it for granted. I don’t even have my fingers crossed anymore, because I know life’s got my back.

I’m smiling. 🙂 I’m happy.

The biggest thing you all seem to ask me about is my love life and mainly because no-one can understand how I can be so unlucky in love? Either that, or i’m being asked out? All very flattering.

To the ones that have followed by blog for 10 years…or even before that, when I wrote my diary on Myspace, for years. (It of course got deleted by a guy I was dating at the time. Yippee.. I hate that.)

In the past i’ve been really unlucky. Yes. But right now, i feel pretty lucky. I’m single. But i’m not making those stupid and dashingly foolish decisions anymore.

Do I have a crush on anyone right now? Yes. That feeling is always exciting.

But I’d never say who because of the utter fear it gives me. Haha.

I think these days I just automatically assume that a crush wouldn’t really care. Haha. I’m pathetic I know. So I never tell them. They have to do all the stressful leg work and make it all very clear, so I feel all very safe. Haha.

I’m confident. Yes. So I don’t mean that I don’t think they wouldn’t ‘FANCY’ me back…They’d fancy me. ( God. I am cringing at myself!!) What I assume is that they wouldn’t truly care or utterly value me really…in the long run? I don’t know why I think that? But it’s true. So I shy away until they’ve spelled it all out and I know that I no longer have to proceed with caution.

Annnd breatheeeee….

I mean love can’t be that hard surely? Two people, attracted to one another. They decide to fall in love. They do. They look after and care for one another. Done! Why am I finding it so difficult?

Everyone’s also asking me about age preferences? I’m old. I’m 39. I don’t cancel people out via their age…However Ofcourse, they couldn’t be ‘young, young, young.’ I’m too emotionally grown for ‘young, young, young.’

I also get asked about ‘distance’ and love. Long distance relationships never bother me. Infact I really enjoy them! More of an effort is made because of the distance. You get to know one another over time. A lot of true respect, and value is put into everything & you appreciate them, at the same time as feeling free. You never feel suffocated.

Plus, we’re not in the ‘higgle-piggle’ olden days. You can FaceTime anyone and if the chemistry is magical, it feels as though they’re right there with you.

Right, I need to go de-stress.

Love you lots,

Chrissie x

Getting things straight…

What a day!! Mental! So, Ruby was ill. Head to toe in an allergy rash, that just seemed to be continually eroding away at her baby flesh, right in front of my very eyes.. We had to rush to the Doctors and get her treated up. It broke my heart, because she’s never ill. She’ll always just say she’s ‘fine.’ She’s one of them. I even cried.

Then I had to take Junior into school LATE because I managed to get all of my days mixed up. The rash thing through me. It caught me off guard. I received an email asking where he was because they were all expecting him. I jumped up in a panic and got him there immediately.

All sorted. All done. Everyone was happy!

Then drama decided to swing it’s knickers into Wunna Land…and well, it’s been one of those days, that you just need to ‘cancel,’ START OVER, or laugh at…because surely it can’t get any worse?

It’s 7pm and it’s only just turned out alright. There was even a moment where I just hit ‘pause,’ closed my sober as hell eyes and hoped that when I opened them… life had swirled back to magical.

It didn’t switch back to magical. It was just ‘okay.’

I’ve learnt a lot in 2020. Even before this whole Corona Virus pandemic, took the reins.

Things are changing for the better in Wunna Land. This year, all those mistakes that I ‘learnt at the time,’ yet certainly remained MAKING once in a while, y’know, whenever i lost my grounding, footing, decided to trust the wrong people, felt lonely, felt pitiful Let’s just say whenever i was foolish.

This year GREAT things are happening to me. This year is the year i grew up, the mist rose, I grew some extra balls and understood everything clearly. In fact, great things are happening to Ruby & Junior also. We all feel really lucky. It’s a really positive time. In a way I wish you could all peek into Wunna land properly, as obviously, right now it’s had to be somewhat guarded…just for a little more privacy. We’ve had all sorts happen to us.

However, being the Queen of the shindig, I’m noticing that as ‘lockdown’ is slowly easing off and life steadily dances back to some kind of normality, a small push of pressure and a wee bit of stress is smoke whirling back onto our glorious grounds.

Yet, that’s how life goes, I need to take the changes by the balls.

Work wise! I’m finally getting a lot more ‘actory’ questions in on my Insta daily Q&A. I like all the questions. Yet when they turn ‘actory,’ you know business is brewing. Things are starting to roll…Things are beginning to move.

I know it looks like all i’ve done is Tiktok, all day long. Haha. (And again, thank you for all your support. I get so much love on there.) Yet, the real story is, I’m not that silly. I’m a really focused girl. I need to stop referring to myself as a ‘girl.’ I’m a WOMAN now.

I know what matters to me. I know what I want. I’ve prioritized well and behind the scenes, i’ve personally been working really hard. I’ve been on daily zoom meetings, one to one castings. I’ve been networking. I’ve acted and practiced techniques and performed scenes every single day. I’ve been putting monologues on tape. I’ve been in discussions with Rob, who’s probably one of the best agents i’ve met so far and he gets it because he too did his time in LA. His vibe, his manner, his contact list and negotiation skills are first class. I’m falling into lucky hands.

I’ve done a lot…but behind the scenes. It’s almost been like a Rocky Balboa training sesh. I’m just someone who believes that you have to be ready, when opportunity comes a knocking. That’s with anything. If you’re not ready and I am, you’re not gonna win. You’re gonna lose the opportunity. It will go to someones else and you’ll have no-one to blame but yourself.

That’s something that doesn’t sit well with me. I can’t stand it. Can you? That ‘shouldda/couldda‘ vibe.

So, I sat down and I reflected. Saw my weaknesses. Saw my strengths. I was really honest about how good or bad I was at things. I worked hard and changed things around, every single day, until I got it right. Not just with acting. With everything!

So, as always, i’m being the ‘hero’ of my own story and i’m encouraging you to be too.

The only reason why I write my story, is simply so it inspires. If someone skims it one day…and reads something that gives them a reality check, or makes them smile…Then the diary’s done it’s job.

I’ve stopped accepting requests for promo on the blog because it started to feel ‘plastic.’ I’m not ‘plastic.’ I simply want to write a diary. Jot down my memories. Tell my story! Everyone’s story is so important. This is mine.

You’ll have noticed that during lockdown i didn’t write at all. I couldn’t blog. I wanted to, but it just never happened. I couldn’t and because it didn’t feel like me anymore. I needed the vibe to change. I wanted it to change.

I didn’t want to tell you about the latest brand of toothpaste that will make your teeth the sparkliest. I’m not a little girl anymore. Like i’ve just said, i’m a woman and god I have a story to tell.

I’m an actress. I’m a mother. I’m single and so many things inbetween. There’s gonna be times when i’m happy. There’s certainly times when i’m sad. I wanna tell you that story. My real story. My truth. Without censorship, judgement…just none of the bullshit. Y’know, just how it used to be.

There are times when i’m up and times when i’m down, but that’s what makes us all human. That’s what we have in common. It’s our life link.

So, last week, through to yesterday, i’d been auditioning a lot. I’d been working on characters. I’d been learning my lines.

