No Money, No Honey?


Morning my hot tamales!

Today I am overwhelmed with excitement, buzzing like the happiest bee in all the land, brimming over, almost bubbling with a juicy flourish of ‘joie de vivre’ and simply because it’s Friday and I am COMPLETELY OFF WORK. Hurrah! I’ve managed to do my hair properly this morning, wake both babies up with ease, take the LONGEST morning shower ever, slip into a perfect, chilly Friday ‘Wunna land’ outfit, actually DO the nursery and school runs by MYSELF and take the day off simply to enjoy being ME.

(I’m currently in Starbucks Doncaster. The one in The Frenchgate centre. I have a mocha. I get to actually WRITE MY BLOG, IN THE ACTUAL MORNING WITH COFFEE. Woooo! I’m happy. I’m chilled. I have a fun evening planned with Ben and..well lets just say the chicks at Starbucks didn’t even toast my smoked salmon, cream cheese bagel this morning and I didn’t get pissed off. 🙂 I utterly ‘heart’ Doncaster, as it is the town that I grew up in, the town that birthed me and whenever i’m hear i feel all cosy like i’m home. I get that feeling whenever I land in at LAX also and hit Los Angeles soil. I think it’s because i did the majority of my growing up in BOTH places, on both continents. They were really big times in my life and everywhere else seemed transit. However, now that i’m back in Ponty, living life, nurturing children…i’m finding it home and feeling settled. But I think that when you’ve lived everywhere, you sort of appreciate everything a little bit more.

I wanted to rant today but i couldn’t even begin to tell you what I needed to rant about, other than the fact that I can’t stand chavs, people who can’t clap a beat, rudeness, the fact that i’m going to have to take all my clothes off shortly, when it’s freezing for a spray tan and…SEE…can’t even think of anything.

I had a late night psychic reading last night and it was amazing. Y’see, whenever they read me, i always apparently get this refreshingly amazing cards, or readings that the readers don’t get to see EVER. I’m set for big things. HOWEVER, and they usually talk about business with me and how well it’s going to go. Yet last night, she focussed in on my love life…and i’m not going to tell you what she said, just yet, because it’ll make me look like a plank…as i have just entered a relationship…suddenly…out of nowhere, but with a smile. But anyway, she told me all this stuff…and it sort of shocked me, but sort of made me smile…like made my eyes smiles, so i must be more ready for things than i thought. It’s kind of an achievement for me, with my awesome track record in the love department.

(HAHAHAHAHAHA, SORRY. *Cut away.* Currently pissing myself at the fact that an old man, carrying a little latte has just come up to me and randomly said, ‘I’ve got a small one.’ HAHAHAHAHA. Dying! Oh god! No. Not the old man. 😉 )

But yeah, I won’t tell you what she said, but it’s great, if it pans out that way. So, if anything, it gave me ‘the most gorgeous sleep’ because i felt at peace. The babies also jumped into my bed, because for some reason right now, they can’t sleep unless we’re all together in one bed? Hurrah. (I don’t mind. 😉  I kinda love it.)

I think relationships are all about finding that *peace.* Not nnecessarilythat ‘calm’…but that *peace* where you sigh with relief because you feel as though your giant ‘life partner’ search is over and you can finally trust, breathe and be happy forever. I watch couples struggle and fight and well i’ve been in couples that struggle, fight and torture one another, due to simply not finding the right match, at the right time, or place, or emotional temperament. I’m not someone that believes you can be with anyone, if you’re in the right place at the right time. I honestly believe that there’s someone who you’re MEANT to be with…and no matter what, your life and experiences will meander around to get you to that being. We see them as chance meetings…but i reckon they’re all meant to happen.

But I know nothing, so don’t go on me. I’m a floozy, with too much tan on, wicked heels and giant eyelashes. I enjoy life. I enjoy love and that’s the key to it all. People waste so much time, moaning about what they don’t have, instead of enjoying what they do have.

Infact, boys do that do that with me, often. They spend a lot of time stressing about losing me or impressing me (but I do enjoy to be impressed) instead of just enjoying me, loving me and embracing it all bravely without worry. It actually makes ME worry when they do that, as i’m quite soft when in love…so i get all panicky and stressed. Lol.

