On my way to Fairytale

Had an amazing time last night at Dinner. It was my baby brothers 22nd birthday and well we kept it ghettto, kept it casual (I say it ‘cazula’) and hip/hopped it up to Nandos. Fair enough, i was mildy grumpy on the way there, due to my delicious little diet. I have a love hate relationship with it. I hate that it hurts my freedom. Yet love that my pants are now baggy and i could fit a goat in there if i wanted. Cheered it up at Nando, with ‘The Wunnas’- baby in tow and enjoyed a cous cous salad. I’m not actually meant to EAT on my diet. But fuck it. You can’t go to someones birthday dinner and sit there in the glittery Peri Peri corner like a twatoozal, without ordering a bit of yummy fodder. It’s rude. Plus even though i’m an ex-floozy, who on occasion, has an accidental nipple peek out of her top, without her own consent, i’m quite well mannered. It’s the Private school in me….and maybe being terrified of an asian verbal beat down for being disrespectful, whilst growing up. [Do an shouty Burmese face here for effect.] I’m like everything that i’m not supposed to be trapped inside a bubbly, ‘Va Voomage’ body of ‘she looks a bit porny?’ Woohoo! *Throws drink at you-winks* (God, Kelly told me that there were 250 calories in half a bottle of wine  yesterday!! Now, my only vice, is the thing that’s destroying my waistline. Great! Figures much!)

[Ruby is currently giggling and yelping happy noises at us, as Pete performs his ‘Mmmkay’ finger. I taught him well and can be found performing it at the best of times. If you don’t know what that it…you haven’t lived and you need to get an edumacation. ‘Mmmmmkaaay.’]

Okay, right, I have a lot of work on my plate right now. I’m off to work in a little bit. Works great right now. Fun, hard and thorough. Alongside all that, i have the BOOK tweaks to make and email off to the publisher this evening, with the piccies. I’ve finally found contact and it seems they’re not too narky at me at all. I’m still adored and thank the jubblies for that! OMG, the book will almost be OUT! Yay! I’m  sprinkled over with telly work offers. I’m getting offered a lot of fun things…so i’ll have a looky and find the most tragical ones to sign up too. It’s full speed ahead. Pete and I are wonderful. Ruby and I are delicious and life couldn’t really be much better. (Why am i flashbacking to a time, where i met a girl named heidi in LA, all blond and weirdly moron from Utah. We were having a slumber party. NO…NOT feeling each other up. I don’t get down like that. But she was a apparently addicted to cough medicine. I don’t know why i find that funny? I shouldn’t. But I asked her why and she said it was because she ‘liked to take naps?’ I have no idea why that’s stayed with me. Yet to make it worse i found out, that one of my friends who i hit on…was gay, another was a closet geek, and the other was a cutter? Hollywoods a bizarre place. There i was, all Yorkshire and all innocent at this point…with my bottle of Malibu, years before i enjoyed the slippery slope of ‘Oopsie,’ thinking ‘where the jeepers am I. It’s funny how to can look at people and think everythings fine with them, yet underneath it all they have a secret. We all have secrets. But you don’t need to be addicted to cough medicine to simply take a nap. Lol. Count sheep much!)

I don’t have anything else to say, except, i’ve lost 4 pounds! Hurrah! AND i ate! Whooppee! Now, i don’t want a bundle of little girls to all now think they all need to do this horrific ‘Master Cleanse. ‘ Please do remember that i did actually have a baby and in order to be healthy i need a little less jiggle in my wiggle. No matter what size you are, sexy is sexy. Work it, own it. Live it. (Look at me trying to sound all Tyra Banks. I sound more Ru Paul.)

I am aware that this blog is crap…but whatever i’m in a rush! Off to work I go…I work in an office where the boys ask me to make them a brew from my nipple teet milk. That’s an actual quote. As if, a Wunna could ever do that. We all know only vodka trickles out of my nipples. I can’t do a brew, but i CAN do you a cocktail! 🙂 (A bit of morning smut.)

I never know what’s going to happen to me in my life…i just know it’s going to be AMAZING. I guess that’s the secret to the whole ‘fairytale’ ending. *Wink-Pout* Learn it and love it?

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