To be honest since the lockdown ease up, I’ve been auditioning a lot. I feel really grateful. The sun is definitely shining on my side of the street and if i’m being honest, i’m not sure how some actors haven’t at least been on ONE audition in all that time?

Everyone’s asking me the ‘but how’ question? All i can say is, it’s a mixture of my agent, the simple fact that I worked my arse off networking, when everyone was baking brownies, cuddling up to their boyfriends, or learning Spanish (do note…they’re all great things..yet not things that would’ve helped me after lockdown) and now…long story short… my August is fully booked with work! (And everyone’s asking how?)

No-one saw all that. They just watched me grind to a tiktok trend. (Which is actually the most fun ever! 🙂 Some liked it. Some didn’t. Most did though. So it’s always a pleasure. 🙂

My Mum: ‘Well it’s good yeah. But i expect you to dance around for 15 seconds and have a million men like it, watch it and love it. They always do. Next week, when you tell me you’ve booked that feature film…you’ll see me extremely excited & proud.’

My mum’s ace!! I love her.

But going back…I’m really inspired by those who are successful. I learn from them. I don’t copy them. I listen to them because you need your own niche. If you duplicate someone, you’re just a shitter version of them. Lol.

Anyway, during this time in my life…i’m noticing how close and powered on I am, by my LA friends. It’s like we’re made of the same stuff and mainly because we understand each other’s stories. We were there, trying to muscle it out, in the toughest town for ‘muscling,’ both emotionally AND in the enteratinment industry.

I love them because they don’t sugar coat things. They tell it how it is. They’re positive, yet speak the truth. They’re not scared to.

I’ve had a week of really big auditions and if I get one of them…it’s a dream come true. Next week is my week of ‘finding out.’ Plus, I have two other auditions during that week.

I know that dreams come true. I’ve watched them come true in others and had them materialize in my own world. So i’m cool with that. I believe in that. I try to make Ruby & Junior’s dreams, no matter how big or small come true… when called upon, so they believe in dreams materializing too.

Anyway, the day before I read…I had a really successful actor/produced/director… turn around and remind me (…when I was participating in my own pity party) that was ‘LUCK’ was overrated.

‘…learn the dang lines and have fun,’ is how the convo ended.

It’s true. I wish upon stars, but let#s keep it real at the same time.

You’ve got to work so hard, that they can’t say ‘no.’ Be so prepared for anything, that you know you’ve can handle shit as soon as you walk through the door. Be real. Be kind. Have fun. SUCCEED on purpose.

Then i stopped worrying. I read the DM and smirked. It almost ignited that young me. That fire. I always have that fire, yet it needed to blaze.

I read it out to Ruby and she smirked back at me, like she got it.

(Sorry, one second. Junior’s had a full roast chicken. A giant one to himself, in his pants for tea. He now wants blackcurrant jelly. 🙂 )

I’m back…

So, after my pep talk, I taped my audition the following day….and i’ll always tell you when I think i’ve done shit. Nothing’s worse by the way. But IT FELT GOOD. It felt really good because I knew i’d done all that I could. No excuses.

As humans, when you know that you’ve done all that you could, you’re at peace with yourself, right? You have no regrets. You hold your head up high because no matter what, it’s now out of your hands. It’s stress free. There was not a single other thing you could’ve brought to the mix or the situation. There’s a power that comes with that feeling.

So, if you have a dream come true and I read this on @wordporn on Insta this morning…it doesn’t matter how old or young you are? How mended or broken you feel…?You can make changes and start over at any point. It’s your life. People can say what they want. They’re not in charge of your life.

All you need is the right mindset. The right love in your soul. The correct support and fucking hell, I’ve even learnt that you can do it without a wine.

😉

ps/

Ruby’s just walked in…

‘Mum. If i say I love you right now…after a fight…will you always remember that I do and say it to me.’

‘Of course, I will baby. You look beautiful.’

‘I love you, Mama. Is there any toffee left?’

And that my darlings, is Thursday.

Sunday Chills, Judgements & Love letters…

Hello everyone! I’ve had a good day and I hope you have to. Whether you’ve woken up after a dinner nap in the UK, or if you’ve just peeked through your morning blinds in Australia, Africa or LA…WELCOME!

Pull up a ‘pew,’ get comfy and enjoy.

Okay, so firstly, I want to tell you that, last night, I hit my first 2 MILLION VIEW milestone on Tiktok. I can’t even believe it! But again I couldn’t thank you all enough for watching, commenting and just making me smile, on a daily. It means so much to me, to be able to perform for you and have you enjoy it. Especially since ‘lockdown’ had me closed up indoors. Therefore i’m certainly grateful and well…hopefully well keep this foxtrot a float.

(One second…I’m dying for chocolate and i can’t find chocolate in the house ANYWHERE!?! WHAT KIND OF RESIDENCE IS THIS? I’ve created a disturbingly weird ‘healthy hell.’ All i need is a chunk of choccie…)

Okay, i’m back! I found a ‘Cookies & Cream’ Kit Kat.

So, yesterday I filmed and put my ‘wipe it down’ video online and it was received really well because I ended up in a corset.

Some people were shocked (because they strangely thought I was ‘sooo sweet & innocent.) Some were not (because they either know me personally or have followed Wunna land throughout the years and they’re aware of my somewhat ‘colourful’ past.) Most were excited and I was really pleased because all the comments were positively, wonderful.

What I will say though (to the ones that were a little shocked by it) is that people AREN’T just ONE thing. I’m certainly not. I’m a bit of everything and that’s what makes me interesting.It’s what makes everyone interesting. You shouldn’t automatically ‘label’ people and it’s weird how it still happens all of the time. Surely we’re all grown now? We need to be able to see the bigger picture…always.I don’t how people can’t seem to do that? I’ve been able to do it since I was 7.

In case you didn’t know, I get labelled all of the time and I’m aware i’m in a career, y’know an industry where ‘labelling’ does occur. I get that, because we’re playing particular roles. I try not to get pigeon holed, when it comes to acting…and i’ve made sure i’ve experienced and played out as many different roles as possible.

However, away from work and when it comes to my personal life, be it socially or in love… I do feel like i get quite PRE-judged, by those who haven’t met me in person, or those who are about to have me strut into their world.

Even when i expect it, it’s still really awkward. Imagine having a whole room of people, gossip about you and then as you strut in, they smile sweetly, say nothing but lovely things and assume you can’t read their eyes, or you haven’t heard anything through the grapevine.

This can also go the other way, where people expect me to be all fun, glitzy and glammy, only to find that i’m just chilled, normal or in a kimono.

But i’m rambling…What i’m trying to say is try not to prejudge ANYONE. Wait until you have the opportunity to get to know them over time.

People aren’t just one thing.

I’m loud, but i’m quiet. I’m sweet, but i’m sexy. I can be selfish. However i can also be the most generous person alive. I’m wild and exotic. Yet i’m British and sensible. Just lots of things.

I mean, just because a girl is stood in a corset…It doesn’t make her ammunition to be gummy labelled with a derogatory ‘slap.’

Men: ‘She must be a slut.’

Woman: ‘She’s such a tramp. How disgusting that she’d show herself off like that.’