I like open, expressive people in general. Especially when it comes to the men I date. You’ve all been there when you’ve been sat opposite a being, on some random blind or first date, that you don’t know and well getting them to just be themselves or express is like getting blood out of a stone. (I wanted to type ‘Billy goat’ then? Lol. I have no clue why? ) I mean, when i went on that girls night dinner with Katty, whilst we were waiting in the taxi rank, some girl had run in, who had escaped from her shitty blind date, by saying she ‘didn’t want a pudding.’ Lol The sheer happiness on her face, to be away from such a weirdo said it all.

Dating isn’t easy….until you find the right one. You know when you’ve found the right one, because you just do.

ANOTHER THING….I date Ben. I’m Ben’s girlfriend, but i’ve been hanging out with our mutual guy friends a lot. We both have. And it’s great. Yet, whilst we’re at what i call ‘the round table,’ girls…i’ve heard the boys moan and it seems that it’s a massive struggle and pressure for boys to always have to pay for a girl.

Right. I get that we as women adore to be romanced, taken care of, loved, and treated like we’re their ultimate Princess. I do. We all do and i believe in roles and manners. Yet, away from that…just so you’re not confused, because guys i don’t know think this of me a lot….i’m not a girl who doesn’t pay her own way EVER and it makes no difference as to whether i’m dating a movie star or a regular ‘joe.’ (I’ve never dated a Joe. Wait!! I HAVE. I  totally dated Joseph Fiennes! His movie was up for an Oscar and he spent part of his free time piggy backing me down a escalator, telling me he was Irish.)

Anyway, there’s letting a guy, be a guy (which they do like, as all men do wish they could please the object of their desire) and letting them pay for you. But then there’s taking the piss…when you don’t work, or don’t do your fair share, in the relationship, be it a bit of a ‘clean down,’ cook a tea, pay half…or whatever. It’s important to invest in your relationship equally, in order for there not to be any resentment, later down the road. PLUS, and i’m far from a feminist, but it’s important for a girl, in my mind, to be independent enough to stand tough financially and be able to pay her way through life with ‘VA VOOM.’ It’s sexier. If i want a pair of Jimmy Choos, i’ll buy myself a pair of Jimmy choos, in fact i’ll buy two pairs, because i’ve worked my own arse off and can get whatever I want, whenever i want and that’s what makes us WOMEN, without having to rely on another being to ‘okay’ a purchase. What could be worse!!

All i’m saying is that you don’t want you’re man, you’re boyfriend, your husband, your other half, to be that guy at the pub ’round table’ having a moan because he’s resentful. Don’t get me wrong, if they had all the money in the world, they’d spend it on you, wholeheartedly, repeatedly and without worry. HOWEVER, (and i know this from being quite masculine when it comes to money making and business) in order to get to that position, they need help and well…relationships are about building a future together.

I mean, I remember this girl in LA, whilst i was sat in a secret cafe garden, on a lawn, during a really warm evening, that had chimes tinkling in the background. It was low lit and lovely. She was with her now husband and she told me that he sat on that very lawn years ago, with a brown bagged sandwich, that they were sharing with hardly anything to his name, but had asked her to marry him. He promised her that he would love her forever, take care of her and be a success…at that point…he had nothing..

Now…he’s an extremely successful gentleman and all she said to me was, I watched him tell me all this, whilst he ate his half of his sandwich years ago, that I had to pay for because he was waiting for a payday, but i agreed to marry him because i believed him. HOW ROMANTIC.

I mean, from my own experience, look at Mike. He was a struggling actor on auditions in Hollywood. I had been paying for everything, not minding one bit as we were married at that time. He couldn’t even afford Burger King for our tea. But years later, after a bit of focus…he was on almost every TV show AND did that Tom Cruise movie a couple years ago. I remember meeting up with him, whilst i was still in LA for a coffee and a catch up, and when i went to pay, out of habit..he stopped me, laughed and said, ‘I can get this now.’ 🙂

So, what i’m saying is that dreams come true. They really do and they happen every single second of every single day. Boys… don’t stress, don’t moan, lay some ground rules, work hard. Girls… don’t pressure men, be independent, love and contribute. Everybody focus..and we’re all happy in the end!

I still don’t want to take all my clothes off for a spray tan. I need to find a way around it. FREEZING.









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