Okay. February the 19th. My due date. I’m in the bathroom, tragically primping away, like any other Glamour puss, misted over with ‘Diva-Diva’ would be. I was having a very preggo day and actually feeling more mentally worried, than anything else, due to the fact that I didn’t know If i was going to be sprouting ‘life’ from my privates and at any given moment. Due dates are always terrifying. Be they for bills, court orders, weddings or ‘life.’ I tried to be in denial for as long as possible, purely out of fear, pretty much expecting another calm, boring day of trundling around with a bump and cankles..in the grey ‘waiting room’ of life. KILL ME NOW!
Then [phone rings] ITV2 come to my rescue to quench my desperate thirst for adventure, with the voice of Nina, asking if i ‘would like to come down to the studio to film my interview with Peaches….today???’ Obviously, at first i’m all terrified, with me being exactly 9 months pregnant and feeling quite sorry for my pretty self. Infact, I was bizarrely ‘No, No No-ing’ galore…until i was convinced to have a little think about it for an hour, before calling back. I was an utter sorry mess of fear. Like a puddle, with no ‘splash.’ A Warrior..with no balls. A hand without a heart. Which is what I would pretty much label as pathetic…but still delicious. (Ofcourse.)
The best way to describe it is that I was as far away from being ME, or even feeling like ME… as possible. I’ve recently been slumped in a rut of unglamourous ‘do it my way’ fear, that I’d gotten used to such tragic behaviour and filled it under ‘normal.’ I’m nothing like that. I’m a go-getter, dipped in a *wiggle* of danger. I play with fire…and get away with it, due to a *wink.* I’m a ballsy bit of dynamic nonsense. Yet there I was, all still…all scared and all ‘ i just can’t do it.’ (In leopard print pyjamas and diamond chandelier earrings. 🙂 ) Whats up Pussy cat!
Talked to Loverboy about it all. He immediately barked at me with a ‘NO! OMG! NO!!’ The idea of me travelling down there at the last minute, on my due date freaked him about because he’s a boy that needs to know what he’s doing weeks in advance…*Yawn.* I listened to him be all ‘blah,’ mildy authoritative and willing to miss out on an advnture out of laziness and fear of actually throwing skin to the wind and going for it. Realized, I was nothing like him. Realized, I hated the fact that I was not committing to the art of being Chrissie Wunna. Heard his whiney spiel of ‘i’m too lazy and scared to take a chance’ and after he 100% put his foot down and attempted to ‘Master’ his opinion on me. I called my Mother. (Who is my personal Doctors approval.) Got the ‘Green light’..with a ‘Go for it’, therefore picked up a *sizzle* of ‘fire’ and began to play with it, fearlessly. *Wink-Pout-Hair toss.*
Walked back into the living room. Told him I was going. Packed a bag and within 15 minutes..BOTH of us were placed in a car from Pontefract to ITV in London. ITV had actually PAID for a car to take us all the way from our doorstep in Pontefract, to the ITV studios in London…when I told them that I didn’t fancy going on the train incase I went into labour. The way I saw it was…Yeah it’s my due date. But what if my bambino doesn’t obey the laws of ‘your baby will arrive on this day of estimation.’ I could’ve played it safe. Or taken the chance. I took the chance, because that’s always been the difference between Me and every other person. I not a kitty cat, who’ll sit at home dreaming, without DOING. We went to London and THANK GOD too! My bambino never did *pop* out on February 19th. Infact, she’s still not out…meaning firstly I was RIGHT [applaud here] and I now have the best of BOTH worlds. The interview with Peaches (which i wanted to do…I mean come on, I’m an attention whore and have a book to promote shortly. Plus, I needed a bit of excitement.) AND now that i’m all home, comfy and safe…i am able to chill before my baby (who’s obviously being fashionably late) arrives with a cushiony soft peace. I’m a jammy little swine. 😉
The funny thing was that the car that arrived to pick Pete and I up, was a taxi and when we got into his car and told him to take us to ITV in London he nearly fainted with ‘OMG, what?? I haven’t been to London in Years!!! He didn’t even know that he wasn’t being sent there! However then he heard what his fee for the journey was and miraculously turned extremely chipper and fast. He was the best driver EVER! Like moi…his sense of ‘adventure’ got the better of him.
4 hours later we arrive at the London studios, after getting tragically lost for an hour in city centre rush hour. We’re handled in, as people grabbed our bags, paid the driver and made sure we were all in one piece. Then placed in a large, white, mirrored dressing room, where I flung on a purple, sequinned dress and Pete had a shave at the same time as stealing soap. We went to the loo and before you know it 3 minutes later, I was escorted into Hair and makeup, before being placed in the Green Room.
I lost Pete during the rush of it all. It was ALL GO!! The show began at 8pm and it was already 7.46pm. Infact, ‘hair & makeup ‘ was soooo packed (Dom Jolly was in there having his face ‘oranged’ up) that I got sent to rest in the Green room, that was filled with a bundle of people, some of them dressed as giant furry animals, others part of the crew. I had a bit of a banter with the Producers, team and the Chrissie Wunna ‘Baby Bump’ appreciation society. Peaches was outside reading her lines. The ITV2 where nothing but LOVELY to ME! I mean, they had called all the nearby hospitals to make sure I had the ‘all clear’ incase I needed to ‘have a child.’ I had a Doctor on standby. Lots of water, food and everything a preggo could need provided for me. (All i needed was bronzer and a ‘close up.’ LOL) I was having a very wonderful time, then not only did I ask for Pete to be fetched to me, because I seemed to have lost him. Yet I found out that HE was already in hair and makeup. Lol. Before ME!!!!! I love it.
After then being greeted by Thompy (Producer..he also did ‘Paris Hilton’s BBF’ that I was on. In his excitement he called ‘Jakey’ another Producer, to surprise him with the gift of my voice. I was Jake’s Favoruite BBF) and then i looked to my right. A crowd of hair human, hair in furry animal outfit people parted and who did I see perched on the arm of the sofa. EMMA BEARD! (BBf ‘Emma’ who was on the Hilton show with me. I hadn’t seen her since and well we didn’t actually get on too well towards the end of the whole BBF thing. LOL. Luckily, that evening we were fantasic. I actually missed her and we had a lovely little talk about life and my bambino. I loved it. It’s always good having a familiar face next to you.