Others: ‘She’s just another *plastic.*’

Potential Date: ‘I can’t ask her out now. She’s a diva. She’ll just say no.’

Folk: ‘She’s just too intimidating.’

Insta Stalkers: ‘Girls like that aren’t looking for anything serious.’

I don’t know why i’m even going on about this, because everyone was so lovely about my ‘wipe it down’ video…Haha.

Yet it wasn’t always that way, was it? So i guess it gives me ‘flash backs.’ Plus, online i see people hating on others ALL OF THE TIME and it winds me up. They make THEMSELVES look so narrow minded and they don’t even see it?

Luckily, these days it seems like I can’t do anything wrong and i’m really grateful for that because i’ve powered through the difficult times.

I guess when you’re older and you’ve done things, y’know lived a bit of a life..I guess there’s this weird kinda respect that people, all of a sudden, ‘have for you.

I’m not gonna lie…

I’m love it.

But enough of that. Let’s move it along. Everyone’s asking me if i have a crush? The ‘i’m single’ thing has now embedded into everyones system…and we’ve now moved onto the…

‘but who does she fancy?’

If i did have a crush…I’d never ever say who? They would never even know themselves? (I’m good like that. Haha.) In fact, the only person i would ever discuss it with, would probably be Ruby my daughter. Lol.

We were actually chatting about it earlier. We laughed about the times when she was younger and if she hated the guy I was dating, she would put small sharp, toys like ‘Sylvanian Families’ in his shoes to annoy him. When he dashed to put them on, he’d scream in pain…but then have to act like she was all cute and nice, to make a good impression. Haha. Plus, i’d have a go at them if they were mean to either Wunna Baby.

Anyway, our chatter about my love life got cut short because she ended up getting an allergic reaction to deodorant and her entire body was covered in the most hidieously, rashy, red, lumpy blisters.

This is what my love life does to people. It gives them allergies.

Maybe i’m better off alone?

But I always think life’ll just hand me over Mr.Right, at the exact right time. All i have to do, is concentrate on work…Get on with living my life and as the fairytale goes…he’ll gallop on in, on his horse and shit, telling me how much he adores me. Right?

It doesn’t matter to me where they are in life right now? What country their in? What they do for a living? I thin we’ve ALL learnt this year that ANYTHING can happen, to anyone, at any point.

2020 has served.

When the time is right and as i’m toddling along…all the elements will shimmie into place and ‘BOOM’ he’ll show up.

Erm..whatelse? Oh yeah..people are also asking me what my favourite gift ever is. I like ‘bouji’ things, but i’m quite a simple girl. I love an experience, over ‘stuff.’

My first husband Mike…the actor, (before he started doing really well, booking everything & making loads of money,) well he once snapped a twig, off a tree at 3am , one morning, outside a bakery, in New York. Night was turning to morning. I still have that twig.

I also remember, Boyband Jonny…over a decade ago. We were dating for a bit and I had stayed the night at his Camden flat. In the morning, I got into a nearby black cab.

Me: ‘Kings Cross Station, Please.’

I wound the window down a little, as he was waving something at me?

He handed me a note, that had been folded into quarters and then waved me off.

As the cabbie drove me to the station, I unfolded the note and it read:

Dear Chrissie, I know that I might not show it all the time, but when i’m with you my heart lights up with joy. I love you. Jonny.’

He’s gay and happy now… 🙂

July 4th, LA Memories & Thirst Traps..

Hi. How are you all? Hope you’re well. It’s July 4th. If you’re American, Happy Independence Day. I miss all my US friends, who i made so many amazing memories with, so badly. But I have them in my head and heart. Plus, i’ve seen you all, whenever you’ve flown through to England.

A zillion years ago, I arrived into LAX on July 4th and started my Hollywood journey, with nothing but a suitcase in my hand and that little bit of Yorkshire hope. After serving my decade in Los Angeles, i’m now back in the UK. I’m happy. But i loved my time there and who knows, one day I might ‘blink’ and find myself walking up 3rd and Kings once more.

I did so much in that time. Carved a career. Made some lifetime friends. Worked hard. Played harder. Made those dreams come true. I mean, I went from Stage school on a Saturday morning in Yorkshire, to all of a sudden walking into Warner Bros, Paramount and everywhere else, with my sides in my hand and a hope that i’d get the job. It was so much fun. I had a hard time. But the best time. I feel really lucky. Fair enough i made a lot of mistakes. I even managed to get divorced a couple times. I laughed a lot. I cried a lot. I told my story. But i did it. I lived my Hollywood dream and as long as you’re doing the things that make your heart smile, then you can never ever go wrong.

That town turned this little Asian/Yorkshire girl into a real woman.

So, Happy July 4th to all my dearest friends.

Also, to my UK people in ‘da house,’ If you have a business that re-opened for the first time today, I hope it went or IS going WELL! I send you all my love. I mean ‘lockdown’ effected everyone and certainly still is. We’re actually remaining safe here in Wunna land. However, i’m sure the babies and I will find ourselves tinkering to our favourite restaurants again soon.

Ruby and Junior (The Wunna Babies) have found a whole new kind of peace, y’know a solace at home, just chilling…and in a way, i’m really happy about it because like i said, we were close anyway, but now we couldn’t be tighter. It’s lovely.

Other than that….I’m Tiktoking…and I’ve kinda stuck to it because I love it. My followings growing slowly but surely. I’m almost at 2 million views. But that aside…(I mean i’m an oldie…i don’t need a giant follow count…) I’m genuinely adoring getting up there, out there, hitting the red record button and just performing. Everyone’s been so lovely to me on there and I couldn’t be more grateful. So thank you if you’re watching and thank you to the ‘sponsors’ who are knocking on the doors of Wunna Land to help promo their goods. I sincerly appreciate it.

I will say that i spent last night, eating an entire tub of ‘Chocolate Cherry Garcia’ ice-cream, by Ben & Jerry’s, whilst laid on my bed, in my little silky, soft kimono, watching ‘stud’ lesbians on my FYP. Haha.

I’m not kidding. I’m mesmerized by them. They’re amazing. I couldn’t fancy them more! Haha. I might just decide to be a lesbian during lockdown, because i swear, some of them are giving dudes a proper run for their money!

Lots of chicks have like a male celeb crush. When we’re chatting, we’ll all decide we fancy, I dunno…’David Beckham’ or ‘Chris Hemsworth?’ The usual ‘go to’s.’ But then, someone says…

‘Who’s ya girl crush?’

Then chicks’ll name girls like ‘Michelle Keegan’ or….’Michelle Keegan.’ (Haha..) But MINE and if you know me personally, you will know that my girl crush HAS ALWAYS been Ellen Degeneres. No joke. No word of a lie!

Now, after ice-cream and tiktoks, i’ve added Ria Demiri to the rosta. Ria is taking over Tiktok and making every single straight woman question their sexuality. Haha. I love it.

So there you have it, i’m single. All my ‘milkshake’ has certainly brought all the boys to my yard, kinda in a glitzy ‘dumper truck,’ which empties out on my cyber lawn daily. I’m a thousand percent grateful. I know there’s a soul mate in there somewhere. However, I might decide to just fancy chicks, if Mr. Right doesn’t show up with a badge on. I’m getting ‘thirst trapped’ on Tiktok by the lesbians and it ain’t so bad. Haha.

