Not good at the ‘ponder’

Well…I don’t even know where to start because today has been soooo super awful and sooo super boring, that my mind has decided to conk out to the merry sound of ‘Ugh’ much. But whatever i’ll stop moaning because…well at least i still have amazing ‘ooh laa’ regardless as to whether the art of boredom thinks he’ll (noticed that i label him a MAN) get the better of me.

Anyway, yeah…on sunday, was ‘handsome’ Keiran and Baby Ruby’s first day as a team. It was kinda nerve wrecking because it felt odd…like a first date…like…well i can’t describe it. Yet luckily it went really wonderfully, even though poor Keiran initially had my tiny child (who was dressed like half a lamb) GLARE AT HIM silently, until he impressed her by taking her..well both us to Cannon Farm. As soon, as we got there, they were off bonding and looking at goats, guinea pigs and everything inbetween, with snotty noses, giggles and ‘ken Doll’ hair. We’re were actually the hottest little family going. But saying that, we were on a fricking farm. There really aren’t too many beauties loitering such parts. (I was actually quite quiet the entire day…it just all felt scary.) But yeah, Keiran (bless him) really did his absolute best…and well Ruby loved life that day!

We then tottered onward to New Miller Dam, we’re Keiran and I always go, for a little bit of a ‘biddy’ walk in the woods, hand in hand, in the woods. (I’ve  accidentally made it sound like a kinky fairytale.) Yet believe me…it’s just about the freedom. We took Rubes and again they gallavanted off into the distance to look at swans, and climb trees and do whatever else i couldn’t seem to do in hot pink heels.)

The evening came. They both knackered each other out. To the point where they both passed out around me, after an intense playtime and left me to sit alone in the dark and watch cars on the telly, before it was hometime.

My Mum had Rubes that night, in order to Keiran and I to keep our passion alive…and we did. We sat in the living room, ate garlic bread and smooched. We ventured upstairs and had the yummiest bit of sexytime, you could ever imagine. I looked at him differently this time. Like I said and i don’t know why, but i’ve fallen for him MADLY right now, that it could almost get stalky. 🙂 I just looked at him and he looked sooooo FIT, that i could’ve DIED! Now, i don’t know whether it was the anticipation, or the fact that he loved my daughter, or the fact that he really does get me going when he has a spray tan? 🙂 But i am super attracted to him, let alone in love with him right now. We’re best friends, lovers, and a family together and i just couldn’t be with a better boy.

Ruby slept perfectly last night. Pete turned up this morning and decided to be upset at me, due to a text that my mum had sent him. I have all this drama going on around me and for the first time in ages Keirans ventured off to Leicester today and OMG i’ve missed him!! We’re been so close. Infact no, we’re now even closer that he weirdly (and i’m NEVER like this) feels sooo far away. It literally feels like part of me has wondered off for a sec. It’s AWFUL. (I’m in love.)

Anyway, he’s picking me up from work and i’m meant to have pondered by true feelings about how i feel about him going away to work. (He thinks i’m not telling him the truth about how i actually feel and states that he really needs to know, as it will shape his choice making, due to me now being the only thing he loves in life right now.) Now, before i didn’t at all bothered me. Not at all. I’m not sure why it didn’t. But it didn’t. Now…and because i’ve gone at got myself all attached to him, the simply thought of him actually being away for ages and ages, makes me just feel sick to my stomach. But i’m one to always sort of try and look out for the best interests of others and i just prefer people to make their own choices in life and choose their own path, right? I mean, i have no problem with him tottering away for a bit, to make some moola. I’ll miss him…but it’s worth it.

I’m finding the pondering difficult..and i have about an hour and a half to come up with some kinda ‘truth.’

Other than that, i’ve just been forwarded my fan mail and well…you know you’ve made it when you have a random card that reads nothing but ‘Chrissie Wunna gives me a boner’ followed by a *smiley face?* It’s quite high up here reigning from the lofty heights of Greatness. *Rolls eyes*

Another message read, ‘Hi sex, h r u u r hot grl me hansum i mis u’ 🙂 Nice! I’m obviously an inspiration.

I’m currently waiting to find out a publishing date for MY BOOK. UGH! I’m so frustrated!! It’s taking ages!!! I need my wisdom in book form goddamitt!!


Keiran & Rubes

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