Okay Here We Go…


I honestly have no idea where to start? It was an evening filled with the most ‘merry’ of merriement, excitement and Jack Daniels, that i woke up this morning (in the prettiest off beds) not being able to move any part of my body, staring at a ceiling, and trying to console myself. It was the most surreal evenings, that i’m slowly trying to recall it, from flashbacks. I’m a fun girl, one you should cherish, but excitement and the genuine ‘love of life’ got the better of me. (lol) I’m going to stay in for the rest of the week. Life hurts. I blame Wazza.

Well it started off at The Counting House, with drinks for a penny & from that moment on, it all went down hill from there really. I got obsessed with ‘Biggie’ and his ‘flashy ways.’ I was told that the Chinese ruined Christmas and made people ‘shit rivers’ and unable to ‘pull crackers.’ I remember demanding that everyone had to come to Lapland with me for my Birthday (My a Xmas Baby) so we could all live in log cabins & be greeted by happy dwarves that aren’t in bondage. I remember ‘Dodge’ telling me that i should really go to Mexico, because you can die from coconuts falling on your head, and from actual Midgets biting your ankles on boats, until your sore. I also remember someone telling me that i should remove my implants and advertise ‘sandpits for Argos.’ Then i spied a young gentleman determind to make himself look like a ‘Paedophile’ for some strange reason and did this by sticking his ears out of an anorak hood, smiling and then making my friend ‘Bone’ give him his glasses. ‘Bone’ was rather into it all. He actually gave up his own sight for this mission.

I danced under the stars with my dear friend Harriet, who bought 20 jelly shots from one bar, stuffed them into her handbag and bra, brought them into The Counting House and took me back with her so there was more handbag room. (I can’t even remember what happened??) But i do know that out of NOWHERE appeared this odd box of hats from behind the bar. Jester hats, police hats, pirate hats…it was like a pandoras box for drunks or people who question their sexuality. From that point one everyone morphed into a character and all i remember is quiet Dan, (and maybe a bit coz of drugs) ferociously turning into an overly excited ‘Raver’ Jester. (Lol.) I should’ve gone home at this point. I mean there were people there, who had obviously seen a lot better days, who even had the smarts to call it a night at that point. But oh no, not Me and Harriet. I am so disappointed in us. We were standing on a wall like 5 yr olds, in hats, with rum, under the moonlight (see how i tried to romanticize it) overly excited about life, waving ribbons, whips & well i guess making memories. I don’t know how i got that whip??

Long story short, we end up at the only nightclub in Ponty called ‘Big Fellas.’ It’s awful, but for some reason i had made the executive decision to LOVE it. I must have gone around the whole place telling them it was AMAZING. I was quite popular in that joint, i was. (LOL.) I was all cute n sweet and randomly kept needing to do ‘The Robot.’ All i remember is dancing away like the happiest ‘lovely’ in all the world, pushing away boys, and sitting outside singing ‘Mysterious Girl’ to strangers. It would’ve been better if i just passed out at that point. But no we kept on going…..

Come out the club and to my sheer amazement is the biggest fight in all of the land occurring. It was like a Pontefract rebellion. OMG!!! U would’nt even believe it. Imagine a large cobbled stoned street…filled and i mean FILLED with almost 100 people, girls & boys and all BEATING THE crap out of each other!!! Omg! It was hilarious and a bit scary. I tried to take pictures to show you, but i couldn’t figure out how to work my camera. There were men punching men. Women punching women. People literally ripping each others hair extentions out and boys twatting girls. It was insane. Infact even all the bouncers from every bar ran down and had a bit of a scuffle for fun. I hid by ‘Heaven.’ ( I don’t like fighting.) People were leaping off drain pipes and running down alley ways. It was so ‘West side story’ but without the finger snapping or the glamour. Lol

Walked all the way back to Harriets. I remember being angry and then after demanding a little bit of Marmite, i then went to sleep in a lovely frilly bed. Woke up…couldn’t move my body. I really need a cuddle right now. I’m just a girl, trying to have fun, and love her life the best she can. At times it’s easy. At times it’s hard. But i hope to have you by my side…through the thick and thin of it all. We all get a little lost but let me tell you ‘LOVE’  and a good heart is all you really need. If you fight really hard for what you want…the Good Lord thinks ‘shit they really must want this’ and cuts you some slack in the end. He lifts a few walls. Be happy and love the ones that love you.

8 thoughts on “Okay Here We Go…”

  1. BEST FIGHT EVER !! I am actually suprised there were no monkeys involved.
    I am actually pissing myself having a flashback of how giddy that fight made you
    “harrrrrrrrrriet they are actually RUNNING down the alley”

    “wunna I bet I can bring some shots back over from dragon”

    It was all a little bit too much.

  2. I still feel shit, however I have just spent an hour watching Alex’s show where she danced to songs like ‘we love to boogie’ and ‘working 9 til 5’

    made me feel good.

    Now I have to make up to Dan for you beating him with your handbag while he was asleep when we got in.

  3. Hey, your brave going in big fella’s!! Ive been in there once and the lads are just spoiling for fights, and the girls, thats what they do!! Im suprised they dont have a go at you for simply being that ‘chrissie off the tele!!’ Think my brother got headbutted there aswell lol. have to say you kinda have so many lifes that you hop from!! From LA, all the stories there, to the tv, to London clubs to big fellas.. lol, i mean i personally think its a good balance!! I was saying to sam last week that id like to meet you, i was very drunk at popstarz and was asking where you were, sure he thought i was a freak!! I AM!! in all the right ways!! haha, but he was saying he loved you!! Hope to see you around chrissie in ponty or London!! Im up next week briefly then the week after xxx Gary

  4. HIYA Gary!!! Hahah…yeah i’m juggling 4 lives at once. It’s crazy but healthy!!

    I’m in London on Aug 5th and then back in Ponty. I’ll totally meet you. x


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