Away from that, back in the straight world. I keep going on about how i’m single, yet like i said, it’s not a bad thing. I like it. I’m happy. Yeah, i’m getting a lot of attention, but all girls do, i think?

However, quantity doesn’t mean quality. It doesn’t mean that i’m valued, does it? It just means that I’m just fancied and at 39, you know that.

What i’m looking for IS TO BE VALUED.

It’s not what guys says, it’s what they do and it’s certainly not a ‘numbers game’ to me. I’m not a child. It’s not a game at all. When choosing a partner, i’ll choose right this time…and i’ll do it steadily.

I’ve noticed though, that i’m not one to make the first move. i’m a confident girl, yet i never ever EVER slide into anyone’s dms or smooth on in.

I don’t know whether it’s because i’m old fashioned and i’m allowed to be because i’m 40 in December. There’s nothing like being a gentleman to win my heart. The amount of adult men trying to be fuck boys is not only laughable, but also odd to me? I see them as lost. Or not lost, just not on the same page as me, when it comes to the book of love. I’m not judging. I’ve been there. I mean my guy friend (Dylan) in LA, once said, during spagetti eating..

‘You’re on Page 2 Chrissie, when i’m on page 98.’

🙂

Anyway, I don’t know whether, i refrain from making the first move because I fear rejection, i have too much choice, i’m just not too bothered or i’ve just seen and heard a lot, that i want them to strut on in, like some kind of hero, filled with confidence and show me that they’re serious? I dunno?

Plus, i have a distorted view on marriage and stuff like that, because well…I’ve been there and got the divorce -tshirt, three times over. I’m doing well now…and the last thing i want is heartache and drama when The Wunna Babies are now so happy at home.

ALSO, i’m kind of feeling weird about the amount of ‘happily married men,’ so happy that they’re literally posting joyous, ‘i love my wife’ pictures on their Instagram pages…but then sending me a DM of their penis, 3 minutes afterward. Or asking me out, to meet up?

That’s not how i see or imagined marital bliss and I’m also ‘ain’t nobodies mistress.’ I’m not foolish enough to fall for it….at my age.

However, again I don’t judge them because i’ve definitely been in marriages before, where happiness hasn’t necessarily flown it’s flag. I didn’t know what to do. I felt suffocated.

Plus, I don’t actually lose any respect for them, for going on a DM slide. I get it.

But what makes me question their soul, or their manner is the simple fact that they’re humans, who are obviously not happy. But obviously aren’t brave enough to make a change, or go it alone.

That’s the part I don’t like. I don’t entertain it. I don’t like a scaredy cat. I also don’t think that disrespecting the person you claim to love is ever beautiful. If you don’t like something…change it. If you can’t, then get on with what you got and do it happily, without moaning or breaking their heart everyday, without them realizing.

Right?

I always say, in my life, i’ve NEVER made the best our of a bad bargain for long, because i know I only have one life to live.

I’m about to turn 40 in five months. It’s a bit of a shock to some, yet to me, not at all. It’s an absolute comfort. I don’t feel 25. I feel 39 and GOD it feels SO GOOD.

I’ve finally woken up and realised i’m a woman, a full ass, grown up woman, with values and confidence. I’m filled to the absolute brim with love and i’m excited to see where my next chapter takes me.

I believe we live in chapters.

I’ve been toddling along in lockdown with the rest of the world and i’ve kinda been concentrating on my career…which means so much to me.

Yeah, all the sets have been closed, but they’re now slowly re-opening, so i’m delighted. Of course it’s moving at a much slower pace. However, i’ve been auditioning, almost every few days. Rob…(who is the best agent in all the land… I’m repped by the ‘Imperial Artists Agency,’ in London, well he’s been checking in on me, to get me the best deals in town (haha) to baby step up to the next level.

I’m really grateful.

So work wise, my August is almost nearly fully booked up with work. If I book the feature, that i’ve now done all my callbacks for…..then my August looks pretty snazzy!

I’m really exciting.

Could 2020, still be my year?

Am I single?

Am I single? YES…and I’m happy. That doesn’t mean I’m not open to finding love. I’d love to bump into Mr.Right or ignite new chemistry with new friends, who might wish to explore…a ‘little more.’

All it means is that I don’t feel like there’s an empty void in my life. Ever. I’m a single mum. I’m home with Ruby & Junior. I’m working my dream job…and the Wunna land bubble just seems to be filled TO THE BRIM with SO MUCH love, so much excitement…that I never ever feel alone or without it?

In my mind…this is a good thing because people kinda strut into relationships or hookups, or hook ups that they thought were relationships…before they feel ‘full.’ (I’ve done that so many times over & over in my life.) What I’ve learnt is that the ‘fullness’ is essential and something that you have to feel and BE BEFORE you start tinkering into some kind of ‘forever’ match.

The reason being because you’ll zap up all the other persons energy. You’ll use up their flame because you weren’t FULLY lit. You’ll breathe in ALL of their air, to the point where you’ll end up feeling lost and they’ll feel utterly suffocated. All because you weren’t full, so you weren’t ready. You still had those little pieces missing and either didn’t acknowledge that wee bit of ‘empty’ or you didn’t wait…until the time was right! (I’ve been a sucker for not waiting!) But you really shouldn’t ever hope that your new potential partner is there to fix all your problems. That isn’t love. It’s a whole different thing! The bear to that dance is off.

But yeah, because I feel so full and feel so happy, it’s great because I’m not looking to steal someone’s air, or have someone steal mine, i’m looking to and for (and a great friend once told me this..) a ‘life enhancer.’ I wanna share strength not dwell in weakness.

Meaning, I’d want to enhance and give to my future partners life in some way, instead of take…and vice versa.

That way everyone is happy. There’s utter balance. The quality of love is real and magical…and it’s brilliant.

I’m not meaning to sound ‘preachy.’ I’m a spiritual ‘wish upon stars’ kinda girl, so I’m not sure why I’ve delivered it so sensibly?

I’ve just been in so many previous relationships, marriages…all sorts…with guys from all different walks of life…all over the world. I’ve experienced a lot. I’ve had wonderful times. Shit times. I’ve been good. I’ve been bad. I’ve been hurt. I’ve been happy.

But most of all…I’ve LEARNT…and those experiences are all ONLY worthwhile NOW because of the learning process. So I’m cool with it.

I’m excited to see what the future holds! I’m a hopeless romantic. I want a real connection. A full one. One where’s you don’t make the best out of a bad bargain or sell yourself short.

The fairytale…

I’m not gonna lie…I kinda receive a delightful ‘jolly’ of offers, probably every minute of the day, due to social media…and I’m so incredibly grateful and flattered for all your love. It makes me smile and I’m an old bird now, so it keeps me confident! I need to be smiling. I’m too old to be slobbing around. So yes, I love you all for it and I’m thankful every single day!

So, as o began…yes…I’m single. I’m happy. I’m full! I’m on the look out for Mr.Right. I dont spread myself thinly. I won’t commit to anything that doesn’t make me happy. I believe in true love. I do think that there is one person out there’s for everyone.

But I’m not worried because he’ll just find me, won’t he!

