Oatmeal n Eggs

So i’m up, i’m happy, i feel the strongest i’ve ever been, but i’m on this shite oatmeal and eggs diet. If you’re an Angeleno, this is a very normal thing if you’re wanting to shed a few quick pounds, have a shoot, a TV show, or you’re a scary body builder. In yorkshire, i believe it’s a sin. It’s only been 3 days, and i’ve accidentally lost all the weight i needed too, to the point where i think my boobs have shrunk!!! SCANDAL! I thought the whole point to having a bloody boob job, was that they NEVER shurnk!! However i have been informed by my mignons, that i am merely being paranoid, and my ‘spice rack,’ is still all herbs n spices. I’m about to set off to the tanning salon, due to not being able to lay at the pool by The Standard, sipping malibu pineapples, and flirting with boys that did a one liner on a soap opera. I have a week to get brown, so the fake tan, need not be applied, and therefore a little bit of ‘uv light’ therapy is just what the doctor ordered. I have ‘Big Balls Byron’ in my head right now, he’s (Mr.Newman) my Playboy test-shoot guy…it’s hilarious…i think his bizarreness impressed me soooooo much, that he implanted a brand on my brain for life. He’s so interesting that he’s got me wondering what HE does every spare moment of the day?? I think it’s cos we told each other so many random unfinished stories. It’s always good to never finish your stories…people pine for more.

I’m feeling good, i’m looking hot, i have a busy work week, and my AOL is not fucking working again!! I’m not letting it bother me, and instead deciding to drink tea, and judge people to help me get back to my senses. ‘Latin Lover’ is deciding to annoy me, by being a baby. He thinks i’m selfish because a few days ago i wanted, well needed to talk  to him, during a time when he was  at dinner prefering to watch a guy he never met toss raw fish in the air. He thought he could charm his way back into my heart. Unfortunately, there is a strict criteria you have to meet before ‘charming’ works with me…another boy i use to date is trying to do the same thing?? You both ‘don’t got it!!’ (evil laugh) let alone being even a tad bit near the criteria!!! Infact i even  think ‘latin lover; is rather too grand a title to be just throwing out there, and plonking on someone who may not be worthy of such grandeur??? From now on i’m gonna call him ‘Rudes.’ (And yes it’s his name, well ‘Rodolpho’ is…i didn’t just randomly make that up!! Ofcourse it would be funny if i did, yet i seem to always never be as funny as i intended. For a girl with such good rhythum, i rarely hit the beat!!)

So whilst you tuck into your breakfast burrito, or your delicious bacon butty (i’m not eating meat either right now!! I know? What has happened to me??) Please do kindly throw me a chunk, if you see me pass by, as i am starving on Oatmeal, n Eggs, and for no real reason aside form Vanity and stupidity!! Booyah!!

1 thought on “Oatmeal n Eggs”

  1. i had toast this morning i should of had me special k s i am trying ot lose me derby i have lost a stone since thailand i am know 17 i want ot be 15 by the newe year so i dont get randoms calling me baby elephant or king kong while me pals get sexc man lol. i hope u have fun and u have a good time tanning by the pool chriise have a few malibu and pinaples for em treacle take care chrissie tada scratch


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