‘Oooh-Laaa’ Much?

At ‘LOADED’ (Blondie is Rachel, who’s back got nickarooed. Back? I mean ‘bag.’) Not sure what i’m doing? Yet i’m sure it has something to do with Ego, booze and me welcoming my (imaginary) subjects. I was just drunk on champagne and having a boogie with my boobies at the end of the ‘everyone begging the DJ not to stop’ night. I have a glow stick and a whistle around my neck, given to me in the VIP by show fans who had pierced nips and were in ‘want’ of baby boobie jobs….i think?

Anyway, i’m pissed off because i’m having to miss ‘Britains Got Talent’ tonight, because of a family (snooze fest) dinner at ‘Aaaragh.’ I HAVE to go because it’s my lovely cousins birthday and because she’s milked the fact that i will be showing up. At least i’ll beable to get trollied infront of my on Grandmother. It sounds bad dunnit, but it’s not. She loves it. She use to be ‘Miss. Burma’ (haha) and well she’s the biggest fan of my boob job…after Buddha ofcourse.

Please tell me what happens. I need all the details. Feel free to text me a moment to moment account. I’m rude. I totally use my phone whilst ‘fooding’ with company. It’s non-stop for me right now and my Facebook Chat is going insane. (I’m not ignoring you because i’m a bitch. I’m ignoring you because i’m currently naked, trying to spray tan and geting ready for dinner, whilst writing a blog and because i’m a bitch.) Calm down my delicious ‘jollies.’  (Ooh-la la.) I’m a trollop, not a multi-tasker. Oh i met loadsa gays today, who worshipped me appropriately in book stores and dancing competitions. I LOVE my GAYS! You KNOW it! I find a new gay best friend everyday.

45 thoughts on “‘Oooh-Laaa’ Much?”

  1. Hey Chrissie!
    Me and my friend saw you today in Waterstones!
    You are absolutely STUNNING in the flesh,
    you were so kind and chatty too 🙂 You were lovely!
    Got pictures + stuff with you, which was nice!
    Thanks for being so kind
    Tom x

  2. Hi sexy bitch! I love the piccie! I like the way you’re standing there looking like the Queen of hotness and I’ve got some random spastic floppy hand problem. That bloody random spastic hand has somehow crept into many a picture when I’ve least expected it just to make me look retarded!
    Oh it sucks that you’re gonna miss bgt but its good that you’re making an effort for your cousin. I’m a little worried that my cousin (who I never, ever see and who just happened to be in the next town along on Saturday, and who I invited to the club and promised to put on the guest list) might just have turned up on Saturday to find that I had forgotten to put his name down, right around the time that I was having a little nap in the ladies with my knickers round my ankles!! HAA! Can’t even ring him to find out due to the missing phone! I really must be the worst cousin in the world!
    Love you muchos
    Rachel xxx

  3. Tom- OH MY GOD! I was just telling my friend all about you!!! Loved your cute little self. You’re so snuggly. LOL. So funny. I actually loved you AND our first picture where we looked liked spastics. Hahah. You were like, ‘I wasn’t ready goddamit!!!’ You are my favourite. Don’t let them tell you any different. Wink. Pout, thrust! All for you Tom!

    Rach- You are the funnest AND naughtiest person i have ever had the pure luck to meet so far in this Great land we call Britain. (Can’t wait to fuck off back to LA!) Hahaha! I can’t believe you did a slaggy 40 winks. Pants down to the ankles snooze fest. Delicious! Thankyou soooooooooo much for EVERYTHING. You are my new party friend and yeah a really shit cousin. LOL I can’t believe we left in the daylight, after a million double vodka red bulls. You were in heels and a mans shirt. Sign of a good fucking NIGHT! I adore you….

    Adam- Tom has replaced you. (hahaha) ‘I still love you bitch and yeah we will always be bitches. But Adam… you’re just not my British Best Bitch.’ TTYN

  4. Aha, glad I made such an impression! I hope your friend LOVED me.
    I actually love you MORE than I love Paris now! You were that polite and sweet – and so damn gorgeous!
    I couldn’t understand why there was so much commotion for “Peppa Pig”
    when you were in the exact same shopping centre!? So not right…
    That first picture was awful, I looked fugly. The new + improved version is now the wallpaper on my phone, though – damn, we look effing hot!

    Anyway, must dash – you’re a hottie and I love you!
    Tom x

  5. Peppa the Pig, stole my limelight!! hahha! Goddam that bitch! haha

    I am obsessed with you Tom. We are too sexy for our shirts!! I fucking LOVE you!! Spread the news! The Wunna is in Lurve bitches. Purr…

  6. Hot stuff! I LOVE you too 🙂

    You told me you loved me in Waterstones and it did make me smile! Aha.
    We ARE too sexy for our shirts. I loved your “Hello Kitty” t-shirt you had on yesterday, it was gorgeous.

    I have indeed spread the news – all my friends loved you already, so when they knew I met you they were like “OMFG – Chrissie, from Pontefract!?” haha, they all think you’re amazing!

    You have a good night last night? x

  7. i need to go waterstones to get a bit of that all i get is a book no sorts i get some old rotter selling me the book or a ginger fragel

  8. Tom- YOU ARE DELICIOUS! AND ONE OF MY FAVOURITE LOVES EVER!! God i loved my ‘hello Kitty’ shirt too..it loved you. It wants you….

    Perry- Don’t play with those gays, they have herpes

  9. Hell, I knew that shirt wanted me – I could so feel it calling out to me.
    And what can I say, babe, YOU are equally delicious – if not more so!
    Absolute stunner. I really hope the two of us can stay in touch. LY x

    P.S Your family are THE cutest, ever. 🙂

  10. ha ha that was me with the boobie piercing yay!!! and no to the boobie job now as u talked me out of it by telling me how much it hurts!!


  11. Hahah! Hi Emma! Yeah it really did hurt. I can’t believe i was sensible with you…lol, a usually i’m like ‘Yeah Go ON…the Bigger the Better!!’ But yes, i assure you…it kills. xxx


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