Life is great. The babies are wonderful. Work is all back on track and I’m loving being back on set!

There’s something in the air….whatever will be, will be!

Chrissie x

Easing out of lockdown…

Definitely woke up with Junior’s foot in my face. Fortunately, it’s the cutest little foot in all the land. So, I counted myself luckily. 😉 Junior doesn’t like to sleep alone. He doesn’t like to BE alone in general. So he always ends up in ‘Mama’s bed,’ just to feel safe & secure and I love it because they’ll come a time when he doesn’t want me anywhere NEAR his bedroom, I’m sure. Haha.

Therefore, right now, I don’t take these moments for granted. Plus mums are MEANT to help their babies feel safe and more comfortable. (He turned 7 on June 1st & had the best lockdown birthday 🎂 party.)

Then at 1am, in trots a half asleep Ruby, with her sassy, curly top knot. She wears it to one side, but only when she’s in her pink Ted Baker nighty?

‘I can’t sleep. Can you make me dough balls?’

‘I’m asleep. No. Stop. Haha.’

‘Well, can I have crackers and that left over caviar, you got from Tesco?’

‘It’s 1am….are you actually really hungry?’

‘No. Not at all. Haha.

She giggled and then got into my bed tooo!

So last night no-one in Wunna land wanted to sleep alone. Or should I say, we all wanted to be together.

Things are feeling great at home. Lockdown eases up a little tomorrow and I guess I’m just gonna go with the natural flow of it all? Is it safe? Is it not? I don’t know? But i’ll plonk on my mask & stick to the guidelines.

There are a lot of changes happening in Wunna land. That’s quite normal though. They’re quite personal changes and well very big changes. However, ALL the changes (thank The Gods) are GOOD changes. We made a few decisions as a family and well I feel like I’ve had to live my life with my fingers crossed over the passed year. Although it’s quite frankly a good method when there’s Morning much else you can do because it’s hopeful. It’s not how Ruby, Junior and I wish to necessarily tango.

Changes are being made. Positive ones.

Anyway, on Friday I finally got to ‘self tape’ again & it felt so satisfying. I can’t even tell you. It felt THAT good. I auditioned for a new series, it was a ‘pilot,’ and I hope I get it. The idea behind the story & script is amazing. It’s such a fresh, innovative way to look at a very popular industry & tell a story. It’s films in Manchester and you know I love all things Northern.

I still have the film ‘Heads First’ to be shot in Manchester in September & I recently booked the second series of ‘The Series of Light’ with Oxygen films. I look forward to it all! I love being part of films & stories that need to Beverly made because they’ll make a difference.

Yesterday, on my insta, I also posted a lot about ‘Leave in Lurch.’ I cameo in it. Ruby stars in it and very I just can’t wait to see it! They’ll be another blog coming up on that, when it’s ready! But working ‘Green Run Production’ was amazing. They were first class!

I’m excited for it all. I got to chat to ‘Clint’ last night about work. Great actor. We played ‘Paula’ and ‘Vince’ in the film ‘Perfect,’ earlier in the year. Y’know, Clint and I are really similar people and we both want to do well. So that chat alone made me feel that ambitious energy again. The ‘juice’ as I like to call it. It reminded me that there’s a whole lot of 2020 left. It’s certainly NOT cancelled.

If I’m being honest…I feel like I’ve gad a GREAT year this year. My lockdown was fabulous! 🙂 I enjoyed my time!

What else?

I’m still alcohol free! At the end of this month it will have been 3 whole months!!! It’s actually quite easy now. I weirdly don’t miss drinking, but only because I lost weight, I felt better…all sorts.

Plus, I started getting all these really cringy flashbacks. Y’know the awful, embarrassing ones you get. Ones that you try to shake out your head, so you don’t cry of shame. Haha. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had some GREAT times!!!!! But those horrid, little tinkers. Those horrific, smudges of memory, that keep strutting back in…are awful.

The great thing is that they power me forward. (That wine needs to get put down. Haha.) I’ve also actually learnt how & why I used to use alcohol in my life. It’s been so eye opening and certainly uplifting. Plus, Big Brother Rex said he’d take me out to celebrate, when lockdown is lifted. AS he celebrates his own sobriety also!

In fact I think he’s on TV tonight? Isn’t it ‘Big Brothers Best Episodes?’

Anyway! Good friend! Please watch it!

Last but not least…TIKTOK. I’ve turned i to a massive Tiktok fan! I can’t remember if I blogged it? I certainly told EVERYONE…But I hit my first MILLION views last week and it weirdly felt so good…like such an achievement?

Maybe because I set a goal and hit it? Maybe because I genuinely LOVE performing and making the videos? Maybe because I can’t believe that so many people watched them and engaged?

I don’t know?

But I love it. I feel great!!! Dancing about, certainly makes me happy! It’s a great way to de-stress and a wonderful way to perform& connect with people, while sets are closed.

So I thank you ALL for watching, commenting, liking and sending me encouragement! Haha. I’m so grateful for it!

I’m getting all your emails also, for signed pictures. I’m gonna try and get through them next week. There’s over 2000…so slowly but surely i’ll get there.

Tiktok: @chrissiewunna1

Thank you so much for everything! You make the kids and I smile everyday! We appreciate it!

All my love,

CHRISSIE x

Listen. Learn. Love

I just haven’t known what to write? So much kinda happened at once, didn’t it? I know how I felt. It went in waves. There were moments where I felt passionate, I felt angry, I felt positive…I felt all sorts. Flashbacks came flooding back. They still do. Then I blinked and found myself living through the largest civil rights movement in history…I couldn’t believe it. I was so shocked & so incredibly moved. Yet so PROUD because voices were being heard, actions were being taken…and all in the name of LOVE & EQUALITY for black lives.

It personally means SO much. ‘Black Lives Matter’ isn’t just a ‘hashtag’ to me. It’s all the memories I have. The experiences i’ve both witnessed & encountered. All the times I’ve personally been racially abused or SEEN others being racially abused. All the times I’ve heard and watched people ‘just get on with it’ because ‘that’s life.’ It’s my daughter. It’s my son. It’s my friends. My family. It’s everything and every single INJUSTICE every human has received in the this world, to date…for NO TRUE REASON other than the colour of their skin, their sexual preferences, their gender…their everything.

I’ll admit, it’s felt overwhelming. I’m quite an emotional person. People often don’t think that I’m so ‘in touch’ with my emotions, because I don’t always put them on ‘show.’ Sometimes I say nothing. Sometimes I dance around them. Sometimes I ‘humour’ away, as a mask or to make YOU feel more comfy.

Yet, i’m an actor and emotions are our fuel. I feel, gather & deliver them…when I need to…when it matters.

‘D Bear’ once taught me that a wise man only speaks, when they have something important to say and it needs to be heard.

At 39, I certainly think before I speak. There’s a new found ‘grace’ to my manner and I love how it radiates. The younger version of myself, would ‘spout out’ recklessly, with thoughts, passion and without punctuation. However that doesn’t mean that I’m someone who’ll let others be disrespectful, hurtful or thoughtless…when it comes to myself, my loved ones, or others!

