No More Goolies

Boys keep mailing me pictures of their goolies in order to ‘woo’ me. Lol. I’m up for a bit of a peek and a lot of a laugh. Yet really now, lets all grab our school books and go back to ‘Romance Camp.’ Firstly, i’m taken. We know this. But i love a bit of male attention, infact any attention, especially now i’m an oldie and falling to pieces, with my chimp nipples. Therefore, i let the boys express their adoration for me freely. 🙂 The only ones i don’t like are the ones that fail to even TRY and ‘woo’ and just go for the straight, ‘Do you want to sit on my hard knob’ inbox. EWWW!!!!! I’m a girl who enjoys roses, champagne, giggles and diamonds. I like kittens and lipgloss, the occasional moment of vixen and love. ‘Hard knob’ in any first impression sentence, will not only refrain from ‘wooing’ me but will then be shown to all of my friends for the sake of ultimate ridicule. I prefer ‘googie-goo’ over ‘slap me down sally.’

But yeah, I mean thankyou for all the love, but i really do not need pictures of your willies anymore. There aren’t even faces on these pictures. Just willies. I need to put a face to a dinky. Therefore, if you’re brave enough to ‘dirty picture’ me, but not brave enough to do an ‘owner wink’ that you not the soldier for Wunna. Plus, i’m now going to forward them to my gay friends. They need a bit more reading material. Pete is going to be all nice and MAD now. Haha. (Why does that humour me?) I love how men simply forget that Pete is even in the picture. Haha Heeellllooo? Baby daddy much! Poor thing. Even when i tell them, they simply *shrug,* want to buy me dinner and then mail me a picture of their goolies. Boys will be boys!

Anyway, not to put goolies and my daughter in the same blog on purpose or anything. (But there just needs to be some light, in all the genital madness.) I took her to have her final immunisations today. OMG! I can’t even bare to watch. I hate needles, therefore inflicting my tiny little bambino on 3, kills me. Pete went with me. He actually and very usually goes to all of them because i’m working pretty much all day every day, except weekends. They know him well and adore him. They look at me like i’m a weird stranger, that they have to love. I think they think, that i’m some kind of Diva? When i crack a smile, they look bizarrely shocked and only then smile back??

Anyway, Ruby gets jabbed, in pink and bows and frillies. The first one didn’t phase her. The second *jab* made her look at the Health Visitor like she was a bitch..followed by very dramatic weeping. The third, looked like a killer. OMG..there was crazy screaming for a whole 6 seconds. Then the Health Visitor sat her up, looked into her eyes and just like that, Ruby stopped, smiled and wanted to be her friend again? That was it. I have the most forgiving daughter? I’m impressed. Everyone thinks Ruby is the cutest baby ever much. (Yes, i am being a boasty mum.) We can’t go anywhere without women of all ages, huddlling around her no matter where they are, be it a bank, a supermarket, a car, a street, a shopping centre, a hospital..no matter where they are, Ruby reduces them to a series of soft, goey ‘awww’ sounds, funny faces, tickley fingers and ‘oh my goshes.’ I’m really proud of her..she’s 4months old and already knows how to work her crowd. However, right now after 4 ‘learning to crawl’ sessions and 3 yanking mummy’s weave out to our ‘Jungle baby’ song moments,  in ‘Hello Kitty’..she’s fast asleep. I’m loving today. Pete’s out at work and i get to finally relax, between Doctors appointments and enjoy life, calm and…..goolie pictures?

Hope you’re world stays exciting. I really want my edited book piccies now and i really need to find out where my publisher has disappeared to? Gorgeous day. I’ll start my whole diet and exercise routine tommorrow. 🙂

Leave a comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.