I’ve been trolled quite a lot on Twitter for supporting ‘black lives matter,’ standing up for civil rights and putting uneducated racists, in their place…who have been quite open about their hatred.

I was trolled because they wanted attention. How shamefully stupid of them to think that they’ll just be as racist as possible, during the civil rights movement…because it’ll maybe bring them a bit of ‘look at me.’

I managed to hush all the trolls …with sharp, direct home truths. They didn’t like it. But they were quiet then. So it’s important that you stick up for yourself and civil rights without fear. Trolls & bullies are weak. I can even feel how weak they are, when I’m reading their racist tweets.

Be strong.

However, I HAVE learnt a lesson from an amazing guy on Twitter called ‘Phil.’ 🙂 He’s ALSO fighting for civil rights. He does it without such love. Well, he taught me to ‘pick my battles’ because I was obviously being used for ‘attention’ and let’s face it, I’m a feisty one. ( My levels of confidence seem to SHOOT through the roof when I’m passionate about something!)

But, saying that, if you SEE, HEAR or READ something disgustingly inappropriate. Please do say! Video it. Screenshot it. We only know what happened to George Floyd because someone FILMED it.

Tell people how wrong they are! Tell them how’s hurtful, racist and deluded they’re being. It’s not okay and now IS a good time to stand up & put an end to it. Don’t ignore it because every time you do, you join them by being part of the problem. You hit ‘snooze’ on something that matters. You no longer make a difference. You’re being silent when people are asking for help and they’re asking for help because their haters are LOUD!!!!

You don’t have to be loud. You just have to do the right thing.

And you don’t need an audience of a zillion people on insta. It’s starts at home…with family and friends.

Don’t be terrified of trolls, if you’re being trolled. They’re gonna be nasty back. That’s what they do. It’s wrong, but you can handle it because you’re your fighting for what’s right! I mean what they’re fighting for is INEQUALITY and that’s a joke in itself. I mean one guy didn’t even KNOW why he hated people of colour so much when I asked him. He said he ‘just does.’

I know a lot of you reading this follow my ‘socials’ anyway, so you’ll know that I’ve been quite vocal. You’ll know how i feel & that I fully stand by the peaceful protesting.

I’ll fight for equality, encourage unity & hope for peace. I have children growing up in this world. I’m someone who believes that it takes a ‘noise’ powered by love and decency, sometimes a ‘fire’ to FINALLY be heard & to make people listen after CENTURIES of pain and being mistreated.

It’s amazing to see everyone coming together. It’s been so moving and so incredibly beautiful, hasn’t it? It’s also been so positive and an honour to be living through this time. I literally bow my head to all those who have stood by the black community, as one race…the HUMAN race.

If anything (and it’s been an insane year) the tragedies of 2020 have weirdly united the world as one. Like I said before, if we actually get through 2020 in one piece, we’ve done okay. Haha.

Plus, in a strange way, it’s been big good to see that the ‘narrow minded’ racists have outed THEMSELVES, because that alone will affect and already HAS affected their future…as they stand & footprint themselves in the poorest light.

Changes WILL be made this time. They’re ALREADY being made! We’re living through the largest civil rights movement in history. Don’t forget that.

The power that we have has human beings, standing up for black lives, inclusion, unity, equality & anyone that’s put in a ‘box’ and treated unfairly for no reason…will always outweigh the ‘shouty’ haters.

This time their ‘shouts’ will no longer be heard. This time we’ll WIN and they know it. They can feel it. It scares them.

BE the difference. Even the SMALLEST difference. Educate, love, support, learn and stand up for what you believe is right.

We got this…

All my love,

Chrissie x

Let’s have a catch up!

Oh my gosh! Morning! Morning! I’m here! I promise! Let’s go…

Okay, so I’m ever so sorry for the extremely poor effort, I’ve put into daily blogging during lockdown. But i deserve a teeny little break right? 😉 I mean I’ve written this little ‘shindig’ for over 10 years straight. Got a trophy and everything. I just fancied a couple weeks off to sunbathe in my spangly new, alcohol free body. (All the above paragraph is simply code for: ‘I couldn’t be arsed.’ Haha.)

But Yes! I’m almost TWO months booze free now! And although I miss sequinned bikinied pina colada’s & a salted rimmed margarita in the sun. I feel like I have a duty…because I’ve come so far! I’m feeling much much better. I’m alive. My fitter. I’ve lost weight. My skin is much clearer. There’s a glint in my eye. But most of all I’m happier.

‘Big Brother Rex’ is on his day hundred and something of sobriety…and because we’ve teamed up as buddies…(he’s like my alcohol free/detox mentor now..) and he’s been such a good friend through my life…since telly. Well…my heart won’t let me give in OR let us both down.

So here I am, Wednesday May 27th, lockdown 2020…at 8.32am, Yorkshire, England….in a kimono, by a cardboard cutout of a police car… without a single drippy droplet of golden rum, in my ‘temple’ of a system. Haha. (I’m laughing because I can’t even believe it myself?!? There was a time in my life where I think I pretty much made an extremely great living simply from going out every night…and cocktailing. Be it London, Leeds, or Hollywood. I feel like I’ve come full circle and spun around again for ‘showboat’ kicks. I’m genuinely impressed! I’ve nearly done 60 days! It’s bonkers! I’ve even dropped almost TWO dress sizes! Who knew my tummy rolls were Pinot Grigio!?!

I’ve also noticed that of recent I’ve been giving up a whole lot of things, haven’t I? Y’know, under a flag reading…

‘Challenging myself. Bettering myself…& shit like that.’

If I’m being honest I don’t know whether that’s actually the case or I’m just bored…emotionally tormented or…. I don’t know? I’m still in shock! Haha. Maybe it’s because I’m old now, so I’m finally what’s that word again? Oh yeah.. WISER!

2020 career wise, up until lockdown..Ofcourse…has been THE BEST year EVER! I’m missing being on set. I miss work. I miss being able to feel a character….tell a story. I miss hearing a director shout ‘Action,’ or listening to a crew fumble about lighting. I even miss ‘room tone’…and that definitely means I’m nuts. I miss being part of movie making…and the magic that comes with telling someone’s tale.

But let’s not dwell on that. As soon as this is over, i’ll get to catapult back into action, with my rocket boots on. That’s the good stuff.

However, alongside the good stuff, as somebody of you know…there’s been something really horrifically awful, going on behind the scenes….ALL YEAR…non-stop.. (Awesome!!)

It’s probably the hardest thing so far, that the babies and I have had to go through in our lives… Mainly the littlest…and that’s what breaks my heart. But we’ve been really positive, really confident, honest and strong. If anything it brought us even closer together & taught us a lot more about people and life.

Ruby & Junior are only young..and gosh they’re living their own kiddie dream! But they’ve also had to learn so much emotionally and fast, that they’ve accidentally become super balanced.

I mean, not everyone is as kind or as happy as you want them to be…Yet, that isn’t you’re fault, nor it your problem…as long as you stay strong and still beam in that ‘glow,’ the positive energy will bring you peace…At that point, once you’ve learnt the art of such…you’re pretty much invincible.

The stress finally comes to an end in 5 months.

It finally comes to a much happier end in 5 months.

We’re happy. We’re safe. We’re ignoring any ‘Tom Foolery’ that tries to become relevant in our land!

ANYWAAY! (…and breeeeathe.)

If you’ve been following my ‘socials,’ you WILL know that I have been TIKTOKING!! Haha. It sort of began as a cute banter joke between the beautiful Olympian Toby Olubi & I…But I’m three weeks in now…with over 600,000 views… (YES, I hit my half a million view mark last week…) and even though it’s moderately bonkers, I loving it!!! Haha.

Like I said, I guess a performer’s, got to perform and i found myself an audience…a delightful one that sends me love, from around the world every single second of the day. It’s almost wonderful. Lol. It’s certainly massaged little asian ego. But at the same time I’m just loving giving it a go…it makes me happy! Keeps me out of trouble. Gives me something to do!

I’m really grateful to every single person who’s taken the time to watch, enjoy, have a laugh with me and send me some love! You’re amazing and you make me smile everyday!

Go give my Tiktok a follow! I’m at @chrissiewunna1

So! What’s going on in Wunna land? Well we’re getting ready for Junior’s lockdown Birthday. On June 1st he turns 7…and we’re all really excited to celebrate! WE LOVE to celebrate everything we can! Even though we can’t go out and do our usual extravaganza, it still feels so wonderful, firstly because he’s the baby…and we baby the baby. Secondly because we have everything we need right here…home is certainly where the heart is.

He’s asked for a ‘Police car & Cocktail Umbrella’s’ theme.

Luckily, all kids themes are moderately camp…so I’ve got this down! Lol

We’ve also received delivery after delivery, on our doorstep every single day! It’s like Christmas!! So thank you to every single business, company, family member…..literally everyone who’s sending love, treats and kindness into Wunna land. We feel really lucky! We’re honestly so grateful…and yes we’ll be finding fun ways to show everyone what we’ve received!

I have a lot to tell you! I’ve commissioned art by ‘Faces’ (@facesorfaces) & I ordered a handmade sign by a good friend of mine @hazribo, which reads ‘Wunna Land.’

I’ll be telling you a lot more about both later! Yet please check into my Insta story, to see what’s going on through the day!

All my love!

Chrissie!

Championing Lockdown

Here I am!!! I know I’ve been shocking at blog writing through lockdown. But nevermind eh! Lol. I always think it’s always better when people do what they wish to do, when they wish to do it…provided that whatever their heart desires doesn’t harm anyone, or themselves in any way.

I’ve been homeschooling the kids (Which has now become a TASK!!!! Haha.) Luckily, I’m made for a challenge. However, it’s much more difficult when your actual babies are involved…because you can’t ‘Gladiator’ it with flames and lion tamers!!! Haha. You kinda have to tip-toe nicely around your glorious stadium, wiping bums to Mary Popins music and smiling, as you encourage or in my case brieb.

If you didn’t know….I’m a soft parent. I’m easy going. I’ll laugh before I lose it. But I’m also a being that ‘The Wunna Babies’ can ‘putty’ quite easily.

So through homeschool, I have Junior giving me the ‘baby woo- I can’t do this,’ eyes and Ruby ‘daggering’ me with her little peepers. Ru’s hilarious because she’ll hardly ever throw a strop during home school…She’s not like her brother who’ll roll about like a wiggly piglet in mud waiting for me to save him, but if she’s unhappy with the fact that I’m making her work much harder than she intended lol…she just looks at me coldly, like she’s plotting 97 ways to attack me in my sleep….and smirks! Lol.

It’s really creepy!!!!!

(And im SOBER!!! I’m a month and a half…. is it? I don’t know…? But nearly a month and a half into my ‘alcohol free’ detox. I’ve decided to refrain from the old tipple throughout the entire lockdown bonanza. It’s actually a great test of will because I don’t know when it all flipping ends. However ‘Cheers’ Boris for the 3 week extension. Lol Much appreciated. Here I go!)

Do I feel better for not drinking? Well it wasn’t until last week when I did. I’ve lost a whole dress size in weight, but I reckon it’s because I’m being more active as a result (to distract me) and my skin is probably about 99% better. So I’m happy! I can do another 3 weeks! else?

What else? Sunbathing?

Oh!!!!! Haha. I filmed for Isolation The Series on Thursday of last week. I received my script, went through it and (due to the current lockdown situation) I had to film it myself at home and submit it across to be edited! A really different way of filming, but it was utterly fulfilling! Just amazing!!! I had to leave gaps after each spoken line (like the other person in the scene was speaking) but keep it all smooth and a going! It was brilliant. I mean, I didn’t even know who my scene partner was at all? It was kinda crazy wonderful!!

I loved it because it reminded me that I was STILL an actress and not just a sunbathing bum. (There’s nothing wrong with being a sunbathing bum by the way. My mind just won’t let me relax enough…to be one….forever. Lol) Being isolated in my home with the people I love is EASY! It’s a JOY! But my kind constantly wonders about the future…and I keep having to remind myself to live in the present. I need to set my mind utterly freee! Then I’ve won my Isolation battle. Well…it’s not really a battle. I’m being dramatic. It’s more like a….dance off?

But yeah…filming the Isolation Series was just great! I wedged it in after homeschool, like a champion!

It’s funny how wonderful we feel when we get to do ANYTHING we have even a little bit of a passion for, isn’t it? Even just for a second. It gives us an extra sense of purpose and we beam with achievement. I treasure those moments like gold because they feel so precious to me.

Anyway! So how are all you lot? I’m watching all your insta stories and loving them! I don’t really know what to say other than I hope you’re all well? If I had any advice I’d say, use this time to enjoy who you are, embrace what you stand for and adore the people you love!! All those new skills you wanted to learn…do them! I mean I can bloody cook now!

If you know me personally you Will be astonished at that. The babies and I would literally EAT OUT at a restaurant almost every day…in fact during the weekends…even more than once a day. I’m not even joking. We’ve done room service for breakfast, ‘Issho’ for lunch, ‘The Ivy’ for drinks, a Bubblelogy stop off, then ‘Gino’s’ for tea on a single Saturday… before lockdown began.

I will say that the fact that I’ve accidentally saved an absolute TON of money, as you can imagine…However, it’s not JUST that, that’s made me beam…I mean the fact that I can actually produce meals…lovely ones for the babies, like a ‘Homecooking Mama’ fills my soul with such purpose and delight!!! Haha.

So yeah…

…be the version of yourself you always wished to be, but never found the time to make it a priority.

You kinda have the time now! Well for the next 3 weeks anyway…because once everything goes back to normal we’ll miss our time in lockdown. They’ll just be distant memories.

I’m trying to be healthier, be an even greater mum 😉 and now that i’ve had my filming fix, my acting sponge down, I’m quite happy to chill my career, until lockdown is over and just relax. I’m enjoying it! I hope you are too! Find the fun it in!

If you’re following my socials! You’ll know that I’ve been tiktoking! It was at the start of last week when I decided I was going to commit to it properly. Haha.

So so I did…

It’s been a week and by doing not very much, other than vibing to my fave tunes..( I soon realised I didn’t have to be Beyoncé…) I’ve managed to accumulate just over 2000 followers, around 8000 likes but over 100,000 views!!! I’m so impressed!!! Haha. The views make me smile because I’m showman by nature aren’t I!

You don’t have to like it…just watch it! Engage with it! Hahaha! Keep my ego massive. 😉

But new videos are going up today…so go follow me on Tiktok! I’m chrissiewunna1

Thank you to everyone who already has!!!

The babies and I are chilling and movie watching today…as I believe the sunshine intends to take a rest-icle. It was all sunshine and bike rides yesterday, so the ‘chill’ will be delightful.

I’m doing my usual ‘Ask me Anything’ on my insta story every day. So ask away. I’ve been rubbish at it recently. But i’ve been busy! So i’ll try and concentrate now…


See! I’m ready… Haha.

I love you all very much and The Wunna Babies and I send you all our love!!

Everyone’s asking me about my hair!!! It’s a human hair clip in from @xtenddoublehairextensions (insta)

Literally first class quality…I clip it in..takes 5 minutes…and my hair’s glam & done! Boom!

I’m actually trying to grow my hair so clips are great! But you can buy the clip ins for lockdown and later have the same clip ins, turned into actual sewn in extensions.

Pretty great! I feel like a new woman!! Lol

Anyway I’m laid in bed writing this!

Hope you’re well!

Chrissie x

22 Days, Life, Love & Happiness

Can you actually believe that I got so excited about bashing out my JLO Super Bowl Challenge, that I wholeheartedly flung myself into action (as I do) and in true granny-like style pulled my leg & back that I had to bed rest, because I couldn’t adequately walk!! 🙂

Now, I’m not as bothered about being JLO? Haha. I feel like I’ve ticked my ‘done a Tik Tok’ Box off, when I whipped out a ‘Beyoncé’ Challenge. As I said on my socials, my love DOES officially ‘cost a thing,’ and well i’ll have to save my freshly polished routine…that I spent an entire day learning.. lol…for some other day…month…or life.

Just so you know…this isn’t talk of someone who feels defeated. I NEVER feel defeated!!! Lol. This is talk of an old person, who didn’t warm up before booty popping like a Latino superstar for a remix, supersonic dance challenge. I DID get back up and try to film it again…but I weirdly had an audience…of passers by watching me? People had actually stopped walking their puppies to watch me Mama booty pop to JLO hits, that I got far too uncomfortable and had to stop. Haha. (And the funny thing is, that i HAD to stop because I was taking it FAR too seriously! Lol. It MATTERED & they were slowing my roll…so I strutted away from my Tiktok routine in an ACTUAL moody ‘Diva’ huff! Hahaha.)

Ruby was literally in tears with LAUGHTER!!!

Ru: ‘I can’t believe you’re being mardy because you can’t be JLO!?! Hahaha.’

Me: ‘Well they were ALL (three people lol) WATCHING me!!!!!’

We just burst into laughter and I got my sorry self back into my kimono….where I belong.

I was also gonna do the Diversity ‘What’s Poppin’ Challenge, so the kids could win Show tickets and 20dv Merch. Yet after watching Perri Kiely on my phone 92,000 on repeat and learning the entire ‘sha bam,’ I thought…Why bother doing this, when I’m truly quite happy to just PAY for tickets and merchandise???? Haha.

So I sacked that off too and learnt the ‘Ballet Challenge’ instead.

Right! So I’m in bed writing this right now. It’s 3.42am and my eyes have just randomly opened. A weird thing happened… I felt a lady presence in my bedroom doorway…in black…she always comes (but she’s kind…like I know her.) Well not ‘like’ I DO know her. I just don’t look because it terrifies me! Haha. I’m not good with things like that! I don’t like to creep myself out, so I pretend it’s not happening.

Anyway, whenever she comes she places a really vivid number in my mind…I usually fall back to sleep and then i fully wake up, I Google what the number means. It’s so strange????? It happens all the time? The number I got this time was ‘5.’

Plus, whenever it DOES happen Ruby randomly can’t sleep and rushes into my room to get into bed with me…EVERY time.

Enough of that though!!! I’m happy. I’m homeschooling the babies. Im loving every minutes of living in this moment and dealing with this time. I’m learning a lot about myself. I feel like lockdown has opened up a whole new realisation. I’m really comfortable in my own skin…I’ve always been one to know myself well. I’m noticing things about my personality that I didn’t realise before. It’s nuts.

I’ve noticed that although fun…I’m quite focussed and sensible. I’m a lot more sensible than I thought. I’m not all ‘pins colada’s and shimmie shakes.’ I ‘play’ that.

I’ve also notice that when I have a true true passion for something, I’m REALLY serious about it. I almost take it far too seriously. I’m hard on myself because I have the highest expectations of what I should be achieving. I want & like to do superbly ALL the time. But I need to lighten up a little.

However, the positive side to all that is that taking the things that matter REALLY seriously can be beautiful. Y’know when you wholeheartedly wish to do your duty well. I LOVE mastering the art of being a great Mum, a great actress, a great JLO Tiktok performer or great liver of life!

Talking about livers… 🙂 My actual liver must be well chuffed! (If you’re not northern, ‘chuffed’ is a good thing.) Today is day 22 of my body being alcohol free. I’m extremely shocked that I managed to get this far! But I’m proud! The detox is going well! There are days I feel better for it…days I just feel the same? Which is normal. But it takes a while for stuff to kick in, doesn’t it? And I think you’ve got to give things that while.

Just so you know, it is JUST a detox! I mean I don’t WANT to live my life without a cocktail in my soul! I’m magical like that.

But they always say it takes 21 days to quit a bad habit. Any bad habit, once it’s felt, dealt and an action has been put into place. That’s actually how I quit smoking…cold turkey. 21 days. Just woke up one morning after that really hot Summer of 2018 and decided to quit.

When we hit September 2020, it will be 2 years. (I’m good at quitting things that are bad for me…once I decide that they ARE actually bad for me. I’m like that with my love life also. 🙂 )

I’m gonna strut out of this lockdown, a really great version of myself. All new and spangly and feels wonderful!

But like I said…it all goes in waves. You have a chilled week, some have a week of boredom, some days you feel down or stressed and other days you’re chipper and happy.

I’ve had lots of different weeks. I’ve had a stressy week. A happy ‘holiday mode’ of a week. I had a week where I felt like I needed to achieve and work hard on my career. Now, I’m on my week where I’m feeling really content and just want to relax and enjoy the simple things in life, without hassle or drama. Y’know, just be all comfy and… ME….in my Mickey Mouse t-shirt.

However, even though emotions during this time, does go in waves…I’m really happy because my number ONE FAVOURITE thing, in the world EVER….which is ‘Being Mama’…never ever waivers. It’s always there & strong, like a ‘BEAM’ of life, excitement, unconditional love and filled with the most beautiful memories & hopefully the most wonderful future!

I’m just so lucky! I mean Ru & Ju LITERALLY make everything so utterly worthwhile & they give me a real sense of purpose. I love watching them grow and I love being a major part of their life & happiness. It means so much to me. Junior’s little face when he’s achieved something he never thought he could. Ruby’s sense of purpose & ….well she’s just like I am.

Y’know, we’re all learning the true art of OUR OWN happiness during this time. I send you ALL my deepest love.

Thank you for finding yourself here & following my life.

Chrissie x